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JennTora
2012-10-07, 06:31 PM
So, the most outrageous lie you've gotten someone to believe? In game of course.

In my case there was this devil we managed to wake up, and it looked at us menacingly demanding to know who woke it up. My sorceress' response:

"It was the one armed man."(success)

The devil then looked around and turned back to my character

"I see no one armed man."

"He ran off that way(points in random direction), he's just really fast"(success)

The devil then flew off in the direction I pointed.

Also.

Lawful good party member: No, I don't want to brutally murder those people in that castle.

Sorceress: but it's for the greater good.

LGPM: Oh. Okay.

(There was no way to advance the story without all that so it was technically true. And might be considered poor dming, but whatever.)

There's a couple more I can't remember. Also I feel like I've posted this before, but I looked through the pages and I didn't see it, but forgive me if I'm wrong.

MesiDoomstalker
2012-10-07, 08:47 PM
Not bluff, but I once intimidated time to stop flowing. Kind of back fired because my character got frozen in time with everyone else. After a series of will rolls and reasoning on why a particular character would ignore my character's demand (thus making them immune to the time stopping effect), the party finally freed itself.

Ya, that was a silly session. I should probably mention it was in a weird quasi-plane place where the laws of phsyics were even less defined than normal DnD setting.

Kelb_Panthera
2012-10-07, 09:56 PM
I spent half a campaign with the rest of the party convinced that my UMD rogue was a paladin. We never looked at each others character sheets and the DM rolled bluff/sense motive in secret. They finally figured me out when blew the will save in a zone of truth. Stupid poor will save.

TuggyNE
2012-10-07, 10:48 PM
I spent half a campaign with the rest of the party convinced that my UMD rogue was a paladin. We never looked at each others character sheets and the DM rolled bluff/sense motive in secret. They finally figured me out when blew the will save in a zone of truth. Stupid poor will save.

What, you didn't have protection from evil on? :smalltongue:

Kelb_Panthera
2012-10-07, 10:54 PM
What, you didn't have protection from evil on? :smalltongue:

Nope. Didn't think about it. I was still fairly new and hadn't discovered the playground yet.

Riverdance
2012-10-09, 07:10 PM
I spent half a campaign with the rest of the party convinced that my UMD rogue was a paladin. We never looked at each others character sheets and the DM rolled bluff/sense motive in secret. They finally figured me out when blew the will save in a zone of truth. Stupid poor will save.
Wow, playing without ever seeing each other's characters sounds like a great way to do it. I want to try that.

JohnnyCancer
2012-10-10, 06:27 AM
Several years ago I played a friend's homebrew D&D 3.5 game. While the party was traversing the wilderness, we successfully spotted some hobgoblins laying in wait for an ambush before they saw us. For lulz my character who spoke the Goblin language said "Boy, these disguises are great!"

Despite it being a weak lie delivered facetiously, the DM bombed the sense motive check and the hobgoblins got out from their hiding places to question us rather than attack. Of course we attacked them first.

Later I took over as DM and another friend who was playing a troll (occupational troll not an actual monster troll) managed to bluff some of his fellow players into entering an unstable building, assuring them it was structurally sound. The roof collapsed on them.

Socratov
2012-10-10, 06:38 AM
My party and I needed a ship. So there is this nation that buys off pirates to not attack their fleet and they send the money with the ship. It's nice because with the ship comes a document telling hte nations ruling council is corrupt etc. (exactly what we need). So we get on boeard, kill the gaurds, steal the money and the ship. show our employer theevidence we discovered. Got a great upgrade on gear (lvl 6 10k gold :smallbiggrin:) and sailed to the pirates. here we enter they recognise us as the boat that shoudl bring the bribe. I bluff:

"Sorry guys, we were supposed to deliver the money, but they didnt give any. We didnt even get any. we just got kicked out i guess" (success)

I succeeded so epicly that the pirates instantly make me their military leader (I was a dread pirate at the time) and start to harrass tradeships. With the money that comes in we pimp my ship to an Ironwood hull and mast and fireproof sails and 2 double barrelled ballistas. for free.

eulmanis12
2012-10-10, 10:12 AM
I bluffed a guard that was chasing me down a street, "You have commited crimes against skyri--- I mean The Kingdom and its people you are under arrest" It worked and I then proceded to lock the guard up in his own jail

MichaelGoldclaw
2012-10-10, 06:54 PM
This is the complete opposite of it

Cult leader with many buffs applying for bluff (neither known at the time)
"you'll be safe trust me"

natural 20 scene motive

"F*** No"

Sajiri
2012-10-10, 08:09 PM
This one shouldn't count I suppose since it failed, but it was amusing none the less.

Happened in our last session, we were hunting down info on some anti magic discs and a guy who stole them from us and found ourselves in some club face to face with it's mafioso type leader. Our bard went afk so I tried taking over as the talker myself to keep it rolling (only missing a terrible battle by getting an extremely lucky roll).

Informed the guy, Deckard, that we were after this man because he robbed us, but the half orc barbarian didn't seem to like me divulging any info to this guy.

Deckard: Oh my that's no good, what'd he steal?
Barbarian: My CHASTITY!
Everyone: *wtf*
Barbarian: Well he looked soft, like you, after some drinks next thing I knew I was violated!
Deckard: ......*turns back to my character* What did he steal?

Kitten Champion
2012-10-10, 08:54 PM
"This is not the sorcerer you're looking for"

My sorcerer, after having been identified from his wanted poster. Worked... twice, before my bluff skill failed me.

BootStrapTommy
2012-10-11, 03:28 PM
Goliath to a halfling: "I'm actually just a really tall halfling." (success)

JennTora
2012-10-11, 06:08 PM
Goliath to a halfling: "I'm actually just a really tall halfling." (success)

*nearly dies laughing*

Riverdance
2012-10-11, 06:56 PM
In game? I convinced the rogue that ordering the house special from an inn called "The Magic Mushroom" in the Wizard's City was a good idea. Out of character he totally knew what was up, but that didn't stop his character from eating two heaping bowlfuls, talking to his bedsheets for a while, and trying to feed a love potion to his doorknob before passing out.

BootStrapTommy
2012-10-12, 02:50 PM
*nearly dies laughing*

Would it make you laugh more if I informed you that my goliath was under the effect of the party wizard's Greater Enlarge Person?

karkus
2012-10-12, 04:25 PM
Would it make you laugh more if I informed you that my goliath was under the effect of the party wizard's Greater Enlarge Person?

"I'm an extra-super tall halfling."

Heliomance
2012-10-12, 08:31 PM
Ah, my ridiculously charismatic high level Copper Dragon Bard got a few good one of these. I'll recount my favourite two.

First, there's the time I managed to bluff reality itself. I was telling a group of young dragons a story that I made up out of whole cloth, about the Oyster King in his underwater palace, and his magical Rainbow Pearl the size of a cow. I rolled stupidly well on my Perform (Oratory) check - I think I actually broke 100 - and the children were so inspired that they decided to go off and look for it.

A few hour later they returned - with the Rainbow Pearl. Which hadn't existed until I told the story.


The other time was when one of the other party members convinced Hlal, the draconic trickster goddess, to turn me bright pink as a prank. Well, the best way to take something like that is to run with it as far and as fast as you can, especially as I was trying to woo Hlal at the time. Yes, it was that sort of power level. I was seriously trying to seduce a goddess.

Anyway, I, newly pink, went flying off to the Council of Wyrms, the governing body of the dragons, in a great state. Looking harried and terrified, I told them that I was one of a few survivors of a previously unknown tribe of Rose Dragons that had been utterly devastated when the Tarrasque had attacked recently. I begged for their help, that the Rose Dragons wouldn't become extinct. And I got a stupidly good result on my bluff check.

So for the next week, dozens of dragons combed the jungles, searching for a lost tribe of Rose Dragons that existed only in my imagination!

LibraryOgre
2012-10-14, 10:30 AM
"I speak orc."

