Jack Bauer vs. John McLain

[MikelaC1]

With the return of the Die Hard franchise to the screen, I thought it would be fun to put up a thread of the two biggest terrorist fighters in a VS. thread, Jack Bauer vs. John McLain. Who would win?

[Hopeless]

With the return of the Die Hard franchise to the screen, I thought it would be fun to put up a thread of the two biggest terrorist fighters in a VS. thread, Jack Bauer vs. John McLain. Who would win?

It would be more likely Bauer vs McLain's son and his father just happens to be visiting... then they'd go after whoever Bauer is chasing... dear god just imagine the carnage...:smalleek:

[DiscipleofBob]

The villain's kidnapped someone's daughter, but no one can figure out who. John McClane and Jack Bauer start fighting until suddenly a payphone starts ringing. On the offhand chance it might be the kidnappers demanding a ransom, they simultaneously answer and listen in, where a low voice starts whispering calmly but seriously:

"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."

"Wrong number."

"... F***"

[Raimun]

John McClane.

Yippikaiyee Oedipus!

[Traab]

John McLane.

Yippikaiyee!

Mr Falcon.

[Morbis Meh]

The villain's kidnapped someone's daughter, but no one can figure out who. John McClane and Jack Bauer start fighting until suddenly a payphone starts ringing. On the offhand chance it might be the kidnappers demanding a ransom, they simultaneously answer and listen in, where a low voice starts whispering calmly but seriously:

"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."

"Wrong number."

"... F***"

Hehehe my thoughts exactly... who wins? Liam Nielson that's who (actually John McLane because I am a Bruce Willis fan all the way)

[Sgt. Cookie]

Off topic, but I'm not surprised there's a new film. After all, old habits...


I think Bauer would be able to outlast McLain, simply because Bauer has proven multiple times his lack of a sleep requirement. McLain never has to deal with more than, an hour or two of action at best. Bauer can go a hell of a lot longer.

[MikelaC1]

Off topic, but I'm not surprised there's a new film. After all, old habits...


I think Bauer would be able to outlast McLain, simply because Bauer has proven multiple times his lack of a sleep requirement. McLain never has to deal with more than, an hour or two of action at best. Bauer can go a hell of a lot longer.

But Bauer has never had to take the damage that John has endured...and John just keeps on going no matter what.

[Kato]

I'll have to admit I never saw more than an episode of 24 so I might be a bit biased when saying: John McLane, yippikayiee Schweinebacken! (Well, that's that the translators made of it... Kind of translates to pig cheeks but it sounds bad enough in German :smalltongue:)

[The Glyphstone]

Jack preps by making a pot of coffee to wake both of them up before their fight. Eventually McClane drinks enough coffee to require the bathroom, while Jack stays behind because he does not need to pee. The bomb Jack planted in the toilet takes out McClane.

[Killer Angel]

The bomb Jack planted in the toilet takes out McClane.

Nah. You'll only obtain a dirty and torn undershirt. :smallwink:

[John Cribati]

But... Aren't they on the same side? As in, the opposite side of the terrorists?

They should be working together, and maybe having a game of kill streaks, which Bauer wins because of technology.

[Radar]

Jack preps by making a pot of coffee to wake both of them up before their fight. Eventually McClane drinks enough coffee to require the bathroom, while Jack stays behind because he does not need to pee. The bomb Jack planted in the toilet takes out McClane.
Nope! He jumps out attached to a firehose like he did in the very first movie to escape an explosion, that took out an entire roof.

That's the thing he has: he keeps on going and complaining about his smoking habit.

[The Glyphstone]

Nope! He jumps out attached to a firehose like he did in the very first movie to escape an explosion, that took out an entire roof.

That's the thing he has: he keeps on going and complaining about his smoking habit.

Sure, but you only find that out after the commercial break. When it cuts to black, you think the bomb got him.

[Traab]

Sure, but you only find that out after the commercial break. When it cuts to black, you think the bomb got him.

Pfft, noone ever thinks that. They know it would have ended with the credits, not a commercial break if that was the case.

[Radar]

Pfft, noone ever thinks that. They know it would have ended with the credits, not a commercial break if that was the case.
And even then people would suspect a setup for a sequel or a miraculous come-back a few seasons later (if it was a TV series).

I guess heroes have the same ability as villains: if you can't inspect the body to confirm death, they are not dead (and sometimes not even then).

[MikelaC1]

And even then people would suspect a setup for a sequel or a miraculous come-back a few seasons later (if it was a TV series)

There was no silent clock. No silent clock = perfectly legal comeback.

[Mordar]

McClane. Eventually Jack would run out of bullets and after hours of punching him, pass out from exhaustion. Bruce...er, John McLane can absorb more punishment than any *team* of humans can dish out and keep spouting witticisims, earning the fan vote (and dollars), thereby guaranteeing victory. Jack and...um...the guy from Taken (can't think of the character's name) have plenty going for them, but not enough to carry the day.

If nothing else, consider the enemies defeated...McClane took out Alan Rickman and Jeremy Irons. Jack and <Liam> routed mooks (sure, in Jack's case a TON of mooks), but even then, McClane took out Al Leong, King of the Mooks!

- M

[king korath]

If McLane can get to jack fast then he wins, but Bauer has a stamina advantage. Unfortunately for Jack, McLane can take more punishment than a real human being. So John is gonna win.

[Giggling Ghast]

Here's the more pertinent question in my mind: if John McClane had information that Jack Bauer needed but won't talk, would Jack be able to torture the info out of him?

Methinks that would be one of those "unstoppable force vs. immovable object" situations.

[KillianHawkeye]

John McLane.

If you're going to correct someone, at least make sure you have your information right.

BTW, it's John McClane.

[Raimun]

If you're going to correct someone, at least make sure you have your information right.

BTW, it's John McClane.

D'oh! :smallamused:

[dps]

Sure, but you only find that out after the commercial break. When it cuts to black, you think the bomb got him.

See, though, this is the real reason that John wins. He's a movie hero, while Jack is merely a TV hero.

[LaZodiac]

Not to be a plebian, but who's Jack Bauer?

[Traab]

Guy from the TV show 24.

[Zaggab]

Okay, it was a long time since I watched 24, but I seem to remember Jack Bauer being tortured to death once (I think he's been dead about 3 times), got brough back to life by defibrillation using copper wires, killed his torturers within 1 minute, and then went on for like 12 more hours to save America.

So, he's pretty tough too.

(Although John McClane probably wouldn't have died in first place...)

[KillianHawkeye]

Okay, it was a long time since I watched 24, but I seem to remember Jack Bauer being tortured to death once (I think he's been dead about 3 times), got brough back to life by defibrillation using copper wires, killed his torturers within 1 minute, and then went on for like 12 more hours to save America.

So, he's pretty tough too.

(Although John McClane probably wouldn't have died in first place...)

John McClane doesn't get captured for long enough to be tortured.