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Dkalban
2006-10-30, 12:50 PM
I got this not so original idea from the WotC forums, but I want it not just to be the archetypes, but personal ones as well. Therefore, i give you #1

1. The Miles

The Miles is named after a kid from camp. He is arrogant and everything must go his way, be it xp, money, or magic item. The next year he continued with his overlypowered ranger as the rest of us started new characters. He and I were the more annoying ones, but I was considered the lesser of two evils.

I now go to a new school in Conn. (theraputic boarding school, long story). Who shows up two days after me? That brat Miles. When someone started the DnD club here (it is still in the process of character sheets, longer story) Miles wanted to be his ranger. But in the year in which i didnt see him (I aged out of the camp) his ranger became CE and a blackguard. He also had a velociraptor mount making him too powerful for a begginner game, yet he wanted to play as that character. Both the DM and the club president refused, and he now refuses to plays and torments me, the DM and the club president as nerds. HE however, paints his nails and flirts with everyone, and he used to play DnD...Yeah Miles, you are sooo much cooler than me (sarcasm)

Next person?

Evil_Pacifist
2006-10-30, 12:55 PM
#2. Me. Be very, very afraid.

Genome
2006-10-30, 01:03 PM
#3 One-face
This is the player that has one character, no matter what class, race, or gender. Same mannerisms, voice, attitude, actions, everything, which are invariably of the nondescript nature. Often favors playing a single class. Most common choices: Fighter, Rogue.

Were-Sandwich
2006-10-30, 01:04 PM
#4: The drizzt fanboy who's every character is a dual scimitar wielding drow ranger with an angst problem.

Genome
2006-10-30, 01:10 PM
#5 What's this do again?
The player who refuses to learn the rules for his own abilities and constantly asks the DM to look up spells for him, since he refuses to buy the books or look them up in the SRD.

Were-Sandwich
2006-10-30, 01:11 PM
^I have a group full of them.

Name_Here
2006-10-30, 01:24 PM
#6: The leniant GM. Sure it's nice the first couple of times when you get to argue you yourself out of a problem or 2 at the beginning of the campaing but at hour 3 of a 4 hour long arguement with a player who absolutly needs to have it his way you wish the DM would just put his foot down and end the arguement.

Maxymiuk
2006-10-30, 02:23 PM
#7 The Tweak-Freak
Wants to improve each and every part of his equipment with custom mods (this for systems which allow such things), worse, EXPLAINS in detail how this would work, and just doesn't stop.

TheThan
2006-10-30, 02:40 PM
#8 The Kender

This is the kind of player who always plays annoying pranksters and other such frustrations. He won’t approach the game with any amount of seriousness at all. He generally ruins the playing environment for everyone else. Then he wonders why the Dm won’t invite him back for a different game.



#9 I’m the Best, Me!!

This is the kind of player who comes up with the most silly and obnoxious actions a character can come up with, and follows through with them. He routinely fails at these tasks. Later on after the game session he’s overjoyed to talk about his “awesome” character.

SillyBee
2006-10-30, 02:48 PM
#10 The Armchair GM

The guy who is never satisfied being the player and ends up playing the same character everytime. (re:#3 One-face) In order to get out of this, he states that he really wants to run a game. However more often than not, when he is given the opportunity to run, he comes up with the same contrived, played hooks and draws, or even worse completely steals an adventure posted online. He is convinced that he is a good DM, no matter the reticence the players have concerning his abilities. Will continue to do this until the rest of the group lets him meet the "get a clue" bat.

Saithis Bladewing
2006-10-30, 02:54 PM
#11 - Greedy-fingers McCoy

This player cannot abide the rest of his party having more money than him. In fact, if he had it his way, they'd have no money and all of it would go to him for things he wants to buy, assuming he'd even purchase something at all. D&D for him isn't an adventure game, it's a bank simulation game. He will lie, cheat, manipulate and even apply a few Sleight of Hand and Bluff checks to make sure that the majority of the money and magic items go to him and not the rest of the party. Such players are almost always rogues, though any class sufficiently sneaky in nature will often do for them.

JungeonJeff
2006-10-30, 02:56 PM
#12 The Brute

His favourite template is Half-“Whatever-Gives-The-Highest-Str-Bonus!”. Plays the same dumb ogre/dragon/bugbear character in every champagne, even when the Dm has informed the players that it will be a low-combat investigation scenario. Favourite activity in-game is getting himself thrown in jail after a random bar-fight.

Fistandantalus
2006-10-30, 03:09 PM
Hi,

Sorry to be the fly in the oinment but the GM and group I play with are all excellent when we play. The only problem I have is getting them to turn off the football etc so we can play.

DEMONhunter
2006-10-30, 03:17 PM
#13 The "I AM THE RULES!" Player

This player has no regards for the rules because of a certain quality they believe they have. Perhaps they won a RPG competition, or have been playing since version 1, but whatever it they believe this makes whatever they say right, even if the rulebook blatantly contradicts them.

#14 The Split-Personalitied Player

This player will argue with everything you say. Everything. And they cannot possibly be wrong. The difference between this and number #13 is how they respond to the result of an argument. #13 will continue arguing forever, even if you just give up and agree with him. #14's responses range from 'sulking and pouting, and saying they were only joking, to insisting that they never really believed what they were saying it was just what someone else had told them, to even getting up and telling the players they didn't want to play with them in the first place.

Saithis Bladewing
2006-10-30, 03:21 PM
#15 - The Rules Lawyer

This player has taken it to memorize the rules and no matter what you do or say, he will know the exact rule and the page number it's on. He will proceed to contradict anyone who gets a rule even slightly wrong, and if you try to argue with him, he will pull out the rulebook and proceed to tell you, in detail, why you are wrong. If the DM decides to contradict the book's rulings, he will often throw a temper tantrum and yell things to the effect of 'BUT THAT'S NOT HOW YOU PLAY THE GAME!'

Were-Sandwich
2006-10-30, 03:23 PM
#13 The "I AM THE RULES!" Player

This player has no regards for the rules because of a certain quality they believe they have. Perhaps they won a RPG competition, or have been playing since version 1, but whatever it they believe this makes whatever they say right, even if the rulebook blatantly contradicts them.

#14 The Split-Personalitied Player

This player will argue with everything you say. Everything. And they cannot possibly be wrong. The difference between this and number #13 is how they respond to the result of an argument. #13 will continue arguing forever, even if you just give up and agree with him. #14's responses range from 'sulking and pouting, and saying they were only joking, to insisting that they never really believed what they were saying it was just what someone else had told them, to even getting up and telling the players they didn't want to play with them in the first place.
He's getting to you again isn't he?

ishi
2006-10-30, 03:40 PM
#11 - Greedy-fingers McCoy


I feel for you; as a frequent victim of a "McCoy", I can totally identify here.

Only I think our guy did it to annoy the other players more than to actually acquire the stuff...

Tormsskull
2006-10-30, 03:40 PM
#16 The "It's in this Book so I get to Use It" Player

This player thinks a book has more authority than the DM, and thus will try to force non-sanctioned material in because WotC (or sometimes some 3rd party) said it is "balanced".

Telonius
2006-10-30, 03:50 PM
#17 The Architect
Gets bored easily, so spends his time trying to place all of his dice in a vertical stack, forming a tower.

#18 The Drunkard
Gets hammered during the gaming session. In between gulps, has his character get hammered.

#19 The Hypochondriac
Freaks out when his character gets put in a bad situation. Treats every wound as though it brings his character to the very door of death (even when it's hitting his 15th-level Barbarian for 3HP of damage).

Cubey
2006-10-30, 03:55 PM
#20 The Disabled

He thinks that having badly distributed stats (for example, STR as dump for a fighter) and a bad build makes him automatically a better roleplayer. Also considers everyone with a more optimized character than his to be a total munchkin and roll-player.

The_Werebear
2006-10-30, 04:04 PM
21. The Microgamer

It is this gamers personal mission to bring the game to a screeching halt by focusing on minute details, mundane tasks, or random unrelated events when everyone moves on. Spending a few minutes haggling with a merchant is ok, turning the entire session into arguing with the merchant over prices gets old. Also known to do things like walking down random alleys(away from the party), Going to the bar and get drunk while the rest of the group is in combat, and trying to tame squrrels during the planning sessions. His presence is normally annouced by his interjection during the GM's description of someone to ask what color their socks are, or stating that they would like to break into a random house.

Hungerdog
2006-10-30, 04:07 PM
# 22 The Resource Weenie:

Invariably plays a spellcaster, and invariably wants to bail the dungeon much sooner than everyone else, just because he's "getting low on spells". He's not OUT of spells, mind you, usually not even close...there just seems to be some warning level indicator in his mind that only he can see, based on criteria only he knows, and once it's reached, all he does is whine until he gets to rest and get his spells back.

Torger
2006-10-30, 04:07 PM
#23 -- The Fish out of Water

This player picks the most asinine character class/feat combinations, such as a Samurai with point blank shot as his first-level feat, a ranger with archery focus who religiously wades into melee, or a cleric of a nonmarital deity whose strength and con are higher than his Wisdom, and who has a ridiculous spell selection (No healing, for example). When confronted with the stupidity of this, (like pointing out how it's a bad idea to weild two bastard swords, seeing as you're a second-level rogue without the correct feats) he'll say something ridiculous, like "IT's only a minus four to hit."

#24 -- The Racial Paragon

No matter what the setting might be, where you're located in the world, or what kind of racism/etc you make clear is prevalent in the area, this person will always play the Dwarf/Halfling/Half-Orc. Every character, every time. Usually found in combination with #23.

#25 -- "I'm here for my Boyfriend"

The spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/lifemate of another player who shows up to play. Generally, this player is flighty, disinterested, and unwilling to make the slightest effort to learn the rules and mechanics or to roleplay the freakin' game. In general, the addition of this player leads to neither him/her or the spouse player staying in the game for long, as (s)he gets bored and doesn't want to play any more.

#26 -- The DC setter

This player will want to carry out actions that are difficult and/or not something the character would do (ie -- a Fighter with an int of 8 coming up with a cunning plan), and will declare that (s)he is rolling "to see if my character would know/do this." A d20 is dropped, and a result is announced, generally in the form of "Ok, Gurk would think of this." Never is the DM asked what should be rolled, nor is he consulted for the setting of the DC.

#27-- The Munchkin

This player has 30 levels of progression mapped out for his character, starting at level one, with his templates, feats, classes, and PrCs all pre-chosen. His character has no real growth or development, and is instead like a MEch being upgraded as life goes on. His stats are Min/max'd, and at least once a session, he'll come up and ask "Would you allow..." Once you get to an apporpriate level for his next idiotic build designed to break the game and ruin things for everyone else, he'll beg to have his current character killed off or retired and the new one (More often than not a Half Dragon Ogre, or a shapechanged Red Dragon, or something equally stupid) brought in to play. No matter how disruptive to the plot this might be, or how much you try to explain how broken that Fighter/Barbarian/Hulking Hurler/Frenzied Berserker is, and how his own party will kill him the frist time he frenzies and starts attacking them, he insists on entering a deathless frenzy in the midst of his allies.

#28 -- Mr. Welsh

This guy just goes out of his way to do things that are campy, irritating, stupid, game-breaking, or jsut generally aggrevating. Feel free to look up his list of 550 things online. He's not one of my players, but I've had similar.

This is very cathartic...

Tallis
2006-10-30, 04:14 PM
#28-It's me! Aren't I a great roleplayer?
Always plays the same character: himself/herself and thinks he's a great roleplayer because of the ridiculous description he gives for this 'charcter'. Closely related to one-face, but more extreme.

#29-Anything to annoy the DM.
Whatever the DM sets up he will go out of his way to avoid it. If the party knows there is a problem to the south his response is "I go north". He doesn't care if anyone else wants to go on the actual adventure or not.

#30-I win at D&D.
Comes to the game for the sole purpose of defeating the other players. Will kill them all if he can.

#31-I can beat the DM.
When the DM asks what his character is going to be his response is "you'll see!" When pressed for details it is determined that his plan is to bring in something from a book that is not on the list that the DM has approved.

ishi
2006-10-30, 04:20 PM
#23 -- The Fish out of Water

This player picks the most asinine character class/feat combinations...


...and then complains about how their character can't do anything, then proceeds to call everyone else munchkins.

Saithis Bladewing
2006-10-30, 04:24 PM
#32 - Stupid Evil

This player is determined to be as evil as possible, obeying only the letter of the alignment and none of the spirit. He will eat babies, kill the bartender, kill the party members, steal, rape, murder and pillage no matter what you or anyone else will do, regardless of whether the paladin the party cares or not. All of his characters are like this, regardless of their actual alignment on paper.

the_tick_rules
2006-10-30, 04:25 PM
33 i think: stupid or uncharacter actions because it amuses me

They have their character do ridiculus stuff in-game because the novelty or whatever amuses them personally. last week a cleric of pelor in my party bashed the stone wall of a dungeon because the dwarven writing on the door had an anti-sun remark of them. This resulted in a devastating ambush by alerting every bad guy on the other side of the door. Only elan himself is so dim as to attempt this. (remember the heroes are here sign)

cause it will kill stuff better (like 21 munchkin) just bears repeating to me

also relentless power gamer who don't even justify their power gaming. Like someone once wanted to be a necromancer or something from libris mortis because it's abilities would kick butt with ones he already had. though his character was unnceromancer in every conceivable way and until he saw the level table never mentioned anything necromatic.

34: 1/2 dimensonal character

the entire characters life story is i'm a 18 year old level one fighter. so people whose character is nothing beyond their class levels and height,weight, etc. also calling everyone by their job cause they care nothing about their lives beyond their conribution to the battle. i had a party where it was ok, your sword fighter, your archer etc.

The Vorpal Tribble
2006-10-30, 04:27 PM
#36 - Angsty McGoth, the Fearless Wonder

Tieflings, Demon Bloodlines and Vampires is the first choice of this player if at all possible. Though their characters may have abysmal Wisdom scores, and sunsequently low will saves, they are fearless and do not understand how a mere spell can fill them with fear. NO! They have seen a thousand tragedies, have witnessed countless abominations. Iron has infused their souls which the most horrible sights cannot hope to pierce. In fact, they themselves have comitted many of these heinous acts, but now they just wish to cleanse themselves, to forget their deeds! But the fires of memory burn within, never to be forgotten, and anything that may be faced since cannot hold a candle to their past!

And lo, thus was it spoken by this being of steel. These extended words were in truth continued the length and breadth throughout the campaign, as the flames leapt from his eyes, and all did cower at their saying.

Tibor
2006-10-30, 04:27 PM
The "I'm better then you at everything" guy.

This guy always plays a Wizard, Druid, or Cleric. Then proceeds to volunteer himself for every task because his spells make him better at it then the dedicated character. He'll say that he's better at stealth then a rogue, better at battle then the fighter, better at magic then the other casters. He'll frequently try to start duels and tell people in the campaign that his character would kill them in a straight up fight and go into great detail explaining how, then doesn't understand why it is that he spends the next campaign playing solitare with his miniatures.

Also heavily linked to munchinism and the One Face.

Muffin_Man
2006-10-30, 04:32 PM
26: Headache guy

Always come with a hangover to the game and stays the whole session complaining about it.

27: Stupid DM

A DM that likes their NPCs so much that every single one aways pass the DC, are never surprised and just dies when the DM want them to.

Fawsto
2006-10-30, 04:40 PM
37:The Complaining Suicide

This player can chose any class from the book, but even when things come to a BAD situation, he insists that his lvl 2 Sorcerer is capable of dealing with 3 bugbears in melee confront. After death, keeps complayining abt it with the DM, saying "But my equip was better! BwAAAAHHH!".

38:The "I'll Screw You" DM.

This especimem likes to torture the PCs with whatever he can find in the Monsters Manual. Trowing dragons, Tarrasques (yes, more than one, sometimes) and armies of fiendish undead on the poor third lvl characters.

Thomas
2006-10-30, 04:43 PM
#18 The Drunkard
Gets hammered during the gaming session. In between gulps, has his character get hammered.

How bizarre... I've never known anyone who's actually ever gotten drunk to bother RPing their character getting drunk.

Telonius
2006-10-30, 04:43 PM
39 The Mooch
Closely related to #5 (What's this do again?), The Mooch shows up without so much as a pencil or dice. He usually bums a ride to the game, and swears he will pay you for that pizza on Tuesday. The Mooch borrows books from everyone, but somehow never gets around to reading them.

Saithis Bladewing
2006-10-30, 04:43 PM
#40 - Xenophobe

This player's characters are deathly afraid of anything that isn't human, elf, dwarf or some variation of those three. He will proceed to kill anything with odd coloured skin, massacre entire villages of said creatures and refuses to associate with those said creatures, despite often having the Lawful Good alignment. His justification is that all greenskins are evil and must be killed.

Shazzbaa
2006-10-30, 05:22 PM
#41 -- Looselips
This is a player who has a backstory they love. While it's all well and good that they have a backstory, they cannot keep their terrible secret or angsty past to themselves. Every action that their character performs will be accompanied by the completely unasked for explanation that "Well, I did that because my character doesn't trust *insert species here* after they killed her father when she was only four, forcing her to live on the streets as an orphan."
Alternatively, these players are fine in-game. However, out-of-game, they will go to every other player (one at a time) and reveal their entire life-story and every secret associated with their character, and how much fun it's going to be when such-and-such a secret gets out. They also like to inform the other players of exactly what their character's inner thoughts were at any point during the last session.

I'm not sure whether it's the self-absorption or the viscious metagame that bothers me more. ^^;

DeepDreamer
2006-10-30, 05:25 PM
#42 The Solo/Star

The Solo is a player whose char solves all the problems the party has. He is the one that talks to NPCs for the group, he makes the one-on-one fight, he solves all riddles and puzzles (maybe of own cunning mind) and has a Star attitude...
Roleplaying time is always his time and the other PCs and NPCs are only supernumararies...

Bryn
2006-10-30, 05:39 PM
#43 The anachronist*
*That probably isn't a word, but meh...

Doesn't care about time period. This player will always try to come up with some piece of modern/future technology. In a medieval setting, he plays an 'inventor', and 'accidentally' invents gunpowder, working guns to fire it, etc., and is mortified when the DM won't let him.

Gamebird
2006-10-30, 05:48 PM
Most of the ones that annoy me have already been listed:
"Screw you" DM
Stupid Evil
Loose Lips
Angsty-thing.

Here's some not mentioned that annoy me:

#44 Tight lips - I hand out a vital bit of information to a player with the expectation that they'll share this with the others. Instead, they remain stubbornly silent, allowing the entire party to be endangered and closing off that branch of the plot line because they don't want to share the information. Or, they claim later they just forgot.

#45 Sleepy - Similar to "Headache" player. They show up to the game and claim to be exhausted and (on chat games) occasionally type gibberish and claim their forehead hit the keyboard. I've been awful damn tired during games, but for your forehead to hit the keyboard pretty much requires you to PASS OUT. I simply don't buy it.

#46 "I'm not Evil" - Similar to Stupid Evil, but while doing various Evil things, they determinedly claim their character is not evil. They tie up hours of the game arguing that their actions aren't evil and refuse to accept the DM's ruling their alignment has changed.

#47 "I'm only role playing" - They do something bogusly anti-party, and when the other players bitch at them for ruining the game, they say "I was only doing what my character would have done! I was only role playing." Usually at this point it's too late for the other players to "only role play" their characters beating the crap out of his.

#48 Tangent-boy (or girl). Eats up huge amounts of game time with stupid tangential discussions of religion, politics, current events, their relatives, the weather, some movie they saw, etc.

TheOOB
2006-10-30, 05:53 PM
#49 The Story Hijacker

Similar to #42, the story hijacker picks a class, alignment, race, or backstory that doesn't mesh well with the rest of the group and proceeds to attempt to drive the story, and with it their party, into situations appropriate to their character while not neccesarly so for everone else. Usually a problum when paladins team with anyone who is not a paladin.

#50 The "Loose" Player

Very similar to #47, this player doesn't feel it neccesary to controll the actions of their character, often using phrases such as "My character wouldn't do that" or "I don't think thats an appropriate action for my character to take". Is unwilling or unable to compramise with their role-playing to keep the game running smooth and help maintain party unity

#51 The Cat-Girl slayer

This player, in an effort to sound smart and informed tries to use physics and science in D&D whenever possible, often times trying to get an advantage in combat due to some obscure rule or law of science. Known to get mad at DMs when a lightning bolt doesn't hit everyone in a body of water because that would be "scientifically acurate", despite the fact that they are arguing science with magic.

#52 The House ruler

Insists on using a huge load of houserules in every D&D game, effectivly turning the game into another system entirely and making the books near worthless. When you suggest to them that they use a different game system rather then changing every aspect of an existing one they will usually find one individual rule of there base system that they like. It is currently unknown why these people dont use a different system and instead make one house rule to implement their favored rule.

#53 The Actor

This player often forgets they are sitting around a table drinking moutain dew with a bunch of friends. They will use elaborate accents and long pre-prepared speaches, and will sometimes even stand up and show you how they are swinging their sword. In extream cases these players show up to sessions dressed like their character. They usually are unaware that they often make the other players uncomfortable as they play D&D instead of LARPing to avoid that kind of thing.

TheThan
2006-10-30, 05:56 PM
#54 The transvestite
This is the type of character who constantly plays cross gender. Not just once or every so often but every game he’s a she, or she’s a he. Their skill with playing cross gender varies wildly, from being terrible to convincing.

#55 The sex freak
Usually a byproduct of someone’s puberty years, this player must find a way to get layed every gaming session. Whether it’s with that serving wench or that evil succubus. They will go off and do it. Even if they know it’s going to destroy their character. Usually accompanied by giddy laughter. Often times can lead other players to feelings of awkwardness.

#56 The X-phile
These are people who love playing a race/class/gender. They will not play anything else. Then they proceed to portray their race/class/gender as being better than everything else. Often times these start off as #4 Drizzt Fanboy but they grow so enamored with something that they believe themselves to be experts. They rarely do any sort of research into their chosen love interest. A perfect example is a Samurai-phile or a ninja-phile.
Worst case scenario they are actually aroused by their own character.

#57 The Transvestite sex-0-phile
This is a combination of #s 54-56. Needless to say this character is truly horrifying to play with.

#58 I’ll show you!
These people get so into the action of the story that they have to physically show you how his barbarian bashes in the orc’s skull. They probably have foam swords and what not to add to the action. Often times they are involved in a sword-manship club, but not always.


# 59 The Thespian
Well known for over acting and overly long descriptions of how he/she does mundane tasks. With these people, charisma is never a dump stat, regardless of class. But they mostly play bards and sorcerers. Often times they are combined with #36 Angsty McGoth (I so want a Tiefling with that name now).

Doug Lampert
2006-10-30, 06:10 PM
#44 Tight lips - I hand out a vital bit of information to a player with the expectation that they'll share this with the others. Instead, they remain stubbornly silent, allowing the entire party to be endangered and closing off that branch of the plot line because they don't want to share the information. Or, they claim later they just forgot.

I've had a character killed by something like this; but in a situation where it was clearly in character for the other player to hide the information. **** happens and it was well played so I had and have no objection to what the player did, but I'm increasingly convinced that spreading information widely is good.


#46 "I'm not Evil" - Similar to Stupid Evil, but while doing various Evil things, they determinedly claim their character is not evil. They tie up hours of the game arguing that their actions aren't evil and refuse to accept the DM's ruling their alignment has changed.

I've got one where the CHARACTER claims not to be evil, and that thus it's obvious that the detect evil spell in the game universe is working wrong (Hey, that ghost they encountered awhile back agreed with him since she also detected as evil, and she was a cleric so she must have been right!). The player OTOH is quite aware of his alignment and doesn't argue it.

I and the rest of the group have no problem with this as long as it's clear it is the character with the alignment delusion. In any case my player's don't actually know their character's current alignments unless they have a detect spell cast or enter the wrong forbiddance.

But from stories I hear it seems that many players seem to have the delusion that Evil means drooling maniac but not selfish bastard, and hence their obvious selfish bastard can't be evil, after all he gave a copper peice to a beggar just last week right after murdering dozens of people to steal thousands of gold.

CabbageTheif
2006-10-30, 06:10 PM
firstly, i would like to say that there are 7 of us. in my champaign and dm#2's champaign, this one guy plays the stupid evil. all the time. in mine, he is more sublte cause he knows i will punish him. and that is not the only other problem the two dm's have with him. therefor i dedicate this post to Mr. Rouge.

Mr. Rogue-#60
no matter the class, race, alignment, or situation, his one desire is to end up on top. this is similar to 'winning at d&d' because this will occasionally, but not always include killing the party. this ussually means always having move silently, no matter the class, and dual weilding, no matter the class. he desires nothing more than to kill all the npc's, steall all the gold, set off all the traps, and blame it all on something slight "i'm role-playing! i felt like it! its in my alignment!"
then gets pissed when the paladin kills him (if you are reading this, paladin, i AM giving you permision to do it whenever you rp that your character should!)

#61-NOSHOW
this is the guy who often has other obligations. that is generaly not a problem, we all have family and outside friends, but NOSHOW willchange plans all because his girlfriend/mother/otherfirend/whatever elses happens at the same time.

noshow is especially deadly when combined with

#62 PLOT DEVICE
this is where the player manages to worm their charater into everything. he has ties to the assassins guild, has attempted to befriend the king, and in all other ways is so intricatley tied to everyting that has happened thusfar into the story that they could figure out everything on their own (out-of game intelligence willing). nothing can happen without them knoqwing aboutit, they pester all of the oter characters about their personal quests untile they become part of those as well. this is the character that loves side quests, pointless role-playing, and finding secrets.

#63 Noodles fer Brains
this is the player who forgets everything. doesn't remember the name of his npc companion, doesnt remember the name of the assassin guild leader, doesnt remember the name of the city they are living in, ect. for this one fault i invented memory checks, cause if they forget as much as they are forgetting, i am hardly going to reward them by telling tthe whole story again at the beginning, end, middle, and after the session. if they failed, i didnt tell them what they forgot.

now, imagine these as well as 'beat D&D' and 'stupid evil' all in one character. and he thinks that he is a good player.
we are going to kill him soon.

TheHawk
2006-10-30, 06:35 PM
#64 The Cheater
Has three 18s on his character sheet, makes ridiculus rolls that no one sees and is insulted when we tell him to re roll.
#65 Meta gamer
Takes advantage of the rules and creats invincable characters.

Name_Here
2006-10-30, 06:44 PM
#66 The All Seeing
Uses OOC knowledge judiciasly to protect his charecter's share of the loot. Never mind that his Barbarian was knocked out and has spot and listne checks that in total equal 5. No he knows that the Rogue took the cool knife and coin purse off the big boss.
#67 The information Horder
The DM who never gives out enough information to allow you to make an intellegent decision. Whether it's just carelessness that causes him to forget to mention the chest or whether he doesn't tell you who the newest power player in his homebrew world is he forces you to live with the decision your charecter never would have made in that situation.

Dhavaer
2006-10-30, 06:58 PM
#54 The transvestite
This is the type of character who constantly plays cross gender. Not just once or every so often but every game he’s a she, or she’s a he. Their skill with playing cross gender varies wildly, from being terrible to convincing.

I do this. I can't bear playing male characters.

TheOOB
2006-10-30, 07:07 PM
#68 The Clinger

Feels an absolute obsessive need to hand onto a paticular class/spells/feat/ability, despite evidence that it is inefficient and silly. Some examples include Two-Weapon fighters(not rogues mind you, fighters), fireball happy mages, and, god-forbid, monkey grippers

#69 The Anti-Power Gamer

This player belives that any attempt to make your character powerful is blatent muchkining and is an excuse to cover bad role-playing. Often builds in dehibiliting flaws into their characters and refuses to plan ahead to be more "realistic", despite the fact that the only adventurers with huge flaws are dead adventurers.

The_Last_Night
2006-10-30, 07:07 PM
#65 Meta gamer
Takes advantage of the rules and creats invincable characters.
I don't think "metagaming" means what you think it means.


I do this. I can't bear playing male characters.
Why not?

Dhavaer
2006-10-30, 07:12 PM
Why not?

Wouldn't have a clue. Just something I find intolerable.

Coffee_Dragon
2006-10-30, 07:27 PM
#17 The Architect
Gets bored easily, so spends his time trying to place all of his dice in a vertical stack, forming a tower.

Heh, I play with dice all the time and I'm not bored. Or... does that mean I am bored? Argh.


#44 Tight lips - I hand out a vital bit of information to a player with the expectation that they'll share this with the others. Instead, they remain stubbornly silent

I thought of this one too. Unless taken to extremes it can lead to goodness, but given the nature of the thread I suppose we're not talking about those cases. (I think we should perhaps remember that having the occasional lapse into many of these frailties is only human/forgivable/unavoidable and so on. Having said that, it's time to mock! Bwahaha etc.)


Known to get mad at DMs when a lightning bolt doesn't hit everyone in a body of water because that would be "scientifically acurate", despite the fact that they are arguing science with magic.

... And especially given that 95% of the "scientifically accurate" physics arguments put forward by people who are into this sort of thing actually aren't.

I haven't personally played with all of these here types, but:

#70 Chaotic Cute
This one's broken off from #21, because I thought it deserved its own entry. This is the person who equates "chaotic" with "loony" and thinks having their character do annoying and unpredictable things makes them lovable and eccentric. Often brag on message boards and online gaming chronicles about the wacky things their characters have done, how upsetting it was for the rest of the players/characters, and how very much "in character" it was.

#71 The Free-former
Will go on about how diceless and ruleless is the only true way to role-play, and how anything less than total GM arbitration lessens the narrative/imposes limits/breaks immersion/etc. Likes to brag about sessions where dice and/or rules weren't used, under the unspoken assertion that this means they have more fun than others.

#72 The System Peddler
Will repeatedly trash the current system, comparing it to something else they wish everyone were playing instead, be it another system or edition. May be heard sighing deeply over the state of humanity while intimating that the 3.5 adaption of a weapon enchantment or prestige class essentially broke D&D.

#73 The Reality Expert
Will often pipe up to remark that some action or circumstance is unwise, improbable or inaccurate, and they know it because of personal experience/extensive scholarship/they read it on the Internet/etc. The likelyhood that they actually know what they're talking about is inversely proportional to the number of times they do this.

#74 The Solo But Not Star
This player wants exclusive DM time devoted to their character, no matter what triviality it may be about. Maybe they're trying to pursue some odd skill or magical project. Maybe they just want to have a little chat with a random NPC that none of the other PCs are in on. Maybe they want to secretly follow up on a lead they thought of. They don't need to shine, they just want the game world to shrink to include only their character for a little while each session. Combined with the Sex Freak, they're the guy who straight-facedly asks the DM if there's a barmaid at the inn who might want to follow him to his room, expecting the DM to take this quite seriously, maybe do a roll, give some brief descriptions and a summary of events. And does this at EVERY inn.

#75 The Rules Expert That Isn't
This player thinks they know all the rules but actually don't. When confronted with ink proving them wrong, will go, "Oh", then do it again an hour later.

Sir_Banjo
2006-10-30, 08:03 PM
#5 What's this do again?
The player who refuses to learn the rules for his own abilities and constantly asks the DM to look up spells for him, since he refuses to buy the books or look them up in the SRD.

Ditto for extra-emphasis.

76. Stonewall Jackson

This player absolutely refuses to back down from an argument. At the merest hint of an inter-party debate, his face will become an impassive wall that no amount of reason or compromise can penetrate. Not really selfish or even unable to work as a team and he can actually be quite fun to have around ... most of the time. Be prepared to write-off the rest of the session. May just like the arguments for the sake of it.

Rex Idiotarum
2006-10-30, 08:13 PM
#77 The Little Brother
Doesn't know what's happening, doesn't care about the rules, and is only here because one player's mom makes him take him.

#78 The I'll Kill You
I don't know what his problem is, but no matter what he or I am playing as, he disagrees with every thing I say, even when there is know reason but to kill me. Not any other party member, just me(I have 6 Cha). He claims he is a cleric of Pelor but decides to team up with a party of Orcs trying to mug me because "I was being evil refusing to give them my Helm of Absolutely Nothing."

Nerd-o-rama
2006-10-30, 08:39 PM
Heh, I play with dice all the time and I'm not bored. Or... does that mean I am bored? Argh.
It means you would be bored if you didn't spend all your time making dice towers.

Nothing new to add for now, although several of these are quite accurate to players I've known. Ever seen a female #55? Not as interesting as one might think.

Vazzaroth
2006-10-30, 08:40 PM
#15 - The Rules Lawyer: I've been known to be kind alike this sometimes... but I think our group needs it -__-
#32 - Stupid Evil: One time, we played a quick "Dark Campaign" that revolved more or less around the whole party doing all these things ^__^

#78 The "What should I do?" player.

Similar to other players described, this player asks someone nearby for advice on their turn every round. Even after being told many times to read the PHB, think about actions before her turn, and givin a run-down on her class's specialties, she still has no mind of her own, and insists that she is "learning how to play".
((Obviously, I knew a girl like this... her character ended up basicaly being a 2nd PC of mine...))

#79 The player that has to be an incredibably rare or strange character and never plays a normal person ((Long...))

This player always chooses a Half-celestial monk who dyes her wings black to stay stealthy or perhaps a druid with a strange animal companion who has a bizarre background and is not involved with the druid community or such. I played with my freind who refused to just play a core race and ALWAYS had to be amazingly diffrent, not to powergame, just for RP values.

#80 THe Chaotic Neutral DM
Decides to give the party things or quests that are completly unexpected or game breaking. Example: My DM gave the party of about 10 over 8 million GP EACH at level 5. He was also a #54...

#81 The System Peddler DM
A DM that hates some parts of 3.5, but not others. Insists to play a "3.25" game, deciding on a whim which parts to play with and which to ditch. Even worse if combined with a power-player DM who decides to keep 3.0 magic items that are underpriced and overpowered in the 3.5 rules...

TheThan
2006-10-30, 08:50 PM
Player 54 isn’t that bad in PBP games since you’re not actually sitting across a table from him, while he speaks in a girly accent. (or some times doesn’t even bother to attempt that. )

Rolaran
2006-10-30, 08:53 PM
#81. The Total Recaller

Continually takes actions that only make sense based on long-forgotten events that occured to the characters earlier. For example, if a jester turns out to be a disguised assassin, then every time the party walks into a courtroom, #81 will immediately kill the jester, turn to the mortified king, and say, "Can't be too careful, Your Majesty. See, this one time...".

Thomas
2006-10-30, 08:58 PM
#81. The Total Recaller

Continually takes actions that only make sense based on long-forgotten events that occured to the characters earlier. For example, if a jester turns out to be a disguised assassin, then every time the party walks into a courtroom, #81 will immediately kill the jester, turn to the mortified king, and say, "Can't be too careful, Your Majesty. See, this one time...".

Hah! That would fit right into a Discworld game.

Everyone knows you should just kill viziers and the like when you meet them. Saves you some trouble later on.

Magnus_Samma
2006-10-30, 08:59 PM
#82: The Kender DM

Infinitely worse than the player type, since every NPC you ever meet is ridiculous and shocking, just for the hell of it. May include NPCs that constantly hit on PCs of the opposite gender regardless of racial compatability issues, villains who prefer to humiliate the PCs with the most awkward methods possible instead of just fighting them, and magic items that inexplicably work nothing like they're actually supposed to. When called on it, will shrug and reply "It's funny."

The_Losar
2006-10-30, 09:21 PM
#83 - The Mathematically challenged.

It's probably nottheir fault, and it seems wrong to get impatient with them, but, well, I get impatient when a player needs to whip out a calculator or count on their fingers every time they make an attack/damage roll, skill check, or save. THis even occurs when they have verything added up beforehand. They roll a 13 and know that they add 18 to the attack roll... 29? 34? I don't have that many fingers...

idksocrates
2006-10-30, 09:28 PM
i've done the dice stacking thing...

i'm actually guilty of many things on the list, not so much so that it gets distracting of the fun from the table though.

I'm actually surprised this one isn't higher up on the list though:

#84: The Munchkin

Has to bring two backpacks to a game in order to bring all his source books. This is the guy who, when creating a character, opens up five different books, 2 of which are not for the stame d20 system as you are playing, and asks if he can use the twenty different variant races/classes/feats/special abilities on his character.
See, when i optimize a wizard, i make a int20 gray elf. when this guy optimizes a wizard, you get a Fire Gnome sorceror, who, through a smattering of various sources, casts fire spells as a fifth level sorceror at level 1.

TheThan
2006-10-30, 09:38 PM
85 been there done that!

The role-player that thinks he/she’s done everything under the sun. Usually started with 1st edition had has been playing for 20 some years. Now he’s just board. He’s saved the princess from all the evil dragons, slew most of the demons in the 9 layers of the abyss and is generally so experienced with rpgs that he can’t seem to find enjoyment out of a game session because he’s done it already.

86 the WoW player

This is the player that started with world of Warcraft, Everquest, Baldure’s (sp?) Gate or some other computer or console rpg. He thinks that tabletop gaming is just an extension of those games and can’t seem to adapt to the new rules and environment. Usually this takes the form of simply confusing spells or some other easy to confuse aspect of the game.

87 the non-player

This is the character that disappears from the gaming table and can be found playing a console game in the next room, or surfing the net if there’s a computer in the area. When asked to join he will play from the console or pc, yelling across the house. Naturally he doesn’t really know what’s going on at the gaming table.

Golthur
2006-10-30, 09:54 PM
#28-It's me! Aren't I a great roleplayer?
Always plays the same character: himself/herself and thinks he's a great roleplayer because of the ridiculous description he gives for this 'charcter'. Closely related to one-face, but more extreme.
Ah, I've had way too many of these in my time. Glad they're mostly gone.

Mostly.

And these:

Mr. Rogue-#60
no matter the class, race, alignment, or situation, his one desire is to end up on top. this is similar to 'winning at d&d' because this will occasionally, but not always include killing the party. this ussually means always having move silently, no matter the class, and dual weilding, no matter the class. he desires nothing more than to kill all the npc's, steall all the gold, set off all the traps, and blame it all on something slight "i'm role-playing! i felt like it! its in my alignment!"
then gets pissed when the paladin kills him (if you are reading this, paladin, i AM giving you permision to do it whenever you rp that your character should!)

#61-NOSHOW
this is the guy who often has other obligations. that is generaly not a problem, we all have family and outside friends, but NOSHOW willchange plans all because his girlfriend/mother/otherfirend/whatever elses happens at the same time.

In my experiences, Mr. Rogue usually takes a few levels of sorcerer (so he can have magic and stealth), and is always Chaotic Neutral, so he can claim he's "roleplaying" when he screws over the rest of the party.

Yep. I've shoved my axe/sword/lightning bolt through a few of these...

I'll add:
#91: The Plot Distortion Device
If one of these learns any fact relevant to the plot, it will inevitably get distorted to something completely different. If he learns the guild of assassins is on the north side of town, it becomes a guild of mages on the south side of town. If he learns that the BBEG's fortress is on top of the mountains, he will tell the party that it's in the swamp. The Plot Distortion Device isn't malevolent, it's just there's a disconnect in his memory, and he feels compelled to "fill in the relevant details".

EDIT: Ninja'd with oriong. I'm renumbering to #91. :D

oriong
2006-10-30, 10:06 PM
#88: The Freshman(inside joke)

A more extreme version of 78, this character simply has no ability to compare options, make decisions, or otherwise show any initiative. During character creation he'll constantly ask, for every single decision 'what's the best' choice, completely refusing to accept that there is not some simple 'super combo', and that superiority depends on character type. He will find every possible way to pass off a decision onto the DM or other PCs. If those he asks refuse to give him some perceived 'best' choice then he will go so far as to get a vote from all the various players and decide from there what to do. Combat takes hours as he spends so much time asking for advice and then agonizing about whether to follow it and then asking again.


#89 The Un-Moralist

(in my game, this is the same person as the Freshman). This player has a complete inability to seperate his, strong, morals from those of his characters and thus refuses to play anything but the most morally upright character. He will panic and freeze if ever in a situation that contains moral gray areas. He cannot be comfortable if there is any chance that he might be doing something 'wrong', and panics at the thought of somehow being tricked into commiting misdeeds by other PCs or by NPCs.
To compound this problem the player creates a character who is completely inapropraite to his moral stance. Like a melee slasher character who doesnt' want to kill, and maxing out bluff when he is uncomfortable lying. Even worse, when put in a 'gray' situation he will often take actions completely against his previously stated morality, and usually going completely overboard (such as killing two rent a cops with a grenade rather than simply attempting to subdue them) and then insist that 'he didn't mean to'.


#90: The Clumsy Mastermind

This player (another example from my games) fancies himself a master planner, and is often at the forefront of any attempt to improvise a creative solution to the problem at hand.
However, while enthusiastic his plans are usually immensely overcomplicated, difficult, or just plain bad. However, this doesn't change the fact that he loves them, even when they literally blow up in his face.
At best, the plan is simply wasted effort. For example in a Star Wars game this player decides to stuff a small mouse droid full of explosives in order to subtley attack and weaken the base they were assaulting. Unfortunately the other players quickly pointed out since they were flying in a 30 foot starship and the base was in the middle of open tundra surrounded by watchemen that there was no way to 'insert' the droids. So they just ended up dropping the driods out of a hatch and setting them off when they hit.
But, if the other PC's can't keep him in line he's liable to do something disastrous, especially when he gets really excited and refuses to tell anyone what he's got planned ("you'll love it, just watch") and proceed to do something absolutely unnecessary, destroying any chance of completing the goal in an efficient or proper manner and often ruining the plans they already have made.

Myatar_Panwar
2006-10-30, 10:20 PM
(im not sure if this ones been said before but here goes)

#91 The Easily Angered and Constantly Wrong Guy

This person always has to have things his way and always thinks he is right. And when he is told that he cant do this, or that the rules dont say so, he will whine and get all angry, saying that the other PC's are out to get him. This is usually followed by the angry throwing of his dice and the utter destruction of all the fun in the room.

Vazzaroth
2006-10-30, 10:21 PM
87 the non-player

This is the character that disappears from the gaming table and can be found playing a console game in the next room, or surfing the net if there’s a computer in the area. When asked to join he will play from the console or pc, yelling across the house. Naturally he doesn’t really know what’s going on at the gaming table.

Haha, sometimes during very long, overnight sessions my group takes "Halo breaks". Also reminds me of the Dead Ale Wives: "Where's the Cheetos?! Where's the mountin dew?! Infact:

#87 B The snacker

Seems to comes to meetings for the Dew and Cheetos. Spends most of his time scrounging the DM's house for food, or asking for money to go buy more.

the_tick_rules
2006-10-30, 10:24 PM
Here's some not mentioned that annoy me:



#46 "I'm not Evil" - Similar to Stupid Evil, but while doing various Evil things, they determinedly claim their character is not evil. They tie up hours of the game arguing that their actions aren't evil and refuse to accept the DM's ruling their alignment has changed.


no additions but kudos for one of this one i forgot. i've seen so many people abuse the LN, CN, and N alignments with blatant greedy murders and disregard for civilans by fireballing a store and saying "he's not evil, he's neutral, he just doesn't care." not exactly what the alignment means ya know.

RandomNPC
2006-10-30, 10:41 PM
92???

the herd mentalist.

this guy has a herd mentality for everyone in a fight. the wizard has fireball ready? "ok guys clear out its gonna get hot" need some help? "ok now on your next turn heal me so i can keep this things off you"
he plays the character well, distributes treasure evenly, even uses his abilties to help the other players when applicable. but if he knows you have an ability.... ok use fireball on the third round, so we can get in, hit and get out.

The_Pope
2006-10-30, 10:49 PM
*93: The In-the-Closet Sexophile

Somewhat like #57. This is the creepy guy (or girl) that always seems to have his character hit on the characters of other players of the same sex. Either playing a male or a female, he's always flirting it up with your character and going into extremely vivid details of what he does in his flirtations. Each and every character without fail. The character comes in, boom, he's already going at it. And when confronted on the issue will reply angrily "Oh you're just afraid and uptight!"

StGlebidiah
2006-10-30, 11:02 PM
#94: Railroad Engineer and Track Layer

A DM who ran out of ideas in the last session. They start each session with a new idea, which then must be followed to the end. Despite the complete lack of overall direction, every single session will be tightly railroaded. Attempts to deviate from the plan will result in increasingly contrived and obvious attempts to keep the players on the path.

#95: Sneakthief

A player who firmly believes that the description of the Rogue (or equivalent) class states that they must steal anything, anytime, anywhere that it is possible to do so regardless of any other considerations. As this is usually during treasure distribution, they end up stealing from the party more than anyone else. Ignores any arguments as to why a Rogue just might, maybe, NOT steal from the people they are travelling with. Always ends up universally hated, ESPECIALLY after they start using Skill checks to justify stealing things they would never actually use. Will usually evolve to be the character that takes first watch and takes everything in the night if not killed by the party or the DM. Is also a one-dimensional character.

#96: "If you keep doing that, something MIGHT happen!"

A DM who is foolish enough to allow characters to have "minor" flaws with large potential downsides. The character frequently indulges the flaw, with the DM too scared to enforce the logical consequence. Encourages the use of the flaw as roleplaying. Is clueless as to how to handle the situation when consequences occur. In this instance, a short, ridiculously simple sidequest to "clear things up" usually occurs, with congratulations going to the player who caused the trouble for their "roleplaying" once again.

TheOOB
2006-10-30, 11:46 PM
#97 McGuyver

Insists on creating odd combos of unrelated spells/feats/and or items to acomplish any goal easily solved with a simpler method. Often brings up rules situations confusion even to veteren players

#98 Mood Killer

Lives to kill the mood of the game at hand. At serious moments will make an inappropriate joke. In funny moments will say something dark and disturbing. Likes to scare away new players

#99 The "This is like that one time, on this show" Guy/Girl

Always feels a need to point out how orginal the DM/Players are being

SalSar_Thiran
2006-10-31, 12:00 AM
#100 Damage Master

This player always has an 18 STR regardless of class. Even as a straight caster wades into meele with a greatsword and personal buffs determined to do the most damage of any party member. Finds it hilarious to outshine the fighter in close combat, and only uses cheesy attack spells. Cares nothing for story, game, or role-playing so long as he can roll more damage then anyone else.

TheOOB
2006-10-31, 12:14 AM
#101 Overkiller

This player always goes above and beyond what is required or suggested of them, often making things much more complicated then need be. Includes people like the person under me who post 102 or more items on a list originally marked for being 101 items :P

Miles Invictus
2006-10-31, 12:18 AM
#102: Showoffy people who post item #101 just so they can say they got the last item on the list.

'nuff said. :p

Tallis
2006-10-31, 12:20 AM
#101-This is the second best game I play!
Constantly has to compare the game to another campaign he plays in. Tells stories about how good that game is while playing this one.
I'm happy to say it's been a long time since I've had one ofthese, but it still annoys me when I think about it. If you like the other game better, then go play the other game!

edit:ninja'd, but I'm still calling it 101 cause I wouldn't want to be one of those over-achievers

Shazzbaa
2006-10-31, 12:54 AM
Technically it says 101+.... but OOB, I must know, were you waiting to grab that slot, or did it just suddenly come to you?

TheOOB
2006-10-31, 01:28 AM
Technically it says 101+.... but OOB, I must know, were you waiting to grab that slot, or did it just suddenly come to you?

I know its 101+, but upon seeing that there where exactally 100 player types i simply couldnt resist. I know Im a bad person :) I dont think I could have planned it.

Selgeron
2006-10-31, 01:56 AM
103
the "I'm just playing to have fun so it's okay to do anything I want" guy

regardless of the other players feelings, regardless of the DM's hardwork, this guy will make his minions do a konga line, wander around throwing pancakes at people and generally ruin the mood entirely for no reason at all. Hard to yell at him because he easily becomes sad and is usually a good friend of everyone else outside of the D&D game.

Goff
2006-10-31, 02:19 AM
#104 - The Mute
The kind of player who fails to take any initiative for biting on a plot hook ever. Leads to one player to seem like a "Star"* without really meaning to.

#105 - Captain Apathy
[Very similar to The Mute but worse.]
The type of player who simply spends most time out of combat as (effectively) an impartial observer. Fails completely to get involved in the game, nor to allow their character to get involved in the plot in any other way than physically, takes no initiative, makes no waves.

#106 - The All or Nothing
[Worse still than Captain Apathy]
This is the kind of player who has to be either the star* (to the point of ignoring other players) or is Captain Apathy, will insist on hijacking the game onto stupid tangents that allow no roleplaying for other characters (because they aren't there).

*See #42 :annoyed: **

**The new OoTS smilies rule

Tormsskull
2006-10-31, 07:13 AM
#107 The "My Character Sucks" Player

This player, as soon as they are thrown into a situation where they are not optimal (re: spellcasters versus spell resistance, rogues versus undead, etc.) immediately complains that their character sucks, that they are worthless, and that they shouldn't even be on this mission. Sometimes they will go so far as to refuse following plot hooks that the rest of party wants to follow because they are aware that they won't be as effective.

Gamebird
2006-10-31, 11:40 AM
#108 "You've got to trust me" Player

Frequently goes off on side quests or comes up with some unlikely scheme and then expects the other players to either wait patiently for their character to return, or follow their directions unfailingly. When questioned in or out of character, they blow up, claiming no one is "trusting" them. I've played with this type way too much. Now, anytime anyone says to me, "You've got to trust me" it's an immediate tip off that they aren't trustworthy by itself. If they were, after all, they wouldn't have to ask.

Fawsto
2006-10-31, 11:59 AM
109 The one who Knows all the Monsters.

This kind of player is a pain in the a** for those DMs that enjoy using the Monster Manual (oops, almost everybody). He is the one who reads any piece of information about all the monsters ever created for the D&D game. He is capable of teling the exact Name, Kind, Attacks, Skills, Similar to Magic and everything else about ANY monsters... Sometimes he knows which monster you are using just by the description. Mostly this Kind of player likes to destroy any kind of surprise in random encounters and to complain about why the statistics that you are using won't match the statistics of the Books.

110 The (not so) Lawfull Good Paladin/Character

This one is pretty funny... This guy keeps doing acts of vilany and saying "I am doing that because I am Lawfull Good"... Ex: Party finds a baby gnoll, ok, everybody knows that gnolls are evil, so the "Sword of Justice" here decides to slain the defenseless Gnoll Baby just because "Gnolls are generally evil and I am Lwaful Good.". This one is a Bastard...

Dkalban
2006-10-31, 01:02 PM
Dang, my little idea has caused alot of ideas hehe

Keep 'em up!

Wren
2006-10-31, 02:46 PM
Hey now, what's wrong with #3? I'm just not very creative is all.

Blue_Painted
2006-10-31, 03:34 PM
#85(a) The Second Guesser
Like #85 this one has seen every possible plot line and always tries to second guess the GM, often causing the GM to railroad his/her own plot to second guess the second guesser.

Were-Sandwich
2006-10-31, 03:39 PM
# 111: The Damen
Combines all of the above into one (yes, even the contradictory ones)

foolsama
2006-10-31, 03:40 PM
#85(a) The Second Guesser
Like #85 this one has seen every possible plot line and always tries to second guess the GM, often causing the GM to railroad his/her own plot to second guess the second guesser.

Message boards in general seem to be teeming with these players....

adanedhel9
2006-10-31, 03:43 PM
#112 - The paper mill. This player continously forgets to bring his/her character sheet to the game. Upon arriving, he/she either creates a brand new character with absolutely no connection to the previous character.

#113 - The imaginary paper mill. The same as #111, but runs his/her previous character anyway, claiming to know exactly what stats the character has, but conveniently forgetting everything (like damage taken or consumed magic items) that might be a disadvantage to the character.

#114 - The self-deified DM. This DM does whatever he/she wants to do, regardless of the rules of the game or any sort of internal consitency, under the justification "The DM is GOD". Does stuff like announce that characters are dead without cause, place traps on doors because the party searched the door for traps, and interupts inter-player and inter-character discussion with random events.

Umbral_Arcanist
2006-10-31, 03:49 PM
...and then complains about how their character can't do anything, then proceeds to call everyone else munchkins.

As a corollary, the player who refuses to min/max at all, taking skill focus(perfom), three times because that's what his bard would do, or maybe refuses to PrC his sorcerer, despite the fact several PrCs could easily be justified RP wise and qualified for and doesn't even have a famililar to progress. All because, heaven forbid, his character is effective

Were-Sandwich
2006-10-31, 03:52 PM
I never have to deal with either of these anti-RP or anti-optomisation problems, as my goup seems to be unique as we try to both make our characters effective, whilst RPing them as well as possible. We are the Mystic Theurges of gamers.

Selgeron
2006-10-31, 03:59 PM
115: Mr. Lucky

This is the worst one, because you can't even get mad at him. It's like playing with an incredibly overpowered munchkin who can do ANYTHING HE WANTS. When he wants to do something totally retarded, 20s, his stats are legit rolled 18 17 18 15 17 18, on his SECOND roll (after he rolled 6 18s). No matter what he does he statistically succeeds it, saves, skill checks, everything, because the d20 is his bitch.

And theres nothing you can do...

Captain van der Decken
2006-10-31, 04:09 PM
We are the Mystic Theurges of gamers.
http://img445.imageshack.us/img445/9089/ackbarif8.jpg

Mystic Theurges aren't that good..

Torger
2006-10-31, 04:58 PM
109 The one who Knows all the Monsters.

This kind of player is a pain in the a** for those DMs that enjoy using the Monster Manual (oops, almost everybody). He is the one who reads any piece of information about all the monsters ever created for the D&D game. He is capable of teling the exact Name, Kind, Attacks, Skills, Similar to Magic and everything else about ANY monsters... Sometimes he knows which monster you are using just by the description. Mostly this Kind of player likes to destroy any kind of surprise in random encounters and to complain about why the statistics that you are using won't match the statistics of the Books.

I have a guy like this. It fills me with a burning rage akin to the white-hot fury of a thousand blazing suns. As an example, they were facing a monster who was invisible and casting spells. No one had true seeing or anything of the kind up, so they couldn't see my ogre mage. I popped open the MM to reference the save DC for this bugger, and this guy gets a glimpse of the opposite page, which says Ooze. In a voice I'm sure they heard in Fiji, he declares, "Hey, that's an Ooze! We must be fighting an Ogre Mage!"

Never before has a creature gained so many character levels in so short a span of time...

Hallavast
2006-10-31, 05:39 PM
I love Ackbar. Nice pic.

Xerillum
2006-10-31, 05:54 PM
116: The Ignorant
this type thinks they can play, but often leaves crying when he stabs a great wyrm dragon with his dagger and ends up dead.

Aidan305
2006-10-31, 07:05 PM
117: The Optimiser

Similar in many ways to the Munchkin, the optimiser always min-max's his character, picking the best feats, skills and PRC's to benifit his character the most. The problem is, he doesn't even realise he's doing it. He's just doing it because it sounds cool.

I had one of these in my campaign for one session. I have had a fear of Warlocks ever since.

Nahal
2006-10-31, 07:20 PM
#118: The Stick-so-far-up-the-bum-it-pierces-the-brain. In this case the stick is more metaphorical, and refers to those players who come up with an interesting enough concept (say, a freed slave who has vowed to never be a slave to anyone again), then turns into a complete meatstick. Typically this player lacks imagination and flexibilitity, resulting in a character that takes his concept so far that it becomes impossible to work with him (e.g. the freed slave refusing to go along with our plan to work with and then betray the BBEG because of the language said BBEG used rather than any disagreement with our plan). I played with a guy who did this with each of the three characters he played. The first time we wished his character out of existence, the second (different campaign) we left him for dead, and the third time (same campaign, but our GM was too kind to boot him) the campaign ended before we got around to killing him.

Tormsskull
2006-10-31, 07:33 PM
115: Mr. Lucky

This is the worst one, because you can't even get mad at him. It's like playing with an incredibly overpowered munchkin who can do ANYTHING HE WANTS. When he wants to do something totally retarded, 20s, his stats are legit rolled 18 17 18 15 17 18, on his SECOND roll (after he rolled 6 18s). No matter what he does he statistically succeeds it, saves, skill checks, everything, because the d20 is his bitch.

And theres nothing you can do...

Since we're calling DMs players throughout this thread, I have an addition to this one:

#119 The Dice bow Down to He(DM)!

This is one of those DMs that plans a minor encounter for the party, but due to his awesome rolls the encounter immediately becomes deadly. He even rolls in front of you, switches dice upon your request, and says the whole time "I'm not usually this lucky" which just peeves you off even more. When you get killed by the lucky critical in the insignificant battle he tries to contain a laugh, but eventually it bursts out of him and he says "You died by a kobold! buuuhaaawaaaaa!"

The_Pope
2006-10-31, 08:22 PM
Never before has a creature gained so many character levels in so short a span of time...

Hah! Okay, now that is one of the best things ever. I've done a few things somewhat along those lines when players piss me off, but that made me smile.

#120 The Zoolander

One of those guys who cant play an non handsome/beautiful character. "I'm really really ridiculously good looking." No matter what their charisma or race, they are always outstandingly pretty and usually end up drawing, or finding a drawing they say looks like the character, and throwing it in your face. Generally the races mauled by pretty boys are humans, half-elves and elves mainly, though these people generally know no bounds in their quest to be pretty.

Tough_Tonka
2006-10-31, 08:52 PM
#121: Can't I summon my elemental inside the monster?

This character needs to take every inch it can with his spells or class features. I repeat its not limited to spell-casters. It can be the fighter who wants to use his base attack on an intimidation check or it can be the rogue who ask if he can make a tumble check to set his AC.

"It's balance because if I roll a 2 I'll have an AC of 13"

Wizzardman
2006-10-31, 09:24 PM
#90: The Clumsy Mastermind

This player (another example from my games) fancies himself a master planner, and is often at the forefront of any attempt to improvise a creative solution to the problem at hand.
However, while enthusiastic his plans are usually immensely overcomplicated, difficult, or just plain bad. However, this doesn't change the fact that he loves them, even when they literally blow up in his face.
At best, the plan is simply wasted effort. For example in a Star Wars game this player decides to stuff a small mouse droid full of explosives in order to subtley attack and weaken the base they were assaulting. Unfortunately the other players quickly pointed out since they were flying in a 30 foot starship and the base was in the middle of open tundra surrounded by watchemen that there was no way to 'insert' the droids. So they just ended up dropping the driods out of a hatch and setting them off when they hit.
But, if the other PC's can't keep him in line he's liable to do something disastrous, especially when he gets really excited and refuses to tell anyone what he's got planned ("you'll love it, just watch") and proceed to do something absolutely unnecessary, destroying any chance of completing the goal in an efficient or proper manner and often ruining the plans they already have made.

Maybe I'm just weird, but I see absolutely no problem with this type of character. Partially because I am one.

But as a DM, this type of character is fun. They make things interesting. They come up with elaborate plans, and they get into the game. When it doesn't work, well... it happens. At least they're trying to do something in game, which is a lot more than I can say for some players.

And the sheer insanity of it can be fun. Nothing makes things interesting for the players [and confuses the NPCs] when random stuff starts blowing up around them, or they're evil plans are foiled by clever use of a usually useless spell [like Horrible Taste]. And even if they do something ridiculous, like pretending to be the BBEG's new and well armed plumbers, we all get a good laugh out of it.

oriong
2006-10-31, 09:36 PM
Yes, they can be quite fun (I'm the DM in this case and I do get a kind of evil satisfaction from watching the 'master plan' fall apart). However, they are still not positive simply because 1) their plans are very, very bad and 2) they often implement them without the approval from the rest of the party.

So while it can be funny if it just ends up getting the mastermind a blackened face, if it ends up completely trashing the mission the rest of the party is involved in, it's not so much fun.

And I should be specific, these aren't 'wacky but effective' plans. They're just bad, bad plans.

Mike_G
2006-11-01, 02:11 AM
#122 The Paladin

Yep. Pretty much.

The "I can't associate with that kind of behavior, I use my Detect Evil on everything I see, I am the Righteous Sword of Justice!!!!!!!"

It's so much fun when another player decides that you have no right to play a character who fights dirty, lies, steals or tries to bargain with a creature with the (Evil) descriptor, even if that's a better solution that fighting it.

Krimm_Blackleaf
2006-11-01, 03:50 AM
123: The elfophile

Never plays anything but an elf. EVER. Thinks they're the greatest, most wonderful races of beings ever to exist (in a few irl situations where they were convinced LotR style elves DID exist) and plays by all the steriotypes set by the elven elders but still have a needlessly complicated elfy story. Always the aloof arrogant elf that looks down on anyone without long enough pointy ears and a so called mastery over the arcane arts.

124: LotR fangirl

Sometimes #123. Girls that are in such deep love with whatever LotR character they have to impliment them into the game as that character is thier character's lover or husband or sexslave(*shudder*) and not only that can't roleplay it because they're morons*.

*ex-girlfriend

TheOOB
2006-11-01, 04:20 AM
#125 The "I'm too sexy for my shirt" guy

Some people have no buissness playing trying to play the sexy, charismatic bard who woos all the ladies...like this guy. A good sign you have this guy in your group is when half of his lines would belong on a pick-up line of the day calender. He's not sexy...he's not even funny, and you hope to god he doesn't try to pick up girls in real life the way he does in character (though if he did it would explain some things).

Narmoth
2006-11-01, 07:07 AM
Nr 126, the roleplayer

He uses 5 minutes youst to tell how he grooms his horce and does other mundane tasks. When anyone complains (since all are waiting for him to tie his horse and say good bye to it so they can enter the dungeon and whack some monsters) he ansvers that he is roleplaying. He also expects xp for telling the Dm that he goes and takes a bath.

Nr 127, the immortal NPC

I have played with a Dm that creates encounters which we in all likehood will attack (like the undead warrior that is clearly evil on detect aligment checks and is placed in a room that it self is evil) and kills us. When we complain that the encounter was unbalanced, he claims that we were not supposed to attack at all.

Narmoth
2006-11-01, 07:07 AM
Nr 1: rule that when a new campaign starts, all start with new characters of a certain level, like L 1. Never forget, the DM is the God of the campaign and decide what rules to use and which to not use.
Nr 2: well, I can’t fully grasp the nature of the problem, I’ll get back to it
Nr 3: talk to him first, encouraging better roleplaying. Punish stupidity, punish it harsh, and warn about it before start of each game session.
Nr 4: create a society which hates elves and burn them as witches. (This is a good trick to discourage half the group to play elves in a human setting) Prohibit scimitars. Prohibit drow rangers.
Nr 5: got 3 of them in the group I’m DM-ing, don’t know what to do. Have ruled that they can not cast spells which they can’t find the description for, this helps a bit.
Nr 6, 13 and 14: only I have read all the rules, and before the campaign starts I announce which rules apply and how I understand them, all arguing shall be done when we are NOT playing. For nr 13, homerules are very effective.
Nr 7: make him pay for it. So much that he can’t afford to get more than one such item pr level. Make him take additional proficiencies to use them. In the end he will only make real improvements that really can give an advantage, and the game is enriched by new and exiting stuff.
Nr 8: let NPC get annoyed with him and take revenge. I have a player who made fun of the order of paladins in my campaign. They threw him out of the window from 2nd floor. Later they made him, a 7th L elven mage wear a woman’s pink dress in public. (The funniest part were of course when he later broke into a vampires house and forgot to take of the dress, making a certain impression on the vampire and his court).
Nr 9: find ways to stop him carrying out the plan early in the game, warn him that it sucks. Make him loose stuff when he carries out the plan. Also twist his plan in such a way that he regrets trying it.
Nr 10: never play with him as a GM / DM
Nr 11: steal from him. When he tries to make his teammates help him recover the treasure that he earlier cheated them for, they won’t agree, and he will discover why he should try to keep the rest of the team happy with him. Make taxes which are percentages of the characters wealth and which are collected by true-seeing wizards (all bluff and so on checks fail).
Nr 12: easy: don’t let the group meet ANY monsters. Make quests with sneaking and hiding. Make guards that never imprison, only kill (maybe send to slavery the first time). And make them strong and many, so they can’t be defeated. The brute will be forced to keep a low profile to stay alive. Use every opportunity to warn about the powerfull guards and the harsh laws, so he knows what’s coming. It also helps if the player-races are narrowed down, so the most powerful character can do more than just kill, so when the brute starts to behave, he has abilities he can contribute to the game.
Nr 15: announce that house rules will be used. Write down all rules you use and never let anyone read them all. Tell him that his practice is annoying and ask him to stop. Remind him that the DM can change or rule out rules.
Nr 16: say no. Don’t start the game until the player has accepted your decision.
Nr 17: try to resolve discussions and preparing more quickly. When a player gets bored, it is the DMs fault. Much of this can be solved by discussing it with the players.
Nr 18: have no idea what to do. Maybe a bit of the same problem that with nr 17
Nr 19: nearly kill his character often, then he will stop whining about minor wounds.
Nr 20: ignore him. Let him play his way, if its to annoying, tell him.
Nr 21: make the shopkeeper get angry and refuse to haggle. Attack him while drunk and force him to apply penalties to his fighting. Make the squirrels bite him and infect him with rabies or another disease. Get him arrested (and maybe executed on the spot) for breaking in into random houses. Ask him if he bends down to the feet of the described character to check the color of the socks and then get him kicked.
Nr 22: create one-way dungeons, dungeons where they can’t get out where they got in.
Nr 23: let him face the consequences of his actions. Create situations whish reward clever selection of feats and weapons and harshly punish stupid choices. Give only individual Xp. The guy who can’t kill even a badger will quickly get annoyed of his own character and ask to make a new.
Nr 24: don’t allow half anything. Ask yourself and the player what is the difference between playing a dwarf, a gnome and a half dwarf, half gnome. Remember that all such mixes get the worst from both races, meaning that the dwarf-gnome would have only the features common for both dwarves and gnomes, and no additional bonuses.
Nr 25: as long as the player gets out quick, it isn’t a problem. Try to involve the player in the storyline, this may often help. Also let the two lowers rescue each other to force them to fight better. (try to explain your great love why you didn’t save him/her, even if it’s only a game)
Nr 26: force a re-roll (the DM didn’t see the result), this time announcing what needs to be scored. If failed, the player has to face the consequences:
Aragorn, elven ranger, a priest and a fighter wake up in the tavern at night as someone is kidnapped from the next room (both on 2nd floor). They come to aid, only to see the kidnappers getting the horses outdoors. The priest and the fighter jump out and engage the bandits. Arragorn decide to stop the kidnapping bandits from getting their horses, and decides to jump on one of the horses. I, the Dm, require an ability check to see if he can do this. The check is failed badly, and he hits the wooden “thing” that the horses were tied to. Aragorn, having forcefully landed on it with legs apart passes out for at least one round (and he won’t have kids).
The point is, the problem was solved by finding an ability check (dex) to be roled for, and consequences for failing it was enforced, putting an effective end to DC-setting.
Nr 27: Make situations where his min/max doesn’t work. If he start killing or attacking his team-mates (like in a frenzy), kill him.
Nr 28.1: Talk to him. If he is really irritating, then no one will play with him anyway, and you can threaten with kicking him out of the group.
Nr 28.2: Point out all the negative traits the character has that he shares with the player.
Nr 29: Let the party solve it. They will have to work it out through role-playing or to split the group. Ask the player if he really believes that you would care to run his solo adventures in addition to the rest of the players adventure, especially if the rest plays along by what the DM has prepared, and he try to always upset all the planning.
Nr 30: Kill him using guards, celestial beings, kidnapping monsters and so on. Monsters that he can’t defeat on his own but which the group can defeat together will clearly show him that he should stick to his team or remove his character from the game.
Nr 31: say no. Never allow anything in your campaign that you don’t approve of. Also, you will see answer to give to your DM.
Nr 32: the same as with nr 12, the bully. Let the cityguards, or the traveling paladin-regiment take him and kill him.
Nr 33: let only the character suffer the consequences of his actions. You could let the group hide when a lot of monsters shoved up, and let the monsters only find the character who attracted them in the first place. Remember that smart actions should be rewarded and stupid punished.
Nr 34: give each a background story or require them to make one up.
Nr 35: send demonhunters after him. Make it unprofitable to be demon / thiefling or vampire
Nr 36: ignore him, never feel sory for him, and tell him to come in better shape next time.
Nr 37: be realistic. If the NPC is dead, then he is so. Always have an alternative solution to the quests that does not involve talking / fighting / bribing the NPC
Nr 122: weaken the detect evil so that he hardly detects anything when the canibal 26 L priest of Belsebub the elder stand before him and prepares to cast slay living on the paladin.

NullAshton
2006-11-01, 09:31 AM
Most of these qualities I have either in myself, or have observed in other people... Interestingly enough, those qualities in small amounts is what makes games fun. When it gets too much is when it gets bad.

AKA_Bait
2006-11-01, 09:43 AM
# 126 The Slasher

Writes fanfic, almost always exclusivley slash. Always makes a character that is the opposite gender of themselves and gay. Proceeds to try to get their chracter some action, usually off screen, with another party member. These tend to come in pairs.

NullAshton
2006-11-01, 09:59 AM
Some of the things here I haven't seen, however, which is a good thing... some things are NOT OKAY in small amounts...

GolemsVoice
2006-11-01, 10:24 AM
# 127 Sam Fisher
I do have one of those in the group I am part of. He is a good roleplayer, and a nice and kind person, but sometimes anoys me. Whenever the situation will require some planning, he will pick up even the slightest memoriy abot the object to forge a cunning plan. This plan would, if it would realy be arried out like this, be silent, quick and effective. But because it is set on wrong or very vague facts, the plan is far to complicated where an axe would have done the same.

Were-Sandwich
2006-11-01, 11:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Were-Sandwich http://www.giantitp.com/forums/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1493327#post1493327)
We are the Mystic Theurges of gamers.

http://img445.imageshack.us/img445/9089/ackbarif8.jpg

Mystic Theurges aren't that good..


I know. It was a metaphor

DEMONhunter
2006-11-01, 11:14 AM
#128 Self-Titled Master of the Sleight of Hand Skill
Whether he rolls low numbers or high numbers, he will always fudge the roll. Even when he's doing it blatantly in front of your eyes, he expects no-one to notice. When you do, he will deny it completely. He'll say that you just need some glasses/stronger glasses, its not his fault you're blind. He doesn;t care that this is denying reality, thus he can be summed up in one word: Infuriating.

NullAshton
2006-11-01, 11:21 AM
#129 Master of Stacking Odds
No matter what, he will always stack the odds in his favor. By any means possible, he will have the highest possible odds of whatever favorable event he wants. This will even go to the extreme of bypassing alignments and incharacter actions, going into the realm of metagaming. After all, odds are that you'll get lucky one time out of twenty.

I'm guilty of that a bit, though working on making it still fit within in-character actions... Metagaming isn't that bad if you're subtle about it...

idksocrates
2006-11-01, 11:34 AM
#90: The Clumsy Mastermind

This player (another example from my games) fancies himself a master planner, and is often at the forefront of any attempt to improvise a creative solution to the problem at hand.
However, while enthusiastic his plans are usually immensely overcomplicated, difficult, or just plain bad. However, this doesn't change the fact that he loves them, even when they literally blow up in his face.
At best, the plan is simply wasted effort. For example in a Star Wars game this player decides to stuff a small mouse droid full of explosives in order to subtley attack and weaken the base they were assaulting. Unfortunately the other players quickly pointed out since they were flying in a 30 foot starship and the base was in the middle of open tundra surrounded by watchemen that there was no way to 'insert' the droids. So they just ended up dropping the driods out of a hatch and setting them off when they hit.
But, if the other PC's can't keep him in line he's liable to do something disastrous, especially when he gets really excited and refuses to tell anyone what he's got planned ("you'll love it, just watch") and proceed to do something absolutely unnecessary, destroying any chance of completing the goal in an efficient or proper manner and often ruining the plans they already have made.

omg, this guy, along with munchkin, put togehter make up the entire character of Red Mage from 8-bit-theatre

Were-Sandwich
2006-11-01, 11:40 AM
#128 Self-Titled Master of the Sleight of Hand Skill
Whether he rolls low numbers or high numbers, he will always fudge the roll. Even when he's doing it blatantly in front of your eyes, he expects no-one to notice. When you do, he will deny it completely. He'll say that you just need some glasses/stronger glasses, its not his fault you're blind. He doesn;t care that this is denying reality, thus he can be summed up in one word: Infuriating.
This guy really gets on my nerves too.

NullAshton
2006-11-01, 11:45 AM
Red Mage: Proof again that some of these qualities are really not that bad, and quite funny.

Vazzaroth
2006-11-01, 01:03 PM
#130 The agro railroad DM

This DM has every interation the party will go through planned out for the next 5 years. When the party goes slightly off-track or does something unexpected, he throws things. Literally. At his players. Very dangerous unless in a PbP. Example: My Dm cut a players peper in half with some scissors lying around when he got mad at one bard player who wouldn't stop playing his lute.

Maxymiuk
2006-11-01, 01:08 PM
#130 The agro railroad DM
Example: My Dm cut a players peper in half with some scissors lying around when he got mad at one bard player who wouldn't stop playing his lute.

*BLINK*

Tell me this is just a typo that can be humorously misinterpreted...



Emphasis mine, of course.

SalSar_Thiran
2006-11-01, 02:33 PM
#131 Look, I'm different

This player refuses to play the standard, and demands to be allowed to play something not allowed. This player won't play Werewolf the game, absolutely has to play a werewolf in a Vampire game. The samuari in the strictly western setting is another favorite of his. This player is infuriating in that he won't play unless allowed to play something against the set rules just so that he can be unique.

Shazzbaa
2006-11-01, 02:51 PM
Red Mage may be hilarious to us, but do note that he drives his fellow players crazy. :smallwink:


#128 Self-Titled Master of the Sleight of Hand Skill
Whether he rolls low numbers or high numbers, he will always fudge the roll.
So then you start making him roll things like Strength checks (where you have to roll lower than your strength score to succeed, so a higher number may screw you up) or switch things up so that high numbers means a higher chance of failure somtimes... and in any case, don't tell him what he's rolling for. "Roll a D20," you say, and you're not going to tell him if a natural 20 means that he successfully will-saved, or that he was successfully charmed, until after he announces his number. That way he won't know whether to fudge high or low.

As long as you announce ahead of time that the typical 20=good/1=bad isn't necessarily going to apply, it's cool.

Gamebird
2006-11-01, 02:54 PM
#131 Look, I'm different

This player refuses to play the standard, and demands to be allowed to play something not allowed. This player won't play Werewolf the game, absolutely has to play a werewolf in a Vampire game. The samuari in the strictly western setting is another favorite of his. This player is infuriating in that he won't play unless allowed to play something against the set rules just so that he can be unique.

I hate those guys!

Were-Sandwich
2006-11-01, 02:55 PM
You don't know this guy. He'll 'slyly' conceal the die with his hand, wait until you tell him what he rolled for, then tell you what he 'rolled'. He finds a way round everything. Whats even more annoying is he makes no effort to conceal his cheating, but just steadfastly insists he rolled what he says he rolled, even when faced with ireffutable evidence. The guy's jackass.

idksocrates
2006-11-01, 02:58 PM
#132 The Director

This is the DM that likes to run your game like a movie or a video game. Cinematics included. That means that whenever the game moves to a point in the story that he planned ahead in, his event takes place, regardless of the actual events that led up to it, and regardless of player intent during the scene.
In a major boss battle where my duelist was just about to finish the bbeg, the "cut scene" rolls in, and the Star Bard character (brother to the DM) is suddenly in front of the boss, with the guy on his knees (i think an invisible hand grabbed me and threw me 30 feet back), and the bard uses one of the other players borrowed scimitars (that he's not even proficient with) to decapitate the boss.

Were-Sandwich
2006-11-01, 03:11 PM
Reminds me of the jackass player me and DEMONhunter/Daniel_Sa keep referring to.

1:"Your walker moves closer toward the giant robots"
2:"But I don't want to"
1:"You have to, this is a cutscene"

Narmoth
2006-11-01, 03:38 PM
#112 - The paper mill. This player continously forgets to bring his/her character sheet to the game. Upon arriving, he/she either creates a brand new character with absolutely no connection to the previous character.

#113 - The imaginary paper mill. The same as #111, but runs his/her previous character anyway, claiming to know exactly what stats the character has, but conveniently forgetting everything (like damage taken or consumed magic items) that might be a disadvantage to the character.

#114 - The self-deified DM. This DM does whatever he/she wants to do, regardless of the rules of the game or any sort of internal consitency, under the justification "The DM is GOD". Does stuff like announce that characters are dead without cause, place traps on doors because the party searched the door for traps, and interupts inter-player and inter-character discussion with random events.

To deal with "the paper mill" and avoid random deaths of the players, I keep a complete copy of every character in the group any time I am DM-ing.
I'm also partially guilty in being #114, claiming my desicions to be above the rules but not above argument. Interestly, no complaints so long no obvious loss of players due to my Dm-ing) :smallcool:

SalSar_Thiran
2006-11-01, 03:56 PM
Compendium of Bad Player Archetypes
I have renamed some of these to be more general/less long and attached redundant ones as coralaries to the most detailed. Any help fixing this list up a bit mroe would be appreciated, the people can print it out and tell their players that they are acting like a number X :smalltongue:

1. The Miles
2. Me. Be very, very afraid.
3. One-face
4. The Angsty Dizzit
5. What's this do again?
6. The leniant GM
7. The Tweak-Freak
8. The Kender
9. I’m the Best, Me!!
10. The Armchair GM
10a. Stupid DM
11. Greedy-fingers McCoy
12. The Brute
13. The "I AM THE RULES!" Player
14. The Split-Personalitied Player
15. The Rules Lawyer
16. The "It's in this Book so I get to Use It" Player
17. The Architect
18. The Drunkard
18a. Headache guy
19. The Hypochondriac
20. The Disabled
21. The Microgamer
22. The Resource Weenie:
23. The Fish out of Water
24. The Racial Paragon
25. "I'm here for my Boyfriend"
26. The DC setter
27. The Munchkin
28. Mr. Welsh
28. It's me! Aren't I a great roleplayer?
29. Anything to annoy the DM
30. I win at D&D
31. I can beat the DM
32. Stupid Evil
33. All for ME
33a. Chaotic Cute
34. 1/2 dimensonal character
35. The "I'm better then you at everything" guy
36. Angsty McGoth, the Fearless Wonder
37. The Complaining Suicide
38. The "I'll Screw You" DM
39. The Mooch
40. Xenophobe
41. Looselips
42. The Solo/Star
43. The anachronist
44. Tight lips
45. Sleepy
46. "I'm not Evil"
47. "I'm only role playing"
48. Tangent-boy
49. The Story Hijacker
50. The "Loose" Player
51. The Cat-Girl slayer
52. The House ruler
53. The Actor
54. The transvestite
55. The sex freak
56. The X-phile
57. The Transvestite sex-0-phile
58. I’ll show you!
59. The Thespian
60. Mr. Rogue
61. NOSHOW
62. PLOT DEVICE
63. Noodles fer Brains
64. The Cheater
65. Meta gamer
66. The All Seeing
67. The information Horder
68. The Clinger
69. The Anti-Power Gamer
70. Chaotic Cute
71. The Free-former
72. The System Peddler
73. The Reality Expert
74. The Solo But Not Star
75. The Rules Expert That Isn't
76. Stonewall Jackson
77. The Little Brother
78. The I'll Kill You
78. The "What should I do?" player.
79. The Out there character
80. The Chaotic Neutral DM
81. The System Peddler DM
81. The Total Recaller
82. The Kender DM
83. The Mathematically challenged.
84. See 27
85. The been there done that!
85a. The Second Guesser
86. the WoW player
87. the non-player
87b. *see The Mooch
88. The Freshman
89. The Un-Moralist
90. The Clumsy Mastermind
91. The Plot Distortion Device
91. The Easily Angered and Constantly Wrong Guy
92. the herd mentalist
93. The In-the-Closet Sexophile
94. Railroad Engineer and Track Layer
95. Sneakthief
96. "If you keep doing that, something MIGHT happen!"
97. McGuyver
98. Mood Killer
99. The "This is like that one time, on this show" Guy/Girl
100. Damage Master
101. Overkiller
101. This is the second best game I play!
103* See All for ME 33
104. The Mute
105. Captain Apathy
106. The All or Nothing
107. The "My Character Sucks" Player
108. "You've got to trust me" Player
109. The Monster Manual
110. The Confused Paladin
111. The Damen (aka My god how can you do that)
112. The paper mill
113. The imaginary paper mill
114. The self-deified DM
115. Mr. Lucky *see also The Damage Master, The Cheater
116. The Ignorant
117. The Optimiser
118. The Refuser
119. The Dice bow Down to He(DM)! *see also Mr. Lucky
120. The Zoolander
121. The 'No, really. Can I do that?'
122. The Awful Lawful-A****le Paladin
123. The elfophile
124. LotR fangirl
125. The "I'm too sexy for my shirt" guy
126. the roleplayer
127. the immortal NPC
126. The Slasher
127. Sam Fisher
128. Self-Titled Master of the Sleight of Hand Skill
129. Master of Stacking Odds
130. The agro railroad DM
131. Look, I'm different
132. The Director
133. The Never Resurected
134. The Synergy Whore.
135. The XP Addict
136. The Monk
137. Caffine Nut
138. The ADD freak
139. Head in the Clouds
140. The Drunken TiVo Monkey (Player)
141. The Drunken TiVo Monkey (DM)
142. WoW-ee gee, not the time
143. Made in the USA
144. Felon Facing Parole
145. The Henchman
146. Details...
147. The Manhattan Project
148. LEROOOOOOOY JENKINS!!!
149. The Master Plan
151. Pun Pun *POW*152: The Forced Healer
153. The rewind freak
154. The Catchphrase Lexicon

idksocrates
2006-11-01, 04:11 PM
apparantly i missed that Munchkin had been listed already, so you can add my munchkin #84 as a collary to #27

ultimacrom
2006-11-01, 05:14 PM
133 - The Never Resurected

This is the play who is so very in love with their character that they can't fathom losing a level to be resurected. Rather than suffer such a fate, (s)he will either harrass the DM until allowed to make a new character or just up and quit.

idksocrates
2006-11-01, 05:43 PM
wow... they love their character so much that they'd prefer to lose them than to lose some insubstantial quality that makes them slightly more powerful.

that's devotion right there, bro.

MrNexx
2006-11-01, 05:49 PM
134) Me: The Synergy Whore.

This character (Usually a Rogue, Bard, Cloistered Cleric, or something with 6+ skill points) has Synergy. Lots of it. From lots of sources. And asks about more. The character who took three Profession skills? That's him, because Profession: Sailor would add to Use Rope, Swim, and Climb.

idksocrates
2006-11-01, 06:04 PM
i wouldn't call that a worst player scenario, just a usage of the game the way that the synergy rules pretty much encourages. i mean, even in character, aren't there some characters that have commitement issues and drift job to job? people are oddballs and people who are particularly interesting in learning may pick up jobs just to learn the ropes*.

*hehe pun intended.

Tough_Tonka
2006-11-01, 09:24 PM
#135. The XP Addict


DM:"Okay let me add this bonus XP and divided by 3."

XP Addict: "Can't you just give us to level up"

DM:"No, you just got to 4th level and I doubt you got enough experince after four encounter"

XP: "GOD!,(sigh) back when (GM I) DMed we always leveled up after each adventure. That's what sucks about 3.5, the characters level up so slowly."


This character needs to level up, as fast he can. Maybe he has a build he really wants to make or maybe he wants to achieve some major conquest. Whatever the reason he can bear the thought of being the same level throughout a session no matter how short it is.

MrNexx
2006-11-01, 09:39 PM
i wouldn't call that a worst player scenario, just a usage of the game the way that the synergy rules pretty much encourages. i mean, even in character, aren't there some characters that have commitement issues and drift job to job? people are oddballs and people who are particularly interesting in learning may pick up jobs just to learn the ropes*.

*hehe pun intended.

You haven't seen me cursing at the computer, trying to make it give me more skill points so I can get even more synergy... or begging for synergy. I'm like Pac-Man. (http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=136)

Hario
2006-11-01, 10:01 PM
The Monk

This Player always PCs a monk type character may it be to only throw in a one level dip 'for flavor'. He usually claims how the cool things he can do and will always win in the game. Sometimes acts Flamboyant and may have gender issues that need to be solved outside of the game table. With his suave and panache ways he always tries to add 'flare' to his fighting styles. They have also been known to annoy the party with adding Vow of poverty/Peace/nonviolence/ Insert feat to screw the party just because they can.


Caffine Nut

This player constantly brings a 3 liter soda bottle of mountain dew or an energy drink to the game because their addiction is just that bad. They tick off players when they are twiching and tapping or causing distractions because they are such on a Caffine high that anything else is just boring. Around the time when their turn for combat shows up they always need to hit the bathroom and miss their turn and show their displeasure to the rest of the party for the rest of the initive by continue to whistle and tap.

The ADD freak

You might get this one confused with the Caffine nut but when you realise they can't keep focus for more than 2 seconds you'll know why. Make sure this player is properly medicated before comming to games or they may whistle or do other innappropriate/annoying things for other players

Head in the Clouds

This player is too bored and keep his mind in the game. Often known for playing on a laptop durring games, or staring off to space. They always don't pay attention when they DM asks for rolls. They never think whats going on in the game. They often don't know any or much of the rules in the game, they generally are a 5th wheel.

Rex Idiotarum
2006-11-01, 10:04 PM
Wow, I'm a Caffinated ADD freak, good luck with me.

Jade_Tarem
2006-11-01, 10:47 PM
Wow, coming in late like this, most of my pet peeves have been seen already. There are a couple I haven't seen yet posted.

140: The Drunken TiVo Monkey (Player): This player is very closely related to the "been there done that" but instead of giving up on the game will attempt to "fast forward" the game over several encounters or other such things. In finding out that there was xp and treasure to be had, however, will desperately attempt to rewind to pick it up. This player will also attempt to rewind when unforseen consequences, usually from his actions, blindside the party in negative fashion.

141: The Drunken TiVo Monkey (DM): This is far worse than the player version. The DMTiVo will speed up time based on a real life time constraint, such as the session needing to end soon, and will then proceed to back it up to fix a missed detail, then slow down, then speed up, rewind, pause, rewind again, splice, oh bugger now it's all out of order, etc. Unfortunately this DM will also give overpowered loot to the party to speed through a section, then be surprised when the party attempts to use it again later, using contrived methods to strip it from them, and then will TiVo when that doesn't work again. It's like living in "Back to the Future" from HELL.

142: WoW-ee gee, not the time: This player has a clear distinction of the difference between WoW and DnD, and knows the rules difference. However, comments about WoW still seep into the session. God forbid you have an area name that matches somthing that Blizzard came up with one patch previously. This may not sound like a problem, but as one who plays WoW myself, let me state that there are THOUSANDS of areas in WoW, avoiding all of them is insane. At this point you can change the area name in your game (preferred, but it destroys realism), or you can persist, and by doing so the player will continue to make joking references to npc's, buildings, bad guys, etc. that can be found at that site in WoW. In extreme situations, the character may joke about what thier WoW character would do, and i've had to repeatedly remind one player that "cold-blooded eviscerate" is not a legal rogue move in DnD, at least not without a die roll. The only way it gets worse is when you have two WoW players at one table, and one decides to get competitive, and all of a sudden you have this raging, immortal, class on class debate. Headaches all around. Laugh at the nerdiness if you want, you will deal with this player eventually.

143: Made in the USA: This player plays a character that, for whatever reason, cannot stand the members of another DnD race (the target in my group is usually gnomes). The character just has a problem with the other one. It isn't roleplaying, it's annoying.

144: Felon Facing Parole: Although a particular class/feat/build/situation hurt or destroyed a session (or even a campaign) in a previous bout of DnD, will continually plead for a second, third, fourth (you get the idea) attempt at it. For example, a long time ago, no one in my group understood psionics. Some played it anyway, however, and we found out that psions were doing some incredible things (70,000 damage at level 6, anyone?) I know that this isn't possible, please don't come on with a response saying that psionics is the most beautiful thing to ever hit DnD, and that magic should be based off of it, and that psionics needs as many support books as magic. You see, after the initial stupidities (you mean we cant keep augmenting past our manifester level? dang...) I am repeatedly assured that we get it now, and that it isn't broken, and couldn't we try it one more time? Alas, 3d6 charisma damage a round! Immortality! Transfer to a completely unbalanced monster body! And they still want me to unblock psionics.

145: The Henchman: No paragraph here, this one is a new player inducted into DnD halfway through a high-level game, and as such has his friend, who built and twinked his character, how to do everything. He doesn't want to solicit advice like the previous incarnations, he has to.

146: Details...: This player will build a fully max'ed min'ed character, only to find out that one critical feat slot is missing, or that a spell says *character* level and not *caster* level, and then realizes that thier character is worthless halfway through a game.

147: The Manhattan Project: This player will build a massively twinked, SUPA- powerful combo of some form or another, then promise to limit his actions to within reason, but leaves the character as is. How sporting of you. This amounts to a slap in the face to the DM: "I've discovered a way to wreck your campaign any time that I choose, but I won't do it for now, because I'm special and wonderful. And you'd better not do something that puts the party in TOO much danger, cuz, ya know. Now what do you have to eat?"

148: LEROOOOOOOY JENKINS!!!: If you don't know what this is, count yourself lucky.

149: The Master Plan: This character is similar to The Manhattan Project, but has a ludicrous set of contingencies rather than an overvamped character to meet his ends. The worst part about this is that The Master Plan can remain hidden.

150: Long Train Running: A DM or Player who will not let a situation die... or end... and makes simple encounters needlessly dangerous and complicated.

151: Pun Pun *POW*: This player feels compelled, in any decent argument, to bring pun pun into the equation as if it makes him the wittiest person in the state. Leave the kobold alone, folks.

Huh, guess my players are worse than I thought :P Of these, I am guilty of being a partial DTiVoM, and of possible Long Train Situations. I try my best, though...

TheThan
2006-11-01, 11:26 PM
142: WoW-ee gee, not the time: This player has a clear distinction of the difference between WoW and DnD, and knows the rules difference. However, comments about WoW still seep into the session. God forbid you have an area name that matches somthing that Blizzard came up with one patch previously. This may not sound like a problem, but as one who plays WoW myself, let me state that there are THOUSANDS of areas in WoW, avoiding all of them is insane. At this point you can change the area name in your game (preferred, but it destroys realism), or you can persist, and by doing so the player will continue to make joking references to npc's, buildings, bad guys, etc. that can be found at that site in WoW. In extreme situations, the character may joke about what thier WoW character would do, and i've had to repeatedly remind one player that "cold-blooded eviscerate" is not a legal rogue move in DnD, at least not without a die roll. The only way it gets worse is when you have two WoW players at one table, and one decides to get competitive, and all of a sudden you have this raging, immortal, class on class debate. Headaches all around. Laugh at the nerdiness if you want, you will deal with this player eventually.

If you think that's bad, you should try DMing an entire party of this. ALL of my freinds play WoW, and we can't do anything without WoW jokes poping up.

Tallis
2006-11-02, 12:28 AM
Yup, my entire group plays WoW too. Can't get through a session without at least a half hour discussion about it.

Jade_Tarem
2006-11-02, 01:28 AM
About half my group does... it adds a whole new layer of fun when half the party doesn't get the jokes, and has to go by ear.

Rahdjan
2006-11-02, 02:30 AM
152: The Forced Healer

This character either showed up late in the character building session or was the last one to come up with a character. He doesn't want to play the healer (probaly again) but the group already has everything else. He doesn't care that Clerics and Druids can do way more than heal, he'll grudgenly play, but he wont allow himself to have fun. He'll do the bare minimum in hopes that someone else will take over the character and he can play that Bard he's always dreamed of.

Narmoth
2006-11-02, 05:09 AM
#77 The Little Brother
Doesn't know what's happening, doesn't care about the rules, and is only here because one player's mom makes him take him.

"

I'm Dm-ing with my little sister in the group. The rest of the group is 20 (mage),26(ranger),19(priest) and she is only 16 (plays mage). Still she is the definetly smartest player in the group and, without my help, the most powerfull character in the group

The Glyphstone
2006-11-02, 05:24 AM
144: Felon Facing Parole: Although a particular class/feat/build/situation hurt or destroyed a session (or even a campaign) in a previous bout of DnD, will continually plead for a second, third, fourth (you get the idea) attempt at it. For example, a long time ago, no one in my group understood psionics. Some played it anyway, however, and we found out that psions were doing some incredible things (70,000 damage at level 6, anyone?) I know that this isn't possible, please don't come on with a response saying that psionics is the most beautiful thing to ever hit DnD, and that magic should be based off of it, and that psionics needs as many support books as magic. You see, after the initial stupidities (you mean we cant keep augmenting past our manifester level? dang...) I am repeatedly assured that we get it now, and that it isn't broken, and couldn't we try it one more time? Alas, 3d6 charisma damage a round! Immortality! Transfer to a completely unbalanced monster body! And they still want me to unblock psionics.


Just curious...what psionics rules are you using? 3d6 Cha damage a round? Immortality? Transferring into a monster body more broken than one you can get with Polymorph or Shapechange? I want THOSE powers for my psions...:smallwink: :smallconfused:

Ennan
2006-11-02, 06:15 AM
86 the WoW player

This is the player that started with world of Warcraft, Everquest, Baldure’s (sp?) Gate or some other computer or console rpg. He thinks that tabletop gaming is just an extension of those games and can’t seem to adapt to the new rules and environment. Usually this takes the form of simply confusing spells or some other easy to confuse aspect of the game.
as said above, theirs a lot of WoW flavour problems. they might confuse things, but they almost always:
* come in groups (for instance: my complete group atm)
* have no time for anything else. (like preparation. or conversation about something else).

it seems to me that not all of the listed numbers are good enough (or 'bad' enough) to get a seperate number, its more of a posters rant about a person he/she knows :). because of that i didn't make a number, but if you read this groningen: yes this means you :P

MrNexx
2006-11-02, 08:00 AM
152: The Forced Healer

This character either showed up late in the character building session or was the last one to come up with a character. He doesn't want to play the healer (probaly again) but the group already has everything else. He doesn't care that Clerics and Druids can do way more than heal, he'll grudgenly play, but he wont allow himself to have fun. He'll do the bare minimum in hopes that someone else will take over the character and he can play that Bard he's always dreamed of.

You know, I play a cleric in almost every game we have... but that's because I love 'em. Cloistered Cleric lets you be a full-caster knowledge monkey (I don't have Heroes of Horror, so don't suggest Archivist). In fact, I have trouble making something else... Cloistered Cleric with the Magic domain is such an effective character, while filling an oft-empty spot in the party, that you can go hog-wild.

Blue_Painted
2006-11-02, 11:51 AM
#153 - The rewind freak: The player who always wants to rewind after his/her character takes damage, loses money or suffers in any way.

Gamebird
2006-11-02, 02:33 PM
Players who won't let it go...

I named the villages on my map after names I pulled off a detail map of Ireland. One of the names was Dingle. I didn't think anything of it until the party went there and one of the players quipped "Dingle... a nice little burg, world renowned for their berries." Okay... well, way to ruin the mood. After the laughter died down, we moved on. Every time I'd say "Dingle" though there would be snickers. Eventually it annoyed me enough that I centered an entire branch of the campaign out of Dingle. I've noticed that the funniness has finally died down.

Mike_G
2006-11-02, 02:35 PM
152: The Forced Healer

This character either showed up late in the character building session or was the last one to come up with a character. He doesn't want to play the healer (probaly again) but the group already has everything else. He doesn't care that Clerics and Druids can do way more than heal, he'll grudgenly play, but he wont allow himself to have fun. He'll do the bare minimum in hopes that someone else will take over the character and he can play that Bard he's always dreamed of.

I don't agree with this kind of thing. I'd rather he played the Bard he wanted, and the party can rely on potions and wussy bardic healing than make somebody play what they don't want. I''ve DM a group of two Fighters, a Barbarian and a Monk. You just tweak the encounters a bit more towards hitting things and less toward magic and traps.

Rolaran
2006-11-02, 03:02 PM
154: The Catchphrase Lexicon

This guy knows every meme, joke and skit in the history of geekdom, and mentions them whenever possible. If you encounter a bunny, he will wonder aloud if "That's no ordinary rabbit!" If the party is killed because of him, his excuse will be "At least I have chicken." If his character finds himself surrounded by darkness, he will "attack the darkness... with MAGIC MISSILE!" God forbid that the DM mentions a gazebo...

Like many of the others, he's fun in small doses, but gets old fast when he overdoes it.

Ennan
2006-11-02, 03:58 PM
you MUST face the gazebo alone!

but seriously, why would a DM mention a gazebo.... :)

The_Werebear
2006-11-02, 04:06 PM
you MUST face the gazebo alone!

but seriously, why would a DM mention a gazebo.... :)

Because of This (http://www.fortunecity.com/rivendell/sentient/1040/dnd/gazebo.htm)

TheThan
2006-11-02, 04:48 PM
Because of This (http://www.fortunecity.com/rivendell/sentient/1040/dnd/gazebo.htm)

oh wow... thats just...wow

Jade_Tarem
2006-11-02, 05:42 PM
Just curious...what psionics rules are you using? 3d6 Cha damage a round? Immortality? Transferring into a monster body more broken than one you can get with Polymorph or Shapechange? I want THOSE powers for my psions...:smallwink: :smallconfused:

The real ones. We just don't understand them. I call this "BS-ing the Dm, but they maintain that after each ludicrously powerful mistake that we "get it now."

Archonic Energy
2006-11-02, 05:49 PM
86 the WoW player

This is the player that started with world of Warcraft, Everquest, Baldure’s (sp?) Gate or some other computer or console rpg. He thinks that tabletop gaming is just an extension of those games and can’t seem to adapt to the new rules and environment. Usually this takes the form of simply confusing spells or some other easy to confuse aspect of the game.

HEY... what's wrong with Baldur's Gate

vanyell
2006-11-02, 06:32 PM
I have never laughed that hard at a gazeebo...

# 155
The Telekinisis Junky
This type of player thinks that he can do anything with a ring of telekinisis.
Turn a Shield into a buzz saw? ring of Telekinisis. shove said shield into the chest of a dragon? spining insanely fast? Ring of Telekinisis. Insist that said buzz saw would do an almost infinate amount of damage, and complain that I'd have the dragon breathe on the shield? an Idiot I probably won't play with again.

PS will usually try it without even ranks in UMD:smallsigh:

Lidjis
2006-11-02, 06:47 PM
a couple more
the pissed off guy: this guy had a bad day at work and takes it out on all the other players. Sometimes understandable.
The Oneida Perfectionist: Doesn't understand that promiscuous sex has consequences.
the guy that doesn't understand his character might want to avoid life threatening situations : this is the guy that doesn't like the wizard who acid fogs the orc band because then he can't get at them and get hurt. One masochistic character I can understand, but even a fighter wants to avoid an orcish axe if they can be killed in a painless way.
anybody who has ever chosen to play a paladin ever

Brickwall
2006-11-02, 06:54 PM
I request that that last one be stricken from the list.

If you need to ask why, then you indeed require counseling from people who have DMed for people who know how to play paladins.

Krimm_Blackleaf
2006-11-02, 09:55 PM
I agree with the above post. I myself am told I'm a person that plays a very good paladin.

Shazzbaa
2006-11-02, 09:55 PM
HEY... what's wrong with Baldur's Gate
Nothing's wrong with any of those games... as long as you recognize that they're different from D&D. :smallwink:

Also, yeah... what's so terrible about merely wanting to play a paladin?

The_Last_Night
2006-11-02, 10:02 PM
The real ones. We just don't understand them. I call this "BS-ing the Dm, but they maintain that after each ludicrously powerful mistake that we "get it now."

Have you... uh... read over the rules? They're pretty simple. A lot simpler than arcane magic, that's for sure. If you know the rules, they shouldn't be able to BS you.

Lidjis
2006-11-02, 11:06 PM
I've just had bad experience after bad experience with Paladins. The code makes it too restrictive to roleplay past about a half dozen roles. I say just make a lawful good fighter cleric if you want to roleplay a holy warrior, at last then you can have some flexibility and not look exactly like all the other paladins out there.

The_Pope
2006-11-03, 01:01 AM
Actually, you're missing the fun of a paladin there. The code is strict yes, but you can bend it to your hearts desire. As long as you can keep your honor unstained, you've got a world of options open to you. I've been an utter bastard as a paladin. And not in the typical sense.

idksocrates
2006-11-03, 01:58 AM
power abusive pally? i can so imagine a "bad cop" paladin.

"hey, i don't like you looking at me like that."
"but, i..."
"hey! just for that, get on the floor! assume the position."
*detects evil
"looks like you've been coveting thou neighbors wife. back where i come from, that's a capital offense!"


*okay, that's a major stretch. maybe i'll try again wheni've had more sleep

Ninja Chocobo
2006-11-03, 02:07 AM
Let's back it up a bit here...


Caffine Nut

This player constantly brings a 3 liter soda bottle of mountain dew or an energy drink to the game because their addiction is just that bad. They tick off players when they are twiching and tapping or causing distractions because they are such on a Caffine high that anything else is just boring. Around the time when their turn for combat shows up they always need to hit the bathroom and miss their turn and show their displeasure to the rest of the party for the rest of the initive by continue to whistle and tap.

Mountain Dew doesn't have caffine in it. Well, at least not in Australia.

SalSar_Thiran
2006-11-03, 02:12 AM
In america, Moutain Dew has the most caffine in it of any soda on the market save bawls (not really a soda) and jolt (which is closer to an energy drink anyways).

Ninja Chocobo
2006-11-03, 02:20 AM
0_0
...Now I'm scared...

The Glyphstone
2006-11-03, 06:52 AM
The real ones. We just don't understand them. I call this "BS-ing the Dm, but they maintain that after each ludicrously powerful mistake that we "get it now."

Ah, I see. Well, BSing the DM/not understanding the rules is a perfectly good reason, assuming that you have made an effort to understand them and failed. Psionics in the hands of people who do know them well are much harder to cheeze-wizz.

--------------

#170: The Phantom. This player often misses meetings, without guidelines or instructions on how to run his character - then complains loudly and bitterly on what the DM did with them in his absence. Regardless of what actually happened, whether it be assaulting an ogre camp or talking diplomacy with the Emperor, whether his character actually DID anything or not, he will insist "that's not what my character would have done there", and often demand repeatedly that the entire previous adventure be retconned so he can "play it properly".

Nero24200
2006-11-03, 07:10 AM
No X+1 "I know I know!"
A player who insists he/she knows a certain fact about medievil times or the campaign setting, despite the "fact" in question being completly wrong.

Example. I once played with a person during an internet game, who challagned my paladin to a duel. So, fair enough, was going to fight him (and probably win), until he tried to claim that we should fight without armour and with a rapier and dagger. This to me screamed "Metagaming", since his character was a multiclass Rogue/Ranger/Monk, meaning he would be good with two weapons and without armour. He claimed that this was how duels ere fought, which is wrong. They were fought on horseback with lances, and failing that (which it did in this case since we were in an area where getting horses were just about impossible) they weer fought on foot, in full-plate, with Greatswords.

Gyrfalcon
2006-11-03, 07:24 AM
He was thinking of Renaissance-era dueling and not medieval duels... with the sole point of gaining a distinct advantage over your heavy armor wearer.

Narmoth
2006-11-03, 09:57 AM
He was thinking of Renaissance-era dueling and not medieval duels... with the sole point of gaining a distinct advantage over your heavy armor wearer.

First of all, if the game is dm-run, the dm could deside that they should duell naked, each standing on a seaturtle throwing mushrums on each other until one of them fell from his turtle or ran out of mushrums.

When it comes to historic duelling, there many variants, but in the end, the exact terms would be worked out between the duellants themselves.

In northern europe from ca 700ad to round 1200ad the duels was fought on foot, where everybody brought their best equipment (in the legends and sagas often magival swords and belts that made them immortal). Very often, the whole clans of the duellants participated. This type was often termed "holmgang" from the norse "holme" meaning rock or small iceland in the sea, where the duelist went to separate the duelist from onlookers and hinder anyone to interfere or getting any backup.

Around the time of the crusades duels that started on horseback (yes with lances) and continued on foot became popular. When one, or usually both, of the duelists was thrown from the horse, the combat continued on foot.
Around this time there also start to eksist rules for duels which should not end with death. For example was duels on Iceland offisicially fought that ended when first blood was drawn.

With the invention of effective gunpowerweapons, many stopped wearing heavy armor, and rapieres became the prefered duelling weapon. Still it eksisted duelling armor, fullplates that was uced by the royality and the high aristocrasy for their duels, which was fought with heavy swords.
Those who duelled with rapieres would still, if they could afford it, wear a chainrobe or a plate that protected the torso under their clothes.

This means that unrelated to the time period to which the game is sett, no one can demand you fighting without armor (this practice started in the 17th century, when they fought with only one weapon or with guns).
Wich weapons and the number of them should be agreed upon between the duellants before the fight.

Nero24200
2006-11-03, 10:07 AM
[quote]/First of all, if the game is dm-run, the dm could deside that they should duell naked, each standing on a seaturtle throwing mushrums on each other until one of them fell from his turtle or ran out of mushrums./[quote]

It was the players interreptaion of the duel. Personally, I think the player was simply trying to kill my character because he hated paladins. After all, his IC reason for wanting to duel my character was because I picked up an evil aura from him.
Naturally, that character died with ALOT of enemies celebreating his death while my paladin still lives.

One thing that continualy annoys me is players going on about paladins being self-rightous and anal as hell, news flash, ever played NWN online? Whenever a paladin senses evil from an evil character, the evil player becomes the most self-rightous person in the game (and I would know, since I played a paladin who was subject to rants despite not even knowing some of these characters) I think there are players out there who just plain don't like paladins, and quite frankly I think they're inmatture and can't handle the conceapt of a character with a strict morale code.

Rant over

MrNexx
2006-11-03, 10:23 AM
Example. I once played with a person during an internet game, who challagned my paladin to a duel. So, fair enough, was going to fight him (and probably win), until he tried to claim that we should fight without armour and with a rapier and dagger. This to me screamed "Metagaming", since his character was a multiclass Rogue/Ranger/Monk, meaning he would be good with two weapons and without armour. He claimed that this was how duels ere fought, which is wrong. They were fought on horseback with lances, and failing that (which it did in this case since we were in an area where getting horses were just about impossible) they weer fought on foot, in full-plate, with Greatswords.

Or on an "island" (either real, or delinated), with shield-bearers interposing themselves between the fighters and each dueler taking turns hitting the other.

LynGrey
2006-11-03, 02:48 PM
Sad thing is between two of my fellow gammers we got this whole list covered and then some... they over lap in qualities.

The Railroad meta-player I admit i can be a bit guilty of this for the sake of the game, but not to the level of extremety these people do it. They are the type that create a back story "i'm an elf, hobgoblins are my enemy" one of the players plays a Hobgoblin and that player goes "I see him in the tavern and buy him drinks" That guy that just walks up to PC at the start and agianst his character nature does thing to railroad the party.

I play everybody Oh i hate these, i hate them alot!!! They are the cats that go "you're character does this" ARG!!!! That gets me really upset, i just want to hand them the character sheet and go home.

Blue_Painted
2006-11-03, 03:13 PM
I play everybody Oh i hate these, i hate them alot!!! They are the cats that go "you're character does this" ARG!!!! That gets me really upset, i just want to hand them the character sheet and go home.

OOoohh! I have played with (against?) the very worst, who not only wanted to play everybody's characters but all the NPC's as well ... even wanting to invent NPC's because "... this guy would say this and then my guy (or yours) would ..."

... I second that ARG!!!!!!

Dkalban
2006-11-03, 09:12 PM
I have lost count so lets call this XXX

XXX: The little kid

This kid is young (ok about 8-10) and he wants to play. HE rolls a character, and starts playing very nicely...until he spies in the books an item or monster he wants as a pet, and will force the DM/group to drop everything tp get him his desire. That...or a big complainer/whiner/cryer according to the situation

In camp I had one fellow player who was this. he wanted a pet pegasus. He got moved to the younger kid group, where they were caught by his wishes until the end of the session. They did not progress at al.

A variation is the kid who plays well, but then does perverted/lewd/stupid things for a cheap laugh or to look cool to the new kids

Im done for now

Larrin
2006-11-04, 01:32 AM
I have lost count so lets call this XXX

XXX: The little kid

This kid is young (ok about 8-10) and he wants to play. HE rolls a character, and starts playing very nicely...until he spies in the books an item or monster he wants as a pet, and will force the DM/group to drop everything tp get him his desire. That...or a big complainer/whiner/cryer according to the situation


ahhh, that takes me back to the first time i ever DM-ed and listened to a near teen (he's maybe 6 years younger then me) in his still high voice ask at every chest "is there a girdle of frost giant strength in it" every ten secounds. I gave him a girdle, it wmelled of cats and he was too scared to put it on....

he had the highest voice of any younger boy i knew. i still mock him about it 4 years later...

MrNexx
2006-11-04, 09:53 AM
ahhh, that takes me back to the first time i ever DM-ed and listened to a near teen (he's maybe 6 years younger then me) in his still high voice ask at every chest "is there a girdle of frost giant strength in it" every ten secounds. I gave him a girdle, it wmelled of cats and he was too scared to put it on....

Just out of curiousity, why did the girdle smell of cats?

Vaniel
2006-11-04, 10:10 AM
The Idiot with his Rules

Even during an intense descriptive moment, he will somehow ask a question concerning his character mechanics wise, and/or will whine because his character can do this, and obviously doesen't listen to the DMs description.

Fatty Maroon
2006-11-04, 10:17 PM
#xxx: The pampered one
This player has been playing in an extremely overpowered game and as soon as he even begins to roll stats complains about how weak his character is. even when he gets a couple +3 stats and nothing below ten this character thinks his guy is weak, this is a more advanced version of #107.

Dkalban
2006-11-04, 10:57 PM
ahhh, that takes me back to the first time i ever DM-ed and listened to a near teen (he's maybe 6 years younger then me) in his still high voice ask at every chest "is there a girdle of frost giant strength in it" every ten secounds. I gave him a girdle, it wmelled of cats and he was too scared to put it on....

he had the highest voice of any younger boy i knew. i still mock him about it 4 years later...

Alas, I too have a high pitched voice. GOD DARN PUBERTY DELAY! lol

MrNexx
2006-11-04, 11:03 PM
Alas, I too have a high pitched voice. GOD DARN PUBERTY DELAY! lol

And yet another reason I'm so very glad I am not a teenager.

Casualgamer
2006-11-04, 11:16 PM
Alas, I too have a high pitched voice. GOD DARN PUBERTY DELAY! lol

Awwwwwwkkkkwaaaaaard.

Dkalban
2006-11-05, 11:47 AM
Awwwwwwkkkkwaaaaaard.

You have no idea :P

Signmaker
2006-11-05, 04:12 PM
X+1

The Language Abuser

The person that speaks in incomprehensible languages just to annoy the other party members.

Stupid Catfolk feline. Everytime we tried to get started on a campaign (numerous failed attempts), he'd be drunk and meowing. At first it was funny, but then we'd have to slap him.

Jarlax
2006-11-05, 05:34 PM
#166 (that should be right) the chimney

is outside every 5 minutes for a smoke while the game grinds to a halt because there not there to act on their turn, listen to the important plotline, etc.

# 167 the last second

A player who arrives just before the game is about to start, if not several minutes late to declare they are without a char sheet. And expects the DM or one of the players to roll one for them

# 168 the last second specific

Same as the last second, but the latecomer will never accept a simple class. The pc that they expect to be rolled is a wizard/cleric/mystic-theruge one that requires many spells to be selected, several class features to be chosen and probably a complex set of gear to be bought the time to roll a fighter may be 30 min, no matter what level. But this PC could take the entire session to roll.

# 169 the deaf

Never listens, be it the DM players or whatever you hear from this guy twenty times a session “why did that happen?” “why are we doing this?” “what was that guys name again?” “what did my new sword do again?”

Rex Idiotarum
2006-11-05, 05:47 PM
#170, Nat. 20 is God DM,
If you get a natural 20, the world will reshape to your beckon. Heh, last night I was playing with cursed Die, I'm lucky to get a 13. However, when in an arguement against an NPC that I knew would lose, I picked up the Die. "Ha, you're not going to win this arguement against him." to which I responded in a very metagamy way, "I'm not argueing against him, I'm argueing against the DM." I rolled the Die. Natural 20. "Okay, a time flux occurs and now you are correct about what you were argueing about, how ever now there is no quick escape."I go through a battle, takes some time, almost get's killed twice through crappy rolls. and then I try to flee. "Ha, but now there is no way out!" "Really?"... Another Nat. 20 and a Door appears.

Umael
2006-11-05, 08:27 PM
Some of these are painful. But not as painful (at least as I see it - you might disagree, I understand) as this:

#171 - Male Chauvinist A******
Believes that females don't belong in D&D/WoD/any RPG at all. Harasses the players for it. Has their male character rape the female player's female character. Repeatedly. Brutally. And in great detail.

#172 - Male Chauvinist Enabler
The GM who lets #171 get away with it. And the other players who applaud #171 for his actions.

Note - you can modify #171 & #172 to include females who violently oppose males in their gaming group, people harassing others because of their sexual orientation, religious persuasion, culture, color of their skin... you get the idea.

RandomNPC
2006-11-05, 10:43 PM
#173
escaped youngling
the little brother in law, or some such, who wants to play, even has a decent idea of what hes going to do and does show intrest in a game. right up till the end of character creation, if its not his turn to do something hes laying across the floor spitting out the occasional sigh, asking to play the playstation (ive got this weird urge to not let games i don't like in my playstation) or play with the cats and a laser pen, or do something. then it slowly dawns on you. he's making a character hes fine, his turn came up, he's fine, an npc picks him out to talk, he gets to do stuf, he's fine. oh hey look the dwarf larned a new trick all the sudden
Lil-Bro In Law: "can i play GTA?"
self: no, your turns coming up.
LBIL: but it was just my turn ive got some time
self: by the time the games loaded it'll be your turn
LBIL: but after my turn i can play
self: play at home
LBIL: but its boring there
self ????????????????????????

basically he wants out of the house, even if he does the same thing he would do if he was at home.

Tough_Tonka
2006-11-05, 10:55 PM
#174
Situation modifier addict

This character can't roll a die without asking for a situation modifier or demanding an atternative roll. And thats at the very least...

For example our wizard became the target a Slay Living spell, with pride declared he made a 24 on his fort. save. So I tolded him he took 19 points of damage (he had 12 hp left at the time) now he was at -7. When he turn came I rolled to see if he stabalized, he didn't so he took another point of damage.

When I told him this he demanded to see the spell discription, after reading he declared that he should have to make a roll because the damage the spell delivers isn't specified. I tried to explains thats what happens at negative hp, but that wasn't fair and since its just a death affect he shouldn't take additional damage. Never mind I let him avoid the damage the summoned locust swarm surrounding the party took. After a few minutes of arguing he relunctantly put -8 in his hp box.

Maybe I'm just too soft on my party. :)

Hario
2006-11-05, 10:57 PM
Some of these are painful. But not as painful (at least as I see it - you might disagree, I understand) as this:

#171 - Male Chauvinist A******
Believes that females don't belong in D&D/WoD/any RPG at all. Harasses the players for it. Has their male character rape the female player's female character. Repeatedly. Brutally. And in great detail.

#172 - Male Chauvinist Enabler
The GM who lets #171 get away with it. And the other players who applaud #171 for his actions.

Note - you can modify #171 & #172 to include females who violently oppose males in their gaming group, people harassing others because of their sexual orientation, religious persuasion, culture, color of their skin... you get the idea.

Have some problem with men lately? :sigh: females are just as able as guys are in rpgs and most other things, I don't know people who act like that, though the majority of people who rp are males, unless its larping then a good chunk of them are females depending on the larp.

Athanatos
2006-11-05, 10:58 PM
175) You Don't Understand My Genius! A veeeery problematic individual that combines many of these archetypes. An incompetent 'mastermind' that continually comes up with brilliant plans, watches them crash and burn because they're so terrible, and then throws a tantrum until the DM revises the situation to be more favorable to him. Obviously his plan failed because the DM didn't understand it or the DM was cheating or the DM was too lucky or the other party members were jealous. NEVER his own fault. Example:

I was DMing a Steampunk campaign, and the player in question was the leader of a small band of Shamanic freedom fighters/terrorists. He and his little army were about to launch an attack on an ancient Shamanic city that was in the hands of a powerful industrialist seeking to learn how to manipulate Shamanic energy and make technological advances out of it. The first stages of his plan consisted of marching through a forest to territory behind enemy lines, thus striking from a position that wouldn't be too vulnerable. Additionally, he raised a thick magical fog around the surrounding terrain, preventing any sentries from noticing his approach. He waited a while for the fog to fully set in, then headed inward.

That's the first big flaw in his plan right there. If a huge fog prevents you from seeing things, especially if it comes out of nowhere, you're probably going to send some people to investigate its source- or at least to get a better vantage point on whatever you were looking at before it was blocked by the fog. Now, after this, he rushed in and killed the few sentries on the walls and blasted down the outer door. He then came upon a walled, hexagonal courtyard that was completely empty. 5 indents, shaped like vertical lines, were present on each wall that didn't contain a door.

The PC decided that this would be a good time to stop and buff.

Naturally, these indents were gun slits, which opened up and started raining hellfire on the sitting ducks that were the PC's forces. He ordered them to hit the ground and continue buffing, to which his foes responded by lobbing grenades over the wall and inflicting severe casualties. After all the smoke cleared, the PC's army had suffered a humiliating defeat, all because the NPC army actually thought tactically. Cue the whining.

It started with "you just metagamed and had them do whatever was worst for me", then quickly devolved into "let me redo the encounter". It continued like this until I was forced to just cut him out of the campaign. Thank God I made that decision...

Jade_Tarem
2006-11-06, 12:16 AM
Ok, i went back and counted, and though it was a valiant attempt to restart, we are, in fact, on #186

186: Save Game Here

This player will, at some point in the campaign/situation, do something that at first seemed either ok or dubious, and then when unforseen consequences turn that into a very bad move, will whine constantly that that wasn't really what he wanted to do/was joking/can't we back this up? The only saving grace to this type is that they rarely do it in combat (where it would be blatantly obvious.)

For some reason this seems to be the type most likely to argue with the DM over the fine points of the rules and how the npc's should be played. Coincidence? Maybe...

Tallis
2006-11-06, 01:08 AM
Some of these are painful. But not as painful (at least as I see it - you might disagree, I understand) as this:

#171 - Male Chauvinist A******
Believes that females don't belong in D&D/WoD/any RPG at all. Harasses the players for it. Has their male character rape the female player's female character. Repeatedly. Brutally. And in great detail.


You've played with someone who did that? Sounds like this person has some pretty severe psychological problems. You might want to suggest a psychiatrist and in any case kick him out ofthe game for abusing his fellow players.

Jades
2006-11-06, 02:29 AM
177) The Whitewolf Player - as a character
***NOT A SLAM AGAINST WHITE WOLF PLAYERS***
"My character suffered this horrible life, and witnessed many horrible deeds. His soul weeps for the world, and he doesn't like to talk about it. He knows that he's going to be betrayed, or if not then whoever he gets close to is going to die so he keeps himself emotionally distant from the group." And then they complain when the group leaves him behind. Or doesn't interact with them.

178) PC Blinders
"Well, I know we made this deal with this guy, but he's just an NPC and we really can't be expected to give him the magical item that we promised him, right? Especially since its plot-related. It would be much better suited in the hands of a PC."

179) Metagame Exclusionaries
"He talks to the DM on a fairly frequent basis and they do talk about the world that we're in so all of his information is tainted with Metagame knowledge, so we can't listen to a thing that he says."

180) I'm Right and You're Wrong
Usually, this person manages to get their character as the party leader and ignores the suggestions of other party members. Like the rogue, who is warning them not to trust that guy because he bears the markings of a priest who worships the God of Murder, Betrayal, and Destruction.

Jades
2006-11-06, 02:34 AM
175) You Don't Understand My Genius! A veeeery problematic individual that combines many of these archetypes. An incompetent 'mastermind' that continually comes up with brilliant plans, watches them crash and burn because they're so terrible, and then throws a tantrum until the DM revises the situation to be more favorable to him. Obviously his plan failed because the DM didn't understand it or the DM was cheating or the DM was too lucky or the other party members were jealous. NEVER his own fault.

Sometimes, it ain't. My GM told me of a Spycraft campaign that he ran where several Shop agents had helped the PCs escape an area in hopes of them sharing the contents of the harddrive that they just stole from an Architect base. The PC leader said "I put the drive out the window", meaning he was going to hold it out the window, when the Shop agents threatened to kill the PCs if they don't share the drive.

Thinking that he meant that he threw the drive out the window, the GM had the Shop Agents kill the PCs.

Argent
2006-11-06, 01:23 PM
My particular nemesis is Mister Insecure.

This is the guy who's just... well, heck, he's just generally annoying. He has to be the center of attention, and therefore doesn't work well in groups and is a terrible team member. His characters scream out "look at me, look at me!" and he can't understand why the rest of the characters (and players) wish he'd fall down an open mineshaft somewhere.

idksocrates
2006-11-06, 05:48 PM
Some of these are painful. But not as painful (at least as I see it - you might disagree, I understand) as this:

#171 - Male Chauvinist A******
Believes that females don't belong in D&D/WoD/any RPG at all. Harasses the players for it. Has their male character rape the female player's female character. Repeatedly. Brutally. And in great detail.

#172 - Male Chauvinist Enabler
The GM who lets #171 get away with it. And the other players who applaud #171 for his actions.

Note - you can modify #171 & #172 to include females who violently oppose males in their gaming group, people harassing others because of their sexual orientation, religious persuasion, culture, color of their skin... you get the idea.

damn... that' just... damn. I mean, its already the lowest of the low for one player in a group to go out of his way to make things miserable for another player, and even then in such a controversial and graphic way, but i mean, the rest of the table supported him?

i mean, really? who details the exact nature of the rape of a fantasy character in front of their gaming group. sounds like something one would do on FATAL, not dnd.

Jade_Tarem
2006-11-06, 07:01 PM
sounds like one of those shining examples held up to the media as to why DnD is slowly converting the world's youth to satan worship and wild revels :P Seems to me that this is one of Wizard's "top ten" worst players... i know i read that somewhere :/

btw, the next one should be 191

Nero24200
2006-11-07, 09:59 AM
#171 - Male Chauvinist A******
Believes that females don't belong in D&D/WoD/any RPG at all. Harasses the players for it. Has their male character rape the female player's female character. Repeatedly. Brutally. And in great detail.

It specificlly says in one of the D'n'D handbooks (though I won't say which one, I don't want to admit ever looking at this one ;P) that Rping rape is stupid, immature, immersion breaking and should not be encouraged. In short, this person doesn't seem to care that rape is a serious thing, and that he uses it so happily to discourage other players from playing is not only wrong, its one of the most imoral things I have ever heard of. Where I in charge of local law enforcemnt, he would be arrested. He might like that though, if he enjoys the company of males so much, he can spend every day in jail with them, including the showers.

Jades
2006-11-07, 01:19 PM
Book of Vile Darkness I believe... or Erotic Fantasy. Only two likely canidates, but I'd place it in the BoVD.

Rex Idiotarum
2006-11-07, 04:45 PM
191 The DM's PC
The DM who uses his PC for everything, rules, characto management, creatures and such, however his computer is so low quality that it takes him twenty minutes to find any one thing in his repitoir. This is a shot at myself.

Soniku
2006-11-07, 08:29 PM
Now to do one for each of my players and me... each more painfully true than the last

Disclaimer: If my party read this, pretend yours isn't there... and you will probly agree with the rest :p

The idiot: It doesn't matter what happens, he falls for every trick, avoids every plothook and gets himself thrown in jail at least once a session because of his serious lack of mental capasity. Common party tricks will be knocking on a locked inn room door with a hammer because he rented it the night before and things it is still his, and becomeing obsessed with a random non-magical object that was placed in the game as something to throw the players off. The object must be broken twenty sessions later to stop the constant identification checks. "I put on the magnification eyepatch to see better whats flying at us out of the sun..."

The squirrel: His first choice of character will be a small, treeborne mammal. Subsiquent choices will be a squirrel like creature, an albino squirrel, a jedi squirrel, an anthropomorphic squirrel and if all else fails a druid. Who wildshapes into a squirrel.

The loud-annoying: The amp that went up to 11 was obviously installed in this ones brain. His indoor voice can peirce concrete walls and a whisper to a teammate can be heard across the room. He will complain about absolutely everything he can and hold grudges for over three campaigns before useing that three gold you never payed back for a reason to push you in that pit of acid. Most likely to leave after being tossed into the underdark by an annoyed party. "I don't care if it's mustard gas, I saw in a movie this guy could speak when he was hit by it, why am I all writieng on the floor?!?!"

The orc: This player will somehow find a way to play something weird every single time. He's a decent roleplayer, he's kinda funny and actually tries to continue with the storyline. He always plays a big stupid creature with an int of 14. Even the barbarians.

The cloaked one: Somehow this guy will manage to come up with a good character concept and then rip it to shreads while not actually breaking his word. Special skills include evil characters and scythes. Don't let him play a twelve year old, no matter how good his backstory and character concept sound.

The quiet-annoying: Normally the smart, quiet mage in the corner figureing out all the puzzles, when it comes to time-limited combat it's a different matter. Put any pressure on him at all and he will take a minute to come up with the action of not doing anything. How hard is it to say "I cast fireball"?

The sneaky: No matter what this guy plays he has something to hide. His clerics of Tyr are actually evil, he will place explosive runes -everywhere- until noone dares read anything he ever writes or draws. Yes, even the name on the ship was an explosive rune. Good in combat, but he has a knack for turning all the NPCs against you. Especially those you really, really don't want to annoy. "Here, the lord asked me to give you this letter..."

The guy who doesn't fit in: There is always one of these. Running a hack and slash campaign? He will be the guy speaking old english and describing his spellcasting in great detail. Playing a warhammer campaign? This guy will be completely upbeat all the time. Can be a good thing... but usually isn't. "Greetings, good sir. May I inquire as to why you wish for my assistance on this fare noon?" "Uh... well, we're going to get some xp and loot from that dungeon..."

Manic depressive DM: Not much to say really... well thought out campaigns which usually take a steep downwards curve as soon as he gets dumped, insulted or otherwise inconvenienced in life. "Hey, can I have a +5 vorpal bastard sword?" "Fine! you've taken everything else I have!!"

Plot twist DM: How many plot twists are there in a good RPG? A few major ones. This guy never got the message. Looks like those evil enemies of the empire are innocent bystanders, and the gracious empire of man is completely evil. While we're at it one characters getting dreams about cthulhu after falling sick for a weak, the damsel in destress is a commanding officer of an army, that cute NPC was the main villain, and oh, the whole world is actually a giant pentagram. He still hasn't got half way throught the introduction to the main storyline.


Phew... thats all folks

Jades
2006-11-07, 08:45 PM
The "I'm playing what I want, come hell or high water" player.
His concepts are good, but they don't fit the party. Hell, or the story. Or the world for that matter. "I want to play this chaotic evil montebank!" Dude, the party is good. "You can't stiffle my creativity!" and then he complains when the Paladin kills him for burning down a town... full of orphans.

"Its My Party, I'll do what I want to"
Somehow, he's managed to get himself in charge of the party and is willing to kill other characters to stay there. Coercion is a primary tactic. Usually a cleric, marshall, or bard. "If you don't do what I say, you won't get the benefits of having me around."

"But I wanted to play in Eberron!"
No matter what you do, he wants to play in a different world. Sure the campaign started several weeks before he joined, but the other groups in the game store are playing in Eberron, why arn't I? Sure I've created classes and PrCs and feats that fit my world, and essentially have books of information about it - Eberron is better.

"I'm going to try to seduce the undead water elemental that looks like a woman - I think she might be a lesbian"
If it moves, she'll try to have relations with it. Hell, if it doesn't move, she'll try to have relations with it.

"I'm half-dragon. Where's my treasure horde?"
Tries to milk everything out of his race, expecting me to make up every detail needed to play. No, I will not try to fit a half-silver dragon into my world that the metallic dragons fled from. If you want to play one, tell ME how you got there! And no, I'm not giving you a horde, because of your race. AND NO! It cannot be covered in your background! You have this much gold to start with!

Jerthanis
2006-11-07, 11:38 PM
Uhh... I think we're on...

206: The bookworm
Spends the whole time reading books about what feat or ability he'll be getting soon, is so engrossed with his planned magic EQ or character growth that when the rest of the party is lead into combat and initiatives are called for, he'll ask, "Wait, We're in combat? who are we fighting? What happened?"

207: The chatterbox
Whether chatting with the whole group or just whispering at the far end of the table with 206, the chatterbox also doesn't seem to be paying much attention to the game either, perhaps just roleplaying by injecting an in-character joke every now and then and generally not becoming involved.

208: The no-show
No seriously, he's a part of the group... nevermind that he's never ever ever kept track of his character sheet in the history of mankind, and also has made it to 3 out of the last 10 sessions.

209: The silent treatment
For some reason (perhaps nerves, stagefright, or just not knowing your character well) this player spends 80% or more of the session dead quiet, generally speaking only to respond to another player or NPC's direct questions, or to state what he does in combat.

210: The Megalomaniac
Does lots of evil, evil things... and not always at the benefit of the entire party. He seeks to dominate and take over the world, even if the campaign is about something else, and because he doesn't listen to the other players, or perhaps promises to do what the other players want "After we score it big because of my next wacky scheme" Some characters would probably object to him, but the fact that most of them aren't paying attention, or are being ignored goes counter to that.

EDIT: Forgot to add

211: The fish who takes the bucket with him
This player refuses to be out of his element, or make a character who isn't uniquely suited to overcoming the stated goals of the campaign. In a Snakes on a Plane themed game, he'd be the snake biologist who travels with a variety of snake antivenoms and is also a trained kung-fu artist, wrapping the system up until he's absolutely sure his AC is so high, he can't be hit by the snakes... period. Would almost singlehandedly solve the entire snake debacle, but would make a huge deal over how important the guy who put some ranks in piloting is to distract from how he solved every other problem in the whole game.

Iudex Fatarum
2006-11-08, 01:06 AM
Personally I have two PC's currently, one of which was mentioned already

The One Face
This guy I found out seriously has played this same character concept in three campaigns after telling me this was the first time. (this is the one mentioned already but i feel i need to restate for emphasis)

The Revenge Seeker
After this guy gets killed off by the party assassin because the guy didn't leave town when told and also because he had committed crimes in the open. (you think threatening a nobel man by killing his guards isn't going to be investigated) As a result he tries to come back as someone working against the party. This gets annoying especially after i told him no and so he changes subtlety (ok no barbarian out for revenge, then bard who is working to create party conflict and take it out from the inside)

The Confused Revenge Seeker (aka OOC knowledge revenge seeker)
The cleric who wants to take revenge for the assassin killing a DIFFERENT PC off. even though said cleric is NG, only saw the barbarian (who got killed) attacking the assassin. oh and the assassin didn't finish the guy off that was the CN sorceress who cast lightning bolt for almost max damage. also this character blames the assassin for killing a Lillend who attacked the party (yes he blames the assassin who was invisible the whole time for provoking the lillend). this gets especially annoying when said encounter was provoked by the cleric.

Solution to this last one is immediate CN or CE alignment shift if he kills assassin but still annoying. and the revenge seeker is manageable but it gets bad when he starts exaggerating things and posting in public boards.

LynGrey
2006-11-08, 01:38 AM
215:Giver-uper
Oh this is a funny one... This is the gamer that when the DM scratches his character for a point of damage he says "let me get another character sheet" I get around alot of these, and i admit We have a GM that is pretty vicious, but never really takes you to -10 =) but never fails we get this guy and he takes any amount of damage and goes "let me get another character sheet"

216: The "I want my alignment changed" ,"i need an alignment shift" or "You need an alignment shift DM"
I never understood this, well i did withi one of my best characters he was a young whipper napper that got more displined the more and more he hung out with a few guys that he had alot of hardships with (the adventuring party) But in my mind i had that shift planned out, and on his character sheed i wrote Lawful good on his sheet (he was a fighter) and i moved him from a Chaotic loose end to a somewhat displined young lad to a very displine and moral to his word character. What i don't get is those people who pick and alignment and want a shift, or the GMs that go "you need an alignment shift" Alignment isn't suppose to be a mechanic.. its a RolePlaying aid.. you pick the alignment and you RP it. Now this doesn't mean the LG fighter can't do something spontaneous sometimes or something not so good or vice versa for those CE people. So when i here "alignment shift" i automatically thing "bad roleplaying/GM" To most, alignment is just something they write on a character sheet so they aren't affected by x spells or can play a certain class.

Kaerou
2006-11-08, 02:39 AM
217
The joker. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v168/Kaerou/jokerpopcorn.gif

Brings the game to a grinding halt every five minutes by joking about something that just happened, in relation to another event that happened IRL or in the game. If he's not getting people giggling every five minutes he's not happy. though gaming sessions with him are fun times, you might as well forget about going more than three rooms in a dungeon or getting through a single combat in an entire session, no matter how long you're playing.

218
The chatterbox.

Treats the gaming session as nothing more than an unwind after work or a social gathering, and doesnt really play. He just chats.. and chats.. and chats. Even when told to bucke down the the game he's back to the gab ten minutes later relating something that happened at work or what he's saw on TV.

Jade_Tarem
2006-11-08, 02:52 AM
Re: (216): To put it bluntly, the players who want an alignment change are wrong and the DM isn't asking for one, he's telling them that thier alignment changes. The players have control of thier alignment exactly once - at character creation. After that it's up to the DM (this is a core rule). It doesn't matter if you're a paladin, if you start killing babies the DM decides when you've changed alignments and broken your vows, not you. While players are perfectly within thier rights to remind the DM that a particular action may result in an alignment change, there's no argument after the fact. Players who whine about alignment changes just so that they can take a PrC they just read about are little more than totally bogus power gamers. Note that if you do wish an alignment change you need to start acting differently some time in advance of the change - then ask the DM if that's appropriate behavior for a shift yet - and it helps if you have a reason for the shift. Perhaps some incredible action on the part of another PC so impressed your character that you're at least curious as to their motives?

"My evil wizard has always had a soft spot for a fair fight (LE) and is curious to examine the benefits and reasoning behind other aspects of the paladin class, to see what would cause a paladin to release sworn enemies from custody or execution, even though we beat them fairly and know they'll be back to fight us again." - is an appropriate lead in to a time where the wizard spends significant quantities of time around the paladin, perhaps becoming LN or even, in time, LG. Each change would be denoted by the DM. Even something as simple as: "After spending so much time around the party bard, my character begins to loosen up a little." combined with the appropriate actions could cause a change in a character from lawful to neutral to chaotic good. However:

DM: "What? I thought you were chaotic good."
Player: "Yeah, but to get Kensai I needed to be lawful." - is wrong.

Alignment tends to represent how a character was shaped before the campaign started. Just remember: after character creation, alignment changes are the DM's idea, and they follow changes in behavior, not the whimsey of the players.

Rex Idiotarum
2006-11-08, 06:09 AM
"After my character is denied by the Kensai academy for being to random, he dedicates himself to disciplined and upholding law" epiphanies do happen, after that the DM should run a session and put him on the fast track to law.

MrNexx
2006-11-08, 10:52 AM
XXX+1: The Kid -
The person who is far too young for the rest of the table. They're like eager puppies, tripping over everything, really enthusiastic about the system, but not quite up to everyone else's speed on tactics.

XXX+2: The Me Player
The person who is "only playing their character" when they whine about someone else taking an action which makes what they wanted to do difficult.

XXX+3: PARTIES THAT DON'T ****ING PLAN ANYTHING!!!!!!
No, the boards did not mask that out. I did. But I meant what was behind the masking. Gods, I can't wait for the meteor swarms.

Tormsskull
2006-11-08, 11:32 AM
DM: "What? I thought you were chaotic good."
Player: "Yeah, but to get Kensai I needed to be lawful." - is wrong.

Alignment tends to represent how a character was shaped before the campaign started. Just remember: after character creation, alignment changes are the DM's idea, and they follow changes in behavior, not the whimsey of the players.

Oh man, I totally agree with you. I think the focus of a player needs to be to RP in the campaign world. If a player plans everything out, and then pushes his character through certain emotions & experiences to try to get an alignment shift, then you know they are going to be a bad RPer.

If your plans for your character's alignment shifts extend past Gameday 1, something is wrong. Your characters history & description are your choice up until gametime starts. After that, any changes to a character's history, their plot/storyline, or description should occur in game, in response to in game events. None of this "Oh by the way DM, when my character went home he stumbled upon his girlfriend cheating on him and so now he is so angry he became evil."

As players often like to point out, they don't like when a DM railroads them into things. I agree. If a player pre-plans their alignment shifts they are, in essence, railroading the DM & the other players.

Saurina
2006-11-08, 02:03 PM
First, a couple replies in the thread:


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#79 The player that has to be an incredibably rare or strange character and never plays a normal person ((Long...))

This player always chooses a Half-celestial monk who dyes her wings black to stay stealthy or perhaps a druid with a strange animal companion who has a bizarre background and is not involved with the druid community or such. I played with my friend who refused to just play a core race and ALWAYS had to be amazingly diffrent, not to powergame, just for RP values.


OMG... I gamed with a #79/#131 for YEARS (had to, she was the DM's wife). Great person, but the characters she played weren't ...normal, and combined with the scientist/physicist or #51, it was a pain in the hiney as a DM.
87 the non-player

This is the character that disappears from the gaming table and can be found playing a console game in the next room, or surfing the net if there’s a computer in the area. When asked to join he will play from the console or pc, yelling across the house. Naturally he doesn’t really know what’s going on at the gaming table.

We had one of these, too. It wasn't console gaming, but she would make us dinner (not a bad thing) but then spend the entire gaming session cooking and cleaning, getting upset when she couldn't hear us over her game (though her roommate got grumpy if we spoke loudly...). Solved by bringing our own food every session.
#66 The All Seeing
Uses OOC knowledge judiciasly to protect his charecter's share of the loot. Never mind that his Barbarian was knocked out and has spot and listne checks that in total equal 5. No he knows that the Rogue took the cool knife and coin purse off the big boss.

I always loved dealing with these people as a DM... they usually were victims of horrible accidents.. *ebil grin*
#220 - The "I'm not going to do that" Roleplayer
This player blatantly refuses to roleplay their character as a member of that race/class for no good reason (no backstory, no character history, nothing) -usually because they find that aspect of the race/class distasteful. Imagine a dwarf female fighter named "Jewel" ...who refuses to have a beard and is not gonzo about gems/loot and must be convinced to put down her crossbow in favor of hand to hand combat.

#221 - The Augury Fiend
This player must consult their augury spell (or similar Magic 8-Ball spell) before every decision, much to the consternation of the GM, who must find a way to reveal enough without revealing too much or in a way that scares off the PCs from the campaign.

#221b - The Prayer Fiend
Similar to #221, this player prays to their god/goddess for divine intervention every moment they can, knowing that at least 2% of the time, their god/goddess might answer. (My old DM found a way to combat this by having a demon "answer" the prayers and lure this holy cleric to a path of destruction. Muahaha!)

#222 - The Interactive GM
A GM/DM who can't seem to keep her grubby comments to herself. Takes part in party tactics discussions when nobody asks for information. Can't seem to keep "in-character" (the DM) and wants to participate in everything going on around her. Inadvertently steers the party in the direction she wanted them to go, but only because her arguments were based on full knowledge of what was awaiting the party.

