Favorite Rod of Wonder/Deck of Many Things stories

[LordDrakulzen]

Having spread the love of my favorite author's "Wubba Wubba" story for the last 4 years, and having just lost my beloved Paladin to the chances of the Deck of Many things: I was curious to hear some stories of other players and their adventures with these to random to the extreme items.

PS: If you ever get the chance to hear "Wubba Wubba" told in person, it is amazing, if not youtube was created for a reason...

[icantsavemyself]

We have a friend in our gaming group who is the brunt of all the jokes and has the worst luck in the world. We were making characters at level 14 and each character had the option to not use the deck of many things, pull one card from the deck or pull multiple cards at the dm's die roll.

This guy decided to be the big shot and pulled multiple cards. The dm rolled a six. This guy ended up actually faring pretty well and got a lot of magical items and did really good on his wishes. On one his wishes he asked for a colossal white dragon mount. The dm did some looking in the monster manual and said that it appeared before him but it didn't look quite right. As he was making his final wish the dragon falls over and by horrible die rolls by the character and great die rolls by the dm the dragon falls flat on the character and explodes in a deadly ice storm killing the character during character creation with two more cards to draw from the deck of many things.

After that game we decided we wouldn't add the cards into our campaigns for long while.

[HunterOfJello]

One of the human PCs in one of my games got hit by a greater rod of wonder and turned purple. The PCs tried all sorts of things to remove it, but he was always purple from then on.

[killianh]

I was shrunk down to 1\12 my size trying to use one as a rogue. the good news was I was already a tiny creature so now I could actually fly into the armour of my enemies and get sneak attack damage every round. Locks? I walked in and pushed the pins myself. Everything actually became stupidly easier for me.

[Snowbluff]

I had a my VoPeace Warlock, Motte, draw from one, and she lost all of her gear... then got a 40kgp sword in return.

Meanwhile, the guy next to me got a level and 3 wishes.

[marcielle]

One sorceror in our group somehow got his hands on a Rod of Wonder at 4th level and would not stop spamming it. After a single afternoon, we ended up fighting a blue lounge rhino amid a storm of stinking butterflies while it rained jewels. The rhino unfortunately ramed our cleric into the wall, kersmooshing him, but at least we had enough jewels to pay for a funeral. After that, the warlock confiscated the rod. And used it to turn him green. The sorc player later drew up plans for a Gattling gun of Wonder, which was several Greater Rods of Wonder strapped to a multiwand chamber. We rolled a few test just to see what would happen if it were ever fired. The target was simultaneously turned to stone, blasted into space and teleported to the backyard of the god of war and suffering on the first shot.

[rollforeigninit]

My best story is quite old. Way back in 2nd ed, in fact
I was a Rakastan Wild Mage who had fallen in love with and subsequently ummmm had to marry the party's Gold Elf Bard. She, of course, was nobility and was possessed of an open-minded and accommodating father (NOT). At the wedding's hastily organized rehearsal the best elf (the ex fiancée of said Bard) graced us with his familie's Tarot Deck of Many Things. I, being a Wild Mage, was thrilled. (For anyone who doesn't know, 2nd Ed Wild Mages had a 50/50 chance of controlling a Deck.) I proceeded to gain a keep, a small army, a boost to intelligence, a level, and being entombed I'm a random location as a female Aranea (then a more playable race). The campaign took a turn for the interesting at that point. Long story short, it all got fixed but only after a stint in a Drow city as an oracle of the spider queen. We had to wish me back to Rakasta form and then finally had a use for the girdle of masculinity we had since around second level. The plot to make me into an elf instead of a Rakasta failed. ;)

[Kholai]

The only DoMT I encountered was a bit of a double whammy from our DM at the time.

When his party discovered the Deck of Many Things, my level 9 Divine Oracle gish did the only appropriate thing he could think of:

Cast Augury.

Draw One card? Weal. Two? Weal. Three? Woe.

Alright. Stop at two then.
One more question. If I draw Four cards? Weal.

1: Vizier.
2: The Throne.
3: Idiot.
4: Jester.
5: Comet.
6: The Fates.

