Deadly Dungeon Delvers Dive Daily!

[Mordae]

It all started out well. A warm tavern, a good meal, a few pints, a glorious bard's tale of the treasure that awaits in the dragon's dismal den below the crumbling castle a day's hike to the north. Several cups in, you all swore a pact to claim the dragon's ill-gotten gold for yourselves, and by the next morning were met in the town square of Shiresville, armed to the teeth and fully equipped for your journey.

But, the weather turned for the worse by noon, and as darkness approaches a strong wind blows from the west and you are all thoroughly soaked as you journey along the dark, twisting path through the forest of gnarled pines. At length, the decrepit spires of the crumbling castle become illuminated by the intermittent flashes of lightning that presage each cacophanous thunderclap.

Up the cracked marble steps and to the decaying wooden doors, your quartet peers through the gaps to determine the antechamber is dark, dry, and--most importantly--devoid of anything that might resist you taking shelter while you search for the entrance to the dragon's den...

[rorikdude12]

Barston runs into the decrepit antechamber as fast as his little legs can carry him.

"This can be our base of operations for this expedition involving killing those capitalist monstrosities!"

[Gaius]

Paul isn't far behind the gnome. "This is definitely a good place to rest," he agrees with a smile. Still, the lad wasn't born yesterday; he's no stranger to stories of wanderers taking refuge from a storm and finding something odd. It's exciting, but keeps him cautious, snout and ears staying attentive.

[Mordae]

The noise of the storm is only slightly abated by the crumbling walls, but for the most part the roof keeps back the rain. Most of the interior doorways are in bad shape, but the heavy stone arch leading into the great hall is still strong. A cascade of leaking water prevents a clear view of the dais and throne of the long-forgotten king who ruled here.

[sonofzeal]

Iglam the Malevolent

A twisted rictus on his face and fingers gnarled into claws each time the lightning silhouetted him, Iglam has been cackling in increasing incoherence since the storm started but seems to calm down a bit once they locate the antechamber.

Striding on spindly legs into the throneroom, he snaps his fingers to conjure a lit torch (Conjurer Wizard: [roll0]).

[Mordae]

Flickering red light suddenly fills the room as Iglam's torch comes into existence. Ragged shreds of tapestries, soaked with rain water, are dangling from the stone buttresses that hold up the remaining roof. The once-gilded throne against the north wall is tarnished, and the velvet cushion that once padded the king's derriere is long-gone. An iron-banded door to the left of the throne, now heavily rusted, leads presumably to the royal apartments beyond.

[sonofzeal]

Iglam the Malevolent

Setting himself upon the throne, Iglam begins to monologue. "Yes.... YES! From this throneroom, the lines of my power will stretch forth across the land, corrupting the earth itself and crushing all those who would oppose me! My words become truths not even gods can defy, and my whims become lightning bolts that devastate the.... er, the.... capitalist swine?" Iglam casts a glance over to Barston. Even rampant megalomania and delusions of godhood must sometimes bow to the necessity of preserving allegiances. There'd be time to cut loose later. His lip twitches with the effort of containing the rest of the monologue, but he manages. For now.

[Maeglin_Dubh]

Christmas pats himself down, looking for a deck of cards. He glances around the room, trying to decide which way to go from here. Cards found, he starts shuffling and drawing cards at random.

"If we go this way I foresee...." An ace of hearts. "Death. And if we go that way instead, I foresee..." A three of clubs. "Also death. Not ours, necessarily, you understand, cartomancy is a vague and nebulous art."

[Gaius]

Paul grunts loudly at Iglam's choice of words. He might advance to actually asking the rest of the group to lay off the denigratory remarks when he's standing right there. At least when he's not doing something to warrant it.