So, our group came upon an encampment of orcs. They weren't immediately hostile, but they were definitely ready to rumble if we started anything, and my little gnomish feylock turned to the party and said "I'll handle this, I speak orc."

Naturally, I crit this bluff, and even the half-orc agrees to let me speak.

I step forward, and simply announce "Orcorcorcorcorc!"

The GM blinks, says "Ok", and then has us roll for initiative.

This was the game where I never rolled below a 17 to Bluff the party.

Jay R
2012-10-17, 08:59 PM
Wow, playing without ever seeing each other's characters sounds like a great way to do it. I want to try that.

If you're trying to hide something from the players, don't avoid sharing your character sheet with them; have a fake one in front of you. (The DM has to be in on the joke.)

In a western game, I told everybody that I was considering basing my character on a TV western hero. Then I showed up with a Chinese kung fu master named Cali Yang. Everyone knew I'd decided to base him on Kwai-Chang Caine from Kung Fu.

We'd played for about five sessions, covering two months, when we needed to convince somebody in authority that we were legitimate. My character said, "I'll be right back," went off, washed the dye off his skin, changed clothes, and returned as Federal Marshal Cal Young. I then produced a different character sheet with identical stats but very different skills.

One of the players said, "I thought you were going to play a TV hero."

I replied, "Of course. I based the character design on Artemis Gordon" (the disguise artist from The Wild, Wild West).

TheRedWidow
2012-10-18, 11:50 PM
Amateurs. We invented an entire COUNTRY.

Heliomance
2012-10-19, 02:36 AM
Amateurs. We invented an entire COUNTRY.

I think mine are on a similar level to that, at least.

Der_DWSage
2012-10-19, 02:56 AM
Weeeell, it wasn't a bluff check per se, but it was a collection of events that occurred while playing a high-level Beguiler, so you just know it was full of shenanigans.

We were playing through the old, old, old module of a Paladin in Hell. It involved going down to the 4th circle of Hell and getting past Gerion's castle. My solution? Trickery. (And getting the Paladin to shut his bleedin' mouth.)

Mass illusion spell to make us all seem like devils of various types. Undetectable alignment on the whole party, because most of us were Good of various flavors. Nystul's Magic Aura, to make it believable that we were demons.

Then we run into Amon himself.

'Oh, good day sir, trusted lieutenant of Gerion himself. We're representatives from a Tiefling hoping to curry favor with your master-mind showing us to the front lines so we can shore them up a bit?'

*Success*

After that? We came to the church itself, which was rather heavily infested with devils of all sorts. So, we start fighting our way through, figuring that we'd use my Circlet of 'Forbiddance' to keep the church safe from scry-and-die tactics afterwards. We get to a room full of devils...and I pull out the old 'Friend to Foe' spell, where a 30-foot radius of opponents believes that all their allies are now horrible, disfigured things that they absolutely must attack.

I was a pacifist. So, the save DC was ridiculous. I also had all the 'break through SR' feats I could cram in.

Every single one of them was a victim to it. And due to an earlier DM ruling, 'Friend to Foe' worked differently on them than on most targets.

Every single one of them thought their allies had turned into angels, devas, and archons.

Every single one fled rather than deal with a holy host.

Forbiddance was cast.

And then I realized that they would all be reporting to Asmodeus himself that there was a holy host inside the Church, and with 'Forbiddance' up, there was no way for them to get back in past the Paladin guarding the front door. They were forced to believe that the entire place was lost to them, because somehow, we'd gotten angels into Hell without their approval.

So yeah. My level 15 Beguiler tricked Asmodeus. Not directly, but he did it anyway. And that, my friends, was worth all the drinks and favors when we got back to the Material Plane.

Doorhandle
2012-10-19, 05:19 AM
Damn good showing, if you pardon the pun.

Just have reservations for your afterlife, because it's inevitable that Asmodeus will find out, and OH MAN is he gonna be pissed. Unless he thinks you're clever. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArsonMurderAndAdmiration)

Sith_Happens
2012-10-19, 07:45 AM
Then we run into Amon himself.

*GASP* Did he take your bending spellcasting!?
...Well I thought it was funny.

BootStrapTommy
2012-10-19, 12:53 PM
"I speak orc."

So, our group came upon an encampment of orcs. They weren't immediately hostile, but they were definitely ready to rumble if we started anything, and my little gnomish feylock turned to the party and said "I'll handle this, I speak orc."

Naturally, I crit this bluff, and even the half-orc agrees to let me speak.

I step forward, and simply announce "Orcorcorcorcorc!"

The GM blinks, says "Ok", and then has us roll for initiative.

This was the game where I never rolled below a 17 to Bluff the party.

"I speak common"

*Rolls a high enough bluff check to successfully bluff speaking common*
Succeeds.

Marillion
2012-10-20, 12:18 AM
I had a fellow in my group who was great for this sort of thing. This, I think, is his best.

In 7th Sea, Pyryem is a powerful shapeshifting magic that's only available to the equivalent of the Russians. It's also a very well-kept secret; few people outside of Ussura even know of its existence, and fewer actually believe these rumours. All they know is that Ussurans are good at handling animals, and tend to have BRIGHT green eyes.

So there we were, our ragtag band of misfits in deep (DEEP) doodoo. We were trapped in a house with no way out, surrounded by the Lightning Guard, the elite personal guard of L'Empereur. Apparently, they don't like it when people kidnap/liberate the Queen. As the most (read: only) accomplished swordsman in our group, I did not fancy our chances. Yes, I was a match for any two of them, but there were rather more than two men bearing down on us. I'd been against this plan from the start, of course. I knew it would go wrong. It always does. This wasn't even the worst case scenario; at least the Queen had made it to safety. That said, I was prepared, nay, exultant to die while sticking it to L'Empereur. Dmitri had other plans.

Our Ussuran companion was a mysterious fellow. He did not allow anyone into his wagon, and though he was friendly enough, he never revealed any more about himself than he absolutely had to. We didn't even know he was married until we had rescued her from slavers that we'd spent the past month chasing. Five days after we rescued her. He mostly preferred to act through his exceedingly well-trained companions, a raven, a monkey, and the ugliest boar you've ever seen. We had suspicions that he, or the animals, were not what they seemed to be, but we could never prove anything.

Well, Dmitri heard the shouts of the Lightning Guard outside our haven. He smelled the fuel the Guard were about to use to burn us out. He saw the grim faces on his friends, prepared to die. He took all of this in, he looked around, and he said "Alright. Screw this. Get ready to run." He used his superior size to shove me away from the door. He flicked the beads in his hair.

And he transformed, rather quickly I think though I have no basis for comparison, into an enormous scaled beast with talons each the size of my hand, and teeth the size of my forearm. We'd had a run-in with one of these creatures, from which we barely escaped with our lives. This was the legendary, the fearsome, the terrible

"D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-DRACHEN!"

It smashed down the wall and began to tear through the dumbfounded guards, sending men flying like so much glass broken against a wall. The Lightning Guard momentarily broke before its might, which was all the opening we needed to make our escape. Running like Legion itself was howling at our backs (and it may as well have been), we scattered and individually made our way to our prearranged back-up safehouse. We arrived within minutes of each other. Dmitri, naturally, was the last to arrive. Before we can say anything, he answers all of our questions.

"Holy crap! Guys, did you see that Drachen!?"

He never did admit to it.

whydoibover
2012-10-20, 05:59 AM
My most recent awesome lies were in a rather homebrewed affair.

We were the aides to a Prince who was off killing a dragon whilst his father was dying. Naturally his brothers were plotting which of them would take the throne, and we wanted out Prince in.

Unfortunately, two of my compatriots caused the death of the (secret) lover of the noblewoman who was going to help us discredit Prince A. Cue me convincing all the nobles that the noblewoman was a witch and had cast a spell on Prince A. When this worked Prince B started killing the people involved and almost banished his brother. After getting a load of people killed by Prince B in some sort of attempt to get them both out the picture, my character had a a master stroke of genius.

