Most absurd superhero?

[Wardog]

There are a lot of really stupid superpowers (http://superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&id=36&Itemid=38)(particular among minor villains).

But to my mind (and excluding one-off joke characters, like all the (http://superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&catid=36%3Astupor-powers-index&id=1317%3Aknow-whats-a-better-name-than-qarm-fall-off-boyq-anything&Itemid=38) would-be members (http://superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&catid=36%3Astupor-powers-index&id=1308%3Abarber-boy&Itemid=38) of the Legion of Superheroes (http://superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&catid=36%3Astupor-powers-index&id=761%3Atwo-heads-may-be-better-than-one-but-technically-you-only-have-two-faces&Itemid=38)) the most totaly but for me, the most totaly insane, impossible to take seriously, what-were-they-smoking-when-they-came-up-with-that-idea superhero has got to be: B'wana Beast, with "the power to combine animals".

Can anyone think of anyone worse? (We should probably restrict it to ones intended to be taken seriously as characters, not deliberate jokes/parodies, advertising mascots, or propoganda).

[Friv]

I would go with the wonders of Doc Samson (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doc_Samson), the man who was a super-powered badass as long as no one cut his luxurious, gamma-irradiated hair.

(Apparently at some point they removed that weakness, but that's kind of a shame because it was freaking hilarious and also now his superhero name is totally meaningless.)

[Scowling Dragon]

Hat man. The man who gets the powers of whatever hat he wears. I don't remember where its from, but its a long distant memory of mine.

[Traab]

The Question? Im sure I am missing a lot, but from what I have gathered, his entire "superpower" is being able to find conspiracies in the most obscure of places, and making connections as fast as batman.

[Scowling Dragon]

Nah. He is just a fun nutter. Its not a superpower as much as it his his character.

[Dscherro]

The Black Condor (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Condor) had the ability to fly because he was raised by condors. In Mongolia.
But it gets worse than that. Just look at Arm Fall Off Boy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arm_Fall_Off_Boy): his ony power was removing his arms to use them as clubs.

[Caesar]

Superman, hands down. Not only is he an unforgivable Mary Sue, but his list of retarded super powers is almost endless, they just write something new in every week. Even in the modern versions where they try to clean him up some, he just gets all his powers balled up into "god". Its ridiculous.

[Dienekes]

Superman, hands down. Not only is he an unforgivable Mary Sue, but his list of retarded super powers is almost endless, they just write something new in every week. Even in the modern versions where they try to clean him up some, he just gets all his powers balled up into "god". Its ridiculous.

While I will be the first one to go saying that Supes needs to have his abilities toned down a lot, this isn't remotely true outside of the Silver Age, and maybe All-Star Superman.

In any case, most absurd that I remember, Flannelman, the guys from Mystery Men. That kid whose bodies development is stuck in time so while he can theoretically never get killed, he's stuck as a fat, weak, 13 year old for all eternity, and nothing he does can change that. The Dogwelder, fights crime by welding dogs to villains faces, I'm not sure if that's a superpower or just a sociopath though. There was one guy who was stuck being a corpse, not a walking corpse, but to actually have his consciousness stuck in a random decaying body.

As for the Question. No he has no superpowers other than being unbelievably awesome (or depending on the writer a lunatic spouting whatever philosophical garbage the writer happens to agree with. But personally I prefer the unbelievably awesome version of the character).

[Dscherro]

There was one guy who was stuck being a corpse, not a walking corpse, but to actually have his consciousness stuck in a random decaying body.
What was a typical plot for this comic?:smallconfused:

[DigoDragon]

Squirrel Girl? She tends to get used in the most comical situations just for pure parody.

[Soras Teva Gee]

Well not normally Cosmic Boy had a turn as easily the most absurd superhero in true Legion fashion:

http://mamimomikuto.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/cosmic_boy_1.jpg

Yes this is a real costume.

No gouging your eyes out won't help you saw it, you can't UN-see it

Also not a hero but an honorably mention for Stilt-Man (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stilt-Man). Who is about what you'd imagine.

[Aotrs Commander]

Well, while not a hero, as such (well, completely the opposite), surely we must mention Snowflame, from the New Men (or NuMen? I dunno)? Who got his superpowers for cocaine (and who has been immortalised by Atop the Forth Wall for not only being utterly ridiculous but hammy enough to nearly be on a par with Adam West Batman villains, or the silver age at it's best...!)

[Tengu_temp]

Well not normally Cosmic Boy had a turn as easily the most absurd superhero in true Legion fashion:

http://mamimomikuto.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/cosmic_boy_1.jpg

Yes this is a real costume.

No gouging your eyes out won't help you saw it, you can't UN-see it

Oh yeah, this guy. The funny thing is, that outfit would be completely normal for a female superheroine. Which just shows how ridiculous and impractical the outfits for female comic book characters are.

[Dienekes]

What was a typical plot for this comic?:smallconfused:

It was just an aside for a comic I read a long time ago. I think it was a parody-ish of X-Men emphasizing how the powers given are random and many are detrimental. But it's been a long time since I've read it, I'm not sure how much of the above is accurate, but I do remember Dead-Man.

[Ravens_cry]

Well not normally Cosmic Boy had a turn as easily the most absurd superhero in true Legion fashion:

http://mamimomikuto.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/cosmic_boy_1.jpg

Yes this is a real costume.

