LGBTAitp #32: The Great Plushie Invasion!

[Asta Kask]

So, the case of the transgender MMA was discussed on one of my other fora (http://sguforums.com/index.php), and while there was some discussion about whether she would enjoy an unfair advantage only one person disagreed that she was a woman. And that poster was quickly shouted down. So, progress on the most important issue at least.

[Sparkify]

It's from a couple pages back, but I have to respond to Sparkify: apologies, I honestly remembered that differently. I don't usually let my mood influence my memories (I guess I was not in a good mood then anyway). I should have checked the thread again before posting. Sorry. :smallfrown:

Ah, ehm, apology accepted :smallredface:

[Heliomance]

Welp. I've just been fired.

[turkishproverb]

Welp. I've just been fired.

I'm sorry. *HUGS* Not sure what to say past that. :smallfrown:

[The Succubus]

Oh my god, Helio, what happened? :smalleek:

[noparlpf]

...Soooo...

Not the best birthday in the world. My coworkers got me a card and all of them signed it, which was a nice gesture, but they picked the single worst one they could: it said, "Happy Birthday Dude!" on the front. I mean, I know it's not their fault because I haven't told them, but is that really the kind of vibe I give off? :smallfrown:

Then, during the dinner my parents took me out to, the conversation briefly got around to what my future is going to look like, and the long and short of it is that my mom still firmly believes that I won't be able to transition in my current job, and that I'll have to wait until I can transfer departments, because people might not like working with a weird trans person, and so I won't be able to start hormones for a couple more years.

We (read: I) didn't really say much to that and just let the conversation move to a different place, but it's still disheartening :smallfrown: .

~Phee~

Hmm. I call everyone "dude". It doesn't have to be masculine. And like other people said, maybe it was just the best male card there, or something. Anyway, I'm sorry to hear the day wasn't that great.
Are you planning on coming out to your coworkers any time soon?


I have a good toilet. I am privyleged.


I have a good balcony outside my window. I am priviledged.

Hey hey a friend came up with this one. "If


Edit:

Welp. I've just been fired.

Oh, geez. That stinks. I'm sorry.
Anything to do with your presentation? Because you said your boss didn't seem to be super-thrilled about it.

[Asta Kask]

Welp. I've just been fired.


I'm sorry. *HUGS* Not sure what to say past that. :smallfrown:


Oh my god, Helio, what happened? :smalleek:

What? What happened?

*hugs*

[Chess435]

Welp. I've just been fired.

:eek: Uh oh, how'd it happen?

[Lentrax]

Welp. I've just been fired.

What? Why?

[Ajadea]

Welp. I've just been fired.


Wha? I - *hugs*. I'm so sorry to hear that! Why did that happen?

[Heliomance]

Oh my god, Helio, what happened? :smalleek:

You heard about the complaint that was levelled against me a month or two ago? I think I mentioned it. Anyway, I haven't had any shifts since then, and I just got a letter saying they were firing me because of it. Personally I'm pretty sure it's because the manager doesn't want a tranny working for him, but proving it is probably more effort than it's worth.

[Asta Kask]

So... where does this leave you?

[Heliomance]

Without a job, but I've essentially not had a job for two months. My student loan has come through now, so it's not a disaster. I need to start looking for a job for after I graduate - a proper full time one that I can turn into a career.

[The Succubus]

<edited on the advice of wiser people than me>

[Chess435]

*snip*

Oh my god this. So much.

[Sparkify]

You heard about the complaint that was levelled against me a month or two ago? I think I mentioned it. Anyway, I haven't had any shifts since then, and I just got a letter saying they were firing me because of it. Personally I'm pretty sure it's because the manager doesn't want a tranny working for him, but proving it is probably more effort than it's worth.

Can you please spoiler that sort of language in the future? It can be pretty triggering.

[Asta Kask]

:smallfurious:

When I first read this, my first reaction was to do something violent to your ex-manager but I think I've hit on an idea that will make you feel better and make him feel incredibly awkward. :smallamused:

What I want you to do is go out and buy a dress - a full length one in a bright eye catching colour. Perhaps something in yellow or if you're feeling really bold, a red. Then work your patented Heliomagic so that you look as gorgeous as you usually do.

Head into your former place of work, completely en femme and get one of your friends to lure the guy out and ensure that he can't scuttle back into his office. Then say to him, loudly so that the customers can hear, "When I used to work for you, you prevented me from coming into work expressing myself as a woman. But since you fired me for this, I am now at liberty to come and go as I deserve to be seen, rather than be subject to the whims of a horrible, transphobic piece of garbage such as yourself." Then sweep out of the cafe to the applause of the customers.

With a little luck, he will also feel a horrible sense of internal conflict upon seeing how hot you are. :smallamused:

This could backfire spectacularly. I think it's the kind of revenge that's better planned than executed.

[Heliomance]

Can you please spoiler that sort of language in the future? It can be pretty triggering.

It's... mrr. That's kinda the point. I hate the word, myself. That I use it at all, and attribute it to his thought processes, is a sign of how pissed off I am.

[Al'izh'dheg]

Helio, I'm very sorry. Losing a job is always a traumatic experience, even when you're better off for it. I'm glad you have a safety net and plans to continue improving your quality of life.