Speaking of, all the days travels have made the hog-child hungry. So, despite knowing the chamber might have dangers -- their... let's say "seer" even warning them of imminent death (again) -- he decides to follow his nose toward anything he might find edible. Who knows? He might find something else of interest when he's at it. (Optimistic Pig-Boy: [roll0])

[Mordae]

The old throne creaks in protest under Iglam's weight, but does not give way. A flash of lightning illuminates him briefly, giving him a regal and foreboding appearance.

Paul snuffles his way over to the door. There are other smells, of course, but he can smell food a mile away and it is definitely available behind the iron-banded portal.

[sonofzeal]

Iglam the Malevolent

"Er.... nothing personal, Paul. Capitalist... uh.... capitalist... heathens? Yes! Devastate the capitalist heathens! MwahahahhaHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" But the joy seems to have gone out of it, and Iglam rises to examine the doors with his allies.

[Mordae]

The door apparently once had a lock, but blackened marks on the iron plate indicate it was forcibly opened at one point--probably by magic, Iglam surmises. Aside from the rusty hinges, it appears it should not be difficult to open.

[rorikdude12]

Barston tries to blow open the door by flipping open a page of the book and using a spell with a door illustration.

[roll0]

[rorikdude12]

Barston tries to blow open the door by flipping open a page of the book and using a spell with a door illustration.

[roll0]

[Mordae]

The door flies open with a rusty shriek, banging against the stone wall and sending up a loud BOOM! that echoes among the decaying rafters. Beyond is not a passage into opulence, but a dank stone stairwell leading down into darkness. A handful of yellowed bones can be seen on the first few steps.

[Gaius]

Paul gives the gnome's opening an impressed, "Wow." Door gone, though, the scent is stronger, so he returns to what's important. He licks his chops. "I can smell food ahead. I'm not sure what it is, but hey, it's dinner." Granted, the pig's definition of food is... more generous than his companions', but it's a win for their food supplies either way. He still tries to sort out what kind of meal he'll be wolfing down.

Paul gives a squeal of a gasp at the bones, but collects himself quickly. He takes point in the dark descent. His formative years as a pickpocket qualify him for the Rogue class, which apparently lets him stealthily explore poorly lit, cavernous places despite having never visited one. Handy! He lets his snout (and the scent it follows) make up the difference in sensory information.
(Cute Innocent Rogue: [roll0])

[sonofzeal]

Iglam the Malevolent strides down the corridor after Paul, his crimson robes billowing around him, heel crushing one of the skulls as he passes.

[rorikdude12]

Barston strides sown after Iglam as he murmurs about capitalist doors...

[Maeglin_Dubh]

Isaiah follows the rest, pausing to spin a card between his fingers as he regards the remnants of the skull. He lets the card fall amidst the pile of bone, noting what side it landed on and how many bits it disturbed. Satisfied, he retrieves the card and hurries to catch up.

[Mordae]

You reach the bottom of the stairs, a dimly lit chamber with stone walls and floors that bears a thick layer of barely disturbed dust. In the east wall is a wooden door of similar construction to the one at the top of the stairs. There is a heavy wooden chest near one corner and some ratty tapestries hung on the south wall, but otherwise the place is undecorated.

As your first footsteps echo through the room, a trio of beady-eyed rats peers out from behind the chest. They look hungry, and you look like dinner.



o----------o
| |
| <P |
| BIC +
| |
| (r|
| rr|
o----------o


Squares are 5'.

P = Paul
C = Isaiah Christmas
I = Iglam the Malevolent
B = Barston

r = rat

< = stairs up
( = chest
+ = door

[rorikdude12]

Barston sees the hungry rats. He doubts he can take them with his sword. He walks towards them, then flips to a spell with pictures of fire and casts it.

[roll0]

[sonofzeal]

Iglam the Malificent

Seeing the innocent rats get barbequed, Iglam's heart melts. "No! Don't!" he yells, and tries to pacify them with bits of cheese and peanut butter.

(Animal-lover [roll0])

[sonofzeal]

Iglam the Malificent

Seeing the innocent rats get barbequed, Iglam's heart melts. "No! Don't!" he yells, and tries to pacify them with bits of cheese and peanut butter.

