Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

[Slipperychicken]

**Nor does constant mention of how "big" I am give a bonus on Bluff, Diplomacy, Intimidate, or any other skill check, really.

***This goes double for checks made to seduce NPCs.
****In that case, it applies a penalty of -20 to the roll.
*****If I succeed despite this penalty, my character is banned for being OP.

[Zahhak]

* It doesn't matter how strong it makes me, going insane is not an option. Ever.

[DigoDragon]

****The other person repeating that they love cannons later does not retroactively make things better.

My southern shaman gal character was given a "cannon" because of that. What can I say? The GM loves that abridged series. :smallbiggrin:


Shadowrun!


No longer allowed to suggest the shaman wear my fembot's clothing as a disguise.
Not allowed to laugh at the mage for jumping out of a 14th floor window without a parachute.
I can no longer go 'Base Jumping' by defaulting on a Base Jumping skill.
No more running down 14 flights of stairs thinking it'll be 'a walk in the park'.

[Man on Fire]

* When party Wizard sends his familiar to call for your help, the proper reaction is to let it lead you to him, not casting Sleep on it!

* No longer allowed to trick storeowner into thinking you want to buy illegal animal and then "confiscate" it.
** No longer allowed then to go to the library, research local law and submit to local office application for premission of releasing said animal into it's natural einvorment in indetermiante time.
*** This entire point goes double if you're a Paladin
**** No longer allowed to do anything that would make npc call Paladin "f***ing d***".

* Charm Person is not for making you get common goods and services for peanuts.

* Casting fireball on beings made of fire is simply bad idea.
** DM: Fireball's verbal component in such situation is not "Make my monster grow!"

* When two most diplomatic embers of the party are negotiating with city guards wanting to arrest them, it's going to require more than just trying different approaches, giving up after first, failed attempts at each, without trying harder and casting obcuring mist.
** That burning, child-murdering ghost was there so you could have defeated it and somehow repay for amount of collaterall damage your run fro mthe guards caused. Not for you to bribe it into attacking the guards. Or for you to turn it into a Godzilla and unleash upon the city.

DM:
* No longer allowed to make suggestions for wizard what to summon.
** No longer allowed to suggest Gibbering Mouther just because it's my favorite monster
* My love for crazy chase scenes should be tragic, star-crossed one.
* No longer allowed to deperately try to get the game back on track with guards armed with googles of seeing invisibility.
* Magic users in city guard are offensive to wizard's religion, even if he doesn't have any.

[Sith_Happens]

* Just because I can Polymorph most of the party into hydras at once doesn't mean I should.
** Especially not when the party includes a rogue, a scout, and a bard.
* After setting the above two rules for myself, I should not be surprised when the very first encounter for which I have 4th level spell slots is the one exact situation in which I'd decided it would be okay to break them.
** That still doesn't mean I should do it.
** I may not complain when I'm the only one for which loot does not appear out of the thin air after the fight.

/actuallyhappened

P.S.- War Weaver is best prestige class.:smallbiggrin:

[Mnemophage]

* May no longer place uncooperative d20s on the corner of the table so that the bigger, stronger dice can mock them; less aware players may not be following along and try to roll them.

* If, at any point, I am capable of derailing the DM's elaborately-constructed session-spanning scene with my lunch, I am required to inform them before deploying it.

* Cannot use telekinesis to: tie shoelaces together, see if the Sith Lord is wearing anything under those robes, make sure a restaurant fails their safety check, invent deep fried coffee, split the atom, start a new religion.

* If at any point during character creation the DM recognizes my character as Ziltoid the Omniscient, my race is restricted to human.

[Man on Fire]

* Elven Wizard cannot convince dwarven guard he is ghost of his ancestor and he should let him free
** Even when using Charm Person

[Doorhandle]

* My love for crazy chase scenes should be tragic, star-crossed one.

.

Check this out. (http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/mastery/chases.html)

[Zahhak]

If, at any point, I am capable of derailing the DM's elaborately-constructed session-spanning scene with my lunch, I am required to inform them before deploying it.

Say what now?

* A three person, 6th level party does not play with the Drow in the Underdark. It scares them
** They especially don't play with Drow "politics" by spying on or assassinating important Drow
*** And especially not by getting hired by the disgraced former Drow matriarch/high priest of Lolth
**** Oh, the current head of the Drow in question happens to be a fallen Paladin, turned Blackguard, turned Death Knight? Yeah, yeah, let's not do that.

Current campaign. Set in the world of the Order of the Stick, with some stuff from JourneyQuest/The Gamers to flush out some of the details.

[PaperMustache]

*We are not allowed to settle conflicts between characters by derailing the plot and plunging the entirety of the game world into a full scale war.
**No matter how long we've seen it coming.
***On that note, I am not allowed to have my broken diplomacy character slowly take over the majority of the world in her free time ever again.

[Grim Portent]

After a judgement passed by my GM today:

*I may not have a pet space centipede.
**I may not make that space centipede a cyborg.
***I may certainly not make that cyborg centipede a conduit for my psychic powers.
****Especially when that psy-borg centipede would have more damage resistance and hit points than several other party members.

It's a shame really, I loved the idea of that pyschic space robo-centipede.

[Kymme]

Just realized that Wee Jas' holy symbol is a flaming skull
*I cannot play a paladin of Wee Jas.
**My paladin cannot alter his holy symbol so that it is wearing a pair of triangular shades.
***My paladin's special mount cannot be a giant mecha.
****My paladin of Wee Jas cannot speak with a hot blooded Japanese accent.
*****Wielding a drill drill shaped lance is punishable by a book to the face.
******YOU CAN'T BE KAMINA! GET OVER IT!

[DigoDragon]

I am no longer allowed to arm pretty pastel ponies with Henry repeating rifles.

[Grim Portent]

Another verdict by my GM:

*I may not have a pet head eating space bat.
**I may not make this head eating space bat a cyborg.
***I may certainly not make that cyborg head eating space bat a conduit for my psychic powers.
****Especially when that psy-borg space bat would be stealthier than the assassin and better at detecting concealed enemies than the paranoid desperado.

My replacement for the psy-borg centipede has been vetoed, it is therefore time to reveal my plans for a psy-borg flying space leech! (I expect it to be vetoed.)

[Arbane]

Another verdict by my GM:

*I may not have a pet head eating space bat.
**I may not make this head eating space bat a cyborg.
***I may certainly not make that cyborg head eating space bat a conduit for my psychic powers.
****Especially when that psy-borg space bat would be stealthier than the assassin and better at detecting concealed enemies than the paranoid desperado.

My replacement for the psy-borg centipede has been vetoed, it is therefore time to reveal my plans for a psy-borg flying space leech! (I expect it to be vetoed.)

Well of course, that's just silly.

***** Psy-borg Giant Miniature Space Hamsters, however, WILL be considered.

[Doorhandle]

Another verdict by my GM:

*I may not have a pet head eating space bat.
**I may not make this head eating space bat a cyborg.
***I may certainly not make that cyborg head eating space bat a conduit for my psychic powers.
****Especially when that psy-borg space bat would be stealthier than the assassin and better at detecting concealed enemies than the paranoid desperado.

My replacement for the psy-borg centipede has been vetoed, it is therefore time to reveal my plans for a psy-borg flying space leech! (I expect it to be vetoed.)

*Stop using your animal companions to one up other players! It's rude!+
* Not to make my G.M figure out the ramifications of a size huge horse.
** Saying "It's a Clydesdale" won't help.
*Not to abuse Sylvain bloodline/ eldritch heritage to get into mammoth rider 5 levels early.
** My mammoth must have a name other than "ROLFSTOMPER"
***Not to combine body-bludgeon and mammoth rider in order to beat people over the head with my mammoth.
**** Can't THROW my mammoth at people without getting a Hernia.
*****Not to combine clavier and mammoth rider in order to get double my Mount's strength modifier on the first charge each round.
****** Certainly not to scream GIGA DRILL BREAKAH as I do it.





+Seriously though. If you have suggested all of the above to the DM, that might be the real problem or a large part of it.

[Grim Portent]

*Stop using your animal companions to one up other players! It's rude!+


+Seriously though. If you have suggested all of the above to the DM, that might be the real problem or a large part of it.

To be fair they can do this stuff as well, it costs money rather than being a class feature and all our characters have the same income. Granted I don't need as many weapons as they do to be effective, but that's a benefit of being a Psyker that I wasn't aware of when I made the character.

[Sgt. Cookie]

*I may not take a crap so large that it grants me XP.

[Ksheep]

* When the PCs ask a Dwarven official why they chose the punishment that they did for the anti-hero, I may not reply with the tale of Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby
** Especially if I do so with extremely hokey fake Russian accent

[HyperInferno]

I regret doing this to my DM

In Pathfinder:

*I am no longer allowed to play a Summoner
**No one is ever allowed to play a synthesist summoner

[Baroncognito]

*Not to abuse Sylvain bloodline/ eldritch heritage to get into mammoth rider 5 levels early.

How would Sylvan Bloodline/Eldritch Heritage allow you to get nine ranks of Ride and nine ranks of Handle Animal at level 4?

[Doorhandle]

How would Sylvan Bloodline/Eldritch Heritage allow you to get nine ranks of Ride and nine ranks of Handle Animal at level 4?

Good point.
Guess the combo can only be used to get an animal companion 5 levels stronger than it should be.

[beau highbill]

I regret doing this to my DM

In Pathfinder:

*I am no longer allowed to play a Summoner
**No one is ever allowed to play a synthesist summoner

I don't :D I actually have a synthesist summoner made for our next campaign. I like the concept, also it's slight payback for breaking the campaign I'm running xD

*I am not allowed to break campaigns just for the sake of breaking them. Even if it's completely on accident and completely fitting with my character to do so.

[Ksheep]

Just came across this short list of lessons learned

http://i.imgur.com/Ye1BYQA.jpg

[HyperInferno]

Also happened in a game once:

* Portable holes may no longer be used to store hostile constructs
** Said hole is never to be referred to as the "stone tiger pit"
*** Throwing enemies into the stone tiger pit is no longer an acceptable combat tactic


* Barrels of gunpowder may no longer be used in combat
** Ever.

[Dayaz]

As according to my Dm from my latest campaign

* I am not allowed to play a Two Handed Fighter in Pathfinder.
** I am not allowed to be a permanently Enlarged Goliath one, either.
*** I am not allowed to run around the BBEG lair and sunder the support pillars with my Huge Adamantium Greatsword.
**** Especially if his lair is directly under my home/school/guildhall.
***** I'm not allowed to rofl at the BBEG's face when the ceiling falls in on him while the wizard teleports us to safety.
****** I'm not allowed to let the other party members use my Wand of Shape Earth to go back into the room and loot his corpse.

*I'm not allowed to recruit defeated monsters to work for me as maids and man-servants.
** I'm especially not allowed to have them learn UMD to use my plethora of wands for me.
*** Especially if they have more than 2 hands with which to hold wands.
****The next time I convince a Darktentacles monster to obey me I can expect a book to come flying at my face.
***** The next time I decide to make a Bluff/Diplomacy fighter and turn the BBEG into my cohort my DM reserves the right to castrate me.

...What? It was a fun campaign at least >.>

[Slipperychicken]

* When the PCs ask a Dwarven official why they chose the punishment that they did for the anti-hero, I may not reply with the tale of Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby

**If I ever use the term "Tar Baby", other than to illustrate why I shouldn't use it, the DM has full permission to boot me from the group for racism.

***This goes double if used in reference to Drow children.

****This does not entitle other players to trick me into saying it.

[Dayaz]

**If I ever use the term "Tar Baby", other than to illustrate why I shouldn't use it, the DM has full permission to boot me from the group for racism.

***This goes double if used in reference to Drow children.

****This does not entitle other players to trick me into saying it.

ok, what is a 'tar baby'?

[TuggyNE]

ok, what is a 'tar baby'?

A phrase rife with potentially Unfortunate Implications (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tar_baby).

[Ksheep]

ok, what is a 'tar baby'?

The term "Tar baby" originally came from African American folklore, specifically the Tales of Uncle Remus. In said story, Brer Fox and Brer Bear are sick and tired of the antics of Brer Rabbit, and so they build a baby out of tar, dress it up, and place it where they know Brer Rabbit will find it. When Brer Rabbit finds it, he tries to talk to it, but it doesn't respond. In retaliation, Brer Rabbit hits it, but his fist sticks and he can't get free. He then proceeds to hit it with his other hand, and then kick it, with the same effect. He is then ambushed by Brer Fox and Brer Bear, who try to think up ways to get revenge on him for all his tricks…*or kill and eat him (depending on which version of the story you're reading).

So… the term "Tar Baby" means "A sticky situation"

Alternatively, it is used as an ethnic slur to mean "a black child".

I was of course referring to the first meaning, which comes from the story. Also, I didn't actually use the term in game. I just retold the second half of the story (with heavy alterations), which I left out above for brevity's sake.

EDIT: And ninja'd swordsage'd with a Wikipedia link.

[Dayaz]

Ah, that makes a lot of sense. Thanks you two ^.^

[TuggyNE]

The term "Tar baby" originally came from African American folklore, specifically the Tales of Uncle Remus. In said story, Brer Fox and Brer Bear are sick and tired of the antics of Brer Rabbit, and so they build a baby out of tar, dress it up, and place it where they know Brer Rabbit will find it. When Brer Rabbit finds it, he tries to talk to it, but it doesn't respond. In retaliation, Brer Rabbit hits it, but his fist sticks and he can't get free. He then proceeds to hit it with his other hand, and then kick it, with the same effect. He is then ambushed by Brer Fox and Brer Bear, who try to think up ways to get revenge on him for all his tricks…*or kill and eat him (depending on which version of the story you're reading).

For what it's worth, I liked Uncle Remus quite a bit because of the wacky antics. Not so thrilled that Tar Baby has been appropriated as a slur, but them's the breaks, I guess. (Don't get me started about "queer" and "gay", either. >_>)

[Ksheep]

For what it's worth, I liked Uncle Remus quite a bit because of the wacky antics. Not so thrilled that Tar Baby has been appropriated as a slur, but them's the breaks, I guess. (Don't get me started about "queer" and "gay", either. >_>)

Yeah… so many words whose meaning has been twisted around and changed over the years, many for the worse. Hard to keep them all straight, especially when reading older works and you come across such a word.

[Dayaz]

Another one my DM reminded me of while on the phone with him lol

*Thou shall not convince a dragon to go attack settlements and pillage them, then to let you 'slay' them and get pay from the villagers and split all the earnings. This is D&D, not Dragonheart.

[Scow2]

Not so thrilled that Tar Baby has been appropriated as a slur, but them's the breaks, I guess.
Except it is not, and has never been used as a slur. It's only been interpretted as one by ignorant or malicious people going out of their way to fail at language hard enough to offend themselves and deliberately harm other's reputations and public images.

[Zahhak]

The wiki article on "Tar Baby" has a section specifically called Racist interpretation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tar_baby#Racist_interpretation) and includes a reference to the OED which says that "Tar Baby" has a history a racist slur.

[HyperInferno]

From Rogue Trader:

* I am no longer allowed to bring Guardsmen with me on missions
** Especially if I bring 50 of said guardsmen
*** Especially if they each carry 3 grenades
**** Especially if I command each of them to throw a grenade on the same turn at the same group of enemies

(It might have been slightly overkill to deal 150 damage to a group of enemies that each have 6 hp)

*We are no longer allowed to capture the BBEG's mistress
** And then have him admit that he doesn't care about her over an open comms channel
*** which is being streamed live to the mistress's cell in the brig

EDIT BONUS: * No one is allowed to ever use a storm bolter.

[Scow2]

The wiki article on "Tar Baby" has a section specifically called Racist interpretation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tar_baby#Racist_interpretation) and includes a reference to the OED which says that "Tar Baby" has a history a racist slur.Which goes on to explain that the only people treating it as a racial slur are those who are trying to get offended over it - everyone else and all instances of it being used are as a metaphor, not a slur.

[Zahhak]

Which goes on to explain that the only people treating it as a racial slur are those who are trying to get offended over it

And the OED.

[Adoendithas]

* I will not derail threads by debating whether certain phrases are actually legitimate racist insults or not.

[Wookieetank]

*While it may be entirely possible to build a 1 man army in a tactical roleplaying setting, it is usually frowned upon by the DM.

[Sith_Happens]

From Rogue Trader:

* I am no longer allowed to bring Guardsmen with me on missions
** Especially if I bring 50 of said guardsmen
*** Especially if they each carry 3 grenades
**** Especially if I command each of them to throw a grenade on the same turn at the same group of enemies

(It might have been slightly overkill to deal 150 damage to a group of enemies that each have 6 hp)

I'm only passingly familiar with 40k, but isn't that basically the Imperial Guard's M.O.?

[vasharanpaladin]

I'm only passingly familiar with 40k, but isn't that basically the Imperial Guard's M.O.?

Yes. That and "any issues regarding morale can be solved by butchering your own men." On that note...

*No matter how good my Intimidate score is, one-shotting the wizard in the back of the head won't let the fighter autosave against fear effects.
**Even if I crit the wizard.
***Especially if I crit the wizard.

[Adoendithas]

* The proper term is "allies" or "PCs," not "my minions."

[Wookieetank]

* The proper term is "allies" or "PCs," not "my minions."

**"Meat Shields" is also right out.
** While amusing "unwitting pawns" is only allowed when playing evil characters, and even then is frowned upon by the party.

[vasharanpaladin]

**"Meat Shields" is also right out.
** While amusing "unwitting pawns" is only allowed when playing evil characters, and even then is frowned upon by the party.

***Referring to one member of the party as "bright lord" also leads to badness.

[Man on Fire]

* After settng campaing off the rails and making DM stop the game early, so he can adjust the plot, you aren't allowed to get back on the rails in first five minutes of new session.
* No longer allowed to interrupt your student with a woman and convince her he used charm spell on her.
* Cannot ignore all the plot and go on dangerous escapade somewhere else jsut to chase one runaway npc.
* When chief of city guard is willing to let you go scot free, only scolding you after the mayhem you caused, it's polite to not argue with him.
* Cannot order bard to use magic to look under masked npc's clothes to see, if it' male or female
* Cannot convince entire party long-time not-seen npc has been replaced by an impostor without any evidence whatsoever
** Cannot convince entire party your lawyer is a spy either
* Wizard's familiar isn't jealous of his student.

DM:
* "I have five minuts to wrap things up" isn't vaild excuse for trial which PCs cannot win
** No longer allowed to declare Zone of Truth and mind-reading magic is considered invading witness privacy
** No longer allowed to give PCs lawyer who stutters.
*** Even if he's fairly competent in court
* I am to inform PCs of any family connections to city guard in city they are for the first time and know nothing about their benefactor they don't know very much about may have.

[Zahhak]

* After settng campaing off the rails and making DM stop the game early, so he can adjust the plot, you aren't allowed to get back on the rails in first five minutes of new session

Did you jump back onto the original plot regardless of what he wanted, or did he just make you think thats what happened?

[ReaderAt2046]

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=11459853&postcount=269

I think number 472-3 sounds like a great idea for a character (not sure how to quote that page.)

[Man on Fire]

Did you jump back onto the original plot regardless of what he wanted, or did he just make you think thats what happened?

I was the DM in that game. In one session they derailed campaign horribly and dismissed even last opportunity to get out of the trouble they got themselves into (instead of asking help of wealthy, well-connected noble they're working for they sneak into his house, steall their stuff left there and go hiding in the forest. Apparently his house woudl be the first place guards would coe looking for them). Come next week and they decide it was stupid idea and and do exactly what they needed to get back into original plot (They go to the noble and ask him for help. Even better - the same player who decided it's not safe to go to him last game decided to go to him this game). Five hours of planning essentially from scratch goes through the window and we're back to the original plot.

Being DM is suffering.

[Wookieetank]

I was the DM in that game. In one session they derailed campaign horribly and dismissed even last opportunity to get out of the trouble they got themselves into (instead of asking help of wealthy, well-connected noble they're working for they sneak into his house, steall their stuff left there and go hiding in the forest. Apparently his house woudl be the first place guards would coe looking for them). Come next week and they decide it was stupid idea and and do exactly what they needed to get back into original plot (They go to the noble and ask him for help. Even better - the same player who decided it's not safe to go to him last game decided to go to him this game). Five hours of planning essentially from scratch goes through the window and we're back to the original plot.

Being DM is suffering.

*Setting players on fire for being insufferable is not the answer. :smallamused:

*Shotguns are not the first, best and recommended solution for dealing with stupid.
**Meteor swam is also right out
***Attempting to research a spell to cure stupidity is futile, and only asking for your character to go insane.

[Chilingsworth]

*Setting players on fire for being insufferable is not the answer. :smallamused:

*Shotguns are not the first, best and recommended solution for dealing with stupid.
**Meteor swam is also right out
***Attempting to research a spell to cure stupidity is futile, and only asking for your character to go insane.

