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View Full Version : How D&D quite possibly saved my friend's life



Deimess
2012-07-09, 12:35 PM
There is a guy who goes to my high school who many would qualify as "emo." I saw him every so often but didn't have a class with him until junior year, where he sat next to me in math class. He seemed very different that year, and we talked here and there and realized we had a lot in common and started hanging out a bit more. He started to be more social and eventually got a cool girlfriend and made a ton of new friends once he started opening up. He continued this trend until late senior year when all in the same 5 day span, he got a fever of 103, he broke up with his girlfriend, his dad got cancer, and some bad stuff happened to his older sister, and he didn't get accepted to the college he wanted to get into. This led to him having little school attendance, so he started to fail calculus as well. Just when it looked like his girlfriend was gonna get back with him, she got asked to prom by a guy from anther school to go to our school's prom. Needless to say, he became severely depressed. My brother called him and he admitted to having suicidal thoughts, and after a week and a half of no school, I decided he needed something, and took a long shot by inviting him to come play D&D with us, since we were about to start a new campaign.

At this time I had been DMing 2 or 3 friends and my brother for over a year. We invited him and a few other new friends to come over and see what it's all about. Not expecting much myself, I was not expecting everyone to love it. It gave my friend a whole new set of close, caring friends and he took to the game and got immersed in it very quickly. I've never seen him so happy, and now he's gotten over everything, and our new campaign is epic and going strong with a party of 7. GO D&D!

Zorg
2012-07-09, 01:22 PM
That reminds me, I really need to finish Season 2 of Community (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advanced_Dungeons_%26_Dragons_%28Community%29).


But seriously, high fives all round for your bro and friends for looking out for each other :smallsmile:

Rallicus
2012-07-09, 01:23 PM
Nice.

D&D helped me through a rough patch as well. Won't go into too much detail but, suffice to say, it was pretty scary and had me turn into a shut-in for a few days.

Sometimes escapism is a good thing.

Ravens_cry
2012-07-09, 01:31 PM
I didn't have *any* friends outside of family before I started gaming.
While I still have my black moments, it helps a lot.

INDYSTAR188
2012-07-09, 03:44 PM
Excellent story thank you for sharing and thank you for being proactive. I'm in the military and we have had a lot of suicides, in fact two of my Shipmates committed suicide. I like to think that a chance to use your imagination and step back from real life is good for everyone once in a while, especially if you can do it with friends!

Alcatraz497
2012-07-10, 12:57 AM
D&D helped me out as well. I was diagonsed with Depression in middle school (worst 3 years of my life). I had always been a loner and hermit. I went to school, went home and stayed there. In high school I started hanging out with people but my depression never left me alone. The most depressing day in my high school life was actually Prom Night. When I started college (right after high school), things were much the same but they slowing got worse. In college there wasn't any of the rigidness of grade school. no fixed times that you could set your watch to, no concistant student, no familiar teaching style (every teacher taught differently). My grades dropped, my GPA dropped, and my depression increased to a level it hadn't been since Prom or Middle School.

I went to a D&D Game Day that was hosted my a nearby game store. there I discovered Dungeons and Dragons. I was able to do things that I had only previously read in books or done in games. I was able to immerse myself in realm of fantasy and fun with other people from all walks of life. Just like in some of the MMORPGs that I had played but with more flexability. My parents at the time couldn't understand why I would want to spend money on some dumb tabletop game (not exactly my father's words but you get the idea). However, after I started gaming seriously, my grades and GPA started to go back up a little and my depression went back down. My mother saw my "transformation" (no polymorph spell was used), listened to me passionately and happily talking about it, and came to whole heartedly support me (she even bought me about several game books). She won't play it but she understands what im talking about when I discuss my games with her. My father still doesn't entirely understand it but he likes the idea of me doing something that requires me to being social, think, and to not sit infront of my computer all day (still do that but oh well).

omg I just realized how much I wrote. :smalleek: I hadn't intended on writing that but oh well. :smalltongue: Rallicus is right though sometimes escapism is a VERY good thing.

CarpeGuitarrem
2012-07-10, 02:22 AM
Awesome!

Connecting with people is one of the best ways to ensure mental health. And yet, there can be some real blocks in the way to connecting with people you barely know.

But nothing spells bonding like "Hey, you. Grab your axe; we're hunting kobolds."

<big grin>

Saintheart
2012-07-10, 07:29 AM
This is kind of like the Anti-Chick thread. And I heartily approve. :smallcool:

I am also reminded of the old tune "Last Night a DJ DM saved my life".

Jay R
2012-07-10, 09:27 AM
It's great that D&D was the tool, but don't give all the credit to a gaming system.

You and your other friends quite possibly saved his life.

HeadlessMermaid
2012-07-10, 11:59 AM
It's great that D&D was the tool, but don't give all the credit to a gaming system.

You and your other friends quite possibly saved his life.
Yes, but don't underestimate the game either. It doesn't matter if it's D&D or another RPG, but it IS important that it's a completely immersive social activity, where you get to be someone else. I confirm that this can function therapeutically - although it's still the people around the table who make all the difference. (Playing with a bunch of jerks instead would be disastrous.)

But a game of poker wouldn't be the same. While playing nothing, and just hanging about with smalltalk, might not be enough to make someone get out of his shell - in fact, if the moment is bad, it might cause even more stress.

So yes, D&D was the tool - but a very very appropriate tool. :)

Jay R
2012-07-10, 04:44 PM
So yes, D&D was the tool - but a very very appropriate tool. :)

Agreed. Nonetheless, it's important to remember that taking an interest in someone is how you help them, and to take pride in having done so.

I repeat - "You and your other friends quite possibly saved his life."

Remember it, be proud, ...

... and don't miss the next opportunity to do so.

Accordion Twome
2012-07-12, 11:15 PM
D&D was and still is a great tool in my life.
I was 9 and home schooled, still could not read because my folks believed in learning at ones own pass.
Then my dad told me about how he played D&D in college, it sounded really fun and on my next birthday he got me a players handbook.
I learned how to read on it and later I got the other books.

Without that reward over the hill I probably not have learned with that much focus and would not have words in my vocabulary like proficiency and initiative.:smallbiggrin:

Khedrac
2012-07-13, 03:56 AM
All the above is good to read but not surprising..

A many years ago when I was at university (let's put it this way, the World Wide Web hadn't been invented - the internet was email and usenet groups) someone actually did a study into teenage suicides and roleplaying.

Back then the belief that roleplaying caused suicides was pretty common.
The study showed a clear link - roleplayers were less likely to commit suicide than the average US teenager...

The kudos though has to go to the first poster who invited someone to a game when (from my reading of your post) you thought they needed friends.

Well done all.

Draz74
2012-07-13, 12:19 PM
D&D and roleplaying aren't for everyone. But for certain personalities, they offer an blend of imagination, socializing, escapism, teamwork, delicious food, risk and reward, creativity, and triumph that can truly be an amazing blessing in life.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: I've never been close to a D&D experience this dramatic personally. But I've seen many less-dramatic examples, and I believe there is great potential here.

TL;DR: This thread makes me happy.

Agent 451
2012-07-13, 03:18 PM
But nothing spells bonding like "Hey, you. Grab your axe; we're hunting kobolds."

A sentence of win within a thread full of and dedicated to win. Permission to sig?