Bad Players: Things Your Players Try to Get Away With [Archive]

Tim Proctor

2012-07-19, 01:40 PM

Okay so I want this to be about the most absurd things your players have tried to get away with, here is one of the most memorable that my players tried.

My Favorite:
Starting at lvl 10: His build goes:
Wizard Specialist Necromancy lvl 5, grabs Signature Spell so he can spontaneously cast some spells. Level 6-10 attempts to take Ultimate Magus counting his prepared and spontaneous casting class as Wizard (because the feat made him able to spontaneously cast with wizard spells), so in effect he is casting spells as a lvl 13 Wizard.

I explained to him that the Wizard class didn't change to a spontaneous arcane casting class, he just got some of the abilities so it wouldn't work. He qualified for the class but didn't get the bonus from it.

2nd Favorite:

Same guy BTW, same campaign actually, attempted to use the Incarnate Construct (LA -2) Captured One (MM2 204) loop on his Warforged Character an infinite number of times for infinite skills, BAB, saves, gear, spells, etc.

I did tell them that I was fine with LA usage but I wasn't expecting him to use it like that. I had to nix that.

Kadarai

2012-07-19, 02:30 PM

I once had a character at a late point of a campaign trying to convince me he had found a 3rd lvl cleric spell that creates a ball of negative energy taht sticks to a target and bestows 3d6 negative lvls to its per round and then moves on to other targets.

Same guy insist that his Shadowlord of Telfhamat wizard/rogue with the abrupt joint ability from PH2 can make a full attack as an immediate action, when he uses said ability, catching his target flat-footed

Also same guy, tried to create a custom spell of 5th lvl that transforms u into a phoenix based on negative/necromantic energies instead of fire, granting u the resurrection from the ashes ability, granting you 150HP on transformation (as per the Aspect of the Platinum Dragon spell) and lettign you keep your spell casting while shapeshifted.

4th example of the same guy: lvl1 warforged barbarian with+20 hp (35total)cause he is a medium construct and gets bonus hp, while the living construct template specifically states otherwise

could actually keep going:D

Karoht

2012-07-19, 05:34 PM

1
Starcraft II campaign, using D20 modern.
I laid out the playable classes for everyone, (Marine, Firebat, Medic, Marauder, Reaper, Ghost, Zealot, High Templar, Dark Templar) and during character creation one of the players claims at the top of his lungs that he's going to be a Siege Tank. Not drive one. Not play a normal character and take the feats to pilot/gun one if need be. Nope. He was going to be a Siege Tank.

2
Players who insist on rolling dice to determine their starting stats when it's point buy.

2a
Players who are insulted when you request that the roll dice in front of you when they insist on rolling dice to determine their starting stats, because just about every character they ever play mysteriously starts out with 4 18's and no stat below 14.

2b
Players who don't roll on the table and call out "Nat 20", and insist on rolling behind a book because it is 'the lucky dice rolling book'

2c
Players who don't get it when you are all but flat out telling them that you know they are cheating. :smallconfused:

Darrin

2012-07-19, 07:22 PM

Same guy insist that his Shadowlord of Telfhamat wizard/rogue with the abrupt joint ability from PH2 can make a full attack as an immediate action, when he uses said ability, catching his target flat-footed

What an interesting ability... I could certainly see how that might speed things up, not having to wait to roll up a doobie...

(And yeah, it's a [teleport] effect, so Telflammar Shadowlords can actually do that, get a full attack, and if their opponent hasn't acted yet in the round, they'd still be flat-footed. But Shadow Pounce itself doesn't render them flat-footed.)

That_guy_there

2012-07-19, 08:52 PM

In a game i was playing in (not running) a player went with his typical "sneaky ranged rogue" with a twist. He took the master thrower route and beefed up his weapon of choice: shirukens. He slapped A
+1 on them and made them returning. Then he added collision, acid, & fire. Then he made them Adamantine... And then argued he had a stack of 50 indestructible, exploding shirukens that he could sneak attack with dealing his massive Sneak Damage too. Then he convinced the DM that since they were adamantine they weren't destroyed like normal ammo.
(Despite my pointing out that the RULES explicitedly says that they're destroyed)

Same guy uses Dragon Magazine as his primary source. But doesn't let others use them unless we specifically tell him why (He's the only one who has Dragon Mags)

Zale

2012-07-19, 09:17 PM

What's with these threads lately?

Bad Players! Bad DMs! Bad Pizza Delivery Men!

shadow_archmagi

2012-07-19, 09:21 PM

I players who read about things on the internet, forget half the details, and then try to bring it up later on.

"I throw him into the sun and then he comes back! That's a thing warblades can do, right? There was a guy who threw his opponents into each other and then into the sun because he treated them as ammunition!" (ON CLOSER INSPECTION: There's an epic level feat that lets you ignore range increments, and Bloodstorm Blade lets you treat weapons as throwing and returning weapons, and Hulking Hurler lets you throw anything. The player was none of these things.)

"Crusaders are broken because they have an ability at level six that literally just says that they can't be killed." (ON CLOSER INSPECTION: There's a stance that lets you make a save vs damage to go to 1 hp instead of dying, and it only works three times before it automatically ends so you're vulnerable until your next turn, and it doesn't protect against anything but damage.)

I mean, ugh. I don't want to be a rules lawyer, but they kinda force it on me.

Lord Tyger

2012-07-19, 09:23 PM

What's with these threads lately?

Bad Players! Bad DMs! Bad Pizza Delivery Men!

This one time, the pizza guy showed up during a session, and he punched out my truck, chokeslammed the DM and had sex with everyone atop a T-rex fleeing a volcano. Bad Pizza Guy or Best Pizza Guy? You be the judge.

That_guy_there

2012-07-19, 09:23 PM

What's with these threads lately?

Bad Players! Bad DMs! Bad Pizza Delivery Men!

Hey! Bad Pizza Delivery men can ruin a night just as much as any munchkin spamming Min-maxer!

Amphetryon

2012-07-19, 10:01 PM

I had some players once who actually ran to the internet to complain about the game, rather than trying to talk with me rationally either during or after the session. Can you imagine?

grarrrg

2012-07-19, 10:01 PM

This one time, the pizza guy showed up during a session, and he punched out my truck, chokeslammed the DM and had sex with everyone atop a T-rex fleeing a volcano. Bad Pizza Guy or Best Pizza Guy? You be the judge.

Bad or Best?
That depends on a few factors:
When he showed up was it "on time" from when you ordered the Pizza? Late/Early?
How much is your Truck worth? How much damage was done?
Were YOU the DM? If not, do you like the DM?
Would you otherwise want to have sex with him?

As for the T-Rex and the Volcano, you got me there.

Marlowe

2012-07-19, 10:38 PM

Players that ACTUALLY want to play the game by the rules, using the classes and class abilities contained therein, instead of going along with my arbitrary and insane houserules, nerfs and limitations. I mean, really. It's got to stop.

Ninja PieKing

2012-07-19, 10:48 PM

Does stuff that was actually in character count. If it does I almost summoned a being similar to Cthulhu to try and kill a god.

Karoht

2012-07-19, 10:55 PM

I had some players once who actually ran to the internet to complain about the game, rather than trying to talk with me rationally either during or after the session. Can you imagine?

I'll be honest, when my DM is being a jerk (no implication towards you of course, or my current DM's) I find 'talking about it rationally' during the session tends not to work or is even more disruptive than just ignoring it and moving on. As for discussing it after the session, well, sometimes I'm still trying to metabolize the angry chemicals, so the making with the words part sometimes doesn't work after the session.

It usually goes Internet discussion followed by croudsourced suggestions of what to do (bribe the DM, deal with the DM, hit the DM with a book, DM myself, etc), followed by a discussion with the DM later. This assumes that all things go according to plan, and I have opportunity to discuss with the DM between sessions, preferably without the entire group around so as to not put the DM on the spot.

But when players just complain on the internet and don't actually do anything constructive about the issue until it festers into something bigger? Yeah, problem. Totally concur.

nedz

2012-07-19, 10:57 PM

Same player:
Plane Shift without the 500 mile error
Break Enchantment cast as a standard action (normally 10 rounds)
Wall of Force in a hemisphere

Menteith

2012-07-19, 10:59 PM

I think the worst thing I've had to deal with is someone trying to dedicate themselves to an Elder Evil for the bonus Vile Feats (in an Evil campaign) without clearing it with me first. We cleared it up without a problem, after I explained most people who'd dedicate themselves to an Elder Evil aren't player character material, even in an Evil game, although he's now got me to promise him a campaign where the PCs can be the cult of the Worm that Walks, someday.

ThiagoMartell

2012-07-19, 11:47 PM

Kelb_Panthera

2012-07-19, 11:57 PM

You're my new favorite person in the playground, Amph.
He was already pretty high on my list for being the ICOC chairman.

Lord Tyger

2012-07-20, 12:15 AM

Bad or Best?
That depends on a few factors:
When he showed up was it "on time" from when you ordered the Pizza? Late/Early?

About a day early (or a year late- the DM swore that he had placed that exact order a year to the day previously, but he was kind of delirious from the choke-slamming.

How much is your Truck worth? How much damage was done?

It had a hell of cab-ache the next morning, and the speedometer now only displays in Viking Runes. So, I guess a little?

Were YOU the DM?

I didn't believe so at the time, but recently certain astrological phenomenon have led me to believe he may be my future self, returned to guide me into the next stage of my life cycle.

Would you otherwise want to have sex with him?