**** However, insanity would make you care about the stupidity less.

[vasharanpaladin]

***Referring to one member of the party as "bright lord" also leads to badness.

****...Especially when you're already crossplaying (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrossPlayer). :smallbiggrin:

[Slipperychicken]

***Attempting to research a spell to cure stupidity is futile, and only asking for your character to go insane.

****This goes double when Apocalypse from the Sky already exists.

[Ksheep]

* The Rules of Acquisition are not the Holy Texts for my people's religion
** I may not quote any of the Rules of Acquisition to justify any of my actions
*** Especially if I just make them up on the spot
**** No Rules of Acquisition
***** No Ferengi either

[Zahhak]

* The Rules of Acquisition are not the Holy Texts for my people's religion
** I may not quote any of the Rules of Acquisition to justify any of my actions
*** Especially if I just make them up on the spot
**** No Rules of Acquisition
***** No Ferengi either

****** "Objectivism" is not my religion
******* "Ayn Rand" is not a profit/demigod/god
******** Neither are Ron Paul or Rand Paul.
********* No more parodying hyper-capitalism and the few people who at least claim to support it.

[Slipperychicken]

***** No Ferengi either
******Even if the PCs always act like them, no matter what race, class or alignment they are.

[Man on Fire]

* When thieves guild demand that in return for their help you'll sign magic contract with promise you'll one day do somethign for them in return, the answer isn't to walk out of the room and stop the game for 15 minutes in hope DM will give up.
* Druid should use other ways to end illegal **** fights than feeding the roosters to his animal companion.
** Not allowed to call rooster's owner on his cruelty, when your animal companion i eating the rooster in front of said owner
* "We don't tell anyone anything ever" is not a vaild way of dealing with people who might actually help you.
* Stobbing somebody in the back is not the same as knocking him unconcious.

DM:
* No longer allowed to taunt new player over how much they got beaten up in first fight
** Even if NPC I'm using for htis is honestly praising that character's bravery in face of stronger opponent
** Especially if that fight was with two low-level thugs.
*** Thugs cannot be low-level magicians
* No longer allowed to put veils on PC's faces while beign lead to thieves guild's secret hideout and not letting them find that hideout later

[Ksheep]

* After having situations where the supposed "bad guy" was just set up to take the fall in three different situations in the same campaign, I shouldn't be surprised when the PCs finally catch on and don't immediately attack the guy on the fourth time
** Especially when the supposed bad guy is a Brass Dragon
*** Having a Blue Dragon staging the attacks so as to lure a band of adventurers in to kill the Brass Dragon is a great idea… until the party realizes that the dragon attacking the caravans was wearing a hat
**** Especially when the party has a lot of experience with Hats of Disguise

[Zahhak]

Especially when the supposed bad guy is a Brass Dragon

Not to be rude, but, who would fall for a Brass Dragon being the bad guy?

[Ksheep]

Not to be rude, but, who would fall for a Brass Dragon being the bad guy?

Considering that the party had seen all of one dragon before this, and it was evil… also the fact that they witnessed what appeared to be a Brass Dragon attacking a caravan… they had enough incentive to think it may have been evil.

[Zahhak]

So, strict rule against metagaming and none of them knew in-world that Brass Dragons are CG?

[Sith_Happens]

*** Having a Blue Dragon staging the attacks so as to lure a band of adventurers in to kill the Brass Dragon is a great idea… until the party realizes that the dragon attacking the caravans was wearing a hat
**** Especially when the party has a lot of experience with Hats of Disguise

* The part of the Hat of Disguise description where you can disguise the hat itself is there for a reason. If I don't take advantage of it I deserve whatever happens to me.

[Erik Vale]

Ahh, but the hat has to be part of the disguise. So at best you have a dragon wearing a skullcap.

[Ksheep]

Ahh, but the hat has to be part of the disguise. So at best you have a dragon wearing a skullcap.

Or a bow, or a comb, or a fez, or a…

[Slipperychicken]

Or a bow, or a comb, or a fez, or a…

He could have made it a Bronze Brass Dragon-Scale skullcap.

EDIT: Herp derp, confused brass for bronze.

[Blightedmarsh]

Or some kind of brass dragon helmet or crest

[Adoendithas]

Although they could still notice it with a Spot check, assuming they knew something about brass dragon appearance. I wonder if eating the hat counts as wearing it?

[Joe the Rat]

* The part of the Hat of Disguise description where you can disguise the hat itself is there for a reason. If I don't take advantage of it I deserve whatever happens to me.
* As DM, I may not houserule the Hat of Disguise must always be a fez. Yes, even on a dragon.
** Masterwork Fez does not impart a +2 circumstance bonus to Bluff, Diplomacy, or Use Magical Device Checks.
*** Nor do bowties.

[Zahhak]

****There are no sonic screwdrivers. Stop asking for one.

[Ksheep]

****There are no sonic screwdrivers. Stop asking for one.

***** The same goes for light sabers, vibroswords, crysknifes, ohmu shell knifes, masamune swords, key tools, claw shots, Holy Hand Grenades of Antioch, batarangs, identity discs, Pokeballs, and fing-longers.

[unseenmage]

I'm no longer allowed to mimic the party's class abilities with the use rope skill
*No longer allowed to purchase, buy, craft, borrow, summon, or wish for rope
**No longer allowed to (in or out of character) advise other players about rope use
***No out of game advice either
****And certainly no rope use advice for other games my GM might be involved in
*****DEFINITELY not for storyteller systems.

*chain counts as rope for all of the above as do vines, licorice, string, and horsehair

[Wookieetank]

I'm no longer allowed to mimic the party's class abilities with the use rope skill
*No longer allowed to purchase, buy, craft, borrow, summon, or wish for rope
**No longer allowed to (in or out of character) advise other players about rope use
***No out of game advice either
****And certainly no rope use advice for other games my GM might be involved in
*****DEFINITELY not for storyteller systems.

*chain counts as rope for all of the above as do vines, licorice, string, and horsehair

*Shoelaces and bedsheets are acceptable though. :smallwink:

[Cealocanth]

*I am no longer allowed to ask the old farmer what breed his sheep are, and then ask the DM to describe the garment made from the sheep's wool, only to tell him that the garment would not have come from this farmer, and use this information to blackmail the farmer into revealing where he's outsourcing his textile productions.

Really, this happened.

[nedz]

****There are no sonic screwdrivers. Stop asking for one.

Prestidigitation is a thing however.

[Man on Fire]

* Just because horse is in your equipment list it doesn't mean you can pull it out of your bag and throw at somebody.

[Slipperychicken]

*I am no longer allowed to ask the old farmer what breed his sheep are, and then ask the DM to describe the garment made from the sheep's wool, only to tell him that the garment would not have come from this farmer, and use this information to blackmail the farmer into revealing where he's outsourcing his textile productions.

Really, this happened.

You're an awful person. All the things a DM has to prepare for, and you're abusing the fact he doesn't know sheep-breeding. I guess that would be common knowledge in some rural farming community, but otherwise it's pretty unreasonable to expect someone to know that off the top of his head.


The DM however, should have just said something like "Look, I'm busy. I don't have time to research crap like sheep-breeding when I already need to put a dungeon together, write a story, descriptions, dialogue, and build balanced, fun encounters every week, in addition to researching topics which are actually relevant. The clothes match what you would expect from the sheeps' breed, diet, conditions, and other observable factors. They clearly came from this farm's sheep."

EDIT: Removed unintentional pseudoracism.

[Zahhak]

You're an awful person. All the things a DM has to prepare for, and you're abusing the fact he doesn't know sheep-breeding. I guess that would be common knowledge in rural New Zealand, but otherwise it's pretty unreasonable to expect someone to know that off the top of his head

To add to the pseudoracism, you forgot Wales and Scotland.

[Jbr208]

* When playing Deadlands, racism cannot be the most memorable feature of my character.
** It doesn't matter if I become the benefactor of the orphanage, adopt a child, and court the school teacher/matron, the common use of racial epithets and the fact that he is a former Confederate cavalryman will override all the good the character has done.
*** It doesn't matter that the campaign takes place in an era where racism was not only common but both expected and accepted by society at large.

[TechnoScrabble]

*Not allowed to play wizard, bard, artificier, anyone with charisma over twelve, or anyone focused on crafting any more.

*I am to stay away from all vodka relayed beverages when making a character.

[Ionbound]

*I am not allowed to convince the DM to let me take 10 on a saving throw
**I am not allowed to then take 10 vs lycanthropy if my Fort is less than 5
***I am banned from research a spell to allow me to transmit lycanthropy to my other party members both IC and OOC
****I am banned from spell research
*****I must play non-casting classes

[Kelb_Panthera]

I'm no longer allowed to mimic the party's class abilities with the use rope skill
*No longer allowed to purchase, buy, craft, borrow, summon, or wish for rope
**No longer allowed to (in or out of character) advise other players about rope use
***No out of game advice either
****And certainly no rope use advice for other games my GM might be involved in
*****DEFINITELY not for storyteller systems.

*chain counts as rope for all of the above as do vines, licorice, string, and horsehair

advising players on some of the more exotic OOC uses for rope (wink, nudge) is right out.

[Wookieetank]

advising players on some of the more exotic OOC uses for rope (wink, nudge) is right out.

*Demonstrating said uses is strictly forbidden. :smallamused:

[Scow2]

*Demonstrating said uses is strictly forbidden. :smallamused:
*No substituting Barbed Wire for the rope instead.:smalleek:

[Man on Fire]

New game happened

* If trying to complain that when DM npced your character and made it burn down an inn on the grounds your character would never have done that earns you depadan silence from everybody on th table, you should probably rethink few things.

* Enlarge Person was casted on your for many reasons. Peeing on the lich is not one of them.

* Leader of dark and powerful group of horrifying otherworldy beings do not want to hear about that time you pulled a horse out of your backpack.

[Slipperychicken]

[Actually happened]

*I may not name my character Smartacus.
**Even if the DM came up with the idea.
***Even if I rolled 18s in strength and intelligence (with down-the-line 3d6, no less!)

[Asahel24601]

*I may not fall in love with other party members
**especially not the LG cleric
***even if he saved my life
***especially when said cleric is sworn to never marry.

[Sith_Happens]

*I may not fall in love with other party members
**especially not the LG cleric
***even if he saved my life
***especially when said cleric is sworn to never marry.

**** "Who says we have to?" is not the correct response to being told the above.

[Vixsor Lumin]

*basing a drug dealing Dread necro on the song "and the snakes start to sing" makes the party uncomfortable.
** the same goes for "raining blood"
*** anything by Ludo is also banned.
****Disco based characters are okay for one shot goofy games, not something the DM has been working on for months
*5 Scouts wearing one sequened glove of dexterity do not have to moonwalk to activate skirmish

*I must hand over my phone, ipod, radio, and or computer during character creation

[Ionbound]

*basing a drug dealing Dread necro on the song "and the snakes start to sing" makes the party uncomfortable.
** the same goes for "raining blood"
*** anything by Ludo is also banned.
****Disco based characters are okay for one shot goofy games, not something the DM has been working on for months
*5 Scouts wearing one sequened glove of dexterity do not have to moonwalk to activate skirmish

*I must hand over my phone, ipod, radio, and or computer during character creation

**Tablets are right out

[Joe the Rat]

(From last night)

* I may not recommend naming characters after OoTS characters.
** Particularly when the other players don't know the comic.
*** Especially when the GM doesn't know the comic.