If it makes you feel *any* better at all, I am *very* jealous of your progress. I wish I were in a position to act on my feelings as you have. I wish you nothing but the best however, and am proud of how you are doing.

As for passing, I will echo what others here have said. You are very attractive and can easily pass as far as I can see. This leads me to agree with one or two others and speculate that if you're having trouble passing, it may be due to some latent "male" emotes and/or speech patterns. Just trust that it will pass in time. You are doing amazingly well.

[Asta Kask]

Maybe you're just too assertive to be a typical female.

[The Succubus]

I've edited out my former suggestion. While no doubt it would be theraputic, it could also land you in hot water.

[Sparkify]

It's... mrr. That's kinda the point. I hate the word, myself. That I use it at all, and attribute it to his thought processes, is a sign of how pissed off I am.

I understand you're upset but that's still just a really bad word to just casually read in a support thread without some kind of warning


Maybe you're just too assertive to be a typical female.

Okay I don't know if you're trying to be funny or something but that is really misogynistic.

[Absol197]

Helio: :smallfurious: For one complaint? I've worked in restaurants before, customers complain all the time! Have any of your (former) co-workers ever gotten any complaints? What was yours for? If others have gotten complaints and are still there, I think you have grounds for a claim of discrimination!

Now, I'd like to say you should "Take one for the team" and pursue it anyway, but this is your life, and you shouldn't let any of us pressure you into doing things you don't want to, or that would seriously disrupt your life. I guess what I'm trying to say is that however you decide to follow this up (including doing nothing), we'll be here to support you!


~Phoenix~

[Al'izh'dheg]

Okay I don't know if you're trying to be funny or something but that is really misogynistic.

I doubt he's trying to be funny hon. Like it or not (and most of us would agree with "not"), our society picks up on cues to determine "male" or "female". One of those cues is assertiveness.

Rambling explanation (actually fascinating, but really long, sorry):
I have 7 children, 6 boys and 1 girl. One thing I've found is we can only teach out kids so much. At some point they start interacting with people in their own age group, and I find that it is here my kids pick up a lot of their social interactions in their peer group. I find myself having to actively work to encourage the behaviors we approve of, and (perhaps more importantly) discourage the behaviors we do not approve of (the "we" in this case are my wife and I).

A good case in point. When my daughter first went to school, she was much like her siblings. Bright, intelligent, well-spoken (for her age). Her teacher said she was a delight to have in class.

Then she came to second grade. She hated her new teacher. Her grades went from straight-A's to C's, D's, and eventually some F's. Homework became a MASSIVE headache as she suddenly couldn't do it. "It was too hard." Yet when we finally got past all the drama, I found she was easily able to perform the work.

She's now in sixth grade and she's just now realizing that just because her friends think it's uncool to do well in school, doesn't mean she has to as well. Her grades went from D's and F's this first semester to A's and B's. What was the difference? She stopped "forgetting" her homework.

I know this may seem like a bad example, but I was *astounded* by the turnaround from when she first started going to school, to when "friends" became important to her, to now, when she's finally getting her own identity.

Anyway, all of that boils down to one thing: we may not like Asta's words, but that doesn't mean they aren't true.

Edit: used quote instead of spoiler tag. Oops.

[Chess435]

Helio: :smallfurious: For one complaint? I've worked in restaurants before, customers complain all the time! Have any of your (former) co-workers ever gotten any complaints? What was yours for? If others have gotten complaints and are still there, I think you have grounds for a claim of discrimination!

Now, I'd like to say you should "Take one for the team" and pursue it anyway, but this is your life, and you shouldn't let any of us pressure you into doing things you don't want to, or that would seriously disrupt your life. I guess what I'm trying to say is that however you decide to follow this up (including doing nothing), we'll be here to support you!


~Phoenix~

This as well. You could reap a pretty penny off a lawsuit, if nothing else.

[Asta Kask]

Okay I don't know if you're trying to be funny or something but that is really misogynistic.

I expressed myself poorly. Let's put it like this: men are expected to be assertive, women are expected to be nonassertive. Therefore, a person who behaves in a very assertive manner will be sending out "male" signals. I'm not saying that it's a feature of masculinity or feminity, but that it's a matter of people's expectations.

Harking back to the earlier discussion - acting assertive is part of male privilege. A woman who claims that privilege breaks society's rules. This will lead people to cry foul and assume that the woman is lesbian, transsexual or dangerously feminist.

I'm sorry for the confusion.

[Heliomance]

Helio: :smallfurious: For one complaint? I've worked in restaurants before, customers complain all the time! Have any of your (former) co-workers ever gotten any complaints? What was yours for? If others have gotten complaints and are still there, I think you have grounds for a claim of discrimination!

Now, I'd like to say you should "Take one for the team" and pursue it anyway, but this is your life, and you shouldn't let any of us pressure you into doing things you don't want to, or that would seriously disrupt your life. I guess what I'm trying to say is that however you decide to follow this up (including doing nothing), we'll be here to support you!


~Phoenix~

I'm tempted to try and start an unlawful dismissal suit, but I'm not sure if it would be worth the effort and expense.

[The Succubus]

I'm tempted to try and start an unlawful dismissal suit, but I'm not sure if it would be worth the effort and expense.

*hugs tightly*

This is your immediate manager that's dismissing you - what about the guy that you were getting along with? The one that had his own flirations with LGBTness?

[Heliomance]

*hugs tightly*

This is your immediate manager that's dismissing you - what about the guy that you were getting along with? The one that had his own flirations with LGBTness?

Huh? Not sure who you're talking about.

[The Succubus]

Huh? Not sure who you're talking about.

You spoke to one of your managers and he said he had experimented with dressing up in his early days or something. Lemme see if I can find the quote.

[Heliomance]

You spoke to one of your managers and he said he had experimented with dressing up in his early days or something. Lemme see if I can find the quote.

No, that was the same one, being all "I'm tolerant, honest!"

[Sparkify]

I expressed myself poorly. Let's put it like this: men are expected to be assertive, women are expected to be nonassertive. Therefore, a person who behaves in a very assertive manner will be sending out "male" signals. I'm not saying that it's a feature of masculinity or feminity, but that it's a matter of people's expectations.

Harking back to the earlier discussion - acting assertive is part of male privilege. A woman who claims that privilege breaks society's rules. This will lead people to cry foul and assume that the woman is lesbian, transsexual or dangerously feminist.

I'm sorry for the confusion.

I don't know where you're getting those expectations, like maybe 1950's surburbia? People in general are expected to be assertive, confidence is expected in society.

[Arachu]

Well, this weekend has done wonders for my confidence in my passability. Three or four people have not only clocked me, but felt the need to comment upon it publicly. Not happy.

*Hugs!*


@Bianca- I love your hair more every time I see it, and I'm really glad you're living with such awesome people now.

Thanks! ^_^


An update on me:

After waiting for months, I finally got to see the endo at the health clinic that I've started going to that specializes in LGBT, and particularly trans, health. I've gone through a few procedural thing and had blood work done, so next Monday, I'm going back to talk with the doctor about it, and assuming everything goes well, I could actually leave there with both a prescription and hormones, so that's neat. Also, they're really nice people, and actually use Laura instead of my legal name when talking to me. I didn't think it would make as much of a difference to be called "miss" instead of "mister" by doctors and nurses, but it really does. I'm a little nervous but really excited all the same. I also went to see a friend from the trans support group I go to, and I ended up chatting for hours with a bunch of her housemates, which was fun, and might also end up in taking a shopping trip together, so I can have actual outfits and be less horribly afraid.

I'm also feeling a little guilty because I told my parents when I came out that I would try just anti-androgens for a while, but I find that as I spend more time as Laura, I don't have as much doubt that this is what I want to do, and I want to start a low dose of estrogen too, but I feel awful breaking my promise.

Ok, so that wasn't very quick. Oh well





~Laura


That's great! Hope it goes well~ ^_^


Preemptive support! (http://gawker.com/5990745/dad-overhears-sons-plans-to-come-out-assuages-his-fears-with-heartwarming-letter-of-acceptance?post=58299649) Some parents are awesome.

:smallsmile:


Picture of me and some friends. Warning: Potentially NSFB!
https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/598997_10152122998831490_260564530_n.jpg

You're so pretty. *Jealouses~* X3


Thanks Asta, I appreciate it. I've eaten some, and that seems to temporarily stave off the yucks. It inevitably comes back.

My meds were Tramadol for during the day and Hydrocodone for sleep. It really felt like Tramadol was the culprit, though that's just from anecdotal personal knowledge, not anything empirical. That would have required more "experimentation" with it, and I'm *so* over the meds.

The doctor said the Tramadol wasn't supposed to make me sleepy, but I'm also unusually affected by all meds, and he said in light of that, it may have made me tired at the very least.

The depression... I don't know. *shrug* I came home from work early today and cried. My wife comforted me as best she could before having to leave for work. I'm... better now. Not great, but better.

*So many hugs*


...I'm sorry Helio, but based on that picture, I honestly can't tell why people are clocking you. You just look like a really pretty girl to me!

Kender: You're right of course. I guess I'm letting the less-than-ideal introduction to the concept color my views. I'll try and change!

...Soooo...

Not the best birthday in the world. My coworkers got me a card and all of them signed it, which was a nice gesture, but they picked the single worst one they could: it said, "Happy Birthday Dude!" on the front. I mean, I know it's not their fault because I haven't told them, but is that really the kind of vibe I give off? :smallfrown:

Then, during the dinner my parents took me out to, the conversation briefly got around to what my future is going to look like, and the long and short of it is that my mom still firmly believes that I won't be able to transition in my current job, and that I'll have to wait until I can transfer departments, because people might not like working with a weird trans person, and so I won't be able to start hormones for a couple more years.

We (read: I) didn't really say much to that and just let the conversation move to a different place, but it's still disheartening :smallfrown: .


[I]~Phee~

*Hugs*


Well, when I first told her her response was basically to shrug her shoulders and go "And?", so we were off to a good start :)

We had a bit of a chat about what it means, what my plans are, how it'll affect me in the future, all that kind of thing.
She wasn't surprised (and admitted she'd had to double-check a couple of my facebook photos to realise that it was me and not her at my age) though she did say that she doesn't know if she'd take it very well seeing me presenting as a girl in person, but we'll cross that bridge should we come to it.

And then when she was nearly home I got a phone call from her 'just to remind you that I love you' which was really sweet :)


So yeah, it's been a big couple of days!

Today so far I've been to the hairdressers, walked in with long, straight hair with a couple of mostly grown out layers, and walked out with dark brown curls and a fringe.
Unfortunately the curls are only styled, and already mostly lossened out, but oh well :).
The hairdresser was *amazing* about it all when I said I was really considering a fringe, and when I said I was looking at something that'd work for both genders 'so I could experiment' she was all "Ok, lets see what we can do".
When she'd got the basic shape cut and was just down to trimming it she looked at it and went "It does make you look more feminine, that's ok?" and there was a "Nothing wrong with looking a bit girly" thrown in later.


After that was my first gender-related counseling appointment. The counselor was good, but admitted up front she doesn't know a lot about gender issues, but we had a fair bit of general discussion, and she's going to look for gender specialist counselors and doctors for me and then arrange another appointment (with the assurance from me that if things start getting to me I'm to contact her for another appointment immediately).

Then after that I caught up with a friend who I hadn't seen in person in ages, who had a few pamphlets from the University's queer department for me (she'd gone to them, saying that a friend had just come out as GQ and asked what information they could give), and told me how awesome the fringe looked and had a great general chat.

Then after *that* was off to a laser hair removal consult which turned into my first treatment. Fingers crossed this will lead to never needing to shave again.


Right on my limit of what I could cope with in one day I think.
Tomorrow is full body wax, full body massage, manicure and pedicure.

:smallbiggrin:


You heard about the complaint that was levelled against me a month or two ago? I think I mentioned it. Anyway, I haven't had any shifts since then, and I just got a letter saying they were firing me because of it. Personally I'm pretty sure it's because the manager doesn't want a tranny working for him, but proving it is probably more effort than it's worth.

What the genitals. x.@


~Bianca

[KenderWizard]

Sorry, I guess I'm whining at this point. I just don't have anybody I can talk to about this stuff, and you all are always so nice and supportive.

Don't feel like you're whining when you're getting this stuff off your chest. You're in a position with a lot of strain on you, pretending you're a kind of person you're not, and you're allowed show cracks sometimes.


Picture of me and some friends. Warning: Potentially NSFB!
https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/598997_10152122998831490_260564530_n.jpg

I think eyebrows and hair. Personally I think you sometimes look like a more boyish girl than you're going for. Straight long hair is also a boy look, have you experimented with curls or high ponytails or other definite girl-coded hairstyles?



Kender: You're right of course. I guess I'm letting the less-than-ideal introduction to the concept color my views. I'll try and change!


Very understandable. :smallsmile:


Maybe you're just too assertive to be a typical female.

:smallsigh: I understand what you meant, but throwing that out carelessly kind of hurt my feelings. Assertiveness is often assumed and rewarded in men, and often suppressed and punished in women, but actually there are loads and loads and loads of assertive women. Being assertive doesn't mark someone as masculine. If they _are_ seen as a man, it's likely to be seen as a positive trait, and if they're seen as a woman, a negative one (shrill, nagging, pushy, bitchy*). But those insults are feminised insults, and the judgement comes secondary to the gendering.

*Example: My mother is a really really assertive person. She will let nothing past. She stands up and fights. She's not called "mannish", she's called "bitchy".



Edit: Forgot! Helio, that is super awful and terrible and I think you have a good case for complaint, if you decide to pursue that. Or maybe just tell everyone you know what happened so people who support you know to bring their business elsewhere.

[Karen Lynn]

Helio, just gonna throw this (http://transgenderlawcenter.org/) out here. They might help.

[Heliomance]

I think eyebrows and hair. Personally I think you sometimes look like a more boyish girl than you're going for. Straight long hair is also a boy look, have you experimented with curls or high ponytails or other definite girl-coded hairstyles?

That picture I was aiming for a more butch look than normal - the party's theme was genderf***ery, and that was as far as I was comfortable going.

I don't know why you pick out my eyebrows in that pic - while they do have a tendency to grow thick and bushy, I pluck them occasionally, and I thought they were okay there. What needs changing about them?

As for hair, there's little I can do about the quality of that until I start hormones. I do play with other hairstyles occasionally - I'm quite fond of a half-ponytail - but I find that for an everyday look I look best with it loose. I've tried using bobby pins to hold it away from my face and things, but I can't seem to get the hang of them :smallsigh:

Here, have some more photos for analysis. They're mostly reposts, and go from most recent to least recent.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/32152_10151783801467575_452917928_n.jpg
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/734404_10151508043119479_102709614_n.jpg
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/602184_10151507966179479_1339652350_n.jpg
https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/486129_10151174139606599_32316331_n.jpg
https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/251809_4032097966635_1197154685_n.jpg
https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/576638_4032096206591_442777676_n.jpg
https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/534767_4032094926559_648347237_n.jpg

[Al'izh'dheg]

Thank you to all who have shown support in response to my venting. It *really* means a great deal to me. I'm *so* close to saying to my wife what I really want... but I also don't want to lose her, and I know I can't have one without the other. *shudder* For now, I try to think of other things.

