101+ Worse kinds of players

[SpiderBrigade]

(Random Letter) (Random Letter) UR (Random Letter) EK
So, like, Wturlek?

[Golthur]

So, like, Wturlek?
Qzurwek sounds good :yuk:

Or, you could just go with vowels, e.g. Uoureek. Hey, that's almost appropriate if it's the same guy as the gasser - "Youreek" fits your formula. :wink:

[MrNexx]

Oh! Zqurxek!

[Jamin]

260-Hey I have seen this before DM
The DM whose stories all are the same with minor(like the names of places and NPCs) differences. Plus there is the fact that the story is really really BORING. I mean there are only so many times I can walk around the town looking for clues for the kings murder(always done by the advisor). Would it kill him to do an outside quest for once
261-Wait I am not done rolling
The player does not stop rolling until he has at least 3 18s. Also anything below a 13 is unacceptable. This is why my campaigns are now point buy.
262-Bad Powergamer
This person tries and fails to make they character the most powerful thing ever by doing things like preparing only fireballs and fly

(sadly these are all the same person)

[Psychotic]

2
254. Gas Attacker

Seriously...I don't know WHAT this guy ate but arggggh!


Based off of that...

263. The Guy who doesn't believe in Deodorant.

Nuff said. Body odor crits you for 52 points of damage. You fail your Fort save and die.

[Stephen_E]

258. The completely zoned out
Thinks he's somewhere else, and complain about how he got there when he comes to.



Variant - Takes out a book and starts reading it if more than a minute passes without his character actively doing something then complains that he didn't get a chance to react when told he's taking damage after not noticing a loud discussion about the combat that just started.

Stephen

[KazilDarkeye]

So, like, Wturlek?

Yeah, but the 2 examples I'm thinking of are:

1) Skurbek
2) Murmek

(Both of these are meatshields with below 10 Int,Wis and Cha if that
explains it)

I would post the formula, but it needs a lot of simplification to encompass all the stupid things they have done

e.g one likes to warm leftover pizza for breakfast, and he couldn't figure out my microwave, so he accidentally sets it for 30mins instead of 30secs and almost caused a fire.

[Kamakazee_Gnome]

Has the "Nerfer" been mentioned yet? My DM insists that every class/concept/ability is overpowered, and forbids anything more powerful than a Commoner.

He also gives us almost no treasure. And no in-game downtime. And EVERYTHING is railroaded.

[Turcano]

263. The Guy who doesn't believe in Deodorant.

Nuff said. Body odor crits you for 52 points of damage. You fail your Fort save and die.

Oh man, I can relate to that. It's a good thing that my Fort save is quite robust.

[Jade_Tarem]

260. Stand up comedy.

This player/dm cannot stay in character at all when there's a joke to be made. While the sessions are funny, there's no realism. Good luck with that.

[BCOVertigo]

260. Stand up comedy.

This player/dm cannot stay in character at all when there's a joke to be made. While the sessions are funny, there's no realism. Good luck with that.

Well it is all my fault then.
:smallfrown:

[Mr Pink]

#261 - The Invincible "Samurai"
This is the guy that loves the idea of the heroic fighter fightign for a cause. He ALWAYS walks head first into danger and the most stupid of situations because he is acting "in character". "Samurai's arn't afraid of aythign so my char would do that!"
This guy NEVER has a plan short of drawing his sword and walking into danger because he's "brave".
Annoys people because he must be the strongest and most powerful melee character in party, and frequently isn't. Annoys everyone endlessly, and despite frequently being outnumbered, never seems to die (much to everyone's dismay).



i'm guilty of somethign close to this... in my early days of D&D.
in our leve 3 party of 5, i once charge 3 Dire Wolves... I kiled 2 and didn't lose ven hlaf HP. The party killed the other one - two others died.
Suffice to say i wasn't popular...

[KazilDarkeye]

Another one I have observed:

262: Mr Mental Rock

This person cannot learn the rules OR pay attention.

eg. One minute they forget to roll initiative, and when gently reminded to roll for an attack with their longbow (with an insanely high mod of +7 for a first level character*) they use the d8.

Next minute they are doing exactly the same thing and when asked to learn the rules for attacking e.t.c they ask 'whats a d20?'

*A ranger with Point Blank Shot within 30ft of a favoured enemy (goblinoids) with archery as a combat style

[purepolarpanzer]

263: Outta the Box Character

The player who, for some unfathomable reason, thinks that if you start as a barbarian, you must become a frensied berserker. They read about the uber-powerful class/feat/skill combos and use them. For every character. In every game. Ever. And most of the time you ask them for a back story and they say "My barbarian feels an uncontrollabel rage that helps him in battle." Alright. Tell me somehting I don't know. "Uhhhhh.... he's allergic to cats" They probably started playing Magic The Gathering in tournaments and got the mentality that to have fun they must win and to win they must have the ungodly strong combo that they read about (not a burn to MTG players, those tournaments are for cards or money, so a strong combo is GOOD).

264: The Eye for an Eye DM

The Dm that always finds a way to get back at you. You find a way to bypass the ambush he planned, you end up in an avalanche. You ask if he maybe could not direct a characters actions so much, your character finds the spike trap that appears from nowhere. Or even better, the DM who takes it one step farther.

265: Eye for an Artery DM

You tick them off, your PC dies. No saves, no resurrection, no nothing. If you find a way to trap the dragon under the mountain, a random commando sorceror comes from behind the "secret door" (that just appeared) and causes the earth to open up and you fall to your death. Or, the ultimate cheap move, you beat the BBEG creatively and the DM has a large rock fall on your head, instantly crushing you, with no saves or damage calculation.

[Shazzbaa]

And since, last I checked, no one's really posted the true meaning of this infamous term in this thread yet (amazingly):

#266: The Metagamer

Out of character knowledge is directing in-character actions, though no one could ever really prove it. If one member of the party wanders off alone and is attacked, the Metagamer wants to run to the rescue with his +9 sword of ogre-slaying, forgetting that his character's off at the bar and has no inkling that the other guy's in danger.
If you, of course, point out that he doesn't know that the other guy's in danger, then the Metagamer's character will simply conveniently decide that this would be a great time to go visit the other guy. Just 'cause.

If the DM rolled a bunch of dice, the Metagamer's character will suddenly become obsessed with searching the room: no reason. If a different player got a message from the DM, the Metagamer's character will suddenly have a desire to question that other character. No reason, he just felt like it.

Oh, but you know what the real reason is.

#267: The Passive Metagamer

This guy isn't as bad as the Metagamer, but he still hurts the mood of the game. He's not necessarily using out-of-game knowledge to "win the game," it's just that he wants to enjoy the outside of the game as much as he does the inside. So, if the DM directs an NPC to attack someone, the Passive Metagamer will begin questioning the DM on what the NPC's strength is, what the NPC's level is, and what sort of enchantments the NPC's sword must have to allow him 5 attacks at level 16. If some other PC has a secret backstory, the Passive Metagamer will want to know what it is, even if other characters refuse to eleborate -- going so far as to ask the DM to tell him outright what's going on. If you explain to him that his character doesn't know these things and the other characters aren't telling him, so there's no way he would know... then he doesn't care. It's not his character that wants to know, it's him -- the player -- and somehow in his mind that makes it okay.
Enjoying the mechanics behind the game is one thing, but I just don't get this guy, and I wish he'd just chat with the DM after the session instead of interrupting our game with his constant requests for metagame information.

[KazilDarkeye]

Has the "Nerfer" been mentioned yet? My DM insists that every class/concept/ability is overpowered, and forbids anything more powerful than a Commoner.

He also gives us almost no treasure. And no in-game downtime. And EVERYTHING is railroaded.

Yes, it has been mentioned.

Still working on these formulae...

[KazilDarkeye]

(I know of the 3 post rule, but I am just trying to get this thread rolling again)
(I am also going to mention a few more)

268: Mr Truant

Similar to The Phantom and The No-Show but this one will actually go such lengths as faking constipation/diorhea, hiding under the dog bath (don't ask), locking themselves in the toilet or building matchstick replicas of themselves when they don't want to play. Will sometimes form a 'crime ring' with other players filling in for them/convincing the DM that they are just doing something and will be back in a few minutes.


I don't know why he doesn't just ASK to change the meeting times


269: The Scattered Group

In games they can come together as a team and role-play really well...but when it comes to talking to each of them to arrange a meeting, it's a nightmare. They are literally all over the place

[Shadow of the Sun]

The Super DM
This is a DM who insists on playing a character and DM'ing at the same time. His character is quite often a power-munchkin and can justify anything he does cause, hey- he is the DM.

[Parallax]

271 The Grudge From Beyond

It doesn't matter if it happened 10 years ago, in a different campaign, or what the circumstances were. His new character is out to get yours and if they happen to die before their thirst for revenge is quenched, their next character will avenge them. It doesn't matter if your character dies either, because they'll assume that everyone is as childish as they are and that your next character will be out to get theirs.


272 Apocalypse Man

His goal: ruining the campaign world. His means: everything he can get his grubby hands on. This is like 271 except his need for vengeance is directed at the GM.


273 The Private Jokers (come in pairs)

The players are good friends, or BF/GF, or siblings and have a lot of inside jokes that they share. Unfortunately nobody else at the table shares them so they feel like they have to explain them because, you know, they're so funny. No? Well, you had to be there.


274 The Loner

Their character is dark and mysterious, with a dark (yes, as well) past. Somewhat sociopathic, they don't like to associate with the party, follow other people's rules or respect contrieving orders (marching orders, especially.) Will go off by themselves for any or no reason, forcing the GM to devote half their attention to the Loner until the character gets mercifully killed or comes back running with monsters straight behind. Tends to keep whatever loot he finds for himself but insist on getting equal share of whatever else the party finds as well.

[OccultNino]

275- Players who do nothing wrong. Yep had to add that there is no perfect gamer

[Dr. Weasel]

#276 Nerd Incognito

No language can be used to imply he plays D&D. The sounds of even words like "Character" and "Dice" trigger an impulsive glance over the shoulders. No book can ever leave the gaming room without first being wrapped in a towel and shoved into a backpack. Dice are stashed in seemingly inconspicuous paper bags... even though everyone already associates him with true nerd-dom, he will not be associated with D&D.

Also, he's usually the one to schedule the sessions

[StickMan]

#277 It works in the real world.

Hey that is how it works in the real world there for it works in the game even though the RAW says it does not.

[Lilivati]

sorry if it's already been said...

#278 Lawful Stupid
This is the holy paladin of justice who knows all interactions with any NPCs (and possibly several PCs) in the game, ever, must surely end in combat. Detect evil is his trusted accomplice, as he examines every person he comes in contact with the greatest zeal, and his mighty greatsword is often quick to follow. Self-righteous and asinine, he will frequently endanger the party or prevent them from completing a mission, whether it be by attacking an enemy clearly beyond his strength or alienating a critical NPC with his disdain. His badge of lawful good is his justification for exemplifying the worst ideals of the paladin class, and many of the most frustrating traits in a player.

(Miko would be an example of lawful stupid, but I've seen worse...)

[Winged One]

#276 Nerd Incognito

No language can be used to imply he plays D&D. The sounds of even words like "Character" and "Dice" trigger an impulsive glance over the shoulders. No book can ever leave the gaming room without first being wrapped in a towel and shoved into a backpack. Dice are stashed in seemingly inconspicuous paper bags... even though everyone already associates him with true nerd-dom, he will not be associated with D&D.

Also, he's usually the one to schedule the sessions

I am definately guilty of that one IRL. Not as badly now as I used to be, but still pretty bad.

[EddieBird]

#79 The player that has to be an incredibably rare or strange character and never plays a normal person ((Long...))

This player always chooses a Half-celestial monk who dyes her wings black to stay stealthy or perhaps a druid with a strange animal companion who has a bizarre background and is not involved with the druid community or such. I played with my freind who refused to just play a core race and ALWAYS had to be amazingly diffrent, not to powergame, just for RP values.


Forgive me father for I have sinned. I am a #79.
At least I am not one of the following-

#XXXThe Seductress (or Seducer):
This player enters into real-life secret carnal relationships with several other members of the group, especially the DM's spouse. When the shannigans come to light the entire group is destroyed along with the DM's marrige.

#YYYThe Undressed:
Often combined with "the unbathed", this player wears nought but a single pair of boxer shorts or underpants. He has a seriously unattractive and uncared for body and is oblivious to the discomfort of the other players as they try to avert their eyes.

[Dancing_Zephyr]

291 "By the power of Greyskull"
The player (usually a ranger, fighter or barbarian) that finds a good magic item and thinks it makes them invincible. They feel they need to anounce with a loud voice exactly when they are using it.

Needless to say he got kicked out very quickly.

[Yahzi]

#292: The Logic Ninja

The kind of player who remembers everything the DM does and then traps him by applying the same rules.

This kind of player kidnaps the monsters from the dungeon and uses them against his own enemies, kills the dragon when still 1st level by taking out a loan from the Church, and ends the uber-hall-of-death super-final-boss battle in 30 minutes... without a single dice roll.

Oh wait... that's me. :D

(No, I'm not TLN, but I wish I'd gotten to meet him.)

[Mike_G]

#276 Nerd Incognito

No language can be used to imply he plays D&D. The sounds of even words like "Character" and "Dice" trigger an impulsive glance over the shoulders. No book can ever leave the gaming room without first being wrapped in a towel and shoved into a backpack. Dice are stashed in seemingly inconspicuous paper bags... even though everyone already associates him with true nerd-dom, he will not be associated with D&D.

Also, he's usually the one to schedule the sessions

Hey, that's the only way I got laid in high school.

Sometimes, D&D seems like a dirty little secret.

What I find worse is the Nerd Pride Advocate, who loudly discusses D&D mechanics to you at social functions that have nothing to do with D&D, scaring away all the pretty girls.

Since I married a gamer, this has become less of a concern.

[MrNexx]

Nerd Power! Nerd Power! Nerd Power!

[Folie]

I'm something of a closet gamer myself, but that's because it's so hard to explain how the hell these games are played without making it sound insane to most people. My experience has taught me that, when you talk to most people about RPGs, they get so weirded out that you might as well be talking about some kind of bizarre sexual fetish. (In fact, as soon as the word "roleplaying" comes out of your mouth, they will often assume that you are talking about a sexual fetish.) O of Commissioned has also described this phenomenon:


...when the time comes for us, the RPG enthusiasts to share our hobby, we always seem to have a hard time explaining to others what it is we do. First, they seem to be unable to understand that there exists a game that is not played on a TV screen or a big rectangle made of grass. When you finally get the idea through that RPGs are table-top games then you have the problem of explaining that RPGs are not like chess, checkers, shoots & ladders or whatever adult game similar to “Ideographic” they can remember. So you try to explain that RPGs are about forming a story in which each one of the players is a character in the story and one of the players has the job of being a sort of narrator. Pretty simple, right? Wrong. Once you say this, people almost always get the impression that it's some sort of hippie gathering to make improvised poetry and performances. At this point, they're probably thinking you're on crack too. Making a long story short, you have to go through a good hours worth of heavy explaining before the person you're talking to has even the slightest clue of what a RPG isn't.
Source:
http://commissionedcomic.com/index.php?strip=42
(Click the link that says "Read This Comic's Rant")

[adanedhel9]

And yet, it's my experience that most people take about 10 minutes to understand table-top roleplaying if they see a game in action. It's an extremely intuitive play style, and almost everyone has played games in that style at some point in the past - whether it be "cops and robbers", or "cowboys and indians", or "house", or "superheroes and supervillians". It's so intuitive that it defies description.

[Thrawn183]

#276 Nerd Incognito

No language can be used to imply he plays D&D. The sounds of even words like "Character" and "Dice" trigger an impulsive glance over the shoulders. No book can ever leave the gaming room without first being wrapped in a towel and shoved into a backpack. Dice are stashed in seemingly inconspicuous paper bags... even though everyone already associates him with true nerd-dom, he will not be associated with D&D.

Also, he's usually the one to schedule the sessions

I have to admit I have reservations about this one. I care a lot about the people I play D&D with but I don't feel that D&D defines what I am. I don't talk about D&D with people I don't play with but I don't hide the fact that I play if I'm specifically asked, its just not something I broadcast.
Part of this is because I'm something of a nerd crossed with a jock. I lift at the gym and hang out with people from the frats but I've also been known to just sit and watch a D&D session that I wasn't even playing in.
I don't really know what this makes me, but I know that it can be uncomfortable for me sometimes when talking about D&D in public and I'm sure that my friends weren't sure what to think of me at first either (or course I'd like to think that after a year of hanging out at college were beyond that now :smallbiggrin: )

[TheThan]

And yet, it's my experience that most people take about 10 minutes to understand table-top roleplaying if they see a game in action. It's an extremely intuitive play style, and almost everyone has played games in that style at some point in the past - whether it be "cops and robbers", or "cowboys and indians", or "house", or "superheroes and supervillians". It's so intuitive that it defies description.


You missed "playing doctor"...

[Folie]

And yet, it's my experience that most people take about 10 minutes to understand table-top roleplaying if they see a game in action. It's an extremely intuitive play style, and almost everyone has played games in that style at some point in the past - whether it be "cops and robbers", or "cowboys and indians", or "house", or "superheroes and supervillians". It's so intuitive that it defies description.

But just try and drag them there in the first place!

[Folie]

*bump*

I must confess that I've been this one...

#293 Just As Good As The Guys
Rough, tough, and gutsy as can be, this female's out to prove that she's got Grrl Power(TM) and plenty of it. Even if her male comrades already support the feminist ideals she's trying to embody, she takes their "sexism" as a given, and is offended by both their praise ("How dare you hit on me! I'm not a sex object!") and blame ("You just hate me because I'm a girl! I'll show you, you chauvinist pig!"). Ironically, the shameful display this young woman is making is often just a big cry for male attention.

[Nerd-o-rama]

I just thought of something to add to the explanation of roleplaying games for the uninitiated:

"Cops and Robbers, but with rules and dice so you can tell who got whom first."

That about sum it up?

[Tengu]

#294 Bomber Man
He does not care about other party members, the plot, or anything at all. He's just here to demolish everything, including any buildings he finds, all NPCs, and eventually other PCs too. Usually spends most or all of his money on explosives, or the closest equivalent in a fantasy game. When his character gets killed, which takes a very short time usually, he just creates a carbon copy.

[Mauril Everleaf]

ah finally time for me to add mine.

#295 Obsessed with the NPC
My DM tends to run several different campaigns in the same world, often involving many of the same major players. our group has a guy who always plays an assassin/martial artist who is literally in love with 3 of the female npcs (korsa, socora and telra). he will do any and everything necessary to have them in the party and will fight any foe, no matter how powerful, who does anything to any of these three. this leads me to the next bad player type.

#296 The Metagame Love Affair with an NPC
so we start a new campaign with new characters, and brandon (the one in love with the 3 npcs from above) builds a chaotic good cambion fighter and a true neutral tiefling assassin (all of us are either tiefling or cambion). the assassin got some psionic abilities from being tiefling, so he read the mind of the gypsy that was telling our fortune and finds out her name is telra. he freaks out and we spend the entire next session going to save her from the bbeg who stole her (mind you we are lvl 1 and 2 at this time). we break her out and get stopped by 3 anti-paladins, a Death and 4 skeleton warriors (which are sick in this world) all of whom just appeared out of nowhere. the TN assassin decides to risk his and the rest of the party's lives to save this girl who we know nothing about and have no reason to lose our lives over. we try to explain that his character wouldnt do this, but he attacked anyway. (my ln warlock and cg mage/cleric just laid down and made no agressive moves). the dm was nice and didnt kill us, but we were all pissed off at him.

[Amphimir Míriel]

Ever seen a female #55? Not as interesting as one might think.

Tell me about it! I once played in a campaign where the DM just made sure that your character would meet someone you would be attracted to, and manipulated events so that all of the characters had complex romantic liasons in-between (and sometimes during!) adventures. He just had a knack for finding out the type of romantic sugar you liked, and zeroing that in...

And it wasnt even just the girls! (althought they were the ones most into it)

The coup-de-grace was when a new player came and declared his disgust at the level of sweetness on the campaign. He then proceeded to roll a "Macho" no-nonesense fighter... and 3 sessions later he had fallen in love with an NPC and was protecting her from all harm :smallbiggrin:

It wasnt really about the sex (at most the descriptions and roleplaying would have gotten a PG-15 rating), but the ammount of romance subplots was on-par with a trashy romance novel

-

It was nice while it lasted, but eventually we all got tired of it and then we spent 6 months playing Werewolf - The Apocalypse, "jus' killing thangs"

-

Edit: Darn! I never noticed this is covered by #296! And just before my post to boot!

[Void_Form]

This is a more specific one from the group I play with.

2## - Bastion - see "unassailable fortification", short form, Bastard.

Friend's older brothers character. Probably a textbook example of munchkin or power gamer. Through a combination of shrewd feat collection and stats, he is both difficult to hit and godlike with two swords. Bastion can not do much else. He is also CE and occasionaly kills NPC's before talking or attempts suicidal attacks on powerful monsters.

The power gaming is not the issue. Our group follows the philosophy of:
"You have incredible powers? Alright, but expect the challenges to increase accordingly." It's the CE "Provoke aggresion where it might not have been needed." (Common) While Bastion makes for interesting RPing, it can be frustrating when the NPC who was originally helpful gets killed and raises the negative attention of an empire's entire military.

I'm mixed in my feelings. On the one hand, the campaign was full of narrow escapes and incredible battles. On the other, it was not always fun to have almost everyone in campaign (I'm dead serious) become enemies because of Bastion's twitchy sword hands.

An infuriating character that similtaneously made the campaign fun.
Perhaps the best kind of CE character. (If such a thing is possible.)

[Tengu]

"Powergamer" does not mix with "two swords" in D&D 3.5, unless there's "Dervish" or "sneak attack" included.

And yeah, I had my share of Bastions throught (spelling?) my campaings in the past, too. So I understand how ambivalent can you feel about them.

[Khantalas]

Or "skirmish" and "rollerskating cheese".

[NullAshton]

sorry if it's already been said...

#278 Lawful Stupid
This is the holy paladin of justice who knows all interactions with any NPCs (and possibly several PCs) in the game, ever, must surely end in combat. Detect evil is his trusted accomplice, as he examines every person he comes in contact with the greatest zeal, and his mighty greatsword is often quick to follow. Self-righteous and asinine, he will frequently endanger the party or prevent them from completing a mission, whether it be by attacking an enemy clearly beyond his strength or alienating a critical NPC with his disdain. His badge of lawful good is his justification for exemplifying the worst ideals of the paladin class, and many of the most frustrating traits in a player.

(Miko would be an example of lawful stupid, but I've seen worse...)

The first time I tried DMing a game, I had one of those players. The players were in a city, with a hanged werewolf outside... and when they got to the mayor of the city, he suddenly started trying to take command of the city, trying to get the citizens to melt down any silver they had to create weapons.

[Khantalas]

298. The Power RPer.

This species is very dangerous, as they are not only capable of finding insane combos of feats and weapons and spells and classes with only the material you allow, but also can immediately justify how they acquire these skills in-game. It would be better if they were bad RPers - at least you would feel better kicking them out of the game.

[Venefiicus]

This is in reference to Voidform's post about Bastian. I was the DM who kept getting the NPCs killed by Bastian.

Where to begin... Ah yes. Everyone hates him. The party wishes he would go away. The law is confused as to why they can't keep him in chains, and everything I make dies at his hands, every supposedly 'impossible' challenges.

Starting at level 3. He and a group of 2 other characters were out to find a contact with a theives guild, who they would kill. Bastian descended the ladder, charged through a room full of fighters sitting around drinking. Jumping he slammed both his feet into a door that was the only way out... and fell to the ground and was swarmed. So why is this so bad? To explain the the event simply he killed 11 fighters, and a 5th level half-ogre monk. The other two... they killed the two remaining fighters.

It isn't just that he has twitchy wrists that keep swords at bay, or that he has only been reduced to 2 hit points once. It is the fact that he doesn't know enemy or ally, except fpr the party.

My 20th lvl, half-vampire Paladin of Tyranny (who ironically was in control of an empire bent on a human-only world) was designed to kill the bastard. So, what happened? After fighting 2 five headed hyrdas, 2 mountian trolls, a pair of Iron golems, and some mezzoloths he proceeded to kill the 20th lvl character in 5 rounds. He was level 13 and had one supporting character. He fled after when a Lich's servants came to ensuere the deal was kept, and the campaign ended there.

So, with just a bit of history to back up Voidform's description of that bastard do you now see why he is such a hated character? My only reamining option is a rogue with truestrike and one hell of a sneak attack!

[endersdouble]

Hey, that's the only way I got laid in high school.

Sometimes, D&D seems like a dirty little secret.

What I find worse is the Nerd Pride Advocate, who loudly discusses D&D mechanics to you at social functions that have nothing to do with D&D, scaring away all the pretty girls.


This runs both ways. During a debate tournament during high school, I was sitting around with my partner and most of the other debators between rounds. My partner, whom I'm conversing with, makes a remark, disparaging me for playing RPGs. He then goes over to two attractive girls and starts hitting on them.

What do I do? I walk up to him, and make a (knowingly) erroneous claim about Type 1 Magic (knowing his preferences at the time, probably something along the lines of "Isn't combo better than Drain-based decks?") The guy is an obsessive competitive Magic player, and breaks off to correct me. By the time he's done, the girls have left for their next match. He was pretty mad, but, well, turnabout is fair play. :)

[Were-Sandwich]

This is in reference to Voidform's post about Bastian. I was the DM who kept getting the NPCs killed by Bastian.

Where to begin... Ah yes. Everyone hates him. The party wishes he would go away. The law is confused as to why they can't keep him in chains, and everything I make dies at his hands, every supposedly 'impossible' challenges.

Starting at level 3. He and a group of 2 other characters were out to find a contact with a theives guild, who they would kill. Bastian descended the ladder, charged through a room full of fighters sitting around drinking. Jumping he slammed both his feet into a door that was the only way out... and fell to the ground and was swarmed. So why is this so bad? To explain the the event simply he killed 11 fighters, and a 5th level half-ogre monk. The other two... they killed the two remaining fighters.

It isn't just that he has twitchy wrists that keep swords at bay, or that he has only been reduced to 2 hit points once. It is the fact that he doesn't know enemy or ally, except fpr the party.

My 20th lvl, half-vampire Paladin of Tyranny (who ironically was in control of an empire bent on a human-only world) was designed to kill the bastard. So, what happened? After fighting 2 five headed hyrdas, 2 mountian trolls, a pair of Iron golems, and some mezzoloths he proceeded to kill the 20th lvl character in 5 rounds. He was level 13 and had one supporting character. He fled after when a Lich's servants came to ensuere the deal was kept, and the campaign ended there.

So, with just a bit of history to back up Voidform's description of that bastard do you now see why he is such a hated character? My only reamining option is a rogue with truestrike and one hell of a sneak attack!
Care to share his exact race, class make-up, feat selection and skill allocation, so we can make notes tell you if he's doing it legitamatly(sp?)? This could be interesting

[Khantalas]

299. Geekus Gynaeus.

Not really a bad player most of the time, but often ruins the game by distracting the normal (read: male) geeks. Has two particularly dangerous subspecies: geekus gynaeus glassus (female geek with glasses) and geekus gynaeus rougeus (redheaded female geek).

[erewhon]

This is in reference to Voidform's post about Bastian. I was the DM who kept getting the NPCs killed by Bastian.

Where to begin... Ah yes. Everyone hates him. The party wishes he would go away. The law is confused as to why they can't keep him in chains, and everything I make dies at his hands, every supposedly 'impossible' challenges.

Starting at level 3. He and a group of 2 other characters were out to find a contact with a theives guild, who they would kill. Bastian descended the ladder, charged through a room full of fighters sitting around drinking. Jumping he slammed both his feet into a door that was the only way out... and fell to the ground and was swarmed. So why is this so bad? To explain the the event simply he killed 11 fighters, and a 5th level half-ogre monk. The other two... they killed the two remaining fighters.

It isn't just that he has twitchy wrists that keep swords at bay, or that he has only been reduced to 2 hit points once. It is the fact that he doesn't know enemy or ally, except fpr the party.

My 20th lvl, half-vampire Paladin of Tyranny (who ironically was in control of an empire bent on a human-only world) was designed to kill the bastard. So, what happened? After fighting 2 five headed hyrdas, 2 mountian trolls, a pair of Iron golems, and some mezzoloths he proceeded to kill the 20th lvl character in 5 rounds. He was level 13 and had one supporting character. He fled after when a Lich's servants came to ensuere the deal was kept, and the campaign ended there.

So, with just a bit of history to back up Voidform's description of that bastard do you now see why he is such a hated character? My only reamining option is a rogue with truestrike and one hell of a sneak attack!

Heh. You're obviously thinking too small. :)

Give a sirrush maximum hit dice (and the pile of feats that brings) and the Paragon template, and have it eat him.

Short, sweet, to the point. :)

[Draco Ignifer]

299. Geekus Gynaeus.

Not really a bad player most of the time, but often ruins the game by distracting the normal (read: male) geeks. Has two particularly dangerous subspecies: geekus gynaeus glassus (female geek with glasses) and geekus gynaeus rougeus (redheaded female geek).

...You're complaining about WHAT? Seriously, give praise if Geekus Gynaeus joins the game; any distraction caused pales in comparison to the magnificent stabilizing influence that they assert on Geekus Andronus. A pure Andronus mix, in my experience, has always been a frightening thing to behold.

Or, in laymans' terms, female geeks exude sanity. Even when insane.

[Aimbot]

#237 - The Unclean

This player probally doesn't know what a shower is, and definatly has never used one, and your pretty sure that his brown voltron shirt used to be white...back in the 80s when he last washed it.

Dear god, what is it with Gamers and B.O? I'll never figure that one out.

[MrNexx]

Dear god, what is it with Gamers and B.O? I'll never figure that one out.

That's simple. Hygeine involves caring about your body. Many gamers have long since stopped. They've realized that their bodies aren't good to them, and so they don't see any reason to be good to their bodies... especially since it takes time away from their hobbies.

[Em]

The player who doesn't only refuse to roleplay, but COMPLAINS when OTHER PLAYERS roleplay. (Sorry if this has been previously posted)
"Honestly, LR33, why are you doing that? You're not taking this game very seriously." (supercilious tone)
"My character is not taking this rather silly situation very seriously, because she wouldn't!" He's playing a character who isn't a geeky, faceless, trigger-happy wizard and YOU CANNOT WRAP YOUR TINY MIND AROUND THIS (sorry.)

[Saph]

300. Captain Indecisive

No choice is easy for Captain Indecisive. He can spend five minutes deciding whether or not to have his fighter take a 5-foot step along with his full attack, whether he should take it before or after the attack, and which square he should move to. After the fifth or so time he does this, other players will start telling him what to do, which makes things worse as Captain Indecisive is unable to take an action unless everyone else in the party agrees on it.

301. Incompetent Strategist

This guy loves combat tactics, and barely a battle can go by without him recommending strategies, special moves, and combinations of actions the party should do. Unfortunately, he sucks at it, and always seems to either leave out one detail or get one part of the rules wrong. ("Oh, I forgot that the werewolf's going to his next turn before you have the chance to move out of range . . . um, guys, change of plans, you should actually have moved back again.")

A group cursed with both Captain Indecisive and Incompetent Strategist as members will take at least forty-five minutes, minimum, to get through even the simplest combat, making a fight that's supposed to be high-speed and tense so slow that you afford to take a nap between your character's turns. A combat round that takes only five seconds in-game will take at least fifteen minutes out of game, no matter how many times the GM shouts 'There's a dragon about to eat you, stop talking and do something!'

- Saph

[doliest]

302 The"play like i want"DM
This DM can't deal with different characters or things he hates,my example me and my DM play and i make a CE halfing ranger, he doesn't like it so his custom campaign is in his custom world where the starting country is run by paladins,it's legal for them to kill evil characters on sight,they have super powerful armor MECH,and even the guards are atleast lv 15,and i died twice before saying to heck with it and became chaotic neutral,then stopped out of boredom.

[Last_resort_33]

303: The fidget.
You are trying to explain a dramatic bit of plot and all you can hear is the annonying git who sits for the entire session putting 36d6 into their plastic box, rolling them, totalling them up and repeating, hundreds upon hundreds of times.

304: The thrower
It's someting that seems to come over people, a bit like a cold... some are more resiliant than others, usually it's only one person... but it can spread to a small group... That's right... if somthing is annoying them, angering them or if they are just plain bored... they will throw a dice at someone... dice throwing will ensue and it just becomes impossible... or you'll get some dice thrown at you for not seeing the funny side... I don't think I've ever been a 304; good thing too as I have metal dice.

305 Blames the GM
It's got high spell resistance, the Mage says "Well I can't do anything now.. I'll HAVE to give up my turn" as if it is a personal insult to him that this creature has SR, that I did it just to make him feel useless. Or "You made me take Water Breathing 6 times so of course I don't have any Fireballs", by "made him take it 6 times" he means that there are 6 peope in the party and there was a mention of things underwater by a minor NPC.

which leads onto
306: Misery Guts
"well... I can't do anything now"
I get this so much. This person is almost always a #305. Rather than thinking what they could do now they have found out that their particular specialised abilites are not good for a particular encounter, the barbarian with the +2 flaming burst axe against an Iron Golem (flame cures them, DR somthing like 15/adamantite) they will not think about what else they could do... they just sulk and declare themselves useless.
To take the example used in #305, this person would not look to see if they had any spells that could cause the celing to fall on top of the creature with SR, they would simply sulk.

[Narmoth]

304: The thrower
It's someting that seems to come over people, a bit like a cold... some are more resiliant than others, usually it's only one person... but it can spread to a small group... That's right... if somthing is annoying them, angering them or if they are just plain bored... they will throw a dice at someone... dice throwing will ensue and it just becomes impossible... or you'll get some dice thrown at you for not seeing the funny side... I don't think I've ever been a 304; good thing too as I have metal dice.
I throw pillows at players that say inapropriate things, mostly perverted and not funny things or very derailing things. Somehow my players axcept it and trow the pillow at me rather than leaving the table. It don't end in a pillow fight because I'm the only one that reseives the pillow in my hands rather than head, and can thereby supress the urge to throw again.

[wowy319]

The Matt DM

Named after what was quite possibly the worst campaign I ever was a part of. this type of DM either bends/ignores the rules, and is also generally out to get the PC's. Is liberal with cursed items and rapes the rules for skills (speak language checks. I wish I were joking). Let's not forget that he will screw up how a race is designed (for example, a kobold society that has not one intelligent member... that lives in trees). Gives PC's broken or ridiculous magic items and blames the PC's when they take down challenges. Railroad plots that you aren't even informed of are a must for the Matt DM. he will always have the same sort of villian (In his case, azers, bugbears and kobolds) regardless of what goes on. Doesn't even think to consult the Experience chart (200 xp for fighting a roomful of kobolds and goblins (approximately 40 and 30, respectively) at second level). completely illogical (if not impossible) occurances are regular (A single flask of alchemist's fire and one rat swarm wiping out every man, woman and child in a kobold city). Adjusts his NPC's on the fly (once he realizes that aforementioned rat swarm has DR 5/bludgeoning, the kobold who was previously armed with just a shortspear now has a greatclub that deals damage as a medium weapon; after a bunch of standard kobolds are fireballed in a room full of gunpowder, one of them all of a sudden is a "really big kobold" (sic) that is completely immune to most forms of damage)... I could go on and on, but I think I'm getting a tumor just remembering it.

Even worse is The Matt PC

This PC not only cheats, he *HAS* to be a certain (broken) race all the time (azers or bugbears in the case of the namesake), and never shows up if he can't be. tries to BS the DM into believing he rolled an 18 four times (in every campaign he's in), while the other two stats are never below 14. see also the "win at D&D" player. he has never read the rules other than the parts that interest him, and pulls rules out of his you-know-where. has no interest in roleplaying, always has to be fighting in order to be happy, and generally doesn't take the game seriously.

And in both cases, after every game, regardless of what others tell him, will go on and on about how awesome his plot/character was.

[Derrpe]

# 309 -- The Person That Should Have Paid Attention In Algebra

This player (or DM) is absolutely abysmal at math-- namely simple addition and subtraction.
He or she just may not have a good head for numbers. They always make their calculations out loud.
(Which could be a good thing, now that I think about it.)
If said player is a barbarian, he or she can't keep up with their strength and strength bonuses in and out of rage, and ends up with stupid results when using their power attack.

Typical combat talk:
"Well, I rolled a 19, plus my attack bonus of 24, because I power attacked for 8 so..."
"No, this is your second attack in a full attack; it's only at +19"
"Okay, so that's like a 48, plus 1 for prayer, plus 2 for heroism, so that's like 52, right?"
"..."

OR

"Okay, I rage, so now my strength is 47.."
"Whoa, hold on. How is it 47?"
"41, plus 6 for Rage."
"No, it started out as a 20, plus 2 for your gauntlets, plus 4 for bull's strength, plus 6 for rage, minus 1 for that poison that hit you today. That's 31. You forgot to take off the bull's strength Haedric cast on you yesterday, and you never lowered it back down from the encounter earlier today where you raged."
"No, I'm pretty sure it's 47. I can keep up with one number."
"..."

As a DM, this person tells you absolutely ridiculous damage amounts. Every party spot check is failed by every member of the party -- Even the druid with maxed out ranks in spot, and even when it makes absolutely no sense.

"It's a clear day -- no clouds or dust storms.And all of the sudden from out of nowhere, and Gargantuan Blue Dragon slams into the party from the sky, trapping Ansreth, Thurmaz, and Gail under..."
"Wait, I thought we were in the middle of the desert, on a clear day?"
"Yeah, but you failed your spot checks."
"The DC for that can't be very high. You said we were on a flat area, right? Ansreth has a spot of 19, Gail's is 23, and mine is 13. Did we all roll ones?"
"He was invisible."
"But Gail has a permanent "see invisibility" spell on."
"Okay." < Gail's player rolls a 13 > "You don't manage to spot it."
"How is that possi... Nevermind."

[MrNexx]

RE: The Matt DM
Personally, I've never liked the "If you speak a language you're perfectly fluent all the time" mechanic inherent in the speak language skill, and aboreal kobolds could work pretty well... though they have the danger of becoming scaly Ewoks.

Not defending him, just saying.

[Last_resort_33]

There should be more about learning languages in D&D. I could get the general Idea of a conversation in french, but I would not be able to discuss anything in detail... especially if the characters are starting off using Innuendo... oh wait that doesn't even exist now... what are you supposed to do instead... This calls for a new thread I think...

I acually did create it as a skill, but I said that when you had a +15 in it then you can speak fluently and don't need to make checks. DC was like the old innuendo skill

[danielf]

boring dice rollers players are the worst king

[Shazzbaa]

boring dice rollers players are the worst king
Oh, I disagree. If the worst problem is that they're boring, you can get over it: they should be very easy to ignore. It's when they're actually doing something that's wrenching you out of the game and you can't just ignore it that it becomes the worst thing for me.

[Aimbot]

#310 The guys who smack the table and knock down my dice towers.

There are only a few things I am truly good at, and one is stacking dice. Without looking I can stack dice like you could only dream of. I can actually stack d4s. The jealous bastards who feel the need to destroy my accomplishments with seismic attacks are the lowest of all lows. When I've managed to stack 30 dice of varying types while participating in combat I deserve a victory lap, not your ire.

[Jack_of_Spades]

#311 The "Black and White" guy.

There is no evil with good intentions to him. It's an evil wizrd because he used undead. Nevermind that the undead saved the town; he's evil and has to die.
Also never allows Chaotic or Evil PCs because they'll either side with the bad guy or be to "random" to fit ito the story.

[KazilDarkeye]

312:Sick guy

This player has numerous minor medical afflictions including a runny/blocked nose, cough or itching sores. They continually annoy people buy "conveniently forgetting" their medication and spend the whole time sniffing.

313Sick guy +

This player has a disease (sometimes contagious) what means that they shouldn't really be here. They should be at home in bed. It's not that they love DnD so much they can't bear the thought of missing a session (though they insist this), it's that they are either a mooch/just plain annoying.

314Sick guy ULTRA

Same as Sick guy+, except they are the incarnate of grossness. They could be oozing slime out of every orifice or asking other players to help them give themselves injections (shudder...) , or even getting other players to fetch them a bedpan.

315[B]Sick guy-[B]

Same as Sick guy+, but they fake this disease. Will sometimes make up a disease if they have to. When this happened to me he claimed each time to have:

Nervous Eyelid
Chickenpox
Swollen Uveulla?...Youvella?...The dangly bit at the back of the mouth (NB he doesn't even know what this is)
Chickenpox (again)
Pummel's disorder

[Jade_Tarem]

316: The Dynamic Duo (or Trio, or....): Two or more players that team up in terms of combo play in order to really raise the roof during combat. Often it involves a cleric and a lot of caffine.

Chickenpox squared? :P

[KazilDarkeye]

Yes, chicken pox to the power of 2. That was why it was so suspicious. It really REALLY p'ed me off.:smallfurious:

Oh...also:

317:The circus

This is a pair (or more) of people who do ridiculous things when it's not their turn.
These include, but are not limited to, picking each other up and swinging themselves around the room, or playing the 'who can hit the hardest competition'.

[Ali]

"boring dice rollers players are the worst king(Kind?)"

I know what you mean.

Player: I swing my sword ferouciously at the orc, aiming at his left leg.
Other Player: I close my left eye, taking aim with my longbow...
Boring Dice player: Well I rolled a 17 and did 9 damage, so I've pretty much finished that orc off for you guys. Oh look, I just rolled an 18 on a... um.. spot check! What do I see?
DM: The orc, right in front of you, that I described about 2 minutes ago.
Boring Dice player: 20!! Critical hit!! I did 14 damage, bye bye orc.

[Gorbad the Limb Rippa]

#319 the multi-multi classer
The guy who cant decide on a class so he plays a insectile goblin druid,fighter,rouge,wizard,shadow adept,devoted defender,fang of lolth named pablo.
pant...pant...wow,that was quite a mouth full.

though he does deserve credit 4 balancing it properly,

[Narmoth]

#320 The multiclass munchin (spelling?) failure.
This player wan't to win, not to roleplay. He (or she, but usually he) makes some insane combo that should give him an edge over the other players. He takes the aligment that he believes should let him do anything and the rase he sees as most powerfull as a player character. In the end, he insist to be the groups leader, even though because of his character, it's inpossible to make any plot-hooks for him, and he isn't interested in helping anyone because of aligment, background and playing style.
The player will from the start have spellcasting and thief abilities, maybee some healing and at the same time have his main class as some kind of warrior and have either chaotic or neutral evil as alligment. The rase is usually something flying or something regenerating big thing.
Funny enough, the character can be beaten up by anyone else in the group with less multiclassing as soon as more levels are reached, because the m.m.f.'s character take an enormous amount of Xp to level. :smalltongue:
Unlike the # 319, he doesn't do this because he don't know what to play, but because the only reason for him to play is to increase his characters power.

[Gorbad the Limb Rippa]

Narmoth-->
Thats what I call a Red Mage

[KazilDarkeye]

321:The Critic

This kind of player.. well let me show you:

Critic:I should get a bigger share of gold
Player: Why?
Critic: Well, Barbarian - Useless, I did all the fighting, you just got fatigued
Wizard - Boring choice of spells, I mean evocation + necromancy, like that hasn't been done before
Bard - What did you do besides heal I mean come on I wasn't dying


Usually these claims are unfounded (e.g he was dying and not 'resting his eyes')

[potatocubed]

#322: The Anti-Sherlock

It doesn't matter how obvious the clues are. It doesn't matter if an NPC feeds them the next location in conversation. Without being told, out of character, where they're supposed to be and what they're supposed to be doing, this player will do nothing but give you blank looks and complain about your boring adventure. :smallsigh:

[Viscount Einstrauss]

323- The Attention Deficit Team Killer
This guy will play a game fine for a good while, until suddenly he decides he's bored and doesn't want to play anymore. But does he just say so or leave the game? No, not without first ruining the game by wiping out the rest of the party in a whirwild of team killing!

It can be amusing if you're that guy, though.

[CuthroatMcGee]

324 The Overconfident
This player doesn't understand that there are some things a low level character can't do. These can show up for DMs or players. Once, I was a level 2 fighter, and I had to fight a ta'anari. Another time, a trio of level 2 fighter-characters tried to kill our level 16 fighter guide. These players often act like Matt PCs (especially the always fighting part) and like the circus. Also they don't act their alignment (I'm too lazy to look up that number), so they roleplay like all their characters do is kill monsters and threaten people.
325 The Improviser
I don't have anything wrong with house rules, but I do have a problem with a level two fighter being able to kill a demon. Or a ranger being able to kill three dwarven fighters at level one. Or that flat-footed enemies have no AC. A DM that adheres almost not at all to the rules makes the game impossible.

These may be on this list already, but I'm too lazy to find them.

[Vispear]

Dunno if this has been said or not..don't kill me if it has, but.

326, The "Logan"

The kind of player that refuses to do anything at all, unless it benefits him/her.
For example, you have to go kill a bunch of goblins, in a cave and get this guys book back, cause he's to lazy to go do it himself.

Unless there is something that is helpful to said character, say a weapon, armor item etc. Or something to do with his back story, he refuses to go. Therefore, you have to pay him to get him to go..really ****ing annoying if you ask me.

[Bryn]

Dunno if this has been said or not..don't kill me if it has, but.

326, The "Logan"

The kind of player that refuses to do anything at all, unless it benefits him/her.
For example, you have to go kill a bunch of goblins, in a cave and get this guys book back, cause he's to lazy to go do it himself.

Unless there is something that is helpful to said character, say a weapon, armor item etc. Or something to do with his back story, he refuses to go. Therefore, you have to pay him to get him to go..really ****ing annoying if you ask me.

Just say "Alright, don't go. We'll go off and play this game without you then... have fun sitting there for three hours!"

[Green Bean]

327, The ADHD Moviegoer

Like many who play Dnd, this player loves making characters based on the last movie he saw. However, this particular one refuses to make a new character. Upon leveling up, he picks whatever makes his character closest to the star of whatever he recently watched. Tends to only get partway up the feat tree before seeing another movie and changing his concept. Ends up with the only fighter/rogue with Two Handed Fighting, Two Weapon Fighting, Manyshot, Multishot, and Improved Unarmed Blow

[Serenity]

328: And the Kitchen Sink

If there is any possible way he can afford it and carry it, he has it. In D&D, he's the guy who has a full complement of first level scrolls. In d20 Modern, he buys absolutely everything on the list that is less than his wealth bonus. Probably has the Arms and Equipment Guide memorized.

[MrNexx]

328: And the Kitchen Sink

If there is any possible way he can afford it and carry it, he has it. In D&D, he's the guy who has a full complement of first level scrolls. In d20 Modern, he buys absolutely everything on the list that is less than his wealth bonus. Probably has the Arms and Equipment Guide memorized.

Hey, WBL is a wonderful thing... and it's amazing what blowing your WBL on portable holes, HHH, and portable holes can do for your carrying capacity.

[Serenity]

If that's an abbreviation of Wealth Bonus, what's the L stand for?

[Rex Idiotarum]

Wealth By Level, and it's not just for Bonus from d20 Modern, it's also the amount of Gold the DMG suggest each player has at a certain level.

[Serenity]

Ah, I see. Thank you.

[A Pointy Object]

329: The Secret Soap Opera

Not a single person, persay, but a group of players who plot against a single player they do not like. Using "subtle" means, they hint to the player that they are not wanted there, such as telling him or her the game is 'cancelled'
or that their ride 'forgot to show up'.

330: The Secretly (Obviously) Evil PC

This is the player that always plays a "neutral" character who has a strange motivation to enslave and/or kill the party. This character almost nearly plays an necromancer or cleric, using the "not all undead are evil" stick to scheme against your party.

[Rex Idiotarum]

###+1 The All Evil People Are Out to Kill the Party DM
The problem with people is that they can't accept evil people helping good people for some reason. Good People have faults, evil people may have values. You can't be evil, even though you got half the town murdered because all you cared about was getting vengeance on the BBEG

[Black Mage]

332: The Wizard:
This character always, without fail, makes a wizard, and thinks that even at level 1, he knows absolutely everything. He believes that his character has already traveled the planes and has dealt with magic and threats that none of the other characters (or even some epic characters) could imagine. He also thinks his character is the smartest person alive and knows everything. The person playing the character thinks he has access to every wizard spell in every book, without even asking the DM, and then when asked by the DM what the spell he is using does, he gives a brief description, usually leaving out or making up a few things.

333: The racist
This character hates every race other than his own. No matter what his alignment or where his character was raised, he hates everything that is not like him, which is typically everything other than humans. The character could have his life saved countless times by the parties halfling, he'll still hate the halfling and want him dead for some stupid reason or another.

I don't know if either of these have been mentioned, didn't have time to go through all the pages and posts. I deal with both of these people very often <_<

[Aimbot]

#334. The flighty DM:
So you're a few sessions into a nice solid campaign when all the sudden the DM decides to disband it. Why? Because he didn't like one small aspect of the game world. Wait three weeks for him to make a new world and make a new character. Repeat ad naseum and pray he never buys a different system.

[blackout]

335: The backstabber.

This is the guy who, when the odds seem hopelessly stacked against the party, starts TEAMKILLING. Not before, definitely not after. He either befriends the monsters and begins attacking, or waits for the monsters to die, and then when he thinks that there might be MORE encounters like that, he kills the now-weakened party and leaves the dungeon and goes back to town. Also referred to commonly around the table as the 'backstabbing ****tard.'

[TSGames]

#336 The Dormant Destroyer
This player is usually no threat. However, every once in a while this player decides to to power game and munchkin and when he does, he's not out to just be the strongest guy in the party or campaign world, he's out to completely annihilate the campaign.

[Doglord]

#337 The superhero

This guy is the strong one in the group of wizardly people who always finds a reason to stay in the previous room while the others get clobbered, just so he can burst in at the last second shouting "Here I am to save the day!"

Does not know why he gets dirty glances.

[Thorodin]

The guy who plays the game from outside the game. When a new player or Npc wants to join the group, he wants asks what their class and level and stats are, as though someone would actually refer to themselves as a 10th level fighter with 19 strength. When deciding whether to attack a monster, he flips through the monster manual to look up its stats and does a quick calculation of its average hit points and how much damage his weapon would probably do each turn.

[Ali]

#339 The Grappler
This fighter will bash an enemy untill they are nearly dead, then decides to hug them passionately on the floor. All he acomplishes by this is getting hit constantly by his own party who are trying to hit the enemy underneath him. After being bashed to half his hit points by his friends, he decides to chop the enemies head off.


“#83 - The Mathematically challenged.”

IT’S ME!!!

[NEO|Phyte]

#339 The Grappler
This fighter will bash an enemy untill they are nearly dead, then decides to hug them passionately on the floor. All he acomplishes by this is getting hit constantly by his own party who are trying to hit the enemy underneath him. After being bashed to half his hit points by his friends, he decides to chop the enemies head off.
easily solvable, remind the players that random grappler hit chance only applies to ranged attacks. if they are busy shooting into a grapple, they clearly hate the player/character

[Viscount Einstrauss]

340- The Vampire
Now, I'm not talking about the undead template. I mean the guy with an undeniable bloodlust. He likes to call out enemies he wants to finish off, and is angered by anyone who dares steal the finishing blow from him. He comes up with somewhat disturbing methods of ending his foes, and has on several ocassions either eaten them afterwards or come up with very disgusting uses for the corpses, in part or whole. Think necromancer without actually being a necromancer and a severe mental health issue.

[CrazedGoblin]

#339 The Grappler
This fighter will bash an enemy untill they are nearly dead, then decides to hug them passionately on the floor. All he acomplishes by this is getting hit constantly by his own party who are trying to hit the enemy underneath him. After being bashed to half his hit points by his friends, he decides to chop the enemies head off.

that was so funny in that campaign, i was sitting in my cage (don't ask) just watching and silently laughing :P

[Woot Spitum]

#341 The Suicidal Troublemaker
This guy's goal in playing seems to be getting killed, usually dragging the rest of the party with him. Everything from trying to pick the pocket of the captain of the town guard after he and large contingent of guards have already accosted the party and are taking them in for questioning because they look like suspicious troublemakers, to attacking the evil villain who is has just been introduced and is supposed to be the recurring mastermind that the party will eventually challenge MUCH later in the campaign while he's monologuing about how the party is too weak to merit his attention as a threat and is willing to simply warn them to simply stop meddling in his affairs, thus taking the DM so completely surprised and unprepared for this turn of events that the entire campaign is irrepairably wrecked, he's willing to try it simply because he's explained that his character has a wisdom penalty and he's just trying to play in character by periodically doing EXTREMELY foolish things.

[Maltrich]

115: Mr. Lucky

This is the worst one, because you can't even get mad at him. It's like playing with an incredibly overpowered munchkin who can do ANYTHING HE WANTS. When he wants to do something totally retarded, 20s, his stats are legit rolled 18 17 18 15 17 18, on his SECOND roll (after he rolled 6 18s). No matter what he does he statistically succeeds it, saves, skill checks, everything, because the d20 is his bitch.

And theres nothing you can do...

This is why I don't use systems with random starting stats anymore. I know one of these, and you can only let him roll six 18s so many times... his luck only holds with character generation, fortunately.

[Shazzbaa]

I was going back and reading some of the older entries into this list (about cross-gender characters) and realised something.

In my college group, gender-bending happened rather naturally. There are a lot of girls and several of them just decided to play guys, and there weren't any problems with it -- we'd even refer to the proper pronoun in-character after about a month or so.
And in this group, all my characters have been girls.

In my group back home, gender-bending is a rare thing. The guys always play guys, so the only girl in the group always played a girl, as she generally ends up being the only one. They're extremely thrown-off by gender-bending, and can't seem to get the hang of calling someone by the opposite pronoun.
In this group, all my characters have been guys.

...I'm not doing it on purpose. It just seems to happen that all of my character ideas seem to fit the gender role most contrary to the group I'm in. ^^;


But I have to admit it's fun to constantly remind the rest of the players, "I'm a man!"

[Darkshade]

#11 - Greedy-fingers McCoy

This player cannot abide the rest of his party having more money than him. In fact, if he had it his way, they'd have no money and all of it would go to him for things he wants to buy, assuming he'd even purchase something at all. D&D for him isn't an adventure game, it's a bank simulation game. He will lie, cheat, manipulate and even apply a few Sleight of Hand and Bluff checks to make sure that the majority of the money and magic items go to him and not the rest of the party. Such players are almost always rogues, though any class sufficiently sneaky in nature will often do for them.

I want to ask if someone falls into this category or if you guys would call him something different okay the set up...
2nd edition, 3rdish level, first meeting
player 1 is a wemic Fighter
player 2 is a half-elf Wizard
player 1 and player 2 go out adventuring together and come upon a band of goblins holed up in an abandoned church, player 1 charges in and starts laying waste to the goblins, player 2 stays outside using magic missile when he can see a good target, player 1 starts running out of hp yet valiantly fights on, player 2 decides to enter the building when there are only a couple goblins left. player 1 finished the boss goblin leaving only one weeny. weeny goblin knocks player 1 out. player 2 kills weeny goblin and stabilizes unconscious player 1. Player 2 then searches the lair and finds the few hundred gold pieces and hundred silver pieces and a handful of coppers. when player 1 wakes up player 2 gives him all the coppers saying that thats all the goblins have and because the wemic worked so hard he wanted him to have all the coins this time. player 1 knew exactly what happened out of character but in character he had to go around feeling good about his knew friend who is so nice to him.


player 1 was my friend charles



player 2 was...
how do you do spoiler?
whatever, player 2 was my father, he later asked me to join the darkside whatever that means

[Matthew]

{Spoiler}ABC{/spoiler}

Nah, sounds like they were just roleplaying. It depends how long it persists and the actual motivation behind cheating the other Player Character.

[Raool]

I actually read all the pages of this thread. :smallamused:

[Narmoth]

I was going back and reading some of the older entries into this list (about cross-gender characters) and realised something.

In my college group, gender-bending happened rather naturally. There are a lot of girls and several of them just decided to play guys, and there weren't any problems with it -- we'd even refer to the proper pronoun in-character after about a month or so.
And in this group, all my characters have been girls.

In my group back home, gender-bending is a rare thing. The guys always play guys, so the only girl in the group always played a girl, as she generally ends up being the only one. They're extremely thrown-off by gender-bending, and can't seem to get the hang of calling someone by the opposite pronoun.
In this group, all my characters have been guys.

...I'm not doing it on purpose. It just seems to happen that all of my character ideas seem to fit the gender role most contrary to the group I'm in. ^^;


But I have to admit it's fun to constantly remind the rest of the players, "I'm a man!"

To play a girl in a medieval "realistic" setting can often be a problem, as women wasn't alloved to do anything. I really like to create a realistic medieval world for my players, and i solved this by saying that elves, contrary to humans (in the medieval periopd that is) don't discriminate women, which lets me keep the unfriendly flawor of my campaigns, and lets my little sister (oly girl in group, allways play an elf anyway) play how she wants. :smallsmile:
I think I would feel it as werry weird if someone in my group (or any group I played with, but mostly the people I play with now) wanted to play as somenone of the oposite sex. Also, I think they would play girls this way:
http://goblinscomic.com/d/20050819.html
http://goblinscomic.com/d/20050820.html

[Narmoth]

340- The Vampire
Now, I'm not talking about the undead template. I mean the guy with an undeniable bloodlust. He likes to call out enemies he wants to finish off, and is angered by anyone who dares steal the finishing blow from him. He comes up with somewhat disturbing methods of ending his foes, and has on several ocassions either eaten them afterwards or come up with very disgusting uses for the corpses, in part or whole. Think necromancer without actually being a necromancer and a severe mental health issue.

solved by sending the "paladin guard of the monastery of the mentally ill" after him and letting them take him into custody to treat him for his "antisocial" behavior :smallbiggrin:

[KoDT69]

#342 Gotta Watch My Own Back

This player ALWAYS plays 2 or more PC's claiming he just likes having a variety in EVERY campaign. His 2 PC's are ALWAYS the best of friends, would take a death for the other, share gold and equipment, and always compelled to check on the other when separated. This would be metagaming mostly - one's in trouble the other just has to rush to the rescue even if the PC could not know what's going on. The 2 PC's are always dual/multiclass also to cover every useful ability from the 4 main character types. One is normally a Fighter/Cleric and the other a Sorc/Rogue - mix and match those 4 classes.

My brother is this guy. He is very very dense. He's the same guy that refuses to understand why a halfling fighter with a belt of strength +4 can't dual-weild greatswords. His argument - the character is STRONG enough to swing them freely. Hmm nice try butt-head but a 3 foot character can NOT swing 2 swords standing 5 feet each with any kind of great skill, besides, there is Monkey Grip for that. Take the negatives or shut your pie-hole :smallfurious:

[Indon]

We finished a campaign about 2 months ago with one of these players - if this player rolled badly (as in, anything under about a 13), she would 'punish' her dice by putting them in the freezer...

You know, I may well have known that exact person in high school. I can't imagine many people doing it.

In any case:

I'm surprised these variants of the 'lucky player/DM' have not been mentioned yet.

#343 - Critical Miss Man

This player simply has spectacularly bad luck. In combat, he will roll consecutive critical misses, while weak enemies often critically hit him. Even if he runs an optimized character, the DM may find himself needing to fudge rolls just to keep this character alive.

#344 - Critical failure DM

This DM is a variant on the Critical Miss Man; his zombies will stumble about rather than grapple you due to bad die rolls, his BBEG never beats the monk's SR, and his 10'th level wizards hit you with 15-damage Fireballs. He is often forced to fudge in NPC favor just to keep encounters interesting.

[Viscount Einstrauss]

Yep, I'm a 344. I stopped rolling where the players could see it just so I could start fudging towards the NPC's favor. Now I have a highly aggravating PC that doesn't believe me when I say something bad happens to them and often demands to know the dice roll (which I typically don't tell him. He shouldn't know anyway).

[Aoln the Wise]

#345 The damned power gamer

The one that always has simple solutions to everything:
"Burn the forest, so the druids AND the orcs are going to die !"
"Ok guys, I bought ALL the stuff and equipment in the PHB and I can carry it all without penalties because I'm a dwarf !"
" DM- Okay you are in front of the big locked door, what do you guys do ? #345 - I've got the ram in my backpack !"

[Halfling_Pirate]

#346 - The "Thank Me Later" DM

This DM will put your character in ridiculous circumstances, and as you valiantly try to make the best of it and start losing, he'll heave a sigh and make something special happen, "just to keep things moving." Well, if you hadn't put me in those ridiculous circumstances in the first place, you wouldn't have had to create MORE circumstances to nullify the ones you created.

True Story: After being captured by a tribe of yuan-ti, my 3rd level wizard was forced to fight a melee duel to the death. He was not allowed to prepare any spells, and the battle was fought against their best warrior, in a giant whirlpool with scant rocks to jump to and fro from. Irritated, I tried a jump check (untrained) and fell into the water, where i was swept into a bottomless pit for certain death. The DM heaved a sigh and said, "Ok, a geyser which has never erupted before and will never again suddenly erupts in a fountain of cool water, pushing you back up. Now, try again." Wow, thanks.

#347 The "Melee Chauvnist" DM
This DM gives the 1st level dwarven fighter a +5 vorpal waraxe and +3 spiked full plate, but the party wizard has to spend thousands of gp on paper and ink, as well as weeks scribing a simple spell, because he feels these rules more accurately reflect the difficulty of magic and its use.

[Darkshade]

#348 The guy who is only here for the first half of the meeting
This is the guy who has to leave early today, so he doesnt really care what happens after he goes, sometimes he doesnt do anything dumb, sometimes he will actually kill the plot point then say have fun and leave and every once in a while he will be the only one awake to notice some kind of weird magical thing and make his save, then he will wake up every other party member, one at a time, so that they can all fail their saves while he leaves.

[wowy319]

#349 - the hypocrite

This is the guy who will rally around one phrase whenever you do something, usually "don't try to contradict the DM!" Then, the moment he has something go badly for him, he does the very thing he told you not to.

#350 -- "I don't metagame!"

hey know things they can't possibly know. they rush to situations they didn't see, pulling some crapola story out of the air or debating with the DM about how they "had to have seen at least something."
Example: I was trying to apprehend a party member who had stolen the last 200 GP from a poor family. I was a half-dragon and used my breath weapon on him; a 60 foot line of lightning. This guy was at the tavern on the other side of town trying to get someone tro hire him. He said hew was in the streets; all of a sudden, he was on the roof. He *had* to have seen the flash of the lightning! So, he comes to the area and prepares to shoot an arrow at me the second he sees me, when he has no reason to believe I was responsible fo the flash. He claims to not be metagaming. My blood pressure rises to dangerous new levels.

[GuesssWho]

#79 The player that has to be an incredibably rare or strange character and never plays a normal person ((Long...))

This player always chooses a Half-celestial monk who dyes her wings black to stay stealthy or perhaps a druid with a strange animal companion who has a bizarre background and is not involved with the druid community or such. I played with my friend who refused to just play a core race and ALWAYS had to be amazingly different, not to powergame, just for RP values.

That's me!
What? I just like monsters!

[Darkshade]

i like playing half celestial pala-monks.
course i dont die my wings black, in fact i usually apply potions of light to them. :)

[Slurg]

351: The metagaming Whore bag

Much like 350 except this person metagames, and then doesn't believe it when someone tells him he metagamed. He than continues to metagame, to the brink of my patience and at one point I will kill him!!

352: The complicated character race player

this person has to pick the most random and confusing race possible to play. This race is normally a strong race that will make the rest of the party look like tools.

[Shazzbaa]

352: The complicated character race player

this person has to pick the most random and confusing race possible to play. This race is normally a strong race that will make the rest of the party look like tools.

I think we've had at least three different incarnations of this one. :smallwink:

I wonder if it counts if you depend primarily on templates.... I mean, I'll play a human... he's just never quite human. :smalltongue:

[Turcano]

I think we've had at least three different incarnations of this one. :smallwink:

I think we've had at least three different incarnations of everything on this list.

[Sage in the Playground]

I think we've had at least three different incarnations of everything on this list.

Probably. So divide by three for the real number.

[Takayama]

I'm not sure if something like this has been mentioned but here it goes.

353- The David. This character has to be the most annoying person in the world. He wants to make a Half-centaur Angel Druid Spirit. His first character was a Halfling Monk who did 1D4 -2 damage. This person makes us cringe every time we hear his name. We even renamed the Book of Savage Species to the Davidnomicon. God forbid he gets a hold of it because the world of D&D will collapse.

[Brauron]

354: "You're doing this all wrong!" -- usually occurs when two people accustomed to DMing start dating, and one of them is playing in the other's campaign. The DM who is playing starts arguing with the DM who is running about every ruling the DM makes, contesting rules, and generally trying to say, subtly, that the DM who is running the game is not a good DM.

My group has one of these right now. Last night her big fit was about the Wealth By Level chart. The guy running the game doesn't really go by it, and this upsets his girlfriend. She sulked through the second half of last night's session, and afterwards blew up, screaming at him for A) getting her character's gender pronoun wrong (she plays a very effeminate male elf with a lot of female characteristics) -- this is the 30th or so time she's chosen to pick a fight over this. And B) because she always uses the WBL chart as an ironclad method of determining how much gp a party should get, while he is convinced it works better as a set of guidelines.

[Viscount Einstrauss]

Sigh. One of my players is exactly like that. Or, used to be, anyway. Until I basically started laying the ground rule "If I make a mistake in a ruling that wasn't a simple error, that's because it's how it works now. RAW means nothing to me! Bwahaha!"

He then proceeded to skip two sessions, and the group actually got along better without him. We'll see if he's changed any tonight :D

[Nahal]

I gamed with a textbook 354. Aside from being a complete bonehead, he was a dice-nazi playing in a game DM'ed by an expert storyteller who uses the rules to provide a framework for the plot (which is always incredibly complex, highly nonlinear, and light on combat. Especially with the way I roll :smallbiggrin: when we're in danger.). His biggest complaint about the campaign, and the reason he didn't ask to join our most recent one? Not enough rolling. Granted, none of us wanted him there (everybody had gotten sick of him ruining our chances of "getting the good ending," so to speak, by playing like Miko on PMS).

Sidenote; Brauron, I've read that sig about 20 times and it's still hilarious.

[Brauron]

Thanks, it's an actual quote from one of our gaming sessions. The elf (played by #354) made several discriminatory comments towards my barbarian, including disparaging remarks about my barbarian's mother, and angered the barbarian whacked him upside the head with the flat of his axe.

I DMed a game tonight, so that we had something to do while Rob's roommate (Rob being our D&D DM) and my roommate and pretty much every one else in our residence hall watched the Super Bowl. I ran a one-shot of d20 Macho Women with Guns, and JP (aka 354) was actually very well-behaved, didn't pick the world apart, didn't bitch about my awkward DMing style (it was only my second time DMing ever) or anything....actually, she was better behaved than Rob, who built a twinked out character that was abrasive, obnoxious and who felt like an attempt to break the game. Didn't help anything that this character reminded me greatly of my ex-girlfriend.

But ultimately everyone had fun, and JP can't wait to play again.

[HealthKit]

#355: The 3.0 player
First started playing dnd with 3.0.
Has not upgraded to 3.5 and does not intend to. Repeatedly cites 3.0 rules and expects everyone to go along with them.
Playing a druid who want's to cast Call Lightning indoors? Sorry, can't do that- see, it says here in the 3.0 players guide you have to be outdoors.
Same druid wants to cast Call Lightning outdoors? Sorry, can't do that, the weather has to be stormy already. See, it says here in the 3.0 players guide.

#356: The DM that goes along with the 3.0 player
Pretty self explanitory, the DM just sides with the 3.0 player. Mainly because the 3.0 player actually has more experience than they do and just assumes that they're right, even when 3.5 rules are pointed out to be contradictory.

[Brauron]

Healthkit -- sounds like my group in reverse. Rob the DM uses 3.0 because he prefers it to 3.5 for a couple reasons, and JP, his girlfriend who has DMed on occasion, uses the 3.5 PHB when arguing rules and calls with him.

[LotharBot]

#357: the enthusiastic dropout

When you're arranging a new group, he's so excited about it he can hardly contain himself. When you get everyone together to plan out where you'll meet, what you'll eat, who will DM, who'll bring miniatures, etc. he volunteers to cover whatever he can (and has been playing long enough he could do it all.) When people are deciding what characters to play, he offers advice and works on making sure the party is balanced. When everyone agrees on a location, campaign setting, DM, party members, etc., he seems like he's going to jump out of his chair. And then, 20 minutes before the first playsession, when he e-mails with some lame excuse like "Tuesday nights aren't good for me" or "it's too far for me to drive" and drops out of the group entirely, leaving you shorthanded.

[Golthur]

#357: the enthusiastic dropout

When you're arranging a new group, he's so excited about it he can hardly contain himself. When you get everyone together to plan out where you'll meet, what you'll eat, who will DM, who'll bring miniatures, etc. he volunteers to cover whatever he can (and has been playing long enough he could do it all.) When people are deciding what characters to play, he offers advice and works on making sure the party is balanced. When everyone agrees on a location, campaign setting, DM, party members, etc., he seems like he's going to jump out of his chair. And then, 20 minutes before the first playsession, when he e-mails with some lame excuse like "Tuesday nights aren't good for me" or "it's too far for me to drive" and drops out of the group entirely, leaving you shorthanded.

This describes my stepbrother perfectly - super keen, then drop out lamely. I've put myself on the line numerous times to get him into a game, only to have him ditch when something comes up that's more interesting. :furious:

[Viscount Einstrauss]

I have TWO 357's in my present campaign. The originators of the idea to play, in fact, and one of them was supposed to DM. They set up pretty much everything, all I was doing was giving advice.

Then, THE DAY that we were supposed to play for the first time, they ditch (and have never come to a single session, ever. Either one). So there were three of us left out in the cold. Instead, I said "No, screw you guys! I've been preparing to play D&D for the last month, and so help me god, I am going to play D&D right now!"

So I quickly assembled three other players, became DM, and ad libbed a campaign in an hour. How well was my ad libbing?

Well, we began playing in November, and we've met every Sunday (with the exceptions of Christmas Eve and New Year's, which met on Saturday) since, with about 8 encore sessions during the weekdays :)

[clockwork warrior]

I'm not sure if something like this has been mentioned but here it goes.

353- The David. This character has to be the most annoying person in the world. He wants to make a Half-centaur Angel Druid Spirit. His first character was a Halfling Monk who did 1D4 -2 damage. This person makes us cringe every time we hear his name. We even renamed the Book of Savage Species to the Davidnomicon. God forbid he gets a hold of it because the world of D&D will collapse.
you didnt play with david, so you dont know the half of it

here is the real deal

353 the david (revisited) also called a super noob
anyone dubbed "the david" is a person who, after there first game, gets so geeked up about playing, that they go to buy/download every book they can find. this person then proceeds to tell you every chance they can how much they love the game, and how they read such and such book, and totally want to play this class with this race, or this this class with that race, and proceed to talk even when you stop listening. they also talk about the game rules, but tend not to understand them, so you end up correcting them a lot. beyond being an out of game annoyance, he also HAS to tell you about how he wants to be a (insert long list of templates and random classes) like a halve dragon/centaur/angle druid psion... at first level

this person almost ruined table top gaming for me, i had to take a 3 month break after we gamed with him

[MeklorIlavator]

#358. The narcoleptic

This person will not do what is expected. If the town is under attack, he will go off and sleep somewhere else, even when his talents would be appreciated. If he does manage to show up for combat, he will do random stuff, like "I throw the coin at the enemy" even if it is obvious that we could use some help taking this guy down.

[Shazzbaa]

#355: The 3.0 player
First started playing dnd with 3.0.
Has not upgraded to 3.5 and does not intend to. Repeatedly cites 3.0 rules and expects everyone to go along with them.
Playing a druid who want's to cast Call Lightning indoors? Sorry, can't do that- see, it says here in the 3.0 players guide you have to be outdoors.
Same druid wants to cast Call Lightning outdoors? Sorry, can't do that, the weather has to be stormy already. See, it says here in the 3.0 players guide.

*laughs* This sounds familiar....

Actually, my friends aren't that bad. They just knew the 3.0 rules so well that they didn't necessarily check up on all the changes. There've been a lot of times where I (since I was just learning the game) poked my DM asking, "Hey, don't attacks of opportunity work like this?" And he's gone "No, they -- wait...." and after comparing the 3.5 PHB with the 3.0 PHB we realised there had been a change he hadn't realised.

I may well know the 3.5 rules better than most of them just because I started out in 3.5. Well, ...that and I'm a dork who studies more for a D&D game than I do for an Art History exam...

[Talyn]

#344 - Critical failure DM

This DM is a variant on the Critical Miss Man; his zombies will stumble about rather than grapple you due to bad die rolls, his BBEG never beats the monk's SR, and his 10'th level wizards hit you with 15-damage Fireballs. He is often forced to fudge in NPC favor just to keep encounters interesting.

Heh. I, unfortunately for my party, am the Critical Success DM... just last night I think my average roll on a d20 was around a 15 or 16. My players regularly have their asses handed to them by easy-to-moderate fights...

I've fudged several battles to keep my PCs ALIVE! It's nuts. How come I never roll that well when I'm a player, huh!?

[ObsidianRose]

358 The Annoyomancer:
For those of you who have seen my homebrew PrC on the forums, this is the guy that always plays one. He insists on using the most humorous equivalent, loading into perform comedy, screwing over the party because its humorous, being a tranny, and generally doing things that'd have his friends going "Oh ****, I hope he doesn't get caught, I don't know this guy" as he probably slips a glass of horse urine onto the lord's dining table

359:Planet of Tarrasques: The DM who decides to make an adventure impossibly tough without reason or too tedious, based simply on the fact that a preprinted adventure depends on it

360 I'm Not Good: The opposite of I'm Not Evil, this is the guy that started out playing Neutral Good bards or reasonable kind paladins with a streak of roguishness who have been accused of always playing the same character, so he decides to make the meanest, nastiest blackguard or fallen paladin, and tries ot stomp babies but obviously looks uncomfortable, so he ends up helping orphans or nursing kittens or even dying to defend his friends, and always protests with "I can't be neutral good! *Stomp*"

[Arlanthe]

359 Superstitious Reinforcer: This player believes in "luck" as a permanent attribute, and has ascribed luck values to other players and the DM. The superstitious reinforcer makes statements such as "this player is a high roller" or "this person always flubs attack rolls, but does well with skill checks" or "this is a lucky D12 that rolls high".

The reinforcer's superstitions are vocally touted when their roll prophecies are validated, and conveniently ignored when they do not conform to expectations.

[LotharBot]

#362 Wild Roller
Can't keep his dice on the table. Can't even keep his dice near the table. Tries to read his die that's sitting crooked in the carpet, or under the sofa, in somebody else's lap, or behind the piano. For some reason, he always plays either a rogue or a blaster and has to roll 10d6 on a regular basis.

[marnen]

Great thread! Sorry to respond to an old post, but it gave me such a laugh to read this:

#251 - Your own spouse or significant other in your own game.

Having this sort of person in the game causes a lot of problems. First off, a lot of other players will think anything good that happens to the #251 is due to favoritism. Anything bad that happens to them tends to make the DM suffer for the next week or two, or even end the relationship.
I'm not a DM, but my fiancée is. I guess I should consider myself lucky that the people I play with all trust each other enough that I don't think the charge of favoritism enters anyone's head.

Actually, the situation is even screwier than this. Not only is my fiancée (C) a DM, but so is her boyfriend O (we're polyamorous). In fact, I think C and O are the only RPGA-certified DMs in our group, so if we're playing an RPGA mod, it's virtually certain that one of them will be running it. Even more amusing, O's wife S usually plays as well. This means that the DM at any given time is virtually guaranteed to have at least one SO playing a PC, and often two. Fortunately, we all seem to deal with this pretty well...

#252 - Your significant other in someone else's game with you.

This is a true test of your SO's (and your own) control issues. At some point in time, one of you is going to have their character do something the other one doesn't want it to do. Maybe one will flirt with another PC. Or an NPC. Or hire a prostitute. Or steal a bit of treasure. Or make a really unwise, but character-valid decision. And that's when the poo hits the fan.
This was even funnier, because I just had this happen. Some background: O was DM, C was playing a paladin, I was playing a bard, and S had some other character with lots of charisma who had evolved into our party's other diplomat. So S and I were trying to be diplomatic and talk our way out of a fight (it was kind of a last-ditch effort, but still...). Then comes C's action. As a good paladin should, she detected evil on the guy we were negotiating with and promptly charged, pretty well killing the negotiation. I think both my character and I cringed, but it was good role-playing on C's part, so I really couldn't argue...

[Narmoth]

363 "rules don't apply to me"

This is a player that believes rules don't apply to his character if they are unfavorable and insists that rules that are favorable for his character must be obeyed.
This is mostly a problem of a heavy homeruled campaign, where what rules will be used, what rules will be ignored and what new rules apply before the game start. This player will claim that his mage should be able to cast a spell he memorized, even though we use a manabased system (like in diablo) and he has run out of mana.

[marnen]

#362 Wild Roller
Can't keep his dice on the table. Can't even keep his dice near the table.
I've played with his big brother:
#364 Godzilla
Rolls to the middle of the battle mat. Repeatedly. Using oversized dice. Which knock the minis out of place. Continues to do so even when other players ask him after every roll to find some other way of rolling his dice.

Unfortunately, I'm not exaggerating. At least he was a decent player otherwise.

[HealthKit]

I've played with his big brother:
#364 Godzilla
Rolls to the middle of the battle mat. Repeatedly. Using oversized dice. Which knock the minis out of place. Continues to do so even when other players ask him after every roll to find some other way of rolling his dice.


Does he at least keep the Indiana Jones refrences to a minimum?

[Deus Mortus]

#365 Mister Pride
He says he has played D&D since it came out (which is odd, since he wasn't alive when it came out) and that he will "own" anyone of the other players and the DM in the process too. Often tries things that obviously won't work and when it won't work he tells the DM he sucks, dies numerable time and is never invited back to the game group after that first session.

[Raool]

Sounds like a keeper.

[brian c]

Curious Person:

PC who inquires about meaningless details given by the DM, disregarding the actual plot of the adventure

DM: "You are in a large cavern with crystal formations. There is a large iron door at the other side of the cavern."

PC: "I examine the crystals. Can I roll appraise to see how much they're worth? I happen to have a mining pick with me"

DM (frustrated because this happens all the time) : "Those are explosive crystals. They explode on you. Make a new character."

[Bryn]

^ I don't know, that sounds like a perfectly reasonable thing to do (character dependant). The DM didn't exactly give much reason to go through the door. I certainly wouldn't want to play with a DM who killed my character if I didn't do what he wanted me to. I would have gone through the door anyway, given time.

[Wolf53226]

I'm hoping Brian_c's description is just a real short and basic one, because I agree, if you told me that the cavern was filed with crystal formations, I would sure want to know what kind of crystals and how prevalent, and maybe about a half-dozen other questions. It seems like it COULD be important.

#362? Wild Roller should play WEG Star Wars, it's all d6 based, everyone has 10d6 in a bunch of stats.

[Lot]

The "Rub-it-in" DM:

The DM creates an open-ended situation, often vague on details, and has the PCs act according to this limited information. When the PCs do something unexpected or based on false impressions, the DM has something bad happen to them. The problem is, the DM will continually bring it up throughout the rest of the adventure, either speaking through an NPC or out-of-game. He or she will use phrases like "it's not my fault that you did something so stupid" or "I can't believe you thought that would work." The DM will constantly chuckle at the player's inability to read his mind and try to embarrass him for this mistake, often many sessions later. The DM is never in any way responsible for the mix-up or mistake.

[HealthKit]

I'm sorry, but if you place a character in a room full of what anyone would assume to be items of considerable value, what do you expect to happen?

If it happens all "the time", then why do you make it happen? No offense, but if can't single out the important details from the fluff/atmosphere then you need to adjust accordingly.

If you ask me this is how it should have went:

DM: "You are in a large cavern with crystal formations. There is a large iron door at the other side of the cavern."

PC: "I examine the crystals. Can I roll appraise to see how much they're worth? I happen to have a mining pick with me"

DM: "Sure, make an appraise check"

*roll*

PC: "I rolled a-"

DM: "Doesn't matter, upon close inspection you can easily tell that the crystals possess little to no value and seem to decor the cavern for purely aesthetic values. Any attempt to remove them will prove futile- they easily crumble and break apart, rendering them useless. Nothing else in the cavern catches your attention... aside from the large iron door that beckons to be opened"


...Or something like that.

[Arlanthe]

364. The Absurd Dice Liar: Tells outrageous stories about astronomically improbable dice events- of which they have many. "She rolled max damage on a full 10 die fireball! (1:60E6)"; "All four of us rolled 100%! (1:1.0E9); "No kidding, I rolled seven "ones" on attack rolls in a row! (1:1.28E9)"; "He rolled four eighteens on his first five natural stats rolls! (1:470E9)".

All having odds of millions or billions to one- yet have all been witnessed by the Absurd Dice Liar. Several times, apparently.

[Kyrsis]

The Rules Lawyer, can't stand them. I know it was mentioned, but hey, whatever.
We also have in my group -
The Chatter Box (don't know if this type was mentioned)
Always talking, especially out of character, and will drag the game down with 'oh that reminds me of (insert movie quote, video game reference, etc) every chance he gets.

