Xefas
2012-08-11, 04:33 AM
This is an old game, but one with a concept that doesn't necessarily require a lot of computing power. It's a life-simulator of sorts, done entirely through text, similar to games such as the Kudos series, if you've heard of that. I wouldn't call it similar to things like the Sims, but if you like that kind of game, you may also like this. You play your life from a few moments before birth, making decisions, having experiences, taking risks and so on. There isn't much in the way of micro-managing, just a lot of "Important Event -> Make Important Decision -> Your Character is Modified".
You can play it for free from your browser here (http://www.playalterego.com/).
It's mostly self-explanatory, and you can get the hang of it very quickly. A full play-through only takes a few hours, so its not a huge time investment. I heartily suggest giving it a try, even if this kind of thing isn't typically your cup of tea. It certainly isn't mine. I like the grand strategy of Civilization/Master of Orion type things, deciding the fate of entire nations, conquering worlds, inflicting my will as a driving force throughout millennia. Sometimes I dabble elsewhere. But regardless, just playing a man - a single man, and his single life - was... surprisingly exciting.
I'll spoiler a summary of my own playthrough below, if you want to read about it. I just had to write it down, the game has me so pumped at the moment. If anyone here gives it a shot, I'd be interested in hearing about your own experiences and thoughts on the game.
I went into the whole affair with a game plan, of course. I'm used to doing that. When I sit down to play Civ, I've already got an idea in mind of how the game is going to go. I'm gonna be Egypt, and I'm gonna grab enough defensive techs to survive, go for a choice wonder or two (or six), and shoot for a tech victory, and I'm gonna win, dammit.
Here, there were plenty of choices. I could just try to be myself. Or, I'm a chef in real life - I never finished college. What if I had? Be myself, but take a path I'd forsaken? No, I wanted to do something more colorful. Like, go as eggheaded as possible and become the world's most renowned brain surgeon. Or perhaps I could go for something completely off-the-wall and make the angriest, burliest, heroinest bastard I could. Then again, perhaps a casanova? Sleep with absolutely every girl I ever meet and never settle down?
In the end, I decided to try for Mister Perfect! Basically, try my damnedest to never make any mistakes. Always say the right thing, always do the right thing, take just enough risks to be confident, but never enough to hurt me. Be honest, bold, gentle, calm, loving, intelligent, physically fit, empathetic, and with none of that pesky emotional baggage real people tend to accrue. Go to a good college, but nothing too extravagant. Get a nice job, but nothing crazy and stressful. Find a loyal and hardworking partner to share my life with and work through everything with no problems.
And, well, I pretty much did that! Life got in the way, on occasion, of course. As a baby, I played nice, made my parents feel great, never did anything bad (okay - I sprayed milk all over the floor and drooled into a woman's eye, but those were special circumstances), and was generally happy and smart. I learned to walk and talk very fast. My first word was "Mama". My grandma was awesome, and I liked her a lot. I had a dog, who liked to slobber on me.
As a kid, I was honest, with integrity and character suspiciously surpassing that of most children. I was patient, never complained, I let my dad sleep on his days off when he was tired, I passed up my favorite television show to do yardwork with him. I ate my mom's scary food and told her it was awesome. I comforted an old woman that the other kids were bullying, did odd jobs for her after school, and gave her a reason to live where they were sadly lacking previously. She gave me cookies. My goldfish died.
As a teenager, I had my first girlfriend. She was smart, and funny, and absolutely hot. We spent loads of time together. I was a physical and mental super-man, and women threw themselves at me left and right, but I shot them all down with saint-like temperance. I got an after-school job as an assistant in a law office, and made mad money, eventually buying a cutting-edge computer, and my own car. Somehow I found time to spend both with my own family, and making my girlfriend's family love me. I got caught drawing naked women in the school bathroom with a bunch of buddies, and we were all sent to detention. I was an accomplice to them slashing that teacher's tires. I saw my best friend commit suicide.
As an adult, I proposed to my highschool sweetheart. She dumped me. I enrolled in college as a business major. I got another girlfriend. She cheated on me and we broke up. I got in a fight with my philosophy teacher. I did charity work. I moved away from home, but still visited my parents every now and again. I got another girlfriend. She dumped me because I did some nude modeling for an art class. I bought a fancy watch. I got another girlfriend. I went on a business trip with my boss, and got fired because I refused to cheat on my girlfriend with some prostitutes he wanted to pick up. Later, my girlfriend cheated on me and we broke up. I got another girlfriend. I graduated college.
Progressing in age, I got an awesome job, and made stupid amounts of money. I got engaged with my girlfriend, threw a huge wedding, had a crazy extravagant honeymoon, and had all the sex. We chose to live in the big city, and bought a fancy condominium. And a sail boat. Did I mention stupid amounts of money? We worked out every marital problem that came our way. I even fixed other peoples' marriages, I was so good. I undid a man's drinking problem. I supported my wife as she went back to college. My dad had a heart attack, but lived. I payed off all my loans and mortgages.