He convinced the 4 remaining powerful members of court that Prince B had allowed the witch in, and used her to get rid of supporters of prince C (my prince) and his own brother, and then banished her to tie up loose ends. Of course, there were discrepancies, to which I replied "The witch did X, using a herb we talk of in my home country but no God-fearing man knows its name". IT WORKED!



It was only the 2nd bigges lie of the session. IN the final confrontation in front of everyone between princes B & C my friend's main point was "Prince B was a mean man who caused a load of deaths by introducing a witch to the court; Prince C would do nothing like that!" Despite the fact that 1/3 of the important members of the court had been wiped out due only to our actions.

Jay R
2012-10-20, 09:37 AM
Two guardsmen came up to my 3rd level Magic-User. They knew I didn't have time to cast a spell. So I said, "I point my wand at them and tell them that they're about to be fried with lightning if they don't let me pass." They let me pass.

About five minutes later, the DM suddenly realizes something. "Hey, you don't have a Wand of Lightning."

I handed him my character sheet and said, "Third item in his inventory." And there it was, in black and white, as it had been since the start of play two weeks earlier:

"12-inch polished stick."

Ranting Fool
2012-10-20, 10:15 AM
*Goblin in jail*
PC Barbarian sneaking past.

Goblin "Ho there stranger! Please you must release me as I am truly a Polygraphed half-angel Paladin and not one of the Goblin Race"

PC *rolls really really low* "Sure let me open the bars for you"
.

Goblin Dragon riding Evil Pally of Timit after just being defeated by a LG knight by knocking him out the sky and killing his dragon

"WAIT WAIT Don't kill me.... the Dragon used it's MAGIC on me! I didn't WANT to fight you! Please spare my life and I'll do Good!"

TuggyNE
2012-10-20, 04:40 PM
Goblin "Ho there stranger! Please you must release me as I am truly a Polygraphed half-angel Paladin and not one of the Goblin Race"

Got to love that ironic slip (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygraph).

Zen Monkey
2012-10-20, 04:43 PM
The Nameless One convinced someone that they didn't exist, who then faded from reality.

JennTora
2012-10-24, 08:08 PM
Didn't he bluff that person into existence in the first place?

MichaelGoldclaw
2012-10-25, 03:33 PM
GMing a Star Wars RPG last saturday

Pwease mister
Dont hurt him
He's your fwiend
(natural 20)

Pwese dont hurt us
were doing a dwocumentary
(natural 1 sense motive)

Pwese you need to remove that armor and weapons
There set to explode
The rebels put some big bang stufff in em
(bluff roll 30-20=10)
(sense motive 8)

Ranting Fool
2012-10-25, 04:44 PM
Got to love that ironic slip (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygraph).

LOL! Ah the joy of not checking my spelling myself but allowing a machine to tell me what it thinks is best! :smallbiggrin:

MesiDoomstalker
2012-10-25, 10:59 PM
Oh I have another one that happened over in the PbP forums.

Ok, so this is a pokemon game, specifically Team Rocket. Our first task was to get this super-powered slugma back (it had escaped). Some snot nosed brat caught it after it escaped, and wouldn't give it back. So here comes the lie. My character is the smarty, smart type, but had no Charisma to speak of. I spin this yarn of how the Slugma will go critical and undergo nuclear melt down and destroy the entire city (Saffron), if he didn't give it back and we cured it.

*Rolls a 3*

Kid didn't buy it.

Cue the Face. The Face comes in, says basically everything I said (minus smarty smart words), but also adds in the kid getting vaporized. Cause apparently that didn't cross his mind.

*Rolls a 24*

We didn't actually get the Slugma back right away, but we succeeded in the mission (after the kid got his brain 'sploded), but thats a different story.

SigniferLux
2012-10-26, 01:49 AM
Ok, so this is a pokemon game,



We didn't actually get the Slugma back right away, but we succeeded in the mission (after the kid got his brain 'sploded), but thats a different story.

I... You... Pokemon... Why... NOOOO!!!!

On subject.

A friend playing an elf bard.