(Therkla the Half-Orc Ranger (and her player) ARE pretty awesome, though)

[Zahhak]

*** anything by Ludo is also banned.

Wow, going old school are we?

[RandomNPC]

I shall not put the idea in the DMs head to take a red dragon and apply the half dragon template with another color.

The party was not happy with the fight, and I was sitting there giggling away the entire time I was being beaten into the negatives.... But I got to make so many jokes about him being a dragon and a half. The best highlight was that our caster couldn't reliably deal with the SR so she ran off invisible and put explosive runes in the book he was reading when we got there. He admitted defeat and that we would get the aid we wanted, then he went back to reading the journal he stole from an elder green...

[jindra34]

I shall not put the idea in the DMs head to take a red dragon and apply the half dragon template with another color.


**I am also not allowed, should the DM ever make a half-dragon dragon, to ask why they only applied it once, and not once for each potential color/type.

[Grommen]

From a recent campaign I played and DM'ed a bit of.

*When DM'ing, Chain Mail of Disappearance should also make the player vanish...Not just the armor, when confronted by the city guard.

**Smoking Jackets should not simply burst into flame at inappropriate times. Ok at any time.....Perhaps at Lunch.

***Handing the person next to you the powder horn that was just set on fire and saying "Here hold this", is to be considered bad form.

****Black Powder + pyro mage = Bad :smallbiggrin:

*****I will no loner encourage the party's cleric (and master of the grapple) to try and tackle the Dragon at the end of the campaign in the last battle.

******No matter how good the discount, never buy anything from a shop named, "Shifty guys in hoods".

*******Bags of Holding should release the things placed inside them. Not just simply hold on to them.

********Will never again point out to the insane ranger that the parties bard has both a deck of illusions and a deck of many things.

*********A deck of many illusionary things is not to be used for card games.

[Vixsor Lumin]

Wow, going old school are we?

They're not that old are they? I was in high school when love me dead came out. ... five years ago. .... I feel old now :smallannoyed:

[Sgt. Cookie]

*"I insult the Sith Lord's dress sense" is not an acceptable way to start the fight
**Even if the GM's rolls indicate that he takes a morale penalty to all combat actions

[Socratov]

*A bardx npc shall not overshadow the party to such an extent that the party suspects the bard of being able to complete the quest alone

[OctoberRaven]

SWD20:
-When someone suggests that we "knock on the door", I may NOT fire a proton torpedo at it.
-Unless I am absolutely sure the Jedi do not have an escape plan, I may not blast a Hutt's brains out at point blank range while on Nal Hutta.

Champions:
-I may not use a handheld rocket launcher to make an entrance.
-If I'm playing a teleporter, I may not teleport into the police station, even if I'm in a hurry. I'll use the door.
-I may not call a demon the "Prince of Wusses".

WoD:
-I may NOT throw a stake in the air out of frustration.

D&D:
-I may not attempt to destroy a summoning altar by burning down the warehouse that contains it, unless I am ABSOLUTELY SURE that it won't lead to an inferno that inexplicably levels half the town overnight.

Shadowrun:
-If there are more than four fully armored men coming my way, and I am the only one between them and our escortee, I may not NOT use my grenades, no matter what the Hacker says.

L5R:
-I may not try to get out of matchmaking parties by suggesting to another PC that we pretend to be betrothed.
-I may not try to tell the Kuni Witch Hunter to Jade Strike the courtier. I'll ask the other shugenja to do it instead because he's actually clever enough to try.

[smasher0404]

*One does not use software that he has never used before during the game
*One does not try to walk through walls while corporeal

[vasharanpaladin]

*One does not use software that he has never used before during the game
*One does not try to walk through walls while corporeal

*Referring to oneself as "this one" while playing a human is a self-effacing quirk. Referring to oneself as "this one" while playing a thri-kreen is fething creepy.

[Milo v3]

* None of my characters can refer to themselves as "We" instead of I. It causes way too much confusion amoung NPC's.

[vasharanpaladin]

* None of my characters can refer to themselves as "We" instead of I. It causes way too much confusion amoung NPC's.

**While highly appropriate for a high-level binder, referring to oneself as "we" while speaking in character through an echo recorder is, also, fething creepy.

[TheHoodedTeddy]

Believe it are not, these are real rules in my sessions.

Any plan that causes anyone to giggle uncontrollably is vetoed.
Any plan involving flaming arrows is vetoed until further notice
Any plan based on faulty logic that the dimwitted Players came up with is vetoed for their own good if noticed by the smarter players.
Any plan involving Throwing my gnome character is out, whether I agree or not.

[Milo v3]

*I cannot turn normal people into flesh golems
** Especially if they are still alive as I stick the group together
*** Especially if they are still awake during the whole process
* I cannot play a level 8 character who is the strongest being in existance.
* I cannot play a character who has a sword that istwo times larger than he is, inside each of his arms.
** Especially if he possesses more than two arms.

[NM020110]

*I am exempt from ignoring carrying capacity.
**If, in a zombie survival game, my equipment weight exceeds my push/drag capacity, I can expect to lose some of it.
***The fully stocked alchemy lab and forge are first and second on the list.
****The crane can also be expected to be lost at some point.

[Brennan1214]

*No longer allowed to spend all my money on bluff improving items.
**If I do, I cannot get said money by convincing people (Especially the other PCs) that if they don't give me their money, the world will end.
***Especially not while playing a beguiler.
****From now on, everybody has sense motive.
*****And a good will save.
******Even the commoners.

[OctoberRaven]

Oh and

*If we're playing L5R, I'm not GMing it. I always turn it into Ninja Scroll because political campaigns just aren't my strong suit. I'll be happy to play though as long as I can roll a Hare.

[Zahhak]

Stockholm Syndrome is not a key feature of most fairytales.

[OctoberRaven]

Stockholm Syndrome is not a key feature of most fairytales.

Unless you're playing nWoD Changeling as a Loyalist.

[Marillion]

*I may not point out that the pun another player made in character would only work in english, and not in the language the party is currently speaking.

[Sgt. Cookie]

*If my Vow of Nonviolence teammate says "I should try changing my enemies." my Barbarian's response is not to be "I do. Into corpses."

[Kazyan]

*I may not go along with the plan that the most competent player thinks is a bad idea.

Yeah, we kinda got served by a bunch of babau and a vrock, at level 6, becuase we alerted them...

[Slipperychicken]

*If my Vow of Nonviolence teammate says "I should try changing my enemies." my Barbarian's response is not to be "I do. Into corpses."

**Using high explosives to "convert" them into beefaroni will is grounds for losing my [Exalted] status.

[Heliomance]

***** The same goes for light sabers, vibroswords, crysknifes, ohmu shell knifes, masamune swords, key tools, claw shots, Holy Hand Grenades of Antioch, batarangs, identity discs, Pokeballs, and fing-longers.

How about psionic spirit-blades?

[Man on Fire]

* I can never attempt anythign I saw Joseph oestar doing one.
** No, my character did not bouth Tequilla
** Cannot annoy BBEG by predicting his lines

[Hamste]

*I can no longer catch myself on fire and make grapple checks to burn my enemies.
** Particulary if I have Fire Resistance

*Lighting a torch while in an oil based trap "to see" is no longer allowed.

[gurgleflep]

* My goblin ninja is no longer allowed to be the party chef. The meals were a blast!
* My barbarian can no longer throw the halfling so that he and the rest of the party can escape while the dragon has a quick snack.
* I can no longer jump out of a tree so that I can land on a dire wolf in an attempt to use it as a mount.
* I am not allowed to create a potion of "never ending beard growth" and give it to the dwarf. Even if I have a potion created that'll stop it - he won't take it.
* My (obese) half-ogre barbarian can no longer sit on people while singing "Pop goes the weasel!"

[Lynnalynna]

*(all true) I may not trade higher level spells for cantrips anymore
** Nor may I trip any charging character (PC or NPC) who is a Minotaur or similar race with a cantrip or two, causing him to fall off a cliff
*** Especially if I am using a bloodletting based character, even if it is funny to see mr. 5 cha falling off a cliff because a halfling wizard tripped him with a cantrip
****Nor am I allowed to use mage hand to knock over a lit candle to catch a room full of skeletons on fire (a room with Fine Tapestries and oil traps on the floor)
*****Especially if that room is our only way through.

*(again, true story) I am not allowed to worship a god/goddess of Plague, Disease, and Poison anymore
**Especially when I am a ranger who is devoted to an absolute point
***Especially when there is a Kender in the group
****Especially when the Kender dies in the first room of the campaign from being poisoned by a needle on the lever for the porticullious as a whole and is rezzed by the DM due to the fact that it was the first room in a modular at lvl 1 and the campaign group was meant to go through lvl 20.
*****To add onto that, I am not allowed to worship said Kender as the second coming of the lord of Plague and Poison due to the resurrection and a Knowledge(poison) check.
******Nor am I allowed to let said Kender through me over a cesspool to retrieve my master his treasure that soon will be an heirloom
*******Nor am I allowed to try and retrieve the spoon of turning from the cleric, who confiscated said spoon from the kender when he almost got us killed by having full faith in it, no matter how much I now worship said kender

EDIT:
*Due to said campaigns, I am no longer allowed to have a sword with a ring style pommel and a rope both in my inventory at the same time.
**There is no such thing as Weapon Specialty/Focus (Rope) nor is there a such thing as Weapon Specialty/Focus (Throwing-Sword-on-a-Rope)

EDITEDIT: According to my dm, Tom Vasel is not a legal deity for my character, no matter how much I worship him

[DigoDragon]

Derailed a quest by infiltrating a famous thieves guild with the paladin. I don't remember why I did it, but it was hilarious~


I'm no longer allowed to sneak into the thieves guild's castle by hiding in the food.
If I do sneak into the castle, I'm not allowed to bring the paladin while she's drunk.
If the paladin is drunk, I'm not allowed to coerce her into summoning her mount indoors.
If the drunk paladin does summon her mount indoors, I'm not allowed to encourage her to ride into the thieves guild banquet 'for glory'.
If for some reason I managed to sneak into the thieve's guild castle, with a drunk paladin, riding with her on a celestial stallion into the guild's banquet party, then we are completely forbidden to ride the mount over the table singing "It's time for the Murder Circus!!" while leaping at the thieves and slaughtering them wholesale.
The party wizard is not allowed to play the theme song to "Peewee's Big Adventure" during this combat encounter.