(Animal-lover [roll0])

[Gaius]

Paul suspects the overlord and accidental wizard are more than enough for three rats. That being the case, he turns his attention to the chest and door, cheerily defusing any traps or other issues he might run into with them. And taking stock of any valuables from the former.

That said, if the rats decide ham's on the menu, he puts his skill with a knife to work on them. Not killing them, though. He wouldn't brook with that normally and besides. Like Iglam, he has some sympathy for the little blighters -- albeit less from loving animals than feeling a connection to all filth-loving critters -- and so merely bonks them unconscious. (Cute Innocent Rogue: [roll0] )

[Mordae]

Barston's incantations result in a tiny little flame that starts at the tail of one of the rats and rapidly consumes the animal, leaving only a puff of smoke. Before any more harm can come to his small friends, Iglam rushes forward and pacifies the second rat with a bit of cheese that is gratefully accepted. The third rat tries to take a bite out of Paul, but the ham-fisted lad KO's the rodent with a swift knock to the head--POW!

A quick test of the chest reveals that it is locked.


[roll0]
[roll1]
[roll2]

[rorikdude12]

"Don't worry! We have a way to deal with this in Mother Gnome Russia!"

Barston picks the lock using his tinkering know-how, then pockets it for later use.

[roll0]

[Maeglin_Dubh]

Isaiah pulls a club card from the deck and his eyes flash briefly, spinning the card idly as it begins to glow. He waits to see if the gnome can unlock the chest before attempting to shatter the lock with an impact card.

[roll0]

[Mordae]

Barston picks at the lock for a bit but can't manage to budget it. Then, Isaiah tosses a playing card that flashes in the light en route to bouncing off the lock. The chest seems disinterested in being opened...


Target roll is 10. Paul/Iglam should get a go next.

[Gaius]

Paul tries his own luck with lockpicking, humming something chipper. Most of his experience has involved a moving target, usually following along with a merchant's wagon and pilfering a few things as he goes. He's thus fairly blase about the process, though looks forward to assessing the take. (Cute Innocent Rogue [roll0])

He tries for conversation. "So, what do you think we'll find further in? I mean, food, yeah, but what else?"

[Mordae]

The lock yields quickly under Paul's cloven-hooved skill. Inside are three items:

a purple-red potion
a scroll labelled ELBIB YLOH
a scroll labelled GARVEN DEH

[rorikdude12]

The lock yields quickly under Paul's cloven-hooved skill. Inside are three items:

a purple-red potion
a scroll labelled ELBIB YLOH
a scroll labelled GARVEN DEH

Barston copies down the symbols on the scrolls into his spellbook. [roll0]

"Well, now we know. Let's be off."

[Gaius]

Paul plucks out the potion, frowning slightly. Well, it's edible, but he was hoping for something more... robust, he supposes. Still, the flavor could make up for it and that sets his little curly tail to wagging. He proceeds to snuffle at it, drinking in the aroma, alongside all the important traits -- smell, likely flavor, texture, component ingredients and their preparations... Maybe even what it does. (Optimistic Pig-boy [roll0])

It should be abundantly clear what Paul will probably be doing with the potion if nobody takes action.

[sonofzeal]

Iglam quietly pockets the scrolls after Barston is done with them. If that ELBIB YLOH was what he though it was, it might be useful. He peers at the twisting runes to decifer its true meaning and power.

Conjurer Wizard [roll0]
And Conjurer Wizard [roll1] for deciphering GARVEN DEH too.

[Mordae]

Paul suddenly feels new energy and can run at twice his normal speed!

Iglam can't quite discern what the scrolls are for. He pockets them and hopes for a better time to study them in detail.

The door swings open easily, and the troupe proceeds into a narrow, musty stone corridor lit only by Iglam's torch. It weaves and winds for quite some ways before coming to another faintly illuminated chamber. This room has three doorways, all open arches with no wood; one leads north, another east, and another (through which the party entered) west. A small fountain in one corner bubbles and froths merrily, the only decoration in the space. There is a also discarded mace lying near the east door.

[rorikdude12]

Barston, feeling INCREDIBLY thirsty, drinks from the fountain.

[Mordae]

The cool draught of water is incredibly refreshing for the thirsty communist.

Somewhere in the distance, an odd sound carries through the old stone corridor. It sounds like a hawker advertising his wares...

[sonofzeal]

Iglam strains his ears to the north and east exists, hoping for a hint of where the sound might be coming from. Greed and corruption always rang in the clattering of coins, and it was a sound he was especially sensitive too.

(Eeeeeevil Human [roll0])

[rorikdude12]

Barston tries to detect the noise... He must KILL the capitalist...

[roll0]

[Mordae]

By best guess, the sound seems to be coming from the east doorway.

[rorikdude12]

Barston sprints up to the eastern doorway and tries to open the eastern door.

[sonofzeal]

Iglam follows Barston, hoping to forstall the inevitable carnage. Giant flaming demons of the abyss didn't intimidate Iglam, but he'd learned not to underestimate shopkeepers.....

[Gaius]

Paul looks up with a grunt from lapping at the bottle's interior, and then follows his companions toward the merchant. Possibly making him the first to arrive, fleet of hoof as he suddenly is. The swine has high expectations: merchants in the depths of a dungeon always have impressive stuff or are otherwise worthy of note.

[Mordae]

Potion-aided Paul is the first one to rush through the eastern doorway and along the dark passage to the next room. Suddenly, the pig-boy pulls up short. The chamber ahead is not a shop--in fact, it's crawling with walking corpses! The beasts appear to have once been short, scaly kobolds, but now they are soulless abominations. "Brainsssss," they hiss as one, reaching out for the flesh of the living...

Ragged tapestries drape the south and east walls. Additionally, there is a wooden chest sitting near the southeast corner of the room.



o-------+--o
| Z|
-BI Z |
|CP (Z |
| Z |
o----------o


B Barston
I Iglam
P Paul
C Isaiah Christmas

Z Kobold zombie

( Chest


Initiative goes to the players.

[rorikdude12]

Barston stabs a mzombie through its eyeafter vaulting over Iglam.

"Capitalist Ambush!"

[roll0]

[Gaius]

((Sorry for the delays))

Paul squeals in surprise at the adversaries. Arms flail to keep his balance as little hooves skid on the stone floor; the little porker nearly falls flat on his snout. Still, zombie kobolds sound menacing, which means they've found their way into many a story. In which they've had a surprisingly common (and specific) frailty. "Left knee!" he shouts to his companions, weaving around one of the undead kobolds to stab his knife at the described locale.
(Trope-spotting Story Lover [roll0]

[sonofzeal]

Iglam

Iglam stretches his bony fingers wide, crimson cloak billowing behind hi in an unseen breeze. "Ahaha! Fellow creatures of darkness and corruption, heed my call!"

Eeeeevil Human, [roll0]/[roll1]/[roll2], trying to gain control of the necromantic forces animating one of them. Preferably one that hasn't been kneecap'd already.

[Mordae]

Paul and Barston rush into combat, striking clean blows against their enemies and sending zombie parts splattering across the dusty stone floor. Iglam tries in vain to slow his allies' assault, which clearly has a deleterious effect on his attempt to win over one of the living dead to his side. The two remaining ones shamble toward him, not to serve but to be served dinner.

"Not so fast, our brains are not in the cards for tonight" Isaiah Christmas quips as he sends a razor-sharp playing card spinning through the air. It neatly bisects the left knee of one of the revenants, reducing it to an easily dispatchable heap on the floor.

All good--except for the remaining zombie stretching out for Iglam's tasty grey matter...

"Bargain prices!" calls the unseen shopkeeper from a distance.


