Holy cow! What are the odds?!

[An Enemy Spy]

Guys! Guys! I just went on to a website and discovered that I'm the millionth visitor! And now all I have to do is give my credit card information to win a cash prize. I was just wondering, what should I do with the money?

[Grinner]

Install Ad-block? :smalltongue:

[PallElendro]

You could get an advanced membership to Microsoft Active Protection Service.

[Flame of Anor]

If you were the millionth visitor, then the odds must be one in a million!

That is to say, a sure thing. Which seems pretty likely, actually.

[Asta Kask]

I have some swampland lovely pasture I can sell you.

[The Succubus]

Obligatory XKCD strip:


http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/new_car.png

[Urist]

Did they also offer you a MASSIVE YACHT?

[Haruki-kun]

Awww, man, you're so lucky. I never get to be the one millionth visitor to any website. But I have come across a lot of hot singles in my area who insist on trying to meet me. And once I think I my have won an xBox.

[nedz]

I've lost track of how many times I've been the millionth visitor to various websites, often it's the same website I was the millionth visitor to the last time I was there, and the time before that too.

On a completely unrelated note, is anyone interested in buying this (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brooklyn_Bridge) bridge from me ?

[Drakeburn]

Guys! Guys! I just went on to a website and discovered that I'm the millionth visitor! And now all I have to do is give my credit card information to win a cash prize. I was just wondering, what should I do with the money?

Don't do it. It is very likely that it is a scam.

[Mutant Sheep]

Don't do it. It is very likely that it is a scam.

That is the joke, my friend.

[Crimmy]

Don't do it. It is very likely that it is a scam.

Someone here needs to learn the meaning of sarcasm.
Wonder who that is.

[Drakeburn]

Someone here needs to learn the meaning of sarcasm.
Wonder who that is.

Lol. With the internet, it is sort of hard to tell.

[Crimmy]

Lol. With the internet, it is sort of hard to tell.

In the wise words of Serpie: "That's what the sarcasm mark is for".

By the way, the sarcasm marks is this:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2a/Ironie-Larousse-1897-p329.png

[Temotei]

Don't do it. It is very likely that it is a scam.


Lol. With the internet, it is sort of hard to tell.

Darn. I thought you were joking with your first post and making everyone think you were serious for the lulz.

Oh well. :smalltongue:

[Killer Angel]

Guys! Guys! I just went on to a website and discovered that I'm the millionth visitor! And now all I have to do is give my credit card information to win a cash prize. I was just wondering, what should I do with the money?

Ohhh, what a coincidence! Me too!
I suppose there are a lot of websites out there... but who knows, maybe it was the same one. :smalltongue:

[GnomeFighter]

Guys! Guys! I just went on to a website and discovered that I'm the millionth visitor! And now all I have to do is give my credit card information to win a cash prize. I was just wondering, what should I do with the money?

Dear Mr An Sir,

How fortuitous nad lucky it is that I should happen upon you today for I have an unmissable Investment opportunity For your lucky win. First of all, let me introduce myself, I am Prince Sambal Ngeri of Nigeria. You may have heard of the recent death of my father and the large (£10 billion dollar) he has left to me. Unfortunatly this whole Fortune is currently held in trust and requires the payment of a small adminastrative fee to release. If you send me the SMALL sum of £10000.00 dollar and your Bank account details I will share with you the sum of 10% (£1billion Dollar) once we have processed the payment through your bank account.

My you be blessed in your life.

Prince Sambal Ngeri

[KuReshtin]

Dear Mr An Sir,

How fortuitous nad lucky it is that I should happen upon you today for I have an unmissable Investment opportunity For your lucky win. First of all, let me introduce myself, I am Prince Sambal Ngeri of Nigeria. You may have heard of the recent death of my father and the large (£10 billion dollar) he has left to me. Unfortunatly this whole Fortune is currently held in trust and requires the payment of a small adminastrative fee to release. If you send me the SMALL sum of £10000.00 dollar and your Bank account details I will share with you the sum of 10% (£1billion Dollar) once we have processed the payment through your bank account.

My you be blessed in your life.

Prince Sambal Ngeri

Seems legit. Where do I send my money?

Edit: Hang on a second. There's something fishy going on here.
Is this $10 billion Nigerian dollars, or US dollars or Canadian dollars?

[Castaras]

Why I think you should look into a holiday in Morocco where you can find hot single women. When you find these women aged e^-3.425 to 5+3i you can take a honeymoon on Alpha Centauri and have a Cruise in the Dust Basin on Proxima.

[Flame of Anor]

Seems legit. Where do I send my money?

Edit: Hang on a second. There's something fishy going on here.
Is this $10 billion Nigerian dollars, or US dollars or Canadian dollars?

It's $£€10 billion pieces of eight, obviously.

[Asta Kask]

Seems legit. Where do I send my money?

Edit: Hang on a second. There's something fishy going on here.
Is this $10 billion Nigerian dollars, or US dollars or Canadian dollars?

Zimbabwean.

[nedz]

http://i1287.photobucket.com/albums/a640/NedzNedz/GitP/Zimbabwe_100_trillion_2009_Obverse_zps62778021.jpg

Small change — Zimbabwe style

[Chess435]

I'm pretty sure they revalued their currency to get rid of the horribly large numbers now.

[akma]

Guys! Guys! I just went on to a website and discovered that I'm the millionth visitor! And now all I have to do is give my credit card information to win a cash prize. I was just wondering, what should I do with the money?

I hard about a great deal of a time share in Mexico!


Awww, man, you're so lucky. I never get to be the one millionth visitor to any website. But I have come across a lot of hot singles in my area who insist on trying to meet me. And once I think I my have won an xBox.

I`m not so lucky, all the time I see that women want me, but they are from far away Russia :smallfrown: (and once from china. If only local women would want me so bad...)

[nedz]

I'm pretty sure they revalued their currency to get rid of the horribly large numbers now.

They revalued in October 2005 at 1,000:1
Then again in August 2008, this time at 10,000,000,000:1 to the 2005 dollar.
In February 2009 they revalued for a third time at 1,000,000,000,000:1 to the 2008 dollar.
In April 2009 they abandoned their currency altogether.

[Caesar]

http://i1287.photobucket.com/albums/a640/NedzNedz/GitP/Zimbabwe_100_trillion_2009_Obverse_zps62778021.jpg

Small change — Zimbabwe style

Coming soon to an America near you!

[Douglas]

They revalued in October 2005 at 1,000:1
Then again in August 2008, this time at 10,000,000,000:1 to the 2005 dollar.
In February 2009 they revalued for a third time at 1,000,000,000,000:1 to the 2008 dollar.
In April 2009 they abandoned their currency altogether.
What, were they trying to finance the entire government with a printing press?

[nedz]

What, were they trying to finance the entire government with a printing press?

Basically yes.

Their plan failed when they could no longer afford to pay the German printing company.

[dehro]

what are the odds, you say? a million to one, I reckon.. but as any Discworld fan can tell you, those tend to crop up nine times out of ten :smallamused:

[Elemental]

In the wise words of Serpie: "That's what the sarcasm mark is for".

By the way, the sarcasm marks is this:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2a/Ironie-Larousse-1897-p329.png

STOP THE THREAD!

There are actually irony/sarcasm marks out there? Why did no one tell me!?

[The Succubus]

I need to learn about font files so I can edit in sarcasm punctuation. Or failing that just have a very teeny image I can use.

[nedz]

The trouble with fonts, is that you need to hack the server — or possibly the entire Internet. Whilst this is possible, I wouldn't recommend it.

Alternatively, just use Blue text like everyone else.

Ed: also
http://i1287.photobucket.com/albums/a640/NedzNedz/GitP/Irony_zpsad3c390a.jpg

[Asta Kask]

Looks like a boob.

[nedz]

That was unintentional, I was just trying to copy the character in the document. :smallredface:

However, whilst looking through the standard fonts, I did come across this character Ѡ :smallbiggrin:

[Asta Kask]

Don't worry. I can see boobs in almost anything.

[Flame of Anor]

Alternatively, just use Blue text like everyone else.

Considering that blue text is not available everywhere either, you could also just use the slash-s, like so:


Wow, it's just so easy to introduce new punctuation marks into general usage!

/s

[Ravens_cry]

This annoys some people I know, but I like using faux html tags to denote sarcasm. Some people may not be aware that bright blue denotes sarcasm, while saying things <sarcasm>like this</sarcasm> really drives the point home.
If you can't get that, <sarcasm> you must have a fun time reading the rest of my post.</sarcasm>.

[nedz]

Those are just basic XML tags, which are designed to make data easier to parse.

[Flame of Anor]

This annoys some people I know, but I like using faux html tags to denote sarcasm. Some people may not be aware that bright blue denotes sarcasm, while saying things <sarcasm>like this</sarcasm> really drives the point home.
If you can't get that, <sarcasm> you must have a fun time reading the rest of my post.</sarcasm>.

The slash-s is just a stripped-down version of that.

[Ravens_cry]

The slash-s is just a stripped-down version of that.
Stripped down, yes, but potentially more ambiguous.

[nedz]

Well I would understand /sarcasm, but I'm not sure about everyone else. I think it's quite common though, in this part of the internet anyway.

[The Extinguisher]

Notating sarcasm seems like it misses the point though.

Its like flashing lights shouting THIS IS A JOKE HAHA LAUGH NOW!

[Ravens_cry]

Notating sarcasm seems like it misses the point though.

Its like flashing lights shouting THIS IS A JOKE HAHA LAUGH NOW!
In the interests of clarity and given how tone of voice and other verbal and visual cues can not be conveyed through text alone, I think it is generally necessary nonetheless.
You might think some statements or positions are so perverse or abstruse that no one would make them in all apparent seriousness.
And you would be wrong in almost any case, if only for the joy of contradiction.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

I have had some things that were just far too ridiculous to be true at all taken seriously over text before, so.

[Flame of Anor]

Notating sarcasm seems like it misses the point though.

Its like flashing lights shouting THIS IS A JOKE HAHA LAUGH NOW!

Ah, yes, because no one ever took anything seriously on the Internet that was meant as a joke.

/s

[HairyGuy4]

Notating sarcasm seems like it misses the point though.

Its like flashing lights shouting THIS IS A JOKE HAHA LAUGH NOW!

A very good reason to not use sarcasm on the internet. Tone of voice is too important a factor in sarcasm, and the internet cannot currently convey that. Denoting it at least makes the questionable sarcasm clear, but as you said it waters it down like good liquor at a cheap bar.

[Douglas]

It is actually quite difficult to find a statement so extreme or bizarre that not even a single person in the entire world would actually mean it. With the advent of the Internet, people with such outre views can easily spread their messages much wider than before, and they are far more likely to do so than random sarcastic people. Thus, the extremity or bizarreness of a statement on the Internet is not reliable as an indicator of sarcasm.

[tommhans]

I dont know how i keep winning this visitor things! still havent gotten the money i am entitled to! :(

[Silverbit]

Yeah, sarcasm is hard to express through text. I saw a thread a while back that advocated green for sincerity. I approve of that.

[dehro]

sarcasm ---->:amused:

[The Extinguisher]

It is actually quite difficult to find a statement so extreme or bizarre that not even a single person in the entire world would actually mean it. With the advent of the Internet, people with such outre views can easily spread their messages much wider than before, and they are far more likely to do so than random sarcastic people. Thus, the extremity or bizarreness of a statement on the Internet is not reliable as an indicator of sarcasm.

I actually just don't take anything people seriously on the internet, so there's that.


A very good reason to not use sarcasm on the internet. Tone of voice is too important a factor in sarcasm, and the internet cannot currently convey that. Denoting it at least makes the questionable sarcasm clear, but as you said it waters it down like good liquor at a cheap bar.

That's giving sarcasm too much credit. It's like watering down bad liquor at a cheap bar.

[Ravens_cry]

sarcasm ---->:amused:
That's one use for it, another is sardonic glee.

[Mewtarthio]

What's proper way to denote "said in a light-hearted tone of voice that could potentially be construed as either sarcasm or sincerity depending on your listener's reaction"?

[Flame of Anor]

That's one use for it, another is sardonic glee.

Given your signature, I can see why you'd hope so... :smalltongue:


What's proper way to denote "said in a light-hearted tone of voice that could potentially be construed as either sarcasm or sincerity depending on your listener's reaction"?

Flippantly? Off-handedly? Wrily?

[Siosilvar]

A very good reason to not use sarcasm on the internet. Tone of voice is too important a factor in sarcasm, and the internet cannot currently convey that. Denoting it at least makes the questionable sarcasm clear, but as you said it waters it down like good liquor at a cheap bar.

Everyone I know always changes their tone of voice when they're speaking sarcastically. Everyone.


sarcasm ---->:amused:

Presupposes that I'm not already using that smiley for every other emotion I experience, since it's almost always the most accurate one. :smallamused: There's a reason I had it as my sig a while back.

(also, it works perfectly as a substitute for "that's what she said")

[Lateral]

A very good reason to not use sarcasm on the internet. Tone of voice is too important a factor in sarcasm, and the internet cannot currently convey that. Denoting it at least makes the questionable sarcasm clear, but as you said it waters it down like good liquor at a cheap bar.

Eh, not really. I find that deadpan delivery of sarcasm is better than using tone of voice anyway. Besides, it's not that difficult to convey sarcasm through sentence structure, and if it's deadpan then even having blue text just defeats the purpose of it.

[AttilaTheGeek]

Awww, man, you're so lucky. I never get to be the one millionth visitor to any website. But I have come across a lot of hot singles in my area who insist on trying to meet me. And once I think I my have won an xBox.

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/geoip.png