My character didn't survive the encounter, but the paladin did and she was commended for her selfless bravery by the local city guard for ridding them of the evil guild. Too bad she didn't remember most of it the next morning.
Wound have been nice to Recover My Body for resurrection, LOL!

[Man on Fire]

* No longer allowed to use the threat of closing somebody's mouth with a french kiss.
** Especially towards an ogre.

[unseenmage]

*I may no longer play fighter's who dual weild greatswords.
** Esp if all he does is hurl them at his enemies.
*** Esp if He does so effectively.
**** Esp if he insists on doing so as he runs down the corridors setting off every trap in the dungeon.
****** Esp when the party still tries to follow him and all the delayed traps only attack THEM.
*I also may no longer be allowed to be the party chef
** Esp when all we fought were drow. No animals about anywhere.
*** And no one wants any of the grey jerky I keep offering them.
**** Characters will no longer be fed while sleeping.

[Zahhak]

* "If it's terrible you can blame it on me" is not a good enough reason to develop a board game.
** It is also not a good enough reason to make your party be beta testers.

[Sith_Happens]

* "The Lone Ranger" is not a valid Exalt name.

[Blightedmarsh]

*I may not tell the BBEG he is doing it wrong
**I may not proceed to give tips on how to do it better
***This tends to annoy people
****Particularly if they are good ones
*****Especially if he is taking notes

[Kymme]

From an Exalted session a few nights ago
*My Solar was not a heavy metal rocker in his mortal life.
**His response to an Abyssal threatening his town should not be to challenge it to a rock-off.
***Especially if he is still a mortal at the time.
****My character cannot then proceed to re-enact this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ehaNbhI9Z0) and become a Solar exalted.

[Socratov]

From an Exalted session a few nights ago
*My Solar was notso a heavy metal rocker in his mortal life.
**His response to an Abyssal threatening his town should nottotally be to challenge it to a rock-off.
***Especially if he is still a mortal at the time.
****My character cannot then proceed to re-enact this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ehaNbhI9Z0) and become a Solar exalted in posession of a totally awesome artifact of knowledge.

fixed that for you :smallbiggrin: (seriously, if there was any system made for re-enacting the POD, it's Exalted)

[DigoDragon]

I'm no longer allowed to antagonize the party ninja. Just because it isn't a powerful class, it doesn't mean she can't Sudden Strike me in my sleep.
I'm no longer allowed to antagonize the party wizard by nicknaming him 'Sparky'. Even if his actual name is Sparks. And electricity is his favored element.
I'm no longer allowed to antagonize the wizard's pony familiar. She does not have a cutie mark and she knows how to wield a dagger for some odd reason.
I'm no longer allowed to antagonize hill giants. Especially when I'm only 1st level. And i'm within reach of their "horrible murder radius".
Stop antagonizing people! :smalltongue:



As GM, I'm not allowed to impose a "foreigner tax" upon the PCs. Doesn't matter if there is an actual historical basis for this.
I'm also not allowed to import the economics system from Wolf and Spice into my D&D game. None of my players are accountants, and they'll just circumvent the system by bartering in orc ears.
...no longer allowed to create a new monetary system based on orc ears.

[Man on Fire]

* No longer allowed to play any caster class based on any of the following characters:
** Jonathan Strange ("I don't care if you're gentleman or not, kill the Blackguard!")
** Kedrigern ("What does it mean you won't undo the same curse twice?")
** Lina Inverse ("Stop blowing everythign up!")
** Rincewind ("Wizards shouldn't be running away all the time!")
** Paul Bearer ("For the last time, you're not empowering Warlock with that urn!")
** John Constantine ("You had to flip Asmodeus a bird, didn't you?")
** Nico Minoru ("Just get over her death!")
** Xykon ("There are other spells than Energy Drain!")
** Zasalamel ("Are wiards even proficent with a scythe?")
** Schrieke ("You're playing little girl, that's creepy man!")
** Belgarath ("Stop getting drunk!")
** Joseph Stalin (http://johnl.org/2009/08/27/stalin-vs-hitler/) ("Stop mixing magic with communism!")
** Randal Flagg ("Entire campaign goes out of the window because you had to poison the king and frame his son into it, I hope you're proud of yourself!")

I made this one up. Too bad, because now I kinda want to see a game of wizards.

[unseenmage]

I made this one up. Too bad, because now I kinda want to see a game of wizards.

It'd be just like Game of Thrones but with jazz hands MAGIC jazz hands!

[Jormengand]

- I may no longer use a combination of feats, special materials and extra arms to wield a bastard sword with a damage die seven size categories larger than normal.

[Sith_Happens]

** Xykon ("There are other spells than Energy Drain!")

:xykon: "You mean like Meteor Swarm?"

[LordSeabass]

It is highly discouraged for me to play CN barbarians

*especially neanderthal barbarians
** especially if me and the dm are having a giggle fest during character creation
*** he may not be introduced by being frozen in a block of ice
**** i may not make the caveman from Scooby Doo
***** I may not make the Miner49er for a Fallout campaign
****** I may not make scooby doo villians my characters

******* or insane half orc tourguides

******** it is a bad idea to try to feign death mid battle for 2 rounds while the rest of my party dies
********* especially if it is not working
********** i miss Olaf:smallfrown:

[A Lawless Lad]

It is highly discouraged for me to play CN barbarians

*especially neanderthal barbarians
** especially if me and the dm are having a giggle fest during character creation
*** he may not be introduced by being frozen in a block of ice
**** i may not make the caveman from Scooby Doo
***** I may not make the Miner49er for a Fallout campaign
****** I may not make scooby doo villians my characters

******* or insane half orc tourguides

******** it is a bad idea to try to feign death mid battle for 2 rounds while the rest of my party dies
********* especially if it is not working
********** i miss Olaf:smallfrown:

God damn it. XD

[Man on Fire]

I may not make scooby doo villians my character
** I cannot have parrot who speaks german as my familiar
** I cannot play Vincent Van Ghoul
** Any character that reminds gm of Scrappy Doo is vetoed
*** Same for Scooby Dumb
**** What the hell even is Yaba Doo?
** Cannot convince two other players to play a party of ghosts called The Boo Brothers
** Cannot convince entire party to play daughters of Hammer Horror monsters
*** Or Dracula, his ditzy girlfriend and his two hunchbanck servants
*** There is no way gm is going to allow us play all-female party of rocking goth bards called Hex Girls
**** Adding one guy and pink-loving manager and changing the name to Marceline and the Screaming Queens won't help.
** Cannot harass some guy by claiming he's responsible for every crime we see, before being proven wrong.
** Cannot put all my ranks in Craft (traps)
*** my character does not have monthly subscribtion to Traps Illustrated
*** Cannot have a father that would make Gendo Ikari look like dad of the year.
**** Even if we're playing Adeptus Elegy Evangelion
***** Cannot have a pilot who makes others lead Angels into elaborated, city-sized traps
****** Scooby-Doo gang is not vaild concept for Ad Eva game.

* When gm allowed me to play Fred Flinstone, he didn't mean the one from "Jaba Daba Don".
** Cannot base my Shadowrun campaing plot on "The Man called Flinstone".

[Slipperychicken]

It'd be just like Game of Thrones but with jazz hands MAGIC jazz hands!

Massive Game of Thrones spoilers:
Doesn't the setting already have plenty of magic?

I've been watching the TV show, up to the episode where the fire-immune dragonborn woman defeats the warlock in his tower. Seems pretty magical to me, what with all the zombies, dragons, illusions, and general sorcery.

Sidetrack: If the dragonborn's hair is also immune to fire, couldn't someone fashion a fireproof suit out of it?

*Daenerys Targaryen does not slay dragons. She does the exact opposite.
**She doesn't wear a horned helmet either.
***Her draconic ancestry does NOT manifest in the form of Dragon Shouts.
****For the last time, she isn't the Dovahkiin!

[unseenmage]

Doesn't the setting already have plenty of magic?

Probably.
But I bet it doesn't have Jazz. Just sayin'.

[Ksheep]

* Even if the Paladin is being Lawful Stupid, I may not say "***** the Paladin and the horse he rode in on".
** Especially if I just cast suggestion on an NPC.
*** Goes double if I successfully cast suggestion on a dragon.

[DigoDragon]

No longer allowed to let the barbarian feed the BBEG's pet monster.

Not allowed to talk smack about the barbarian when his date is within ear shot.

The barbarian is not allowed to impersonate the Kool-Aid man.

[Ionbound]

*I am no longer allowed to use perfectly legitimate class features to make a laser rifle.

**I am no longer allowed to play Machinesmith

***I am no longer allowed to take crafting feats

****I am no longer allowed to craft items under any circumstance

[Slipperychicken]

The barbarian is not allowed to impersonate the Kool-Aid man.

*If a character can make the check to burst through a wall or door, he is morally obligated to do so while screaming "OH YEAH!!"

**Refusal to do this for any reason is a Lawful Boring act, and will cause any chaotic otherwise-awesome character to lose his class features until he atones.

[Man on Fire]

*If a character can make the check to burst through a wall or door, he is morally obligated to do so while screaming "OH YEAH!!"

**Refusal to do this for any reason is a Lawful Boring act, and will cause any chaotic otherwise-awesome character to lose his class features until he atones.

*** The only exception to that is if immiediatelly after bursting through the wall or door, the character will hand a wiener to the nearest person and yell "TASTE SOME SLIM JIM!"

[Zahhak]

I'm probably going to miss this thread rolling over.

Sad panda.

[eulmanis12]

*If a vampire has successfully convicned half the town to turn traitor, my response should be to stab him, not to call in the Military Governer and her retinue of the Medeval Delta Force then watch as she curb stomps him

* I am permitted to hire an assassin, I may not use diplomacy to convince him two silver is fair pay for a successful hit

* after being raised I should not try to befriend the sentient undead that killed me an ate my brain

* Killing an enemy and feeding the body to demons should probably result in me having an evil alignment, even if the demons were accidental

* packs of velocoraptors are the hunters, not the prey, I should remember this

* If the enemy is a greater demon with an army of mind-controlled velocoraptors, I may safely assume that the standard response of " I poke him with my sword" will not suffice
**may not complain when his response is to laugh at, then flatten me
*** In this situation it is acceptable for my 3rd level dwarven fighter, and the 1st level human rogue with him to run away very quickly, while screaming

****all of the above were from the same session

[Esprit15]

PTTA

* I may not teach Gardevoir (either gender) Attract.
** Attract does not work on humans when used by a Pokémon.
*** No, it is not "okay" if it is used by a Zubat instead.
**** No, Zubat doesn't sparkle when it uses Attract.
** Attract does not work on Pokémon when used by a human.
*** TM45 is to remain out of my hands, as are Pokémon who have had it used on them.

[DigoDragon]

No longer allowed to design frictionless silk pjamas for the (now late) king.

No longer allowed to use sliding patio doors as improvised weapons.

The pony is no longer allowed access to her master's spellbook.

No longer allowed to start up a betting pool on how long the wizard lasts before he hurls from sea-sickness.

No longer allowed to give cotton balls to the wizard for his sea-sickness if they're laced with a contact sleep poison. ...even if the wizard is better off that way.

[marcielle]

May not try to invoke a Kraken on dry land
*If party somehow manages to invoke a Kraken on dry land, we do not get xp for it's eventual death by dehydration
**Not even if we stab it before it dies
***Especially not if we are level 3
****May not complain when Kraken's hormonally-fueled enraged mother appears to take revenge

[Sgt. Cookie]

*If we are playing D&D set in the modern world, I cannot have a Jimi Hendrix as a Cohort, ressurected or otherwise.
**Nor can I raise the other two Beatles
***If I ignore my DM and do this anyway, I can only do it for the Bardic stuff, not to make obscene amounts of money.

[Slipperychicken]

***If I ignore my DM and do this anyway, I can only do it for the Bardic stuff, not to make obscene amounts of money.

****Insisting that making obscene amounts of money is not "Bardic stuff" is heresy, and indicative of a complete ignorance of the Bard's playstyle.

*****Seriously, the Bard exists to remind D&D players that social skills are often much more valuable than violence skills.

[Doxkid]

*I may not undercut the backstory of several other PCs by offering quasi-Free Cloning services, essentially providing Greater Resurrections for a fraction of the normal cost.

[Swaoeaeieu]

- I may no longer use a combination of feats, special materials and extra arms to wield a bastard sword with a damage die seven size categories larger than normal.

seven?! How? do explain good sir.

*During combat on the airship, i may no longer activate a no magic zone. that's how ships crash...

[Jormengand]

seven?! How? do explain good sir.

*During combat on the airship, i may no longer activate a no magic zone. that's how ships crash...

There are races (admittedly, no WotC or Paizo ones, I believe) which are large creatures (so +1 size (large) already) with four arms, although my preferred method is to convince the DM that Mechanical Warrior is really excellent homebrew and should be allowed. This allows me to wield a weapon 3 categories higher than large (Colossal). I then take Lighten Weapon and Improved Lighten weapon (in PF) or equivalent Monkey's Grips (In 3.X), which add on another one (So I am essentially using a 0-handed weapon 4-handed) meaning that I have +5 categories above normal (Enormous). That's as big as it gets, but don't rush out to buy your Enormous-sized greatsword, because it has to be made out of greensteel. You then have your person enlarged so you are wielding an Immense weapon which deals damage as though it were behemothic. If you use homebrew spells which increase you by up to 4 categories rather than just one, then you become an enormous creature with a mountainous weapon which deals damage as though it were vast.

I may never, ever, EVER do this. I am hereby disallowed from the use of a vast bastard sword.

[Afool]

If you use homebrew spells which increase you by up to 4 categories rather than just one, then you become an enormous creature with a mountainous weapon which deals damage as though it were vast.

I may never, ever, EVER do this. I am hereby disallowed from the use of a vast bastard sword.

I'd love to see what you'd do with a Wu-jen.

[Jormengand]

I'd love to see what you'd do with a Wu-jen.

A what now?

[Swaoeaeieu]

There are races (admittedly, no WotC or Paizo ones, I believe) which are large creatures (so +1 size (large) already) with four arms, although my preferred method is to convince the DM that Mechanical Warrior is really excellent homebrew and should be allowed. This allows me to wield a weapon 3 categories higher than large (Colossal). I then take Lighten Weapon and Improved Lighten weapon (in PF) or equivalent Monkey's Grips (In 3.X), which add on another one (So I am essentially using a 0-handed weapon 4-handed) meaning that I have +5 categories above normal (Enormous). That's as big as it gets, but don't rush out to buy your Enormous-sized greatsword, because it has to be made out of greensteel. You then have your person enlarged so you are wielding an Immense weapon which deals damage as though it were behemothic. If you use homebrew spells which increase you by up to 4 categories rather than just one, then you become an enormous creature with a mountainous weapon which deals damage as though it were vast.

I may never, ever, EVER do this. I am hereby disallowed from the use of a vast bastard sword.

Oh i see, i read the original wrong, i thought you meant wielding a weapon 7 sizes larger then you are. but increasing you own size makes the weapon bigger then normal. still a cool combo.

[Jormengand]

still a cool combo.

Oh, not so fast. You can be turned into a creature which is already Gargantuan (with 4 hands, still), which means you can wield a Titanic weapon which counts as Monumental.

[Afool]

A what now?

A Wu-Jen (http://dndtools.eu/classes/wu-jen/). Originally released in Oriental Adventures, the class was minimally updated in Complete Arcane. An oft use of the Wu-Jen is certain gish builds for their spell Giant Size (http://dndtools.eu/spells/complete-arcane--55/giant-size--550/).

It allows you to grow to Huge Size or larger based on your caster level (1st–15th Huge;16th–18th Gargantuan;19th or higher Colossal) with a casting time of 1 round and a duration of 1 minute. (Keep in mind the range of Personal)

*Edit; Now let's see what it would cost to get it as an item;
*Scrounges up DMG*

Ok so 7*13*2000=182,000gp for Giant Size (Huge) Continuous Item
7*13*25=2,275gp for a Scroll of the same

7*16*2000=224,000gp for Gargantuan
7*16*25=2,800gp for the Scroll

7*19*2000=266,000gp for Colossal
7*19*25=3,325gp for the Scroll

[Jormengand]

A Wu-Jen (http://dndtools.eu/classes/wu-jen/). Originally released in Oriental Adventures, the class was minimally updated in Complete Arcane. An oft use of the Wu-Jen is certain gish builds for their spell Giant Size (http://dndtools.eu/spells/complete-arcane--55/giant-size--550/).

It allows you to grow to Huge Size or larger based on your caster level (1st–15th Huge;16th–18th Gargantuan;19th or higher Colossal) with a casting time of 1 round and a duration of 1 minute. (Keep in mind the range of Personal)

*Edit; Now let's see what it would cost to get it as an item;
*Scrounges up DMG*

Ok so 7*13*2000=182,000gp for Giant Size (Huge) Continuous Item
7*13*25=2,275gp for a Scroll of the same

7*16*2000=224,000gp for Gargantuan
7*16*25=2,800gp for the Scroll

7*19*2000=266,000gp for Colossal
7*19*25=3,325gp for the Scroll


Eh... would that stack with larger versions of enlarge person? I don't think it would.

[DigoDragon]

I may no longer attend the late king's funeral, only to start a heated argument with the widow'd queen over who has the bigger measurements. The wizard is not allowed to make popcorn to watch this.
I may no longer refer to the late king's son as "The King Formally Known as Prince." Especially when he's in the room.
Not allowed to hit on my wife's rogue character when she's secretly playing an assassin (Well, I didn't die...)
Not allowed to pay the court bard to write me an epic based on how the PC who started the fight in the first point got his butt curb stomped by an unarmed queen.

[Alabenson]

* When it is suggested that the party return the large sum of money we've found to its rightful owner, I am required to at least attempt to keep from laughing.

The following all came from the same White Wolf Campaign
* Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force is not an acceptable character concept.
* There are many excellent characters in media that my Promethean can emulate. Bender Bending Rodriguez is not one of them.
* I may never again play a werewolf with maximum strength and Legendary Arm.
* From now on, before I fire an RPG at a van, I an required to make sure that it is not being driven by another member of the party (this one wasn't me).
* I am no longer allowed to bring RPGs on missions that are explicitly described as "stealth" missions. Particularly if they mainly take place indoors(again, not me).

[Slipperychicken]

* From now on, before I fire an RPG at a van, I an required to make sure that it is not being driven by another member of the party (this one wasn't me).

[nWoD]

*Rocket-jumping breaks the tone of the campaign.

**Even if it's totally awesome.

***Especially if my character (a Mask, which is essentially Jason Voorhees (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jason_Voorhees)) would only take 1 point of damage from it.

*Masks may not use suicide vests.

**They can't detonate explosives in melee either.

***I may no longer play a Mask.

[eulmanis12]

* If the DM has informed us that the man we're hunting has left town aboard a ship called the HMS Sherbrook and we have then proceeded to hire a privateering ship called the Antelope, captained by a man named Elsewood Barrett in order to go after him, I may not accuse the GM of railroading
** however when the Antelope's four pounders have made "an awful din, but with one fat ball the enemy staves you in" I am not only entitled to accusations of railroading but now may also be eligible to slap the GM. Niether He nor I am permitted to make an entire session into a single 3 hour song reference.

the song in question was Barrett's Privateers, for anyone who is interested

[Jormengand]

- While playing D20 40K, I may no longer buy infinite heavy flamers with infinite ammo before the game starts, and hand them out to my party.
-- I am also disallowed from buying a Sentinel
--- No, I can't have a chimera either.
---- Despite it having a purchase DC, I may never own a titan.
----- Lightning fighters are probably out too.

[Man on Fire]

*Cannot tell the devil that if he's not up with that, thehn we have two words for him.
** Cannot follow that by yelling SUUUUCK IT!
*** Cannot declare myself and other player new D-Generation X
**** Cannot take souls of the damned and force them to be our DX Army

[Alabenson]

* I am not allowed to base my PC on Johan Liebert, Freddy Mercury, or Pinkie Pie.
* I am not to design an entire adventure around making as many Beatles references as possible.
** Basing a campaign on The Yellow Submarine is right out.

[Slipperychicken]

** Basing a campaign on The Yellow Submarine is right out.

***May not steal hundreds of holes from the Sea of Holes.

****May not weaponize holes by placing them on enemy's stomachs so their guts spill out.

*****Selling "portable holes" to the military is right out.

******I may not return to the Sea of Holes to steal more holes.

*Blue Meanies are not Smurfs.

**Their flesh does not taste like blueberries.

[Arkhosia]

*i may not try to run across a table covered in food.
**i may not gain hp for my face landing in chocolate mousse.
***i may not let my paladin of pelor try to multiclass as an infernal pact warlock

[Zahhak]

If going out of town for two weeks results in another PC (nearly) dying, I am not allowed to go.

[Doorhandle]

[nWoD]

*Rocket-jumping breaks the tone of the campaign.

**Even if it's totally awesome.

***Especially if my character (a Mask, which is essentially Jason Voorhees (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jason_Voorhees)) would only take 1 point of damage from it.

