Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas [Archive] - Page 5

Sith_Happens

2013-02-19, 01:28 PM

So. When our group lewts, we just keep track of it on a group list. We divvy it up when we hit town, sell the rest, that's that. We never really keep track of who's carrying what.

On one trip to town, the DM says, "what, you looted 12 sets of scale male? ... how were you carrying it?"

"Uh... we're not sure... do you really want to stop the game while we work encumbrance?"

"No, that'd be silly. I'll let it slide for now. But we're going to have a talk about encumbrance soon."

Over dozens of sessions we'd have similar discussions. "200,000 sp? You do know that weighs 2 tons, right?" "Uh... well maybe we converted it to platinum somewhere?" "I'll let it slide, but we're going to have a talk about encumbrance soon."

Then, we hit environmental hazards. A storm. Hurricane force winds. A landslide. A tumble into a roiling river.

"Okay. In a moment I'm going to ask for swim checks. But first, let's talk about encumbrance."

* No longer allowed to carry 30 times my lift-over-head capacity.

* I may not start nesting Bags of Holding specifically to keep the DM from ever using the word "encumbrance" again.

vasharanpaladin

2013-02-19, 03:00 PM

fixed that for ya :smallwink:

*when the answer is not more fire, I'm not allowed to break out a cowbell
**even if I'm multiclassing bard/wiz

***The answer is always more fire. :smallwink:

Amidus Drexel

2013-02-19, 04:43 PM

fixed that for ya :smallwink:

***The answer is always more fire. :smallwink:

****ICE NO BURN

TimeWizard

2013-02-19, 05:32 PM

Not allowed to destroy creation by switching the hearts of the Ice Queen and Flame King. Again.

vasharanpaladin

2013-02-19, 06:23 PM

****ICE NO BURN

*****With hate (and copious amounts of fire) all things are possible.
******After killing the Elemental Plane of Fire with a pyromancer, not to be surprised when the DM limits what sources I can use again.

TuggyNE

2013-02-19, 07:52 PM

****ICE NO BURN

***** Anyone using copious amounts of ice magic is clearly evil.
I c wut u did thar!

Thump

2013-02-21, 05:30 AM

***** Anyone using copious amounts of ice magic is clearly evil.
I c wut u did thar!

Does this include several varieties of celestials?

DigoDragon

2013-02-21, 08:57 AM

****ICE NO BURN

I am no longer allowed to read scientific journals. Yes, there is a proposed theory that matter at absolute zero (T = 0) acts the same way as matter at infinite temperature (T = Infinity), but I'm not allowed to attempt theories just to see things burn with cold spells.
Also, Red Mage's "Ice IX" spell doesn't exist in any system we play. Don't try it.

Zahhak

2013-02-21, 11:03 AM

* I am not allowed to mention Gliese 436 b, in all of its burning-ice glory.

Nexaduro

2013-02-21, 08:21 PM

*I will no longer implant malicious AI into ficus trees
**I will no longer ask existing AI to simulate the above

TuggyNE

2013-02-21, 08:22 PM

Does this include several varieties of celestials?

Reference:http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=29
http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=608

ericgrau

2013-02-21, 09:14 PM

The party airship will not be able to carry a 60 foot tall awakened great oak that I bring into sentience from a tree feather token.

Ksheep

2013-02-21, 10:06 PM

* I may not give the big smashy a new super-enchanted weapon that's intelligent
** Especially if it's evil and has a very big ego
*** This goes triple if it tells the big smashy to kill everyone he sees…
**** …When the rest of the party present are casters.
***** I may not have the weapon only take control when the big smashy is away from the rest of the party, just to have it force him to kill innocent civilians
****** ESPECIALLY when his goal in life is to right the wrongs done to the oppressed…

Zahhak

2013-02-21, 11:24 PM

That reminds me of a story I heard on youtube of a group that had a character who had schizophrenia and had voices telling him to do things. The character had a voice that constantly told him to try to eat things that were threatening him "oh, the ogre is going to kill you? Did you try eating him?" The poor guy ended up with so many voices in his head that there was an operator to get ahold of specific voices.

*I may not use the above story as a character inspiration.

Nexaduro

2013-02-22, 09:46 PM

*I mustn't bring my pet Cacodaemon to the Pillar of Souls

Chilingsworth

2013-02-22, 10:33 PM

*I mustn't bring my pet Cacodaemon to the Pillar of Souls

*looks up what a Cacodaemon is*

:smalleek:

Yeah, that could be bad.

Reltzik

2013-02-23, 12:14 AM

A Tad Insane

2013-02-23, 04:56 PM

*My cleric can not worship the space butterfly
**My bard can not play songs by frankestien joe
***There's isn't always Peng
****Jesse Cox references are no banned
*****Totalbuscuit references are always allowed

toapat

2013-02-23, 10:40 PM

****Jesse Cox references are now banned
*****Totalbuscuit references are always allowed

isnt that kinda obvious? Jesse Cox uses a rather angry and non-comedic persona, while TB is fine putting aires of Lord Brittish

*Lord British is in my campaign world
**yes, He IS invincible
***No, you are not allowed to go find the one means of killing him in the system
****This is not to become the Party's shared goal
*****Fine, you killed him. He was sealing a gateway to the inner sanctum of Azmodeus. GLHF

Crafty Cultist

2013-02-23, 11:02 PM

* Not allowed to base my warforged of Atlas, P-body, or glaDOS
** Not allowed to base the personality of a docent on the space sphere.
*** Aperture science is not somewhere in Xendrik
**** No more portal before a session.

Archmage1

2013-02-23, 11:13 PM

*****If you must play portal before the session, don't be the DM. Dimension door does not work that way.

Ksheep

2013-02-23, 11:48 PM

* No, there is not a school of Transubstantiation

artofregicide

2013-02-24, 12:45 AM

* No, there is not a school of Transubstantiation

**Nor is their a spell: wine to blood.
***Bread to flesh is straight out

Chilingsworth

2013-02-24, 12:49 AM

*** Not to point out that polymorph any object can achieve either of these effects.

Kazyan

2013-02-24, 01:55 AM

*You know what, let's just blanket-ban all references to any outside media, period. They've been far more trouble than they're worth.

Ksheep

2013-02-24, 02:31 AM

* I may not ask where the Cheetos are
** Nor may I ask where the Mountain Dew is
*** No, I may not have a Mountain Dew
**** I may not complain if the Funyuns get stuck in the machine if I try to get a snack in the middle of the session

* I may not swindle the local blacksmith to give me a magical sword at a reduced price due to my Ring of Charm (which gives a +5 to all convincing rolls)
** I cannot figure out if it's magical by swinging it around
*** If I cast detect magic on the sword, only to find out it is not magical, I may not decide to slay the blacksmith
**** Even if he said it was a magical sword
***** And he claims to never tell lies
****** I should not be surprised when the blacksmith turns into a platinum dragon and eats me

* I may not turn a bag of holding inside out, wrap it around myself, and walk through the dungeon walls
** Especially after calling the DM out for letting a DMPC do the same thing earlier in the session

GnomeFighter

2013-02-24, 04:23 AM

*I may not invent cars, clocks, motorbikes, aeroplanes, helicopters, tractors, busses, mobile phones or any other modern devices biased on simple magic items.
**or point out how stupid it is no one has done it before.

Balmas

2013-02-24, 11:10 AM

Chilingsworth

2013-02-24, 01:36 PM

**** If I try the above, I may not complain when my plan ends up flooding at least one village. Nor may I complain about the lynchmob that comes after me as a result.

New line of thought (hope this hasn't been said before):

* No matter how good my backstory, I may never play a ninja pirate zombie robot dragon.

** I may not play a corpse creature warforged dragonborn swashbuckler/rogue, either.

*** A wizard/Geometer/Fatespinner/Initiate of the Sevenfold Veil/Incantrix is somehow ok, though.

Reltzik

2013-02-24, 01:50 PM

* When using bardic music, I (the player) am simply to declare use of the power, possibly remind players and the DM of what bonuses it entails, and move on. Neither filking nor karaoke phone aps are permissible.

Guizonde

2013-02-24, 04:48 PM

chameleon skinks are multicolor when drunk. no exceptions.

*sombreros don't exist in whfrp
**no, i may not have one no matter how much i beg and plead. i'm silly enough as it is.
***oddly enough, i can have a fez. yes, it lowers my sneak bonus. considerably.
****i can have a poncho, no maracas, though.

*not allowed the following:
-considering that i'll be sober during this scenario
-considering that gravity has forgotten about me during this scenario
-considering that i'll actually be useful without being the lethal joke character comedy relief during this scenario

*not allowed to drink myself stupid just to get a free harlequin costume. two shots of liquor suffice
*you know rule of silly is enforced when your cover for chasing a chaos caravan is an itinerant circus.
**especially when the dm breaks out the improv to perform the actual play.
***in front of an unsuspecting audience no less!
*no, acting like a wild animal being tamed by the party jack of all trades in no way falls under "urban camouflage"
*note to self: catching on fire? bad idea
**note to self: when in doubt, hit the deck
***note to self: crossbows are awesome. no, i don't have enough money to buy one. even if i have "this much"!
****note to self: "this much" money is not enough
*****note to self: mama said: don't trust elves. don't trust elves with fire, either.
(the note to self series was actually spoken verbatim by my character, much to the amusement of the other characters)
*despite everything my dm's have ever said, i must legitimately consider this character a living projectile, and reason as such.
**still not allowed hated enemy: physics
*can't take weapon proficiency in ham. or hambones.
*can't learn language: tilean fishmonger or wood elf

*in dnd: skeletal war ponies are banned
*"rebuke undead" does not mean yell at them.
**"bad zombie! bad! no brains for you!" is not the verbal component of rebuke undead
*halflings, paladins, necropolitans, and bright pink mohawks are forever incompatible. no exceptions.
*when seeing the profile for spectres, not allowed to scream like a little girl.
*banned favored weapon: shovel
**banned favored weapon: crowbar
***banned favored weapon: support beam
****improvised weapons cannot be favored weapons
*banned monstrous creatures (again)
*"bring the house down! i know a dwarf contractor for the rubble" is NOT an appropriate way to strategize a dungeon
*no, gnolls don't "smell just like home". even for a half-ork barbarian.
*jury rigging explosives for kicks and giggles is not a "dangerous dungeon"appropriate pasttime. even if i'm ready and waiting for the rest of the party.
*battle vuvuzelas are to be considered cursed, in poor taste, to be destroyed on sight immediately, and are banned by several international treaties.
*not allowed a halfling war kazoo. a war horn why not, but not an oversized kazoo.
*not allowed to summon undead servant for the sole reason of casting rebuke undead.
**double if it's an excuse for my CG cleric of pelor to vent some anger on it.

Ksheep

2013-02-24, 08:57 PM

* I may not attempt to mummify myself for a Charisma boost…

Guizonde

2013-02-24, 09:04 PM

* I may not attempt to mummify myself for a Charisma boost…

what.

*i am not allowed to question what my character has done or how she looks like when she's a necropolitan with 20+ charisma.
**i'm pretty sure "magnetic personality" does not refer to the spectre bound to guard her for eternity.
*if i ever get the idea to transform another hindering flaw into a situational but very useful advantage again, i must warn the dm beforehand. the flaw will win out unless it's funnier that way.

Ksheep

2013-02-24, 09:18 PM

what.

Yeah, the Mummified template from LM gives you +4 Charisma (and +8 Strength, +4 Wisdom, -4 Int). Figure that one out…

Doxkid

2013-02-24, 09:29 PM

* My bard's "charisma" may not be so large it imposes an encumbrance penalty.

** If I'm playing a party-face/seduction bard, it is considered good taste to have a gender at some point. That would at least mean the charisma thing makes sense.

*** My character may NOT be two halflings/gnomes standing on each other's shoulders.

**** Especially as a seduction bard.

***** At LEAST one of the NPC I seduced should have picked up on something like that, and I cannot blame the DM for sharing hints about my secret through those NPCs at every opportunity. I cannot Slight of Hand my second gnome/halfling away.

****** Just because the DM said "Yeah, that sounds pretty cool" doesn't mean I actually have to do that.

Erik Vale

2013-02-24, 09:34 PM

Yeah, the Mummified template from LM gives you +4 Charisma (and +8 Strength, +4 Wisdom, -4 Int). Figure that one out…

Girls like it when they don't have to see your ugly face.
:smallsmile:
Bonus point's for Egyptian mummies, the mumified of whom where sterotypically/realistically deformed due to inbreeding.