#223 - The Whiner
When dice rolls go bad, they whine and wheedle their way to avoiding their character's death/disfigurement/using some powerful magic item they were saving for a rainy day. Makes you wonder why you play with dice in the first place.

#224 - The Whiner's Enabler
The DM that allows the whiner to get away with their whining. If a DM isn't prepared to have the party suffer the consequences of an encounter gone wrong, then she shouldn't put the possibility of such an outcome into the game.

sniffles
2006-11-08, 05:14 PM
Ooh, I love threads like this. ;)

#225 - The Pessimist
This player gives up on anything he tries that is unsuccessful. Failed a Tumble check? He'll never use his Tumble skill again. His magic didn't have the desired result? He'll never cast that spell again. Missed an attack roll? He'll stop attacking that particular foe. Instead of 'try try again', his motto is 'never again'.

#226 - The Cardboard Standee
This player is more than a casual gamer, but he never roleplays his character. His characters have no personality separate from his own, and he never says anything that can be interpreted as entirely in-character or entirely out-of-character. His characters are just stats on a sheet.

#227 - The PC Police
This player wants everyone to comply with her code of ethics and morals, even if the other players want to do something different. She responds to differences of opinion by threatening to leave the game or pouting.

#228 - The Browbeater
This player believes his tactic/strategy is the only one, and he won't let it go. He sinks his teeth into his idea like a bulldog, no matter what alternatives or arguments the other players offer. He thinks if he keeps repeating himself the other players will eventually give in and do it his way.

#229 - The Stereotyper
This player or DM always assumes that PCs or NPCs of a certain race will behave in a certain way, even if that's not the way they're defined in the particular setting in use. In his mind all elves are haughty and arrogant, all orcs are evil, all halflings are obsessed with food, and so forth.

#230 - The Puppeteer
This DM sees nothing wrong in telling players how their characters will behave, particularly if he fears that what the players will choose to do might derail his carefully constructed plot.

LynGrey
2006-11-09, 01:49 AM
all halflings are obsessed with food, and so forth.


...in our case its.. all halfings are obsessed with your coin purse =)

TheThan
2006-11-09, 02:12 AM
Ooh, I love threads like this. ;)

#229 - The Stereotyper
In his mind all elves are haughty and arrogant,



But all elves are haughty and arrogant...

Maxymiuk
2006-11-09, 02:25 AM
#231 The Paranoid

Firmly believes that the GM is out to screw with him. Will latch onto a non-important part of a room description (pile of old rags in the corner) and investigate it in the middle of combat, because he's convinced it's about to become some doomsday device or uber monster.

Predictably enough, his antics usually result in the party taking more losses than necessary, which only serves to validate his theory that this is all part of the GM's plot against him.

Edo
2006-11-09, 05:34 PM
#232: Joe The Samurai/Dvxdlqdt'vqrshpndvrmrts'vch Greenleaf
This player is the one who, for reasons that I won't try to fathom, shatters the verisimilitude of the world by giving his character a name completely unrelated to anything in the campaign setting. This is doubly irksome if, like me, you actually bother hashing out, to some degree, the linguistic feel of the campaign setting. It's a small pet peeve, but one that's definitely to be frowned on.

The corollary to this is the character who chooses a name without vowels, especially if it involves apostrophes and/or is more than ten syllables long. (Additional lost points if, in character, apostrophes have an actual phonetic value attached.) I mean, just look at the example. Doesn't it just burn your eyes?

The Glyphstone
2006-11-09, 06:25 PM
Ooh, I love threads like this. ;)

#225 - The Pessimist
This player gives up on anything he tries that is unsuccessful. Failed a Tumble check? He'll never use his Tumble skill again. His magic didn't have the desired result? He'll never cast that spell again. Missed an attack roll? He'll stop attacking that particular foe. Instead of 'try try again', his motto is 'never again'.


Sigh. This is the first one that matches one of my players to a T.

Brickwall
2006-11-09, 07:12 PM
#232: Joe The Samurai/Dvxdlqdt'vqrshpndvrmrts'vch Greenleaf
This player is the one who, for reasons that I won't try to fathom, shatters the verisimilitude of the world by giving his character a name completely unrelated to anything in the campaign setting. This is doubly irksome if, like me, you actually bother hashing out, to some degree, the linguistic feel of the campaign setting. It's a small pet peeve, but one that's definitely to be frowned on.

The corollary to this is the character who chooses a name without vowels, especially if it involves apostrophes and/or is more than ten syllables long. (Additional lost points if, in character, apostrophes have an actual phonetic value attached.) I mean, just look at the example. Doesn't it just burn your eyes?

So anyone with the name O'Malley is evil in your book?

If I was Irish, I'd be offended. :tongue:

Fax Celestis
2006-11-09, 07:17 PM
#233 The Uninitiated

This is the player who sits back and watches for most of the game, only contributing half-heartedly when someone else pokes him with a spoon.

Rex Idiotarum
2006-11-09, 10:38 PM
#234 Anyone Else But Me
If you don't play the way I do, you are doing it wrong. Min-maxing? it's more RP-ish to give your charactors balance and less specialization. Adding House-Rules? Only the ones I think is okay, else it might be broken. Using Core? Boring. Using Non-core? Too much to worry about. Find a good build? Well you're a munchkin. Playing with logic and physics? You just killed catgirls. Playing by the RAW? It's too unrealist. No matter what I will stick to my guns, and some others.

MrNexx
2006-11-09, 11:22 PM
#234 Anyone Else But Me
If you don't play the way I do, you are doing it wrong. Min-maxing? it's more RP-ish to give your charactors balance and less specialization. Adding House-Rules? Only the ones I think is okay, else it might be broken. Using Core? Boring. Using Non-core? Too much to worry about. Find a good build? Well you're a munchkin. Playing with logic and physics? You just killed catgirls. Playing by the RAW? It's too unrealist. No matter what I will stick to my guns, and some others.

That, I think, is one of your best posts to date.

Fualkner Asiniti
2006-11-09, 11:55 PM
#234 Anyone Else But Me
If you don't play the way I do, you are doing it wrong. Min-maxing? it's more RP-ish to give your charactors balance and less specialization. Adding House-Rules? Only the ones I think is okay, else it might be broken. Using Core? Boring. Using Non-core? Too much to worry about. Find a good build? Well you're a munchkin. Playing with logic and physics? You just killed catgirls. Playing by the RAW? It's too unrealist. No matter what I will stick to my guns, and some others.

...

Suddenly, I see my players in a whole new light... They'll go along with anything I throw at them, no matter how odd.

There was one time where I had a lizardman house in a wall of a dungeon. It never occured to me that the lizardmen couldn't possibly live there. Then one of my players pointed it out to me. That was embaressing.

#235 "If it's there, it's cannon fodder."

This player will blow up almost anything. They are most often wizards. If they accquire a wand of fireball, the world will end.

I have a minor version of this in one of my games. A dire rat ran into a shed, and he fireball'd it. It was pretty funny anyway.

Fax Celestis
2006-11-09, 11:58 PM
GOD I hate those too.

TheOOB
2006-11-10, 12:04 AM
#233 The Uninitiated

This is the player who sits back and watches for most of the game, only contributing half-heartedly when someone else pokes him with a spoon.

Our group moved past spoons a long time ago, I think we're at rusty forks by now...or d4s...rusty d4s

Fax Celestis
2006-11-10, 12:12 AM
I'm nearing 'castration with rusty spork' territory, myself.

Rex Idiotarum
2006-11-10, 12:16 AM
I ran out of other players, so I had to start on myself. Knowing your faults may be the first step to fix them, but I'll just sit on that stair.
'Too Much Noise! Lobotomy!' jabs pencil up player's eye soket, player skerms for a bit as he swirls the pencil around, then Player ceases movement, stares into space. soon enough player starts to drool.

Tyriq
2006-11-10, 12:18 AM
#236 The Competitive DM

We had a DM who wanted to compensate for his real-life insecurities by trying to defeat our characters. He played with a very DM-vs.-players attitude, and every time our characters got hit he used that to prove that he was smarter than we were, hah hah hah.

TheThan
2006-11-10, 12:19 AM
I'm nearing 'castration with rusty spork' territory, myself.

That bad eh?

TheOOB
2006-11-10, 12:19 AM
Speaking of d4s, they make great caltrops, and I don't know this because of a player whos feet stink and always took off their shoes during the game.

#237 - The Unclean

This player probally doesn't know what a shower is, and definatly has never used one, and your pretty sure that his brown voltron shirt used to be white...back in the 80s when he last washed it.

Fax Celestis
2006-11-10, 12:24 AM
#238 - The Explosive

At several points during the course of the game, this player inexplicably explodes in anger--YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!?!??!?!? Occasionally the anger is warranted, but most of the time it is not, and god forbid he should actually let go of some slight.

#239 - The Impatient

For some reason, this character will go out of his way to sidestep plot, enemies, traps, even deities. If you put it in his way, he'll find a way around it to get to the loot, occasionally getting to the loot before dealing with the opponents.

Rex Idiotarum
2006-11-10, 12:27 AM
#2--(Dammit this wouldn't be so hard to keep track of if people could count) The Dice Hoarder.

Has forty freakin' die, except that he doesn't lend them out. "My d4 must've slipped out of my pocket, could I barrow one for this spell?" then it takes him ten minutes to decide if your worthy enough to use one of his six D4.
(Of course doesn't help that you use his dice as caltrops)

TheOOB
2006-11-10, 12:49 AM
#241 - The Dice Voodoo Priest

We all can be a little superstitous about or dice, but this player is serious. Has an almost ritualized way he rolls his dice, and oftentimes expects players to do the same. If anything goes wrong, he blames the dice, often getting mad at one of the other players for doing something to ruin his dice (which he will never use agian).

TheThan
2006-11-10, 12:51 AM
242: The summer hog
This is the guy who eats up all the Cheetos and drinks all the mountain dew. Often times he will not even bother to ask, he just takes and eats. He usually doesn’t share or leave anything for the other players. Usually he can be restrained if other players get on his case. But left unchecked he can eat a host out of his house and home. It’s unclear whether he comes for the food or the game.

Jade_Tarem
2006-11-10, 01:15 AM
243: CS Approximator: This is one who has a nasty habit of generating characters at times when he has no access to ANY sort of reference material. These character sheets are usually incomplete and done in bad handwriting on loose leaf paper, with things like skills and equipment to be filled in as needed, which is probably the most irritating thing about this player. My group finally put in a "if you get to situation x and it isn't on your sheet, you don't have it" rule to fix this, but they're out there...

244: Greater CS Approximator: The higher version of the CS Approximator, this one has been playing for a while and knows just about all the rules - or close enough. Thus, he is above lowly character sheets and can keep track of all the relevant modifiers in his head. Except he can't. And the mistakes are usually in his favor...

245: Identity Crisis: Somewhat related to the type that constantly thinks thier character sucks, this one has characters that really do suck - and he wants to play a new one every week.

246: Reality Edit: Can add or remove words to anyone's mouth, even the DM. This typically is due to an excessively stubborn bookworm - one who has his own version of reality that he seeks to impose on everyone else. It's a rare but serious side effect :smalltongue: .

247: Reading Rainbow: Brings an excessive amount and variety of sources to the game and expects all of it to be playtested or accepted by the DM. Almost as though what's published in Semi-DnD Related Dragon Leaflet for Dummies is sacred material.

And because I forgot to say it before: Here's to doubling 101 :smallamused: .

Angela
2006-11-10, 01:46 AM
#241 - The Dice Voodoo Priest

We all can be a little superstitous about or dice, but this player is serious. Has an almost ritualized way he rolls his dice, and oftentimes expects players to do the same. If anything goes wrong, he blames the dice, often getting mad at one of the other players for doing something to ruin his dice (which he will never use agian).

We finished a campaign about 2 months ago with one of these players - if this player rolled badly (as in, anything under about a 13), she would 'punish' her dice by putting them in the freezer...

CockroachTeaParty
2006-11-10, 04:10 AM
The Kensai
Not always a kensai, but needs to play a character with two glowing swords. Also likes to be able to cast magic. Thank heavens for the Duskblade... now I can play at low levels and get him to shut up.

The Tinker Lord
Refuses to play a class as-written. Always has to add new little wierd rules that he tries to pass off as balanced, despite the fact that they are horridly broken. Gets angry when you demand he play a friggin' necromancer instead of a 12-year-old girl deathlord zombie army general.
(Ooh, and he hates to keep track of his undead horde's stats. ARG!)

...After reading this entire thread, I realized that a 'good' player would be some sort of amorphous, soulless, flawless drone. Or Jesus. Good luck finding a player void of quirks.

The Glyphstone
2006-11-10, 07:13 AM
...After reading this entire thread, I realized that a 'good' player would be some sort of amorphous, soulless, flawless drone. Or Jesus. Good luck finding a player void of quirks.


EXACTLy!:smallbiggrin:

Rex Idiotarum
2006-11-10, 08:47 AM
Nah, that wouldn't RP right.

Jades
2006-11-10, 12:34 PM
I'd play D&D with Jesus. My minister says that Jesus wouldn't play with me though... :(

Moribundus
2006-11-10, 01:06 PM
#250 The Person who insists on having multiple char's in the same campaign

This person is annoying and oftentimes quite greedy (oh, I won't bother to give you any of the gold that was on the corpses of the zombies that YOU killed) Or, I'm going to take my cleric and monk and go wander off down the corridor... or, better yet.... I'm going to get in an arguement with the DM about run speed and have it take an hour to chase a goblin running in a dungeon.

I'm sorry, this actually is talking about a specific person in my group... it's the rules lawyer, greedy bastad, munchkin and all of the miscellanea.


Blearg, as for myself.. I have not been playing that long, so I often stack dice (but I AM learning how do play... I actually read the books and this forum.. I still usually require help really getting a char where I want it to be though)

Gamebird
2006-11-10, 01:31 PM
#251 - Your own spouse or significant other in your own game.

Having this sort of person in the game causes a lot of problems. First off, a lot of other players will think anything good that happens to the #251 is due to favoritism. Anything bad that happens to them tends to make the DM suffer for the next week or two, or even end the relationship. It's especially difficult when you share a residence with this person, because then naturally a lot of non-game discussion will involve the game, meaning #251 gets a really good handle on the game world, likely encounters, how you think, etc. and then this impacts how they play. Which again, looks like favoritism.

Having a gaming S.O might seem really cool - and it is! - but it's also quite the balancing act if one has to DM for the other, or anyone in the game has insecurity issues.


#252 - Your significant other in someone else's game with you.

This is a true test of your SO's (and your own) control issues. At some point in time, one of you is going to have their character do something the other one doesn't want it to do. Maybe one will flirt with another PC. Or an NPC. Or hire a prostitute. Or steal a bit of treasure. Or make a really unwise, but character-valid decision. And that's when the poo hits the fan.

Hario
2006-11-10, 01:52 PM
#252 - Your significant other in someone else's game with you.

This is a true test of your SO's (and your own) control issues. At some point in time, one of you is going to have their character do something the other one doesn't want it to do. Maybe one will flirt with another PC. Or an NPC. Or hire a prostitute. Or steal a bit of treasure. Or make a really unwise, but character-valid decision. And that's when the poo hits the fan.

I did that in a campaign and she had no problem, my character was a sex freak, and kept on hitting on our mutual friend (male) who kept playing female characters with charisma over 12, she found it more hilarious that I kept hitting on him, near the end of the game a relationship between her character and mine almost was brewing seeing as we kept saving each other from the brink of death, but I was still flirting with the friend's female characters (he kept being a stupid PC and getting them dead or go evil)

KazilDarkeye
2006-11-27, 01:48 PM
253. Mr Noisebox

Whether it was quacking incessantly, belching (and expecting praise for it), or shouting across the room... you get the picture

254. Gas Attacker

Seriously...I don't know WHAT this guy ate but arggggh!

255. Mr. Can't keep his brain focused for even a millisecond

I know we already mentioned this as ADD, but this is a terminal case.
e.g

DM: You are trekking through the forest when...
Him: Hey, look a butterfly!


256. Naming Convention

There are 2 of these in my group.

1 names his charachter is:
(Name), Son of (Something Beer-Related)

examples include: Eldor, Son of Alechugger (This one was pretty funny)
Falador, Son of Budweiser


The second either uses his own name,
OR he threads together a name using stuff he's looking at

Examples: Alex
Clock...Shoe...d20...Pikachu!

Khantalas
2006-11-27, 02:11 PM
257. Me (AKA The Mass Gamekiller)

If you are in a game with me where I am a player, be afraid. I will most likely ruin all your plans, kill al your characters and put an end to a few small towns. If I am the DM, **** in your pants. You can never escape my Ubermench villain who has all spells, all of which he can cast as free or immediate actions without components and requiring any kind of Concentration or caster level checks and has incredibly high DCs.

Shazzbaa
2006-11-27, 02:21 PM
As far as what I actually am, I tend to be accused of falling into the "Quiet One" type role, but that's largely because every character I've played thus far has a rather lacking Charisma score and tends to keep out of delicate matters, or to fall into the background.
Actually I'm closest to the "I'm Different!" player. If my only option to be is human, I'll be sad. The one time I appear even remotely human, you know, I'm actually a werewolf.
There were a couple of things on here about people who intentionally gimp their characters, and I sort of fall into that, too... except I don't do it because I think it'll make me a better role-player... I do it because... I like having characters with a major weakness. ^^; What can I say, it's fun for me.

Rex Idiotarum
2006-11-27, 02:51 PM
258. The completely zoned out
Thinks he's somewhere else, and complain about how he got there when he comes to.

Edit: How did I end up here, I just remember reading something else...

Golthur
2006-11-27, 02:57 PM
254. Gas Attacker

Seriously...I don't know WHAT this guy ate but arggggh!

Yep. I've had a variant of one of these at more than one table, much to my chagrin. In my groups we've historically called any of these guys "The Brown Ninja". Silent but deadly.

The usual food culprit (discovered empirically) is onion rings.

Rain_Dancer
2006-11-27, 10:32 PM
In my groups we've historically called any of these guys "The Brown Ninja". Silent but deadly.

Bwah! And ew.


The usual food culprit (discovered empirically) is onion rings.

Yeah, I'm scared to ask how you "empirically" figured this out.

Golthur
2006-11-27, 11:29 PM
Yeah, I'm scared to ask how you "empirically" figured this out.
Let's just say that after a few too many... um... pungent... gaming sessions, we decided to figure out what was causing the "problem", as it were.

Oh yeah, good times. :yuk:

Kesnit
2006-11-28, 08:53 AM
#259 I Wanna Kill Something NOW! (Even though I don't know how)

In my last group, we had a kid who seemed to play D&D so he could kill things. When I joined the group, he was playing a Dwarven Cleric. However, he never prepared spells (didn't even know what spells he could prepare most of the time) and never healed. (We had an NPC cleric and a Paladin - me -who did all the healing.) All he did was throw his returning Warhammer. Sadly, he didn't know how to calculate THAC0 (Ed 2.5) or damage. So every time it was his turn, we had to walk him through dice rolls (sometimes going so far as to remind him to roll a d20). The party Wizard went so far as to put together a "cheat sheet" that listed all bonuses for attack and damage, but the kid still didn't get it.

That character finally died when he ran into a room full of ghosts and he was level drained beyond recall.

The DM tried to get him to take over the half-orc Fighter NPC. (Most the players were running 2 characters - our own and a DM-made NPC.) But no, the kid wanted to play a lizardman Druid. After an argument, the DM agreed to let the kid roll up a LVL 7 lizardman Druid - but only if he could do it without asking questions. The kid came back to the table an hour later for the final battle of that session (no spells prepared), and still had his THAC0 wrong.

KazilDarkeye
2006-11-28, 04:34 PM
Yep. I've had a variant of one of these at more than one table, much to my chagrin. In my groups we've historically called any of these guys "The Brown Ninja". Silent but deadly.

The usual food culprit (discovered empirically) is onion rings.

As for my group, it is usually a combination of ketchup-covered pizza, popcorn, crisps and beans.

He is the (Name), Son of (Something) character and the Gas Attacker. Another annoying name thing is:

(Random Letter) (Random Letter) UR (Random Letter) EK


(Seriously, I have formulae worked out for e.g How stupid they are)