IC's card attack: [roll0]

Zombie defenses:
vs Barston: [roll1]
vs Iglam: [roll2]
vs Paul: [roll3]
vs IC: [rollv]2d6[/rollv

Rolling a few times to try and get a 4d6=12 for Barston's individual dice rolls:
[roll4]
[roll5]
[roll6]
[roll7]
[roll8]
[roll9]
[roll10]
[roll11]
[roll12]
[roll13]

Close enough.

[rorikdude12]

Barston leaps in front of Iglam and prepares to parry the blows of his undead foes!

"Summon something, silly mage!"

[roll0]

[Gaius]

Paul's aspirations of heroism mean his face lights up with glee, and a hint of adulation, at Isaiah's display and remark. "So cool..." he says absently.

Still, their trials aren't over, so Paul's fanboying will have to wait. Should the communist turn out to need the help, the potion-powered porker bolts forward to turn his knife on The People's Zombie. Afterward (or instead), it's onto The People's Chest.Cute Innocent Rogue: [roll0] for the zombie, or the chest if it's bitten the dust
[roll1] for the chest, if the zombie's knee remained intact

[Mordae]

Barston heroically stands in front of Iglam, blocking a couple of clumsy swings from the zombie. Paul then darts in from behind, neatly bisecting the zombie's left knee and ending the threat.

The chest yields quickly to the pig-faced rogue's skill. Within are three food rations and an effervescent potion.

[rorikdude12]

Barston grabs the potion and continues towards the shopkeeper.

[Mordae]

Barston leads the way through the door to the north as hungry Paul presumably picks up the food rations that had teased his nose from upstairs. Paul's sudden burst of speed from the potion appears to have worn off.

The foursome pick their way through the dusty stone-walled passages, only to arrive at another chamber that is definitely not a shop. This small room is inhabited by strange varicolored mushrooms (one yellow, one red, one purple), the last of which emits an ear-piercing shriek as the heroes approach! Aside from the threatening fungi, there is a set of stone stairs leading down into darkness...



o----o
|FF >|
| F|
o-B--o
IC
P

F yellow, red, purple mushrooms (from left to right)
B Barston
I Iglam
C Isaiah Christmas
P Paul


Party action.

[rorikdude12]

Barston leaps forth to skewer a purple mushroom!

[roll0]

[Gaius]

Paul does indeed collect the rations with a grunt of good cheer. Still, much as he'd like to introduce the food to his snout, he decides to restrain himself for now. Mostly to prove he can, though he offers some to anyone who's hungry. He supposes practice seems wise, as it's something he'd have to get good at if he wants to be a hero. Much as such thoughts make him wonder if that is what he wants.

Restraint can only be pushed so far, though. The mushroom's scream is followed by a squeal from Paul, who brings a hand to a floppy ear. Fortunately, mushroom sounds like just the thing to cheer him up -- no need to root for them, even. He charges the fungi with a vaguely fearsome squeal, and pigs out on whichever one smells tastiest (or, failing that, least deadly).

(Optimistic Pig-boy: [roll0])

[sonofzeal]

Iglam turns up his nose. Fungus! How demeaning! With a snap of his wrists he conjures some fungicide to dispense with whichever one the other two have thus far left unmolested.

Conjurer Wizard [roll0][roll1][roll2][roll3]

[Mordae]

Barston slices through the purple mushroom with his blade, leaving both halves dead. The pathetic fungus lets out a bit of a shriek as it plops to the ground.

Paul bites into the red mushroom but finds it has a bite of its own! The poor pig-boy's mouth seems to catch flames as the heat from the strange fungus sears his muscled tongue. (Lose one die from Optimistic Pig-Boy cliche)

A sickly-sweet cloud envelops the yellow mushroom, which seems to wilt a bit under the assault but doesn't go entirely to ground. It seems even the diabolic forces of Iglam's magic cannot overcome the common sense laws that limit overapplication of pesticides.


Rerolling for Barston--need to remember to use rollv! [roll0]
Yellow mushroom spory goodness [roll1]
Red mushroom capsaicin [roll2]
Purple mushroom natural rubberiness [roll3]
Purple mushroom shriek [roll4]

[Maeglin_Dubh]

Isaiah brings his hands up, a card in each, and heads over to the staircase to head off anything that might be coming up in response to the sounds of the struggle.

[Gaius]

Paul looses a blending of squeal and scream as he jerks his snout back. He opens his mouth to let the injured tongue loll out. The subterranean air likely helps, if only psychologically.

Tears well up at the corners of Paul's eyes, but fury begins to shine through the centers. He gives an aggressive snort, not unlike a wild boar, and readies his blades. There may not be a recipe calling for it, but he's eager to mince some mushrooms.
Cute Innocent Rogue: [roll0]

[sonofzeal]

Iglam, foiled in his previous attempt, resorts to harsher methods. Speaking some of the darkest words of power in all creation and uncreation, he attempted to ignite the shrooms with unholy fire....


IIRC I took damage to Eeeeevil Human before, and that means I roll one less die there, right?

[roll0][roll1]

If I'm mistaken, here's the third: [roll2]

[rorikdude12]

Barston turns, and slices through both the freakish fungi!

[roll0]

[Mordae]

A flash of red light fills the room as Iglam summons a blaze of fire to destroy the yellow mushroom, ending its spory threat for all eternity.

Paul rushes forward, knives flashing, but even as he carves into the red mushroom it strikes back with extreme heat! The poor rogue finds his hands burned as well as his tongue.

Fortunately, before the pig-boy can immolate himself further, Barston charges in and ends the threat with icy Russian efficiency.

The stairwell that Isaiah guards looks dark and cold, and a bit of a stink wafts up from below.


Yellow mushroom spory goodness [roll0]
Red mushroom capsaicin [roll1]

[rorikdude12]

Barston goes down the stairs, cold fell hatred motivating him, pushing him toward the capitalist.

[Gaius]

Paul's fingers twinge at their burns as he picks up the knife, wincing. "Th-Thank you," he stammers at Barston's back. He starts after the commie, a bit less exuberant than before. Losing to a mushroom has shaken his confidence, and the lad begins to wonder if there's much he's good for.

Paul gets a less than pleasant answer, snout wrinkling. Not from the stench wafting up -- though it doesn't help -- but the smell from his hands and tongue. It's a rather powerful aroma of roasted ham. It makes him feel uncomfortable. Not because he thinks he smells tasty, but because he's certain there's plenty that will. Possibly even his companions. Still, though he gulps and trembles, the little pig sets one cloven hoof in front of the other down the stairs. He gives some of the rations a nervous nibble.

[Mordae]

Barston leads the way down the dark staircase into the chamber below. It's somewhat warmer here, and dry as well, and the smell of wood smoke wafts up from below. The room appears to be well-traveled; at the moment a trio of goblins are camping around a fire near the northeast corner. One of them grunts something, and six beady eyes immediately look toward the stairs--though none immediately draw the daggers sheathed at their belts.

There is a closed wooden door leading south, but no other obvious portals.



o--------------o
| g |
| g~g |
| |
| P |
| C<I |
| B |
o----+---------o

[rorikdude12]

Barston sheathes his rapier and approaches calmly.

"Hello, comrades! Do you know of a shop around here?"

[Mordae]

The lead goblin grunts and waves his hand toward the stairs. One of his comrades leans closer to the other two and says, "You smell bakon?" The trio share a semi-private snicker.

[rorikdude12]

Barston chuckles and runs down the stairs towards the shop.

[Gaius]

Paul's face turns from pink to red as he half-squeals, "Nnnope!" before bolting after Barston.

[Mordae]

Barston and Gaius turn and head back up the stairs, nearly bowling over Iglam and Isaiah in the process of returning to the first level in search of the mysterious shopkeeper.

[rorikdude12]

Barston goes back down the stairs, then exits through the south door.