Amidus Drexel

2013-02-24, 09:55 PM

Yeah, the Mummified template from LM gives you +4 Charisma (and +8 Strength, +4 Wisdom, -4 Int). Figure that one out…

In fact, you're so pretty that people have to make a Will save upon seeing you or be paralyzed with fear. :smallbiggrin:

Kymme

2013-02-24, 10:44 PM

*I cannot play a Binder past 13th level for the sole reason of being able to make out with the succubus queen of lust

**and live

Metahuman1

2013-02-24, 10:51 PM

In fact, you're so pretty that people have to make a Will save upon seeing you or be paralyzed with fear. :smallbiggrin:

"Here it is, mr/miss undead universe!"

Edit: From another thread just now.

*It is Ill advised to use the Mass Awaken Spell Trick to get lot's of Awakened Pony's.

**More so to use Diplomacy to convince them all that they get a princess by electing them, and must be ruled by a princess.

***If I disregard the above rules, I may not then use Chained Mass Charm Monster as a spammed spell to get them all to vote for Whatever Candidate I endorse.

****Further, I may not then spam the LE Lich BBEG with Polymorph Any Object and Bestow Curse: Gender Swap, until he fails saves on both.

*****My next act may not be to endorse him as a candidate.

******I deserve everything that happens to me if I turn the BBEG Lich into a Pony Princess in this manner.

*******More so if I don't actually hinder all/any of his actual ability's or gear in the process but did give him lot's to new minions.

vasharanpaladin

2013-02-25, 12:16 AM

*note to self: catching on fire? bad idea

**Memo: If I am at any point not immune to fire damage or gaining insane bonuses for being on fire, the DM is unfairly penalizing my character.
***If I am ever not on fire, the party is to correct this immediately and with extreme prejudice.
****Preferably directly targeting my character sheet and/or any books or other materials that I have that no one else does.

Zahhak

2013-02-25, 05:00 PM

*"rebuke undead" does not mean yell at them.
**"bad zombie! bad! no brains for you!" is not the verbal component of rebuke undead

Relevant (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGykDjYfs4E)

* I may not attempt to mummify myself for a Charisma boost…

What.

Charisma just represents your force of personality, not how hot you are, gamers just interpret it that way. Mummies have a forceful personality, nothing more nothing less.

Guizonde

2013-02-25, 05:12 PM

Charisma just represents your force of personality, not how hot you are, gamers just interpret it that way. Mummies have a forceful personality, nothing more nothing less.

we interpret charisma as good looking and/or smooth talking. guess i forgot it could go both ways. Xykon is charismatic to always have a horde of mooks at his beck and call, and Elan is charismatic by being good looking, yet not a smooth talker.

ThatOneGuy79

2013-02-25, 09:40 PM

* I may no longer combine a high spellcraft roll with a light spell, allowing me to cast the spell just on someones face.
** If I do the above, I may not then roll a 20 on a bluff check to have them believe the light will grow to kill them from the inside out if they perform an evil act.
*** I may not then use a wish spell to make the above retroactively true a month later when they return with their gang to slaughter the party I'm with.

Techwarrior

2013-02-25, 09:48 PM

I am no longer permitted to add stats to my attack and damage rolls twice as many times as there are statistics.
I am no longer allowed to dual wield custom Legacy weapons.
I am no longer allowed to dual wield intelligent weapons with opposite alignments.
I am no longer allowed to deal more damage with Small daggers than the Goliath Fighter with a Large greatsword.
I am no longer allowed to acquire Pounce.
I may no longer own an Aptitude Braidblade.
I may no longer have Weapon Focus (Light Mace), Improved Critical (Light Mace), Lightning Mace, and the Aptitude enchantment on more than 5 weapons that have 18-20 crit ranges.
I am no longer allowed to use the Burning Blade maneuver.
I may not play a Swordsage.
I may not play a Warblade with the Martial Study feat.
I may not wield more weapons than I have hands.
I may not play as a race with more than two hands.
I may not play a Warshaper
I may not play a race with more than two limbs capable of using weapons.
Yes, a tail is a limb.
I may not play a race with natural attacks.
I may not play a Druid.
I may no longer optimize Two Weapon Fighting, Multiweapon Fighting, Critical Hits, Natural Attacks, or Unarmed Strikes.

Amidus Drexel

2013-02-25, 09:53 PM

Charisma just represents your force of personality, not how hot you are, gamers just interpret it that way. Mummies have a forceful personality, nothing more nothing less.

Technically, it's a combination of both, a la the PHB description of Charisma. That being said, it's pretty much all force of personality.

Physical beauty makes a better joke, though, in this case. :smallamused:

Ksheep

2013-02-25, 09:55 PM

Chilingsworth

2013-02-26, 12:07 AM

Inspired by the same pic as this (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=14778178&postcount=1346) demotivator:

I may not play a commando sponsored by the Hello Kitty Fanclub

I may not start the Hello Kitty Jihad

There are no Hello Kitty spec-ops in pink helicopters coming to put us all in camps.

Ksheep

2013-02-26, 12:37 AM

DigoDragon

2013-02-26, 08:24 AM

No longer allowed to put off buying explosives when going on missions for the Humane Society.
Not allowed to argue physics with the eldritch abomination that is knawing on the Street Sam's butt.
No longer allowed to shoot the hostage.
No longer allowed to use the roof of a wooden cabin to break the Rigger's fall.
It is NEVER a bad time to summon a fire elemental.

Reltzik

2013-02-26, 11:02 AM

* Okay, it's funny, so my gnome cavalier can use his prestidigitation spell-like daily to change a fellow PC's hair to shocking, neon electric blue.
** Huh, said player isn't even asking for a save, and is acting like his PC doesn't realize his hair has changed color.
*** Okay, further in-party instances are allowable. It's established and it's funny.
**** .... all right, fine, making the wizard's robes taste like skunk so that the monster will stop gnawing on him IS technically within prestidigitation's described effects...
***** Hey, the DM put a lot of thought into this encounter with a room full of squirrels, one of which is a wild-shaped druid using the others for cover. I am NOT allowed to ready a prestidigitation to turn her hair neon electric blue when she next casts a spell.
****** Because racial cantrip abilities shouldn't be able to neutralize the entire BBEG's encounter, that's why!
******* EVEN if it's no-save, not-noticed properties are well established in this campaign.
******** AND if its use for combat advantage also has precedent.
********* I'm not even a caster class dammit!

...... this is an object lesson for SOMEONE. I just can't figure out for whom.

Guizonde

2013-02-26, 11:35 AM

toapat

2013-02-26, 11:56 AM

I may no longer have Weapon Focus (Light Mace), Improved Critical (Light Mace), Lightning Mace, and the Aptitude enchantment on more than 5 weapons that have 18-20 crit ranges.

While i enjoy a nice serving of aptitude cheese, i feel i must point out that most of the keystones to the Aptitude Nacho sauce relies on feats that are not actually weapon keyed feats, but weapon locked feats.

Although i will always approve a Disciple of Dispater TWF Critstormer

The Bandicoot

2013-02-26, 12:19 PM

*I may NOT have a Flaming Burst Icy Burst Shocking Burst Keen Adamantine Falchion
**Expecially if I am a Kobold
***If I ignore the last two rules I may not solely power-attack using this weapon.

*My Kobold's battlecry is not "SPOOOOOOON!" in Gnomeish

Doxkid

2013-02-26, 12:58 PM

*I may not reverse mortgage the BBEG's home/tomb/castle if fighting him seems too difficult. I'm suppose to start training or work my way or up gather allies.

** "Oh wow. That seems pretty reasonable..." when I explain it does not means I don't have to gather the rest of the party during the game's start.

*** Buying the Lawful Evil BBEG's home out from under him and then renting it out to him is probably why he burned down my village and slaughtered the rest of my family. This is not a difference of opinions. We can not agree to disagree.

Dimers

2013-02-26, 11:26 PM

* No matter how good my backstory, I may never play a ninja pirate zombie robot dragon.

** I may not play a corpse creature warforged dragonborn swashbuckler/rogue, either.

*** A wizard/Geometer/Fatespinner/Initiate of the Sevenfold Veil/Incantrix is somehow ok, though.

That last line is the most beautiful thing I've seen in this thread ... and I speak as one of Ksheep's 0.43 Internet contributors.

DigoDragon

2013-02-27, 08:39 AM

*I may not reverse mortgage the BBEG's home/tomb/castle if fighting him seems too difficult.

This sounds like a hilarious hook for an adventure. The BBEG getting evicted and is homeless. This seems like a win for the PCs until they realize that the Bank is auctioning off all of the BBEG's evil artifacts, traps, and treasures to the highest bidder...

...and all the BBEG's minions show up to buy. :smallbiggrin:

More Shadowrun--

I am banned from having the vampire cult catagorize the PCs by taste.
I am no longer allowed to let my commlink-activated suicide bomber wander into a spam zone.
I will no longer dare the team Shaman to try defaulting with a shotgun against my BBEG.

Ksheep

2013-02-27, 07:17 PM

Wookieetank

2013-02-28, 09:49 AM

* I may not give the party a fossil as part of a treasure
** I may not suggest to them that some magicians might be able to bring it back to life
*** I may not apply the Revived Fossil template to a creature and give it to them as a pet
**** The casting time for the spell that revives the fossil isn't "however long it takes you to step out that door and come back inside again"

*snicker* :smallbiggrin:

*As a gnome my life quest cannot be to catalogue in one book every type of animate species in the campaign setting.
**May not learn dominate and mind control monsters to fight for me.

Tinglemark

2013-02-28, 04:29 PM

*Not to make a character who introduces himself as Professor of Natural Philosophy, Bartholomew J. Thurston.
**Not to then specialize in lightning and smoke attacks.
***His goal is not to make the universe release the blue smoke.
****I am not to be surprised when the irl electricals character kills him.
*****Not to then roll up his brother Barry J. Thurston, Novice of Philosophical Naturalism, who has a similar theme.

Karoht

2013-02-28, 04:50 PM

*If playing in a girl-genius campaign, I may not be a spark.
**Not allowed to use common sense to simply build mechanical devices to do the same thing.
*Not allowed to build a "Common Sense" meter, which detects common sense in use, or lack thereof.
**Not allowed to build a device fueled by the negative pressure caused by a lack of common sense. I am especially prohibited from naming this or any other device a "Zero (IQ) Point Energy" source.

Kane0

2013-02-28, 04:57 PM

*When entering a room of statues depicting various gods, I may not change my deity to match the most badass looking one
**If the Deity has no listed name or portfolio under his statue, I cannot invent one for him
***I shall not be surprised if he does not respond to prayers or sacrifices
****I shall not be surprised if he is a deceased power
*****I shall not single-handedly revive him and bring a greater danger to the world than the current BBEG we are facing
******I most definitely cannot be his high priest and retain my previous alignment.

All this actually happened, and it made for a great few sessions. One player picked out one of the nameless gods and began revering him as the God of lucky fights, seduction and the spoils of victory (namely food). He then inadvertently became a paladin under his name and spread the word, reincarnating him as the god he pretty much invented.

Arbane

2013-02-28, 06:57 PM

*Not allowed to build a "Common Sense" meter, which detects common sense in use, or lack thereof.
**Not allowed to build a device fueled by the negative pressure caused by a lack of common sense. I am especially prohibited from naming this or any other device a "Zero (IQ) Point Energy" source.

*** Stupidity may be the second most common element in the universe (after hydrogen), but I can't build a reactor fueled by it.

Guizonde

2013-02-28, 08:15 PM

*** Stupidity may be the second most common element in the universe (after hydrogen), but I can't build a reactor fueled by it.

****this goes for hydrogen too. oxygen is right out. crude oil too. no building reactors!

*just because the dice say "it" happened does not mean "it" happened. whatever "it" is...
**based on above, i don't get a mental fortitude check or an endurance check to see how hard the hangover hits me.
***this goes for agility too. how the hell are you planning on dodging a hangover, anyway?!
****no shields, either. big glasses of water beforehand won't matter when you drank your weight in hard liquor, either.

Chilingsworth

2013-02-28, 08:27 PM

That last line is the most beautiful thing I've seen in this thread ... and I speak as one of Ksheep's 0.43 Internet contributors.

Why thank you! :smallbiggrin:

enderlord99

2013-02-28, 08:45 PM

*snicker* :smallbiggrin:

*As a gnome my life quest cannot be to catalogue in one book every type of animate species in the campaign setting.
**May not learn dominate and mind control monsters to fight for me.