*Masks may not use suicide vests.

**They can't detonate explosives in melee either.

***I may no longer play a Mask.

*My mask is not Krieg.

[Sgt. Cookie]

*When I say I am making a Cleric of Courage I am not to shapeshift and revere a small purple dog.

[Moonwolf727]

*When I say I am making a Cleric of Courage I am not to shapeshift and revere a small purple dog.

** I am not to refer to any evil-aligned outsiders as Eustace. The same goes for calling good-aligned outsiders Muriel.

*** The plane containg my destined afterlife is not called 'Shack in the Middle of Nowhere'

[Zahhak]

Man, I suddenly miss that show. Time to do some illegal streaming!

[Doxkid]

FEEL SHAME.

Now go out and purchase the DVDs legally.

[Zahhak]

Wish I could, if only I had the moneyz. I also have a thing about how the makers of TV and movies don't understand the market anymore, so I feel no real obligation to give them money.

[Moonwolf727]

How about we Stop Talking About That and get the thread back on its track.

[Doxkid]

Wait a minute, this thread has tracks?

I assumed it was more of "half-dazed wandering as a man man reveals secrets he did not know he kept" sort of deal. Or a "drink deeply from a poisoned eldritch well" situation.

This changes Everything.

[wiimanclassic]

*I may not play a half orc luchador.
**I sure as hell can't try to grapple a dragon we're meant to run from.
***That's it, this fight never happened, you did not beat a dragon at level four by pinning its wings while it was flying and having it snap its neck when it hit the ground.

*I may not play Muscle Psion
**I may not play Muscle Wizard
***No, not even if I use Illumian for my race.

[Doorhandle]

Wait a minute, this thread has tracks?

I assumed it was more of "half-dazed wandering as a man man reveals secrets he did not know he kept" sort of deal. Or a "drink deeply from a poisoned eldritch well" situation.

This changes Everything.

The things you mentioned ARE the tracks. That conversation was approaching lucid territory and had to be quashed. :smallbiggrin:

*when using a bard's countersong, cannot play this. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lrr_VVtyUA8)

[Milo v3]

* I may not modify one of my pokemon to be immortal and immune to everything except fire.
** I may not then merge with said pokemon to gain all it's powers.
*** Especially if I am effectively immune to fire.

* I may not eat a legendary pokemon so I become them.
** If I become the legendary, I can't catch myself.
*** Nor may my party members.
** I am never allowed to apply Type-Shifting to myself.
** Ditto's do not exist if I become a pokemon.
*** I cannot produce an egg with any other pokemon, regardless of how high my party members breeding check is.

[Zahhak]

What the ever loving crap?

[Milo v3]

What the ever loving crap?

Pokemon Tabletop United :smallbiggrin:

[Zahhak]

I'm... I'm greatly disturbed by this turn of events.

[Milo v3]

I'm... I'm greatly disturbed by this turn of events.

When my character became a legendary our groups first thoughts:
Me (Capture Specialist): And now the god of death is in the group.
Dark Ace: Now we just need to make this even more overpowered.
Hatcher: Why don't we take away your weaknesses with Typeshift, then I'll breed you to create an army of superpowered no weakness Giratina.
Me: But then I'd have to be caught. Wait... I can rebound the pokeball from the wall and capture myself.
Hatcher: Okay, but make sure I get all the eggs.
Dark Ace: Am I the only one realizing how squick that is....

[Sgt. Cookie]

*Sense Motive is to let me tell when someone is lying, not to give me psychic readings about murder victims.

[Arkhosia]

Man, I suddenly miss that show. Time to do some illegal streaming!

Which show?

[Afool]

Courage the Cowardly Dog :smallcool:

[unseenmage]

Courage the Cowardly Dog

Why illegal? It's already on Netflix.

[Zahhak]

I had Netflix for awhile. Then it occurred to them that because I would basically watch the entire run of a TV show in a week, they were losing money on me, so my video quality went in the toilet, along with my buffering speed. After a little while of that I decided I hated Netflix and would rather watch TV illegally.

Seriously people: commercials are not that bad. Putting them in so you make money on how much I watch, rather than your expectation that I'll pay for a service I'll never use, and then punish me when you aren't smart enough to use a technology you've already had for a billion years.

[Afool]

I think Moonwolf's statement needs to be reiterated.


How about we Stop Talking About That and get the thread back on its track.

[unseenmage]

I think Moonwolf's statement needs to be reiterated.

An excellent point.

- I will not build an infinite money machine.
-- Even if the DM allows it.
--- Esp. if the DM says, "And that gives me an idea!"

- I will not use infinite money to tear a hole in reality to another campaign setting.
-- I will not then tear another hole into a non-linked plane within that campaign setting.
--- I'm no longer allowed to research fast time optimization.

---- Esp. if the Dm allows it or says, "And that gives me an idea!"
----- No, it doesn't matter how many in-game years it would otherwise be before my stronghold is finished.

- I'm never allowed to play an Artificer again.
-- Ever.
--- No, not even if it gives the DM ideas.

[Ksheep]

* I may not make a Druid Plow

[Afool]

An excellent point.
--- No, not even if it gives the DM ideas.

---- Especially if it gives the DM ideas :smalleek:

[Doxkid]

*While I'm not entirely sure what you think you're doing, you cannot milk milk a bird.

**Being a biology major doesn't give you a license to lie convincingly about nature, no matter how good at lying you are. Using big words to confuse people doesnt help when one of those people is an english major who reads your notes and textbooks.

***Stop trying to roll a sleight of Hand to milk a bird. We wont let you. Not after last time.

****Well...I suppose with a Diplomacy roll that high, nature will take a few suggestions...

[Zahhak]

--- No, not even if it gives the DM ideas.
---- Especially if it gives the DM ideas

-----Heretofore, any action which may give the DM ideas or otherwise encourage his bad behavior is banned

* I am not allowed to turn my hatred of Windows 8 into a campaign... Somehow...

* For now on, I am banned from watching Hannibal movies before 9PM.

[DigoDragon]

The Party is no longer allowed to hand out toy jewelry to the orphans enchanted with Fire Resistance and then burn down the orphanage in a ploy to look like heroes when they come out with the children unharmed.

[Socratov]

The Party is no longer allowed to hand out toy jewelry to the orphans enchanted with Fire Resistance and then burn down the orphanage in a ploy to look like heroes when they come out with the children unharmed.

This. Is. Awesome! And hilarious! And scandalous! I love it!

[Wookieetank]

Noticing the page number, may I suggest one of the following:

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: Dual Wielding Dragons
Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: Dragonchucks Are Right Out
Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: The Elder Scolls of Bad Behavior

[Socratov]

obviously this one:


Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: The Elder Scolls of Bad Behavior

[Slipperychicken]

The Party is no longer allowed to hand out toy jewelry to the orphans enchanted with Fire Resistance and then burn down the orphanage in a ploy to look like heroes when they come out with the children unharmed.

What, did they enchant the orphans to be immune to asphyxiation too? And what about buildings collapsing on their heads?

[Sgt. Cookie]

Here's my suggestion for the next thread: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: Improvised Weapon Proficiency (Game Books)

[Afool]

obviously this one:

I concur with this one.

[Sith_Happens]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: Pun & Pun, Rules-Attorneys at Law

[Ksheep]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: Surviving the Wightocalypse

[Blightedmarsh]

Things I may no longer do while playing D&D V: Take an arrow to the knee

[Scow2]

Things I may no longer do while playing D&D V: Take an arrow to the knee
This joke died two years ago. Let's not.

[enderlord99]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 5: I May No Longer Switch Numbering Systems.

[unseenmage]

This joke died two years ago. Let's not.



Things I may no longer do while playing D&D V: I Used to Be a Naysayer Like You; But Then I Took an Arrow to the Knee

:smallbiggrin:

[enderlord99]

Things I may no longer do while playing D&D V: I Used to Be a Naysayer Like You; But Then I Took an Arrow to the Knee

:smallbiggrin:

The good news is, that won't fit anyway.

[Arkhosia]

Things I may no longer do while playing D&D V: I Used to Be a Naysayer Like You; But Then I Took an Arrow to the Knee

:smallbiggrin:

Be careful who you say that to... :smalltongue:
http://youtu.be/UagqsOT4Vic

[unseenmage]

Be careful who you say that to... :smalltongue:
http://youtu.be/UagqsOT4Vic

Best meme-ending ever. Thank you, I needed a laugh.

[Winds]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: Pun & Pun, Rules-Attorneys at Law

My vote goes here.

[Arkhosia]

Best meme-ending ever. Thank you, I needed a laugh.
Another one:
http://youtu.be/-qghfczA2bk
There are a few curse words that are written out on the screen, but nothing else. As long as your fine with a couple f-words, your'e good.
Just warning because it's currently workday hours where I live (eastern USA).

[unseenmage]

Another one:
http://youtu.be/-qghfczA2bk
There are a few curse words that are written out on the screen, but nothing else. As long as your fine with a couple f-words, your'e good.
Just warning because it's currently workday hours where I live (eastern USA).

Appreciate the heads up. It's workday hours where I live too. (mideastern USA) and I'm a stay-at-home-dad so my work environment appreciates the warning as well.

The hilljack music really did it for this one.
"Arrow... to the... EVERYWHERE!!!" Very nice.

[Arkhosia]

Appreciate the heads up. It's workday hours where I live too. (mideastern USA) and I'm a stay-at-home-dad so my work environment appreciates the warning as well.

The hilljack music really did it for this one.
"Arrow... to the... EVERYWHERE!!!" Very nice.

My favorite one of his (series of 13 ways to die in video games) is the mass effect 3 one. Same warnings apply though.
"No, not Timmy. He owed me 50 credits." XD

[Ionbound]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: Pun & Pun, Rules-Attorneys at Law

This is too good not to use.

[Doorhandle]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: Pun & Pun, Rules-Attorneys at Law

YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES!


What, did they enchant the orphans to be immune to asphyxiation too? And what about buildings collapsing on their heads?

Don't think they thought that through... :smallbiggrin:

[Kane0]

*Can no longer combine warlock with wild magic
**Said Wild Warlock can no longer create dead magic zones, wild magic zones and/or spellscars, regardless of intent and/or edition of D&D.
***Eldritch blast cannot be used to create blasts of random condiments.
****'Eldritch Hellstorm' is not a real nor valid Blast Shape.

[Alex12]

****'Eldritch Hellstorm' is not a real nor valid Blast Shape.

Actually, that sounds awesome.

*I may not play Dvati. Ever.
**No, not even then.

[Arkhosia]

Back to topic:
*my evil Elf Druid cannot worship Lolth
**my Druid cannot Wild Shape into a dragon
***even if her name's Flemeph
****she cannot burn down a forest.