First and best time he managed to pull off his Arcane Augury to full, spectacular, effect, he swiftly ignored the Ruin effect and got a castle all his own. Seriously the second best thing he'd pulled off with magic after using a Ray of Stupidity to take out a giant, yet fortunately thick, Troll that the DM had been hoping to use as a boss.

And then came the party rogue. A neutral evil rogue who didn't want to try the whole augury plan.

Three cards:

1: Ruin.
2: Euryale.
3: Moon. 1 Wish.

The rogue immediately wishes: "I wish none of this had ever happened."

The DM, being a kindly sort, naturally interprets this to mean "The entire campaign". Everyone ends up back where they started, having never met. End of campaign.

He did get to keep his castle though!

[Andorax]

Years back, entered a contest for the best Deck of Many Things themed entry. My offering, the Inn of Many Things, started with the tale of an adventuring party trying to prevent the Tarrasque from eating the ducal capital city. The fight went badly, as both the wizard and cleric were killed just as they managed to push Big T's hit points into the negatives. Desperate, the party's archer fired the last of his shots at it, pulled out the DoMT, and hoped for the best...managing to draw the wish card and finish off the Tarrasque before it resumed killing, and eating, just about everyone.

[LordDrakulzen]

My own personal experience with the Deck of Many Things started somewhere near my 5th or 6th gaming session... which coincided with my 3rd or 4th character... my poor halfling paladins lead such short lives.

Most recently, my group was chosen as the saviors of Good :smallcool:, well, a little planewalking leading to an epic battle of 150 angels and 330 demons later, we're clearing up after the battle. We found the Deck as treasure (I was with the DM when he rolled for it as the random artifact we found, he said then "This will derail the game").

The person who found it was our tank played by the DM, as we were all spellcasters. he rolls 2d6 to determine how many cards the NPC takes- expecting 5, nope 11. He gets a sword, keep, kills dread wraith, loses it all again, gains wishes, avoid any situation, loses intelligence (avoided that), gained XP, lost INT again, (forget what #10 was), and lastly, as we're all feeling bad about his luck... He gets imprisoned.

Next contestant.... ( us being the greedy ones, we think he took a nap or something) learn answer (asked where the first guys soul was), get treasure, gain XP. not too bad.

Up next me- (background LG Paladin/Favored Soul)
1. Balance- Alignment shifted to CE
2. Gain weapon- Luck blade (stolen by guy #2 btw)
3. Ruin- lose all equipment, including the 50,000 gp i had picked up in previous battle looting.

(after a few attempts at imploding my party my character is now an NPC.)

Person #4- Enmity from outsider (randomly rolled as Demogorgon...yeah she's been freaking out for 3 weeks about this)
gain 4th level fighter... who appeared and has since been forgotten about.

So, as it stands. Lost 1 PC to imprisonment, 1 PC to evil in good campaign, have new thread for story where Prince of Demons hates one of our members... The DM was right, this did derail the campaign... I love it so much!

[Psyren]

I don't have a story - just wanted to point out that if you like the Rod, take the Wild Mage PrC from CArc for a spin.

[AntiTrust]

Players used it in a LG farming town, got dreadwraiths, the commoners tried to help the man beset by ghosts, the town was quickly overcome with dreadwraiths. The LG town was now a ghost town and was to be avoided along the trade route at all costs. The PC's threw the deck in a rushing river.

[Doorhandle]

I think there was a story or two in the funny stories thread inolving the use of a deck of many things as a throwing device, and an undead clown creature that could do so...

[Zubrowka74]

Back in 2e days I happened to own a full tarot deck with a medieval theme. I figured that instead of just using a few cards I might as well use the whole deck, so I stated ou a "greater" deck of many things. The numeral minor arcanas were mundane effects, the figures were medium and the major arcannas were the original cards. Of course the effects were grouped along the suits : sword (fire), club (earth), cup (water) and coin (air).

Unfortunately I never got to use it.

[Malak'ai]

Back in 2e days I happened to own a full tarot deck with a medieval theme. I figured that instead of just using a few cards I might as well use the whole deck, so I stated ou a "greater" deck of many things. The numeral minor arcanas were mundane effects, the figures were medium and the major arcannas were the original cards. Of course the effects were grouped along the suits : sword (fire), club (earth), cup (water) and coin (air).

