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ManInOrange
2013-01-01, 11:35 PM
It started with an anarchic grizzly bear that my players were fighting against.... Someone brought up the prospect of eating the meat from the dead bear, and then [one of] the cleric[s] asked this:
"If I cast dismissal on the body, would they still be hungry?"

This led to the discussion of people with bulimia eating steaks made of celestial beef and dismissing the body. My players, otherwise unsatisfied, did quit until I told them that all that the bear would leave behind anything which had been separated from it.

What's the weirdest thing you, as a DM, have ever been asked to call a ruling on?

Acanous
2013-01-02, 12:32 AM
Wierdest? Jeez.. I dunno. The Grossest thing I think I've ever had to rule on was how much damage a glass vial full of vomit would do as an improvised thrown weapon (1d4), and weather or not it invoked a save VS Nausea or some other sickening effect.

The most horrible ruling I've ever had to make involved how much damage inserting one's hand into a womb and tearing out a fetus inflicted upon the mother.

...I have a weird group of friends.

Kane0
2013-01-02, 06:24 AM
"Can I consume the Gnome's soul? What are the benefits of doing so?"

"Can we turn this shady tavern into a gambling establishment? What would the profits be?"

"What is the DC to convince this guy (Cleric or Moradin) all Deities are false and corrupt?"

"If he is afraid of water, will he have to save vs fear when I cast create water over his head?"

"How many deposed Archfiends are there I can recruit to my cause?"

"What would it take to collapse or reform the outer planes?"

"Where is the nearest dragon we can loot?"

"If Dwarves are resistant to poison does that mean my Dwarf could be half drunk most of the time and actually be mostly sober?"

My answers in order were:
Yes, RP XP & temporary HP, Yes, Profession (Gambling Den) check in gp per night, 30 + Cleric Level, Yes, 30 or so, the end of the blood war or a major planar civil war (also the far realms making a move), 2 days walk beyond village 1 days travel from you, yes.

There have been/will be wierder ones, but those are off the top of my head.

Andreaz
2013-01-02, 06:51 AM
Once we had to rule the effects of some nasty STDs would inflict on cake. Our certain party member's no longer allowed to play spellcasters.

hymer
2013-01-02, 07:43 AM
I once (due to player request for PC background) had to write a short treatise on the cultural aspects of sexuality on elves (high and sylvan) in that campaign world. Probably the weirdest hour spent detailing fluff I've done yet, but not unpleasant. :smallsmile:

Edit @ Andreaz: On cake? Were you playing Toons?

Edit @ people who wanted to read that text: The treatise can be found here (http://peninsulacampaign.deviantart.com/art/On-elven-sexuality-in-the-Atheist-campaign-347073345?ga_submit=10%3A1357494896): Be forewarned of sexual themes (it is a treatise on sexuality after all) and this being written by a generally liberal and unsquickable (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Squick) mind.

Edit: deviantArt isn't that good for text, so I suggest copy/pasting it into something your eyes are more likely to find acceptable.

Andreaz
2013-01-02, 07:48 AM
Edit @ Andreaz: On cake? Were you playing Toons?Polymorph spells.

DigoDragon
2013-01-02, 07:58 AM
Strangest rulings...


How much damage a Kobold under a "Hold Monster" effect would deal as a greatclub?
What's the Climb DC on the back of a flying gargantuan black dragon to poke its eyes out?
How much fire damage does the flame of an STS solid rocket boster do to a T-1000?
What's the skill penalty to manually jumpstart a DC-3 engine while the plane is in flight (The mechanic was on the wing with cables and a battery)?

Malimar
2013-01-02, 08:05 AM
At one point, the party found a fountain of magic water. They identified it as magic water, but couldn't figure out what it would do to them, so they didn't drink it.

The next room, they found some fire elementals. The party fighter took it upon himself to take a mouthful of the magic water, walk over to the elementals, and try to spit it on them.

I mused, aloud, "Well, now I have to figure out whether just putting it in your mouth counts..." I had to call a 5-minute break to accommodate all the giggling, because my players are all apparently twelve (despite being in their mid-twenties).

I eventually decided that, at least in this case, it did count. If you're curious, it was a fountain of water of gender-changing. Because I am apparently twelve (despite being in my mid-twenties).

Vknight
2013-01-02, 06:20 PM
Hmmm well here we go

Do the eye lasers provide enough light to see by?
Do the Tacks I pulled from his body still have the ability to talk?
What would I roll to ride the door down the stairs into the monster and jump off at the last moment?
Can I body slam the guy 3 stories down and how much damage will that do?
How long will it take the orphanage to burn?
Can I sell my soul to my dad for power and get it back for my birthday?

I have more but yeah weird things

Aron Times
2013-01-02, 09:23 PM
I'm not the DM, but I can only imagine what went through his mind when he ruled that sending in some dwarven strippers with spiked wine to disable the thieves' guild's guards would work spectacularly well.

I'm playing in a D&D 3.5 campaign where an army of necromancers is trying to take over the world. Somewhere along the way, two of our party members (a human fighter and an anthro bear barbarian/fighter) accidentally killed a city guard. We agree to take out the local thieves' guild to earn a pardon from the city's general, and we eventually make it to their headquarters.

The bear and the fighter want to do a full frontal assault, but I convince them to do something else. My plan is to send in a bunch of dwarven strippers ("Girls with beards you can hold on to!") pulling a wagon of spiked wine ("roofies") with a note from the town's resident crazy blacksmith (Craaazy Daaave!). The note from the blacksmith was the party bard's idea.

The DM went ROFLMAO, along with the entire party. We had to stop the game for a few minutes to catch our breath. Our DM kept saying, "Oh god..." Basically it was one of my craziest ideas ever.

So we get Crazy Dave's autograph. He tries to sign my face, but our party bard manages to convince him to sign a piece of paper instead. We then get a wagon of wine for 25 gp, then go to a local herbalist to ask for something that "makes the ladies go night-night." The herbalist, an old woman, hands us a club. We ask for something more subtle, and she gives us as a sleeping potion and told us to get out of her shop. We then send the bard to get some dwarven strippers from the local club, and I was unfortunately away, catching my breath from laughing so hard that I missed the scene entirely.

Now, we send the dwarven strippers to bring the wagon to the fortified estate, and wait. The end result: We bypassed a huge fight with the guards, allowing us to assassinate the head of the thieves' guild as well as a corrupt member of the city guard and a puppet of the necromancer army. We got out before the guards woke up, then went back to the general with the heads of our targets.

Pardon granted. At this point, the general goes to the window and dismisses us, but gets hit by an arrow. We try to heal him, but he still falls unconscious. The city alarms go off; the necromancers are besieging the city!

Nyes the Dark
2013-01-02, 10:22 PM
All of the below are rulings my DM had to make for us.

"Can I roll Nature to tame these prairie dogs?" (yes; we now have a mini army of them.)

"Can I roll Diplomacy to go around the castle asking the royals annoying questions?" (yes; I failed, and got sent to my room.)

Just a couple I remember.

Loth17
2013-01-02, 10:25 PM
"Ive drunken from a celestial font of holy abrosia and a hellfont of child blood. If i vomited it up and stored it in a bottle and hit Asmodius over the head with it would i deal extra damage?"

AuraTwilight
2013-01-02, 11:57 PM
My group have invented a very complicated form of conflict resolution when they cannot settle an argument on what they should do.

It is called having a Bro Down.

It works exactly like a certain South Park episode, and involves this horrendous equation of rolling CHA minus an INT check plus an STR check minus Wisdom modifier with...

Ugh. If I don't let them do it they'll just keep going.

nersxe
2013-01-03, 12:12 AM
"How much would it cost for a permit to get my horde of undead into my private room on the pocket plane?"

Geostationary
2013-01-03, 02:47 AM
"If I scare the rabbit, can I get the innocence to fall out?"
"Can I use my hair to make a jar for the innocence?
"We want to resolve this via squirrel race. How do we do that?"

Ones I've foisted upon the GM- "Can we ignore the plot (Red Hand of Doom) and instead become a traveling foodcart/assassins guild?" (Turns out yes.)
"If I sacrifice this chicken, can I call Hell collect?" (Surprisingly, also yes. You can also receive small packages at the cost of another chicken.)

Makiru
2013-01-04, 12:08 AM
Off the top of my head, I've had to figure out the Handle Animal to train shocker lizards via pokemon battle, the armor bonus one gets for wearing a barrel, the Diplomacy modifier one gets against demons when you eat a preincarnate soul in front of them, the Craft (baking) & (alchemy) checks to turn a preincarnate soul into a moist and delicious cake for the purposes of being bros with the aforementioned demons, and the Knowledge (nature) check for the druid to grow a soul tree somewhere that isn't the Positive Energy Plane.

That's about it from my side of the DM screen, but I've been in groups that instigated far worse. (Same people, though.)

Also, that didn't include any of the Pirates vs. Ninjas beta test games, especially since Dairun Cates GMs by the seat of his pants 90% of the time.

Kynarus
2013-01-04, 11:31 PM
One of my player's backgrounds had them with a pet weasel
"Can I use my weasel to give that elf a gender-changing operation?"

Also, there was a half-orc barbarian and a halfling ranger in the group
"How much damage would I do if I threw the halfling at the guards?

At the end of the adventure there was a big portal that killed all who passed through it. We had an assassin in our group who was trying to gain a surprise bonus by hiding in a bag of holding (I eventually said yes). The barbarian was assigned to carry the bag
"What happens if I throw the bag of holding at the portal?"

Kornaki
2013-01-05, 01:55 AM
Is having my soul sucked out rendering my body comatic considered to be against the purpose (to kill things) of my intelligent item magic armor which is imbued with the spirit of a barbarian berserker, and can it force an ego check to make my body keep battling? (answer: yes)

Malimar
2013-01-05, 05:44 AM
This just happened today, and I was thinking about this thread all while I was doing the math:

The PCs found a very large room, containing a very large rift (to the Abyssal Plane of Fire), which they wanted to close off, even only temporarily.

The PCs have, in their possession, a Bag of Infinite Muffins, which, if you reach in, always contains exactly one muffin, no matter how many muffins you pull out.

The party, obviously, decided that they wanted to fill the room with enough muffins to clog up the rift, and wanted to know how many muffins (and how much time) it would take.

I looked at them askance, then did some math to come up with a number. If the party worked, nonstop, pulling muffins as fast as possible, assuming that none of the muffins fell into the rift, assuming that they'd never get interrupted by monsters wandering through the dungeon or the rift: it would take a little under half a year to fill the room high enough with muffins to enclose the rift.

Chilingsworth
2013-01-05, 06:06 AM
This just happened today, and I was thinking about this thread all while I was doing the math:

The PCs found a very large room, containing a very large rift (to the Abyssal Plane of Fire), which they wanted to close off, even only temporarily.

The PCs have, in their possession, a Bag of Infinite Muffins, which, if you reach in, always contains exactly one muffin, no matter how many muffins you pull out.

The party, obviously, decided that they wanted to fill the room with enough muffins to clog up the rift, and wanted to know how many muffins (and how much time) it would take.

I looked at them askance, then did some math to come up with a number. If the party worked, nonstop, pulling muffins as fast as possible, assuming that none of the muffins fell into the rift, assuming that they'd never get interrupted by monsters wandering through the dungeon or the rift: it would take a little under half a year to fill the room high enough with muffins to enclose the rift.

You forgot to factor in the rate of muffin decomposition. :smalltongue:

On another note, if the rift could be filled simply with a large amount of matter, why didn't they just try walls of stone or iron? If they weren't high enough level to be casting such spells, what the heck were they doing trying to deal with an abyssal rift? :smallwink:

willpell
2013-01-05, 06:40 AM
I once (due to player request for PC background) had to write a short treatise on the cultural aspects of sexuality on elves (high and sylvan) in that campaign world. Probably the weirdest hour spent detailing fluff I've done yet, but not unpleasant. :smallsmile:

Sounds awesome to me. Don't suppose that treatise is available online?


Polymorph spells.

So the cake was your ally?

Malimar
2013-01-05, 06:44 AM
You forgot to factor in the rate of muffin decomposition. :smalltongue:

Another factor I left out of the calculations! Suffice it to say, half a year was the absolute minimum.


On another note, if the rift could be filled simply with a large amount of matter, why didn't they just try walls of stone or iron?

The highest level character just dinged 9 this session; the two casters are 8 and 7. I think they've picked up at least one or two scrolls of wall of stone and/or iron over the course of the campaign, but they've since lost and/or sold them.


If they weren't high enough level to be casting such spells, what the heck were they doing trying to deal with an abyssal rift? :smallwink:

That is a very good question indeed. At the moment, they're leaving to go in search of a way to close it so they can come back later.

Alejandro
2013-01-05, 09:53 AM
Another factor I left out of the calculations! Suffice it to say, half a year was the absolute minimum.



The highest level character just dinged 9 this session; the two casters are 8 and 7. I think they've picked up at least one or two scrolls of wall of stone and/or iron over the course of the campaign, but they've since lost and/or sold them.



That is a very good question indeed. At the moment, they're leaving to go in search of a way to close it so they can come back later.

Ha, and this is why you should always keep those scrolls. Perhaps they should have tried warding the room, instead of blocking it? Wizard lock the door?

Necroticplague
2013-01-05, 01:31 PM
For a game of shadowrun:
Can a cyberzombie technomancer use his negative essence as if it were positive?
Sure, why not (of course, this lead to him being a more potent technomancer as he added more 'ware).

Can I simply flash-reverse the cryogenics to get this done instead of manually shutting down each pod?
Not from this node, you'll need a different node that is guarded by 3 spiders and some harsh IC.

enderlord99
2013-01-05, 02:02 PM
Can I sell my soul to my dad for power and get it back for my birthday?

Wouldn't it be easier to just ask for the power for your birthday?

SilverLeaf167
2013-01-05, 03:08 PM
I'm currently discussing with a friend over Skype whether a bicycle would stay in motion when you take it along while teleporting. This expanded into a longer discussion about how exactly teleportation spells interact with the Astral plane. I'm getting tired of the whole discussion and it has come to the part where I play the dreaded "it's magic, it works" card.

He bugs me about five or so matters like this every single day, so I'd probably have a lot to share if my memory didn't filter these things out as spam most of the time. :smallannoyed:

Jane_Smith
2013-01-06, 03:05 AM
Me: "If I pull out a few strands of my characters hair, could I use it as a improvised tool to open this prison cell's lock with?"

DM: "Er, I guess, but you will take a -20 penalty to the check, and nat 20's in this game are not auto successful - and sense your hair is fragile, you can't take a 10 or 20."

Me: "Fair enough." -rolls natural 20 with a +15 bonus at level 1 due to a great deal of min/maxing to be a expert vault-cracker/burglar-

DM/Party: "...." -the sound of the plot crumbling as I escape the prison without the party and take all there things from the evidence room and sell it all for about a thousand gold in a nearby town-

True neutral is the best alignment.

Chilingsworth
2013-01-06, 04:25 AM
Me: "If I pull out a few strands of my characters hair, could I use it as a improvised tool to open this prison cell's lock with?"

DM: "Er, I guess, but you will take a -20 penalty to the check, and nat 20's in this game are not auto successful - and sense your hair is fragile, you can't take a 10 or 20."

Me: "Fair enough." -rolls natural 20 with a +15 bonus at level 1 due to a great deal of min/maxing to be a expert vault-cracker/burglar-

DM/Party: "...." -the sound of the plot crumbling as I escape the prison without the party and take all there things from the evidence room and sell it all for about a thousand gold in a nearby town-

True neutral is the best alignment.

Serves the DM right for putting what are apparently the worst locks in the world on those prison cells, serriously:


Lock

The DC to open a lock with the Open Lock skill depends on the lock’s quality: simple (DC 20), average (DC 25), good (DC 30), or superior (DC 40).

In other words, your total check result of 15 (15 + 20 - 20) should have failed even against the worst lock listed in the PHB/SRD. Even if locks with such low DC's exist in your DM's world, only a complete fool would actually use them to lock prison cells. Furthermore, a competently run prison should use basic prisoner processing procedures including full cavity searches, removal of all hair (to reduce parasite problems and improve general cleanliness, also to aid in identification of escaped prisoners) and the issuance of easily identifiable prison clothing.

It is a shame that your DM let his/her foolishness adversely affect your fellow players, though.

On another note, how many DMGs and PHBs did you have hurled at you for this?:smalltongue:

Jane_Smith
2013-01-06, 05:12 AM
I forgot to mention nat 20's were not an auto-success, but did give a +10 bonus. Same with 1's being a -10. So my check result was 25 overall, thus it was at least an average lock.

The story I can recall;
The prison if i remember was extremely old and officially not even still meant to be used due to its run-down state, but a corrupt magistrate was using it to house people he wanted to disappear, so it was in a bit of disrepair, the cell bars were rusted, but our warrior was acting lawful stupid and thought he justly broke the law/etc and wanted us to be tried/etc and didn't seem to get there would not be a trial. Sigh, so breaking the bars to escape was out of the question. Our bard managed to use a suggestion on the guard left to watch over us that we were not THAT important over getting lunch, and that is why the only competent guard in the immediate room left. As for me, I had a flaw for being extremely skinny, so after I broke out of the cell, I snuck into the next room where I remember they stashed (most) of our stuff, stole it all, killed one of the other guards in a hallway that had a window, and used one of my flasks of stonebreaker to erode the stone around the frame, popped it out and dropped like 20 feet to my freedom by shimming my skinny body threw the hole it left.


Ends up the plot? Was suppose to have the party meet with the magistrate to find out he would make our (false) crimes "disappear" if we did some errands for him, thus our reason for being together, etc. I kinda just flipped the magistrate the bird in a sense and skipped him entirely, returned to his home, broke in, killed three of his servants, stole just about anything made of gold that was not nailed down, burnt it down, and then preceded to trail the pc's the entire campaign as a background annoyance that constantly stole, harassed, and murdered, all the magistrates friends, contacts, drug-runners, agents, and the like.

The irony of it all is, despite my deeds, my character was the most "good aligned" of the entire party... the magistrate wanted them to perform assassinations, act as drug runners, and more, so I was just performing a one-woman shadow war. Due to my constant theft of just about every coin and object they did not carry and stealing from there patrons vaults, etc, I ended up with about 70,000 gold before level 6 as a full on rogue. I even managed to save one of the nobles the players were sent to kill, and my character was going to arrange a marriage with him to lure the pc's into a trap at the ceremony, and ended up falling in love with the noble for real. The game, sadly, ended when our dm's mother died in real life... right before the holidays to boot. So obviously there was no hope of it ever being revived, and I could not blame him a bit. Though I sometimes wonder how the show down would have went with my hired thugs, the nobles guards, vs. the other pc's would have went. Felt good being the antagonist... er, or hero? whatever. xD

Darius Kane
2013-01-06, 05:29 AM
I once (due to player request for PC background) had to write a short treatise on the cultural aspects of sexuality on elves (high and sylvan) in that campaign world. Probably the weirdest hour spent detailing fluff I've done yet, but not unpleasant. :smallsmile:
Do you have that treatise handy?