[Wookieetank]

* I may not summon a number of demonic beings and submit them to my control in place of having an actual party
** Atempting to fuse said beings through mundane or magic means to create more powerful beings is right out.
*** No longer allowed to play any Mon games before or during the character creation process.

[Adanedhel]

If playing a combat heavy game, saying I'll make a character like that movie with Hugh Jackman is absolutely cool.

However, the expectation will be that I'm playing Wolverine, not Jean Valjean.

Making him a Bard does not make things better.

[Slipperychicken]

* I may not summon a number of demonic beings and submit them to my control in place of having an actual party

**Although they are admittedly great at carousing and reveling, it is a terrible idea to throw a house party involving dozens of bound Demons.

***Especially if it's in the BBEG's house.

****No, the BBEG will not "loosen up" in response to your offer to let him have a trio of Succubi for the night.

[Zahhak]

* "Pun and Pun: Rules Lawyers" is not a viable character concept, no matter how awesome and/or hilarious

I did actually propose to my group that when we start a new campaign (we have three in the works, one is a super villain campaign) I would make a rules lawyer. In HERO system you can actually make a character that is based around reducing/stopping/stealing other characters powers, so the idea of a character who walks around with a book literally rewriting the rules by going "oh, you think you have a 10 dice kill fireball? Well, now fireballs are limited to 4 dice normal damage" isn't all that ridiculous, but its still a concept more about funny then serious.

[Asahel24601]

If playing a combat heavy game, saying I'll make a character like that movie with Hugh Jackman is absolutely cool.

However, the expectation will be that I'm playing Wolverine, not Jean Valjean.

Making him a Bard does not make things better.

Javert is, however acceptable.

Seriously, though, this is awesome.

[Sgt. Cookie]

*"Brian Blessed" is an appropriate Truenamer concept. It is not an appropriate Assassin concept.

[Kymme]

*This (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGzghUQRVk8) is not valid inspiration for an Infernal Exalted.

[Balmas]

*For my own safety, may not act as the maitre-d for the ranger's seduction attempt.
**Furthermore, may not get stinking drunk on cherry wine in the back room.
***May not then kill the ranger on waking up drunk, naked, and married to the catgirl that I've been working on avoiding.

[Afool]

*This (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGzghUQRVk8) is not valid inspiration for an Infernal Exalted.

On the contrary, I think this would be an awesome Infernal. It's disturbing, yes, but for the theme, the Undertaker is just epic.

[Ryu_Bonkosi]

*This (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGzghUQRVk8) is not valid inspiration for an Infernal Exalted.

** When told to find other inspiration, this (http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs48/f/2009/181/d/9/Millenium_Earl_by_DrawingKuma.png) is not an acceptable substitute.

[DigoDragon]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: The Elder Scolls of Bad Behavior

Heh, I like this one.



What, did they enchant the orphans to be immune to asphyxiation too? And what about buildings collapsing on their heads?

Don't expect PCs to think that far ahead! :smalltongue: They didn't wait long after setting the building on fire anyway, so the dangers of asphyxiation and building collapse were low. That and there weren't many witnesses (other than the children, who simply thought the ordeal was awesome) so they didn't get much out of it other than a workout.

[Arkhosia]

*My Dragon Sorcerer may not have a burn on the left of his face, a mop top, scimitars, red robes, daddy and sister issues, be an antagonist turned good, and be chaotic______.
**said sorcerer can't have a bard companion npc constantly playing this (http://youtu.be/6eBGEtlHgwk) on a anachronistic guitar.

[Sith_Happens]

*My Dragon Sorcerer may not have a burn on the left of his face, a mop top, scimitars, red robes, daddy and sister issues, be an antagonist turned good, and be chaotic______.

Are you kidding? Zuko is so Lawful it hurts.

[Arkhosia]

Are you kidding? Zuko is so Lawful it hurts.
Really? I sort of consider him a chaotic character, but then again in my mind Zuko= a:Bad***, b:3rd season/good guy.
But yeah, season 1/parts of 2 TOTALLY equal lawful nuetral (he wasn't really evil in the "go out of the way to kill someone" sense, just ruthless, which strikes me as a nuetral quality).
Oh well. As long as no one objects to Benjamin the Bard companion (you know where his name's from. Don't lie to me!) who is notorious for breaking magic sound-enhancing artifacts.
Oh, and BTW
***No, the aforementioned sorcerer cannot have an immediate interrupt that redirects electrical attacks.

[LokiRagnarok]

You forgot mentioning HONOOOOOR!

[Arkhosia]

You forgot mentioning HONOOOOOR!

Oh yeah.....
****the sorcerer cannot try to take the wizard prisoner various times (phb wizard)

[Asahel24601]

*I may not give the Dirty Harry "You feeling lucky, Punk?" speech.
**Not even if it would fit my character
***Especially if my character's only weapon is a longbow.

[Arkhosia]

*I may not give the Dirty Harry "You feeling lucky, Punk?" speech.
**Not even if it would fit my character
***Especially if my character's only weapon is a longbow.

The speech only works if you're holding a crossbow: anyone can see a loaded arrow or a quiver's contents, but a loaded bolt? Maybe, maybe not, depending on the distance.
It works great for 3.5: "to be honest, I can't remember how many magic missiles I prepared today..."

[Slipperychicken]

The speech only works if you're holding a crossbow: anyone can see a loaded arrow or a quiver's contents, but a loaded bolt? Maybe, maybe not, depending on the distance.
It works great for 3.5: "to be honest, I can't remember how many magic missiles I prepared today..."

A wand would work fine.

[Arkhosia]

Oh yeah. Good point.

[jindra34]

*I may not give the Dirty Harry "You feeling lucky, Punk?" speech.
**Not even if it would fit my character
***Especially if my character's only weapon is a longbow.

***Also may not do so with a revolver that creates ammo in its chambers. Because that is cheating.

[Kane0]

So, new thread now?

[Ambrose Brodnax]

My character is not allowed to sleep during Boss fights
My character is not allowed To drop the roof of the temple on a boss
I am NOT allowed To declare to the tavern that the player playing a centaur raped me
I am NOT allowed to make my 6 year old chaotic neutral Barbarian a litch
I am NOT allowed to play a sadist lawful good paladin
I am NOT allowed to run a warforged druid named Megatron
I am NOT allowed to leave the party, mainly because they died when I did
I'm not allowed to seduce the main quest giver
I'm not allowed to Dimension Door how to every combat encounter
Dimension Door at the bottom of a lake is considered rude when fighting sharks
shape changing to another party members to give them a bad reputation is also considered rude
I am NOT allowed to run a drug dealer charisma character

[Ionbound]

*I am not allowed to play a Daemonette

**After the Creed Incident, I am not allowed to play a worshiper of Slaanesh

***Tzeetch is right out, as is Nurgle

****Khorne is only allowed if the character in question has a combined fellowship and intellect of less than 20

[Ksheep]

* I may not buy any of the other characters a pint of Johnny Jump Up
** Nor may I buy them a bottle of the Ol' Janx Spirit
*** I am disallowed from even contemplating purchasing a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, for me or for anyone else
**** The only alcoholic beverages available from here on out is rum, grog, and stout

[Sith_Happens]

* My campaign may not at any point feature a wight that was a small child before turning.
** I may not have it repeatedly ask the PCs if one of them is its mother.
** It may not wear a mask of any kind.

[Arkhosia]

* My campaign may not at any point feature a wight that was a small child before turning.
** I may not have it repeatedly ask the PCs if one of them is its mother.
*** It may not wear a mask of any kind.
**** the stone golems may not be angel statues
*****thie encounter also may not feature a lack of light
******No, my BBEG cannot constantly hear drums

[unseenmage]

**** the stone golems may not be angel statues
*****thie encounter also may not feature a lack of light


******The angel Golems may not be filled with Quintessence
*******No, it doesn't matter if you have done the math.
********Not even if it would take one Psion 2 full months of Manifesting Quintessence just to make a Small one.
*********Never allowed to play a Psion or bring a calculator to the gaming table ever again.

[Arkhosia]

******The angel Golems may not be filled with Quintessence
*******No, it doesn't matter if you have done the math.
********Not even if it would take one Psion 2 full months of Manifesting Quintessence just to make a Small one.
*********Never allowed to play a Psion or bring a calculator to the gaming table ever again.

*******The golems cannot have an at-will touch spell that time-warps someone.
********metal golems may not (or cannot have):
A. Mind-control
B. attempt to exterminate organic life
C. Have Exotic weapon proficiency: toilet plunger
D. Ask to have hearts
E. polymorph into horse-drawn carts
F. "Delete" people
G. Yell "Spaaaaaaaace!".
H. Ask for a weapon
I. Have force fields and roll around in ball shapes
J. Have a +5 vulnerability to Stairs
K. Run test facilities
L. Tell someone "I'm afraid I can't let you do that".
M. Try to kill 12 year-olds who are really irritating
N. Rule England during a war
O. Quest for a glowing metal mask
P. be named after a synonym for info
References respectfully

A. Reapers
B. Daleks and reapers
C.Dalek
D. Tin man
E. Transformers
F. Cybermen
G. Space core
H.Master Cheif
I. Droidiekas
J. Daleks
K.GLaDOS
L.HAL
M. Terminator
N.Iron Lady
O. Bionicles
P.Data

Any other famous metal men, women, and Androgynous I forgot?

[Kymme]

*******The golems cannot have an at-will touch spell that time-warps someone.
********metal golems may not (or cannot have):
A. Mind-control
B. attempt to exterminate organic life
C. Have Exotic weapon proficiency: toilet plunger
D. Ask to have hearts
E. polymorph into horse-drawn carts
F. "Delete" people
G. Yell "Spaaaaaaaace!".
H. Ask for a weapon
I. Have force fields and roll around in ball shapes
J. Have a +5 vulnerability to Stairs
K. Run test facilities
L. Tell someone "I'm afraid I can't let you do that".
M. Try to kill 12 year-olds who are really irritating
N. Rule England during a war
O. Quest for a glowing metal mask
P. be named after a synonym for info
References respectfully

A. Reapers
B. Daleks and reapers
C.Dalek
D. Tin man
E. Transformers
F. Cybermen
G. Space core
H.Master Cheif
I. Droidiekas
J. Daleks
K.GLaDOS
L.HAL
M. Terminator
N.Iron Lady
O. Bionicles
P.Data

Any other famous metal men, women, and Androgynous I forgot?

>Bionicles

You win this thread.

[Rockphed]

>Bionicles

You win this thread.

Which is just as well, since I just created a new one. Go remit future taxes to Pun & Pun, Rules-Lawyers at law