Up to this point, I'd shrugged off nearly every bad thing that came my way. You might be looking at the above paragraphs and wondering where all the horrible stuff is that people go through. My stats were so good, they just bounced off of me. Health conditions? I resisted them all. Social problems - gossip at work, miscommunications, etiquette faux-pas? My emotional stats diffused them all. I was everything I wanted to be, cool, confident, fiercely intelligent, ambitious, empathetic, honest, trustworthy, and so on. Everything was perfect, more or less.
That continued into old age. As a geezer, I joined a softball team. I never had health issues. I kept going to the doctor, and he kept saying I was remarkably healthy for a man my age. The worst thing I ever got was heartburn. I maintained a healthy relationship with my wife. We loved each other very much, even though all the sex wasn't happened quite as much. I stayed bright and social, and participated in the community. I went on a cruise, jumped into the water after a drowning boy, saved his life, and became a hero. I was beloved by all, and everything was perfect. And then I died.
Yeah. I, uh... I died. I died. I just... I was alive, and then I went to sleep, and I died. I was dead. It sent me back to the title screen. Because I was dead. Nothing left. No text file with all of my achievements. No good ending/bad ending. No win/lose. No epilogue. I never found out what happened with my wife. I left a Last Will and Testament. But... I'm dead. Like, I died. And, that was it. Where's my high score for having 90+ in every stat? My steam achievement for setting foot into the grave as a statuesque ubermensch?
And, it kinda made me feel different than any game has ever managed to make me feel. I played it through in one sitting. Three hours, give or take. I could still remember all my triumphs, and... well, there were no failures on my part. I was perfect. I remember taking my first steps. I remember my first girlfriend (her name was Ruth). I remember all the funny tics and habits my wife had. She used to spear food off my plate at restaurants, which was infuriating. Did you know we were voted "Couple of the Year" in our neighborhood twice?
But it's all gone now. I don't have anything to remember myself by. If I play again, a thousand random things could go differently at any point, on any decision, and I'll have a different person. He won't be exactly the same. I can never recapture him. I was perfect. Perfect. Can you understand that? All of the little things that had to go just so, all of the careful planning, all of the thought, all of the love. And I'm ****ing dead. In all of the people who will ever play this game from now until it no longer exists, my perfect man will never be again. He'll never matter to any of you, and I'll probably forget he ever existed by next week. Two weeks tops.
I don't know what that means.
But it means something. And I'm going to bed. But probably not sleeping.
You can play it for free from your browser here (http://www.playalterego.com/).
It's mostly self-explanatory, and you can get the hang of it very quickly. A full play-through only takes a few hours, so its not a huge time investment. I heartily suggest giving it a try, even if this kind of thing isn't typically your cup of tea. It certainly isn't mine. I like the grand strategy of Civilization/Master of Orion type things, deciding the fate of entire nations, conquering worlds, inflicting my will as a driving force throughout millennia. Sometimes I dabble elsewhere. But regardless, just playing a man - a single man, and his single life - was... surprisingly exciting.
I'll spoiler a summary of my own playthrough below, if you want to read about it. I just had to write it down, the game has me so pumped at the moment. If anyone here gives it a shot, I'd be interested in hearing about your own experiences and thoughts on the game.
I went into the whole affair with a game plan, of course. I'm used to doing that. When I sit down to play Civ, I've already got an idea in mind of how the game is going to go. I'm gonna be Egypt, and I'm gonna grab enough defensive techs to survive, go for a choice wonder or two (or six), and shoot for a tech victory, and I'm gonna win, dammit.
Here, there were plenty of choices. I could just try to be myself. Or, I'm a chef in real life - I never finished college. What if I had? Be myself, but take a path I'd forsaken? No, I wanted to do something more colorful. Like, go as eggheaded as possible and become the world's most renowned brain surgeon. Or perhaps I could go for something completely off-the-wall and make the angriest, burliest, heroinest bastard I could. Then again, perhaps a casanova? Sleep with absolutely every girl I ever meet and never settle down?
In the end, I decided to try for Mister Perfect! Basically, try my damnedest to never make any mistakes. Always say the right thing, always do the right thing, take just enough risks to be confident, but never enough to hurt me. Be honest, bold, gentle, calm, loving, intelligent, physically fit, empathetic, and with none of that pesky emotional baggage real people tend to accrue. Go to a good college, but nothing too extravagant. Get a nice job, but nothing crazy and stressful. Find a loyal and hardworking partner to share my life with and work through everything with no problems.
And, well, I pretty much did that! Life got in the way, on occasion, of course. As a baby, I played nice, made my parents feel great, never did anything bad (okay - I sprayed milk all over the floor and drooled into a woman's eye, but those were special circumstances), and was generally happy and smart. I learned to walk and talk very fast. My first word was "Mama". My grandma was awesome, and I liked her a lot. I had a dog, who liked to slobber on me.
As a kid, I was honest, with integrity and character suspiciously surpassing that of most children. I was patient, never complained, I let my dad sleep on his days off when he was tired, I passed up my favorite television show to do yardwork with him. I ate my mom's scary food and told her it was awesome. I comforted an old woman that the other kids were bullying, did odd jobs for her after school, and gave her a reason to live where they were sadly lacking previously. She gave me cookies. My goldfish died.
As a teenager, I had my first girlfriend. She was smart, and funny, and absolutely hot. We spent loads of time together. I was a physical and mental super-man, and women threw themselves at me left and right, but I shot them all down with saint-like temperance. I got an after-school job as an assistant in a law office, and made mad money, eventually buying a cutting-edge computer, and my own car. Somehow I found time to spend both with my own family, and making my girlfriend's family love me. I got caught drawing naked women in the school bathroom with a bunch of buddies, and we were all sent to detention. I was an accomplice to them slashing that teacher's tires. I saw my best friend commit suicide.
As an adult, I proposed to my highschool sweetheart. She dumped me. I enrolled in college as a business major. I got another girlfriend. She cheated on me and we broke up. I got in a fight with my philosophy teacher. I did charity work. I moved away from home, but still visited my parents every now and again. I got another girlfriend. She dumped me because I did some nude modeling for an art class. I bought a fancy watch. I got another girlfriend. I went on a business trip with my boss, and got fired because I refused to cheat on my girlfriend with some prostitutes he wanted to pick up. Later, my girlfriend cheated on me and we broke up. I got another girlfriend. I graduated college.
Progressing in age, I got an awesome job, and made stupid amounts of money. I got engaged with my girlfriend, threw a huge wedding, had a crazy extravagant honeymoon, and had all the sex. We chose to live in the big city, and bought a fancy condominium. And a sail boat. Did I mention stupid amounts of money? We worked out every marital problem that came our way. I even fixed other peoples' marriages, I was so good. I undid a man's drinking problem. I supported my wife as she went back to college. My dad had a heart attack, but lived. I payed off all my loans and mortgages.
Up to this point, I'd shrugged off nearly every bad thing that came my way. You might be looking at the above paragraphs and wondering where all the horrible stuff is that people go through. My stats were so good, they just bounced off of me. Health conditions? I resisted them all. Social problems - gossip at work, miscommunications, etiquette faux-pas? My emotional stats diffused them all. I was everything I wanted to be, cool, confident, fiercely intelligent, ambitious, empathetic, honest, trustworthy, and so on. Everything was perfect, more or less.
That continued into old age. As a geezer, I joined a softball team. I never had health issues. I kept going to the doctor, and he kept saying I was remarkably healthy for a man my age. The worst thing I ever got was heartburn. I maintained a healthy relationship with my wife. We loved each other very much, even though all the sex wasn't happened quite as much. I stayed bright and social, and participated in the community. I went on a cruise, jumped into the water after a drowning boy, saved his life, and became a hero. I was beloved by all, and everything was perfect. And then I died.
Yeah. I, uh... I died. I died. I just... I was alive, and then I went to sleep, and I died. I was dead. It sent me back to the title screen. Because I was dead. Nothing left. No text file with all of my achievements. No good ending/bad ending. No win/lose. No epilogue. I never found out what happened with my wife. I left a Last Will and Testament. But... I'm dead. Like, I died. And, that was it. Where's my high score for having 90+ in every stat? My steam achievement for setting foot into the grave as a statuesque ubermensch?
And, it kinda made me feel different than any game has ever managed to make me feel. I played it through in one sitting. Three hours, give or take. I could still remember all my triumphs, and... well, there were no failures on my part. I was perfect. I remember taking my first steps. I remember my first girlfriend (her name was Ruth). I remember all the funny tics and habits my wife had. She used to spear food off my plate at restaurants, which was infuriating. Did you know we were voted "Couple of the Year" in our neighborhood twice?
But it's all gone now. I don't have anything to remember myself by. If I play again, a thousand random things could go differently at any point, on any decision, and I'll have a different person. He won't be exactly the same. I can never recapture him. I was perfect. Perfect. Can you understand that? All of the little things that had to go just so, all of the careful planning, all of the thought, all of the love. And I'm ****ing dead. In all of the people who will ever play this game from now until it no longer exists, my perfect man will never be again. He'll never matter to any of you, and I'll probably forget he ever existed by next week. Two weeks tops.
I don't know what that means.
But it means something. And I'm going to bed. But probably not sleeping.