[Ashildr_the_Bard]

The guy who always has to play the dark, brooding hero character, but does it so badly that you just want to strangle him.

[Ninja Chocobo]

I had trouble with chatter-boxes. That's why I'm getting a gavel.
Ironically, in the meantime we use the Holy Grail "Get on with it" line/s.

[Xerillum]

368) The PC who never leaves the bedroom :smallwink:

This type of gamer always finds the nearest hooker, and never stops flirting.

Considered very dangerous to the sanity.

[Brauron]

Another from my group...

369: Captain Vindictive: Related to #354, usually a DM who, when one of their players starts their own campaign, will play, but only to pick that player's campaign apart, dispute DM calls and rulings, and generally being an ass.


Explanation: JP, the 354 in my group, is starting her own campaign, which will have a very strong emphasis on cultural interaction. All the characters or orcs, half-orcs or goblins, living in an orc village, whose foraging grounds are being invaded by an expanding human nation. Rob, the DM for our usual D&D campaign, deciding to be petty and childish instead of mature, is playing in her game solely to be a 354 and "let her know how it feels."

[Ravenscroft]

PC: "I examine the crystals.
Can I roll appraise to see how much they're worth?
I happen to have a mining pick with me"

I have a player like this.
My response is something along the lines of :
DM : Your pick is unable to scratch the crystals as they are extremely hard.
PC : I try breaking a piece off.
DM : It is too strong , even if you take 20 on a Strength check.

(meanwhile , the rest of the party has continued to the Iron Door ,
checked for traps , etc and gone through the door)

DM : These crystals are utterly fascinating , the light reflected in them forms
scintillating patterns
that seem to have meaning the more you study them.
Make a Will save.
Fail means paralysis , Save means that "voices" in the crystal start talking to you.

(Party has continued to the encounter , i leave the curious player with his new "friends" and run a combat)

I deliberately prepare some oddity for this player.
They have missed a few encounters , and thus getting XP and/or treasure.
Slowly he is getting the hint about being too curious.
Other players get attention , so he doesn't significantly slow things down.

Except for the Iron Door part , this player, asked exactly the same question in a cave full of crystals.

[Raistlin1040]

The gamer who upstages others
When I was a DM in my second full game I had 7 players in my party. Originally we had 6 but another guy wanted to join. He was a bit younger than us (We were all 13-14 and he was 12) but we let him play and he played a great Ranger. But the player of our rogue didn't like the new guy playing well. So he'd run in after the ranger had almost killed a monster and steal the kill. He'd then say "I killed him so it's my loot" The kid playing the ranger kept on doing his job, but the rogue always would take the loot and share it with the other members but not the Ranger. I seriously considered killing off his character but the kid playing the ranger had a better idea. The next time he took the kill he'd get scewered by an arrow. The Ranger always said "I was readying an action to get the monster. You just moved into his spot." We all got a laugh and the rogue dropped playing in my campaign. Fine by me.

[LotharBot]

#371 out-of-sync

You've set up a great political intrigue. He plays a half-orc barbarian with an INT of 5. Then you set up a hack'n'slash dungeon crawl for level 10+, and he shows up as a human expert 10 with most of his ranks spent in craft and profession skills. You form a new group full of all role-players, and he comes to powergame. You form a group of powergamers, and he wants to role-play. It's uncanny how, regardless of how much information he has on the upcoming campaign, he always manages to pick the exact wrong thing to focus on.

[NecroPaladin]

#372 Reality-Challenged

A player who assumes that since another player's CHARACTER possesses a certain trait, then the player must.

IE: Someone who would assume that I am deadpan, humorless and take things too literally because my namesake (Look at the char portrait to your left) does.

[Raistlin1040]

373) Skill Junkie
The player (Usually a rogue or Bard with high INT) uses all his 10+ skills so much it hurts.

Another Player: This cave looks dangerous. Let's look around
Player *rolls 18* adding my bonus that's...33. Does it work?
Me: No
Player: I'll take 20. That's a 35 does that work?
Me:No
Player: Then I'll take 20 on a search check
Me: It fails.
Player:...I'll try a listen check. I rolled a...
Me: Don't bother. You fail. There is nothing to see, hear, or find. It's just a cave.

[BobCat]

115: Mr. Lucky

This is the worst one, because you can't even get mad at him. It's like playing with an incredibly overpowered munchkin who can do ANYTHING HE WANTS. When he wants to do something totally retarded, 20s, his stats are legit rolled 18 17 18 15 17 18, on his SECOND roll (after he rolled 6 18s). No matter what he does he statistically succeeds it, saves, skill checks, everything, because the d20 is his bitch.

And theres nothing you can do...

Hey, that's me! No one wants to play with me... and it's not just d&d. It's any game that involves dice. Fortunately our DM is #115 as well, so i am equally matched. :smallbiggrin:

[BobCat]

oh, btw i know i'm quoting worst kind of player that was like 10 pages ago, but i couldn't help it... i was reading... and then... it's ME!

sorry... again... i'll try to keep my posts up-to-date, but i'm just a pixie.

[jono]

Currently; a usual DM (Not really a bad player, just mildly frustrating last night). It's because of him I'm having to drastically alter every single damage immunity rule for my monsters and make up new metals for weapons, purely because he's been playing for so long knows it off by heart.

Mind you, last night has some interesting results. Following the revelation that there was a latent positive energy seeping into the surrounding countryside he spouted off that there "must be a crack to the positive energy plane." he and the rest of the party spent several days fruitlessly searching the morgue for aforementioned rift. He then got concerned that the villagers were going to start going pop (In spite of the fact i'm not using this paticular rule). The fact that his character was a lvl 5 paladin, with no knowledge of the planes at all, who could in no way know anything about this phenomenon seemed irrelevant.

After discovering through a quick detect magic that the energy wasn't actually centered in this village they headed south. On the way they encountered two large bear-like creatures devouring a deer carcass:

Him: "They must be some kind of celestial bear from the positive energy plane!"

or perhaps, y'know just PERHAPS they're you're average everyday indigenous owlbears, eating the prey they just ran down?

Anyhow, I'm being evil and re-writing the rules just for him. MWAH!

[Solaris]

#311 The "Black and White" guy.

There is no evil with good intentions to him. It's an evil wizrd because he used undead. Nevermind that the undead saved the town; he's evil and has to die.
Also never allows Chaotic or Evil PCs because they'll either side with the bad guy or be to "random" to fit ito the story.

I use the interpretation that negative energy = evil, and thus mindless undead are evil, so it could depend upon the campaign setting. In mine, however, you'd best be using necromancy as a last resort if you want to keep that good alignment.
Playing at being a god and creating new life, on the other hand . . . "It's not evil if you don't screw it up too badly" has escaped my lips at one point or another.
Wait, there's something wrong in demanding that the players characters in a group with a paladin and a plotline based around heroics not be evil? I mean, I'm not stupid enough to think that evil's monolithic - had a player or two who were, but I cured them of that pretty quick - but evil PCs don't fit in a game where the intent is to have the party risk their lives on a repeated basis for less loot and more do-gooding. Sure, you could BS an explanation, but it's still just BS.

[alchemy.freak]

#374 the Eric

named for someone whom my party and my friends hate with a passion. a combination of many of these character types.

somehow if he rolls even one less dice he is not happy, his monk rolled 18 damage dice at only 4th level.

he also has no care for anyone else in the party, wether we are roleplaying or in combat.

thinks he is funny for no apparant reason, aparently engaging in a sex act at the dinner table is funny to him.

has some twisted conception of the rules and a knack for finding loop holes, and refuses to show or tell us where the numbers on the character sheet came from.

he believed that the DM was out to get him and accused our DM of picking on him, even though he was always constantly out of line.

thinks that he can outsmart the DM with his facts, and rules. even when he is totally totally wrong.

he also refused to let the issues stay at the gaming table, often not letting them go for days on end.

for some odd reason after doing all of this, he thinks that we will help him if he is in trouble, or revive him if he is dead

i believe Eric is the only person we have ever kicked out of a game or a campaign, period.

Again possibly the worst person i have ever had to play d&d with, ever!

[Arlanthe]

Hey, that's me! No one wants to play with me... and it's not just d&d. It's any game that involves dice. Fortunately our DM is #115 as well, so i am equally matched. :smallbiggrin:

#115 is a #359 and generally a #364 as well.


359 Superstitious Reinforcer: This player believes in "luck" as a permanent attribute, and has ascribed luck values to other players and the DM. The superstitious reinforcer makes statements such as "this player is a high roller" or "this person always flubs attack rolls, but does well with skill checks" or "this is a lucky D12 that rolls high".

The reinforcer's superstitions are vocally touted when their roll prophecies are validated, and conveniently ignored when they do not conform to expectations.


364. The Absurd Dice Liar: Tells outrageous stories about astronomically improbable dice events- of which they have many. "She rolled max damage on a full 10 die fireball! (1:60E6)"; "All four of us rolled 100%! (1:1.0E9); "No kidding, I rolled seven "ones" on attack rolls in a row! (1:1.28E9)"; "He rolled four eighteens on his first five natural stats rolls! (1:470E9)".

All having odds of millions or billions to one- yet have all been witnessed by the Absurd Dice Liar. Several times, apparently.

"Luck" isn't real.

[jono]

#115 is a #359 and generally a #364 as well.





"Luck" isn't real.

No. It's all air bubbles and inperfections in the dice.

There's only so much you can take before the DM decries; "That's it! We're using the elite array from now on!"

[Arlanthe]

No. It's all air bubbles and inperfections in the dice.

There's only so much you can take before the DM decries; "That's it! We're using the elite array from now on!"

Air bubbles and imperfections? Hard to believe, but perhaps occasionaly plausible in a slightly-skewed scenario. Certainly not valid in the billions-to-one scenario.

I don't even believe in "air bubble" theory though I do believe in cheaters dice.

[The Glyphstone]

373) Skill Junkie
The player (Usually a rogue or Bard with high INT) uses all his 10+ skills so much it hurts.

Another Player: This cave looks dangerous. Let's look around
Player *rolls 18* adding my bonus that's...33. Does it work?
Me: No
Player: I'll take 20. That's a 35 does that work?
Me:No
Player: Then I'll take 20 on a search check
Me: It fails.
Player:...I'll try a listen check. I rolled a...
Me: Don't bother. You fail. There is nothing to see, hear, or find. It's just a cave.

I run a 6-person group. EVERY SINGLE ONE of them is a Skill Junkie.....makes our games very long.

[KazilDarkeye]

375. Time warp delay

The guy who won't kill something within 3 rounds (he can, but he won't) because he "wants to make things interesting", then gets mad when someone else kills it, or the DM set off the BBEG's uberplan because he took too long.

376. Cat...robot slayer?

Not only does he use a ton of (wrong) real-life logic in-game, but some of it comes from movies set in the future
e.g

CRS: Hey guys, look what I made on this date in 986 AD...I call it a laser.
I also made something I call a hovertank.
DM: Dude, we're in 1356 AD, and it is MEDEVIL! You know what, your laser hovertank blows up because you're a crap inventor.
CRS: But I saw it in a MOVIE...

377. Chat-speaker

(N.B, this isn't limited to online games) I swear sometimes you need a dictionary to understand the words he's saying. Will make them up if he has to, meaning the dictionary you just bought, leaving you broke in more ways than one (it was heavy), is worthless.

[Solaris]

Air bubbles and imperfections? Hard to believe, but perhaps occasionaly plausible in a slightly-skewed scenario. Certainly not valid in the billions-to-one scenario.

I don't even believe in "air bubble" theory though I do believe in cheaters dice.

What about Chaos Theory?
I swear my brother's subconscious mind must be a Chaos calculator. The little monkey has, on three separate occassions (two of which, I kid you not, were sequential), rolled characters with at least four eighteens. I don't try to figure the odds. He was using 4d6. Honest dice, too. I could take 'em and roll the crappiest character you ever did see, but that boy . . .
Needless to say, I've yet to kill more than one of his characters (and that was an AD&D first-level monk that I cornered with three zombies).

For a somewhat less out-there explanation . . . luck. This is verbal shorthand for the Thousand Monkeys effect. Eventually, anything can happen. There's nothing supernatural to it, despite the superstitions some might have. It's merely random chance.

[KazilDarkeye]

I blame Sod's Law. Following on from the whole "near-impossible" thing (although not D&D related), my sister once rolled doubles SIX THROWS IN A ROW!

[Nahal]

373) Skill Junkie
The player (Usually a rogue or Bard with high INT) uses all his 10+ skills so much it hurts.

Another Player: This cave looks dangerous. Let's look around
Player *rolls 18* adding my bonus that's...33. Does it work?
Me: No
Player: I'll take 20. That's a 35 does that work?
Me:No
Player: Then I'll take 20 on a search check
Me: It fails.
Player:...I'll try a listen check. I rolled a...
Me: Don't bother. You fail. There is nothing to see, hear, or find. It's just a cave.
Yeesh, there's one guy I've played with that no matter the character, no matter the campaign, he ALWAYS maxes out spot and uses it at EVERY opportunity. Which is silly, because since my GM prefers our characters to survive encounters we usually get advance notice before anything relevant, and if we walk into a given room we can usually just get away with an "is there anything of interest?"

I mean some degree of skill-junkyness is usefull if not necessary, but after a certain point making unnecessary checks crosses the line between justifiable paranoia and excessive annoyance.

[Arbitrarity]

What about Chaos Theory?
I swear my brother's subconscious mind must be a Chaos calculator. The little monkey has, on three separate occassions (two of which, I kid you not, were sequential), rolled characters with at least four eighteens. I don't try to figure the odds. He was using 4d6. Honest dice, too. I could take 'em and roll the crappiest character you ever did see, but that boy . . .
Needless to say, I've yet to kill more than one of his characters (and that was an AD&D first-level monk that I cornered with three zombies).

For a somewhat less out-there explanation . . . luck. This is verbal shorthand for the Thousand Monkeys effect. Eventually, anything can happen. There's nothing supernatural to it, despite the superstitions some might have. It's merely random chance.


216^4.

The odds on that are less than 1 in 1,600,000,000

Admittedly, if you have rolled that many d6's, you probably deserve it.

We have a guy who claims he was using the Etools char gen, and it gave him 2 18's, 2 17's, a 16, and a 5.

Using high powered rolls, so he must have gotten something worse than the 5...

[Solaris]

I fail to see how 4d6 as opposed to 3d6 makes that big of a difference.

[Arbitrarity]

It's the "7 rolls of 4d6, drop the lowest, drop the lowest set of dice"

And 4d6 as opposed to 3d6 actually does make a difference.

The issue is, it's a really nasty set of probabilities to figure out how much of a difference.

[Solaris]

Six rolls. My group doesn't add in an extra set of 4d6 (on account of six rolls being more than enough to get good stats). The campaign's not that high-powered. We just don't have a healbot on account of nobody liking playing a cleric (and no, I didn't take away the cleric's offensive spells in my campaign, I just didn't point them out to my players).
I know an extra d6 makes a difference. It doesn't make that big of a difference. You could take 6d6 and still have trouble getting that many eighteens.

[Shaoc]

The pc, who in a campaign that doesnt allow evil pc's, decides to play as CN and just uses the chaotic aspect of the alignment to just play evil all the time.

[Solaris]

The DM who refuses to grab the PC's sheet and change his alignment when he clearly does not act like his declared alignment.

[Quirinus_Obsidian]

Very similar to the player that decides not to show is the DM that decides not to show. 3 times out of 5 scheduled meetings; this DM decides not to phone, email, smokesignal, or use any form of communication to confirm that the game is on. Players hear nothing from this DM until a few days later asking when the next game will be.

[okpokalypse]

152: The Forced Healer

This character either showed up late in the character building session or was the last one to come up with a character. He doesn't want to play the healer (probaly again) but the group already has everything else. He doesn't care that Clerics and Druids can do way more than heal, he'll grudgenly play, but he wont allow himself to have fun. He'll do the bare minimum in hopes that someone else will take over the character and he can play that Bard he's always dreamed of.

Heh, and this player archetype is exactly why Clerics and Druids have become over-powered. It's a total response to the lack of player enthusiasm for such classes.

[Thes Hunter]

#378 The Boss Man


The DM will give a problem for the party to solve. Three of the four players will spend 20 minutes discussing options on how to handle said problem. They will come to a consenious and will turn to the DM and say: "Ok we are going to do Blah..."


And the Boss man will interrupt saying "Wait a minute?! You can't really be thinking of doing that can you? That's the stupidest idea ever! Here is what we need to do." and will give his opinion on what the party should do, which always includes things that go beyond the parameters of the system (The person who stated the lightning bolt killing everyone in the water is a good example of what I mean by this) and then will argue with the other players until at least some of his plan is incorporated into "The plan".

[okpokalypse]

#379: Over-The-Top Puzzle DM

When DM's force their players into solving mensa-level logic / mathematical / spacial puzzles that have no business being part of any campaign because they have a group of 6 sitting there for 2 hours without any resoultion.

* I was guilty of the previous in my youth - a lot.

#380: The "Stricktly by the Module" DM

Nothing wrong with using Modules, but it's horrible when a DM goes heads-down for 10 minutes reading in monotone from a pre-printed adventure. It also should be expected that if, as a DM, you play with at least 2 other player's who are / have DM'd - they already know your material, or will download it off a torrent site.

* Hats off to the DM who can take a module and make it their own though. I'm currently in a campaign doing The Shackled City - and he's tweaked it enough that despite my knowing quite a few individual event in the campaign, I can't pre-plan for anything.

#381: Snack Provider / BAD Gamer

You know - that guy who brings the great food with him (brownies, cheesecake, etc..) but just sucks as a Gamer (Often encompassing a multitude of other traits). They would normally never be tolerated, but damn thos Brownies were good!!!

* Yeah, he's gone now. After a while - it just wasn't worth it. We never did find where he got those brownies though. Damnit!

[Turcano]

#379: Over-The-Top Puzzle DM

When DM's force their players into solving mensa-level logic / mathematical / spacial puzzles that have no business being part of any campaign because they have a group of 6 sitting there for 2 hours without any resoultion.

* I was guilty of the previous in my youth - a lot.

It's even worse when said DM thinks that the puzzle is rational when it really isn't. That's all kinds of not-fun.

[dragonwings]

Wow. So much for only 101. I have a few on my complaint list that I don't think have been mentioned.

###+12 (Because I like 12)
The Agressive Moral Compass:
This player plays good characters most of the time. If you play a good character as well in the same party, beware. He is free to hit on anything female that moves (or doesn't) and do plenty of things that are very questionable to his allignment (such as kick back and watch the CN rogue and my LE warlock torture a hag), but if another good character has a different view of "good" or "honorable" he springs into action, berrating and fussing at the person until either a fight breaks out or the other person caves. Fortunatly, this has only happened once.

###+13
The Offensive Combo:
No, I'm not talking the guy who runs into melee and pounds the heck out of things. I'm talking the one guy who is a punnishment to sit by. When he's not complaining of a headache, tummy ache, or a combination of the two, he covers at least half this previous list. I've seen one who didn't bathe, fudged dice rolls because "his character -should- be able to _________ because it fits", "forgot" his character sheet but "remembered" the stats and all the important stuff, screwed up his math on hit point several times (gladitorial arena with PVP. Me and the monk still whipped his rear.), is constantly looking up crap he'll get at next level and interrupting gameplay to tell us about how awesome it will be, and who munches on things without asking even if a player brought it for themselves because they skipped lunch or something. The one we has was also...

###+14
The Method Actor:
This guy actually "gets into character" before gameplay. I tried to ask him how his day was before we started playing since I hadn't seen him in a while. I just got heavy breathing and a furious glare.

###+15
The Drunken, Power Leveling DM:
Ah, my first DM. We'd start off at relatively low-levels, but within a few days, we'd be nearly to level 20. He'd also drink during the games so as the night went on, things like this happened:
"Hey DM! Can I have a +10 Vorporal Shocking Fireblasting Wounding Fleshgrinding Sword even though I'm like... level 7?"
"Sure!"

###+16
Using DM Status to Pick Up Chicks!:
This was in combination with the previous guy. If you were a girl in his game, you got some serious bonuses. I was a newbie at the time and I not only got handed my own, specialized class, but I was allowed to cast an ice spell that froze the heart of a dragon at level 9. I had no idea how to play, so I thought I had done a good thing. Turned out the DM just wanted me to stay the night. Fortunatly the game was disbanded shortly after that and I found a pair of real DMs.

[TheNovak]

#310 The guys who smack the table and knock down my dice towers.

There are only a few things I am truly good at, and one is stacking dice. Without looking I can stack dice like you could only dream of. I can actually stack d4s. The jealous bastards who feel the need to destroy my accomplishments with seismic attacks are the lowest of all lows. When I've managed to stack 30 dice of varying types while participating in combat I deserve a victory lap, not your ire.

Quoted for truth!

#384: The Mooch

Whether in the game or in real life, this guy needs money. He wants to borrow $5.00. He wants some of your pizza. He wants to know if he can take the rest of the Dr. Pepper home with him. And because he really is in greater need than you are, you let him. But then he keeps asking. And asking. And asking. And finally, Jesus Christ himself comes to you in a vision and tells you to "tell that stupidass to get his own goddamn chips!"

[Ranis]

#385 The Chemist

He's always looking for ways to use real-life ingredients to turn the game into his own personal chemistry set. Always plays a caster.

"What? It's just some simple bonemeal!" He then proceeds to set fire to the atmosphere.

(Side note: this happened to me while GMing one day.)

[LotharBot]

#380: The "Stricktly by the Module" DM

Nothing wrong with using Modules, but it's horrible when a DM goes heads-down for 10 minutes reading in monotone from a pre-printed adventure. It also should be expected that if, as a DM, you play with at least 2 other player's who are / have DM'd - they already know your material, or will download it off a torrent site.

Which, of course, brings us to:

#386: Spoiled.

Plays through Baldurs Gate, Dungeon Siege, WoW, or whatever other RPGs he happens to be interested in by reading the spoilers and knowing the optimal way to take each fight beforehand. Wants to do the same in your tabletop game. You just spent $50 on The Shackled City? He's gonna google for spoilers and know every plot twist before it happens. He might even warez a copy of the book and read through it. Will get pissed if you dare deviate from what's in the module because his character is so utterly tweaked for what you'll be facing.

[okpokalypse]

Which, of course, brings us to:

#386: Spoiled.

Plays through Baldurs Gate, Dungeon Siege, WoW, or whatever other RPGs he happens to be interested in by reading the spoilers and knowing the optimal way to take each fight beforehand. Wants to do the same in your tabletop game. You just spent $50 on The Shackled City? He's gonna google for spoilers and know every plot twist before it happens. He might even warez a copy of the book and read through it. Will get pissed if you dare deviate from what's in the module because his character is so utterly tweaked for what you'll be facing.

Heh, I've got to admit I've been guilty of some of that. As someone who's lucky to get 2 hours a week free time to play D&D Games via the PC, I've hacked my characters (Or Items) via AXE (A Hex-Editor) to make the challenges quicker, while still going through the storyline - otherwise, I'd never finish a game. :smallwink:

I also have found campaign spoilers, not so much cause I went looking for them as to them falling into my lap. I actually hate when that happens, cause I feel (morally) I have to be a non-participant in anything I know / expect to be happening. An example of this was me learning who Vhlantru was from a friend of mine who DM'd it. I've had to keep quiet for about 6 sessions until it started dawning on people what was going on...

So now I've just taken to telling the DM straight up that I may know something, and give him the opportunity to tweak it, or just tell me, "I'm not gonna change it - so don't give it away."

That's why I also do all my campaigns myself. I borrow small bits and pieces from a bunch of different things to make it easier for me (Like the High Clerist Tower map from DL8, or some RavenLoft or FR Content) - but I stay away from using expressly pre-packaged adventures.

[marnen]

#386 (or whatever): D30 Boy
At a D&D 3.5 table:
Him: "I have a house rule as DM: I use a d30 for all my d20 rolls."
Me: "So can we use d30s for our d20 rolls as players?"
Him: "No."

This happened this weekend at a con (fortunately, the game did not end up actually starting). I could have understood it if we'd been high-level characters playing a home-brewed adventure, and if he'd accounted for his extra strength in the adventure -- but this was a Living Greyhawk module, at APL 2!

[Kultrum]

#387- The Grapple monkey,
Flat refuses to attack with any means but grapples. He will argue for an hour as to why the grapple rule should include rules for snapping necks, or ripping out jaws or whatever.
#387b The Grapple monkey Plus
like The Grapple monkey, only he has never even read the rules on grapples and makes the DM do all the work

[Jade_Tarem]

###+16
Using DM Status to Pick Up Chicks!:
This was in combination with the previous guy. If you were a girl in his game, you got some serious bonuses. I was a newbie at the time and I not only got handed my own, specialized class, but I was allowed to cast an ice spell that froze the heart of a dragon at level 9. I had no idea how to play, so I thought I had done a good thing. Turned out the DM just wanted me to stay the night. Fortunatly the game was disbanded shortly after that and I found a pair of real DMs.

"Using DM status to pick up chicks" is akin to trying to put out a fire with napalm. He should know that.

[MrEdwardNigma]

#388- The Lazy, I mean really lazy player
Players who are so lazy that they refuse to learn proper rpg rules. they demand either an extremely easy system, or none at all(!!!). And some of them, the really awfull ones, decide to use this lack of rules against the GM later on. (As in:
GM: "I'm afraid your arm is ripped of by the blast"
Player: "No way! That couldn't have blown my arm off! I'm way too strong!".
GM: "I'm pretty sure your beginner character without any armor wouldn't be able to withstand the explosion of five kegs of gunpowder at a two feet distance..."
Player: "Prove it!"). All players I have ever had were extremely lazy...

#389- Tactics? Why?
Players who believe they can face any threat by simply storming at it and trying to stomp it, even if they are first level mages and the problem seems to be an uber-powerful barbarian.

#390- The "Don't worry, I can handle it!"
Player who do not take the slightest precaution in the game, usually ending up in an almost certainly deadly situation, leaving the GM to figure out a way for them to get out alive...

#391- The "Ooooh, a red button!"
Stupid players. Incredibly stupid players. Yes, blowing up the tavern would kill the brigands, bob, but aren't you forgetting you're in there too???

#392- The derailer
Some players seem to think that every little detail in the game world is of utmost importance. Thus they search every barn thoroughly for treasure, check that none of the boards are really awesome artifacts in disguise and believe every single NPC is part of some huge conspiracy.

#393- The blind mouse
This would be a player who succeeds in missing the blatantly obvious, and then starts blaming the GM for it.
(GM: "You are in a jungle, you hear distant drums and there are a spear and a skull on the floor. Your weapons were taken by the robbers"
Player: "Ok, I go toward the drums"
Other players laugh
Player: "No, wait, wait ... wait, I go back!"
GM: "Right, still in the jungle, still drums, spear and skull on the floor. Not armed"
Player: "Ok, need weapons...I put the skull on my head as a helmet!"
GM: "Sigh...And?"
Player: "Ehrm... I look around?".
GM: "Jungle, drums, spear, still unarmed, though now wearing a silly skull".
Player: "Right! I head for the drums!")

I'm ashamed to say I've had all of these players in my group. They make GMing very hard. Why, oh why can't I find better players? :frown: