Why are there so few places to dress up?

[WarKitty]

I'm one of the people that loves getting dressed up and going places. My issue is that there just doesn't seem to be anywhere to go anymore. High school and college had dances that were great fun, but who does that as an adult?

So where do you go if you want to dress up and go out?

[THAC0]

Nice dinner, orchestra concert, a nice show, "fancy party" with friends.

[WarKitty]

Nice dinner, orchestra concert, a nice show, "fancy party" with friends.

I don't have any friends that like to dress up, and the rest don't really exist in the area that I can find.

[Dark Elf Bard]

It depends on how formal you are. If it's semi-dressed up, it's hipster and you can wear it in public carefully.

[WarKitty]

It depends on how formal you are. If it's semi-dressed up, it's hipster and you can wear it in public carefully.

I was thinking more like evening-wear. I wear what most people would consider "dressy" on a daily basis (at my age it's not hipster, people just assume you have an office job).

[Dark Elf Bard]

Like THAC0 said, you could go to dinner with you SO...

No nice dinner places you can find?

[Kindablue]

How big is your town? Does it have any playhouses? a local symphony? an operahouse? Those are all of the regular reasons I get dressed up, in ascending order of expense and descending order of how often I actually go. They usually kick you out of all of those places and put a very unflattering photo of you in the ticketbox with DO NOT ADMIT written in big block letters under your face if you start dancing, though, so I can't help you with that. Godspeed.

[WarKitty]

Like THAC0 said, you could go to dinner with you SO...

No nice dinner places you can find?

You assume I have one of those.


How big is your town? Does it have any playhouses? a local symphony? an operahouse? Those are all of the regular reasons I get dressed up, in ascending order of expense and descending order of how often I actually go. They usually kick you out of all of those places and put a very unflattering photo of you in the ticketbox with DO NOT ADMIT written in big block letters under your face if you start dancing, though, so I can't help you with that. Godspeed.

It's not that small a place, but it's a college town (state school and associated community college). Most of the places cater to the party kids. There's probably some play/music stuff associated with the art school - might check into that, they're usually cheaper than the real stuff.

[Feytalist]

While still at university, my friends and I had "suit up" days. We would go to classes and then to a bar or something in the evening in our full suits. Was pretty fun. Makes you look snazzy. 'Course, it's easier for guys, because a suit fits in pretty much everywhere without much comment. I imagine it would be slightly harder for women in full evening dress.

We also always dress up for poker tournaments (we organise a lot of them where I live). Makes it feel a bit more special.

Also the concert thing is a good idea. People dress up more for an opera performance or something anyway, so going full formal would be nice.

If you have fancy friends, I suppose someone could host fancy dress dinner parties every once in a while.

[WarKitty]

While still at university, my friends and I had "suit up" days. We would go to classes and then to a bar or something in the evening in our full suits. Was pretty fun. Makes you look snazzy. 'Course, it's easier for guys, because a suit fits in pretty much everywhere without much comment. I imagine it would be slightly harder for women in full evening dress.

We also always dress up for poker tournaments (we organise a lot of them where I live). Makes it feel a bit more special.

Also the concert thing is a good idea. People dress up more for an opera performance or something anyway, so going full formal would be nice.

If you have fancy friends, I suppose someone could host fancy dress dinner parties every once in a while.

My problems is all my friends are the "well my sweatpants don't smell yet so I'll wear them again" types. :smallsigh:

[snoopy13a]

Because we're a country that thinks wearing a polo-shirt and chinos is "dressing-up." Go to a wedding or a funeral and see how many men don't even wear a tie.

Outside of most lawyers and a few bankers, no one even wears suits to work anymore.

[Knaight]

So where do you go if you want to dress up and go out?

How much money are you willing to spend going places? This is one of those questions that is much easier to answer when there is a nice, large budget to work with, as places where dressing up is appropriate have a tendency to be really expensive. If your budget is smaller - look for a theater near a college with a theater department. They often have free nights where you can go and watch the final rehearsal of plays, which essentially means watching a free play if the college is even half-decent.

[Chen]

My problems is all my friends are the "well my sweatpants don't smell yet so I'll wear them again" types. :smallsigh:

There aren't many places to go alone where you need to dress up aside from the aforementioned opera/concert/play type thing. For a small college town you might just be out of luck. That said, depending on the size of the college itself, I would imagine there are probably others who feel the same way. Maybe check out what types of things the college itself has to offer. At least at University here, at the very least there were more formal parties at the end of each year for the graduating classes in each department. Even the engineering final dinner/party had everyone in suits which is not the norm at all for engineering (the engineering department getting banned from using that hotel in the future for being too rowdy and drinking the bar dry was more along the norm though :P)

[Fragenstein]

Outside of most lawyers and a few bankers, no one even wears suits to work anymore.

My office went casual a few years ago and we have one single hold-out. At least in this area. He refuses to bow to the jeans-and-tshirt sect and still comes to work in a suit and tie.

I don't blame him. He wears it quite well.

Every time I open my mouth to criticise someone for wearing flip-flops or sandals in what is supposed to be a professional setting, I remember what I look like next to the guy who still dresses like a businessman and keep quiet.

[WarKitty]

How much money are you willing to spend going places? This is one of those questions that is much easier to answer when there is a nice, large budget to work with, as places where dressing up is appropriate have a tendency to be really expensive. If your budget is smaller - look for a theater near a college with a theater department. They often have free nights where you can go and watch the final rehearsal of plays, which essentially means watching a free play if the college is even half-decent.

I don't really have a budget. More to the point, I don't really have a car.


There aren't many places to go alone where you need to dress up aside from the aforementioned opera/concert/play type thing. For a small college town you might just be out of luck. That said, depending on the size of the college itself, I would imagine there are probably others who feel the same way. Maybe check out what types of things the college itself has to offer. At least at University here, at the very least there were more formal parties at the end of each year for the graduating classes in each department. Even the engineering final dinner/party had everyone in suits which is not the norm at all for engineering (the engineering department getting banned from using that hotel in the future for being too rowdy and drinking the bar dry was more along the norm though :P)

Not for graduate students. There's stuff for undergrads.

[Knaight]

I don't really have a budget. More to the point, I don't really have a car.
Do you have a bicycle? There's often a surprising amount of stuff that can be done with a bicycle and no budget, with the aforementioned final rehearsals of plays being at the top of that list.

[WarKitty]

Do you have a bicycle? There's often a surprising amount of stuff that can be done with a bicycle and no budget, with the aforementioned final rehearsals of plays being at the top of that list.

No bike - not worth it when there's too much snow/ice half the year. We do have a solid public transportation system though. I work on campus, so getting there isn't exactly difficult.

[Dr.Epic]

I don't know what you're talking about. According to my dad, even Chucky Cheese is a place you have to be dressed up for.

[Fragenstein]

I don't know what you're talking about. According to my dad, even Chucky Cheese is a place you have to be dressed up for.

Heh...

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-y_GqZbM-SKc/TauhkdMwRcI/AAAAAAAAFKE/98JqRgE0Enk/s1600/why%2Bthe%2Btuxedo%2Balec%2Bbaldwin%2B30%2Brock%2B motivational%2Bposters%2Bfunny%2Bhot%2Bstupid%2Bfr ee.jpg

[Dr.Epic]

Heh...

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-y_GqZbM-SKc/TauhkdMwRcI/AAAAAAAAFKE/98JqRgE0Enk/s1600/why%2Bthe%2Btuxedo%2Balec%2Bbaldwin%2B30%2Brock%2B motivational%2Bposters%2Bfunny%2Bhot%2Bstupid%2Bfr ee.jpg

If only...

[Chen]

Not for graduate students. There's stuff for undergrads.

Well as a grad student if you're a TA you could force all students to dress up for any tutorials you hold. That probably wouldn't go over too well though heh.

And just because you're a grad student doesn't mean you can't be friendly with undergrads. If you're a part of any social groups, clubs etc there's liable to be undergrads there. Hell its an excuse to ask someone out to a party too if you know there's one coming up (or rather put yourself in a position to be asked since it'd be a bit odd to ask someone to THEIR graduation thing).

The only other real occasions I can think of would be weddings and funerals. Maybe religious things like Confirmations, Bar Mitzvah's and the like. But those usually necessitate younger children so friends' weddings usually come first :P

[Telonius]

Why are there so few places to dress up?

Because so many people are broke. That's really what it comes down to, I think.

Fancy clothes are expensive, and the things that you tend to do while wearing fancy clothes also tend to be expensive. People have mentioned opera and concerts. Country clubs work as well, to an extent. So do certain political events, charity fundraisers, art exhibitions, some museums ... basically think up a stereotypical list of "stuff rich people do" and you'll find that it intersects with fancy dress-up places. If you aren't already palling around with the jet set, then you're probably not going to see it.

For a place to be a "dress up" place, it has to have a clientele of customers who are willing and able to dress up on a regular basis. We're in the worst economic recession since the 1930's; there are a lot fewer of that kind of customer around now.

[Heliomance]

Just dress up anyway. I spent the entirety of the year before last walking around campus in a waistcoat and cravat. Gain a reputation for eccentricity and enjoy it!

[ThePhantasm]

I don't know what you're talking about. According to my dad, even Chucky Cheese is a place you have to be dressed up for.

Of course. If any place is worthy of dress up, it is Chucky Cheese. T-shirt and jeans are unfitting attire for pizza and whack-a-mole.

[WarKitty]

Because so many people are broke. That's really what it comes down to, I think.

Fancy clothes are expensive, and the things that you tend to do while wearing fancy clothes also tend to be expensive. People have mentioned opera and concerts. Country clubs work as well, to an extent. So do certain political events, charity fundraisers, art exhibitions, some museums ... basically think up a stereotypical list of "stuff rich people do" and you'll find that it intersects with fancy dress-up places. If you aren't already palling around with the jet set, then you're probably not going to see it.

For a place to be a "dress up" place, it has to have a clientele of customers who are willing and able to dress up on a regular basis. We're in the worst economic recession since the 1930's; there are a lot fewer of that kind of customer around now.

Which is amusing given that dressing up is now a lot less expensive. My best evening outfit probably cost around $80 total (for the full outfit, not just the dress)

[Dallas-Dakota]

Host your own ''fancy dress'' party, gives it a nice theme which is easy to do for most people.:smallbiggrin:

[Kindablue]

I don't know what you're talking about. According to my dad, even Chucky Cheese is a place you have to be dressed up for.
Wait... is your dad Barney Stinson?

[Kneenibble]

Just dress up anyway. I spent the entirety of the year before last walking around campus in a waistcoat and cravat. Gain a reputation for eccentricity and enjoy it!

Mon fraisier has the right of it. If you like dressing up, why wait for an occasion? You woke up breathing -- celebrate!

I myself can't bear leaving the house without at least a coat, even if I'm going to buy groceries. *sniffs a perfumed handkerchief gaily*

[Serpentine]

Hey Kitty, have you actually asked any of your tracksuit pants friends if they'd be interested in dressing up to go somewhere or whatever? Just because they usually wear extreme casual doesn't necessarily mean they wouldn't be up for a change just for fun.

[WarKitty]

Mon fraisier has the right of it. If you like dressing up, why wait for an occasion? You woke up breathing -- celebrate!

I myself can't bear leaving the house without at least a coat, even if I'm going to buy groceries. *sniffs a perfumed handkerchief gaily*

Depends on how formal you're talking. I find that eveningwear both causes a bit too much of a stir and is a bit impractical for wearing around.

[Kneenibble]

Depends on how formal you're talking. I find that eveningwear both causes a bit too much of a stir and is a bit impractical for wearing around.

Well how formal are you talking?

[Synovia]

Because so many people are broke. That's really what it comes down to, I think.

Fancy clothes are expensive, and the things that you tend to do while wearing fancy clothes also tend to be expensive. People have mentioned opera and concerts. Country clubs work as well, to an extent. So do certain political events, charity fundraisers, art exhibitions, some museums ... basically think up a stereotypical list of "stuff rich people do" and you'll find that it intersects with fancy dress-up places. If you aren't already palling around with the jet set, then you're probably not going to see it.

For a place to be a "dress up" place, it has to have a clientele of customers who are willing and able to dress up on a regular basis. We're in the worst economic recession since the 1930's; there are a lot fewer of that kind of customer around now.

Gonna disagree here. You can get a half decent looking suit at Kohls, or K&G, or Men's Wearhouse or JABank for $150, and you can wear it pretty often. Jeans and a hoodie will cost you almost that much now (well, probably $100), and if you wear the same hoodie often, people look at you funny. If you wear the same suit often? Nobody cares.

Stop thinking about places you can dress up. Think about places you can't. In 99% of situations, a guy in a suit isn't going to confuse anyone. Wear a suit to the gym? Yeah, people look at you funny. Wear a suit to the library? You just look good. Wear a suit to dinner at Unos? Nobody cares, and you look good.

[WarKitty]

Well how formal are you talking?

I was thinking more evening wear, or at least cocktail level.

[Heliomance]

Cocktail level is no problem at all. Seriously, just have fun cultivating a reputation for eccentricity. Go nuts!

[WarKitty]

Cocktail level is no problem at all. Seriously, just have fun cultivating a reputation for eccentricity. Go nuts!

I dunno. It just doesn't seem fun without the environment. I don't mind eccentricity, but there's a point where it's so out of place it doesn't seem interesting anymore. When it goes from "oh hey nice outfit" to "why would she be wearing that here?" as the most common reaction, it stops being fun for me. Not to mention the suitable environment is part of the fun.

[Zorg]

For non-uniform days at school my brother and I would fully suit up (3 piece w fedora & briefcase), so if you want to dress up just do it!

If you're overdressed it just gives the impression that you've got somewhere nicer to go after you're done slumming it. And if someone asks you "why you're dressed like that?", just reply "perhaps I should ask why you are dressed like that?" (throw in an impecibly arched eyebrow for good measure).

[TheThan]

Church is typically a place people dress up at. I can't really get too in depth due to forum rules. But if that's not your thing, then at least you are missing out on the opportunity to dress up. Granted, cocktail level evening wear might be a bit much (YMMV, depending on church).

[Selrahc]

I dunno. It just doesn't seem fun without the environment. I don't mind eccentricity, but there's a point where it's so out of place it doesn't seem interesting anymore. When it goes from "oh hey nice outfit" to "why would she be wearing that here?" as the most common reaction, it stops being fun for me. Not to mention the suitable environment is part of the fun.

You basically want the occasion rather than the dress. As people have stated, nobody will really mind if you dress fancily in pretty much any circumstances. However, you seem to be more concerned with finding special occasions in which everyone puts a special effort in to their appearance.

I would suggest the best solution, assuming you're not rich and living in a place with a lot of fancy places, is to organize events with your friends. Throw a dinner party or something.

[Kneenibble]

I dunno. It just doesn't seem fun without the environment. I don't mind eccentricity, but there's a point where it's so out of place it doesn't seem interesting anymore. When it goes from "oh hey nice outfit" to "why would she be wearing that here?" as the most common reaction, it stops being fun for me. Not to mention the suitable environment is part of the fun.

Fair enough. A Little Black Dress with stockings and heels is vulgar in the wrong setting, as would be black tie for a casual lunch at a café.

But for men, at least, I am all for casual suits for almost all occasions. What Synovia said.

[Telonius]

Gonna disagree here. You can get a half decent looking suit at Kohls, or K&G, or Men's Wearhouse or JABank for $150, and you can wear it pretty often. Jeans and a hoodie will cost you almost that much now (well, probably $100), and if you wear the same hoodie often, people look at you funny. If you wear the same suit often? Nobody cares.

Stop thinking about places you can dress up. Think about places you can't. In 99% of situations, a guy in a suit isn't going to confuse anyone. Wear a suit to the gym? Yeah, people look at you funny. Wear a suit to the library? You just look good. Wear a suit to dinner at Unos? Nobody cares, and you look good.

... I guess I'm thinking much more formal that most people. I live in the Washington, DC, area, and have worked around a bunch of high-powered government folk, lawyers, and such. The sort of thing I'd wear to a fancy dress-up thing around here would run (minimum) $700-$800. I was (the worst coat-guy in history) at a local 4-star restaurant, and the suit I had to buy for that cost $500, 12 years ago.

[Tyndmyr]

While still at university, my friends and I had "suit up" days. We would go to classes and then to a bar or something in the evening in our full suits. Was pretty fun. Makes you look snazzy. 'Course, it's easier for guys, because a suit fits in pretty much everywhere without much comment. I imagine it would be slightly harder for women in full evening dress.

We also always dress up for poker tournaments (we organise a lot of them where I live). Makes it feel a bit more special.

Also the concert thing is a good idea. People dress up more for an opera performance or something anyway, so going full formal would be nice.

If you have fancy friends, I suppose someone could host fancy dress dinner parties every once in a while.

This. I've simply shown up to a redneck bar in a three piece suit, and friends wearing the same, and acted as if this were entirely normal. Nobody questioned it, and one of us even had on a snazzy top hat.

Price of suits varies, but I have a couple for work anyway. Might as well get some use out of 'em.

[WarKitty]

You basically want the occasion rather than the dress. As people have stated, nobody will really mind if you dress fancily in pretty much any circumstances. However, you seem to be more concerned with finding special occasions in which everyone puts a special effort in to their appearance.

I would suggest the best solution, assuming you're not rich and living in a place with a lot of fancy places, is to organize events with your friends. Throw a dinner party or something.

I don't have any friends that would do that though...

Part of it is a money issue. I wouldn't mind going to a nice place, but they're expensive. I suppose fancy dress may actually favor women cost-wise, oddly enough - I can save a bunch of money by purchasing last season's dresses and shoes and whatnot. A "leftover" evening gown after prom season may only be $30. Bonus points if you can find one with a few beads missing - you can get $5-10 off for a $2 repair.

[Selrahc]

I don't have any friends that would do that though...


If you haven't tried, I'd say to ask them. I'm usually very casually dressed, but in my final year of university one of my friends decided to start throwing "smart" parties and pretty much everyone agreed to show up. So they may surprise you!

Alternatively, start or join a club. A formal dining society isn't really a terribly outre idea.

[WarKitty]

If you haven't tried, I'd say to ask them. I'm usually very casually dressed, but in my final year of university one of my friends decided to start throwing "smart" parties and pretty much everyone agreed to show up. So they may surprise you!

Alternatively, start or join a club. A formal dining society isn't really a terribly outre idea.

It's the difference between "usually casually dressed" and "whines about finding a button-down shirt for church."

[Knaight]

Gonna disagree here. You can get a half decent looking suit at Kohls, or K&G, or Men's Wearhouse or JABank for $150, and you can wear it pretty often. Jeans and a hoodie will cost you almost that much now (well, probably $100), and if you wear the same hoodie often, people look at you funny. If you wear the same suit often? Nobody cares.

Those are some expensive jeans and hoodies. Brand new, it's not exactly difficult to find jeans and hoodies for all of 30 dollars together, and you can get much lower than that with minimal effort.

[Ravens_cry]

I can get a decent suit at a thrift store for pretty cheap. It may not be high fashion, but I ain't chasing that red queens race.

[Karoht]

Go work for a bank. They'll expect you to be well dressed every day.


Yeah, the reason why expensive entertainment declined was because the lower class and middle class developed to the point where cheaper entertainment actually had some serious demand. See a need, fill a need. Eventually they became the larger demographic to market to.
(If anyone is getting the vibe that this is a negative comment in regards to the lower/middle class, it isn't)

As for what remains of expensive entertainment, the kind where you are expected to dress up? Yeah, not a heck of a lot.
I went to the Opera. There were people in T-Shirts and flip flops. My fiance and I stuck out pretty badly. But we didn't get discouraged, we rocked the part of 'well dressed couple' and managed to turn a few heads without getting strange looks.

My solution is to throw an event of your own. Find a classy pub with some older fashion decor, suit up and rock it. Ensure that the people you invite are in on all this, get your manners and mannerisms to fit the part. No sense in dressing up and then acting unrefined.

As for suits, I recommend greys and browns, keep black to a minimum. You can actually do very well shopping at a thrift store/good will/salvation army for those parts.

Monacles and Monacle Smiles are optional.
Accents are optional.
Canes and Walking Sticks have a tendancy to be a bit obtrusive to such social events, I would say they are not advised but also optional.
If you can give your group/event a fun name, I recommend it. Such as the Association of Madfellows, or somesuch.

Happy Hunting.

[WarKitty]

Go work for a bank. They'll expect you to be well dressed every day.


Yeah, the reason why expensive entertainment declined was because the lower class and middle class developed to the point where cheaper entertainment actually had some serious demand. See a need, fill a need. Eventually they became the larger demographic to market to.
(If anyone is getting the vibe that this is a negative comment in regards to the lower/middle class, it isn't)

As for what remains of expensive entertainment, the kind where you are expected to dress up? Yeah, not a heck of a lot.
I went to the Opera. There were people in T-Shirts and flip flops. My fiance and I stuck out pretty badly. But we didn't get discouraged, we rocked the part of 'well dressed couple' and managed to turn a few heads without getting strange looks.

My solution is to throw an event of your own. Find a classy pub with some older fashion decor, suit up and rock it. Ensure that the people you invite are in on all this, get your manners and mannerisms to fit the part. No sense in dressing up and then acting unrefined.

As for suits, I recommend greys and browns, keep black to a minimum. You can actually do very well shopping at a thrift store/good will/salvation army for those parts.

Monacles and Monacle Smiles are optional.
Accents are optional.
Canes and Walking Sticks have a tendancy to be a bit obtrusive to such social events, I would say they are not advised but also optional.
If you can give your group/event a fun name, I recommend it. Such as the Association of Madfellows, or somesuch.

Happy Hunting.

One slight problem with the dress advice for me - I don't typically wear suits for formal attire. :smallbiggrin:

[Mauve Shirt]

Psh, I whine about having to iron linen shirts to go to work in the morning, but I still love taking the opportunity to dress up like I'm rich and it's prom once in a while. Ask your friends. Perhaps have them do it for your birthday!

[Anarion]

Outside of most lawyers and a few bankers, no one even wears suits to work anymore.

Hate to burst your bubble, but I've been working at a big law firm and we go business casual all the time. Everyone just keeps a suit and tie stashed around the office in case a client comes in so we can fool you into thinking we look like professionals.

Also, the quality of the work is good, and at this point it has become a point of irony that the firms that do some of the best work and crush the souls of their employees with overtime are also the most casual. It's like "sure, we'll steal your entire life, but at least you can wear jeans to the office!"


Which is amusing given that dressing up is now a lot less expensive. My best evening outfit probably cost around $80 total (for the full outfit, not just the dress)

What you might try to do is match your events to your formal wear prices. For example, try going into a nearby city and attending an opera or ballet on a weekend in the cheap seats. Most of those can be had for a relatively low price, it's only the premiers in the evening that are ungodly expensive. And taking the train or bus in dress clothes to an event is a fun experience. I have commuted on the streetcar in suit and tie when I previously worked at a place that required it and you actually get treated just a little bit nicer by people around you.


Depends on how formal you're talking. I find that eveningwear both causes a bit too much of a stir and is a bit impractical for wearing around.

Try varying levels. Wear a nice dress during the day, and then have a party and invite your friends over, black tie only. Or better yet, require proper British garden party attire: white gloves and hats for the ladies, tails for the men. :smallwink:

[MonkeyBusiness]

Kitty, I feel your pain. I don't even have the option of dressing up at work: I teach swimming, and am required to wear a uniform rashguard over my suit. I am still wrangling with my boss to let me wear a frikkin' swimcap for crying out loud! I bought an awesome vintage one with flowers all over it ... the kids loved it, but the boss practically had kittens when he saw it. :smallannoyed:

I enjoy making reasons to dress up when I go out, even if it's just for a meal. I've never gotten any odd looks, but I do get compliments. In my experience, people enjoy seeing someone looking sharp, and often seem to secretly wish they'd had the courage to be a little ritzier. In general I find I receive more considerate treatment when I dress with elegance. Staff at concert halls have actually thanked me for dressing for the occasion, and I've actually had two different restaurant owners ask if I minded sitting by the window "so people outside would see me". And one cafe owner gave me free coffees to encourage me to stay longer. :smallsmile: My point is, aside from the fun of looking nice, there are other benefits as well, ranging from kind words to preferential treatment.

I think it's a shame that others find the idea of dressing nicely so difficult. Most of the clothes I own are actually second hand, so it is possible to find beautiful clothes on even a slender budget.

[grimbold]

Wait... is your dad Barney Stinson?

knowing the good doctor
this would not surprise me :smalltongue:

[Karoht]

One slight problem with the dress advice for me - I don't typically wear suits for formal attire. :smallbiggrin:Okay, but let me at least make the arguement that there are some fellows out there with a thing for ladies with monacles.

Going back to my post though, it kind of boils down to two major options.

1-Check out every venue in the reachable area. Visit every bar, every restaurant, every coffee shop, everything. Check out every bit of each venue. I found an awesome little parlor in one of the local pubs, you wouldn't know it was there unless you knew to look for it, the owner said that it's basically never used. Guess who is planning a 'suit up' night to take advantage of this find?

2-Make your own event. Rent a hall, throw a party. It is actually a lot less expensive than one would think especially if you have a $5 or $10 cover and open it to the public. You just need some really great volunteers to help you coordinate and run it.

[Ravens_cry]

I wish there was a bar like the Questionable Content one. You know the one, where people dress up in actual Victorian dress, not the typical Steampunk Slutty Halloween version.

[GnomeFighter]

Ha. It amazes me how many people are confusing a suit with formal wear. I think WarKitty is talking about black tie dressing up rather than suit dressing up. Big difference, and even with a suit there is a big difference. Personally I don't where a suit very often but when I do I don't go cheap. Cheap suits look like, well, cheap suits. A good tie and an overcoat is vital. Three piece is a little outdated, but some people can pull it off. As for black tie, there are few places that you can wear it nowadays, for good reason. Dress shirts are uncomfortable and its a very Victorian thing, when black tie was normal evening wear and less formal that white tie or court dress.

People complain about lack of formality now, and the fact that people don't dress for work, but there is a good reason for that too. 100 years ago most stuff people consider "smart" now would have been seen as half dressed. No hat? No overcoat? No waistcoat? And the shoes people where with suits now? But that was a time when people walked to work, had little heating, and office work was uncommon and well paid, so could afford that kind of dress and it was also practical. The change in formality is mostly down to the fact that it is no longer needed, and most people look better in chinos and a shirt that they can afford than the type of suit they are willing to pay for. An average suit will set you back £500+, so for the normal office schmo like myself having several, and getting them cleaned every week, is just not viable. Cheep suits look cheep and should be avoided IMO. I would much rather have 2 good suits that are saved for when they are needed than have enough cheep suits to where all the time.

Anyway, I digress. There are few places where evening where is appropriate nowadays. The best thing to do is to try and organize dinner with friends, or find a higher class of friends :)

[WarKitty]

Ha. It amazes me how many people are confusing a suit with formal wear. I think WarKitty is talking about black tie dressing up rather than suit dressing up. Big difference, and even with a suit there is a big difference. Personally I don't where a suit very often but when I do I don't go cheap. Cheap suits look like, well, cheap suits. A good tie and an overcoat is vital. Three piece is a little outdated, but some people can pull it off. As for black tie, there are few places that you can wear it nowadays, for good reason. Dress shirts are uncomfortable and its a very Victorian thing, when black tie was normal evening wear and less formal that white tie or court dress.

People complain about lack of formality now, and the fact that people don't dress for work, but there is a good reason for that too. 100 years ago most stuff people consider "smart" now would have been seen as half dressed. No hat? No overcoat? No waistcoat? And the shoes people where with suits now? But that was a time when people walked to work, had little heating, and office work was uncommon and well paid, so could afford that kind of dress and it was also practical. The change in formality is mostly down to the fact that it is no longer needed, and most people look better in chinos and a shirt that they can afford than the type of suit they are willing to pay for. An average suit will set you back £500+, so for the normal office schmo like myself having several, and getting them cleaned every week, is just not viable. Cheep suits look cheep and should be avoided IMO. I would much rather have 2 good suits that are saved for when they are needed than have enough cheep suits to where all the time.

Anyway, I digress. There are few places where evening where is appropriate nowadays. The best thing to do is to try and organize dinner with friends, or find a higher class of friends :)

I'm afraid I'm not terribly familiar with the distinctions in suits - seeing as I never wear them. But you're right, there's a big difference between professional "dressing up" and evening formal attire.

[Karoht]

I wish there was a bar like the Questionable Content one. You know the one, where people dress up in actual Victorian dress, not the typical Steampunk Slutty Halloween version.
I sincerely hope that the game store/bar a friend of mine plans on opening somehow manages to get a good interior to match some victorian fashion. Costumes will be highly encouraged, we just haven't figured out a good way to encourage them beyond going to the actual communites themselves and telling them about our establishment.

We keep jokingly making up policies for his bar. Here's a few of our eccentricities:
-The place is a Tavern. Not a Bar, not a pub, a Tavern.
-The Tavern must be below ground. The store front/main gaming areas are above ground. With an outdoor entrance that requires you to decend a set of stairs to the entrance. House rules state that if you can not climb the stairs at the end of the night, we confiscate the keys to your conveyance and telephone to arrange a taxi pickup.
-The Tavern must have a regulation snooker table, not a pool table. Snooker is a game for gentlemen, whereas any old ruffians and raggabouts can play a game of pool. A snooker official may be required to be on staff.
-The Tavern must have dart boards.
-All monitors in the bar and main gaming areas (if any in the main gaming areas) will be showing feeds of esports and streaming games.
-All the Bartkeeps (not Bartender, BARKEEP) are named Seamus. They must sport the white shirt, black wastecoat, black arm band. Also, they must sport proper mutton chop facial hair. Including the ladies. (They get a bonus of 50 cents an hour if they conform, ladies get an extra 1 dollar per hour).

We have yet to formalize a patron dress code however.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

I sincerely hope that the game store/bar a friend of mine plans on opening somehow manages to get a good interior to match some victorian fashion. Costumes will be highly encouraged, we just haven't figured out a good way to encourage them beyond going to the actual communites themselves and telling them about our establishment.

We keep jokingly making up policies for his bar. Here's a few of our eccentricities:
-The place is a Tavern. Not a Bar, not a pub, a Tavern.
-The Tavern must be below ground. The store front/main gaming areas are above ground. With an outdoor entrance that requires you to decend a set of stairs to the entrance. House rules state that if you can not climb the stairs at the end of the night, we confiscate the keys to your conveyance and telephone to arrange a taxi pickup.
-The Tavern must have a regulation snooker table, not a pool table. Snooker is a game for gentlemen, whereas any old ruffians and raggabouts can play a game of pool. A snooker official may be required to be on staff.
-The Tavern must have dart boards.
-All monitors in the bar and main gaming areas (if any in the main gaming areas) will be showing feeds of esports and streaming games.
-All the Bartkeeps (not Bartender, BARKEEP) are named Seamus. They must sport the white shirt, black wastecoat, black arm band. Also, they must sport proper mutton chop facial hair. Including the ladies. (They get a bonus of 50 cents an hour if they conform, ladies get an extra 1 dollar per hour).

We have yet to formalize a patron dress code however.

DRESS UP BOX

If and/or when this tavern becomes real, TELL ME WHERE IT IS AND I WILL GO THERE.

Also yeah the solution to patron dress code is to have a dress-up box somewhere in the room.

[LeroyThad]

Direct answer to your question. Society, it's all society's fault. Because in good 'ol 'murica there are only two special/rare occasions. Someone has to die (funeral) or two people have to make a commitment and hold an overpriced ceremony to commemorate it (incarceration). And those are the only two times that warrant dressing up behold just wearing some slacks and a button down collard shirt. I don't really care much though, I go walking around in an aloha shirt and jeans all day, everyday! But you do have my empathy (trust me it's a good thing) and I'm sorry you don't have more occasions to get all shnazay.

Further advise: Create the above to occasions that warrant dressing up. Get a license to wed and start playing match maker or ?switch? to Chaotic Evil and go loco!

[GnomeFighter]

I sincerely hope that the game store/bar a friend of mine plans on opening somehow manages to get a good interior to match some victorian fashion. Costumes will be highly encouraged, we just haven't figured out a good way to encourage them beyond going to the actual communites themselves and telling them about our establishment.

We keep jokingly making up policies for his bar. Here's a few of our eccentricities:
-The place is a Tavern. Not a Bar, not a pub, a Tavern.
-The Tavern must be below ground. The store front/main gaming areas are above ground. With an outdoor entrance that requires you to decend a set of stairs to the entrance. House rules state that if you can not climb the stairs at the end of the night, we confiscate the keys to your conveyance and telephone to arrange a taxi pickup.
-The Tavern must have a regulation snooker table, not a pool table. Snooker is a game for gentlemen, whereas any old ruffians and raggabouts can play a game of pool. A snooker official may be required to be on staff.
-The Tavern must have dart boards.
-All monitors in the bar and main gaming areas (if any in the main gaming areas) will be showing feeds of esports and streaming games.
-All the Bartkeeps (not Bartender, BARKEEP) are named Seamus. They must sport the white shirt, black wastecoat, black arm band. Also, they must sport proper mutton chop facial hair. Including the ladies. (They get a bonus of 50 cents an hour if they conform, ladies get an extra 1 dollar per hour).

We have yet to formalize a patron dress code however.

A few suggestions.

1) Billiards (also known as English billiards) or Bar billiards, rather than snooker. Billiards is much more of a gentlemans game.

2) Tavern? Pah. What you want is a gaming club based on a 1920s gentlemans club. Watch jeeves and wooster for ideas.

3) Encouraged dress code: 3 piece suit, overcoat and bowler hat for daytime, Lounge suits for evenings and weekends, black tie if dinning, white tie for formal events & parties. Suitable alternatives aloud.

4) Surely a natty handlebar mustache would be acceptable alternative facial hair?

[Karoht]

A few suggestions.

1) Billiards (also known as English billiards) or Bar billiards, rather than snooker. Billiards is much more of a gentlemans game.Ah, agreed then.



2) Tavern? Pah. What you want is a gaming club based on a 1920s gentlemans club. Watch jeeves and wooster for ideas.Ooooooooh. Ideas abound!



3) Encouraged dress code: 3 piece suit, overcoat and bowler hat for daytime, Lounge suits for evenings and weekends, black tie if dinning, white tie for formal events & parties. Suitable alternatives aloud.That will be jolly good and all for the gents but what of the ladies?
Ladies? Any suggestions?


4) Surely a natty handlebar mustache would be acceptable alternative facial hair?If they have a handlebar mustache, the name Seamus just doesn't really feel like it should apply. We shall need a new name, appropriate to that specific facial hair. In fact, we will likely need to create a series of names appropriate to many facial hair styles.

[Dr.Epic]

Wait... is your dad Barney Stinson?

I don't even know who that is. So I'm going to say yes, yes he is.

[Krade]

Because we're a country that thinks wearing a polo-shirt and chinos is "dressing-up." Go to a wedding or a funeral and see how many men don't even wear a tie.

I know I'm a few days late on responding to this, but I had to mention how irritating it was to go to my grandmother's funeral last month and the only people dressed even remotely nice were me, my two other brothers that went, ONE cousin, and my aunts and uncle. So a total seven people. It was stupid. This was even the hardcore Catholic side of my family. You'd think they'd put in at least a little more effort.

[Gnomish Wanderer]

I feel your pain, Warkitty. When I was young and went to dances I thought it wasn't worth it to dress up, and now that I'm all old and have fancy clothing there's no place to go. I took the eccentric route people were mentioning earlier, wearing fancier dresses or nice white shirts and vests prolly once every couple of weeks for a while there, but now I'm back down to just casualwear. A nice place would be, well, nice.

Best of luck finding one! I has no advice. v.v

[WarKitty]

It's perhaps equally frustrating that the only chance those of us who aren't marriage-inclined will get for a big party is our funerals. :smallfrown:

[Karoht]

It's perhaps equally frustrating that the only chance those of us who aren't marriage-inclined will get for a big party is our funerals. :smallfrown:I used to feel the same way.

Then I worked in event management and catering for a few years as well as at my full time job.
Then I started throwing events of my own.
Problem solved for the most part.

Sometimes, you just have to make something yourself if you want to see it happen. This is going to sound very platitude-ish, but if you wait for others to do something it usually never happens.

And when you make your own events, it goes by your rules. That most especially includes your taste in dress code. If you promise people a good time, the dress code usually isn't something they complain about unless it's absurd. And you would be amazed at what people are willing to wear in order to have a good time.

I hear there is this garment called 'shorts' and one wears them to places like 'the mall' and 'the beach'
Outrageous.

[WarKitty]

I used to feel the same way.

Then I worked in event management and catering for a few years as well as at my full time job.
Then I started throwing events of my own.
Problem solved for the most part.

Sometimes, you just have to make something yourself if you want to see it happen. This is going to sound very platitude-ish, but if you wait for others to do something it usually never happens.

And when you make your own events, it goes by your rules. That most especially includes your taste in dress code. If you promise people a good time, the dress code usually isn't something they complain about unless it's absurd. And you would be amazed at what people are willing to wear in order to have a good time.

I hear there is this garment called 'shorts' and one wears them to places like 'the mall' and 'the beach'
Outrageous.

I don't think I could host something like that...I'd be too afraid that no one would show up. I'm surrounded by "fancy dress is stupid and boring" types. And I don't even know what I'd host that would be appropriate and that people would come to.

[Karoht]

I don't think I could host something like that...I'd be too afraid that no one would show up. I'm surrounded by "fancy dress is stupid and boring" types. And I don't even know what I'd host that would be appropriate and that people would come to.

Birthday Party
People feel obligated to go to birthday parties, and the potential for free food is a powerful draw.
No matter what wild and wacky stuff you have planned, very few people will turn down a birthday party, especially if there is at least some free food.
Promise GOOD free food and people will wear just about anything you want. For better or for worse. That comment comes with the knowledge that yes, I've seen some pretty interesting... catered events...
I'm both very lucky and very cursed some days.

I'll give you one of the better examples. I have examples where... I deeply wished I could un-see things, but I'll spare you those.

For my brother's 18th birthday party, since he was finally old enough to drink, and since he was single, I decided to throw him a more... risque sort of event.
I said 'sexy party, show up with a coat and your undergarments' and for weeks, I had people complain that they would be too embarassed.
The actual number of people in attendance? Double my expected number, which I had to cope with and made my evening a bit nutty. Well, nuttier than a 'frilly' party already would be.
Yes, even the most prudish/self conscious of his friends showed up. Granted, there were a few holdouts who came in jeans and tshirts, but they were definitely in the minority, and actually regretted not joining in on the fun.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

I'll give you one of the better examples. I have examples where... I deeply wished I could un-see things, but I'll spare you those.

For my brother's 18th birthday party, since he was finally old enough to drink, and since he was single, I decided to throw him a more... risque sort of event.
I said 'sexy party, show up with a coat and your undergarments' and for weeks, I had people complain that they would be too embarassed.
The actual number of people in attendance? Double my expected number, which I had to cope with and made my evening a bit nutty. Well, nuttier than a 'frilly' party already would be.
Yes, even the most prudish/self conscious of his friends showed up. Granted, there were a few holdouts who came in jeans and tshirts, but they were definitely in the minority, and actually regretted not joining in on the fun.

You sir, are a hero.

Um, I came to a christmas party in a half-stolen tails? I stole the jacket from my school's theatre department, the rest of the outfit was either mine, or my dad's when he saw that I was wearing half an outfit, he insisted on giving me his overcoat and cummerbundt and scarf-with-a-big-F-for-our-last-name on it and all his fanciest attire. That was fun. I managed to not get any alcohol on it, too! :smallbiggrin:

[Karoht]

You sir, are a hero.Aw shucks. Naw, I'm just a good big brother is all.


Um, I came to a christmas party in a half-stolen tails? I stole the jacket from my school's theatre department, the rest of the outfit was either mine, or my dad's when he saw that I was wearing half an outfit, he insisted on giving me his overcoat and cummerbundt and scarf-with-a-big-F-for-our-last-name on it and all his fanciest attire. That was fun. I managed to not get any alcohol on it, too! :smallbiggrin:That you did not spill alcohol on it means you were doing it right wearing it correctly.

[MonkeyBusiness]

'sexy party, show up with a coat and your undergarments'

Brilliant! And to make it formal, one wears gloves. :smallbiggrin:

Sometimes you can trick people into wearing fancy clothes if the clothes are vintage. "Mad Men" is really popular right now, and many people seem to enjoy wearing clothes from the 1960's. Since contemporary designers often steal looks from shows, this makes it even easier. In fact, Banana Republic has a "Mad Men" line. So you could throw a "Mad Men" style party, and serve Old Fashioneds and faves from the old Betty Crocker cookbook, and groove to the tunes of the time.

.

[WarKitty]

Birthday Party
People feel obligated to go to birthday parties, and the potential for free food is a powerful draw.
No matter what wild and wacky stuff you have planned, very few people will turn down a birthday party, especially if there is at least some free food.
Promise GOOD free food and people will wear just about anything you want. For better or for worse. That comment comes with the knowledge that yes, I've seen some pretty interesting... catered events...
I'm both very lucky and very cursed some days.

I'll give you one of the better examples. I have examples where... I deeply wished I could un-see things, but I'll spare you those.

For my brother's 18th birthday party, since he was finally old enough to drink, and since he was single, I decided to throw him a more... risque sort of event.
I said 'sexy party, show up with a coat and your undergarments' and for weeks, I had people complain that they would be too embarassed.
The actual number of people in attendance? Double my expected number, which I had to cope with and made my evening a bit nutty. Well, nuttier than a 'frilly' party already would be.
Yes, even the most prudish/self conscious of his friends showed up. Granted, there were a few holdouts who came in jeans and tshirts, but they were definitely in the minority, and actually regretted not joining in on the fun.

Point. Maybe I'll do an end of semester party or something. Or Thanksgiving - it's fairly common for grad students to do holiday parties, since you have a lot of single young adults away from their families.


Brilliant! And to make it formal, one wears gloves. :smallbiggrin:

Sometimes you can trick people into wearing fancy clothes if the clothes are vintage. "Mad Men" is really popular right now, and many people seem to enjoy wearing clothes from the 1960's. Since contemporary designers often steal looks from shows, this makes it even easier. In fact, Banana Republic has a "Mad Men" line. So you could throw a "Mad Men" style party, and serve Old Fashioneds and faves from the old Betty Crocker cookbook, and groove to the tunes of the time.

.

Interesting. I'm definitely a competent cook, even if I don't do meat. I suspect a historical affair might draw more interest.

[Maxios]

I don't even know who that is. So I'm going to say yes, yes he is.

He's the guy Neil Patrick Harris plays in How I met your Mother.

If I had a suit, I would wear it everywhere. GameStop, the shower, McDonald's...

[SamBurke]

Honestly, you could wear it to class. Haters gonna hate?

Or Debate Clubs. Debate Clubs are pretty down with people wearing suits anywear. Yes I just did that. Haters ARE gonna hate.

[WarKitty]

Honestly, you could wear it to class. Haters gonna hate?

Or Debate Clubs. Debate Clubs are pretty down with people wearing suits anywear. Yes I just did that. Haters ARE gonna hate.

Clubs? We don't have clubs! And wearing the kind of stuff I'm talking about to class...that would be inappropriate, I feel.

[grimbold]

And wearing the kind of stuff I'm talking about to class...that would be inappropriate, I feel.

aren't you a grad student? you could maybe dress up and say that it's th proper wear for the university environment

[Alejandro]

It sounds like you're going to have to be the impetus. I can almost guarantee that there are people around you who feel the same way you do, but are not acting on it because they do not see anyone else acting on it.

For example, you'd be amazed how many people are into roleplaying games, or want to play one, but are terrified to actually say so, for fear that no one will know what they are talking about/will brand them a Satanic cult weirdo. My girlfriend wears earnings made from gaming dice, and the girl at the Taco Bell drive thru loved them, and thus we found out that girl is a gamer like us.

One other tip: If there is a fur salon in your area, see if you can volunteer or work there. You almost never, ever see shoddily dressed people in a group that has hundreds and thousands-dollar items. At least that has been my experience, buying such things for my girlfriend.

[WarKitty]

aren't you a grad student? you could maybe dress up and say that it's th proper wear for the university environment

I was talking about more evening wear.

[snoopy13a]

Thinking outside the box :smallbiggrin: :

1) Make friends with people about to get married
2) Get invited to wedding
3) Dress up

It isn't the most economically advantagous strategy as you'd have to buy a gift. Plus, according to my female friends, you always have to buy a new dress for a wedding :smalltongue: I always picture closets with a dozen or so dresses that have all been worn once.