[3.P] Tips for playing with your girlfriend

[Darius Kane]

Well, some time ago I got myself a girlfriend. She's great, but the awesome thing about her is that she's interested in playing RPGs. I'm teaching her the rules and for that purpose we are going to be playing a solo game for now (and because it's fun and there's not really anyone who we could play with, other than pbp). I saw a thread about playing one-on-one, but I thought that playing 3.P with a girlfriend might be a little more specific, so I made this new thread. Other than general advice I also would like to hear some suggestions for adventures especially suitable for couples, like a romantic theme or something. We're not immature kids, so 18+ stuff is okay (well, more than okay :P).

[Eonir]

Play a high social game with plenty of intrigue. A lot like Romeo and Juliet, but a lot less whining and a lot more fireballs.

Play classes that synergize well with each other that make you have to work together to solve encounters.

[Darius Kane]

Play classes that synergize well with each other that make you have to work together to solve encounters.
I'm the DM. Unless you're suggesting that I'd play a DMPC, I don't see how I could do that.

[Simba]

Play a DMPC if you like. Just don't let her do things that would not work normally. Make it clear from the beginning that even though she is your girlfriend the normal rules still apply to her character. It avoids trouble later on if she joins a group with you. Basically, never ever make her character an exception to the rules. Bad idea!

[panaikhan]

I second the comment about rules.
Make perfectly clear it is a game, and there can be losers. I have seen people lose friends over D&D because they lost favorite characters - the fact she is your gf only makes this issue more acute.
Instead of only one character, let her have two or three - simple core classes, almost one-dimentional if needs be, just to introduce her to the rules.

-edit-

If she won't "handle" controlling multiple characters, make it a small pool of characters that she can choose from between 'adventures'. The idea is to build in a little detachment from the character, should the worst happen to them.

[Pilo]

Most of the girls I played with would rather smash things than find out plots.
I think you should try a 2-part adventure, one part is an investigation to find a dungeon (like who the hell kidnapped the merchant son (which has to be weak and whining)), second part a classic door, monster, loot (get to the boy and save him from the evil monsters that keep him against his will and find out who is the rival merchant league who plot that, which may lead to a politic blackmail part).

[Spuddles]

Most of the girls I played with would rather smash things than find out plots.

Similar experiences. It's actually pretty funny. Me and my gf are gaming with guys in their mid 30s to mid 50s- your typical nerdy looking fellows and grognards. We're all really getting into RP and giving speeches and helping the poor, except for the gf. She just wants to kill and loot and watch the world burn.

[Arcanist]

Most of the girls I played with would rather smash things than find out plots.

My girlfriend is all about plot and never about violence. She is soooo non-violent when I run my games that I actually had to use the Giant's fix for Diplomacy :smallannoyed:

I swear, I have to think up an interesting plots and characters for her to interact with everytime we play otherwise we have to watch a romance movie... If I see "How to lose a guy in 10 days" one more time I might kill someone :smallannoyed:

[Andreaz]

Discover what she wants to play. Play that.
Whoever said "start with intrigue" is in for a surprise when she stabs the oracle in the face the third time she asks where the bandits went and he replies "look within the heart of the horizon" or something.

She shouldn't get special treatment over the rest of the group, nor should she expect it(that's actually worse than getting it).

[Mephibosheth]

This thread (http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75882/19905354/Lessons_from_DMing_with_my_GF), in addition to being a great read, might have some helpful tips for you.

[Weimann]

Simple solution. Ask her.

The easiest way for you to make a game she'll enjoy is to ask her what she wants to play. I don't mean to have her provide a synopsis for the plot, but do ask what kinds of themes she enjoys, what kind of character she'd like to play, if she's interested in a high drama or comedy tone, grimdark or idealistic settings an similar.

If you already know what setting or part of a setting you'll be using, let her read it; she might find somehting that hooks her interest. That also makes it easier for her to get her own visions of what she wants to do in a game, since she otherwise will only know about the part of it that you have described to her (if you want to really incentivise her to make her own way, I tend to advocate the use of a Motivation mechanic: let her define a suitably difficult and interesting goal that she personalyl wants to aspire to, and when she manages, give her a level; this will make her feel that adhereing to her own interests helps her progression).

Sidenote: this method works wonders for biggers and less intimate groups as well.

[ThiagoMartell]

Play Breaking The Ice :smallamused:

[DigoDragon]

My wife often plays in my D&D games. As long as I treat her with the same rules as I treat everyone else, we're all good.

[limejuicepowder]

As an experienced one-on-one player (with my gf, mostly playing on the phone), I highly recommend a DM PC. This is for a couple reasons -

1) She's a new player. You're going to be extremely glad 15 minutes in that you have a character to lend advice and guidance to her in-game when she misses obvious things like searching rooms and looting. I'm exaggerating slightly, but i think you get my point.

2) It'll prepare her to work in a group should you ever play with other people. There's a difference between teaming up with some NPC for one quest and long-term adventuring with the same person.

3) I think it's a lot more fun as the DM to have a character in the mix when there's only 1 PC. Detective work, combat planning, and back story conversations become real things rather than the PC just talking to themselves or some throw away plot device NPC.

You also don't have to make it super obvious your going to control a "PC" in-game. Have her meet a seemingly ordinary NPC early on, have them team up, and try not to get the guy killed.

Edit: I forgot to give plot advice.

If she's more interested in action, how bout you do a bonnie and clyde, micky and mallory type plot? Two characters that are hopelessly in love but are also tearing a path of chaos and destruction across the unsuspecting town/city/country of where ever.

Start out small-time, maybe taking jobs from a local thieve's guild or mob boss. After getting some experience and making a bit of a name for themselves (within the organization of course), they get wind of a major treasure or job that's about to go down. They double cross their previous employer and are now on the run (perfect use of a DMPC right there - gentle suggestions of what to do next).

[Knaight]

Play Breaking The Ice :smallamused:

I second this notion.

[O.L.Scudmungus]

You stay away from my girlfriend!

..

Ok, fine. One tip:

Bring Prada.


:xykon: