AVB - The Flatulent One

[Rizban]

This private thread is for Shmee and GM(s) only.

Two men have shot glasses in a row in front of them. They take turns trying to bounce a gold piece off the table and into the other's drinks. Anytime one goes in, he has to drink it and then spit out the gold piece.

[Shmee]

Boldar stumbles over to the table and watches as the two men play their drinking game. In between one of the rounds he approaches them "This seems like a fun game. Who's winning?" he asks them.

[Rizban]

The two, in unison, say "ME!"

[Shmee]

Bodar nods, clearly impressed "You mean this is a game were everyone wins, and no one loses? You city folks never cease to amaze me! Praise be the Barrel Blesser, I think I'm going to like this place."

He offers his hand to the two as he introduces himself "Bodar of the Boulderbutt Clan... but you can call me Beggar Bo. I'm here to spread the word of Ummor... so what better place to start than the place where Ummor spreads his many blessings!"

[Rizban]

They look at you kind of oddly, shake your hand, and continue their game.

[Shmee]

As the two resume their drinking game, the Dwarf continues "You two seem to enjoy the drink. As I know nothing about this city, you wouldn't mind telling me about which establishments are nice and fancy, and which places attract the more rowdy type?"

[Lokio]

Hi Shmee, my name is Lokio. I'm a former DM for AvB. Rizban has asked me to handle parts of your scene. :)

The two men pause, look at each other, and then two things happen. One takes his shot and sinks a gold piece with a "HAH!" and the other says, "Well, you sees, we're a bit busy with a game..."

"...but if buy us both another line of shots, no doubt we can talk about the fine establishments in Aldhaven, right, Fipps?"

The guy who had made the shot grinned broadly, showing a couple of missing teeth around his stubbly face. "You betcha."

The unnamed gentleman tosses back the shot, spits out the gold piece and tosses it directly into Fipps' next shot glass. Then both look up at you.

[Shmee]

OOC
Hi Lokio. Lets see where we will take this whole thing. Just a heads up, this is my first time playing 3.5E, so you'll have to tell me exactly what I need to roll.


Boldar smiles widely back at the pair, showing his rotten teeth from years of alcohol abuse "Words of wisdom: You never really know someone until you get ridiculously drunk with them... and by Ummor do I want to get to know you two." He says smacking his lips at the shots lined up at the table.

"Unfortunately... I am called Beggar Bo for a reason. But listen here... why don't we make things interesting? I came to this city with only two things... these dirty rags I call clothes, and this one item I picked up in my adventures. It has served me well through and I cherish it as if it was a treasure. So how about this? Ol Beggar Bo will match the both of you... drink for drink. Who ever can't drink anymore is out. If I win... you tell me what I want to know... you win? You take my cherished item. In the end? Everyone gets drunk and Ummor is praised!"

[Lokio]

The talked blinked twice, then motioned at Beggar Bo. "What's this cherished item of yours, then? Show us?"

The other one, Fipps, looked pretty interested.

[Shmee]

Bodar cringes "Shhhhhhh! Not so loud! You want everyone in here to know?" He says throwing suspicious glances all around. "I don't want other eyes to see it... not in here at least. I've heard about how vicious some city folks can be... last thing I want is to get robbed. Surly you can understand?"

[Lokio]

The guys laughed and motioned to the waitress. "THREE MORE LINES!" they ordered, ready to get it done.

Drinks were placed before the three men shortly thereafter, Bo's half-drunken friends clearly starting at a disadvantage against the dwarf.

"Ready?" Fipps asked.

You may drink as many drinks as your Constitution bonus freely without needing Fortitude saves. How many is that?

[Shmee]

Sounds fair enough to me. My character has 4 Constitution bonus.

As the drinks arrive Bodar rubs his hands in glee "At last! At last!" He lifts his shot glass to the other two and yells out loud "My friends! May Ummor bless us, so that our hangover be mild come morning! But until then? Bottoms up!" Once the other two knock their drinks back, Bodar will do the same, and even go as far as lick the inside of the glass.

[Lokio]

Each begin to drink... (DC10)

[roll0]
[roll1]
[roll2]
[roll3]

[roll4]
[roll5]
[roll6]
[roll7]

And as Fipps tossed back his first, he began to sway... and hit the ground, curling up in a ball on the wooden floor. The unnamed man seems to be doing just fine.

"Hahahah! Let's do this!" he chuckles.

Now that you've gone through your freebies, DC 10 fortitude saves henceforth. Each drink after the first is -1 to the fortitude save. If you fail, you pass out. Your dwarven fort save bonus for poisons applies.

[Shmee]

Bodar picks up another shot glass and raises it towards his opponent "You're a tough one, I'll give you that! Didn't catch your name, cause you never threw it!" he says laughing as he knocks back down another one.

[roll0]

[Shmee]

OOC
Out of curiosity, the shot glasses, what are they made out of? Glass/Ceramic/Wood?

[Lokio]

He chuckles. "I do my best, dwarf!" with a booming laugh. "My name is Higgins McCoy, and I am the best drinker in this city!"

He might well be. You have no idea how many he had before you arrived.

But as he took his next shot, he swayed... then passed out on his face, spilling the other glasses all over the table. You are victorious!

[roll0]

[Shmee]

Bodar laughs louder at Higgins' boast "What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy! But he's already a loser so..." its at that moment that he realizes that Higgins had passed out

"You out already? Well then... blessed be Ummor! I won! Now then perhaps you two can tell me what I want to... er....know?" Its then that Bodar realizes the obvious "Well... I suppose you won't be doing much talking after all..." he looks around the table. If he finds the coins with which Fipps and Higgins were playing their games with, he will collect them, all the while mourning over the alcohol that was spilled as Higgins collapsed.

Still smacking his lips, Bodar considers for a few moments what to do next, before calling over one of the serving girls "Alright sweetheart? Do a nice one for me... and bring me three bottles... er... I'll have one bottle of wine, one bottle of whiskey... nothing too fancy mind you... and the third bottle... what ever you recommend... just make sure it has a nice kick to it. You can put it on my friend's tabs... as its their treat. Also sweetheart? You mind getting a room for my two friends over here? Poor Fips and Higgins can't hold their liquor and I don't know where they live, and I can't just leave them here on your floor! Once again, nothing too fancy. If you help me drag them up, you might get something for your trouble."

[Lokio]

The waitress says, "I'm not going to put anything on their tabs, but... there looks to be plenty of alcohol left..." She points to the various shot glasses that weren't spilled still on the table.

A couple of the men in the joint chuckle at the downed guys, but don't seem particularly interested in helping.

Fipps farts.

Nice.

[Shmee]

The Dwarf is disappointed but nods at the serving girl "Good point! It would be a darn shame if such good drink be wasted!" Bodar starts to look for an empty bottle. He doesn't mind if its already been used, or even if he picks it up from the floor. If he does manage to get his hands on one, Bodar will pour all the remaining shots into the bottle for later. "Now then... about that room. Seems I'm going to have to carry my friends up myself." He goes over to try and pick up which ever of the two drunkards looked in the worst state first.

[Rizban]

Fipps is obviously in worse condition.

The barkeep just looks at you when you approach the bar with a passed out man slung over your shoulder. He seems unfazed by the sight.

[Shmee]

Bodar is muttering to himself as he carries Fipps over his shoulder, and using the branch he carries around to help him walk more stable. When he reaches the barman he says "My friends will be needing a room for the night. They aren't in a position to complain about luxury, so they'll be having what ever is the cheapest. "

[Rizban]

"Floor two, room 201. Just toss him in. We'll collect the fee in the morning."

[Shmee]

"Floor 201, room 2... er... no wait. Floor 2, room 201... go it! I'll be right back to collect the other off your fine floor!" Bodar climbs up the stairs carrying Fipps with him. Upon entering the room, he will leave the unconscious man on the bed. Bodar strokes his beard for a few moments before muttering to himself "Well... I better make sure he has money to pay for this room!" Bodar begins to search Fipps to see if he has money on him.

[Rizban]

The room is apparently rather large and has about twenty rough cots laid out in it. There are no other furnishings. Three other drunkards are already passed out on cots of their own.

Searching his person, you find [roll0] gold.

[Shmee]

Bodar takes the money and says "Don't worry my good friend... I'll take care of the payment for you. Ummor would punish me if I just left you. Its the least I can do for such a good sport..." and stumbling down walks to the barman and asks "Excuse me... how much will my friend's beds cost for the night?"


Does Bodar see the bizarre sight of two tables attacking an Orc?

[Rizban]

Yes, he does."Two gold each, plus a cleaning fee if they vomit."

[Shmee]

Having finished heckling the Half-Orc, Bodar goes back upstairs easily carrying Higgins over his shoulders. He'll dump him in a cot next to Fipps if possible, and search Higgins' pockets for money and anything valuable.

[Rizban]

Higgins has [roll0] gold on him.

[Shmee]

Bodar takes 10 of the gold coins, and places them in his pocket as his fee for helping these two drunkards, leaving Higgins with 9. He also goes over to Fipps and places 2 gold coins back. "I'm such a good person!" he says to himself mostly.

As he walks out of the room he counts how much money he has "Not bad... got me a few coins, a bottle of booze... and I got drunk as well!" he says cackling as he makes his way back down to the inn keeper. He places 2 coins "And this is for my other friend. They'll be paying for anything extra."

"By the way, you wouldn't happen to need some extra muscle to keep the rowdy folks in line? Or maybe somewhere else where they might be looking to hire?"

[Rizban]

"No. We've got things handled here."

He seems to consider a moment before producing a small golden trinket that looks like beer mug about two centimeters tall.

"Take this and speak to the two guards in the back, by the double doors. Give them this token and tell 'em 'Drunk duck and spinning bears.'"

[Shmee]

Bodar takes the trinket and looks at it for a few moments, before putting it away. "I might very well do that! Thank you mightily! Here's for your trouble..." he flips a gold coin to the innkeeper. The Dwarf will then make his way to the two guards, first eying looking at the double door. Once he has their attention, Bodar produces the tiny trinket and says "Er.... drunk duck and... spinning bears." at least Bodar thinks he got it right.

[Rizban]

They take the trinket from you and open the door, closing them behind you if you pass through.

[Shmee]

Once the door is open, Bodar will stumble through. He looks around to see were he is, and if there is anything out of the ordinary.

[Rizban]

On the other side is a dwarf sitting at a desk with a pile of papers strewn throughout. He glances up as you enter and says, "Oh, another one? Sign this and please don't get beer stains on my paperwork." He pushes a paper your direction.

The walls are bare stone, and behind him is a black door made of iron.

[Shmee]

Taking the paper Bodar says "There are two things that a man should place with great care... I won't mention what the first one is, but the second one is his signature. Just give me a moment..." he then tries to read what this paper is about.

[Rizban]

You find that the paper is a standard non-disclosure agreement requiring the undersigned and all associated entities within his party that are so beholden to him to agree not to discuss anything seen in the rooms beyond or discuss the nature of the jobs found within, except the job that the person ends up taking then only with the person who hired him for it. Convoluted legal language fills the contract tying up loopholes and leaving little room for interpretation to finagle your way out. One odd passage mentions something about a needle mine, but the specifics are hard to parse out without legal training.

[Shmee]

After trying a few times to understand the legal jargon and failing, scratches his head and gives up. Taking a quill signs his name on the paper and hands it back to the man.

[Rizban]

The dwarf thanks him, and waves him on through the black door.

On the other side is a well groomed halfling standing between two spiral staircases. "Employer or Employee?" he asks.

[Shmee]

Bodar gives a polite but awkward bow to the Halfling "Well... considering that I hope to get paid eventually... I'd say the second choice."

[Rizban]

"Right this way then."

He cheerfully takes you up the left-hand staircase. He opens the door at the top and ushers you on through.

On the other side are long hallways with labels describing the sort of jobs offered along that hall.

[Shmee]

Bodar thanks the Halfling and starts to wander around looking at the different jobs being offered and trying to decide which one to take.

[Rizban]

The hall quickly splits into three. The first is labeled "Active," the second is labeled "Passive," and the third is labeled "Informative."

[Shmee]

Scratching his head Bodar utilizes an ancient technique used for situations just like this one "Eenie... meenie... minee... mo..." his finger ending on labeled "Passive". Bodar shrugs and mumbles "So be it..." and stumbles through that corridor.

[Rizban]

He follows the "Passive" corridor. It appears that most of these signs are recruiting for guard work of various kinds. Bodyguards, shop guards, caravan guards, dog sitters, and the like.

[Shmee]

Bodar considers his choices for a few minutes. As its his purpose to set up his own pub, he might as well see first hand how shops are run. Therefore he looks specifically at jobs regarding shop guards.

[Rizban]

The hall further divides. It seems to be organized according to type of business: Mercantile, Tavern/Inn, Guild-related, and Warehouse/Storage.

[Shmee]

This one seemed like a simple choice at least. The Dwarf stumbles down the corridor which is labeled "Tavern/Inn".

[Rizban]

He finds [roll0] doors in this hallway.

[Shmee]

Giving a sigh Bodar once again uses his ancient technique to pick the best choice. His finger ends up on door number [roll0] which he stumbles through.

[Rizban]

Sorry! It never showed that you posted. Did you still want to play?

[Shmee]

Its ok. Sometimes glitches in the system happens. I'm still in.

[Rizban]

The door opens easily. Inside is a bare white room. The only change from the endless white is a black stone set in the center of the ceiling. "Name?" a female voice says from the stone.

[Shmee]

The Dwarf looks at the stone seemingly talking to him. He hadn't had that much to drink... yet. "You can call me Beggar Bo... and who may you be?"

[Rizban]

"What sort of talents do you bring with you? Mere strength is not what's needed here."

[Shmee]

"Well... lets see... only a god could ever out-drink me... I can spew off some nonsense and make it sounds like wise proverbs. Oh yeah... got my own special brew of grog, and I am pretty good at convincing people to back off by just standing next to them and staring them down. Should I go on?"

[Rizban]

"I do not believe that those kinds of talents are what is necessary in an efficient guard and bouncer. Unless you have more to offer, I would ask you to seek a different door."

[Shmee]

The Dwarf shrugs and says "Well you see, I want to eventually run my own tavern. However I know near nothing when it comes to how a tavern works... except of course that you serve delicious booze. So I figured... why not work in one and see what I can learn? All I ask is half of a fair chance. If you don't like me... feel free to kick me out when ever."

[Rizban]

The voice is silent for a moment as you stand there. Just as you turn to leave, it speaks again.

"A small demonstration of your claims, if you please, to prove you are not boasting foundlessly."

[Shmee]

"Well... if you want me to prove my claims... I suppose I could do that. How do you want me to prove myself? You want to see how much I can drink? Or perhaps I can show you my moves? Either way works for me."

[Rizban]

Sorry for the delay. I've been dealing with a lot of personal stuff this past week."Drinking is not required. Demonstration of your techniques is appreciated."

[Shmee]

Its alright, I've been busy as well.

I'm not sure what type of die I need to roll.


Bodar flashes a grin "That's were you're wrong! One is inseparable with the other... let me show you..." with that, he Dwarf takes the bottle of vile liquid he had gathered from his drinking game, and starts drinking from it. Giving a loud belch he begins doing a basic set of punches and kicks.

[Rizban]

"Hmm... anything more than basic strikes?"

[Shmee]

"I could show you a more advanced set or moves if you want... but how can you judge my strength when I only hit the empty air? Put me up against well... something... even a wall will do."

[Rizban]

"Empty air is sufficient for this exercise. Improvise."