DM: You see a group of nobles.
Player: I roll knowledge nobility. Do i know of any far elven kingdom? (succeeds)
DM: You know of an elven prince who left his kingdom in disguise blah blah.
Player: *Goes to the nobles* "Hello dear ladies and gentlemen, i am the lost prince of -that- elven kingdom." (succeeds)
DM: They are impressed.

After a few sessions...

DM: You see some guards approaching you because they heard the screams.
Player: I try to convince them i am the prince of that beforementioned kingdom.

Many sessions and many uses of the same bluff sentense.

DM: You see some heavily armed and armored guards approaching you to ask you a few questions about the murder scene.
Player: I try to convince them i am the lost prince blah blah.
DM: They look at each other. One of them takes the helmet off, his cute elven face appearing and his golden hair waving. He asks: "Are you implying you are me?".

Lesson of the day: NEVER use the same bluff!

Sith_Happens
2012-10-26, 07:38 AM
I... You... Pokemon... Why... NOOOO!!!!

From what I've heard, Pokemon Tabletop Adventures is like twice as dark as even the Pokemon Adventure manga.


On subject.

A friend playing an elf bard.

DM: You see a group of nobles.
Player: I roll knowledge nobility. Do i know of any far elven kingdom? (succeeds)
DM: You know of an elven prince who left his kingdom in disguise blah blah.
Player: *Goes to the nobles* "Hello dear ladies and gentlemen, i am the lost prince of -that- elven kingdom." (succeeds)
DM: They are impressed.

After a few sessions...

DM: You see some guards approaching you because they heard the screams.
Player: I try to convince them i am the prince of that beforementioned kingdom.

Many sessions and many uses of the same bluff sentense.

DM: You see some heavily armed and armored guards approaching you to ask you a few questions about the murder scene.
Player: I try to convince them i am the lost prince blah blah.
DM: They look at each other. One of them takes the helmet off, his cute elven face appearing and his golden hair waving. He asks: "Are you implying you are me?".
Player: "Yes, yes I am."

Fixed. Once you've been found out by the person you've been impersonating, it's go big or go home.:smallcool:

Deathkeeper
2012-10-26, 08:12 AM
Start of Pirate campaign:
Paladin: I refuse to take transportation from pirates.
My Summoner: But didn't you know? The government has been corrupt for centuries; they're stealing for freedom!
Paladin: Okay.
---
First campaign. I was party face as Sorcerer. I was also too tired at the time to think clearly.
Attempting to talk with a high-ranking officer, so we go to his office. My telepathic familiar immediately begins stealth-ing.

Assistant: Do you have an appointment, sirs and Madam?
Me: Yes.
A: Name?
Me: Uh...(Zebes, get me a name)
Familiar: *peers at schedule from rafters* (Insert Name Here)
Me: (Insert Name Here)
A:...that's the name of a group of Lizardfolk.
Me: A group of Lizardfolk with a wizard. Thanks for blowing our cover. Jerk.

LibraryOgre
2012-10-26, 10:07 AM
Fixed. Once you've been found out by the person you've been impersonating, it's go big or go home.:smallcool:

Pfah. I play dwarves. Go short or go home! ;-)

MesiDoomstalker
2012-10-26, 11:09 AM
From what I've heard, Pokemon Tabletop Adventures is like twice as dark as even the Pokemon Adventure manga.


Quoted for truth. I didn't even mention the time I burned 2 children to death for beating me in a battle. I was so proud of my little Houndoor.

For those who want to look, here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=238446)is the game I burned the kids. And here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=240297)is the game where the kid got 'sploded. The first one is the prequel to the second. Turns out burning kids because they beat you tends to get you killed in return. Who knew?

TuggyNE
2012-10-26, 05:57 PM
Fixed. Once you've been found out by the person you've been impersonating, it's go big or go home.:smallcool:

Better yet:
Player: Who are you, imposter? To me, loyal warriors! SEIZE HIM!

Kornaki
2012-10-26, 06:53 PM
Fixed. Once you've been found out by the person you've been impersonating, it's go big or go home.:smallcool:

There aren't enough dice in the world

Sutremaine
2012-10-26, 07:28 PM
Me: A group of Lizardfolk with a wizard.
I don't see what's so strange about that...

