[3.5] Martial Discipline: Entropy Dynamo College

[jiriku]

This school is intended to accompany the machinist (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=262484) class, although naturally it can be adapted for other uses.

Designer's Note:
Experienced ToB homebrewers, I am hoping for your help here! These are my first homebrew martial disciplines, and doubtless will be in need of some polish and fine-tuning. Please lend me your expertise.


ENTROPY DYNAMO


http://i846.photobucket.com/albums/ab24/gallopinggiraffes/Machinist/dynamo.jpg

Existence is a balance between energy and entropy. Students of the Entropy Dynamo College learn to manipulate the force of entropy, weakening their foes and frustrating their efforts, and to use magic to power their machines with electrical energy. Entropy dynamo maneuvers allow the student to harm and weaken foes at a distance or charge their melee attacks with magical energy.

Knowledge (architecture and engineering) is the key skill for the Entropy Dynamo College. The associated weapons for Entropy Dynamo are the power gauntlet and powered rapier. Entropy Dynamo maneuvers are supernatural abilities unless otherwise stated.

Entropy Dynamo maneuvers are usable only by machinists unless you have the Martial Study feat. To initiate an Entropy Dynamo maneuver, you must have access to a [magitech] power source, most commonly a magitech armor or shield. Your DM may introduce other magitech power sources during play.

LIST OF MANEUVERS
Level 1

Dynamic Blade (boost) – magitech weapons deal +1d6 electricity damage + 1/initiator level
Lightning Mote (strike) – deal electricity damage to single target at range
Lightning Shield (stance) – gain AC bonus and electricity resistance
Level 2

Entropic Dynamo (boost) - inflict [sickened] effect when you deal electricity damage
Entropic Retort (counter) – Inflict 4d6 damage and [fatigued] condition on foe who strikes you
Thundering Hammer (strike) – gain +6 strength bonus with a single attack
Level 3

Entropic Feedback (stance) – gain temp hp when you deal negative energy damage
Entropic Shackle (boost) – inflict vulnerability when you deal energy damage
Lightning Bolt (strike) – deal electricity damage in a line
Lightning Cloak (stance) – Aura deals electricity damage to adjacent foes
Null-Point Barrier (counter) – barrier absorbs damage
Level 4

Crackling Blade (boost) – magitech weapons deal +2d6 electricity damage + 1/initiator level
Electrocution (strike) – channeled ranged attack deals damage while you concentrate
Mandala of Entropy (strike) – Area inflicts negative energy damage on foes
Strike of Decay (strike) – strike inflicts negative levels
Level 5

Creative Destruction (strike) – channeled cone hurts foes and heals allies while you concentrate
Entropic Rebuke (counter) – damage and perhaps exhaust foe who strikes you
Mighty Thundering Hammer (strike) – gain +10 strength bonus with a single attack
Level 6

Electric Spike (strike) – channeled ranged attack stuns, deals damage while you concentrate
Mandala of Annihilation (strike) – Area fatigues, inflicts negative energy damage on foes
Reflective barrier (counter) – barrier absorbs damage, reflects some onto attacker
Level 7

Chain Lightning (strike) – deal electricity damage to several targets at range
Entropic Castigation (counter) – damage and perhaps kill foe who strikes you
Shocking Blade (boost) – magitech weapons deal +3d6 electricity damage + 1/initiator level
Level 8

Dynamic Charge (boost) – Stun foes or heal allies when you deal electricity damage
Entropic Aura (stance) – Exit stance to force reroll within 30 feet
Null-Point Barrier Field (counter) – barrier absorbs damage for you and allies within 30 ft.
Level 9

Entropic Sphere (strike) – channeled sphere damages foes while you concentrate

[jiriku]

MANEUVER DESCRIPTIONS
CHAIN LIGHTNING
Entropy Dynamo (Strike) [Electricity]
Level: Machinist 7
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: 60 ft.
Targets: One primary target, plus up to one secondary target/level (each of which must be within 30 ft. of the primary target)
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Reflex half

With a thunderous report that leaves the scent of ozone and burning metal in the air, you strike down your foes with lightning.

This maneuver creates an electrical discharge that begins as a single stroke commencing from your fingertips. Unlike lightning bolt, chain lightning strikes one object or creature initially, then arcs to other targets. The bolt deals 1d6 points of electricity damage per initiator level to the primary target. After it strikes, lightning can arc to a number of secondary targets up to your initiator level. The secondary bolts each strike one target and deal half as much damage as the primary bolt. You choose secondary targets as you like, but they must all be within 30 feet of the primary target, and no target can be struck more than once.

CRACKLING BLADE
Entropy Dynamo (Boost) [Electricity]
Level: Machinist 4
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: End of turn

Your weapon crackles with lightning as you strike at your foe.

Depressing a switch or trigger on your equipment unleashes a jolt of electricity. When you initiate this maneuver, lightning crackles over the surface of your melee weapon. For the rest of your turn, your melee attacks deal an extra 2d6 points of [electricity] damage + 1 point per initiator level.

CREATIVE DESTRUCTION
Entropy Dynamo (Strike) [Electricity]
Level: Machinist 5
Prerequisite: 2 Entropy Dynamo maneuvers
Initiation Action: varies
Range: varies
Effect: varies
Duration: varies
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates or Will negates (harmless)

An upright mandala appears. You channel energy into it, causing it to swell and crackle with power. When you have poured enough energy into the mandala, you allow it to open, filling a cone between your hand and the mandala with unpredictable energies.

This maneuver conjures a cone of chaotic energies that drains foes while healing your allies. The maneuver’s strength depends on the amount of time you spend channeling energy into it.

If you initiate this maneuver as a swift action, your opponents are [fatigued] and your allies are healed for 5 points of damage in a 15-ft cone.
If you initiate this maneuver as a standard action, your opponents are [fatigued] and take 1d4 points of [negative energy] damage per two initiator levels, and your allies are healed for 5 + damage dealt in a 30-ft cone.
If you initiate this maneuver as a full-round action, your opponents are [exhausted] and take 1d4 points of [negative energy] damage per two initiator levels, and your allies are healed for 10 + damage dealt in a 30-ft cone.
If you spend 2 rounds initiating this maneuver, your opponents are [exhausted] and take 1d8 points of [negative energy] damage per two initiator levels, and your allies are healed for 10 + damage dealt in a 60-ft cone.

You can choose to continue concentrating on the maneuver after you have initiated; this requires a standard action each round. Your target takes damage again (and allies are healed again) on the beginning of your turn for each round that you concentrate, but this maneuver will not cause a [fatigued] target’s condition to escalate to [exhausted]. The saving throw DC for this maneuver is 15 + your Intelligence modifier.

You do not need to declare ahead of time how long you want to spend initiating the maneuver. When you begin initiating the maneuver, you decide that you are finished initiating after the appropriate time has passed. If you are distracted while initiating or concentrating on this maneuver, you must make a Concentration check against the distraction’s DC (see Player’s Handbook 69 – 70) or you lose the maneuver.

DYNAMIC BLADE
Entropy Dynamo (Boost) [Electricity]
Level: Machinist 1
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: End of turn

Your weapon crackles with static energy as you strike at your foe.

Depressing a switch or trigger on your equipment unleashes a jolt of electricity. When you initiate this maneuver, lightning crackles over the surface of your melee weapon. For the rest of your turn, your melee attacks deal an extra 1d6 points of [electricity] damage + 1 point per initiator level.

DYNAMIC CHARGE
Entropy Dynamo (Boost)
Level: Machinist 8
Prerequisite: 3 Entropy Dynamo maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: End of turn

You induce a cascading overload in your armor’s generators, suffusing it with dynamic potential.

Intentionally overloading the power coils of your equipment is dangerous if done for more than a few seconds, but the increased power suffuses your electrical attacks with supernatural energy. Whenever you deal [electricity] damage this round, your opponent must make a Fortitude save or be [sickened] by the pain for 1 round. The save DC is equal to the attack’s normal save DC, if it has one, or 18 + your Intelligence modifier, if it does not have a save DC. When your effects would deal [electricity] damage to an ally this round, the ally is healed for that much instead of taking damage.

ELECTRIC SPIKE
Entropy Dynamo (Strike) [Electricity]
Level: Machinist 6
Prerequisite: 2 Entropy Dynamo maneuvers
Initiation Action: varies
Range: varies
Target: One creature or object
Duration: varies
Saving Throw: Reflex half and Will negates

A scintillating ball of lightning appears between your hands. You channel energy into it, causing it to swell and seethe with power. When you have poured enough energy into the ball, you sent it flying at your foe.

This maneuver creates a bolt of electrical energy to blast one of your foes. The maneuver’s strength depends on the amount of time you spend channeling energy into it.

If you initiate this maneuver as a swift action, it deals 1d4 points of [electricity] damage per two initiator levels to a target within 30 feet, and the target is [stunned] for 1 round.
If you initiate this maneuver as a standard action, it deals 1d6 points of [electricity] damage per initiator level to a target within 60 feet, and the target is [stunned] for 1 round.
If you initiate this maneuver as a full-round action, it deals 1d8 points of [electricity] damage per initiator level to a target within 60 feet, and the target is [stunned] for 1 round.
If you spend 2 rounds initiating this maneuver, it deals 1d10 points of [electricity] damage per initiator level to a target within 120 feet, and the target is [stunned] for 1 round.

You can choose to continue concentrating on the maneuver after you have initiated; this requires a standard action each round. Your target takes damage and is [stunned] again at the beginning of your turn (and is entitled to a saving throw) for each round that you concentrate. Each time, the victim can attempt a Reflex save to reduce the damage and a Will save to negate the [stunned] condition. The saving throw DC for this maneuver is 16 + your Intelligence modifier.

You do not need to declare ahead of time how long you want to spend initiating the maneuver. When you begin initiating the maneuver, you decide that you are finished initiating after the appropriate time has passed. If you are distracted while initiating or concentrating on this maneuver, you must make a Concentration check against the distraction’s DC (see Player’s Handbook 69 – 70) or you lose the maneuver. The maneuver also ends if your target moves out of range.

ELECTROCUTION
Entropy Dynamo (Strike) [Electricity]
Level: Machinist 4
Prerequisite: 1 Entropy Dynamo maneuver
Initiation Action: varies
Range: varies
Target: One creature or object
Duration: varies
Saving Throw: Reflex half

A scintillating ball of lightning appears between your hands. You channel energy into it, causing it to swell and seethe with power. When you have poured enough energy into the ball, you sent it flying at your foe.

This maneuver creates a bolt of electrical energy to blast one of your foes. The maneuver’s strength depends on the amount of time you spend channeling energy into it.

If you initiate this maneuver as a swift action, it deals 1d4 points of [electricity] damage per two initiator levels to a target within 30 feet.
If you initiate this maneuver as a standard action, it deals 1d6 points of [electricity] damage per initiator level to a target within 60 feet.
If you initiate this maneuver as a full-round action, it deals 1d8 points of [electricity] damage per initiator level to a target within 60 feet.
If you spend 2 rounds initiating this maneuver, it deals 1d10 points of [electricity] damage per initiator level to a target within 120 feet.

You can choose to continue concentrating on the maneuver after you have initiated; this requires a standard action each round. Your target takes damage again at the beginning of your turn (and is entitled to a saving throw) for each round that you concentrate. The saving throw DC for this maneuver is 14 + your Intelligence modifier.

You do not need to declare ahead of time how long you want to spend initiating the maneuver. When you begin initiating the maneuver, you decide that you are finished initiating after the appropriate time has passed. If you are distracted while initiating or concentrating on this maneuver, you must make a Concentration check against the distraction’s DC (see Player’s Handbook 69 – 70) or you lose the maneuver. The maneuver also ends if your target moves out of range.

ENTROPIC AURA
Entropy Dynamo (Stance) [Electricity]
Level: Machinist 8
Prerequisite: 2 Entropy Dynamo maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Stance

The dynamo within your armor or shield fizzes and pops, a whirling mass of entropy waiting to be directed and released.

You are protected by an aura of entropic potential that brings misfortune and ruin to your foes. Whenever an opponent within 30 feet makes a damage roll, or makes a successful attack roll, saving throw, skill check, or ability check, you may exit this stance to force a reroll. This does not require an action, and can be done at any time, even when it is not your turn.

ENTROPIC CASTIGATION
Entropy Dynamo (Counter) [negative energy]
Level: Machinist 7
Prerequisite: Three Entropy Dynamo maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 immediate action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Instantaneous and 1 round
Saving Throw: None and Fortitude partial

Accumulators in your armor harness the destructive entropy of the attack you have just sustained and focus it for a lethal counterattack.

When a creature successfully strikes you with a melee or natural weapon, you can use this maneuver to make an immediate melee touch attack. If your attack hits, your target takes 8d6 points of [negative energy] damage and is struck dead. A Fortitude save (DC 17 + your Intelligence modifier) prevents death but not the damage.

ENTROPIC DYNAMO
Entropy Dynamo (Boost)
Level: Machinist 2
Prerequisite: 1 Entropy Dynamo maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: End of turn

You induce a cascading overload in your armor’s generators, increasing its destructive potential.

Intentionally overloading the power coils of your equipment is dangerous if done for more than a few seconds, but the increased power makes your electrical attacks even more painful. Whenever you deal [electricity] damage this round, your opponent must make a Fortitude save or be [sickened] by the pain for 1 round. The save DC is equal to the attack’s normal save DC, if it has one, or 12 + your Intelligence modifier, if it does not have a save DC.

ENTROPIC FEEDBACK
Entropy Dynamo (Stance)
Level: Machinist 3
Prerequisite: 1 Entropy Dynamo maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Stance

A mandala appears beneath your feet, siphoning nearby entropic forces to enhance your own vitality.

You calibrate your equipment to harvest some of the energy stolen when you inflict [negative energy] damage. While you remain in this stance, you heal 1 hit point for each die of [negative energy] damage you deal. Excess healing is converted into temporary hit points, which last for 5 minutes or until the end of the current encounter, whichever comes first.

ENTROPIC REBUKE
Entropy Dynamo (Counter) [negative energy]
Level: Machinist 5
Prerequisite: Two Entropy Dynamo maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 immediate action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Instantaneous and 1 round
Saving Throw: None and Fortitude partial

Accumulators in your armor harness the destructive entropy of the attack you have just sustained and focus it for a deadly counterattack.

When a creature successfully strikes you with a melee or natural weapon, you can use this maneuver to make an immediate melee touch attack. If your attack hits, your target takes 8d6 points of [negative energy] damage and is [exhausted] for 1 round. A Fortitude save (DC 15 + your Intelligence modifier) negates the condition but not the damage.

ENTROPIC RETORT
Entropy Dynamo (Counter) [negative energy]
Level: Machinist 2
Prerequisite: One Entropy Dynamo maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 immediate action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Instantaneous and 1 round
Saving Throw: None and Fortitude partial

Accumulators in your armor harness the destructive entropy of the attack you have just sustained and focus it for a deadly counterattack.

When a creature successfully strikes you with a melee or natural weapon, you can use this maneuver to make an immediate melee touch attack. If your attack hits, your target takes 4d6 points of [negative energy] damage and is [fatigued] for 1 round. A Fortitude save (DC 12 + your Intelligence modifier) negates the condition but not the damage.

ENTROPIC SHACKLE
Entropy Dynamo (Boost)
Level: Machinist 3
Prerequisite: 1 Entropy Dynamo maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: End of turn

You induce a self-replicating instability in your armor’s generators, increasing its destructive potential.

You tune your equipment to create entropic fields in a self-replicating fractal pattern that can disrupt your opponent’s very structure. Whenever you deal [negative energy] damage this round, your opponent must make a Fortitude save or gain vulnerability to [negative energy], taking +50% damage from subsequent [negative energy] attacks. The save DC against this effect is equal to the attack’s normal save DC, if it has one, or 13 + your Intelligence modifier, if it does not have a save DC. The vulnerability lasts for 5 minutes, or until the end of the current encounter, whichever comes first.

ENTROPIC SPHERE
Entropy Dynamo (Strike)
Level: Machinist 9
Prerequsite: 3 Entropy Dynamo maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: 100 ft
Effect: 2-ft radius sphere
Duration: 3 rounds
Saving Throw: Fortitude partial

You project a featureless black sphere of pure nothingness, a zone of entropy that consumes all matter that it touches.

You create a terrible sphere of entropy that destroys everything it touches. Each round on your turn, you can direct the sphere to move up to 30 feet as a move action. It stops moving when it enters a space containing a creature, automatically striking it. The sphere deals 2d6 points of damage per initiator level, although a Fortitude save (DC 19 + your Intelligence modifier) reduces the damage to 5d6. Anything killed by the sphere is disintegrated, as the spell. If used against objects, the sphere disintegrates as much as one 10-foot cube of nonliving matter per round.

LIGHTNING BOLT
Entropy Dynamo (Strike) [Electricity]
Level: Machinist 3
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: 60 ft.
Effect: 60-ft line.
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Reflex half

With a thunderous report that leaves the scent of ozone and burning metal in the air, you launch a line of lightning at your foe.

When you initiate this maneuver, you launch a bolt of lightning in a 60-foot line. Creatures and objects within the area take 1d6 points of [electricity] damage per initiator level.

LIGHTNING CLOAK
Entropy Dynamo (Stance) [Electricity]
Level: Machinist 3
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Stance

You surround yourself in a crackling cloak of lightning that arcs about, electrocuting those who attack you.

Electrostatic generators create a cloak of lightning about you, defending you from your attackers. An adjacent opponent who hits you with a melee attack while you are in this stance takes 5 points of [electricity] damage. Your lightning cloak does not harm a creature using a reach weapon to attack you unless that weapon is composed entirely or principally of a conductive material (such as steel).

LIGHTNING MOTE
Entropy Dynamo (Strike) [Electricity]
Level: Machinist 1
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: 60 ft.
Target: One creature
Duration: Instantaneous

With a thunderous report that leaves the scent of ozone and burning metal in the air, you launch an arc of lightning at your foe.

When you initiate this maneuver, you launch a brief arc of lightning at a single opponent. If you make a successful ranged touch attack, your target takes 1d6 points of [electricity] damage per initiator level.

LIGHTNING SHIELD
Entropy Dynamo (Stance) [Electricity]
Level: Machinist 1
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: Stance

The dynamo within your armor or shield spins up with a whir, surrounding you in a crackling field of electrical potential.

You are protected by an aura that deflects attacks and grounds electrical energy as long as you remain in this stance. The protection gained is determined by your ranks in Knowledge (architecture and engineering). If you have 19 or more ranks in Knowledge (architecture and engineering), you gain immunity to [electricity] while in this stance.


Knowledge RanksElectricity ResistanceDeflection Bonus
4 – 85+1
9 – 1310+2
14 – 1820+3
19+Immunity+4

MANDALA OF ANNIHILATION
Entropy Dynamo (Strike) [negative energy]
Level: Machinist 6
Prerequisite: 2 Entropy Dynamo maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: 100 ft.
Effect: cylinder (20-ft radius, 40 ft. high)
Duration: 3 rounds
Saving Throw: Fortitude partial

As your device activates, a mandala appears on the ground, and a vortex of destructive energy erupts from its center.

You manipulate planar potentials to conjure a magical mandala, a conduit for entropic forces. Creatures that begin their turn within or move into or through the mandala sustain 1d8 [negative energy] damage per two initiator levels and are [fatigued]. A successful saving throw halves the damage and negates the fatigue.

MANDALA OF ENTROPY
Entropy Dynamo (Strike) [negative energy]
Level: Machinist 4
Prerequisite: 1 Entropy Dynamo maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: 100 ft.
Effect: cylinder (20-ft radius, 40 ft. high)
Duration: 3 rounds
Saving Throw: Fortitude half

As your device activates, a mandala appears on the ground, and a cloud of destructive energy erupts from its center.

You manipulate planar potentials to conjure a magical mandala, a conduit for entropic forces. Creatures that begin their turn within or move into or through the mandala sustain 1d8 [negative energy] damage per two initiator levels.

MIGHTY THUNDERING HAMMER
Entropy Dynamo (Strike)
Level: Machinist 5
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature or object
Duration: Instantaneous

Servos and actuators lend you incredible strength as you deliver a single crushing blow.

You make a single melee attack or attempt to break an object. Gain a +10 enhancement bonus to Strength on your attack and damage rolls or your Strength check. This maneuver is an extraordinary ability.

NULL-POINT BARRIER
Entropy Dynamo (Counter)
Level: Machinist 3
Prerequisite: 1 Entropy Dynamo maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 immediate action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: End of turn

A short-lived barrier shimmers into being around you, protecting you briefly from harm.

You gain 2 temporary hit points per initiator level. These temporary hit points last until the end of your turn, or until the end of your next turn if it is not currently your turn.

NULL-POINT BARRIER FIELD
Entropy Dynamo (Counter)
Level: Machinist 8
Prerequisite: 1 Entropy Dynamo maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 immediate action
Range: Personal
Effect: You and allies within a 30-ft burst
Duration: End of turn

A short-lived barrier shimmers into being around you and your allies, protecting you briefly from harm.

You and all allies within range gain 3 temporary hit points per initiator level. These temporary hit points last until the end of your turn, or until the end of your next turn if it is not currently your turn.

REFLECTIVE BARRIER
Entropy Dynamo (Counter)
Level: Machinist 3
Prerequisite: 2 Entropy Dynamo maneuvers
Initiation Action: 1 immediate action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: End of turn

A short-lived barrier shimmers into being around you, protecting you briefly from harm and posing a danger for your attackers.

You gain 4 temporary hit points per initiator level, and any creature that targets you with a damaging attack must make a Will save (DC 16 + your Intelligence modifier) or take half the damage dealt. These benefits last until the end of your turn, or until the end of your next turn if it is not currently your turn.

SHOCKING BLADE
Entropy Dynamo (Boost) [Electricity]
Level: Machinist 7
Initiation Action: 1 swift action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: End of turn

Your weapon erupts with lightning as you strike at your foe.

Depressing a switch or trigger on your equipment unleashes a jolt of electricity. When you initiate this maneuver, lightning crackles over the surface of your melee weapon. For the rest of your turn, your melee attacks deal an extra 3d6 points of [electricity] damage + 1 point per initiator level.

STRIKE OF DECAY
Entropy Dynamo (Strike) [negative energy]
Level: Machinist 4
Prerequisite: 1 Entropy Dynamo maneuver
Initiation Action: Standard
Range: Melee attack
Target: One living creature
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Fortitude partial

A small mandala appears on your weapon and destructive energy pours forth as you make your attack.

As part of this maneuver, you make a single melee attack. If you hit, your attack deals +4d6 [negative energy] damage, and your opponent must make a Fortitude save (DC = 14 + your Intelligence modifier) or take a negative level, which lasts for one hour. If you score a critical hit, your strike inflicts a number of negative levels equal to your weapon’s critical multiplier.

THUNDERING HAMMER
Entropy Dynamo (Strike)
Level: Machinist 2
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Melee attack
Target: One creature or object
Duration: Instantaneous

Servos and actuators lend you enormous strength as you deliver a single crushing blow.

You make a single melee attack or attempt to break an object. Gain a +6 enhancement bonus to Strength on your attack and damage rolls or your Strength check. This maneuver is an extraordinary ability.

[Wyntonian]

Well, I've always liked your homebrew, but I'm especially fond of this project. Seriously, well done. I'm not an expert on ToB 'brewing, so I'll leave the specific balance things to other folks, there's nothing that raises any eyebrows for me except for one thing. Do people generally include caps on x/initiator level things?

From Lightning Bolt:


Creatures and objects within the area take 1d6 points of [electricity] damage per initiator level.

I know the reflex save will *always* be low, as a first level maneuver, but it seems odd to have a first-level maneuver that deals 10d6 on a failed save.

Other grammatical things:

All your maneuvers with bulletpoints have extra [bullet] and [/bullet ] tags on them. I really like those, by the way! Good job!

Is "End of Turn" a valid duration? (See: Crackling Blade, others) I can't recall if I've ever seen a maneuver/spell with that. Could be wrong, of course. And if it isn't, I still know what you mean.

Entropic Rebuke and Entropic Shackle aren't bolded. (If you want me to stop the nitpicks, just let me know! I don't want to nag, I just like consistent formatting for homebrew and you have a pretty high standard.)

That's all I can see. Good work! I'm really loving these disciplines. If I see a suitable PbP to playtest them, I'll be sure to let you know how it goes.

[jiriku]

That's also a number of good catches, thank you! A slew of corrections have been made. And no, I don't mind the nitpicks. I try to be meticulous when I write; even tiny errors bother me.

Lightning Bolt's level is a typo; that should be a 3rd level maneuver. But you're correct that it's novel for a maneuver to have uncapped damage. I thought (a) I'd like to see the more iconic low-level maneuvers remain useful at higher levels, and (b) it's really hard to pump your initiator level above your character level, so there's little incentive to try to create an exploit.

Note: The Mechanical Genius feat (in the machinist thread) can increase the save DC of these lower level maneuvers.

The "End of Turn" duration is wiggly-piggly, it's true, but in this case I ripped it straight from the Desert Wind Burning Blade maneuver, so I think it's on steady ground.

Thanks for all the kudos! :smallsmile:

[Amechra]

I think that there isn't a method of increasing your IL past your HD; I don't even think I've seen homebrew to that effect.

[jiriku]

About the only thing that comes to my mind that could increase IL above your normal HD is to temporarily increase your HD, such as with the inspire greatness bardic music ability, or by polymorphing into a barghest or dusk giant and eating people. But those are really obscure tricks, and anyone who knows about/uses such things is probably after phenomenal cosmic power, not just a measly few extra d6s on a low-level martial maneuver that can be neutralized by Evasion and a good Reflex save.

[gparali]

I am guessing the discipline is not complete?
A lot of maneuvers are missing.

[jiriku]

Most of the 6th, 7th, and 8th level maneuver descriptions were deleted by mistake at some point. I'm not sure when that happened. :smallconfused: They've been restored now.

[jiriku]

Tables repaired. Proofed for typos and corrected many small errors.