...How are Pokemon trainers gnomes?:smallconfused:

nedz

2013-02-28, 09:10 PM

...How are Pokemon trainers gnomes?:smallconfused:

I thought Pokemon trainers were Paladins ? :smallconfused:

Ksheep

2013-02-28, 09:24 PM

...How are Pokemon trainers gnomes?:smallconfused:

I thought Pokemon trainers were Paladins ? :smallconfused:

Pokémon Professors are Gnomish Truenamers (they're too high of a level to be effective in the field, so they send out lower-level characters to do all their dirty work for them)

Pokémon Trainers… are probably race independent. As for class, it probably varies. Some may be Malconvokers, some are Rangers, others are Clerics and/or Paladins, and there's also the occasional Bard.

Bucky

2013-02-28, 11:09 PM

**Nor is their a spell: wine to blood.
***Bread to flesh is straight out

****Blood to Wine and Flesh to Bread do not exist either.
*****Not allowed to eat the BBEG. Even if he failed his save.

Chilingsworth

2013-02-28, 11:14 PM

6* Once again, not to point out that polymorph any object can achieve such effects.

artofregicide

2013-03-01, 12:00 AM

****Blood to Wine and Flesh to Bread do not exist either.
*****Not allowed to eat the BBEG. Even if he failed his save.

Make not become drunk off of the BBEG.

That's just in poor taste.

Dimers

2013-03-01, 01:21 AM

Make not become drunk off of the BBEG.

That's just in poor taste.

May not reverse-transubstantiate the BBEG, cast prestidigitation to improve the flavor, and THEN get drunk off him, either. Still in poor taste no matter how tasty you make him/her/it.

nedz

2013-03-01, 08:10 AM

* Cast Extract Water Elemental on the BBEG
** Drink the Water Elemental

Wookieetank

2013-03-01, 09:02 AM

May not reverse-transubstantiate the BBEG, cast prestidigitation to improve the flavor, and THEN get drunk off him, either. Still in poor taste no matter how tasty you make him/her/it.

*However its completely acceptable if my character is a vampire.
**May not then procede to make the BBEG my minion by turning him into a vampire from drinking him though.

Scizor

2013-03-01, 03:27 PM

Pathfinder:
* I may not be an alchemist and have ranks in Perform (Juggle). Bombs are too volatile.
** On a similar note, halflings are not eligible for juggling.
*** Neither are gnomes. However, you won't know that until after you have thrown them in the air and then found yourself the target of a bomb/destruction/arbitraary damage source.

inuyasha

2013-03-01, 06:17 PM

*may not abuse item creation rules to create shotgun of 5 magic missiles
**it cannot give me a +8 deflection bonus to ac
***cannot kill a room full of shambling mounds with this magic item through haste, time stop or something like that without being scratched
****cannot lock the with arcane lock (also from the shotgun) to prevent the paladin from seeing my secretly evil wizard do this
*****cannot keep chunk of shambling mound as a pet and name it Dr. squishypants
******cannot be only 10th level when i do this if i ever do it again

DigoDragon

2013-03-03, 11:24 AM

When the GM gives me three separate clues that the mcguffin I'm looking for is at Seattle Memorial Hospital, I'm no longer allowed to to be surprised when I arrive and it turns out it was never there to begin with.

Reltzik

2013-03-03, 12:08 PM

*Robbing from the rich and giving to the poor is not CG if it's part of a framing attempt.
** Neither is arming the poor downtrodden masses with "hot" weapons.

Doxkid

2013-03-03, 12:46 PM

* If what I suspect to be the moon whispers into my mind from just a few inches behind me consistently for the whole game, none of us should be surprised that it is in fact really far away and I was alone the whole time.

**I swear if you make everyone pack up and leave while I'm in the bathroom, then pretend we never played in the first place just to see how well I deal with all of reality being a hallucination (...again...)there will be consequences.

Arbane

2013-03-03, 01:40 PM

**I swear if you make everyone pack up and leave while I'm in the bathroom, then pretend we never played in the first place just to see how well I deal with all of reality being a hallucination (...again...)there will be consequences.

What were you playing? Sounds like something the GM would do in a game of Over the Edge.

Stake A Vamp

2013-03-03, 07:57 PM

sanctions for me as a player
*gnomes are not throwing weapons
**neither are halflings
***kobolds do make excellent clubs, but only if you kill them first
****using live goblins as javlins is out of the question
*****no more using live, small sized creatures as weapons
******no more using dead, small sized creatures as weapons
*******no more small sized creatures for me.

sanctions for me as a DM
*my cat on the battle mat does NOT constitute the tarasque appearing on the fields of battle
**if my cat bats a mini, the tarasque does not make a claw attack against that character, same goes for gnawing on a mini
***if i am caught checking the tarasque entry when my cat is nearby, i am to have my monster manual confiscated
****there is no elemental plane of cotton candy, and summon cotton candy elemental is not a valid spell for a gluecomancer to cast.
*****gmuecomancer is not a valid NPC class
******the elemental plane of bananas does not exist
*******no more planes for me.

Zahhak

2013-03-03, 08:04 PM

kobolds do make excellent clubs, but only if you kill them first

I had a character that did that once. Picked up a kobold by his ankles and used his head as a weapon and killed three of his allies. A fifth was simply impaled on a stalagmite because the former-kobold had his head explode (apparently) from the amount of damage.

Needless to say, that character quickly gained a reputation among kobolds.

Ksheep

2013-03-03, 10:31 PM

* I may not throw Cybermen at the party
** Nor may I throw Daleks
*** Weeping Angels aren't allowed either
**** Absolutely no Vashta Nerada

vasharanpaladin

2013-03-03, 10:56 PM

* I may not throw Cybermen at the party
** Nor may I throw Daleks
*** Weeping Angels aren't allowed either

3b: SCP-173 (http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-173) is fine, though.

Zahhak

2013-03-04, 12:17 AM

* I may not throw Cybermen at the party
** Nor may I throw Daleks
*** Weeping Angels aren't allowed either
**** Absolutely no Vashta Nerada

Query: "Cyberman, weakness":
Heavy weapons
Unable to think creatively

Query: "Daleks, weakness":
Stairs
Steep elevations
Debris on the floor
Unable to think creatively
Incredibly heavy weapons

Query: "Weeping Angels, weakness":
Beings that can see and don't need to blink

Query: "Vashta Nerada, weakness":
We're sorry, we have no information on file for query "Vashata Nerada, weakness".
Please check your spelling, syntax, or search terms.
Did you mean "Vashta Nerada, strengths"? Or perhaps "Vashta Nerada will kill us all"?

DigoDragon

2013-03-04, 09:09 AM

kobolds do make excellent clubs, but only if you kill them first.

Hold Monster works for a short-term solution. :smallbiggrin:

I'm no longer allowed to ignore my gut instinct when it holds up a big neon pink sign.
I may no longer trust any of the PhyAd's contacts that he did not pay points for.
Not allowed to give the party vehicle more credit for a kill than the party shaman.
I am no longer allowed the shaman access to a pillow when she is interrogating a prisoner.
Also not allowed to give the shaman access to a desk drawer when she's interrogating a prisoner.
Simply not allowed to let the shaman interrogate our prisoners. They keep dying in the strangest ways.

Guizonde

2013-03-04, 10:23 AM

*when seeing the 3rd plaguebearer in a week summoned from the belly of a nurglite magus, not allowed to shrug and say "meh." even if i passed my mental strength check.
**my character will not become jaded after only 9 in-game days. 6 months of tenuous survival coupled with heavy drinking... maybe.
***not allowed to resign my character to be drunk again this session
****dude, what's with you and having phlegmatic characters?
*****before you ask, no there is no talent "seen it all", neither is there competence "jaded"

Zahhak

2013-03-04, 12:58 PM

Evil thought I'm preemptively banning:

* When playing a vegetarian elf I may not attempt to justify cannibalism by saying "they count as fruit"

Wookieetank

2013-03-04, 01:58 PM

Evil thought I'm preemptively banning:

* When playing a vegetarian elf I may not attempt to justify cannibalism by saying "they count as fruit"

**Dryad and Ents do not count as vegtables.

Ksheep

2013-03-04, 02:10 PM

* No more non-Euclidian dungeons
** No 4D dungeons either
*** I may not mess with subjective gravity
**** Variable time is frowned upon
***** I cannot mess with relativity either
****** All dungeons must henceforth be pre-made from an official WotC source…

nedz

2013-03-04, 02:11 PM

* When playing a vegetarian elf I may not attempt to justify cannibalism by saying "they count as fruit"**Dryad and Ents do not count as vegtables.

*** Except in Runequest

ThatOneGuy79

2013-03-04, 06:43 PM

* I am no longer allowed a decanter of endless water if playing a flying character.
** Nor am I allowed arrows that produce a Disintegration effect.
*** Bags of Boulders are right out.

enderlord99

2013-03-04, 09:26 PM

We're sorry, we have no information on file for query "Vashata Nerada, weakness".

SCP-682 (http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-682) would probably figure something out.

Zyoto12

2013-03-04, 11:15 PM

From my Skulls and Shackles Pathfinder game:

*No longer allowed to execute NPCs by giving them copious amounts of the rum ration (Rum ration does 1d3 Con damage)
**No longer allowed to name our ship the Rum Ration
*Not allowed to go shark hunting using insubordinate crew as bait.
**Not allowed to shoot the sharks and use them to chum the water for more sharks (the druid gets mad)
*Not allowed to spend grit to shoot the grappled alchemist and cause an "unstable thaumaturgical resonance cascade" among his bombs, thus detonating him and the boss.

Zahhak

2013-03-05, 01:40 AM

SCP-682 would probably figure something out.

SCP-682 might actually have some relation to the Vashata Nerada.

Zahhak

2013-03-06, 12:58 AM

I am not allowed to even entertain the idea of redoing Tron, but taking place inside the internet based on XKCDs maps of the internet.

DigoDragon

2013-03-06, 07:26 AM

I am not allowed to even entertain the idea of redoing Tron, but taking place inside the internet based on XKCDs maps of the internet.

OMG, that would be an awesome campaign idea! :smallbiggrin:

Adoendithas

2013-03-06, 08:56 AM

Zahhak

2013-03-06, 12:22 PM

OMG, that would be an awesome campaign idea!

It stops being awesome the moment you remember how much of the internet is used for porn, illegal downloads, and online gambling.

Hyena

2013-03-06, 01:22 PM

* I am no longer allowed to ruin DM's plot in some way just for the purposes of being a jerk.

Moonwolf727

2013-03-06, 01:47 PM

* Suggesting that the wizard take Improvised Weapon Proficiency (Continent) is only funny until you realize he has the titan bloodline.

* The druid does not have voices in her head that exemplify parts of her personality.
** The druid doesn't have to wait for them to vote before she can do anything beyond eating, sleeping and drinking.
*** This goes double if even a single one of the primary voices represents any of the following: Pragmatism, Survival instinct, Jackass impulses or Raging alcoholism.

* Just because my sorcerer has a higher charisma score than the average Succubus as well as cross class ranks in disguise does not mean she can walk around on the lower planes without anyone questioning her presence.
** I am not allowed to have her seduce the imps into fighting for her.
*** This goes double for balors.

* The cleric's ability to rebuke undead does not make any difference to attempts at keeping his reanimated cat off of our furniture.
** When passing through undead-infested towns with our reanimated-army random zombies and skeletons do not start following us "for the hell of it"
*** Neither do they do so because "We look like a lively bunch"

* Throwing corpses out of the tower windows at trespassers and then animating them doesn't grant a surprise round, even if it really should.

Guizonde

2013-03-06, 02:10 PM

It stops being awesome the moment you remember how much of the internet is used for porn, illegal downloads, and online gambling.

now it's less awesome and more survival horror :smallbiggrin:

*not allowed to suggest the idea to my dm

A Tad Insane

2013-03-06, 06:41 PM

*Scp 504 is no longer allowed to be mention
**The penalty for breaking this rule is like 504, but with books

Chilingsworth

2013-03-06, 07:41 PM

*** You know what, no more mentioning SCP's.

vasharanpaladin

2013-03-06, 07:54 PM

*** You know what, no more mentioning SCP's.

****This does not mean anything in the campaign is SCP-055.

Gnomish Wanderer

2013-03-06, 08:24 PM

It stops being awesome the moment you remember how much of the internet is used for porn, illegal downloads, and online gambling.
No, those are just the monsters now.

Ksheep

2013-03-06, 08:30 PM

No, those are just the monsters now.

You thought the .JPEG Golems were bad, just wait till you see the .GIF Golems…

AttilaTheGeek

2013-03-06, 08:35 PM

* I may no longer create a Potion of Fireball and then swap it with my "teammate's" potion of Cure Serious Wounds.

Guizonde

2013-03-06, 09:07 PM

all is stated regarding a recently necropolitanized halfling amnesic paladin, who due to dm fiat restarts her "life" lvl1 with no class *badum tish goes the rimshot*

*contrary to how it is stated in the flavor text, the trick riding feat (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/feats/combat-feats/trick-riding-combat) probably doesn't intend for me to do kickflips with my mounts in combat, no matter how cool that would be.
**this probably goes with other skateboard figures.

*next time i'm looking through the ranger archetypes, i will scroll right past "trophy hunter".
**"trophy hunter" does not in fact force me to take trophies of my fallen enemies.
***"trophy hunter" won't allow my halfling to use blunderbusses, long rifles, carbines, canons, pistols, bobombs, bombs, big bombs, small bombs, rockets, shotguns, guns, rifles, or any other black powder weapon. that goes for any other projectile weapon capable of going "boom".

*i can't take combat style "explosives", "firearms", "flamethrowers", "insults", "insane punslinger", "chainsaw", "oak tree", "undead", "party members", "limbs", "furry woodland creatures", or "stingchucks" (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/equipment---final/weapons/weapon-descriptions/stingchuck)
**ESPECIALLY as a halfling!
***if for some reason i craft a trap that goes "boom", i will get the book of vile deeds thrown at me. the one in-game, yes, the one that kills you to death twice.
****trapmaking is preemptively banned.
*"gunslinger? lol" says the dm.

*"infiltrator", despite being a valid archetype, and what my now-undead halfling has been doing for the past in-game 3 weeks, won't be her new class.
**if for some reason the above is ignored, i can't take undead as favored enemies to boost my own skills.
***i cannot use explosives if i'm an infiltrator, no matter what an infiltrator does irl.

*wild empathy does not consist solely of me screaming "DUDE! YOU'RE LIKE THE BEST CRITTER EVER! I LOVE YOU MAN!!" when trying to use the skill on a critter.
**no, i don't in fact "feel for you, critter, don't worry! it gets better! trust me, i'm a ranger!"

*with a bit of haggling, it's entirely reasonable to swap out combat style "archery OR crossbow" with "halfling war sling". i can't combine both and call myself a "sexy shoeless goddess of machine guns".

*oddly enough, still not banned rangers yet :smallbiggrin:

Zahhak

2013-03-06, 10:10 PM

No, those are just the monsters now.

You thought the .JPEG Golems were bad, just wait till you see the .GIF Golems…

I think you guys are missing the point I was kind of making, but OK.

Ksheep

2013-03-06, 10:16 PM

I think you guys are missing the point I was kind of making, but OK.

Oh, I got the point, I was just playing off of what the Gnome was saying…

Just pray to the User that you don't stumble upon 4Chan or any of the more disreputable sub-reddits…

vasharanpaladin

2013-03-06, 10:34 PM

*May not rip out or black out sourcebook pages pertaining to gnomes.
**"Irrational hatred of gnomes" is not a valid character flaw and may not be used to justify PK'ing the tinker gnome.
***No longer allowed to "accidentally" center indiscriminate spells on gnomes, friendly or otherwise.
****Now restricted to one "reminder" that I hate gnomes per session.
*****...Two per session.
******Screw it, nobody can play gnomes. :smalltongue:

Kazyan

2013-03-06, 11:05 PM

*Having a Tiny character capable of horribly mauling every other PC in the party except the rogue (but including the wizard), with no resource expenditure, is considered in poor taste.

Zahhak

2013-03-06, 11:13 PM

Just pray to the User that you don't stumble upon 4Chan or any of the more disreputable sub-reddits…

And see that's the thing I'm thinking about: websites would be different locations, but other then an actual Tron move to create other beings, how would you simulate other creates? And what would be files/programs? And how would they be impacted by changes in the file/program, or changes in the website (a big issue with wikis and forums!).

Maybe this should be its own thread...

Kane0

2013-03-06, 11:26 PM

*Having a Tiny character capable of horribly mauling every other PC in the party except the rogue (but including the wizard), with no resource expenditure, is considered in poor taste.

** Not to persuade everyone else at the gaming table that this is, in fact, an awesome idea and said tiny character should be permitted to stay onboard.

Ksheep

2013-03-06, 11:34 PM

And see that's the thing I'm thinking about: websites would be different locations, but other then an actual Tron move to create other beings, how would you simulate other creates? And what would be files/programs? And how would they be impacted by changes in the file/program, or changes in the website (a big issue with wikis and forums!).

Maybe this should be its own thread...

If I recall my TRON lore, the humanoid beings were programs (well, aside from the Users, but that's a different matter). You would also have Bits (and, from the 2003 game, Bytes), which would hover around and deliver information, Gridbugs, which are glitches that can swarm over and derez programs… and various other things. I think the enemies from the 2003 game gives a good starting point.

Oh, and yeah, this probably should have it's own thread…

* I may no longer derail threads with my freaky in-depth nerdy knowledge.

Zahhak

2013-03-07, 12:15 AM

I tried in homebrew but the site crashed...

I'll try again

Posted (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=14845466#post14845466), just for you KSheep

DigoDragon

2013-03-07, 07:40 AM

It stops being awesome the moment you remember how much of the internet is used for porn, illegal downloads, and online gambling.

No, I'm pretty sure my group would only label that as a bonus. :smallbiggrin:

I'm no longer allowed to try and squick, scare, or otherwise spend a lot of time in an attempt to rattle my players. They're pretty hardy against such things, short of the roommate's cat jumping on the battle mat and imploding.
When the jaded player ponders finding a way to break the GM's railroading, I'm not allowed to offer suggestions, especially if I'm joking. Somehow the derailed train lands on me and there's never enough hit points to soak that.

Guizonde

2013-03-07, 08:06 AM

** Not to persuade everyone else at the gaming table that this is, in fact, an awesome idea and said tiny character should be permitted to stay onboard.

um... does an 7inch pixie count as tiny? if so, i played with one. i was a troll paladin and he was a pixie wizard, so he couldn't take me down even if he tried, but it made for a devastating tag-team, and a very memorable one-shot, since i can't play trolls again, and he can't play wizards again...

***there's a reason why tiny characters and exagerated damage output to size ratios are banned

Kazyan

2013-03-07, 11:36 AM

***there's a reason why tiny characters and exagerated damage output to size ratios are banned

****The Tiny character cannot be significantly more durable than most of the Medium party, either.

Karoht

2013-03-07, 05:00 PM

Tiny Characters + Sneak Attack damage are hillarious. Bonuses to stealth, lots of easy hiding spots...
oh um... *clears throat*
*Tiny Characters + Sneak Attack are not allowed
**Especially if they inflict 18 (3 * 6 Attacks) STR damage per round, no save.
***From range.
****Hitting Flat Footed Touch AC's.
*****With the options to boost that to 24 STR damage per round.
******With poisons on every shot to potentially cause yet more STR damage.

Man on Fire

2013-03-08, 09:17 AM

* Cannot use homonyms into making pulling an object from your pocket sound like an act of exhibitionism
* Color Spray is not "Gay Ray".
** DM, if player violating this rule is confused what Color Spray actually did to him, you are not allowed to tell him Gay Ray threatened his fragile feeling of mansculinity.

From my last game.

ThatOneGuy79

2013-03-08, 08:23 PM

(From a few years ago, when I was DMing)

*The person playing the Ranger is not allowed to tell the DM to "do your worst, I can take it"
**Especially if they were raised by the deity of nature.
***And part of the ruling noble family
****Suspicious floating magical gemstones of unknown origin are suspicious for a reason.

Sith_Happens

2013-03-09, 01:29 AM

* Color Spray is not "Gay Ray".

Of course not, it's a cone.:smalltongue:

beau highbill

2013-03-09, 04:25 PM

*I may not take leadership if I am a necromantic wizard with the intention of slaying all of my followers as an easy source of skeletons
**I may not take leadership as a bard
***I may not take leadership as a minionmancer cleric with the intention of slaying my followers for use with desecrate and animate dead.
****No bards
*****No leadership

TuggyNE

2013-03-09, 07:12 PM

Erik Vale

2013-03-09, 08:25 PM

*I may not take leadership if I am a necromantic wizard with the intention of slaying all of my followers as an easy source of skeletons

***I may not take leadership as a minionmancer cleric with the intention of slaying my followers for use with desecrate and animate dead.

******* Especially as that is the 'purpose' of undead leadership.
******** I am not allowed to take Undead Leadership as well as Normal Leadership.

beau highbill

2013-03-09, 09:26 PM

*I may not play a PF barbarian and only put ranks into Use Magical Device

Guizonde

2013-03-09, 11:30 PM

*when in doubt, the answer isn't "more dakka"
**neither is it "more cowbell", despite it totally being justified

Reltzik

2013-03-10, 08:30 PM

* No matter what my strength, or my modifier in perform (juggling), I may not juggle hostile ogres.
** Even IF I hit the absurd DC that the DM foolishly set.
*** Any diplomacy rolls to make the ogres non-hostile are automatically negated when I attempt to juggle them.

vasharanpaladin

2013-03-11, 01:48 AM

*when in doubt, the answer isn't "more dakka"

**Nor is it "more choppa."
***Yes, there is such a thing as "enough dakka."
****No, that thing is not the Chouginga Gurren-Lagann.
*****...Why are you throwing your chair at my head? :smalleek:

Karoht

2013-03-11, 09:26 AM

*I may not play a PF barbarian and only put ranks into Use Magical DeviceK, this one needs explanation.

Bucky

2013-03-11, 10:10 AM

*I may only attempt unarmed strikes with my arms, legs and head
**And my tongue doesn't count as part of my head

A Tad Insane

2013-03-11, 02:53 PM

*trying to make the rest of the party Anatidaephobic can no longer be one of my goals
**Especially if I'm LG
***It's in bad tast to make the bbeg Anatidaephobic
****Ducks no longer exist in any game ever
5*No longer allowed to make ducks
6*If I so much as mention ANYTHING that can be viewed as relating to ducks, I must leave the session
7*Saying 'mission accomplised' as I leave the room WILL get things thrown at me
8*I must always make sure I'm not on nutella withdraw before playing a game, bad things happen when I'm on nutella withdraw

ericgrau

2013-03-11, 03:17 PM

K, this one needs explanation.

In Pathfinder cross class skills are more useful and for that matter it's trivial to get a single skill as a class skill. 1 skill means he dumped int. It would not be hard to make Grug the smasher one of the most versatile scroll magicians imaginable. "We must find golden orb of plot forwarding? Grug know! Grug have paper. Locate object!"

beau highbill

2013-03-11, 08:56 PM

K, this one needs explanation.

Having a conversation with my DM about how he felt that my wizard wouldn't be able to put any ranks in UMD to use a wand of CMW because it's trained only, I decided to ask about making a barbarian instead. All ranks went into UMD, and when he got mad I pointed out that Activate Blindly makes provisions for that sort of thing. Needless to say that didn't go over well which leads me to

*No barbarians xD

beau highbill

2013-03-12, 12:14 AM

A rule that I've decided to enforce upon myself
*My evil wizard may not use a combination of lock gaze and burning gaze in order to win a staring contest with a paladin

Scorpier

2013-03-12, 08:16 AM

* I can no longer play a Werebear Bear totem Barbarian that prestiges into Bear warrior.
"I turn into a werebear, then I rage and turn into a bear."
* I am also not allowed to make bear puns, even if I'm a BarBEARian.
* I am not allowed to make bad puns.
* I am not allowed to make ANY puns.

LordVonDerp

2013-03-12, 03:29 PM

*Not to ask how one can PLUNGER a pirate cove.

:smallbiggrin:

**"Combat Plumber" is not an appropriate character concept
***even if he is named Mario
**** No using Jump checks for all my damage

*No casting silenced Stinking Cloud and blaming it on the druid's companion
** casting Stinking Cloud silently does not increase the DC
*** No igniting the Stinking Cloud

Guizonde

2013-03-12, 07:27 PM

**"Combat Plumber" is not an appropriate character concept

that's exactly what i need! i'm going to homebrew a game for a few friends to get them into pen and paper, and i needed an idea for a knowledgeable npc! at first, i was thinking a kind of old guy, "seen it all" type! rather, i'll go with either Tuttle/buttle, or mario (appropriately grimdarkified, and grimydarkified, cos, you know... post-apocalyptic).

thank you for the term "combat plumber"!

fun fact, i called my dm since we're gonna head into sewers. guess what i'm banned as a reroll? :smallbiggrin:

beau highbill

2013-03-13, 12:52 AM

*I may not give the Eye of Vecna to the character in the party with the lowest will save, just to see what happens.