Unfortunately I never got to use it.

Even though I don't remember much of the old 2e days (only just got into D&D about a 6 months to a year before 3.0 came out), that would have been awesome! Certainly way more interesting than using just a normal, plan deck of cards.
Possibly re-do it for 3.5 if you ever get the chance, I know I would use it if I ran a higher level game.

[LordotheMorning]

Gather 'round y'all. I've quite a tale to tell. I'm sure it's got some rule inconsistencies, and I'm pretty sure I'll have to revive this thread just to post this (I wrote it over the course of a few days), but here it is.

It all started when our DM introduced a group of Card-Master type NPCs. They would throw cards at us which would have random magical effects. He decided beforehand that the leader had 2% chance of dropping a Deck of Many Things. Guess what? He rolled it.

At the time, I was playing a Halfling Master Thrower by the name of Katarin, a character who will always have a special place in my heart. Katarin was a no-nonsense Lawful Neutral military officer from Yllarum, a desert city with a booming economy (this was a homebrew setting, by the way). Also in the party was Gully Teach, a vagabond deadpan snarking Human Swashbuckler/Dread Pirate whose biggest goal in life (as far as I could tell) was to finally obtain his own ship and crew and be a famous scourge of the seas. Gully and Katarin are the two most important characters in this story, and in general they were the two highest respected in the group. There was also Throng, The Half-Orc Barbarian, Lloyd, The Human Duskblade, and Marris, The Human Ranger. There was an Assassin too, but I don't remember his name and he didn't have too much of an influence on the story.

My tale begins when party was roughly level 6 or 7. We had just successfully managed to stop a war from starting between humans and dwarves, and we were on our way to explain the situation to the Dwarven king in the city of Gundermount. Gully had attempted to buy a ship at a human port town along the way, but he got himself gypped out of his money buy a couple of less-than-savory types. In our effort to recover the stolen gold, we ran into the aforementioned card-throwing gnomes with Brooklyn accents.

It ended up being an easy fight. After mopping them up, I looted one of the bodies and found a deck of cards in a box, upon which was written something to the effect of "The Fate of Us All" in Gnomish. I didn't think that much of it because I had never encountered or read about a Deck of Many Things, neither in nor out of character, so I simply put it in my bag to inspect later. Once we'd all settled down for the night however, Gully Teach saw Katarin handling the deck and flips his stack. Apparently he knows what it is.

After choking out a quick explanation of how major the find was, he begs to be the first one to draw from it. We concede. Gully draws three cards. I don't recall what the later two were (they were something minor like getting a few thousand gp in gems), but the first card Gully drew was the Moon. He got four wishes. He wished for one million gold, to be famous, to be more dextrous, and for "a ship that cannot be pierced by any means". He ended rolling a reflex save to avoid getting crushed by the gold, but he got it. He got a +4 racial bonus to dex, but he also grew a monkey tail. He also got an adamantine Ironclad ship, and everyone knew his name.

Then Katarin (me) draws. Not really liking to take chances, he goes for only one card. He draws the Star, and gets himself a +2 to dex. Throng and Lloyd weren't there at that point and time (their players were gone and their characters were doing something else), leaving only Marris. She drew the card that summoned a CR 17-something dread wraith. It looked as though our luck had run out at this point, but Marris had been holding on to a modified version of an Arrow of Slaying for the past three levels. It just so happened that Marris had a deep running hatred for the undead, so naturally her arrow was attuned to destroy them. It also just so happened that the wraith had an abysmal fort save, so she killed it in one shot. The DM rewarded her with enough experience to boost her (and even Gully and I for some reason) up a level.

So far everything about this situation had been one-in-a-million, but it gets even worse. The DM had ruled that instead of only being allowed to draw once from the Deck, he would allow us to draw once per week. This eventually proved to be more of a curse than a boon. Our DM's policy when it comes to wishes was that he'll let you get away with a lot, but he'll also screw with the wish if you ask for too much. It was dangerous business. But Gully hadn't had enough.