It's hard to say. The uniform was pretty damn fetching.

As for the T-Rex and the Volcano, you got me there.

He had us there too. :smallwink:

Khedrac

2012-07-20, 04:03 AM

Same player:
Plane Shift without the 500 mile error
Break Enchantment cast as a standard action (normally 10 rounds)
Wall of Force in a hemisphere
To give him the benefit of the doubt:
1. yes bad - probably forgot to look it up to check details.
2. ditto - but it is the sort of thing one should note on spells memorised lists
3. That's 3.0 - saved my butt a number of times. Which suggests the player is very experienced but occasionly forgets some of the changes. (That one surprised me when I found out it had been removed - I don't think the DM knew either!)

Slipperychicken

2012-07-20, 11:07 AM

I had some players once who actually ran to the internet to complain about the game, rather than trying to talk with me rationally either during or after the session. Can you imagine?

I usually go to the internet after the DM laughs at my objections then boasts about how he gets off on messing with people, and when I'm already considering quitting the game. also for validation of my concerns..

I find that complaining about my DM gives a lighter prison sentence than turning his stupid face into hamburger-meat.

Kavurcen

2012-07-21, 12:42 AM

grarrrg

2012-07-21, 12:54 AM

I don't see an issue.

I don't either.
Reminds me of the Psionic Sandwich (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=109072) trick.

Lonely Tylenol

2012-07-21, 07:21 AM

I don't either.
Reminds me of the Psionic Sandwich (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=109072) trick.

Which makes me want to play a tire. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6G5pyFhmAqE)

shadow_archmagi

2012-07-21, 01:19 PM

I had some players once who actually ran to the internet to complain about the game, rather than trying to talk with me rationally either during or after the session. Can you imagine?

It can often be extremely beneficial to receive an outside viewpoint, and the internet can often provide clarification on rules (although this board's obsession with pedantry regarding RAW can, admittedly, often lead it to push away from coherency rather than towards) that might otherwise be hidden away between bits of fluff text or separated by whole books.

Say, for example, a player says "My DM expects everyone but him to chip in for pizza and beer, because he says DMing is time consuming!" Talking about it with his DM might not go far to mollifying him, but if he gets a pile of responses from neutral third parties that say things like "Yeah, that's legit. I spend an average of eight hours working on each session over the course of the week- That means you're only paying me like, fifty cents to a dollar an hour to build whole worlds for you" then that'll go a long way towards mollifying him. Of course, there's also the counterargument where if worldbuilding and character development aren't legitimately fun leisure activities in their own right, maybe the DM chair is not for you.

Averis Vol

2012-07-21, 04:02 PM

Roguenewb

2012-07-21, 06:54 PM

I used to play a guy named Mage (Pronounced MAAAHG). Mage is an Orc. A very stupid Orc. Mage's shtick is that Mage believes Mage is a Wizard (he isn't). I ruined so many serious sessions with "MAKE WHOLE" *slams sword through chest of bad guy*.

One day Mage gained a level. What did Mage take? Mage took Cloistered Cleric w/ magic domain. Now Mage could use wands. Mage now insisted he was an Archmage/Artificer. I ruined all the stuff. I was a bad player.

Slipperychicken

2012-07-21, 10:34 PM

Esprit15

2012-07-21, 10:43 PM

Dumbest thing that myself and some other players tried and failed to get away with in PTTA:

Two of us go wandering around looking for a double battle, and find two kids. They spammed status moves and abused pass+burrowing, and the PC's got sick of it and attacked them. Things go wrong and we reason that even if we just mugged them, they'd rat us out to police, so the kids got killed and we burned the bodies. Someone had the brilliantly stupid idea of sending a text to their mother to tell them that they would be late getting home. Things quickly tumbled downhill from there and eventually the whole team ended up shot due to worrying about the police causing us try to do a job earlier than we should have, and failing at it terribly.

Kavurcen

2012-07-22, 02:23 AM

Player tried to turn a woman he murdered into butter, then into oil to light a field on fire.
Let it slide by Rule of Pure Terror, mainly, plus the field had no real significance.

Fitz10019

2012-07-22, 04:59 AM

My players' characters actually like to carry weapons. heh.

Doxkid

2012-07-22, 05:21 AM

If you need to be bribed to DM, you probably shouldn't be doing it in the first place.

On topic!

Ranger tries to add str, dex, and BaB to attack rolls because his bow is a +4 str.

same player does the same thing with damage.

Same player also rapid and manyshots a full attacks and many shots his rapid because he gets two arrows on every shot. he also only takes a -2 because rapid shot came first and penalties don't stack.

....sufficient to say, i build all this guys characters nowadays.

See, the problem was that both of you were wrong. The player knew of cool things that could happen, but didn't know how to achieve those things.