Doing that constitutes re rolling of characters with the first assignment being "Hunt down beau"

beau highbill

2013-03-13, 01:48 AM

*I may not be able to call what monster the DM is throwing at us, when the description the DM gives is less than a sentence long, doing so gets me kicked in the leg by the DM

Slipperychicken

2013-03-13, 12:37 PM

If I recall my TRON lore, the humanoid beings were programs (well, aside from the Users, but that's a different matter). You would also have Bits (and, from the 2003 game, Bytes), which would hover around and deliver information, Gridbugs, which are glitches that can swarm over and derez programs… and various other things. I think the enemies from the 2003 game gives a good starting point.

*If this happens, I absolutely must include Crawlers (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Web_crawler). The name even sounds like they're dystopan spider-machines of doom.

Zahhak

2013-03-13, 01:01 PM

There's a thread in the Homebrew area titled "Explore the Internet" about this, if anyone here is interested and not aware.

DigoDragon

2013-03-14, 07:17 AM

*I may not give the Eye of Vecna to the character in the party with the lowest will save, just to see what happens.

Also not allowed to go trolling the black markets trying to sell the "Head of Vecna".

Slipperychicken

2013-03-14, 07:33 AM

Also not allowed to go trolling the black markets trying to sell the "Head of Vecna".

**Not allowed to use this item to trick plot-important NPCs into suicide.
***Especially not the BBEG
****Even if he is looking for Vecna-parts to attach to himself.
*****Tricking other PCs in this manner to steal their loot is right out.
******The only "Head of Vecna" in existence is sitting atop Vecna's neck.
*******No, I cannot take it from him.
********Vecna is not willing to trade his own head for a "Head of Ao".
*********Vorpal weapons are right out.

Reltzik

2013-03-15, 03:48 PM

********* May not clone Vecna and harvest the clone's body parts.

* No longer allowed to attack party members.
** No longer allowed to create super-cheesy builds.
*** No, really, a build has to have at least one weakness. Like superman to kryptonite or something. Yeah, sure, an uber-fighter with a low will save is fine.
**** No longer allowed to create an uber-fighter with a low will save, see restriction three entries above this one.
***** Also, docked XP for playing the DM's restrictions off each other.

Slipperychicken

2013-03-15, 03:57 PM

*** No, really, a build has to have at least one weakness. Like superman to kryptonite or something. Yeah, sure, an uber-fighter with a low will save is fine.

**** "Aleax of me who wins initiative" is not an acceptable weakness.
*****Simulacra of yourself are not considered weaknesses either.

Amidus Drexel

2013-03-15, 05:44 PM

Another session, so new things!

*We may not pretend that an NPC has a speech impediment for the purpose of a pun.
**We may not move hyphens in the description of doors to provide for inappropriate humor.
***The resulting jokes may not lead to us nicknaming a city after the ones mentioned in Genesis 19.
****Doubly so, given that there is a city in the setting that has already been destroyed by divine wrath.

*The DM does not appreciate us making every NPC/town/area name into a pun.
**Please, for the sake of his sanity, stop. Look, the poor guy can't even make up a name off the top of his head without you doing that.
(and, with regards to the one in my sig, I didn't miss a beat with that one. :smallcool: It wasn't the last pun we made about him, either.)

saxavarius

2013-03-15, 09:52 PM

*may not come to game drunk
**Or buzzed
***may not drink heavily at game; this leads to DM headaches trying to contort the plot to my antics.
****It doesn't matter how funny it is no alcohol

Amidus Drexel

2013-03-16, 12:23 AM

*may not come to game drunk
**Or buzzed
***may not drink heavily at game; this leads to DM headaches trying to contort the plot to my antics.
****It doesn't matter how funny it is no alcohol

*****This goes doubly so for the DM

enderlord99

2013-03-16, 12:58 AM

*****This goes doubly so for the DM

Hi, mds"mDe" i rxelny"peaarsDe"Dee.! How's it going?

******No beer regardless of whether I'm actively doing anything or not.
*******If I know can't spell something properly, not allowed to try anyway.
********If I know I can't pronounce something properly, not allowed to try anyway.
*********Root beer is now considered a type of beer, and therefore banned. Stop trying to say that sassy-gorilla word-thingy!

inuyasha

2013-03-16, 02:44 AM

Hi, mds"mDe" i rxelny"peaarsDe"Dee.! How's it going?

******No beer regardless of whether I'm actively doing anything or not.
*******If I know can't spell something properly, not allowed to try anyway.
********If I know I can't pronounce something properly, not allowed to try anyway.
*********Root beer is now considered a type of beer, and therefore banned. Stop trying to say that sassy-gorilla word-thingy!
**********Wait what...I am drunk...root beer aint beer
***********NO F**KIN DRINKING!

Arbane

2013-03-16, 02:55 AM

**********Wait what...I am drunk...root beer aint beer
***********NO F**KIN DRINKING!

A real one: All drinking at the table must be done from spill-proof containers. Keep the caps on bottles when not actively imbibing.

(I try to obey this one, from bitter experience.)

Kane0

2013-03-16, 04:14 AM

* I am no longer allowed to bring all my newly bought minis to the next session and 'encourage' everyone to use them
**I am no longer to be surprised when the DM does opt to use them. In an encounter. All at once.
***I am no longer to remark about the stat cards that accompany the minis when used in this fashion
****I am no longer to be surprised when the DM uses the stat cards instead of an appropriate CR modification after I point them out.
*****I am definitely not allowed to pull my party through said encounter easily with minimal losses/resource use, then announce that next session I'll be bringing more/new minis.
******No more minis for me, I use someone else's from now on.

beau highbill

2013-03-16, 04:36 AM

A real one: All drinking at the table must be done from spill-proof containers. Keep the caps on bottles when not actively imbibing.

(I try to obey this one, from bitter experience.)

What do you mean a "real one"? All of the ones I've posted are things I've done, or tried to do, and subsequently been banned from repeating

enderlord99

2013-03-16, 10:13 AM

**********Wait what...I am drunk...root beer aint beer

I was referencing the fact that root beer is also called sarsaparilla (Sass-puh-rill-uh).

Slipperychicken

2013-03-16, 11:04 AM

I was referencing the fact that root beer is also called sarsaparilla (Sass-puh-rill-uh).

*I am not permitted to make Fallout references when the DM insists on using the word "sarsaparilla".

Guizonde

2013-03-16, 01:08 PM

*I am not permitted to make Fallout references when the DM insists on using the word "sarsaparilla".

**i will be booted into the [glasses pull] sunset if i talk about sarsaparilla :smallcool: [cue "yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaahh!!]

before the session:
*not allowed to use trees as weapons. again. this time it's a blanket rule. no exceptions.
*"chaotic bitter" is not an alignment, so i shouldn't even think of summoning undead just to rebuke and banish them with an undead character, and no, i won't get xp for it.
**"rebuke undead" still does not consist solely of hurling abuse at undead.
***while allowed a pure "vengeance" ranger for my necropolitan halfling, not allowed to learn rebuke undead.
*not allowed to swap bow training for halfling war sling training in the above halfling. (shame, would have been logical).
**if for some reason my halfling is hurling abuse at undead, i can't suddenly yell "shut the hell up!" and discover that i'm a sorceror because i sent a fireball. lightning is fine.
***"necropolitan halfling eldritch knight? from a ranger-sorceror? seriously?"
****"mystic theurge?! ok, eldritch knight it is." (not my intention, but i like trolling my dm)
*permanent prestidigitation does not explain why my halfling has a hot-pink mohawk. that haircut is not explainable, never has, never will

new ones from last night's session:

*regarding insulting the dm's mooks, i either should tell the dm how i come up with them, or stop.
** that feat that grants you combat insults to distract opponents? banned. i don't need more reasons to insult mooks or render them even more efficient.
*i should warn the dm next time i do something completely unexpected but totally pragmatic.
**next time i look through the rulebook to find "regeneration", i shouldn't give up looking for it, chop off the sorceror's hand, heal the wound, and say "i'll grow it back when i've found a way to do it". the dm's eyes will boggle.
*vorpal dwarven war axe? yeeeaaaah, no way will you get it.
**especially if it's to replace my scalpel!
*next time i'm wading through the cleric spell lists, i will turn the page when reading the following: "know all languages and writings", "augury", "commune", "prismatic sphere", "regeneration" (for the sole purpose of grafting mook body parts to the sorceror), and "explosive berries and acorns".
**no grafting the sorceror a tarrasque's hand (even if it's funny)
*i'm not a "kindly wandering doctor" anymore. i'm now a "grumpy pragmatic surgeon".
*can't take "improvised surgery lessons" by mail or send spells.
**this goes for the rest of my medical skills.
***there is no "battlefield surgery in the middle of a dungeon for dummies" book.
*"leadership is not a feat and thus you will roleplay it if you want it" is not an excuse for me to set up secret churches of pelor everywhere.
*nope, "pragmatic good" is not an alignment. (i'm chaotic good and i will like it!)
*no casting cure serious wounds through pimpslaps (even if my target is the visibly shaken sorceror)
**once again, this goes for fist bumps too.
***and pats on the back, unless it's cure minor wounds.
*not allowed the following anytime, anywhere (including thinking about it): blowing up the dungeon, collapsing the dungeon, summoning bigger fish on the dungeon, annihilating the dungeon. if it harms the structural integrity of the dungeon, banned.

vasharanpaladin

2013-03-16, 04:53 PM

I was referencing the fact that root beer is also called sarsaparilla (Sass-puh-rill-uh).

*Sarsaparilla does not "give me sass" and I am to stop using root beer as an excuse to snark at the DM. :smalltongue:

Baron Relic

2013-03-16, 05:23 PM

*I am no longer allowed to slingshot Dust of Dryness that has absorbed up to the maximum amount of water into a Dragon's mouth.
** Similarly I am no longer allowed to carry any amount of Bag's of Holding if said bags are filled with nothing but barrels of gunpowder.
*** In fact anything involving me using a barrel of anything is to be considered a bad idea.

Ksheep

2013-03-16, 06:48 PM

*vorpal dwarven war axe? yeeeaaaah, no way will you get it.

** If you ask for Vorpal Dwarven War Ale, all you will get is a blank stare
*** The same goes for normal Dwarven War Ale

Slipperychicken

2013-03-16, 11:59 PM

*I am no longer allowed to slingshot Dust of Dryness that has absorbed up to the maximum amount of water into a Dragon's mouth.

**I may not spike the Dragon's drink with saturated Dust of Dryness.
***The Dragon is not interested in snorting the "Pleasure Crystals", which are really saturated Dust of Dryness pellets.
****Even if I succeed the Bluff roll.

Dimers

2013-03-17, 05:23 AM

** If you ask for Vorpal Dwarven War Ale, all you will get is a blank stare
*** The same goes for normal Dwarven War Ale

In my AD&D group, my character just found a couple Dwarven Battle Tankards. Not the DM's original creation -- apparently this was a published thing back in the day.

Craft (Cheese)

2013-03-17, 05:29 AM

Hyena

2013-03-17, 06:51 AM

**** Except when we are playing FATAL. Then it is perfectly acceptable and even encouraged.

Craft (Cheese)

2013-03-17, 07:20 AM

**** Except when we are playing FATAL. Then it is perfectly acceptable and even encouraged.

***** If we are ever willingly playing FATAL, please kill us.

Dimers

2013-03-17, 07:50 AM

**** Except when we are playing FATAL. Then it is perfectly acceptable and even encouraged.

FATAL is imperfect, unacceptable, and discouraged-to-the-seventh-power.

Playing FATAL, likewise.

Hell, directly mentioning FATAL is pretty much in the same region.

Man on Fire

2013-03-17, 11:29 AM

Another session

* Throwing guy you're spying on into fire is a stupid idea.
* The Lich doen't look like your mother in law
** Even if you failed Will save against fear aura.
* BLOW IT ALL UP! is not vaild solution to every problem
* Cannot usee message to call another character and greet him with "moshi moshi"
* Cannot sneak up behind party wizard just to kick him in the arse.
** Especially is you made it look like you want to stab him
*** No longer allowed to complain about getting spotted in the middle of large, empty corridor

A Tad Insane

2013-03-17, 04:26 PM

*** The same goes for normal Dwarven War Ale

We must game with different dwarfs, you and I.

*No longer allowed to and root beer bottles in my homebrews and tell the players there is a reward for getting a hoard of them
**I will not be suprised when they refuse to do anything but find caps without heavy railroading

TuggyNE

2013-03-17, 07:52 PM

* The Lich doen't look like your mother in law
** Even if you failed Will save against fear aura.

*** The dream larva (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/epic/monsters/abomination.htm#dreamLarva) might, though.

