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View Full Version : [Brood] How does this summary sheet look to you?



vgunn
2012-07-08, 09:51 PM
Brood a fantasy tropez

In alpha, but it's getting further along. What do you think, is the writing clear?

http://img546.imageshack.us/img546/5585/brood1pss.jpg

Craft (Cheese)
2012-07-08, 10:17 PM
From the writing, I'm not quite sure exactly what Tools, Trumps, Tolls, Typecasts, Troubles, or Trademarks do. These are probably explained in the rulebook though.

I would also avoid naming all of these things with T-words. I get the alliteration thing, but keep in mind most gamers will want to abbreviate stuff when they talk about your game (Damage Reduction -> DR). It's best if your naming scheme works with this natural urge instead of against it.

The main problem is the design of the sheet itself is... incredibly messy. All of that black is going to be killer on printing, and the trumps and tolls section has no lines (which is a major problem for people like me who can't write straight without them). Use a minimalistic design; Sure it'll be "boring" but it works.

vgunn
2012-07-09, 10:08 AM
@Craft, thanks for response.

There will be more detailed section on rules (with examples) and a glossary as well. At a glance, when looking at the definition and sample--does the text give you clear, basic information that you can understand?

The alliteration will stay, players can of course substitute in alternate definitions.

Individual character sheets will be much more user friendly, I only wanted to have as an stylish example.

Gnome Alone
2012-07-09, 10:21 AM
I suppose I agree with Craft (Cheese)'s (oh, man, I just got the joke in that name) design suggestions, but maaan, that thing is pretty.

vgunn
2012-07-09, 12:58 PM
I suppose I agree with Craft (Cheese)'s (oh, man, I just got the joke in that name) design suggestions, but maaan, that thing is pretty.

Cool, glad you like the look of it. What do you think of the writing, is it fairly easy to grok?

Gnome Alone
2012-07-10, 03:41 PM
Fairly easy, yeah. I confess I don't know what Brood is, if it's your own creation or whatever, but I'm a big nerd for tables and charts and character sheets and such, so that's why I clicked on it. I also don't really understand dice pools. By and large, I guess it seems kind of fast, fun and rules-loose. Though that's just my impression. I can't imagine any of that actually helps you out, so, sorry, but I just figured you deserved a response since I opened mah big fat virtual mouth.

Nepenthe
2012-07-10, 10:36 PM
As long as players don't have to print this sheet (how would anyone write on the black bits anyway?), I really like it. It's visually stimulating, straightforward and consistent. The writing for the examples seems clear and internally consistent also (something I often find lacking in indie RPG's), though I confess I don't know what most of it actually means. Loving the alliteration.

vgunn
2012-07-11, 07:23 PM
As long as players don't have to print this sheet (how would anyone write on the black bits anyway?), I really like it. It's visually stimulating, straightforward and consistent. The writing for the examples seems clear and internally consistent also (something I often find lacking in indie RPG's), though I confess I don't know what most of it actually means. Loving the alliteration.

Cool, thanks for the response!

UserClone
2012-07-12, 09:41 PM
...The writing for the examples seems clear and internally consistent also (something I often find lacking in indie RPG's)...

Hm. Which ones did you have in mind here? I have seen a LOT of really good examples in indie RPGs and a slew of terrible examples in mainstream ones (loads of impossible stats or broken feat chains on sample characters/monsters in 1st-party D&D books come to mind).

vgunn
2012-07-13, 03:05 PM
Hm. Which ones did you have in mind here? I have seen a LOT of really good examples in indie RPGs and a slew of terrible examples in mainstream ones (loads of impossible stats or broken feat chains on sample characters/monsters in 1st-party D&D books come to mind).

Agreed, there are some fantastic "quote, end quote" indie games that have been put out.

Nepenthe
2012-07-13, 10:38 PM
The database backup ate my post last night.

It wasn't my intention to single out the little guys. Mainstream RPG's certainly have their fair share of problems too. I just assumed this was an indie project because it was posted here.

I'd provide specific examples, but if something is full of errors I honestly don't bother to remember it's name. Good writing is hard to find these days. Also, Sturgeon's Law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sturgeon%27s_Law). It's all too common to see writers switching tenses three times during the course of one run-on sentence, or using several different terms to refer to a single mechanic. I appreciate consistency.
/Waits for someone to point out that I switched tenses.

vgunn
2012-07-13, 11:56 PM
It wasn't my intention to single out the little guys. Mainstream RPG's certainly have their fair share of problems too. I just assumed this was an indie project because it was posted here.

No worries. Yes an indie project, but I've got hope the production value and editing quality will be top notch!

Nepenthe
2012-07-14, 01:29 AM
And it looks like you're off to a great start. I'm already intrigued by the style of the sheet.

Geostationary
2012-07-14, 03:23 PM
I agree with what previous posters have said, but I'd either change the font you're using for the Trade or space the letters out further- I keep parsing it as "Clerk", and didn't figure out that it was "Cleric" until halfway down the page.

vgunn
2012-07-16, 11:38 AM
I agree with what previous posters have said, but I'd either change the font you're using for the Trade or space the letters out further- I keep parsing it as "Clerk", and didn't figure out that it was "Cleric" until halfway down the page.

I can do that. :smallsmile: