Favorite lines

[MichaelGoldclaw]

Looks like I'll haf ta us tha old "Cleric's Feather Fall" heal - Durkon

Solve a man's problems with violence, help him for a day. Teach a man to solve his problems with violence, help him for a lifetime. - Belkar

Because I'm holding a thermal detonator - gannji

Redcloak (verbally) owning Miko (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0372.html)

[prism6691]

V casts disintegrate, V casts gust of wind ......NOW CAN WE PLEASE RESUME SAVING THE WORLD?!-V

Your Aerial elusions will not keep you from joining your former master in his fabulous new career as a low concentration salt water solution.-V

Fascinating, It appears that (with the magic off) you cease to be a mighty wizard and become a fragile pointy eared monkey.....while I....I AM STILL A DRAGON (smush).-abd

Without your magic, you are nothing.....with your magic, you are still less than I am-abd

[Nephrahim]

I'm glad you figured that out before I advanced another age catagory, mr. Greenhilt. - Sojo

[Mike Havran]

Arise, my children. Only the honor of a paladin is unbreakable, even by death itself. Ghost-martyrs of the Sapphire Guard- ATTACK!
Soon

[Sith_Happens]

"It appears... not everyone... agrees with your... analysis..." (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0407.html)
-Shojo

[RNGgod]

:vaarsuvius: Perhaps...Perhaps we do not know everything we ought to regarding the task which we are undertaking.


And of course,

:redcloak: Humans...I've come to expect your lack of respect for the lives of MY people, but I am still continually amazed at how little you value those of your own. You're nothing but savages, amoral savages.

[veti]

:belkar: Anyone ELSE wanna discuss my creature type with me?

Actually, pretty much every line in this strip (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0538.html) is beautiful. It's as if the author was sitting in on one of our more entertaining D&D sessions.

[Jay R]

It doesn't matter if you win or lose as long as you look cool doing it.

I am a sexy shoeless god of war!

Eyes. Let's all pretend you were about to say, "eyes".

In lieu of paradise, could I just get a picture of the exact look on his face?

Technically, the "fish" version is just a subset of this one.

[NZNinja]

As the size of an explosion increases, the number of social situations it is incapable of solving approaches zero.
-V

No, wait, what are you talking about? "Explosive Runes" isn't spelled-
- Belkar

I rest easy knowing that your revenge first requires you to outsmart someone's mount.
- V

Your approval fills me with shame.
- Roy

[Dr.Epic]

I can't just choose one. OotS is a stick figure comic, so there are lots of lines.:smallwink:
Sorry, I couldn't resist that joke.

[ti'esar]

Most of my favorite bits are exchanges rather than individual lines, honestly.

But I will always have a special place in my heart for panel 11 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0367.html). (Mind you, even that works a lot better with the next two panels).

[Niknokitueu]

My personal faourite: I can live with that. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0464.html)

Have Fun!
Niknokitueu

[Incom]

^The "What is offal?" really sells it. (And I think that's the first time that sentence has ever been used.)

These are mostly from memory, don't feel like digging them up to get the exact quote.

"Did that halfling just hit me in the face with a pineapple?" -Wight

"Not that interrupting that train of thought wouldn't be reason enough for me to speak..." -Redcloak

"Mr. Stiffly? Mr. Stiffly! O-CHUL!" -MITD

"I think we broke Haley." -Elan

"I blame Cerberus." -(I think it was Belkar?)

"sigh... thog fears he will never again know the majesty of the gumdrop mountains" --guess who

"If you see any of your allies, kill them and bring me their magic items... If you see any of your allies, kill them and keep their magic items for yourself. While singing the complete score to "Meet Me In St. Louis." I love being evil." -Nale

And basically anything else uttered by MITD, Xykon, Vaarsuvius, Shojo, or Belkar.

[Blue Lantern]

:haley: Behold, the power of lying! You can pretty much alter reality, if you try hard enough.

O'Chul: No more spells No more goblin ... No more lich, then

:roy: We have never met before, and yet I feel an odd spiritual kinship...

[mistformsquirrl]

Your approval fills me with shame. (Roy, responding to Belkar)

I am a sexy shoeless god of war! (Belkar)

I think I just failed a spot check. (Belkar)

... and he kept stabbing them again and again... he's a halfling, he's supposed to be jolly... why isn't he jolly? WHY ISN'T HE JOLLY??? (Belkar's (Former) Shoulder Angel)

[Vinsfeld]

The whole speech in 657 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0657.html)

[ReaderAt2046]

[QUOTE=Incom;14133684"I think we broke Haley." -Elan
[/QUOTE]

That's one of my favorites too, along with (including but not limited too)

"We're talking about the the guy who decided to say the word 'blah' 497 times in a row just because it had never been done before." - Haley's Self-Loathing


"Guess what spell I cast before giving this to the bird" - V

"What purpose is served by a trap that sprays only barbecue sauce?" - V again.

"You know, the first two I should have seen coming. The leprechaun costume? Not so much." - Nale.

[Kgw]

"... Or Haley.
I must save Haley" - Elan.

"Durkon is going home!" - Durkon.

[ReaderAt2046]

A few more goodies:

"No, I mean literally. Go chase after him. he's escaping." Nale to Sabine regarding Elan.

"Time to buckle our swash!" Elan

"thog like costume. thog get in touch with inner greenness."
"You're green on the outside"
"thog get in touch with outer greenness too." Thog and Captain Scoundrel.

"I took Craft (Disturbing Mental Image) as my feat last level." Belkar

"Anyone seen [Tsukiko] recently?
"Not since I brutally murdered her ten minutes ago, no. " Xykon and Redcloak.

[Yana]

:vaarsuvius:: Heredity is a cruel mistress.

[weeping eagle]

Far and away, the joke about Evisceratus ending his sentence with a semicolon.

[ti'esar]

Another one I really liked, from strip 794 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0794.html):

:nale: : "No, I mean literally. Go chase after him. He's escaping."

[Tannhaeuser]

"Celestial tree sloth attack!"

[Bagger Baggins]

Also too lazy to look them up, but...

"I've been worm food for months, you can put up with a little full frontal."--Roy

"Good enough for me, this one's on the house. Remove curse, password 'evolve or die.'" --Nameless Completely Awesome Cleric of Loki

"And incidentally, lass, when this is all over him and me and ye will be having a little talk about what is and what isn't appropriate behavior for a young lady of your age. Do I make meself clear?"--Durkon

"You're an annoying twit who doesn't know as much as she thinks she does.....oh, you mean dismiss the SUMMONING." Haley, to Celia.

And, on a serious note, one of the best lines EVER--

"The loss of your craftsmanship diminishes our people, elder. May you be called upon to gild the edges of the Dark One's own armor. Disintegrate."
Redcloak, to the recently murdered hobgoblin artisan. Just a marvelously touching line, and a real insight into Redcloak's inherent nobility.

(oh, and this post needs a "like" button a la Facebook, because I've gotten some good laughs out of just reading everybody else's posts.)

[ReaderAt2046]

:roy: "Where is Girard Draketooth?"
"Beneath his own feet." Roy interrogating Orrin (or whoever it was).

"Eight percent? I've seen hospitals with worse mortality rates.":sabine:

"Sir, watch your grammar!"
"Why, what's wrong with it?"
"Absolutely nothing!" Kilkil and Malak.

"Remember the Rajah?"
"Ha, and you said there was no way I'd hold that much creamed spinach in my mouth for the whole coronation." Malak and Tarquin

"Ugh, reasonable adults talking out their differences? If this catches on we'll both be out of a job." :sabine:

And the coup de grace:

"your fault'- Draketooth mummy to Vaarsuvius.

[Ellye]

#595: (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0595.html)
"Disintegrate. Gust of Wind. Now can we PLEASE resume saving the world?"

That was just... beautiful.

[ReaderAt2046]

I still think "your fault" is one of the best lines in the entire comic.

[Boogastreehouse]

As my sig suggests, my favorite lines are ones in #262, leading up to the +2 circumstance bonus:

:vaarsuvius:Try simply speaking to Miss Starshine, Elan. Tell her how much faith you have in her rogue abilities.
:elan:Oh! OK!

:elan:So, Haley, uh I just wanted to say how much we're all counting on you. We don't really want to go to trial, so we need to get out of this dumb jail, like, right now.
:haley:Qbb, exfdir, dp nubrrzub exbub. (Gee, thanks, no pressure there.)

:elan:And even though that lock is really hard, I know you can do it. You can do anything.
:elan:Because you're smart and sneaky and good at stuff...
:haley:Wfld ce! PNBD!! (Damn it! OPEN!!)

:elan:And... I believe in you.

>click<

:elan:Woooo! Haley, you did it!!
:haley:C fl epefggj cd gpyb hcex jpz. (I am totally in love with you.)

[Sith_Happens]

"The loss of your craftsmanship diminishes our people, elder. May you be called upon to gild the edges of the Dark One's own armor. Disintegrate."
Redcloak, to the recently murdered hobgoblin artisan. Just a marvelously touching line, and a real insight into Redcloak's inherent nobility.

"Nobility" is hardly the word I'd use, seeing as Redcloak assuredly would have Disintegrated that guy regardless of whether Tsukiko killed him first.

[ReaderAt2046]

"Nobility" is hardly the word I'd use, seeing as Redcloak assuredly would have Disintegrated that guy regardless of whether Tsukiko killed him first.

What makes you think that? Either the goblin was in on the Plan or all he knew was that he was making Redcloak a new holy symbol. Either way, no need to kill him. And Redcloak, especially post-epiphany, doesn't seem inclined to kill his own unless necessary.

[Sith_Happens]

What makes you think that? Either the goblin was in on the Plan or all he knew was that he was making Redcloak a new holy symbol. Either way, no need to kill him. And Redcloak, especially post-epiphany, doesn't seem inclined to kill his own unless necessary.

And covering up all possible traces of his swap-the-phylactery scheme is as "necessary" as it gets. Seeing as Redcloak tells the spy in the Resistance (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0827.html) that he would have had to die either way, it makes no sense that he would then spare the person with the by far the biggest hand in helping him.

[Mike Havran]

And covering up all possible traces of his swap-the-phylactery scheme is as "necessary" as it gets. Seeing as Redcloak tells the spy in the Resistance (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0827.html) that he would have had to die either way, it makes no sense that he would then spare the person with the by far the biggest hand in helping him.

I thought about this. It makes no sense for Redcloak to kill his spy just so he won't reveal anything bad about the phylactery. Why would be Xykon (or, technically, Tsukiko) interested in a hobbo mook that helped Redcloak to recover the phylactery? And even they did, what could the spy tell? That Redcloak got the phylactery from the Resistance? That was what Redcloak said to Xykon anyway! Redcloak wouln't share his plan about the switch with the spy at any rate, that would be useless and dangerous. So I'm beginning to think that Redcloak's plan to dispose of his spy had nothing to do with the phylactery, and that there was another sinister motive...

[Mordae]

I thought about this. It makes no sense for Redcloak to kill his spy just so he won't reveal anything bad about the phylactery. Why would be Xykon (or, technically, Tsukiko) interested in a hobbo mook that helped Redcloak to recover the phylactery? And even they did, what could the spy tell? That Redcloak got the phylactery from the Resistance? That was what Redcloak said to Xykon anyway! Redcloak wouln't share his plan about the switch with the spy at any rate, that would be useless and dangerous. So I'm beginning to think that Redcloak's plan to dispose of his spy had nothing to do with the phylactery, and that there was another sinister motive...

You're over-thinking it. The best way for Redcloak to make sure he isn't caught in a lie is to kill anyone who might know ANYTHING about the recovery of the phylactery. Even if the information that individual knows isn't central to the switcheroo, if it contradicts any part of the story-as-told-by-Redcloak, Xykon will immediately become suspicious. By being meticulously thorough in his deception, Redcloak ensures that he is the only eyewitness account to the phylactery's journey. Hobgoblin who found it first? Dead, along with his entire team. Resistance who took it from them? Dead to the last man (except Niu!), including the polymorphed spies from both sides, using summoned/gated creatures no less. Tsukiko, who suspected, and her sentient wights? Consumed. While Redcloak does tell the dead blacksmith he's sorry it had to end like this, I'm pretty sure the elder's fate was sealed--albeit in a less painful manner than being drained by wights or whatever else Tsukiko did to him.

[Kornaki]

The problem with the spy is: Redcloak knew about the Resistance spy, and didn't kill him. Why? So the Resistance could capture the phylactery! Redcloak needed to have some private time with the phylactery to make the switch, and he couldn't be sure that would happen if the hobgoblins just took it back to the tower.

Maybe that's not how it played out, but it seems like a reasonable proposition. Why else wouldn't he have just crushed the Resistance a month ago?

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0825.html

The second and third panels here hint (but aren't conclusive) that it might have been suspiciously easy for the spy to operate (i.e. he might have been fed the information

[prism6691]

back to favorite lines....

"Thor asks tha his children be ready to smash Evil in tha face wit a big hammer, were'er it be found!"- Durkon

"But now I have skeleton dust in my eye!"- Elan

[Kish]

What makes you think that? Either the goblin was in on the Plan or all he knew was that he was making Redcloak a new holy symbol. Either way, no need to kill him. And Redcloak, especially post-epiphany, doesn't seem inclined to kill his own unless necessary.
So what's your explanation for Redcloak disintegrating the corpse rather than resurrecting the artisan?

The information that someone made an exact duplicate of Xykon's phylactery is information Redcloak considers it very, very "necessary" Xykon never hear a whiff of.

[ReaderAt2046]

So what's your explanation for Redcloak disintegrating the corpse rather than resurrecting the artisan?


*Blink* I never thought of that.

[Techmagss]

:roy: "A shiny silver piece to the first person that can explain why Elan is running around naked."
:vaarsuvius: "Giant moth attack?"
:belkar:"Maybe a bad guy cast Dispel Clothes?"

[Techmagss]

Here's another:
:elan: "Bluff, bluff, bluff the stupid Ogre!"

*le chase scene*

:elan: "I guess he rolled his sense motive."

[Sith_Happens]

:haley: "Incidentally, it's not at all weird that you worship a puppet, Roy really respects your opinions, and the answer to your question from the last panel of the previous strip is 'No, not at all.'"
:elan: "I knew it!"
–767 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0767.html), last panel

[Kurald Galain]

Apparently.

[Techmagss]

Comic 85, bottom right corner
:elan: The call... of Banjulhu!
:roy: Oh for the love of...

[Koo Rehtorb]

Thog: Thog wonders how Thog will cope with life outside jailhouse walls. Prison changed Thog.
Elan: We were only in there for forty minutes.
Thog: Prison changed Thog quickly.

[Techmagss]

:thog: "Nale tells Thog to 'not drop soap'."

[Bagger Baggins]

"You're the bravest man I've ever met." "And you're the slowest woman. Run!" Doubles as a CMOA for Thanh.

"Have you been good for the funny little psychopath?" Vision-Shojo, to Mr. Scruffy.

"Nobody hurts my dog!" Hinjo.

"I would never tamper with the fundamental forces of the universe while bored. That would be wrong." Vaarsuvius, although I think I'm misquoting it.

"Evil adventuring party. It happens. C'mon, I'll take you fishing." Horace.

[Umbra]

"Goodbye... Redcloak."

[Drakeburn]

"Guess what spell was prepared this morning?"

[Agnostik]

:haley: News flash, Roy: every quest we've done has been all about YOU. "I want to beat Xykon, I want the starmetal, I want to bump uglies with the paladin."
:miko: The proper term is "smite evil", not "bump uglies".

[JennTora]

Screw the Halfling!

:belkar: Not on your best day tusky.

:belkar: yeah and I'm gonna dance around and sing about how I represent the lollipop guild, come on let's try to keep our threats realistic, shall we? I mean if you said "I'm going to temporarily inconvenience you!" I'd think "Hey, she might mean it."

:haley: Wait how many magic pluses did the pickles have?

:haley: Dill Resistance.

Not really a line, but the Elanasaurus idea is awesome. I hope one day that V has to polymorph him into a dinosaur to get something done.

Also why didn't the character head thing work?

[ReaderAt2046]

"Hello, this is the giant illusory head of Lord Shojo speaking"-The giant illusory head of Lord Shojo.

"It's me, Haley Starshine":haley:
"Ian and Mia's girl?" Old Blind Pete
"That's right. I'm in trouble" :haley:
"Are you pregnant?" Pete.

[Proud Tortoise]

"SNEAK ATTACK, BITCH!"

"I may be in error, but I believe the appropriate proclamation is 'Sneak attack, bitch!'"

[willpell]

"But it's my sworn duty to seduce female bad guys. It's like in the bard charter or something." - Elan, to Haley

"I rest easy knowing that your revenge requires you to first outsmart someone's mount." - Vaarsuvius, to Belkar

"Tha's absurd. Lawful people do not do tha', Haley."
"Yeah, so let's forget the crazy talk and focus on what we know is actually true." -- Durkon and Roy.

[Kish]

Also why didn't the character head thing work?
Because you capitalized the names.

[JennTora]

Because you capitalized the names.

Curse my grammatically correct ways!

Which reminds me of another one...

THOG SMASHES!

Sir, watch your Grammar!

Why? What's wrong with it?

Absolutely nothing!

[Vargtass]

:roy: Did I stutter?

[Techmagss]

:xykon: I think I just had an evilgasm.

[Bakkan]

"Without your cowardly actions, I could not have gone where I needed to be, difficult though it was. However, should I learn of you treating any other person in this manner, I will gut you with my hands." - O'Chul (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0666.html)

[ti'esar]

:roy: Did I stutter?

All right, I'll admit it: I have no idea what the source of this line is.

[Kish]

All right, I'll admit it: I have no idea what the source of this line is.
On the Origins of PCs. Vaarsuvius has just paraphrased Roy's science-talk as "You want a Fireball to toast the undead you expect to fight?"

[Kalmarvho]

I've got a favourite dramatic and favourite comedic one.

:miko: ... I can live with that.

---

:haley: I guess we have to assume at this point Girard's Gate is functionally undefended.
:roy: Girard may have been a spiteful old curmudgeon, but he was still doing the world a great service. We're all a little less safe now that he and his heirs have passed.

:haley: ...
:roy: ...

:haley: You're going to make me search that skeleton's dry, crumbly assbone, aren't you?
:roy: Yep.

[grom the mighty]

'cure light wounds'
(attack)
'cure light wounds'
(attack)
'cure light wounds'
(ATTAAAACK)
.....'cure moderate wounds

I hate fighting clerics..........

[Kurald Galain]

All right, I'll admit it: I have no idea what the source of this line is.

OOPC, when Roy and Vaarsuvius first meet, Roy asks what V's skills are. V (of course) comes up with a long-winded speech with lots of verbose words explaining how he has mastered the laws of physics. Roy says he's hired. V says something like "you only hired me because I'm smart and you're not".

Roy then responds with a verbose and long-winded speech of how he needs a spontaneous exothermic reaction of at least the minimum combustion temperature of necrothermis. V just stares incredulously and asks "... you mean you want me to cast fireballls on the undead you expect to fight?"

:roy: Did I stutter?

[Koo Rehtorb]

:miko: "By the twelve gods and in the name of Lord Shojo, I demand to know: who removed the tag from this mattress?!?"

Shojo: "It appears... not everyone... agrees with your... analysis."

[Sehfeld]

well i figured we'd just wander around, kill some sentient creatures because they had green skin and fangs and we don't, and then take their stuff -belkar

in retrospect that "W.W.T.D." thing be ne'er really as applicable ta my situation as 'tis supposed ta be -durkon

and once again, probability proves itself willing to sneak into a back alley and service drama as would a copper-piece harlot- V

[Amaril]

"Pray to whatever weird gods you serve, horse!"

--Belkar Bitterleaf

[Sith_Happens]

:roy:: "THAT'S how I use my Intelligence score in combat, DUMBASS!!"

[ReaderAt2046]

"I should avoid casting any spells tonight, if only to give the laws of physics time to cry alone in the corner." :vaarsuvius:

"Well, there's friendly contact with an evil outsider... and then there's :smallwink: "friendly contact" with an evil outsider. Know what I mean?":sabine:

"She has that Monk class ability which lets you jump as far as you want, only for her, it applies to conclusions.":roy:

"Gods, they can teach you to detect Evil but not sarcasm?" Shojo.

"Oh sorry, I kind of got distracted after you said "three-way" :sabine:

[ReaderAt2046]

"Redcloak, I wouldn't go in there if I were you!":mitd:
"You are not me.":redcloak:
"I wouldn't go in there if I were me either. Which I'm pretty sure I am!":mitd:

[lio45]

I love this thread! It's just like going through an archive binge, except it's a lot less time-consuming and you only get the best parts. :D

[Xelbiuj]

:roy: "A shiny silver piece to the first person that can explain why Elan is running around naked."
:vaarsuvius: "Giant moth attack?"
:belkar:"Maybe a bad guy cast Dispel Clothes?"


^ So much better now that I have read SSDT.

Anyways;

"Ahhhh! It's hanging on me, get it off! Get it off!"

[Majiy]

"I prepared Explosive Runes this morning."

[Sedgewood]

Both from comic 409 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0409.html):

"Funny, I always figured I'd be killed by a paladin." - :belkar:

"I'll stand between any two murderers I wish, thanks." - Hinjo

[Guunshtaff]

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0451.html

To sound the retreat now would further dishonor the sacrifice of every hobgoblin that has died here.
I may not be able to change the fact that I ordered them to their deaths, but I can damn well make certain they weren't in vain.
Order every hobgoblin, zombie, ghoul, or whatever else we have to charge that breach in the wall, and not to stop until they can feel the ocean spray on their faces.
We're going to win this war NOW.

[Tannhaeuser]

“Evan’s Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion!!!”
“Wait, what?”

[dtilque]

From Role Rversal (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0590.html)

Awwww, man! I didn't know I was going to be the girl!


And for an entire strip of good lines: Plotting Something (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0763.html)

[Heksefatter]

My favourite comes from the prequel comic SOD:

"Goodbye...Redcloak."

That line was extremely powerful.



From the main comic it would be "Is yours always like this?" from Malack to V. For some reason I found the momentary sympathy between Malack and V encapsulated in that line hilarious.

[RedWarrior0]

If we're doing SOD, then this:


"You had it so easy when you were my age!"
"When I was your age, I had a paladin's katana sticking out of my bloody eye socket."

[Draz74]

Goblins: "Hi, we're here to kill everyone?"
:elan: OK! *bonk* *bonk*

:nale: Thog! This isn't working!
:thog: thog reluctantly forced to agree!

:vaarsuvius: I worship the ancient elven god of knowledge, keeper of secrets so mighty that even the smallest taste of them would shatter your sanity! My devotion to his arcane mysteries is absolute! I shall never renounce him! Never! Do you hear me? NEVER! NEVER!
:elan: I'll throw in a free coffee maker.
:vaarsuvius: Does it do espresso?
:elan: No.
:vaarsuvius: NEVER!

:xykon: Hey.
:vaarsuvius: That ... is considerably more resistance than I was expecting.
:durkon: Ayup.
:elan: So, uh ... run away?
:roy: Nope. Charge.
:belkar: *sniff* This is the happiest moment of my life.

:roy: Your approval fills me with shame.

:vaarsuvius: My vengeance shall be prolonged, diminutive cretin.

:belkar: Sorry, Roy. I just don't trust you enough to believe that you lied.

:vaarsuvius: Vomit. Now. ... And aim for the halfling.

:roy: Apparently, getting your ass kicked is now a part of this complete breakfast.

:roy: So, I've met someone who is everything I thought I wanted, and I find that I really just want to kick her in the head.
:durkon: Love is an epic-level challenge.

THUMP!
:belkar: Ahhhh ... there it is.

:belkar: Evenin'.
Shadowdancer: Evenin'.

:nale: Please explain why we're suddenly in such a hurry.
:sabine: Four words: Out of fudge ripple.
:thog: oh, little ice cream friends! thog delays boredom-driven rampage only for you!

:miko: Why soak me with rice wine? To humiliate me?
:belkar: Because halflings are good at throwing things other than daggers.
FWOOSH!
:belkar: It's as true today as when I started adventuring: "When in doubt, set something on fire."
:miko: AAARRH!

Loki: Dude, don't taunt the god-killing abomination.

Chef: "Halfling Drop Soup."
:belkar: Needs pepper.

:belkar: Roy's Spot and Listen checks are too low to watch us all of the time, you androgynous twit.
:vaarsuvius: Your doom shall be swift and silent -- like the owl.

:vaarsuvius: Gordium called -- they have a knot that you might want to take a look at.

:roy: Huh. What was I just talking about, again? I think it was important.
:vaarsuvius: I am ... uncertain.
:elan: Beats me.
:belkar: Ffft. Like I listen.

:thog: *sigh* thog fears he will never again know the majesty of the gumdrop mountains.
:nale: Can I get through just ONE foreboding monologue without the half-orc upstaging me? Geez!

ALL of 344. I don't even know where to start. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0344.html)

Yokyok: Hello. My name is Yokyok. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Shojo's Wizard: You know, I didn't NEED to be a wizard. It's not like I enjoy ferrying adventurers all over the place ... I coulda been a baker, you know. They said my cherry turnovers were the best they ever tasted. Bundt, bundt, bundt, bundt ...

:thog: not nale. not-nale. thog help nail not-nale, not nale. and thog knot not-nale while nale nail not-nale. nale, not not-nale, now nail not-nale by leaving not-nale, not nale, in jail.
*beat*
Guard: Pleading insanity, then?

:xykon: You might want to mention that at your next performance review. It might get you that raise you really want. Get it? A "raise"? Because you're dead? A "Raise Dead"? HA!
*beat*
:xykon: Meh. They can't all be winners, you know. Gotta save the A-material for the PCs.

:mitd: Aw, man! I lost twice. I suck.

:belkar: That was friggin' fantastic. I wish this was a democracy so I could vote for that guy.
:roy: Really? Because right now I feel like he's been too soft on crime. Specifically, yours.

:nale: The knowledge that the fate of the entire multiverse hinges on their every action must be a terrible burden, haunting them constantly.
:durkon: Who's up fer Parcheesi??
:roy: Sure.
:belkar: What the hell, OK.

:nale: If you see any of your allies, kill them and keep their magic items for yourself.
:belkar: You got it, boss.
:nale: While singing the complete score to "Meet Me In St. Louis."
...
:vaarsuvius: At least now I can get back to enjoying my glass of elven wine in peace and quiet, without being called on to intervene in someone else's problems.
:belkar: Clang, clang, clang goes the trolley!
:durkon: Git away from me, ye daft fool!
:belkar: Ring, ring, ring, goes the bell!
:vaarsuvius: *sigh*

:thog: thog wonders how thog will cope with life outside jailhouse walls. prison changed thog.
:elan: We were only in there for 40 minutes.
:thog: prison changed thog quickly.

EPISODE 394 TITLE: "Hell hath exactly as much fury"

:nale: Oh, yeah? So, what, you think you could have come up with something more clever than Nale did?
:vaarsuvius: Apparently.

... ok, that's the first 400. Enough time wasted for today.

[Reathin]

Thog's prison quotes were pretty spectacular.

"Thog not human ofal. Thog HALF-human ofal!"

Then the amazing "not nale, not-nale!" sequence, topped by the "what is ofal" zinger.

I'm not a huge Thog fan, but those were great.

I'm also pretty fond of "Disjunction", mostly for the context.

But I think the one line that made me fall apart laughing, as the best call back I've ever seen, was "guess what spell I cast before giving this to the bird".

[Agnostik]

And for an entire strip of good lines: Plotting Something (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0763.html)
My absolute favorite OOTS strip. It's brilliant.

[ReaderAt2046]

Some great lines from the newest comic:

:elan: "Fiddle, fiddle, fiddle, fiddle around with really complex stuff!"

:roy: "Can you disarm them? Without, you know, a hapless kobold to kill?"
:belkar: "If not, I think Nale has a spare I can get."

:roy: "We can't split the-I mean, we specifically named a book after this, for crying out loud!"
:elan: "Snips, Snails, and-"
:haley: "Not that one, honey."

[Umberhulk]

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing pixie dust."
-The Chief

[Gift Jeraff]

:thog: what is offal?

:xykon: So, Uncle Xykon, what's the moral of the story? A big pile of spells isn't enough when the other guy has a big pile of spells AND the strength to crush your windpipe with his bare phalanges. And they died happily ever after. The End.

:nale: After almost being killed by my cunningly clever and devilishly handsome twin brother, Nale, I find that I am looking at everything in a different light. Everything, including you, Haley. I don't know how I never noticed how beautiful you are before. It probably has something to do with my overpowering mental defects and my annoyingly childish persona.

*Major SoD Spoilers*
:roach:-I'll take a knish.

[Bulldog Psion]

Dang, you guys already hit all the high points! :smallbiggrin:

[CoffeeIncluded]

The whole ghost-martyr sequence. Sends a shiver down my spine every time.

[AcerbicOrb]

No, really? Think how testy I can get, and I'm only the "Empress of Blood" for a few days every month. - Haley

And, of course:

I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!

[Arkylos]

:haley:"Silence Haley's latent bisexuality."
:roy:"YOU!BROKE!MY!SWORD!"
:thog:"TALKY-MAN BROKE THOG'S TUSK!"
:vaarsuvius:"Guess what spell I cast before giving this to the bird."
Oracle:"Welcome to the village of Lickmyorangeballshalfling"
Tarquin:"If I win, I get to be a king. If I lose, I get to be a legend."
Tsukiko:"Why don't...you love...me?"
:xykon:"Follow the bouncing ball, children."
:vaarsuvius:"Paper beats rock!"
:vaarsuvius:"Mass Enlarge Person!"
:elan:"Deny. Deny. Deny. Deny the pychopathic egomaniac!"
:haley:"You'll excuse me, of course, if I just go fix the world while you rot!"
:roy:"Oh. Oh no. I wouldn't touch your skinny uptight ass with a standard-issue 10-ft. pole, you overbearing self-righteous bitch"
:roy:"THAT'S how I use my Intelligence score in combat, DUMBASS!"
:roy:"It's not a bug, it's a feature.
:durkon:"...weathercontrolweathercontrolweathercontrolweath ercontrolweather--"

And most importantly:
:belkar:"I'M A SEXY, SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!"

[ReaderAt2046]

Random hobgoblin: "Supreme Leader, I have that lampshade you requested."
:redcloak:"Just hang it anywhere".

[Thrillhouse]

:xykon:(When O-Chul takes his phylactery) Hey, what would all your paladin buddies say if they saw you picking pockets? You know, if I hadn't murdered them all.

"Humanoids. You think that just because my kind has stats for every stage of growth, it is perfectly acceptable to murder our children. Let us see how much XP your brood is worth, shall we? It will only take a few minutes. Who knows? Maybe I'll go all the way and skin your mate alive for a garment. Perhaps a hat."
--The Black Dragon from the Starmetal Cave

"Look at the fear in their eyes."
"Have they ever looked at you that way?"
"Will they ever look at you any other way now?"
-Ganonron, Haera, and Jephton(the soul splices)

[Gift Jeraff]

:redcloak: Normally, this sort of display is more my colleague's bailiwick...
...but your choice in decór forced me to summon my own interior decorators.
By which I mean they will be decorating mostly with your interiors.

:roy: No, no, see, this IS the alternate universe, I need to find my way back home to the real world.
Actually wait--never mind, stop looking.

[i6uuaq]

Why don't... ...you love... ...me. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0830.html)

[Solse]

In context, this is the best line ever: :haley: "I don't see any ... uh, any reason ... any reason why we can't just ... forget it ever ... what are you ..."
When it comes to humor, this entire strip is hilarious: http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0511.html

[Kurald Galain]

When it comes to humor, this entire strip is hilarious: http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0511.html

Yes. And don't forget the callback here (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0824.html)!

[Reathin]

In Start of Darkness, I've extremely fond of one of Xykon's monologues. Possibly paraphrased:

"Only two things matter. Force, in as great a concentration as you can muster, and style. And in a pinch, style can slide. In any battle, there's always a level of force against which no tactics or strategies can succeed."

The rest of the rant I don't care too much about, mostly because I like Wizards far more than I like Sorcerers. Still, one of his more awesome moments.

[Amaril]

"Look, O-chul, I have two tasks that need to be completed. One involves three prisoners whose very existence is now a state secret. The other involves cleaning up what came out of my cat's butt this morning."

I wish there was a Shojo smiley on this thing.