Reltzik

2013-03-23, 02:28 AM

* If I fail to keep track of my HP and the DM fails to as well, I am not alive and dead at the same time.
** Nor do I obtain the abilities of quantum teleportation, the possibility of violating entropy, or any such quantum mechanics nonsense.
*** I am NOT Shroedinger's PC.
**** The DM is about to make an observation regarding my HP. What do I want it to be?

Sith_Happens

2013-03-24, 07:41 AM

Serenity RPG:

* I have the crew of the Serenity cameo as the contacts for a job, I should not be surprised when my players turn it into a firefight, purposefully or otherwise.
** When describing the portion of the crew that comes out to meet the PCs, I may not "forget" to mention that River is armed.

Zahhak

2013-03-24, 10:45 AM

When describing the portion of the crew that comes out to meet the PCs, I may not "forget" to mention that River is armed.

"I shoot Jain"
"And now River is showing your own intestines."
"Wait, how did River get my intestines out?"
"With a knife? And River is now feeding you your own intestines"
"Wait River has a knife? Alright, good game everyone"

DigoDragon

2013-03-24, 11:27 AM

Shadowrun:

No longer allowed to be clever and use a burning pace maker as a grenade against my players. What goes around, comes around and Knight Errant now has a series of pace-maker assassinations to figure out.
Not allowed to make fun of the hacker when the team finds an old fashioned key type lock. He knows how to break into non-electronic doors/windows and will embarrass you in front of the Johnson for it.

Guizonde

2013-03-24, 10:41 PM

different systems have been combined

*not allowed the following: automatic shotguns, combat heavy machine guns, automatic combat goats.
*despite my protests i may not ride goats into combat.
**goats never have and never will count for weapon proficiency
*next time i'm driving a car, and i have to choose between running over an elderly lady and her poodle i can't say "can i get both in one go?" especially if i'm a cop.
*banned gestalt characters. especially if it's to build a mystic theurge in all but name. without the inconvenients. that amount of cheese will result in the dm suffering from lactose intolerance.
*can't play a mystic theurge fluffed as a goat herder.
**same goes for a barbarian with weapon proficiency (dual-goats)
*** don't even think about druid.
****banned goat herders, sheperds, and any other herder
*no, i'm not allowed to have a pet elephant, auroch, mammoth, or anything that weighs 5 times my body weight.
**scratch that, make that 5 times a halfling's weight, and banning badgers and wolverines too.
*if it can conjure up more than a megaton of brute force, banned.
*i must warn the dm next time i cast summon wall of text irl
*hot pink is now banned from any concept sketches i draw for the campaigns

Zahhak

2013-03-25, 12:36 AM

combat heavy machine guns

There's a different kind of heavy machine gun?

automatic combat goats

Say what now?

DigoDragon

2013-03-25, 07:07 AM

Say what now?

Yes, I'm kinda wondering what the story is behind that one.

This came up over a theoretical discussion in Shadowrun--

I'm no longer allowed to create a spider-legged pak like the kind Zim wears from Invader Zim, even if I did it by the rules.
Also not allowed to talk in Zim's voice, especially if I'm the team medic. That kind of thing scares the patients.
If one of the players is trying to play Zim, I'm not allowed to be an enabler by creating an air cannon that shoots rubber pigs or wads of meat.

Haven't seen the GM bring out the banhammer so quickly in ages. :smallbiggrin:

racnor

2013-03-25, 07:20 PM

*even if immune to heat and gravity, my ofanim may not attempt to live on the sun
**if an ability is defined as affecting everything in my field of vision, I may not use it in space.
***If I drop the temperature of Time Square by 50 degrees Fahrenheit, and then burn everyone who didn't react with holy fire in an attempt to root out demons, then my mercurian has fallen from grace. No rolls will be necessary.

Guizonde

2013-03-25, 08:15 PM

There's a different kind of heavy machine gun?

as opposed to turret mounted HMG's. in other words, i can't rush headlong into a firefight spraying lead from a minigun.

Say what now?

i was pretty drunk when i asked that, so it's a bit blurry. either it was for a cybernetic goat with machine guns in its horns, a goat-shooting combat shotgun, a goat-shaped heavy machine gun, or just hitting things with a goat-shaped motorcycle.

even with context, it didn't make sense... a part of me wishes it did, though. :smallconfused:

Zahhak

2013-03-26, 12:27 AM

as opposed to turret mounted HMG's. in other words, i can't rush headlong into a firefight spraying lead from a minigun.

A heavy machine gun is a heavy machine gun. If its turret mounted, its just a heavy machine gun sitting on a turret. If it's not turret mounted and instead has a tripod, then its a heavy machine gun with a tripod. And considering a heavy machine gun weighs 50lbs, if you managed to stand while firing it at all, I would be supremely impressed.

i was pretty drunk when i asked that, so it's a bit blurry. either it was for a cybernetic goat with machine guns in its horns, a goat-shooting combat shotgun, a goat-shaped heavy machine gun, or just hitting things with a goat-shaped motorcycle.

even with context, it didn't make sense... a part of me wishes it did, though.

You must have been very drunk indeed.

I am not allowed to realize that there are few enough conceptual differences between Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, Beetlejuice, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, Bleach and that one Robin Williams movie about death, and be inspired by this realization to make a setting taking place pretty much entirely in the afterlife built by this combination of shows. It sounds cool, but nothing good will come from it.

Sith_Happens

2013-03-27, 03:20 AM

Zahhak

2013-03-27, 10:12 AM

I was thinking of him as a hollow, actually. But if he were a zanpakuto, his release phrase would definitely be "Begin the Show"

AttilaTheGeek

2013-03-30, 10:18 AM

*I may no longer cast Finger of Death at the party's obnoxious paladin in the hope that he rolls a 1 on his save.
**I may no longer cast Quickened Fly and taunt the party's paladin.

Reltzik

2013-03-30, 10:39 AM

*** My paladin is not allowed to take Exotic Weapon Proficeincy: Lasso solely for PK purposes.

Man on Fire

2013-03-30, 01:07 PM

I am not allowed to realize that there are few enough conceptual differences between Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, Beetlejuice, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, Bleach and that one Robin Williams movie about death, and be inspired by this realization to make a setting taking place pretty much entirely in the afterlife built by this combination of shows. It sounds cool, but nothing good will come from it.

You forgot Yu Yu Hakusho, Joe Black and Neil Gaiman's Death...this needs to be a setting now.

From my last game:
* If a person you know commits suicide in frot of you in restaurant full of people, it's common sense to get the hell out of there and not loudly demand your coffe.
** If after going several streets away you remember you forgot to take dead person's purse, it is common sense to not return to the place of crime and try to rob the corpse.
* Cannot abuse bond between druid and her animal companion and try to erotically stimulate the druid by petting her companion
(And this was done by another girl of the group)
* Cannot sudenly realize that in last game, hen you were improvising a stage plan, wizard gave you role of a prostitute and cast touch of idiocy on him without an explanation.
* Lying to your BBEG about the wheveabouts of McGuffin is okay...after you do something about the fact said BBEG is stragling a party member in front of you.
** Even if said party member tried to erotically stimulate you through petting your animal companion or casted touch of idiocy on you for seemingly no reason.
* Cannot take weapon proficency in throwing familiars.

DM:
* No more NPCs based on characters from Dororon Enma-kun
* If NPCs are wayangs, I am to explain to the party how they look like before they decide to hang around with them.
* Having the villain sing "because all Elvels are f***/Who love to kiss dwarven a**/And when the Dwarfs will get together/They will f*** Elves forever!" it won't make entire party of Elves and Half-Elves hate him, but be disgusted.
** Dwarven wizard wearing only his beard isn't vaild antagonist concept
* No longer allowed to base random ecounters on NXT characters
** ESPECIALLY not Leo Krueger (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JVZEX0sRjE)

Zahhak

2013-03-30, 06:11 PM

You forgot Yu Yu Hakusho, Joe Black and Neil Gaiman's Death...this needs to be a setting now.

Yu Yu Hakusho I think is actually concept breaking compared to the others. The rest you can adapt some conflicting cannon to make a more complete overall setting. But Yu Yu Hakusho I think is so different from the rest that while it can be a useful source for some parts of the setting, preferably the non-death aspects, but I think incorporating it in the actual life after death part of the game would break things. I wasn't even aware of Joe Black, and I hate myself for it, but I haven't read Death.

Wraith

2013-03-31, 07:38 AM

I wasn't even aware of Joe Black, and I hate myself for it, but I haven't read Death.

You would be doing yourself a favour if you went out right now and bought the Neil Gaiman's Sandman collections in which she prominently appears. They really are rather good.

* Terminal Brain Tumours do not give you magic powers, a la Phenomenon
** Mazarin-Rashoud nodes (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TabletopGame/Aberrant) don't count, because they're not 'terminal'.
*** Especially in a game of Warhammer Fantasy Role-Play.
**** Unless you are a Chosen of Nurgle, the Corpulent God of Disease and Decay.
* Not allowed to play as a Chosen of Nurgle.
* "Accidentally" having your sneaky, none-combat Cat Burglar PC become infected with Lycanthropy and then "accidentally" one-shot'ing the Vampire BBEG with your bare hands is rude; do not do it.
** If you absolutely must do it, then a least do so BEFORE he has already killed the other 4 members of the Party.
*** And by 'he' then yes, I am referring to the combined efforts of the Vampire BBEG AND the Werewolf PC....
**** No longer allowed to play as a Chosen of Tzeentch, the Manipulative Lord of Change and Scheming.
* Don't bother asking to play as Chosen of Anything, either.

* Rules 1 through 10 are not suspended just because we're now playing Dark Heresy.
** I said NO!

Guizonde

2013-04-01, 07:42 AM

and here we go again!

c.o.p.s:

not allowed the following:

-close combat spec: vehicles is banned.
-can't dual-wield bystanders. this goes for dual-wielding perps too.
-emp's are fine if their blast radius is not calculated beyond 20ft. frying all of L.A's circuits to stop a gang of techno-hackers due to laziness and practicality is not allowed.
-i am now forever banned ied's.
-incendiary exponents must be vetted by the dm. an underground parking lot is banned.
-can't make called shots to the following: feelings, ego, middle or index fingers, thumbs, ears, genital areas.
-assault rifles have the "suppressing fire" rule. this does not mean i can use that rule to riddle a perp with bullets. even if he deserved it.
-surgery with a shotgun? bad idea.
-surfing on trucks? sure. making rude gestures at reinforced trucks? banned

warhammer!
(warning: last session, my lizard got major experience in language)
*when the team tells me to go bag a few chickens to eat, i can't get frustrated by failing all my rolls to catch them and shoot the suckers with my blowgun. no one except me is immune to that poison.
*my lizard cannot have learned to speak simple sentences based on frustration. it's just started applying what it's learned out loud.
*fishing by grabbing the fish? fine. tying a fishing line to my tail and aping the fisherman will get me odd looks.
*not allowed to start a barbecue underwater and under heavy rains again.
*we're not using "spongebob squarepants physics." neither are we using "tex avery" physics, or "looney tunes" physics.
*can't say the interrogator has a walking speed of "plot". especially if it's true.
*i can't get indignant when the mage goes and accidentally crushes the elf's leg, following it by saying, "you told me you'd let me frag him! no fair!"
**plotting to murder to death fellow teammates, even if encouraged ooc, is banned.
***can't do rude gestures in the elf's back.
*banned modifying a pan-flute to get me a full-auto blowgun of death.
*"for the last time, scalping is not allowed! bad lizard! bad!"
**on a totally unrelated note, called shots to the testicles and torture are banned.
*not allowed to use the following as close combat weapons: chickens (throwing them is fine), goats, the elf's (new) peg leg, the elf, the ogre's boot, the ogre's other boot, the fisherman's hat, my tail, and coat stands
**yes, i am allowed to set up traps. no, i can't use explosives or incendiaries. using a friggin' tree to fall on pursuers will net me an apology to give to physics and logic.
***can't complain when the fisherman uses a keg of lamp oil as a last-ditch weapon. he's human. he knows how fire works.
*can't fish using a blowgun, and before i ask, i can't teach the fisherman how to fish with a blowgun.
*the following words should never be screamed in a high-pitched terror-filled voice ever again: "giant demonic mutant flaming chickens of doom", "chicken-thulu", "chicken!!!"
**setting fire to half of talabecland to run away from chicken-shaped chaos spawns? bad idea.
*the dm destroyed my fez for a reason. no, i may not ask for another one. this goes for sombreros too.
*no matter how nicely i ask, there is no way that my lizard can grow a mustache.
*it is probably a good idea that seven sessions in i start wondering why i do things that humans can't, like changing colors.
**nope, elves can't breathe underwater
*i will not try to shoot the fisherman when he asks if i can speak to chickens on account of "you're an animal aren't ya? try an' speak to the chickens!". he was not briefed by the mage that i'm in fact "magic".
**not allowed to roll my eyes at the mage's latest bogus explanation. we've got synchronized facepalming for that.
***no, being called "an animal" is not the worst insult ever for a giant chameleon.
****no, i'm not allowed to send a saurus after him.
*shooting the burgmeister? bad idea. answering to the dm when he asks for a reason, "seems like an idea." is banned too.

dnd (preemptives):
-i'm banned the ranger spell "teleport through trees", and no it doesn't grant me a bonus to climb trees.
-even if i figure out how, i'm not allowed to split the atom in a dungeon.
-can't take preferred enemy "twilight fans", "necrophiliacs", "vampires", "fanboys", "goths", "emos", and "teenagers"
-setting fire to anything bigger than one individual enemy (that is not the tarrasque) is banned. this goes for dungeons, villages, fortresses, forests, and the bbeg's lair.
-building a fire pit is fine. building a punji pit is fine. both together in one pit? nope.
-if my sentence starts with "dm...?", whatever follows is vetoed. no really. i've got a blanket-negative on asking the dm for crazy antics legitimate roleplaying questions. 0.o the answer will always be "no".

Sgt. Cookie

2013-04-04, 03:06 PM

*If I am playing Shadowrun and my Catholic priest character is able to abide by the Commandments while simultaneously being the most combat capable character, something has gone very wrong.

enderlord99

2013-04-04, 03:57 PM

Man on Fire

2013-04-04, 06:04 PM

New game:
* Redeemer Paladin who sees good in every man probably shouldn't forget how to use merciful smite.
* Singing Beer Beer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXy6JHYa5Ks) won't make you god of all Dwarves. Especially if you're half-elf
* If you ride all day long through desert in armor and then sleep in it, your character alignment will become either well boiled or crispy fried.
** Even if you have Endurance
* If after five minutes of making him your aquittance you make paladin feel like he needs a friggin drink, you're doing omething wrong
* Other players call your crazy because you act like you are crazy, not because they're mean.
* druid'ss animal companion is a pather, not an overgrown cat, take this into consideration before petting it.

DM:
* Cannot trick druid into pretending to be baby puma without wild shaping.

Some I will actually try in the future:
* In Star Wars Saga pacifist Jedi who don't use lightsaber and tells all other jedi they'te tools of the dark side is vetoed.

Slipperychicken

2013-04-04, 06:05 PM

*If I am playing Shadowrun and my Catholic priest character is able to abide by the Commandments while simultaneously being the most combat capable character, something has gone very wrong.

***This situation does not prove my character's religion to be true.
****I may not challenge clergy of other religions to mortal combat.
*****Their refusal is not further proof of my deity's superiority.

*The Papacy does not abide by the "you keep what you kill" model of succession.

Baroncognito

2013-04-04, 06:07 PM

-can't take preferred enemy "twilight fans", "necrophiliacs", "vampires", "fanboys", "goths", "emos", and "teenagers"

I don't see why not, though 'fanboys' is a bit vague. I'd allow it.

ThatOneGuy79

2013-04-04, 06:21 PM

(2nd edition, back in the day)

* If my 3rd level wizard is able to get the killing critical hit - with a weapon that they didn't even wield - there's a problem.
* When my 'big dumb fighter' is able to figure out a puzzle that took the DM a whole year to plan out... in 5 minutes... things have gone sideways.
** If the same fighter wishes the BBEG back to life, rewriting several centuries of history in the process, and the DM nearly quits running because of it... there's a big problem.
*** No laughing at the DM

Rockphed

2013-04-05, 12:16 AM

**No, boiling a young goat in its mother's milk does not give you super fighting powers: he meant the one against killing.

But the bible is rather less specific on kneecaps.

***This situation does not prove my character's religion to be true.
****I may not challenge clergy of other religions to mortal combat.
*****Their refusal is not further proof of my deity's superiority.

******Challenging other clergy shall involve their gods' portfolios.
*******Yes, you can challenge the church of the god of baking to a cooking contest.
********No, that does not mean you get to set it up like iron chef.
********Nor can you use spells like Magnificent Feast.
*********Ordering Take-out is right out.

Ksheep

2013-04-05, 12:54 AM

But the bible is rather less specific on kneecaps.

I used the same reasoning with my roommate when I showed him that chain of "Things not to do".

* My Paladin's rational for having a Heavy Repeating Crossbow may not be "Shooting rabbits at the abby".
** No, my Cloistered Cleric may not have insane bonuses to Knowledge (Military Tactics)
*** My monastic monk who has been locked away in a monastery for most of his life should not know the exact make, model, speed, and owner of a ship after finding a scrap of sail that was torn from it.
**** Religious characters are not allowed to know inordinate amounts of information about anything even slightly military or violent in nature.

Vendarien

2013-04-05, 01:07 AM

*as a DM I may not make doors that are not trapped or locked.
** a door that slides into the wall dose not count as a trap.
***even if said door almost kills the whole party.

Slipperychicken

2013-04-05, 01:15 AM

** a door that slides into the wall dose not count as a trap.
***even if said door almost kills the whole party.

****The supermarket's front door is not a trap.
*****I will not gain experience from disabling them.

Sith_Happens

2013-04-05, 01:35 AM

* If my 3rd level wizard is able to get the killing critical hit - with a weapon that they didn't even wield - there's a problem.

Funny story: In the past eight levels as a Wizard in 3.5, exactly three times have I, upon figuring that an enemy is one round tops from death, decided to shoot it with my crossbow instead of wasting a spell. All three of those times I scored a fatal critical hit.

Baroncognito

2013-04-05, 02:19 AM

Funny story: In the past eight levels as a Wizard in 3.5, exactly three times have I, upon figuring that an enemy is one round tops from death, decided to shoot it with my crossbow instead of wasting a spell. All three of those times I scored a fatal critical hit.

I had a sorcerer in one game, he went the entire campaign without using his rapier (which he was only proficient with because he was an elf). He was so disgusted when he ended up having to kill the last enemy of the campaign with a weapon instead of magic.

Chilingsworth

2013-04-05, 02:55 AM

**** Religious characters are not allowed to know inordinate amounts of information about anything even slightly military or violent in nature.

*5 No, I may not play a cleric or paladin of Tempus, Red Knight, or any other deity of war or strategy.

If I chose to give my character an intelligence of 5, I will play him as an idiot.
*I will not play a character with an intelligence of 5.

QuidEst

2013-04-05, 09:32 AM

Even if he's Lawful Good, can make practically any save, has really high AC and hp, and is equipped with Wings of Flying, my Paladin is not Superman.

WyvernLord

2013-04-05, 10:07 AM

Even if he's Lawful Good, can make practically any save, has really high AC and hp, and is equipped with Wings of Flying, my Paladin is not Superman.

**And the rogue can't be batman.
***Neither can the wizard.
****The Druid can be aquaman.

Wookieetank

2013-04-05, 12:10 PM

**And the rogue can't be batman.
***Neither can the wizard.
****The Druid can be aquaman.

5* The paladin can be Thor though.

Slipperychicken

2013-04-05, 02:43 PM

5* The paladin can be Thor though.

6* The Paladin and Cleric may not use trial-by-combat to decide who gets to be Thor.

Doorhandle

2013-04-05, 05:00 PM

6* The Paladin and Cleric may not use trial-by-combat to decide who gets to be Thor.

*As a Rouge, cannot ambush the winner and declare MYSELF Thor.
*Not to yell "team three star!" when I do it, too.
*If I can do this to the actual deified thor, I deserve the title: but I'm still not allowed to do it.

Ksheep

2013-04-05, 05:03 PM

*As a Rouge, cannot ambush the winner and declare MYSELF Thor.

**If I attempt this, I should not be surprised when everyone claims that I'm actually Loki…

Man on Fire

2013-04-05, 07:54 PM

* My character did not learn how to walk on hot coal from masters Savage and Heineman.

ThatOneGuy79

2013-04-05, 11:57 PM

Funny story: In the past eight levels as a Wizard in 3.5, exactly three times have I, upon figuring that an enemy is one round tops from death, decided to shoot it with my crossbow instead of wasting a spell. All three of those times I scored a fatal critical hit.

That's pretty funny!

Story behind my post: The ranger shot the BBEG, critically hitting it. My turn came around and I cast Enlarge on the arrow. Anyone remember those lovely 2E critical hit charts? :P

Doorhandle

2013-04-06, 06:12 AM

That's pretty funny!

Story behind my post: The ranger shot the BBEG, critically hitting it. My turn came around and I cast Enlarge on the arrow. Anyone remember those lovely 2E critical hit charts? :P

Enlarge worked that way in 2e?

..... *CUE INSANE LAUGHTER*

*Not to raid orcs-must-die for ideas to trap dungeons with.

Sgt. Cookie

2013-04-06, 09:13 AM

**Or Oglaf.

Baroncognito

2013-04-06, 02:48 PM

**Or Oglaf.

So you're not going to paint "Overthinking" on a dungeon wall?

Reltzik

2013-04-06, 03:45 PM

(Below is made up, but I'm thinking of this scenario for my current backup character, less as a "this might actually play out thing" and more of a "this is how my character would act" thing. I find a fleshed-out backup character that I've shared with the DM is a good way to keep my current character from dying. It's either an "It doesn't rain if you bring an umbrella" thing or a "There is NO WAY the DM is letting THAT into his game" thing.)

* Wizards are to spend their int-based skill points on USEFUL skills. Profession: Interior Designer does not count.
** Am not to interrupt the BBEG's monologue to critique his lair's tapestries.
*** Or throw rug.
*** Or lighting scheme.
*** Or throne.
*** Or wardrobe.
** Lose the lisp, already.
** When thrown into a dark, dank, dismal tower dungeon after a humiliating defeat, doomed to be executed in horrific fashion on the morrow if we fail to escape, the operative terms are "defeat, dungeon, execution, escape". "Dank dark and dismal" are NOT the correct words to focus my attention on.
*** The dungeon's color scheme does not constitute cruel and unusual punishment, nor would the BBEG care if it did.
**** He certainly would not be moved by my attempts to "spruce up the place" to drop all charges and hire us on.
**** "PASTELS!" is NOT a viable escape plan.
*** Installing stained glass windows overlooking the moat should NOT be my priority. I should be focused on escaping.
**** Okay, FINE, with an ungodly-good roll I could do it without tools, but I'd need materials and...
***** No longer allowed to put that many ranks into Profession: Interior Designer.
***** No longer allowed to loot stained glass windows.
***** No longer allowed to store them in the rogue's hidden Bag of Holding which the guards missed.
*** ONCE AGAIN, installing a stained glass window was NOT a viable escape plan, and I should NOT have wasted the party's limited time engaged in such a trivi--

..........

**** It is NOT against my alignment to allow the barbarian to break the cell's stained glass window as a means of escape.

Guizonde

2013-04-06, 06:40 PM

i've got a boatload of new bans (as usual). the most "out-there" one however is this one:

*i'm not allowed to play a luck-bringing white pig.
**i'm not allowed to counteroffer playing as the easter bunny
***i can choose a shape-shifter as base race. yes, it's a phookah... i'm not allowed to help the dm explain why i'm playing a 5 foot tall rabbit, with monocle and top hat. with an odd hobby of painting eggs.
****i'm however banned to go questing for an ostrich egg.

and if anyone is interested in this system, it's called castle falkenstein, where giant bunnies are better pugilists than dapper belle époque gentlemen!

NM020110

2013-04-06, 06:45 PM

*Whilst posting to the fora, one should look up the definitions of "rouge" and "rogue" before using either word.

Ksheep

2013-04-06, 07:26 PM

* I may not insist on playing "Hard Mode" by playing as a Samurai with the Vow of Poverty.
** Nor may I take Vow of Purity when playing in a world infested with undead.
*** Especially if I have both Vow of Purity and Vow of Poverty, meaning I can't carry around Holy Water to purify myself after every battle.
**** I may not take the entire Sacred Vow chain with any of the following: Ranger, Scout, Rogue, Fighter, Samurai, Artificer, Wizard…
***** You know what, no Vows

** I may not play "Expert Hard Mode" by playing a Truenamer with the entire Sacred Vow chain.
*** I may not proceed to become the most effective member of the party…

Guizonde

2013-04-07, 07:47 AM

** I may not play "Expert Hard Mode" by playing a Truenamer with the entire Sacred Vow chain.
*** I may not proceed to become the most effective member of the party…

****by doing the following, i will have broken math. guess what? no breaking math allowed

seriously though, how can you pull that off? are you so unoptimized you come out overoptimized?

Doorhandle

2013-04-07, 08:07 AM

Particularly as the only way to REALLY max-out truespeak is with the item familiar you can't acquire...

Ksheep

2013-04-07, 11:51 AM

I haven't actually tried it, so I don't know. However, if the rest of the party is really unoptimized…

Oh, and I'm sure that with the various buffs from the Vows, you might be able to play a bit more physical than normal… maybe.

Reltzik

2013-04-07, 10:21 PM

****by doing the following, i will have broken math. guess what? no breaking math allowed

seriously though, how can you pull that off? are you so unoptimized you come out overoptimized?

***** More generally, not allowed to break the DM's brain. (Yes, this rule HAS been made for me, specifically.)

DigoDragon

2013-04-08, 07:26 AM

Shadowrun--

Not allowed to let the team's underaged hacker case a bar for a potential ambush on his own.
Not allowed to bet the underaged team hacker that he can't get a date while casing said bar.
The team's hacker is not allowed to bring a 14-year old dwarf girl as his "Date" to the safehouse.
Double not cool when the 14-year old still constitutes that the hacker is dating an "older woman".

Our hacker got "Gib-Slapped" so hard by the team sniper that his brain rebooted.
Just as well, the sniper was the one who lost the aforementioned bet. :smallamused:

Karoht

2013-04-08, 10:08 AM

* My character did not learn how to walk on hot coal from masters Savage and Heineman.
**My character did not learn how to [insert any skill or ability] from Mythbusters.

twitchygecko

2013-04-08, 01:57 PM

*I do not activate nimbus of light by clapping twice
**I may not flicker nimbus on and off to antagonize zombies

*My response to anything the party rogue does is not detect evil
**my response to walking into a room is not detect evil
***no more detect evil

*I'm not allowed to have a +10 to diplomacy at level 2
**I'm not allowed to touch the book of exalted deeds any more
***not allowed to be a palladin
****or a monk

Ksheep

2013-04-08, 02:09 PM

**My character did not learn how to [insert any skill or ability] from Mythbusters.

*** Or from MacGyver
**** Or from James Bond
***** Or from Bill Nye
****** Or from Mr. Bean
******* No more learning skills from TV shows or movies.

sleepy

2013-04-08, 02:59 PM

I just dug up something from the past from my old thread subscriptions: an old gestalt arena match (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=149460) (brainbreaking begins on page 2). My character was this ungodly thing (http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=198413). I can't remember what rules or insanity resulted in that.

*I am pretty sure I may no longer attempt to abuse Scorpion's Grasp.
**whether or not the result is actually any good

nedz

2013-04-08, 05:57 PM

*as a DM I may not make doors that are not trapped or locked.
** a door that slides into the wall dose not count as a trap.
***even if said door almost kills the whole party.
****The supermarket's front door is not a trap.
*****I will not gain experience from disabling them.
******I can not use an ordinary curtain across a hall as a security door, even if the party are so inept at opening doors it stops them dead, for three rounds.

Mnemophage

2013-04-09, 12:20 AM

* Any skill, spell, power, ability or item that inflicts testicular torsion works only once.
** Also, prostate cancer.
*** Also, prion diseases.
**** Mnem is strongly discouraged from playing any more characters with a medical background.

* The accepted behavior when defeating a powerful opponent which has poisoned a party member is to treat said compatriot's affliction, not harvest the enemy's venom sacs.

* Mnem is never to utter the words "secret Illuminati reptile overlord" ever again, unless her character has taken severe Sanity loss.
** ESPECIALLY not as a character concept.

* No one will ever respond positively to the phrase, "Here, hold this for me until we get past the checkpoint". Regardless of Diplomacy rolls. Regardless of natural 20s.

* If Mnem continues to interrogate captives by using her psionic powers to show them their own conception, her alignment will start shifting WAY down.

* Mnem is never again allowed to tailor the sound of her sonic weaponry.
** Even - nay, especially - if she provides Youtube sound clips.

* Mnem is no longer allowed to charge onlookers for sneak peeks at the catfolk monk bathing.
** Even if she is fully capable of defending herself from the monk's inevitable violent response.
*** Especially if she still has a good crowd and a Dominate spell prepared.

DigoDragon

2013-04-09, 07:28 AM

**My character did not learn how to [insert any skill or ability] from Mythbusters.

I remember having a character try an experiment that I saw on Mythbusters about alternative fuels for cars. I don't remember the details, but the end result was that I accidently set a very expensive BMW on fire.

The GM gave me hell for that one. :smallbiggrin:

Not allowed to drive an unarmored SUV into a crowd of zombies at high speed.
Not allowed to dare a fire elemental into a drinking contest.
Not allowed to do my Al Gore impersonation to trick cybermen into thinking I'm one of them.
Not allowed to repaint the police box red when traveling to America.

Ksheep

2013-04-13, 12:39 AM

* I may not send the party on an expedition to the Barrier Peaks
** I may NOT send the party on an expedition to the Barrier Peaks
*** Especially if I only describe the various items they find
**** Doubly so if they've already faced warforged and other constructs built by an ancient, long dead race
***** Triply so if I describe the various robots to sound rather similar to the constructs seen prior.
** No, it is not a challenge to see how long it take the genre-savvy players to realize that they've stumbled upon alien technology
*** Especially if I convince them that the reason their spellcraft checks keep failing is because it magic unlike any they've seen before, and probably very high level.
** I shouldn't be surprised when the fighter in the party accidentally shoots his own face off with a blaster.

EDIT:
* If the party enters an elevator, I may not start playing "The Girl From Ipanema" as Muzak
** I may not then just sit there, letting the music play all the way through.
*** Having a DMPC ask "How long does this elevator ride take" just to point out how long they're just sitting there is just mean.
**** Especially if it causes one of the party members to ask "Wait, did we even press one of the buttons?"
***** If I answer "no", I deserve every and all books thrown my way.

Guizonde

2013-04-14, 12:54 PM

*if i ever bring in a pair of dice that makes the dm go blind with their pinkiness again, i will get the table flipped on top of me...
**not allowed to have pink dice
***not allowed to insinuate that the dm is allergic to fun

DigoDragon

2013-04-15, 07:58 AM

* I may not send the party on an expedition to the Barrier Peaks
** I may NOT send the party on an expedition to the Barrier Peaks

I laughed a lot at your list. Your version of Barrier Peaks would fit perfectly in my homebrew world. The only issue is my players never trust the elevators and would rather fight warforged for the stairs. :smallbiggrin:

More Shadowrun:

Not allowed to charge a runner more money to rent a car than it's blue book value. I am gauranteed not to see that car returned.
The party 12-year old hacker is no longer allowed to have a fembot. Even if it has no weapons, it's never "unarmed".
The 12-year old hacker is also banned from carrying a gun, least he "accidently" kills another Ares Firewatch soldier.
The team shaman is no longer allowed to use Ares firewatch soldiers as meat shields.
When the terrorists wave AK97s at the team and demand we get down on our knees with hands in the air, the response is not allowed to be "I'm not your mom last night!"
Not allowed to throw terrorists out a 30th floor balcony and then spit to see what hits the street first.

Deathkeeper

2013-04-15, 12:45 PM

* Mnem is never to utter the words "secret Illuminati reptile overlord" ever again, unless her character has taken severe Sanity loss.
** ESPECIALLY not as a character concept.

* Mnem is never again allowed to tailor the sound of her sonic weaponry.
** Even - nay, especially - if she provides Youtube sound clips.

*** "Space Dinosaur Spellslinger" is not an actual character concept

*** LDK may not use Youtube sound clips for spell verbal components
****Especially if they're all from mecha animes.

Karoht

2013-04-15, 01:32 PM

*Gnome Gninja is not a character concept.
**Replacing any instance of the letter n with Gn is not an acceptable phoenetic.
***Gn is not a suffix.
****Gn is not a consonant.
*****Gn is not a verb.

Doxkid

2013-04-16, 07:56 AM

When the terrorists wave AK97s at the team and demand we get down on our knees with hands in the air, the response is not allowed to be "I'm not your mom last night!"
Not allowed to throw terrorists out a 30th floor balcony and then spit to see what hits the street first.

*If I watch an Abridged series the day of a gaming session I'm to show up, shake my head, and curl up under the Shame Cube.
**I am not to give anyone a cannon.
***I don't care how much they love cannons.
****The other person repeating that they love cannons later does not retroactively make things better.

*Pawning family members off on my rival is lazy and will get my son killed one day.
**If my rage button is someone mistreating my son I sure as hell better know my son's name.

Sgt. Cookie

2013-04-16, 08:10 AM

This is a Shadowrun one.

*Even if the mechanics back me up, I cannot claim that my Technomancer's rugged good looks protect him from harm.

Man on Fire

2013-04-19, 06:55 AM

* Cannot reform and adopt comics relief antagonist a your student.
** Familiar, tudent and student's riding animal aren't wizard's harem.
* Cannot go around throwing Charm Person at people.
** Try to find other way to solve murder mystery than Charming fifteen people until one of them admits it was him.

DM:
* No longer allowed making a game with more than 5 named NPCs.
** Even if it's an intrigue
*** If player asked for help gave you detailed describtion of those NPCs' perosnalities and interactions it doesn't mean you must use every single bit of it.
* No longer allowed to make fight with more than two opponents
* No longer allowe to yell "F*** THE DICE!" and make final fight in freeform.

Falling

2013-04-19, 05:32 PM

*I may not anger the underworld by making a series of vicious tribes worship a pile of dirty clothes.
**I may not turn the goal of the campaign getting my slightly filthy pile of clothes recognized as a genuine deity.
***I may not proclaim myself the prophet of the dirty clothes pile.
****I may not kill the BBEG by suffocating him with the clothes.
*****I may not introduce another new deity, the all-powerful tent flap, that stops you from looking in a tent and hearing what's on the other side through it's mysterious eldritch powers.

Basically I'm not allowed near any fabric ever again.

Ksheep

2013-04-19, 07:15 PM

* I may not play as a little beggar man
** I have not lived on the Isle of Green for the past 60+ years
*** I am not known from the Liffy down to Segue
**** My name is not Ol' Johnny Dhu
***** I may not sing the story of my life whenever we reach a tavern
****** I may not actually sing the song, the other players might throw stuff at me.

TuggyNE

2013-04-19, 08:31 PM

Man on Fire

2013-04-20, 10:02 AM

From X-men game I'm in:

* My character cannot be member of Greenpeace, Amnesty International, UNICEF or any other such organisation
** Asking GM if any of them has something against Doctor Doom and what exactly, is considered bad taste.
*** If it would likely result in GM stopping the game to make deep research about North Korea, I'm not allowed to do it.

From my pathfinder game:
* Yes, you can reform more than one enemy
** Not doing it because you don't want to make DM's life harder is cute, but c'mon guys, I'll live.
* Cannot explain out of character moment from last game in a way that will make GM terrified of True Neutral for the rest of his life.

GM:
* Before stating antagonsit for huge battle I must ask myself a question "Why do I hate myself so much?".

Fibinachi

2013-04-20, 11:48 AM

As a DM, I'm no longer allowed to make a magic shield whose magic property is being enchanted to have a really maginificent magic aura
That same shield cannot also have a enchanment to go "Bing!" whenever someone hits it
Magic wand of Greater Tickling is right out
No, the magic spoon of perfectly heated soup is not an artefact people are willing to die for
I may not attempt to run the party through a dungeon crawl based on Singularity, Bioshock or System Shock
If I ever find myself muttering the words "recursive" about anything, I should stop, drop and roll.
The Greater Dungeon of the Jesterlord is not trapped with endless traps that are really just pies on top of doors, air horns and pop out foam snakes.
Making players depressed with descriptions of the treatment of NPCS is right out
Constantly having the party arrived just five minutes too late to stop the other, slightly higher level NPC party from defeating the bad guy in the dungeon is only funny three times in a row.
"Fiendish Dire Ant Swarm"? No.
"Fiendish Half Fiend Dire Ant Swarm?" No.
"Fiendish Half Fiend Commoner"? ... No!
When playing in a Low Fantasy campaign, cannot have the party suddenly encounter the UN Peacekeepers assigned to bring peace back to the collapsed African State the players are actually in.
*The big reveal cannot be that all the magic was really just giving morale bonuses
**Especially not if the UN peacekeepers start holding them to task for their murder hobo'ing ways
***As the same track, having a off world race of aliens arrive in the middle of a medieval campaign and bring "Civilization" to the place is a bad idea (even if its a good joke)