Helio! Okay, if I have to be honest (and I do, you know that), I find you are very attractive. However, I can say that in at least 3 of those pictures, I can detect that dreaded feature all who try to pass hate to hear: "shadow." There are also a couple of poses that come across as "feminine male" to me rather than "girl" if that makes sense.

That being said, you are admittedly *very* early on this journey. You have a whole slew of things that will help you pass more and more. I suspect that since you are already working on makeup, dressing the part, and acting the part, HRT will really kick things into gear for you. You may also look into electrolysis and laser therapy for your lip and chin.

Good luck hon. Sincerely.

[Heliomance]

You know, you're the first person that's told me that. I'm always sure I can see shadow no matter how much foundation I use, but whenever I post a picture everyone tells me there's nothing of the sort and I'm imagining things. It's very happy-making, but not actually that useful if it's not true. I'd far rather know where I'm not getting it right so I can fix it.

Which poses specifically say male to you, and how can I change that?

[Kittenwolf]

Thanks for all those shots Helio, really helps to see things in one place :)

I'm not going to comment on the possibility of 'shadow' much since I'm finding it really hard to tell what's beard shadow and what's lighting shadow (I've just started laser hair removal, I can let you know how it goes if you like?).

As to poses and suchforth, let me do this one by one (and it's going to be really interesting to see if Al'izh'dheg has similar thoughts or not :D ) [also, I really hope I don't shatter any illusions here, I'm going to try and be honest]:

#1: I wouldn't say you look masculine here, but you don't look Confident, and I've been advised by the girls watching me that relaxed & confident is pretty key to passing. I think it's the shoulders, the way that you're rolling them forward. Maybe try paying more attention to keeping your back & shoulders straight?

#2: It's possible that there's some shadow in this one, but it's pretty darned perfect :). You look quite a lot like a friend of mine in that one

#3: Maybe it's the lighting but this one says more 'goth' to me than 'girl'. Shoulders again, very neutral expression, and the hand on leg just seems out of place somehow (wish I could be more specific)

#4: Something about the head tilt does make me wonder if that wasn't your first glass ;). No troubles passing that I can see

#5: Very different from the other ones of you I've seen! You look much softer in the face and more relaxed than the others, it's really nice actually.
Something about the facial expression makes me think pretty & androgynous rather than female, I think this is one where people would read gender based on mannerisms and voice even moreso than usual

#6: I'm not sure what it is but at first glance I'd say male on this one. There's something about the parts of the face that are visible vs the ones that are hidden, but I can't really put my finger on it.

#7: There may be a little shadow here too, I think this is like #5, closer to pretty & androgynous than out and out female.

I could be totally wrong, but you really look a lot more calm and relaxed in the last few, personally I think those are the most attractive of the lot :)

*Many Hugs*
I hope there's something at least slightly useful there.

As to the crap with your job... in your shoes I'd probably at least look into the possibility of litigation against them. Maybe find a 'queer group' that can give good legal advice and see what they say from there?

I can definitely understand not wanting to put yourself 'out there' and just let it go away, but.. I think at least looking into the first step would make you feel better in the long run. Having the confidence of standing up for yourself rather than knuckling under.

That's just my thoughts, they may well not apply in the slightest to you, but I thought I'd offer them anyway.

[PairO'Dice Lost]

You know, you're the first person that's told me that. I'm always sure I can see shadow no matter how much foundation I use, but whenever I post a picture everyone tells me there's nothing of the sort and I'm imagining things. It's very happy-making, but not actually that useful if it's not true. I'd far rather know where I'm not getting it right so I can fix it.

There's only one picture where I definitely see shadow, #2, but that's most likely because you're about a foot away from the camera and it looks like the flash is emphasizing the contrast. In the rest, where I can see anything at all it doesn't look like beard shadow so much as actual shadows from your hair covering your face or something.

Regarding poses, the only vibe I'm getting besides "this person is female" is that maybe in #4 your smile was forced because they were fiddling with the camera too long and you were getting annoyed. :smallwink:

[noparlpf]

You know, you're the first person that's told me that. I'm always sure I can see shadow no matter how much foundation I use, but whenever I post a picture everyone tells me there's nothing of the sort and I'm imagining things. It's very happy-making, but not actually that useful if it's not true. I'd far rather know where I'm not getting it right so I can fix it.

Which poses specifically say male to you, and how can I change that?

In the second and fifth I guess it looks like there's a bit of shadow. Dunno about posture, I don't really notice that in people. And again, if the theme of that party was gender-cussery, people would be expecting and looking for it.

[Selpharia]

Helio, I'm going to add mine to the chorus of voices decrying how unfair you manager is being, and hope that you find a better job if you decide not to fight on this one.

Leaving aside the questions of passing, I really like all of your outfits, they're flattering, well-coordinated, and very stylish.

~Laura

[Lentrax]

Is the record machine broken?
I only ask because we all seem to be saying the same thing.

Helio, I've said it before a d I'm going to say it again. You are a very good looking woman.

Yes you have some shadow in a couple of those shots, but I think it would be far less noticeable IRL. Especially, as Dice said, when a camera flash is two feet away from you.

But I am also sure that as you start HRT, it will no longer be a problem.

As to the job situation: [redacted] that guy. Go finish school, get a career, show him you're a bigger girl than he can handle. Whatever you do, we're on your side, and will do anything we can to help you.

[Heliomance]

Interesting that you single out the last three as different, Neo. They're a fair bit older than the others, taken last summer before I was anything like as good at presenting female. OTOH, they were taken by my then-girlfriend, which is probably why I look so much more relaxed.

[Asta Kask]

I don't know where you're getting those expectations, like maybe 1950's surburbia? People in general are expected to be assertive, confidence is expected in society.

I get it from pages in the news, where Swedish feminists complain that men are socialized to be more assertive than females. Maybe assertive is the wrong word - forward? Take up more space? Extroverted?

No, it's not as bad as it was in 1950's suburbia, but that doesn't mean the difference in expectations isn't there. It's more subtle, but people can pick up on very subtle cues if they have to.

You can also see the "Grammar" section here. (http://heartcorps.com/journeys/voice.htm) This is a blatant appeal to authority, of course, but it at least shows that I'm not alone in my 1950's suburbia expectations.

[Kittenwolf]

Interesting that you single out the last three as different, Neo. They're a fair bit older than the others, taken last summer before I was anything like as good at presenting female. OTOH, they were taken by my then-girlfriend, which is probably why I look so much more relaxed.

That is interesting :)
They're definitely on the androgynous line, rather than the female of your most recent shots, but the soft look (less makeup I think?) and total calmness are extremely attractive.

Now if only you could find a similarly totally-relaxed situation and photographer again, and see how you do now!

[The Succubus]

This is going to sound weird but for me your problem with "shadow" is actually more to do with lighting than facial hair. On those shots where you have a strong light shining on your face (#2 and #4) you come off as a lot more feminine. Having your glasses on also gives you a more feminine appearence but that might just be my aesthetic preferences at work.

[Heliomance]

This is going to sound weird but for me your problem with "shadow" is actually more to do with lighting than facial hair. On those shots where you have a strong light shining on your face (#2 and #4) you come off as a lot more feminine. Having your glasses on also gives you a more feminine appearence but that might just be my aesthetic preferences at work.

Really? I'd thought exactly the opposite about the glasses. I've been meaning to look into getting contacts.

[Mono Vertigo]

@Helio: oh hell.
First, let me get the stabbing needle running joke out of the way. Revel in the mental image. Let the hate flow through you
Done? Done. Moving on to actually semi-useful advice.
Not much to add. If you have the mental and financial resources to sue, I encourage you highly to do it. That's how we pave the way to a better future. (That statement sounds extremely cheesy. Sorry, can't do better, haven't had lunch yet. It's that time of the day when my communication skills are subpar.)
If you can't or don't want to, that's okay too, though I would still suggest talking to him one last time to point out he's a jackass (not in those terms, preferably), and that this sort of discrimination is illegal and he should be sued for it. But again, it's okay if you can't/don't want.
Good luck for the future.

[Heliomance]

The problem is proving that it's because of my trans status. There was a complaint against me, and he's using that as a justification. He's misrepresenting my attitude and response to the complaint, but the fact that there is one makes it quite hard to say that it's actually because of discrimination. Also, the letter doesn't say I'm being fired, it says my employment proved unsuccessful within the probationary period. Never mind that no-one ever mentioned any sort of probationary period, nor have I ever seen a contract.

If I thought I had a chance of success with a lawsuit (and would be able to afford it) I'd go for it, but I'm worried that it's going to come down to my word against his.

I do have a legally-educated friend who's worked in the CAB, so I'll ask him what he thinks my odds of success are. We'll see.

[Castaras]

...nor have I ever seen a contract.

That's the killer. You could try going to your local citizen's bureau, but I don't think you're going to get far because of this.

Always make sure there's something in writing. Not much you can do about it now, but in the future hopefully that'll help.

[Mono Vertigo]

Even then, I believe it would be great to sue, even if your chances of winning are not optimal. Right now, employers think it's okay to discriminate as long as they can provide an unrelated excuse to cover their ass. If, however, the amount of lawsuits increase, even if they are not always successful, the bigots will have to understand they WILL get in trouble, even if they have an excuse, and that, to avoid potential legal troubles, they shouldn't discriminate, period.
The problem is that it's a global solution, not an individual one. It requires people sacrificing money and serenity for potentially nothing, even though they don't deserve that. It requires personal sacrifice. It shouldn't. But the world, especially its social aspect, is unfair, and so, sometimes, to get an omelette, you've got to break a few eggs.
It's however all up to you to choose if you want to fight that fight. You're not a worse person for choosing not to pursue this further, only a rational one who has the right to value her own comfort. That's the dramatic thing about social change, really; both options are valid, but one benefits the community over the long term, and the other, (many but not all) individuals over the short term.

So yeah, that's my two cents.
EDIT: one example to support my point of view:
In the USA, schools and busses (among others) were segregated. Black people were not allowed in practice in white places, even if it was, sometimes, theoretically allowed. That just didn't happen.
The easy solution when you were black was to stick in places reserved for blacks and not make a fuss.
The hard solution was enrolling in white schools or sitting in a bus seat at the front. Horrible threats were thrown around, the protests were mind-numbingly hateful, and there were no real immediate benefits for those who did it first. But soon, other people followed the lead. That's how true change started. With more and more people protesting the status quo even when they were disadvantaged by the very fact they complained. Of course, it's not 100% over yet, but we're getting there, and there are more people today who limit their racism to the confines of their skull.
Those who were oppressed but preferred not to speak up were not worse than those who dared make their opinion known.

[The Succubus]

Life is so much simpler with knitting needles.

[Asta Kask]

Even then, I believe it would be great to sue, even if your chances of winning are not optimal. Right now, employers think it's okay to discriminate as long as they can provide an unrelated excuse to cover their ass. If, however, the amount of lawsuits increase, even if they are not always successful, the bigots will have to understand they WILL get in trouble, even if they have an excuse, and that, to avoid potential legal troubles, they shouldn't discriminate, period.

Another problem is that we're assuming that this is because of Helio's trans status. Do we have any evidence of that? Is it reasonable to accuse a man of being a bigot without being reasonably sure that it is so?

[Mono Vertigo]

Another problem is that we're assuming that this is because of Helio's trans status. Do we have any evidence of that? Is it reasonable to accuse a man of being a bigot without being reasonably sure that it is so?
That's not a bad point. After all, the law in its current state is unfair because it does require evidence (not that this is bad, of course, far from it, the problem is finding the good balance in such cases where there is no material evidence, and that's one of the weak points of justice).
Still, I think it's suspect; I don't declare it is objectively so. Might be biased because I've only heard one party out of the two.

[Socratov]

Well, I'm going to say no on the sue everything becuase it can use quite some resources and could be more trouble then it's worth... But that is my 2 cp

Why?

Well, unless they specifically told you they fired you for being trans you will never get ruled in your favor. (innocent until proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt). Especially when you don't have anythingproving on paper you worked there. I agree with Castaras that next time demand a contract (they should have a standard one lying around) and have stuff in writing. That way should something similar happen you have stuff in writing to provide a basis. Another tip is to, when faced with functionality reports, ask for a copy of the file on you (or at least what gets added). Add in notes on complaints and conflicts and you have a complete file which would provide anything a potentail conflict solver (aka lawyer/barrister/what have you) needs to defend your honor. (this is no proffessional advice but a few tips and tricks I have gotten from other people in the business and commonly good sense). Normally a person wouldn't need a complete file on him/her/... -self, but seeing how you are in a more vulnerable position as a member of the LGBT+ category (for lack of a better word).

At least, that would be what I woudl do in your position...

Oh, another tip, see if you can get a lawstudent to explain you what your rights are as an employee or follow a course in your college. I know that when I did I suddenly knew a lot more about what my rights are and have used that knowledge a couple of times allready...

[Asta Kask]

That's not a bad point. After all, the law in its current state is unfair because it does require evidence (not that this is bad, of course, far from it, the problem is finding the good balance in such cases where there is no material evidence, and that's one of the weak points of justice).
Still, I think it's suspect; I don't declare it is objectively so. Might be biased because I've only heard one party out of the two.

That's a problem you mention there, yes. We've only heard Helio's side. And she's one of us, so we react poorly to anyone dissing her. That's good for friendship, but not so good for justice. It wouldn't be good if we sent the message "It doesn't matter how you treat trans people because they'll sue you anyway."

[Al'izh'dheg]

I understand you're upset but that's still just a really bad word to just casually read in a support thread without some kind of warning



Okay I don't know if you're trying to be funny or something but that is really misogynistic.


I get it from pages in the news, where Swedish feminists complain that men are socialized to be more assertive than females. Maybe assertive is the wrong word - forward? Take up more space? Extroverted?

No, it's not as bad as it was in 1950's suburbia, but that doesn't mean the difference in expectations isn't there. It's more subtle, but people can pick up on very subtle cues if they have to.

You can also see the "Grammar" section here. (http://heartcorps.com/journeys/voice.htm) This is a blatant appeal to authority, of course, but it at least shows that I'm not alone in my 1950's suburbia expectations.

This thread was bothering me, and I let it lay before picking it up. My intent here is not to perpetuate any hard feelings by any means.

However, when I stepped back to clarify why I was upset, I was better able to explain what was really going on here, at least to myself. Please understand that Asta's original comment was not intending to say "men should be aggressive, women should be demure." For a trans* person trying to pass, more than perhaps any other, appearances and expectations mean everything. I'm not saying that's right, or the way it *should* be, I'm just simply stating facts.

By no means am I suggesting a trans* person must act a certain way. I'm simply stating that when we are out in public, our gender is "read" by others using contextual cues. In general, a female is expected to be less aggressive in stance, mannerisms, and speech. This does not mean that one must be passive or less aggressive to be truly female. An excellent example of the opposite of this (to the point of caricature) would be Sue Sylvester from the show Glee. She is macho/aggressive/competitive to the point of ridiculousness, and I do not think she is mistaken for being male at all.

Her attitude, swagger, and even her deeper voice are contextual cues that say male. However, there are certainly other aspects of her that are equally female.

In short what I'm trying to say is that even though I've been gone for a while, I have always found Asta to be an extremely supportive and understanding individual, as well as being an avid student of gender issues. I would never take anything he said as anything but.

[Asta Kask]

Thank you.