Sith_Happens
2013-01-06, 06:01 AM
Me: "If I pull out a few strands of my characters hair, could I use it as a improvised tool to open this prison cell's lock with?"

DM: "Er, I guess, but you will take a -20 penalty to the check, and nat 20's in this game are not auto successful - and sense your hair is fragile, you can't take a 10 or 20."

Me: "Fair enough." -rolls natural 20 with a +15 bonus at level 1 due to a great deal of min/maxing to be a expert vault-cracker/burglar-

DM/Party: "...." -the sound of the plot crumbling as I escape the prison without the party and take all there things from the evidence room and sell it all for about a thousand gold in a nearby town-

True neutral is the best alignment.

Technically, the penalty should have just been -2. Improvised tools are improvised tools.:smallbiggrin:

hymer
2013-01-06, 07:21 AM
Do you have that treatise handy?

I just looked it up, and it's in Danish. Any good?

Darius Kane
2013-01-06, 07:25 AM
Um, no, unfortunately.

hymer
2013-01-06, 07:28 AM
Was there something in particular you wanted? Mostly curious.

Darius Kane
2013-01-06, 07:29 AM
All sounded interesting.

willpell
2013-01-06, 08:55 AM
Technically, the penalty should have just been -2. Improvised tools are improvised tools.:smallbiggrin:

Letting it count as a tool at all was pretty dang generous of the DM.


Was there something in particular you wanted? Mostly curious.

I had also wondered about it, but not any specific question, it just sounded like it'd make for interesting reading. Alas, I don't know Danish even well enough to say so in Danish.

hewhosaysfish
2013-01-06, 11:05 AM
Wouldn't it be easier to just ask for the power for your birthday?

Presumably he (thinks he) needs the power NOW but (thinks) he can manage without his soul until his next birthday.

Grinner
2013-01-06, 11:25 AM
@hymer: I'd like to read that treatise as well. Could you upload the document somewhere, and let us try Google Translate?

hymer
2013-01-06, 11:29 AM
Why don't I just translate it properly, then. :smallsmile:
It's not as juicy as some might hope, but I'll get on it when I get a chance.

Guizonde
2013-01-06, 11:34 AM
i think among the weirdest rulings were (keep in mind i was part of the pc's):
*do i get hit points back for eating the barkeep? if yes, how much for just eating the leg and keeping the rest for later? (yup, d6 for each appendage)
*does that teddy bear grant me a bonus to charisma? (said by a half-ork barbarian. +1 for adorkableness)
*does X suffer? if so, how much if quantifiable? (dm screamed at the pc's face. not an exact figure, but we gathered it hurt)
*can we rob a bank? (medieval village, mind you. d20 roll came up natural 20, so yes, there was a bank. yes we robbed it)
*how many dead soldiers can i raise at the same time? (45) how many can i control, either passively or actively? (too much for quantifiability)
*can my halfling have a bright-pink mohawk? (yup)
*can i teach my warpony how to count? (yup, and seeing the roll, it could actually count as my accountant)
*what happens if i try to goomba stomp a kraken from 15 meters up? (fall damage halved and transferred to the kraken)
*can i tie the druid's familiar to a broom to count as a polearm? (no. the druid would lose his powers and you'd be favored enemy to all members of the familiar's race)
*can i count small critters as projectiles? if yes, how much damage does it do? (no. never. niet. nein.)
*is my (male) minotaur lactating? (0_o what is this i don't even. NO!)
*can i use (party member) as a battering ram? (no, the door is too thick even for the barbarian's skull. it would most likely kill him on impact)

Kynarus
2013-01-06, 11:45 AM
We had a campaign in 4e, and one of the characters was a beast companion halfling ranger. He had some sort of drake for his pet, would he had said loved jello.

*His drake is at low health*
"Can I shoot him with a jello tipped arrow to revive him?

*Later, we fought a gelatinous cuber*
"Can my drake just eat the gelatinous cube?*

hymer
2013-01-06, 12:57 PM
The treatise can be found here (http://peninsulacampaign.deviantart.com/art/On-elven-sexuality-in-the-Atheist-campaign-347073345?ga_submit=10%3A1357494896): Be forewarned of sexual themes (it is a treatise on sexuality after all) and this being written by a generally liberal and unsquickable (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Squick) mind.

Edit: deviantArt isn't that good for text, so I suggest copy/pasting it into something your eyes are more likely to find acceptable.

Cirrylius
2013-01-06, 01:10 PM
Sounds awesome to me. Don't suppose that treatise is available online?


I was just gonna suggest the Book of Erotic Fantasy. The entry for elves pretty much boils down to "bi-curious until young adulthood, then roughly even chance for any personal preference thereafter"

Grinner
2013-01-06, 01:28 PM
The treatise can be found here (http://peninsulacampaign.deviantart.com/art/On-elven-sexuality-in-the-Atheist-campaign-347073345?ga_submit=10%3A1357494896): Be forewarned of sexual themes (it is a treatise on sexuality after all) and this being written by a generally liberal and unsquickable (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Squick) mind.

Interesting read, and it does justify many of tropes regarding elven sexual ambiguity. I feel like you're overselling it a bit, though.

hymer
2013-01-06, 01:50 PM
@ Grinner: Thanks. :smallsmile: As for 'selling' it, I just don't want to get in trouble. There are Americans on this board, you know.

Accordion Twome
2013-01-06, 05:59 PM
"Can I make a cannon with this pound of gun powder, a masterwork throwing stone and this pipe from my hang glider?"

I ruled that if he rolled a high enough craft (weapon smith) it would not blow up in his face. He rolled an 18, so the pipe blew up on the first shot. But boy, was he pleased. :smallsmile:

Gnomish Wanderer
2013-01-06, 10:23 PM
'If I jump on the giant's back can I use the ride skill instead of grapple and use him like a rodeo animal?' -.-
'How many guards can I attempt to seduce at once?' ._.
'If I polymorph into an elephant in the fissure can I split it open?' *.*
'Will eating all the hallucinogens at once help protect us from the mindflayers?' @[email protected]
'How much water will this town be hit with when we destroy the dam?' o_0
'Can I polymorph to a female giant squid specifically in heat?' o.o
'What's the chance of pregnancy from doing that?' 0.0

Chilingsworth
2013-01-06, 11:52 PM
I forgot to mention nat 20's were not an auto-success, but did give a +10 bonus. Same with 1's being a -10. So my check result was 25 overall, thus it was at least an average lock.

The story I can recall;
The prison if i remember was extremely old and officially not even still meant to be used due to its run-down state, but a corrupt magistrate was using it to house people he wanted to disappear, so it was in a bit of disrepair, the cell bars were rusted, but our warrior was acting lawful stupid and thought he justly broke the law/etc and wanted us to be tried/etc and didn't seem to get there would not be a trial. Sigh, so breaking the bars to escape was out of the question. Our bard managed to use a suggestion on the guard left to watch over us that we were not THAT important over getting lunch, and that is why the only competent guard in the immediate room left. As for me, I had a flaw for being extremely skinny, so after I broke out of the cell, I snuck into the next room where I remember they stashed (most) of our stuff, stole it all, killed one of the other guards in a hallway that had a window, and used one of my flasks of stonebreaker to erode the stone around the frame, popped it out and dropped like 20 feet to my freedom by shimming my skinny body threw the hole it left.


Ends up the plot? Was suppose to have the party meet with the magistrate to find out he would make our (false) crimes "disappear" if we did some errands for him, thus our reason for being together, etc. I kinda just flipped the magistrate the bird in a sense and skipped him entirely, returned to his home, broke in, killed three of his servants, stole just about anything made of gold that was not nailed down, burnt it down, and then preceded to trail the pc's the entire campaign as a background annoyance that constantly stole, harassed, and murdered, all the magistrates friends, contacts, drug-runners, agents, and the like.

The irony of it all is, despite my deeds, my character was the most "good aligned" of the entire party... the magistrate wanted them to perform assassinations, act as drug runners, and more, so I was just performing a one-woman shadow war. Due to my constant theft of just about every coin and object they did not carry and stealing from there patrons vaults, etc, I ended up with about 70,000 gold before level 6 as a full on rogue. I even managed to save one of the nobles the players were sent to kill, and my character was going to arrange a marriage with him to lure the pc's into a trap at the ceremony, and ended up falling in love with the noble for real. The game, sadly, ended when our dm's mother died in real life... right before the holidays to boot. So obviously there was no hope of it ever being revived, and I could not blame him a bit. Though I sometimes wonder how the show down would have went with my hired thugs, the nobles guards, vs. the other pc's would have went. Felt good being the antagonist... er, or hero? whatever. xD

Well, that's much more epic than I imagined. My appologies for the nitpicking.

Chilingsworth
2013-01-07, 12:04 AM
There are Americans on this board, you know.

We're not that prudish, are we? :smalltongue:

Guizonde
2013-01-07, 12:37 PM
@ gnomish wanderer: what were the rulings? these seem almost workable/doable (in a kind of insane way)

@chillingsworth: yes, yes we are. i call it the american paradox: great bringers of gritty bawdyness, revelling slyly in risqué situations, and yet incapable of seeing classical art without blushing or nervously chuckling.
to give you guys a book about elven sexual practices would have you laughing out loud, calling heresy, and being ashamed of enjoying it so much :p
(don't worry, i'm virginian, but spending a decade in france has been... an eye-opener, to say the least!)

Gnomish Wanderer
2013-01-07, 03:45 PM
@Guizonde I believe the rulings were, respectively,
-The answer was surprisingly yes, but I allowed the giant to make a grapple check to remove the rider on his turns (He rolled poorly, the cleric was successfully riding a giant)
-I ruled it a diplomacy roll with an increased difficulty of +2 or 3 per extra guard attempted. HE rolled well
-I decided to let this work, it was a clever way to escape from a dungeon
-Heh heh, sorta? I let it work for the first couple of rounds, which severely disoriented the mindflayers as well and made several fall off the ship, but then the mindflayers wised up and tuned out the psychosis
-LOTS
-Yep, I allowed the transformation to a specific form of squid, allowing it to lay eggs and temporarily distract the two male squids attacking them. Unfortunately, like many animals, squid get MORE aggressive while attempting to mate. It still helped the party because even though the squids were attacking with increased fury after a few rounds, many of the attacks targeted the other squid instead of the players
-The eggs weren't fertile

Guizonde
2013-01-09, 04:52 PM
i asked one to my whfrp dm earlier:

so my lizard (chameleon skink in the empire) already knows lizardspeak, reikspiel, and pubroom estalian (so, how to gamble and order a drink... roughly, with improvisation tolerated). can i learn how to speak tilean from a tilean fishmonger too?

his answer: *bug-eyed look* don't you think that having an invisible face is bad for the group?

me: well, i'm already trilingual. why not become the linguist?

him: you're already the linguist, and if someone sees you, you'll be hunted on sight. besides, you're already more than proficient in cursing in tongues. no need to be even more foul-mouthed.

the face of the group got banned becoming the omniglot not on account of his appearance (death on sight in the empire) but because he feared i was gonna have an invisible cursing machine. WHAT.

i guess "can the xenos become the face of the group" is another absurd question and ruling...

(before you ask, the "death on sight" is a flaw in all but name, too keep me from being too overpowered, and ties in well rp-wise)

Togath
2013-01-09, 08:33 PM
One from a pbp;
Can I punch/stab the hinges of the prison cell door to escape faster then picking the lock?(apparently yes, but the guard standing on the other side noticed...)

A possible one depending on how the same pbp goes;
Can I use my saliva, urine, or clawing the circle in the floor to draw the circles needed to rebind vestiges? Alternatively, how much of a bonus would using my character’s clothes as a tool to help break down the door grant?

Thajocoth
2013-01-09, 09:13 PM
Should the mountain-range-sized primordial that's made of stone & pregnant with a god's child have thrown her back out when it threw the small explosive device into orbit?

Half the people at the table started to do math to try to solve for this using approximations on sizes and such. The other half of the table (myself included) were quite clearly getting very bored with all of this, so I interrupted them with something like: "Why are you even debating this? There are so many reasons that prevent this possibility, like being a primordial."

The primordial was an ally that they saved.

Guizonde
2013-01-09, 09:40 PM
Should the mountain-range-sized primordial that's made of stone & pregnant with a god's child have thrown her back out when it threw the small explosive device into orbit?

Half the people at the table started to do math to try to solve for this using approximations on sizes and such. The other half of the table (myself included) were quite clearly getting very bored with all of this, so I interrupted them with something like: "Why are you even debating this? There are so many reasons that prevent this possibility, like being a primordial."

The primordial was an ally that they saved.

and i thought my table was weird! how was that question even askable? i can haz context please?

Jane_Smith
2013-01-10, 09:38 AM
"Can I play a human paladin named Steven Colburt?"

Answer: Apparently yes, though he died to a goblin rogue in a sewer at level 1.


"I jump at the armored wagons roof and land on top to break threw to get inside. What do I see?"

Answer: Nothing, because you forgot its an ARMORED and reinforced prison wagon and you just broke your ankles and are now surrounded by two full plated guards who were manning the ballistas I told you about on either side... At level 2. Funny it was the same player, and died just as fast. In the same campaign.


"If I kill the mayor's daughter and use her face as a mask would I get a discount at the general store?"

Answer: Wut. Just. Wut. No, seriously, ooc, where the flying hell did that come from? :smalleek: Arnt you playing a PALADIN!?!!?!?


"If I touch anything with these bracers hard enough and it causes a rain of stone shards to fall down aroundand on me, can I throw them at something to activate them away from me so I can be safe?"

Answer: "Yes. with a ranged touch attack."

-he rolls a nat 20, but throws it where it hits the rest of the party just to hit a single enemy and kills the bard- "Do I get exp for killing him to?"

Answer by dm/bard: "NO."

"Can I loot the corpse?"

Answer: "..... -headdesk sound-"


"Ok, I failed my intimidate check, my diplomacy check, and my bluff check, can I try to like, seduce the elf ambassador as my last option?" Asks the orc barbarian.

Answer: "Meh go ahead. But keep in mind she hates orcs..."

-rolls a nat 20-

Answer: "No, just no, roll to confirm it again."

-rolls a nat 19-

Answer: "... -facedesks- I give up dming."

Meeki
2013-01-10, 02:19 PM
I made an account just for this thread; well that and I like to eat celestial cows.

Weird questions I asked:

"How many orphans do I need to coax into worshiping my new god to retain divine rank 0? Also, how many orphanages are for sale in this city?"

"Does the vampire have an expensive silverware set?"

"Can I just sit in this vault for a few years while this whole assassinating me thing blows over?"



Weird question I was asked as DM:

"What is the approximate mass of the ogre before it turned to gold?"


Favorite, quirky house rule:
Create Food and Water seemed to have an error in how much food and water was created, indicating it either created food for three humanoids or one horse per level. So, mockingly, we would let a level 10 cleric feed ten horses or three humans.

Grinner
2013-01-10, 02:38 PM
Weird question I was asked as DM:

"What is the approximate mass of the ogre before it turned to gold?"

That question actually makes sense, for I can only assume that the player was attempting to calculate the monetary value of the golden ogre on the rather fallacious assumption that D&D magic obeys the law of conservation of mass.

DrachenGlied
2013-01-10, 03:29 PM
"If I drop the halfling down the well and try to hit the fighter while he's down there, would the fighter get a reflex save, or would I have to make an attack roll."

"Could I get a bonus for grappling the enemy barbarian if I grapple him in an uncomfortable spot?"

Guizonde
2013-01-10, 03:36 PM
"If I drop the halfling down the well and try to hit the fighter while he's down there, would the fighter get a reflex save, or would I have to make an attack roll."

"Could I get a bonus for grappling the enemy barbarian if I grapple him in an uncomfortable spot?"

the first happened almost verbatim a few sessions ago, what did your dm rule?

Thajocoth
2013-01-10, 03:41 PM
and i thought my table was weird! how was that question even askable? i can haz context please?

Well, I had them go into a mountain range to look into some arcane energies, and they figured out what the dungeon was right about the time they were moving from the mountain's large intestine to her small intestine. A few checks later... This primordial was defeated in battle during the Dawn War, but wasn't killed. It's been pregnant (likely not by choice) & in a coma ever since then. The gods had assumed she was dead.

They used the magical power in it's ovaries to heal the wound in it's heart, making friends with a (now sterile & conscious) primordial. She started digging herself out of the ground she was half-embedded in while the heroes returned to the city. Later, they discovered a plot to spread a zombification plague through this city, located the device which was set to explode, releasing the contagion, and brought it to their friend to have it thrown into orbit. (She had dug herself out most of the way by this point.)

Guizonde
2013-01-10, 03:58 PM
Well, I had them go into a mountain range to look into some arcane energies, and they figured out what the dungeon was right about the time they were moving from the mountain's large intestine to her small intestine. A few checks later... This primordial was defeated in battle during the Dawn War, but wasn't killed. It's been pregnant (likely not by choice) & in a coma ever since then. The gods had assumed she was dead.

They used the magical power in it's ovaries to heal the wound in it's heart, making friends with a (now sterile & conscious) primordial. She started digging herself out of the ground she was half-embedded in while the heroes returned to the city. Later, they discovered a plot to spread a zombification plague through this city, located the device which was set to explode, releasing the contagion, and brought it to their friend to have it thrown into orbit. (She had dug herself out most of the way by this point.)

0_o 0_0 ¯\(º_o)/¯

sure, why not! was it as awesome and squick enducing to play as reading this seems to imply? and if it's an original scenario, could you let me run it? this seems so out there that my dnd buddies would be wrong-footed (and they deserve it)

hymer
2013-01-10, 04:28 PM
"Could I get a bonus for grappling the enemy barbarian if I grapple him in an uncomfortable spot?"

The DM reply should be: "Are you telling me your character usually grapples so as to avoid making the target uncomfortable? In that case, I'll start giving you a -4 penalty to your grappling."

Chilingsworth
2013-01-10, 04:56 PM
The DM reply should be: "Are you telling me your character usually grapples so as to avoid making the target uncomfortable? In that case, I'll start giving you a -4 penalty to your grappling."

I approve this. :smallbiggrin:

not that my approval is worth jack...

Guizonde
2013-01-10, 05:08 PM
The DM reply should be: "Are you telling me your character usually grapples so as to avoid making the target uncomfortable? In that case, I'll start giving you a -4 penalty to your grappling."

does this mean that the penalty is always applied unless you say you aim for a groin attack? i mean, how are you suppose to armlock a guy without making him uncomfortable?

... so gonna have my dwarf cleric give a cleric of Iuze a swift kick in the jiggly bits. try and cast your spells now that you can't breathe!

hymer
2013-01-10, 05:14 PM
"It means whatever the four-letter word I want it to mean. I'm the DM! My word is fiat!"

Thajocoth
2013-01-10, 06:35 PM
0_o 0_0 ¯\(º_o)/¯

sure, why not! was it as awesome and squick enducing to play as reading this seems to imply? and if it's an original scenario, could you let me run it? this seems so out there that my dnd buddies would be wrong-footed (and they deserve it)Yes. And it is an original scenario. Sure. You can use it.

I had the initial entrance act as a bear cave, but treated the air as a fire trap, igniting & dealing a little damage to both sides if fire or lightning are used. (When triggered, it's damage was also dealt to the next encounter, which would've otherwise had the same trap.) One of the bears was slightly magically changed, I forget the specifics. Inside, after climbing up the large intestine (she was lying on her side), I used a lot of ooze creatures and things that resembled giant parasites.

I had a wind effect in the lungs that would push anyone who didn't save every other round towards or away from the entrance with it's own initiative of 0. (towards on rounds 2 & 6, away on rounds 4 & 8) I had flying parasites in there, so the wind worked to their advantage. The sword wound was traversable, giving a passage from the left lung to the heart.

When they were going near the entrance that has the baby, I had a bunch of aggressive chuuls in their way. The baby was statted out as a solo monster tethered to the wall (a modified stone giant or something), but wouldn't attack first. (Neither party attacked it.)

I've run this dungeon twice. The good party healed her & taught her baby "common". The evil party zombified her for Vecna, and while the city managed to kill her, her baby was a very powerful intelligent half-god, half-primordial undead under Vecna's control... The game ended right about there. Both parties used the ovaries to heal the heart. I statted them as a magical healing item with limited charges. They gave off enough power to repair her heart & the rest of the god-sword-wound, but could've been used for the equivalent of a bunch of potions or two raise deads instead.

After healing her, there was a skill challenge to get out of her body alive. Not too hard of one. I can't give you any stats, unfortunately, due to a hard drive crash, so you'll need to do some of your own customizing. (Besides, this was 4e & I don't know what edition you play.)

Change whatever details you want. Have fun! Let me know how it goes.

Guizonde
2013-01-10, 07:10 PM
ka-snip
thanks!
i intend to play a cross between 2nd ed and 3.5 with a few things from pathfinder... yeah, i don't know either. what level would you recommend?

Thajocoth
2013-01-10, 07:23 PM
thanks!
i intend to play a cross between 2nd ed and 3.5 with a few things from pathfinder... yeah, i don't know either. what level would you recommend?

In 4e, the world can very easily just kinda level with you if the DM wills it, so you can put anything at any level. I can't give you a good metric for this.

Count D20
2013-01-10, 11:59 PM
My party was facing a crystal scorpion in a dungeon called the fire temple.
After the dual wielding rogue found out that his short sword wasn't as effective as his mace, I started to wonder what my character would do.
I was playing as a cleric of sarenrae with domains of fire and healing using a longsword.
Because of the area's name, I didn't think that my firebolt power or fire spells would work. Instead of using magic stone and throwing them, I started scanning my inventory.
My character had the carpentry craft skill from her back story and the related toolkit. So my brilliant plan was to pull from my backpack a hammer.
Not a war-hammer ,a normal pounding-in-nails type hammer. And try to kill a six-foot scorpion made of gemstones.
The whole room looked a bit confused , the DM replying "what?".
He ruled it as 1d4. And I still used it.
The ruling was pretty fair, it was my decision to raid my toolkit for offense that was dumb.

The New Bruceski
2013-01-11, 02:49 AM
The DM reply should be: "Are you telling me your character usually grapples so as to avoid making the target uncomfortable? In that case, I'll start giving you a -4 penalty to your grappling."

The barbarian is a licensed chiropractor. His foes find themselves defeated but feeling much more limber.

I'd make a joke about a monk who has mastered the martial art of Shiatsu, but I'm pretty sure Darkwing Duck beat me to that one.

Meeki
2013-01-11, 11:22 AM
That question actually makes sense, for I can only assume that the player was attempting to calculate the monetary value of the golden ogre on the rather fallacious assumption that D&D magic obeys the law of conservation of mass.

It was still a strange question. The ogre was turned to gold by a basilisk on a demi-plane of lavishes and gluttony. The mass of the ogre actually increased dramatically, we just had to calculate by how much.

inexorabletruth
2013-01-13, 02:58 AM
When I was DM'ing my first campaign, I set up an invasion/stealth plot where the players received intelligence that they had the best shot of entering the magical city three ways:


Underground Sewers
Over the back wall during a changing of the guard
Through the front gate with one heck of a Disguise/Bluff check combo.


Responce:

Them: Can we dig under it?
Me: No, they'd see you. If they recognized you, they'd kill you on the spot.
Them: What if we started the tunnel before the brigde?
Me: What?
Them: They couldn't spot us from there, could they?
Me: No, but thats-
Them: We do that. What do I roll, and how long would it take?
Me: Let me get this straight. You want to dig a 16 mile tunnel that goes under a river, over underground waterways and under the wall?
Them: *Expectant looks.*
Me: Session adjourned. I've got some things to look up.

In the end, I can't remember how many years it would take to dig that tunnel, and how ridiculously high the DC stacked for building that tunnel so it wouldn't collapse, but I did technically find the rules on tunneling and gave each of them a copy of them, lest they accuse me of railroading. They took the underground sewers. To be fair... I was kind of railroading, but give me a break, it was my first campaign.

Guizonde
2013-01-13, 02:06 PM
When I was DM'ing my first campaign, I set up an invasion/stealth plot where the players received intelligence that they had the best shot of entering the magical city three ways:


Underground Sewers
Over the back wall during a changing of the guard
Through the front gate with one heck of a Disguise/Bluff check combo.


Responce:

Them: Can we dig under it?
Me: No, they'd see you. If they recognized you, they'd kill you on the spot.
Them: What if we started the tunnel before the brigde?
Me: What?
Them: They couldn't spot us from there, could they?
Me: No, but thats-
Them: We do that. What do I roll, and how long would it take?
Me: Let me get this straight. You want to dig a 16 mile tunnel that goes under a river, over underground waterways and under the wall?
Them: *Expectant looks.*
Me: Session adjourned. I've got some things to look up.