No gouging your eyes out won't help you saw it, you can't UN-see it

Carl Sagan in a Corset!:smalleek:
Actually, that's exactly what that looks like.
***
Any time I see a female superhero in heels that would make an ecdysiast cry, it makes me want to cry.

[Traab]

Well not normally Cosmic Boy had a turn as easily the most absurd superhero in true Legion fashion:

http://mamimomikuto.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/cosmic_boy_1.jpg

Yes this is a real costume.

No gouging your eyes out won't help you saw it, you can't UN-see it

Also not a hero but an honorably mention for Stilt-Man (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stilt-Man). Who is about what you'd imagine.

Cant help but imagine this after seeing that picture. Sexy! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc80tFJpTuo)

[Radar]

Cant help but imagine this after seeing that picture. Sexy! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc80tFJpTuo)
The difference being that Tim Curry can pull of that outfit.

[Soras Teva Gee]

Cant help but imagine this after seeing that picture. Sexy! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc80tFJpTuo)

Well its off topic but since you brought it up (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PHJEEbDbRs).... Its off topic because its not absurd, not because Emporio Ivankov isn't a superhero. Its just One Piece.

[Dr.Epic]

Do anime characters count? And for that matter, what about Axe Cop?

[Lord Raziere]

There was one villain-- I forget the name, alas-- whose costume was a big yellow garbage sheet covered in question marks. Her superpower was pretty much the ability to use any superpower never thought of.

but….if you think of power to use…..you can't use it anymore….

[Soras Teva Gee]

There was one villain-- I forget the name, alas-- whose costume was a big yellow garbage sheet covered in question marks. Her superpower was pretty much the ability to use any superpower never thought of.


but….if you think of power to use…..you can't use it anymore….

Someone tell Grant Morrison, he'll write her into a book and have her unleash an unthinkable eldritch abomination upon the world.

We as humans literally cannot conceive of the horror that would be unleashed.

[Storm Vermin]

Someone tell Grant Morrison, he'll write her into a book and have her unleash an unthinkable eldritch abomination upon the world.

We as humans literally cannot conceive of the horror that would be unleashed.

You're thinking of the Quiz (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brotherhood_of_Dada#The_Quiz).

And Grant Morrison already knows. Since he, you know, created her.

[Sith_Happens]

but….if you think of power to use…..you can't use it anymore….

Yeah, the "every power you've never thought of" power seems cool, until you realize how easily you could be defeated by, oh, say, a forum thread.

[Lupus753]

Imagine an African woman, who is a Caucasian with long, blonde hair for some reason. When the jungle is threatened (usually by some poachers), her face becomes a skull. She keeps her blonde hair for some reason. Her skin seems to become grey, as drawing a skeleton would be too taxing on the terrible author.

In this form, she is now essentially omnipotent. She uses this omnipotence to find a circuitous path to beating the bad guys who don't have any powers whatsoever. During the last page of her stories, she decides to subject the villains to absurdly macabre yet creative punishments that make no sense.

Fantomah is incredibly weird. It's terrible in every way, but it's far less fun than an Ed Wood film. She is, unbelievably, probably the first female superhero. She was also used in Hack Slash, an indie action girl/porn comic.

Maybe I should no have informed you of this all.

[Metahuman1]

Do anime characters count? And for that matter, what about Axe Cop?

If anime characters count, Witch Hunter Robin, Episode 1 bad guy.

He freaking TRIPS people! Any FIVE YEAR OLD can do that! God, Gym class at villain school must have REALLY sucked for that guy.

[supermonkeyjoe]

I'd say Marvel comics the Beyonder was pretty absurd, I mean this guy was like a bad self-insert fanfic, he was literally an omnipotent being from another dimension, or a parallel reality with a consciousness, or a mutated inhuman depending on which random backstory you went with.

This guy could literally do whatever he wanted, he decided he wanted a bunch of marvel characters to fight for his amusement so just plucked them from various places in the universe and created a planet for them to fight on. One of them was Galactus, yes that galactus.

He once decided he wanted to be a superhero, but had no concept of actually being a human being, simple things like what's edible and what's not, why mind-controlling the entire planet is a bad idea, yes that's everyone on the planet, professor X, magneto in his mind-control-immune helmet, everyone.

The Beyonder was essentially a child playing with toys but in his imagination, and that is why he is the most absurd superhero, and one of my favourite characters :smallbiggrin:

[smuchmuch]

I would go with the wonders of Doc Samson (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doc_Samson), the man who was a super-powered badass as long as no one cut his luxurious, gamma-irradiated hair.

(Well it's not like they came up with that particular idea in the first place.)


You're thinking of the Quiz (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brotherhood_of_Dada#The_Quiz).

And Grant Morrison already knows. Since he, you know, created her.

*Watch the article*
... The Brotherhood of Dada ?
Bwahahaha, okay that villain makes a lot more sense in that context. :smallbiggrin:

Also,on the subject, wasn't there a batman villain who was 'Polka dot man' ?

[Dr.Epic]

I'm still going with Axe Cop for the most absurd superheroes:
http://www.destroythecyb.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/axe_cop_sockarang.jpeg

[OracleofWuffing]

http://imageshack.us/a/img24/7918/jello.gif

I'm pretty certain I still have this comic book somewhere.

[Yora]

Bein uneducated, I would say Superman. He's just rediculous.

[Giggling Ghast]

The problem with this thread is that people have wildly varying definitions of the term "absurd."

I nominate Howard the Duck.

[Forum Explorer]

If anime characters count, Witch Hunter Robin, Episode 1 bad guy.

He freaking TRIPS people! Any FIVE YEAR OLD can do that! God, Gym class at villain school must have REALLY sucked for that guy.

He's the bane of 80 year olds everywhere! :smallbiggrin:

[Friv]

The problem with this thread is that people have wildly varying definitions of the term "absurd."

I nominate Howard the Duck.

I think Howard is vetoed by virtue of being a deliberate joke, which the OP said was too easy. He's not actually a serious superhero (or rather, someone who attempts to be a serious superhero) is he?

[Starbuck_II]

How would Collateral Damage Man be guaged? Sure he can destroy all most any enemy, but he also wrecks the city.

[Giggling Ghast]

I think Howard is vetoed by virtue of being a deliberate joke, which the OP said was too easy. He's not actually a serious superhero (or rather, someone who attempts to be a serious superhero) is he?

Admittedly, he's a joke superhero and most of the villains he faces are jokes as well, but he has saved the world a few times.

[Raimun]

Rubber arm man. (http://www.explosm.net/comics/67/)

And Seizure man. (http://www.explosm.net/comics/190/)

Though they did "defeat" Firework man together...

[Dscherro]

It was just an aside for a comic I read a long time ago. I think it was a parody-ish of X-Men emphasizing how the powers given are random and many are detrimental. But it's been a long time since I've read it, I'm not sure how much of the above is accurate, but I do remember Dead-Man.
Seems to be quite obscure, the only Dead-Man I could ind was the DC-ghost and a Marvel parody of said ghost.

And from a Cracked article I just remembered: The Eye (http://www.cracked.com/article_19795_6-great-old-timey-comics-traumatizing-kids.html). I just love the speeches this thing gives.
The list also has Fantomah.

[Ravens_cry]

I think Howard is vetoed by virtue of being a deliberate joke, which the OP said was too easy. He's not actually a serious superhero (or rather, someone who attempts to be a serious superhero) is he?
Howard the Duck is actually pretty fun to read. That the movie sucked should be no indictment of the actual comic.

[Maxios]

I'd say Marvel comics the Beyonder was pretty absurd, I mean this guy was like a bad self-insert fanfic, he was literally an omnipotent being from another dimension, or a parallel reality with a consciousness, or a mutated inhuman depending on which random backstory you went with.

This guy could literally do whatever he wanted, he decided he wanted a bunch of marvel characters to fight for his amusement so just plucked them from various places in the universe and created a planet for them to fight on. One of them was Galactus, yes that galactus.

He once decided he wanted to be a superhero, but had no concept of actually being a human being, simple things like what's edible and what's not, why mind-controlling the entire planet is a bad idea, yes that's everyone on the planet, professor X, magneto in his mind-control-immune helmet, everyone.

The Beyonder was essentially a child playing with toys but in his imagination, and that is why he is the most absurd superhero, and one of my favourite characters :smallbiggrin:

As I recall, the first Secret Wars arc was created to help promote a line of actoin figures. So the whole "plucking characters to fight on a planet he made from a destroyed Galaxy" thing is kinda forgivable :smalltongue:.

[Soras Teva Gee]

You're thinking of the Quiz (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brotherhood_of_Dada#The_Quiz).

And Grant Morrison already knows. Since he, you know, created her.

I'd say I was surprised.

But I'm not.


I'd say Marvel comics the Beyonder was pretty absurd, I mean this guy was like a bad self-insert fanfic, he was literally an omnipotent being from another dimension, or a parallel reality with a consciousness, or a mutated inhuman depending on which random backstory you went with.

Godlike power is perhaps harder to be well written, but its certainly common enough to hardly be absurd.

Heck I heard once Galactus was begun by Kirby with the idea "what if the FF fight God" which suddenly makes those Heralds seem strangely appropriate.

[Aotrs Commander]

And from a Cracked article I just remembered: The Eye (http://www.cracked.com/article_19795_6-great-old-timey-comics-traumatizing-kids.html). I just love the speeches this thing gives.

I like this Eye and would subscribe to his newsletter...

[Axolotl]

There was one villain-- I forget the name, alas-- whose costume was a big yellow garbage sheet covered in question marks. Her superpower was pretty much the ability to use any superpower never thought of.
If we're allowing Grant Morrison characters then I'd have to go with Flex Mentallo, I mean he was able to turn the Pentagon into a circle just by flexing his muscles.

Or Danny the Street, or the Beard Hunter, or any of the Doom Force characters.

Man I miss Doom Patrol.

[Dr.Epic]

Okay, last time I'm going to say this... (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDUhl4PQ1J4)

[Cen]

Two guys from 'Rising Stars' come to my mind:

Peter - micro-shield protecting him from any and all injuries making him invulnerable, but taking away all of his senses apart from sight and taste. Yup, his power made him nigh immortal (no super strength, agility or anyrhing like that, he just couldn't suffer any injury) but the only thing he could ever feel was food. Which left him terribly obesse

and Joshua /Sanctuary/- with his power of genderchanging.

[Dr.Epic]

and Joshua /Sanctuary/- with his power of genderchanging.

Hate to tell you this, but that power is (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ranma_%C2%BD) not that uncommon. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kampfer)

[Ravens_cry]

Um, since a lot of taste is actually smell, that'd actually put me off a lot of food to be honest. I know when I have a really, really bad cold how a lack of sense of scents can alter 'taste'.
Edit: I'd pick gender changing as a power, assuming it was at will or at least easily done.

[Cen]

Hate to tell you this, but that power is (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ranma_%C2%BD) not that uncommon. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kampfer)
Oh, I know. It's just stupid
and regarding Axe Cop - he was created as a parody, and OP posted we should refrain from parodies, as they are meant to be ridicullous



Um, since a lot of taste is actually smell, that'd actually put me off a lot of food to be honest. I know when I have a really, really bad cold how a lack of sense of scents can alter 'taste'.
that is true, yet he had nothing to compare it to, since powers in RS manifested in children around 6 years old, and comic starts when they are around 20

[Dr.Epic]

Oh, I know. It's just stupid
and regarding Axe Cop - he was created as a parody, and OP posted we should refrain from parodies, as they are meant to be ridicullous

Axe Cop, a parody? Yeah, okay. Next you'll be telling me that Munchkin (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munchkin_%28card_game%29) is a parody, and Birdemic was meant to be taken seriously.

[Dienekes]

Oh I forgot a villain who has the power to control dairy. It's absurd, but he made it work.

[Logic]

Axe Cop is not intentionally a parody. It was written by a 5 year old at the series start (he is now 8) and drawn by his adult brother.

[Dr.Epic]

Oh I forgot a villain who has the power to control dairy. It's absurd, but he made it work.

Captain Ginyu?:smallconfused:

:smallamused:
:smallwink:

[Avilan the Grey]

Also,on the subject, wasn't there a batman villain who was 'Polka dot man' ?

There were a number of TRULY corny Batman villains. Some have even had several remakes and still been corny (and on some odd occasions the remake has worked and the villain has gone from corny to truly creepy).

I am not familiar with Polka Dot Man, but I do know about Calendar Man, for example (he could only commit crimes on specific dates, AFAIR).

[king korath]

Captain Ginyu?:smallconfused:

:smallamused:
:smallwink:

The guy who controlled milk products was a villain on the show misfits.
He kills the entire main cast but: the immortal, who he left a vegetable, and the one who was lactose intolerant. He is only stopped with the use of time travel (the ultimate game breaker)

[Wardog]

Axe Cop is not intentionally a parody. It was written by a 5 year old at the series start (he is now 8) and drawn by his adult brother.

Now you mention that, it reminds me in many ways of a superhero my brother invented and wrote some stories/comics about at about that age. In particular theyway it flits between whimsy, and excessive, brutal violence.

[Man on Fire]

Superman, hands down. Not only is he an unforgivable Mary Sue, but his list of retarded super powers is almost endless, they just write something new in every week. Even in the modern versions where they try to clean him up some, he just gets all his powers balled up into "god". Its ridiculous.

And it's not true since 1986. Your sources are 17 years behind everybody else.


but….if you think of power to use…..you can't use it anymore….

Her power literaly was "Power to has any power you haven't thought of". Fight with her was done through calling names of powers and depriving her from them. But it had to be done by somebody else, because Rebis had defeated Rebis by imprisoning his ghost in a jar and when he had fallen unconcious, trying to guess what power this is, she named it herself ("Power to create escapeproof spirit jars") without dismissing the jar.

And speaking of Doom Patrol, I shall now win this thread.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Codepiece (http://www.comicvine.com/codpiece/29-49255/)


She was also used in Hack Slash, an indie action girl/porn comic.

Hack/lash is not porn. it has ridiculous amounts of fanservice but is not porn.

[The Glyphstone]

I'm still going with Axe Cop for the most absurd superheroes:
http://www.destroythecyb.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/axe_cop_sockarang.jpeg

I wonder if Ethan was playing God of War before he drew that page, because Sockarang kinda looks like Kratos with sock arms.

[Traab]

And it's not true since 1986. Your sources are 17 years behind everybody else.

Didnt he recently bench press the equivalent of earth for 5 days straight with no exposure to sunlight? Do you really think that counts as less than god level strength?

[Fan]

Bein uneducated, I would say Superman. He's just rediculous.

Pure power wise? These (http://www.killermovies.com/forums/f98/t463356.html) guys (http://www.killermovies.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=477644&pagenumber=4http://www.killermovies.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=477644&pagenumber=4) and girls (http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120618095324/sailormoon/images/5/54/Sailor_Cosmos_color.jpg) all beat him off hand.

In fact, I'd say Sailor Moon could solo both Supes and Goku at the same time as Neo Queen Serenity from the end of the series.

If you think Superman's the highest echelon of power, you haven't explored enough media.

Lucifer's original purpose was as "God's Lamplighter" and he has the canonical ability to CREATE STARS on top of having physical abilities superior to those of Superman, and is a reality alteration expert only paralled by the true Omnipotence of the Source. Solar the man of Atom creates and uncreates realities in fits of anger with the ease of a child lifting a toy. Neo Queen Serenity can freely grant life, and death while also possessing the power of every Sailor Scout to ever exist, including Sailor Saturn who dropped the Silence Glaive that blew up Earth in manga. While also being FAR more massively FTL than Superman or Goku.

Hell, read Saint Seiya, Hades at one point walks into a Galaxy and blows it up.

Dark Schnieder would also like a word, as would TTGL, as would Getter Emperor, as would Kidou Senshi Demonbane.

But my nomination, while not a superhero, happens to be my favorite thing in comics.

Snow Flame (http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Snowflame_(New_Earth)), his power? Cocaine.

[Man on Fire]

Didnt he recently bench press the equivalent of earth for 5 days straight with no exposure to sunlight? Do you really think that counts as less than god level strength?

What comics was that? I refuse to belive that without sources. Especially considering that all Superman fans are complaining how reboot has made him even weaker than before.

[Fan]

What comics was that? I refuse to belive that without sources. Especially considering that all Superman fans are complaining how reboot has made him even weaker than before.


http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/12/126582/2663768-sm_13_1.jpg


Boom, Superman 13, happens again in comic. He's underground benchpressing a weight set up by a Super Genius Omniologist.

Not only does he do it, but he does it effortlessly, only sweating a single drop of sweat after the 5th day of doing it.

[Traab]

http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/12/126582/2663768-sm_13_1.jpg


Boom, Superman 13, happens again in comic. He's underground benchpressing a weight set up by a Super Genius Omniologist.

Not only does he do it, but he does it effortlessly, only sweating a single drop of sweat after the 5th day of doing it.

I couldnt lift my own ARMS for 5 days straight. If that omniologist or whatever he is was able to put the weight of the entire solar system on that scale, superman might have to take a break after day 4. You know, to drink a glass of water, maybe flex a bit of stiffness out. Then right back to bench pressing the solar system.

[Fan]

I couldnt lift my own ARMS for 5 days straight. If that omniologist or whatever he is was able to put the weight of the entire solar system on that scale, superman might have to take a break after day 4. You know, to drink a glass of water, maybe flex a bit of stiffness out. Then right back to bench pressing the solar system.

That falls into the realms of a no limits fallacy, it's implied that he can do more, but never explained how much more so we usually err on the side of caution and go with the lower end.

Just like my earlier speed figure (Provided by Batman) was him saying that Clark can go at LEAST 19 Billion miles per hour, or roughly 18 times the speed of light.

Notice he says, AT LEAST, it could be more, but in this fashion we err on the side of caution and because of these statements he essentially wins ties.

It's not bias, it's numbers and feats. Whether people here agree on these feats is hotly debated, but again, my own opinion is that anyone who disagrees with a correctly done equation is wrong.

[Traab]

That falls into the realms of a no limits fallacy, it's implied that he can do more, but never explained how much more so we usually err on the side of caution and go with the lower end.

Just like my earlier speed figure (Provided by Batman) was him saying that Clark can go at LEAST 19 Billion miles per hour, or roughly 18 times the speed of light.

Notice he says, AT LEAST, it could be more, but in this fashion we err on the side of caution and because of these statements he essentially wins ties.

It's not bias, it's numbers and feats. Whether people here agree on these feats is hotly debated, but again, my own opinion is that anyone who disagrees with a correctly done equation is wrong.

Its true. Its hard to figure out a top range when he can literally never fail to pull off some sort of feat. And the worst part is, we are unlikely to ever see a true hard cap on a super heroes potential power levels, its just something that is rarely ever done in comics without said limits being broken in the end for whatever reason they come up with. We can guesstimate. I mean, he literally has an easier time lifting a planet than a human has lifting his own arms. So clearly that is nowhere NEAR his limit. But like you said, we cant put a top scale on it, because its like me picking up a napkin and you trying to use that to determine how much weight I can dead lift. Its just not enough information. You know, if he had STOPPED lifting that weight due to exhaustion, it might have given us a reference point. "Ok, he did 56,498,136 reps of the weight of planet earth in 5 days time before he had to stop, that means he lifted a total of x amount of pounds, carry the 4, thats OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAND!" Sorry, couldnt help myself. But you get the point. It wasnt enough to even make him show a sign of actual strain, so as a measuring bar, it was useless beyond establishing, "way more physically strong than anyone should ever need to be."

[The Glyphstone]

Can we please not turn this thread into yet another argument about Superman?

[super dark33]

I'm sure that the real absurd superheroes would be the racist/NSFW based heroes.

[Traab]

Can we please not turn this thread into yet another argument about Superman?

Well honestly, that applies to a lot of heroes of various tiers. You rarely see a specific limit placed on their abilities. Its always left vague at best. Even when they DO show us a scenario where a heroes limits are exposed, such as a guy thats just faster or stronger than the hero, there is always something, most often some silly little 110% type of effort, that lets the hero push past their "limit" and win.

[Friv]

Its true. Its hard to figure out a top range when he can literally never fail to pull off some sort of feat. And the worst part is, we are unlikely to ever see a true hard cap on a super heroes potential power levels, its just something that is rarely ever done in comics without said limits being broken in the end for whatever reason they come up with. We can guesstimate. I mean, he literally has an easier time lifting a planet than a human has lifting his own arms. So clearly that is nowhere NEAR his limit. But like you said, we cant put a top scale on it, because its like me picking up a napkin and you trying to use that to determine how much weight I can dead lift. Its just not enough information. You know, if he had STOPPED lifting that weight due to exhaustion, it might have given us a reference point. "Ok, he did 56,498,136 reps of the weight of planet earth in 5 days time before he had to stop, that means he lifted a total of x amount of pounds, carry the 4, thats OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAND!" Sorry, couldnt help myself. But you get the point. It wasnt enough to even make him show a sign of actual strain, so as a measuring bar, it was useless beyond establishing, "way more physically strong than anyone should ever need to be."
Pretty sure he's showing serious strain in that spoiler panel. I mean, yeah, he's all "is that all you got", but he's also got the whole "ellipses denote effort" thing going where he can't string two words together any more. So the comic seems to be implying that holding the weight of Planet Earth steady for five days is near the limits of his ability, if not actually at those limits.

[Dscherro]

I'm sure that the real absurd superheroes would be the racist/NSFW based heroes.
Those minority heroes are usually not absurd powerwise but in their ability to show that creators are often really bad at writing characters from another country/ethnicity/sexuality (I'm looking at you, Superfriends).

[Tengu_temp]

About Superman, Goku and other characters of that tier:

Absurd is not the same as absurdly powerful. Superman is absurdly powerful, but he doesn't make you go "what" or laugh at the ridiculousness of his abilities. Dog-Welder, on the other hand, is pretty much an ordinary human, yet I still consider him the most absurd hero I heard about.

[Cen]

Dog-Welder, on the other hand, is pretty much an ordinary human, yet I still consider him the most absurd hero I heard about.

Oh, but have you heard about Eye-scream (http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix/iscrm.htm)? He can change his body into ice cream! any flavour!

[Tengu_temp]

Still not as absurd. In general, I usually don't find the powers to turn into [something silly] or control [something silly] to be that absurd, just random. True absurdity appears random but actually has a lot of creative thought put into it.

[Avilan the Grey]

And speaking of Doom Patrol, I shall now win this thread.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Codepiece (http://www.comicvine.com/codpiece/29-49255/)

...What was the name of that X-men (I think it was) villain from the 90ies who had a whip that caused uncontrollable pleasure? I recall her last fight caused it to backlash (pun intended) and she was taken away moaning... a lot.

I can't explain how the heck that passed the Code, btw.

[Cracklord]

If you don't like it, don't read it. I don't read it anymore either, and I like Superman. Indeed, I’m not actually reading DC Comics any more – the combination of prostituting my favorite characters to try and make them 'badass' and in the process losing everything that made me like them, i.e the qualities that made them admirable and interesting in the first place, I detest the fetishism of moral grayishness and being a misunderstood loner, and the writing just being generally crap is enough for them not to get my comics dollars any more for the foreseeable future, because I pretty much own all the stuff I want from DC. Fortunately they were good enough to have produced pretty much all the stuff worth looking at years and years ago, so dodged a bullet there.

Phew, that's my rant out of the way. They seem to be getting shorter, so that's good news. Maybe I'll soon run out of things to complain about.

Now when discussing a stupid superhero, anyone can bring up Superman. They don't even have to have read comics. And I'll admit he's inconsistently portrayed, but there's too much in his story that's good to dismiss him altogether. Same with Batman, yes he pulls stuff out of his ass that has no business being up there that a character with powers would never get away with, and yes he comes of as bipolar jerk and an authors pet most of the time, but there's enough good stuff written about him over the years, that you can forgive the bad stuff. Mostly.

Now there's Penance, formerly Speedball, and there's the Red Hulk, both of whom can be made to be about the most stupid superhero character concepts. But the guy I'm talking about scoffs at such amateurs. He's not in the small fry. No, he's another order of being.

The Red Bee.

The Red Bee was a superhero (and I use this term in a manner it could only be used in the Silver Age) whose gimmick was that he had trained bees. Really. That was it. No gadgets, or guns that shoot bees, or bee suit, or anything else. Now I know what you are thinking, that it sounds awfully dismissive to mock this guy with his bees; after all, the idea of training bees is by itself rather impressive, in a low-key way, when you think about it.

However, the problem is that while controlling swarms of bees might make you a great behavioral scientist or perhaps an up-and-coming honey Fortune 500, as gimmicks to utilize in life or death situations against people with real weapons and the will to use them, it is not the most impressive trick one can get, is it? Certainly not one I'd choose to depend upon.

Now Google image the Classic Red Bee. Note the horizontally-striped tights, the pirate-shirt sleeves, and best of all the color scheme, pink and black and red. Wow. Say what you want for the man, he has courage, walking around dressed like that. And that is the beauty of The Red Bee. He’s just so completely and utterly insane that it’s almost admirable. This is a guy who decided to fight crime with bees. And lets face it, if a writer can come up with a reason that makes sense for the Red Bee’s existence, that would be like dying for the sins of man then rising from the dead after three days, you know?

Grant Morrison can revamp Batman all he likes, as can anyone else, but none of them dare to touch the Red Bee. And that says something on it's own.

QED

[Cen]

Still not as absurd. In general, I usually don't find the powers to turn into [something silly] or control [something silly] to be that absurd, just random. True absurdity appears random but actually has a lot of creative thought put into it.

I have to admit, that I'm not quite certain what you're trying to say. Could you perhaps clarify it with an example of what you consider absurd superpower?

[Dscherro]

However, the problem is that while controlling swarms of bees might make you a great behavioral scientist or perhaps an up-and-coming honey Fortune 500, as gimmicks to utilize in life or death situations against people with real weapons and the will to use them, it is not the most impressive trick one can get, is it? Certainly not one I'd choose to depend upon.QED

The Pain (www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlQ9zLkJhj4#t=1m39s) would like to have a word with you.
But honestly, controlling swarms of bees is utterly terrifying, one of the worst deaths you could give someone.

The Red Bee still sucks though. Judging from the few pictures I found he always sends only a single bee, named Michael, after enemies. Sometimes one or two more, so you could easily thwart him with bugspray or a fly swatter.

But if he would have fought like The Pain he would have been to brutal for silver age stuff, I presume.

[Man on Fire]

If you don't like it, don't read it.

How can we know if we won't llike it if we haven't read it? Would you rather preffer we complain about comics we didn't read?



I don't read it anymore either, and I like Superman. Indeed, I’m not actually reading DC Comics any more – the combination of prostituting my favorite characters to try and make them 'badass' and in the process losing everything that made me like them, i.e the qualities that made them admirable and interesting in the first place,

You forgot stupid costumes and sexism. And overload of pointless cameos especially if your name's Batman or John Constantine.


I detest the fetishism of moral grayishness and being a misunderstood loner,

Loner I'll give you, but true moral grayness if barerly presented in comics, it's always simplifications to make heroes good and bad guys evil, always.


and the writing just being generally crap is enough for them not to get my comics dollars any more for the foreseeable future, because I pretty much own all the stuff I want from DC. Fortunately they were good enough to have produced pretty much all the stuff worth looking at years and years ago, so dodged a bullet there.


I liked Sword & Sorcery...and they cancelled it.

[Starbuck_II]

Oh, but have you heard about Eye-scream (http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix/iscrm.htm)? He can change his body into ice cream! any flavour!

You didn't finish reading:
Eye-Scream had the superhuman mutant ability to turn into any flavor of ice cream he wishes. He could "melt" himself down with the assistance of his (I kid you not) unstable molecule refrigeration unit. This allowed him to ooze through barriers such as bars or underneath locked doors.
In theory, he may have been able to harden his body with his refrigeration unit, giving him increased durability. His ice cream body may have been resistant to many conventional forms of attack, as they would pass through him.

So you can't hurt him directly.
He had weakness though: Cold (too cold he gets stiff) and too hot he melts too much.

Codpiece did pretty good till she arrived: http://www.comicvine.com/coagula/29-51572/

Who is more absurd? I say Coagula.

[Tengu_temp]

I have to admit, that I'm not quite certain what you're trying to say. Could you perhaps clarify it with an example of what you consider absurd superpower?

What I'm saying is that the abilities to control something random or turn into something random are not absurd, because most of the time they're just "monkey cheese"-style randomness, lazy attempts at absurdity. I can turn into cottage cheese! Or control strawberry jam! Lolsorandom! This can be done right, but most of the time isn't.

No examples because it's late and I'm tired, and because that'd be missing the point. Absurdity is about being fresh and original, not following examples someone else already thought up. It's the difference between actual Monty Python and just repeating Monty Python jokes.

[Cracklord]

How can we know if we won't llike it if we haven't read it? Would you rather preffer we complain about comics we didn't read?

People have never let that stop them in the past. But I take your point, and it's well made.


You forgot stupid costumes and sexism. And overload of pointless cameos especially if your name's Batman or John Constantine.

No I did not. Believe me, I did not miss that. However, the sexism thing really pisses me off, it's puerile and pathetic, but I didn't bring it up as it would trigger a hell of a rant. And given that I loathe Batman and John Constantine, I didn't bring them up either.


Loner I'll give you, but true moral grayness if barerly presented in comics, it's always simplifications to make heroes good and bad guys evil, always.

True. Absolutely true. What I should have said is a sort of edginess they try to perpetuate that suggests moral grayishness, making the characters geerally unpleasant people while still squeaky clean on the Khama meter, but that would only have perpetuated the rant so I simplified.

And perhaps another reason why I hate the new face of DC so much. Because that, despite so much hatred for it among long established fans, it's gone ahead anyway. The case is rather clear - we didn't make a stand, and we're paying the price.

Dc has gone over to the enemy and yet it is the very souls and cash of comic readers is offered up like sacrificial lambs. If I truly wanted things to change I wouldn't just refuse to read the books, I'd keep buying previous trade paperbacks, and I'd get organised. I would make it clear to retailers and book representatives what I was doing. I would defiantly raise the middle finger to the new face of DC, and ask others to stand beside me until they understood that enough was enough.

But I have not. So perhaps I am part of the problem.



The Pain (www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlQ9zLkJhj4#t=1m39s) would like to have a word with you.
But honestly, controlling swarms of bees is utterly terrifying, one of the worst deaths you could give someone.

Sure. An inventive person with dubious morality and plenty of pragmatism could use his power to be feared and hated by criminals everywhere. But were he to be that sort of person who that sort of thing occurred to, he wouldn't be the Red Bee.

And furthermore, there was never any evidence that he did control the bees. It's never been stated for sure one way or the other. I just assume he did because…

Well why else?

[bbgenderless100]

There are a lot of really stupid superpowers (http://superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&id=36&Itemid=38)(particular among minor villains).

But to my mind (and excluding one-off joke characters, like all the (http://superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&catid=36%3Astupor-powers-index&id=1317%3Aknow-whats-a-better-name-than-qarm-fall-off-boyq-anything&Itemid=38) would-be members (http://superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&catid=36%3Astupor-powers-index&id=1308%3Abarber-boy&Itemid=38) of the Legion of Superheroes (http://superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&catid=36%3Astupor-powers-index&id=761%3Atwo-heads-may-be-better-than-one-but-technically-you-only-have-two-faces&Itemid=38)) the most totaly but for me, the most totaly insane, impossible to take seriously, what-were-they-smoking-when-they-came-up-with-that-idea superhero has got to be: B'wana Beast, with "the power to combine animals".

Can anyone think of anyone worse? (We should probably restrict it to ones intended to be taken seriously as characters, not deliberate jokes/parodies, advertising mascots, or propoganda).

The Hurricane from the WWF/WWE is one that comes to mind for those that know what the WWF/WWE is and who this is.

[Maxios]

The Hurricane from the WWF/WWE is one that comes to mind for those that know what the WWF/WWE is and who this is.

I remember him. He was that demonic biker guy, right?

[Lupus753]

Oh, but have you heard about Eye-scream (http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix/iscrm.htm)? He can change his body into ice cream! any flavour!

That's even better than the Martian Manhunter! One story has him create ice cream with his mind! Another has him stream gold with his hands! Another...

Okay, just read this: http://absorbascon.blogspot.com/2007/08/never-enough.html.

[Gnoman]

...What was the name of that X-men (I think it was) villain from the 90ies who had a whip that caused uncontrollable pleasure? I recall her last fight caused it to backlash (pun intended) and she was taken away moaning... a lot.

I can't explain how the heck that passed the Code, btw.

Probably because the Comics Code was already dead at that point.

[Avilan the Grey]

Probably because the Comics Code was already dead at that point.

You're right. But it is still an impressive thing to get under the radar.

As for other things... I, too, have stopped reading DC. And I have already stopped reading Marvel a long time ago.

I will take a look at DC again after the New 52 is over.

[Cracklord]

I will take a look at DC again after the New 52 is over.

I will probably await an apology. A simple 'sorry, we didn't think how offensive this was to all out loyal readers, won't happen again under this administration' would be all it would take.

Marvel might have to beg a bit more.

[Man on Fire]

I have suggestion for you two - start buying comics from independent publishers, being it Image, Dark Horse, Boom! studios, Dynamite Enterntainment, IDW or anybody else. Start buying those comics to send the message to big two what comics you really want, they sure have something up your tastes.

[Dscherro]

Sure. An inventive person with dubious morality and plenty of pragmatism could use his power to be feared and hated by criminals everywhere. But were he to be that sort of person who that sort of thing occurred to, he wouldn't be the Red Bee.

That's why he still sucks. He clearly has the wrong kind of power.
At least he was smart enough to not use bees that die after a single sting. Maybe all his bees are queens.


And furthermore, there was never any evidence that he did control the bees. It's never been stated for sure one way or the other. I just assume he did because…

Well why else?

They made doppelgangers of The Pain during the fight. They were clearly controlled (and some official supplementary material outright stated this).
Oh, and I just remembered that those things were actually hornets. Certainly more usefull than bees for attacking enemies.

[Fan]

People have never let that stop them in the past. But I take your point, and it's well made.



No I did not. Believe me, I did not miss that. However, the sexism thing really pisses me off, it's puerile and pathetic, but I didn't bring it up as it would trigger a hell of a rant. And given that I loathe Batman and John Constantine, I didn't bring them up either.



True. Absolutely true. What I should have said is a sort of edginess they try to perpetuate that suggests moral grayishness, making the characters geerally unpleasant people while still squeaky clean on the Khama meter, but that would only have perpetuated the rant so I simplified.

And perhaps another reason why I hate the new face of DC so much. Because that, despite so much hatred for it among long established fans, it's gone ahead anyway. The case is rather clear - we didn't make a stand, and we're paying the price.

Dc has gone over to the enemy and yet it is the very souls and cash of comic readers is offered up like sacrificial lambs. If I truly wanted things to change I wouldn't just refuse to read the books, I'd keep buying previous trade paperbacks, and I'd get organised. I would make it clear to retailers and book representatives what I was doing. I would defiantly raise the middle finger to the new face of DC, and ask others to stand beside me until they understood that enough was enough.

But I have not. So perhaps I am part of the problem.




Sure. An inventive person with dubious morality and plenty of pragmatism could use his power to be feared and hated by criminals everywhere. But were he to be that sort of person who that sort of thing occurred to, he wouldn't be the Red Bee.

And furthermore, there was never any evidence that he did control the bees. It's never been stated for sure one way or the other. I just assume he did because…

Well why else?

Did I mention I love you forever?

Seriously.

[snoopy13a]

The Boy-Wonder version of Robin is absurd. A little kid without any superpowers shouldn't be out fighting crime. I understand Robin probably appealed to the target audience of the time--boys--because they could identify with him. However, it is silly. And yes, it is almost as absurd for the X-Men to occasionally let little girls like Jubilee tag-along, but at least Jubilee had mutant powers.

Of course, when I was a kid, I liked both Jubilee and Robin. So, it makes sense from a marketing standpoint :smallsmile: .

[Lupus753]

It's not nearly as absurd as Bucky. A kid fighting crime is one thing, but a kid on the front lines of World War II? C'mon.

[Dienekes]

It's not nearly as absurd as Bucky. A kid fighting crime is one thing, but a kid on the front lines of World War II? C'mon.

They altered that slightly, in the current canon (I believe), it's said that he started fighting when he was 16, and it was not unheard of for kids that young (and sometimes younger), to lie about their age to get into the army.

Though the implication that he's being so blatant about it is a bit of a stretch.