We ended up having to find someone to teleport us the rest of the way to Gundermount, because we didn't have the crew or knowledge to actually pilot the ironclad. Upon reaching the Dwarven city, our party went on a MASSIVE shopping spree. The power-scale of the game had skyrocketed ridiculously. Throng rejoined us and drew from the Deck. I had been joking for the past week that when Throng drew, he would die, due to the fact that he was at times ridiculously unlucky and it often put him in ridiculous situations (in and out of character).

Sure enough, he drew the Void. Throng was gone, just like that.

A week went by as we took a rest, and as the dwarves celebrated the news that there would be no war. Gully eagerly drew from the deck again as soon as possible. The rest of the party abstained for the time being. I had all but made up my mind to never draw again after what happened to Throng. Luck smiled on Gully Teach, however, because right then and there he drew another Moon, this time with two wishes. Gully wishes for his ship to be capable of flight and underwater submersion (a suggestion I had made earlier in the week), and also wishes for "the ability to regenerate from any wound" (by which he meant Fast Healing). This is when the DM struck first. Gully was transformed into some sort of small-sized sea nymph in a glass bowl, who had Fast Healing 40, but he also couldn't survive outside of the water in the bowl. Gully was nonplussed.

So it got even messier. Gully sought out the most powerful wizard in the Dwarven city, and paid a ridiculous sum of gold for a casting of Wish. He wished to go back in time to the point right before he'd made the wish that had turned him into what was effectively a goldfish. He then changed his previous wish to a wish for a powerful and loyal crew that was capable of expertly piloting his ship. Thus, he was no longer a sea creature, and he now had a crew.

We hadn't actually gone back to the ship since Gully had made those wishes, but when we did, we found a group of 20 blue large size lizard-like creatures bustling about the ship, performing maintenance and other such tasks. Upon seeing our swashbuckling party member, they all abruptly came to attention. They all shouted simultaneously, "HAIL GULLY TEACH! THE BATTLE-TITAN BRIGADE IS AT YOUR SERVICE."

It was at about this time that the game could truly be said to have become ridiculous. It was also about the time where Katarin lost his place as highest authority in the party and the campaign became more about pursuing the wild whims of Gully Teach, the eccentric millionaire pirate in his flying submarine of a ship.

I don't know why or how they called themselves the Battle-Titan Brigade, why they were lizards, or why they could speak. I figured it was a reference that I still have yet to discover the source of. But nevertheless, these lizards were impeccably loyal to Gully, and the manned the ship expertly, not to mention they were handy in a fight. They also appeared to share some sort of hivemind. Suffice to say, they were odd.

Upon starting up the engines, we found that the ship had a pathetic speed of 20 ft. Irritated, Gully went back into town, purchased another wish, went back in time again, and modified his wish such that it would allow for his ship to be faster. When Gully returned to his ship this time, the Battle-Titan Brigade was still there, but the ironclad had become an animatronic Gargantuan Blue Wyrm, another one of the DM's twists, perhaps based off something in the way he had worded the wish. It could fly and swim at 120 ft. speed however, so Gully didn't seem to mind.

Also at about this time, Lloyd the Duskblade rejoined us and we offered him a shot at the Deck. He cautiously accepted, and recieved a Sunblade and his own private castle appeared on a deserted island (which he inherently knew the location of). The party decided to check it out. So finally, with at least half of the million gold spent, we set a course for that island. That's when are troubles began in earnest.

We were flying over the ocean, when an Old (28 HD) Red Dragon came soaring in from out of nowhere, roaring with rage. Keep in mind, we were level 7. We pretty much panicked as Gully ordered to submerge the ship, and we dove a hundred or so feet underwater (it's maximum depth wasn't very impressive). This waylaid the red dragon for a moment, though it was obviously after the ship for some reason.
"GULLY TEACH!" The dragon roared loud enough to make us roll fort saves vs deafness. "YOU STEAL FROM MY HOARD AND NOW YOU'VE USED MY GOLD TO CONSTRUCT THAT?" He was referring to the Blue Wyrm Ship. Red dragons don't like blue dragons. Unforunately it didn't have the stats of an actual Blue Wyrm, and it indignantly told us so when we asked if it could fight the dragon.

The realization hit us like a ton of bricks. That million gold had come from this dragon's hoard. Gully's famousness wish had made it so that everyone knew his name and what he was doing. Putting 2 and 2 together, it meant that we were completely trapped. To make matters even worse, the fact that the ship was now a construct that looked like a blue dragon made it look as though Gully was mocking the red dragon. It followed us from above the surface of the water wherever we went, demanding that we resurface and face its wrath. Desperately, we all looked to the Deck. Gully had already drawn this week, but three of the party members had not. Maybe, just maybe one of us could draw the Moon or some other card that would help us escape this situation.

This was when the deck really started to screw with us. Marris drew and had her alignment changed to Lawful Neutral. The assassin (whose name I don't recall) drew and received a level 4 fighter cohort, who he then instructed to keep drawing from the deck until he got the moon. He only got three cards in before drawing the Void and dying. He did, however, get a Luckblade, which just so happened to have zero wishes still in it. Lloyd drew and also got a cohort, to which he gave the same command. He drew some sort of magical item, followed by the Queen of Pentacles (destroy all magic items), followed then by yet another Void. Katarin had to make a choice at this point. He felt no real responsibility for this situation, despite the fact that he had used some of Gully's gold. Katarin had barely agreed to draw one card at the beginning, and after seeing Throng die, he had all but sworn off it. He knew that repeated drawing could bring great benefit, but he also saw that the law of averages said that one day it would kill him. Katarin also had a Cloak of the Manta Ray on hand, so while none of the other characters could escape underwater, he could easily just step outside, become a manta ray, and get away from whole situation, and he was dangerously close to doing so. But here was the whole party begging him to draw at least one more card. The dragon above had started to bombard the ship with spells. Cursing his luck, he drew a card.

Queen of Pentacles. Lose all magical items.

I was so mad I got up out of my seat and start yelling at this point. This was the one other card besides the Void that I knew of that could completely screw me over. Katarin had lost his escape route, and since a Master Thrower is somewhat dependent on returning daggers, he had lost a lot of his combat effectiveness too.

While this had been going on, we'd been continuing our flight to the island stronghold that Lloyd had received from the deck. We had arrived near the shore, but we were unable to surface because it would mean exposing ourselves to the dragon. There was only one thing to do: Offer the Deck of the Many things to the dragon in return for a truce.

The dragon hastily accepted. He probably could have simply taken the deck and then killed us, but he must have been too enthralled by the deck or too prideful to go back on his word. When we emerged onto the shore and got out to give him the deck, he simply took it and drew 5 cards immediately. He drew a joker and some other cards, but only two were important: The Moon and the Queen of Pentacles.

The dragon made three wishes on the Moon, but we didn't know what they were. We were hastily trying to leave at this point. An affect of one of the wishes he made, however, was to turn the blue wyrm ship back into it's adamantine ironclad form. It could reach 85 ft. speed, however it took 4 or 5 rounds to get there from 20. As we had all retreated back onto the ship and begun to sail away, we heard a roar of complete and utter outrage, bemoaning the loss of his hoard. He must of been disoriented by his despair, because he didn't think to chase after us once we were out of sight.

We made our way to Yllarum, Katarin's home city. After that the campaign seemed to regain a smidgen of normalcy. Gully bought one more wish in order to reverse the effect the Queen of Pentacles had had on me. Gully christens his ship "The Monkey's Paw", now that it was a proper ship again. We felt pretty good. We'd managed to escape the dragon, keep the gold, and live to campaign another day.

Some time later, after taking care of our business in Yllarum, we decide to make for the southern continent. Lloyd, the owner of the castle on the island, asks if we can make a slight detour to fully inspect it, seeing as how we never got the chance during the dragon mess. It was only a little out of the way, so we agree.

Flying overhead upon our arrival however, we see that same bloody red dragon resting in the courtyard of the castle. He had chosen quite the vengeful spot on which to start building his new horde.

Now this is where it becomes crucially important that the ship had been changed back to its old ironclad form by one of the dragon's wishes. Upon seeing our ship, the dragon roars angrily and gets up to attack. Seeing as how the ship didn't have the speed to outrun a dragon, the only option was to stand and fight.

Gully's player had been looking into Stomwrack's sections on naval combat, and therefore knew that the ship could ram for 11d6 damage. So, without any ado, that's exactly what Gully begins to do. Whilst commanding the Battle-Titan Brigade to man and fire-at-will with what ballistae the ship had (two), he repeatedly attempts to ram the dragon. Sometimes, he lacked the maneuverability to do so, and the ship needed to build full speed to do it's full damage (which would be X8 at max speed). Building up speed required he only turn by one diagonal square per round, and this fight just wouldn't allow him to do that as he had to keep swerving in order to hit the dragon. While it seemed to be working fairly well, the dragon was also dealing major damage to the ship, and even if we did gain the advantage, he could always retreat and be back to harry us again some day (probably soon). Thankfully, the ship's adamantine composition prevented us from going down like yesterday's leftover barbecue. It could even bypass the dragon's DR, seeing as how the ship was considered magical, but it still wasn't an easy fight.

Gully, Katarin, and Lloyd happened to be the only ones in the ship at this point in time. This errand in the southern continent wasn't supposed to take long. So there we were, 3 level 8 characters and a bunch of cohorts taking on a CR 20 encounter. Our most potent spellcaster had three levels in Duskblade, so you can be damn sure we didn't have access to Shivering Touch. Lloyd is struggling to find a way to be useful. He manages to nick the dragon with a Shocking Grasp through one of the portholes once, but he promptly got caught in the dragon's breath attack (which the DM ruled only would hit each 5-foot square adjacent to the portholes if the breath attack came parallel to them), taking 128 and dying instantly. Katarin happened to have a Revivify scroll on him and a handy high roll on his UMD check, which brought him back, but he was out for the fight for sure.

Meanwhile, Katarin was built to excel at ranged combat. The dragon's AC was too high for me to hit on anything but a very favorable roll, but my DM said he would allow me to shoot for his eyes, which had a much lower AC despite being smaller. At first, he attempted to time his attacks with the cooldown of the breath weapon, having to dodge in and out and waste several turns making sure not to get hit (and also to save Lloyd), but then he had the idea to mount one of the Battle-Titan Brigade members, with Gully's permission, and instructed it to take cover from the window if he should see an incoming breath attack.

The dragon then feels the sting of Katarin's full attack: Six thrown daggers per round, each dealing 14-16 damage for about 90 damage if all of them hit their mark (which, with the range increment penalties, didn't always happen). Over the course of several rounds, I manage to fully blind one of his eyes, and deal significant damage to the other.

The dragon doesn't like this at all, so he changes his tactics, attempted to kite us with spells and breath weapons. Unfortunately for him, this gave Gully the opportunity to do just what he had wanted with his ram attacks. Shuddering with anticipation, he calls for a full steam ahead.

The range increments were getting even tougher, but Katarin finally managed to blind the other eye just before Gully hit maximum speed. The dragon, who had managed to get about 1-2 hundred feet away from us, conjures up a Wall of Fire, and begins channeling a Pyro Burst (the DM has a soft-spot for that spell), which I only know because I took a cross-class rank in Spellcraft, had a high int, and rolled high enough. Gully commands for the ship to dive as quickly as possible while still remaining full speed. We managed to get underwater just before the dragon laughs and says "You fell into my trap!" and releases the Channeled Pyroburst, which completely misses, seeing as how he is now blind and we are also beyond the range of his blindsense.

The round after, we came careening back out of the water at full speed, flying directly at him. I start playing "Libera Me from Hell" from my laptop because it seemed appropriate. The ram connects, dealing a full its 88d6 damage. The DM informs us that we ram into the dragon, spinning like a drill, we pierce it's chest and come out the other side, having impaled its heart, taking it to -200 hp. "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE?"

In the aftermath, we dragged the dragon's lifeless body back to the beach, where we later sold it's body to a specialist who worked with dragon parts. The ship had taken 85,000 gold worth of damages, which Gully paid in full to repair. I'm fairly certain we also leveled up again.

Lloyd and I later encountered the Deck of Many Things sitting innocently on the sandy beach, presumably where the dragon had dropped it in his delirious rage. We simply passed by it without saying anything. We'd been damn lucky. It'd happened before in this campaign, and it would happen again, but the important thing was to acknowledge the fact that it was, in fact, luck. I don't believe Gully Teach saw the Deck lying there, because if he had, he might very well have kept drawing until the Deck really did manage to kill him. I might have buried it, though I honestly don't remember. What I do know is that after all we'd been through, Lloyd and I had decided the Deck was certainly not worth the risk.

The real kicker is that some months later, we begin adventure to stop a bunch of time-traveling black dragons from destroying the earth. They claimed that an ancestor of Gully Teach would eventually unravel time, and that the only way to stop it was to tear out our world's magical lay-lines (thus destroying it). Of course, Gully Teach had since died in a particularly nasty encounter with Rakshasa and denied resurrection, leaving poor ol' Katarin and Co. to deal with it. Apparently something about Gully wishing to go back in time over and over again had sparked the DM's imagination in a pretty horrible way.

So that's what happened. Because of a Deck of Many Things, we broke the power-scaling of our game, accidentally pissed off a dragon, fought and killed said dragon in a flying adamantine submarine, and then created a tear in the space-time continuum, all without meaning to and at level 6-8.

[SamBurke]

Good sir. That is the most epic thing I have ever read.

I think it only lacks a Dramatic Song. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WteF0j5gYGk)

[Zale]

The sorc player later drew up plans for a Gattling gun of Wonder, which was several Greater Rods of Wonder strapped to a multiwand chamber. We rolled a few test just to see what would happen if it were ever fired. The target was simultaneously turned to stone, blasted into space and teleported to the backyard of the god of war and suffering on the first shot.


http://www.myremoteradio.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/shut-up-and-take-my-money1.jpg

[juicycaboose]

That is the best thing I've read so far on these forums lordothemorning
i applaud thee

[Ianuagonde]

Two stories with the same deck:

The party was level 10 at the time, and we found a Deck. After a lot of talking, each player decided for himself what to do. Our half-orc barbarian decided to draw a card and got the Key: gain a major magic weapon. A lot of rolls on the random items tables later and he got a brand-new greatsword, engraved with runes, humming with power and sharp enough to shave the eyebrows of a pixie. A long, loud roar of triumph resounded, and she decided "I want more!". The advice from the more careful players was, of course, ignored, and she got Talons: lose all magic items.

The rogue had a better idea. We recently cleaned out a keep of hobgoblins, who used a goblin as a manservant. During the fight, we ignored it, since its first action was to go hide under a table, trying to squeeze in an empty jar. Our rogue found this highly amusing, and after the half-orc told the creature what would happen if it tried anything treacherous (being covered in hobgoblin blood apparently gives a bonus on Intimidate) she diplomanced it into obedience. After a few weeks of regular meals and complete lack of whippings, he became our mascot.
She let her faithful minion draw a card: it showed a Throne, but there was no visible result. A few weeks later, a messenger appeared. The eccentric lord Fiddlesworth had passed away. He had left his wealth to a cat asylum, his chamberpot collection to squirrel sanctuary, and his keep to the nearest goblin that magic could find. Our goblin mascot now owned a keep.

[Wonton]

Well, the Penny Arcade (http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2010/6/28/) one is pretty good. :smallwink:

There's some good ones in my previous thread here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=158037), as well.

P.S. Lordothemorning, that was the best story I've read in a long time. I don't normally do this, but you deserve a huge round of applause (http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/attachment.php?attachmentid=476427&d=1341096136).

[LordotheMorning]

I'm pleasantly surprised you guys actually read the whole thing through. It was kinda long.

[Psyren]

Because of a Deck of Many Things, we broke the power-scaling of our game, accidentally pissed off a dragon, fought and killed said dragon in a flying adamantine submarine, and then created a tear in the space-time continuum, all without meaning to and at level 6-8.

I've never seen the best reasons to both use and immediately burn a DoMT summed up in one sentence before.

Anyway, kudos on a great read and glad it worked out for your group!

[Flame of Anor]

I'm pleasantly surprised you guys actually read the whole thing through. It was kinda long.

It was also kinda the best thing I've ever read on these forums.

[Manly Man]

Strangely enough, I've had more fun with the Bag of Beans from 1e than the Rod of Wonder or Deck of Many Things. Probably because you could make them explode.

[Doorhandle]

I've never seen the best reasons to both use and immediately burn a DoMT summed up in one sentence before.

Anyway, kudos on a great read and glad it worked out for your group!

...Y'know, it would probably be best if you used a deck of many things to START a campaign, rather than derailing it in the middle. :smallbiggrin:

Would certainly be the kick up the arse needed for a sandbox campaign.

[LordotheMorning]

Would certainly be the kick up the arse needed for a sandbox campaign.

Yeah, pretty much. Our DM was kind of sandboxy, even though we as players weren't.

[GlorinSteampike]

Bump of Justice for LordoftheMorning's story. Sounds like your DM uses Rule of cool more than anything. Made for a very epic story.

[panaikhan]

Back when it was still a Wand of Wonder, one party I was DM for went through all of it's charges, suffering lots of hilarity and calamity on the way, trying to get a specific result - they needed fresh Rhino urine (don't ask).
They didn't actually get that roll after going through all 50 charges, but as things would not progress unless they did, I handwaved the last charge to do what they needed (more or less - it actually changed a party member into a rhino instead of summoning one, so they needed to find a way to change him back).

As for the deck, I am always the one in our group who will try my luck with it, and the rest of the group know it :smallbiggrin: For that reason, the Deck almost never turns up.

[Amoren]

I'm going to make an obligatory link to Spoony One's story (http://spoonyexperiment.com/2011/10/20/counter-monkey-vegan-steve-and-the-djinni-of-jengai-fomogo/) about the Deck of Many Things... Which I'm hoping isn't against the rules of this site. O.o (It's at least game related!)

Edit: Warning for a few curses here and there.
Edit: Warning for crude and course language.

[Uhtred]

I was in a campaign once where a half-celestial aasimar Arcane Heirophant found a Rod of Wonder with all its charges. Because of all of his LA, and because he was multiclassed as a Wizard-Druid, he wasn't a very impressive spellcaster at level 12, and so resolved to use the Rod of Wonder as his main-line combat weapon. Granted, he had no idea that the DM had added a special extra power to the Rod, namely the effect of a Girdle of Gender Change, activated, specifically, on a roll of 69%. No more, no less. The party's Harsaff archer managed to get on his bad side, so the indignant half-celestial directs the Rod at him. Lightning bolt, 38 damage. Then began a Looney Tunes-esque fight in which the two repeatedly wrestled the Rod away from one another and firing it at the other until my Centaur, the party leader, was informed of the situation by hysterical townsfolk. When he found them, they were near dead, sopping wet, covered in butterflies, surrounded by grass, and both of them were ladies, STILL fighting over the Rod. He and the party's Minotaur Barbarian wrestled the two apart, confiscated the Rod, and threw both indignant women into the nearby lake, retreating to the tavern for a pint. The aasimar, her charisma now boosted by two because, in her gender change, our DM had had him roll a d4 to determine cup size, had rolled a 4 (D-cups.) approached my Centaur and convinced him to return the Rod, which she promptly turned on the Harsaff, who had followed her into the bar. Fireball. Harsaffs are immune to fire. Taverns are not. My Centaur sighed, pulled out his Decanter of Endless Water and put out the fire, rolled to re-confiscate the rod, knocked out both the aasimar and the Harsaff with unarmed attacks, and settled back down at the bar. The grateful bartender looked at my Centaur and told him he could have whatever, on what was left of the house. It was established that my Centaur had a sweet tooth, so he ordered cake. All the cake. The bartender reached under the bar, pulled out a massive fudge cake, a big fork for the Centaur, a small fork for himself, and the session ended with the Centaur and the bartender sitting in the charred, soaked ruins of the tavern, two unconscious gender-switched party members lying on the ground, eating cake in silence. It was one of our sillier sessions, but one I'll always remember. :)