You on the other hand presumably know how to achieve most of what he wanted, but needed to explain things better or teach him how to teach himself. Explaining the order things take place in, where he can look for weapon properties, what classes or prestige classes give what he's looking for and what feats he needs would have been much more productive.

If you had succeeded at that, he would be a much more knowledgeable and skilled player and you would have less to worry about.

VideoGameGeek

2012-07-22, 01:12 PM

Half way through our DM's incredibly long description of a large door he yells out:

"I close my eyes so I don't have to hear the rest of this description!"

grarrrg

2012-07-22, 01:42 PM

"I close my eyes so I don't have to hear the rest of this description!"

That actually makes perfect sense.
In a OoC/IC sort of way...

Zombulian

2012-07-22, 02:06 PM

Player tried to turn a woman he murdered into butter, then into oil to light a field on fire.
Let it slide by Rule of Pure Terror, mainly, plus the field had no real significance.

That poor farmhouse... Also you can just check my sig for my favorite story.

Averis Vol

2012-07-22, 05:09 PM

See, the problem was that both of you were wrong. The player knew of cool things that could happen, but didn't know how to achieve those things.

You on the other hand presumably know how to achieve most of what he wanted, but needed to explain things better or teach him how to teach himself. Explaining the order things take place in, where he can look for weapon properties, what classes or prestige classes give what he's looking for and what feats he needs would have been much more productive.

If you had succeeded at that, he would be a much more knowledgeable and skilled player and you would have less to worry about.

You would be right except for the fact he fully knew what he was doing and was trying to pull one over on me, seeing as archers are my least built characters, and get away with some BS he could have theoretically achieved had he actually bothered to look outside the PHB. Its not that he doesn't know the rules (He's still a terrible player, but he knows the rules at least) It was merely that he felt he could get away with it. He has this weird problem where if he can't do the most damage in the party he feels like someones going to threaten to beat up his character or something.

But to a point you are right, I should have helped him, it's just that he never asked for help and at the time I looked over his sheet it was fine; it was just his notes that he kept off to the side that were all janky.

Popertop

2012-07-22, 08:08 PM

I had some players once who actually ran to the internet to complain about the game, rather than trying to talk with me rationally either during or after the session. Can you imagine?

I have to admit, I have done this.

But only after trying to have several rational conversations with my DM about the issues I have with the campaign and the treatment in general my character ideas get (with them somehow being simultaneously OP yet also worthless ideas and stupid), only to have those conversations devolve into my DM telling me I'm a powergamer when he's the one with the Mary-Sue Dwarven-Cleric-To-End-Them-All.

SO actually, I haven't done this. lol

Karoht

2012-07-23, 04:26 PM

Half way through our DM's incredibly long description of a large door he yells out:

"I close my eyes so I don't have to hear the rest of this description!"

"What? I can't hear you I'm BLIND!!!"

JetThomasBoat

2012-07-23, 05:02 PM

The only bad ones I've had were this one person I used to play with, whenever he was a DM, he wouldn't allow too much alignment discrepancies. We all had to be close in alignment and he was very strict about interpreting said alignment. It's why I didn't play a paladin for the first seven years of my D&D career. But the thing was, whenever he would play, he would either be a loot obsessed paladin or be some kind of assassin or something with some way of making his alignment detectable.

Oh, and another one is that one of my friends for basically a year played pretty much the same character in like four different campaigns. He would always play a wizard. But more specifically, he would triple specialize in evocation, simply because he couldn't find somewhere where it said he couldn't.

Afool

2012-07-25, 03:18 PM

Do you think that would work with Divination in 3.5?

Wyntonian

2012-07-25, 04:19 PM

Do you think that would work with Divination in 3.5?

What? No, of course not. The point is that the guy was full of it.

Igneel

2012-07-25, 04:33 PM

Once had a player for a higher level game then what I typically run (not epic, but still close to it) that planned on using the variant for the Necromancer Wizard (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/variant/classes/specialistWizardVariants.htm#skeletalMinion) that replaces your familiar with a Skeleton Warrior. I was okay with this till I found out why he wanted to do this. Apparently he thought that by using the Awaken Undead spell he could grant the Skeleton Warrior his sentient scores back, followed by a Mindrape or other spells (I don't remember his whole procedure) to reconfigure his warrior into a wizard. From there he planned on having his ex-warrior become a Necromancer Wizard using the same variant to rinse-repeat for a 'infinite' pseudo-lich Wizard army, as they all would have the same HD/lvls as him. To make matters worse, technically if one dies, it only takes 24 hrs +100gp+certain spell costs to replace said warrior/wizard.
So I had to disallow at least that form of infinite wizard power, but I forget how I talked him out of it besides just outright not allowing that infinite loop.

Edit: Granted, looking back his undead wouldn't be very good Wizards with only 4+1d6 Int from Awaken Undead + items but it was safer to nip the bud before it got too carried out of the way.