Doorhandle
2012-10-27, 06:18 PM
Didn't he bluff that person into existence in the first place?

All the greater accomplishment.

Also, The're an exsample of a failed epic bluff, but imagine if it worked on the duo of foolish ogres.

"THERE'S NOBODY HERE BUT US ROCKS."
"...they're stupid, but not THAT stupid."

Jay R
2012-10-27, 07:08 PM
It wasn't a single bluff or a single lie, but my most impressive job that included such things, was when six player-characters defeated an entire army - in Flashing Blades, a musketeer game with no magic.

Jean-Louis is my rogue PC. Vivienne is Ruth's actress PC.

In a previous adventure, we had captured bills of lading for supplies to feed an army coming to France next spring. The bills of lading implied an army of roughly 2,000 soldiers and camp followers and 500 horses, led by the General Don Miguel ----, whose last name is a moot point, as shown below. All winter, we had horses staked out to attract two wolf packs to the forest between Luneville and Drouville. We wanted numerous wolves used to feeding on horseflesh to greet the Spanish army.

The first delivery was at St. Die. We arranged that the food would arrive two days early, to allow spoilage. Then there was a heavy rain that delayed the troops. The wine was (very mildly) spiked with bad water. There were 20 pistoles baked into the bread. We spread a rumor that the rich soldiers have been throwing coins to the peasants, to encourage peasants along the road to get in the army's way.

Vivienne and Jean-Louis joined the army as camp followers, Vivienne concentrating her attentions on the officers. Jean-Louis started to become a common face, performing, spreading rumors, asking questions. "What's this I hear about a missing paywagon?" The next day was Baccarat. 20 more pistoles and 2 Louis d'Or (gold coins) were baked in the bread. The wine was slghtly more spiked. Deliveries of the food arrived mid-morning the next day, further delaying the troops. Vivienne had two officers fighting a duel over her. […] we spread rumors about the paywagon, and bad blood between officers. (Jean-Louis gathered a crowd of soldiers at the dueling field.) We started a fire in town after the troops left.

Some cavalry units left early, and so were not fed. Near the town of Luneville, we burned a bridge and planted stakes. The cavalry units tried to cross first, and one horse was lamed. So they waited for the rest of the army to arrive to build the bridge. More unrest, more rumors, more bad food. We incited some guttersnipes to throw rocks across the river at them. The bridge was finished mid-morning the next day, so late the next night, a bedraggled, tired, dispirited army arrived at Drouville. The army was forced to detour through the wolf forest by a road block. We spread rumors that the army had been torching villages behind them. The food was strongly poisoned, and the rye bread was tainted with ergot. The army was not going to be in shape to deal with the situation. Vivienne lured Don Miguel to her room at an inn, and murdered him in his sleep. We spread poisoned oats out in the woods. Then we torched the town, stampeding the horses. We started several fires on the upwind side of town. While cutting horses loose, Jean-Louis was spotted. He yelled, "Release the horses – don’t let them burn!" And he convinced the sentries that were there to guard the horses to help him release and stampede them.

The Spanish lost supplies, horses, and lots of time trying to round up the horses that survived the night. Note that spooked horses aren't too bright, and that they were downwind of the flames. Many horses were lost (or eaten). Jean-Louis slipped into the General's headquarters. He fought and killed two sentries, leaving them in a pose indicating that they had slain each other. He then made off with the general's orders, dispatches, and 70 escudo (4200 L.!).

In nearby towns the next day we spread rumors that the army was berserk, looting and burning. We spread rumors in the army that the general was seen running off with a courtesan. Henri went north and bought their next shipment of food (with their money), which we dumped in the river. After spreading a few more rumors in Nancy, the capital of Lorraine, we returned to Paris, where we delivered the orders and dispatches to Richelieu.

The army split up, some becoming bandits until captured by the Duke of Lorraine; some continuing on, ravaging the countryside as they went.

It wasn't a single great bluff, but it certainly required a sequence of bluffs along the way.