In the end, I can't remember how many years it would take to dig that tunnel, and how ridiculously high the DC stacked for building that tunnel so it wouldn't collapse, but I did technically find the rules on tunneling and gave each of them a copy of them, lest they accuse me of railroading. They took the underground sewers. To be fair... I was kind of railroading, but give me a break, it was my first campaign.


never underestimate the rule 0 of munchkinism: if it's silly enough, do it overkill.

yesterday i dm'd my first campaign. i had to ask my team if they knew what the DC of a toilet bowl was... after thinking about the double crit of the halfling barbarian and the natural 1 i rolled for seeing if the mook fell into unconsciousness, i overlapped the overkill into the toilet bowl. (27 dmg, so i'm guessing he broke it)
yes, the barbarian punished the porcelain. with a mook's face... still one of the weirdest questions i ever asked

DrachenGlied
2013-01-13, 04:06 PM
the first happened almost verbatim a few sessions ago, what did your dm rule?

Our DM was going to say that it would have been a reflex, BUT the halfling in our group decided that he wanted to aim himself at the the fighter. At which point it was decided that we are really bad at playing heroic people! :D

DrachenGlied
2013-01-13, 04:12 PM
Here's one from my game yesterday:

The Bard: "If we were to go to the hometown of our cleric, what kind of perception check would I need to find the cleric's mom?"
Me: "Well, it would be pretty damn high, seeing as how you've never seen her."
The Bard: "Okay, well if I DO manage to do that, what kind of check would I have to make to bang her, and what kind of check would I have to make to see if she's into anything dirty?"

Guizonde
2013-01-16, 09:03 PM
(hope it's not necro)

just got another one for a new recruit to our whfrp campaign:

is it more logical to play an ogre, or go all out and play a giant, knowing i want to play a pacifist bodyguard who'll go on to become a doctor?

after talking it out with the dm, we came to the conclusion that the new player would play an ogre defecting from decadence, since adding a giant into the campaign would severely complicate our adventuring.

Sith_Happens
2013-01-16, 10:12 PM
(hope it's not necro)

Necro = six weeks since last post. I think you're good.:smalltongue:

Guizonde
2013-01-16, 10:29 PM
Necro = six weeks since last post. I think you're good.:smalltongue:

it was 4 pages back, and i've been to forums where dropping from front page = resurrect and necro... must have missed it in the rules of the board

nedz
2013-01-17, 07:10 AM
it was 4 pages back, and i've been to forums where dropping from front page = resurrect and necro... must have missed it in the rules of the board

This forum can go through several pages in one day.

yougi
2013-01-19, 10:06 AM
I mused, aloud, "Well, now I have to figure out whether just putting it in your mouth counts..." I had to call a 5-minute break to accommodate all the giggling, because my players are all apparently twelve (despite being in their mid-twenties).

I eventually decided that, at least in this case, it did count. If you're curious, it was a fountain of water of gender-changing. Because I am apparently twelve (despite being in my mid-twenties).

To be fair, this is hilarious.



*does X suffer? if so, how much if quantifiable? (dm screamed at the pc's face. not an exact figure, but we gathered it hurt)


So doing this next time somebody asks.


The DM reply should be: "Are you telling me your character usually grapples so as to avoid making the target uncomfortable? In that case, I'll start giving you a -4 penalty to your grappling."

Awesome.

This being said, weird questions I got/asked:

- There are 4 PCs: a human, an elf, and two dwarves. "Can we all attack the giant at the same time in melee?" (Not as weird as just plain stupid, but still.)

- "How long is a dragon's gestation time? What if she's pregnant with a half-dragon?"

- "If my Flesh Golem looks at a medusa, would he become a Stone Golem?" "No" "Okay... what if he looks at a basilisk?"

- Note: 1E polymorph spells have the creature keep their HP from their base forms, i.e. a 60 HP giant polymorphed into an ant would still have 60 HP. So in 1E: "If I send this mouse into this Dire Wolf paddock, and polymorph it into an Umber Hulk to confuse the wolves and force them to attack one another, would that be considered "aggressive action" and break my invisibility since she's sure to die?"

- "How much wood is the giant's fort made of?"

- "What does the Lizardmen's language sound like?" (in 1E, Lizardfolk is a language)

Guizonde
2013-01-20, 11:38 AM
here's a derpy one i asked my dm earlier:

*"is the geneva convention applicable in greyhawk? no? does that mean i can torture the barkeep who ripped us off?" the answer, predictably, was no. funny, that.

i also asked why my lizard poisoner in whfrp couldn't learn how to make gunpowder. apparently, "lead poisoning" does not count as "poisonmaking". (i already knew the answer, but the pun was too awesome not to use) for the same reason, i can't learn how to use firearms (being a chameleon skink, we ruled it's tough to go against divine-genetic programming)

BootStrapTommy
2013-01-20, 09:12 PM
"If I made a plane and sent my kobold followers and cohorts to it, kidnapped large numbers of female kobolds and send them there, then give them tons of ring gates, can I have a kobold society whose sole purpose is to cast spells through ring gates as my command? Or to sew into my clothing and always watch my back?" (If you can find the money for that.)

"Can I put ring gates on the cleric's tower shields?" (Sure, why not?)

"How much damage does a castle do when wielded as an improvised greatclub?" (6d8)

"This ballista counts as a light crossbow, right?" (Yes)

"Aren't my arrows technically improvised javelins?" (No, they're actually better.)

"So if I cast magic missile on the darkness, will it become vashta nerada?" (yes, I hate you)

"How much damage would a mountain plate clad dwarf do as a thrown weapon." (2d8, he's a large greatclub.)

"Since I'm technically wielding a gargantuan bastard sword, don't I get 30ft reach?" (Technically, yes. But no.)

"Since he is technically wielding a gargantuan bastard sword, can he even swing it in this cave?" (Technically, yes. But no.)

"If I found out who its maker was, would it make my sword no longer a bastard?" (Yes, it becomes a longsword.)

"Can I use prestidigitation to pull the werewolf out of my hat?" (No.)

"Can I use prestidigitation to saw the orc in half?" (Yes, but only if he cooperates.)

"Can I use prestidigitation to make the ranger disappear?" (No.)

"If I used prestidigitation to pull a rabbit out of a hat, how much damage would the rabbit do as a throw weapon?" (Yes, 1d3)

yougi
2013-01-20, 09:15 PM
Today, I had quite a few in quick succession:

"Can I teleport on a moving, flying, living target?"

"Can I spiderclimb to the dragon, or does it have to be an inanimate surgace?"

"Since I'm glued to the dragon [from spiderclimb], and he's upside down, will he fall ON me when he dies?"

"How much damage does an adult dragon falling 80' on me deals?"