I remember seeing this advice on a trans site a year or two ago, but of course I can't find it now. My memory's good but not that good. :smallsmile:

[KenderWizard]

I seems to be in a minority here, and I imagine it doesn't help that we're all coming from different countries and therefore legal systems, but Helio doesn't actually have to prove "innocent until proven guilty beyond all reasonable doubt", cause it'd be a civil case, not a criminal case. I think there's a good case to be made for the sequence of events "I was employed, then I came out as trans, then I was fired". Talk to your legal-advice friend who worked in the CAB, Helio, and decide what works for you.




I don't know why you pick out my eyebrows in that pic - while they do have a tendency to grow thick and bushy, I pluck them occasionally, and I thought they were okay there. What needs changing about them?

As for hair, there's little I can do about the quality of that until I start hormones. I do play with other hairstyles occasionally - I'm quite fond of a half-ponytail - but I find that for an everyday look I look best with it loose. I've tried using bobby pins to hold it away from my face and things, but I can't seem to get the hang of them :smallsigh:

It's a combination thing. I have a friend who has relatively thick eyebrows. On another person, one who was still close to the line, they might make her look masculine. However, they're fighting against her very long silky hair, her delicate features, her big eyes, her va-va-voom hourglass figure, her feminine style of dress, her expertly-applied make-up, etc etc. If she was worried about not looking feminine enough, she might choose to ... I dunno how people change their eyebrows. Plucking? Waxing, maybe? Styling?

Same goes for your hair. Conveniently for you, some hairstyles are very gendered, and some hairstyles accentuate facial features that you might want to draw attention to. Short hair draws attention to the shape of the face, a fringe draws attention to the eyes, that kind of thing. Styles that are predominantly feminine include layers, long-hair-with-fringe, high ponytail, bun and plait. I used to be able to do nothing with my hair save drag it back into a low ponytail, or leave it hang down. Now I cut my own hair and I can (when it's long) do lots of variations on ponytails and plaits and stuff. Get some good hairties (the ones without metal bits are great) and some clips (bobby pins are harder to use, and clips can be nice colours to match your outfit), pick a style and try for it.


You know, you're the first person that's told me that. I'm always sure I can see shadow no matter how much foundation I use, but whenever I post a picture everyone tells me there's nothing of the sort and I'm imagining things. It's very happy-making, but not actually that useful if it's not true. I'd far rather know where I'm not getting it right so I can fix it.

Some of your photos show a bit of facial-hair-shadow, visible mostly because we're looking for it. I think if I were you, I'd go for laser hair removal anyway at this point, just so you don't have to worry about shaving and stuff.

[Asta Kask]

I seems to be in a minority here, and I imagine it doesn't help that we're all coming from different countries and therefore legal systems, but Helio doesn't actually have to prove "innocent until proven guilty beyond all reasonable doubt", cause it'd be a civil case, not a criminal case. I think there's a good case to be made for the sequence of events "I was employed, then I came out as trans, then I was fired". Talk to your legal-advice friend who worked in the CAB, Helio, and decide what works for you.

I have no idea whether this would stand up in court. I'm talking about my standards. And I need a little more than a post hoc ergo propter hoc to convince me. You can just as easily make the case for the sequence "I was employed, then there was a complaint against me, then I was fired." Tell me why that is so much less likely?

IIRC, the spat between Helio and the manager was because Helio jumped the chain of command, not because Helio was trans. Am I misremembering?

[Arachu]

Here, have some more photos for analysis. They're mostly reposts, and go from most recent to least recent.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/32152_10151783801467575_452917928_n.jpg
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/734404_10151508043119479_102709614_n.jpg
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/602184_10151507966179479_1339652350_n.jpg
https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/486129_10151174139606599_32316331_n.jpg
https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/251809_4032097966635_1197154685_n.jpg
https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/576638_4032096206591_442777676_n.jpg
https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/534767_4032094926559_648347237_n.jpg

... I can't for the life of me imagine how someone'd read "male" looking at you. I mean yeah, you're kind of androgynous but definitely leaning feminine. @.@

I can't really tell if shadow's an issue, but I've heard that because the skin has a slight bluish tint to it you can cover it up with a little bit of red (specifically lipstick, but I imagine that regular makeup would work better). I haven't tried it myself, but it seems like it could work~

Of course, you'll wanna be careful not to add too much or you'll look sunburned...


~Bianca

[Viera Champion]

Hey look who's back. It's me, the man of a million faces. Some know me as Viera Champion, some as Kurama, and some as Lil Shiro, or possibly Mitchell.

Anyways, down to business, I'm finally getting to that point in time where I'm looking at colleges, and I'm looking at them for activism, and gender and sexuality studies. Yay! Isn't that exciting? So my school's college guidance counselor is the coolest and most helpful person around, so we've come up with a cool list of colleges.

I'm going to tour some New York schools next week. Ithaca, Marymount Manhattan, and Pace.

[The Succubus]

SHIRO!!! :smalleek::smallbiggrin:

*glomp*

[Viera Champion]

Succu-

OHMIGOD YOU CREATED A POETRY DISCUSSION THREAD! YOU'RE MY HERO!

[Asta Kask]

Oh, it's Lil Shiro. HEELLOO!!

[Arachu]

Hey Mitchell~ *Waves and then glomps~*

Hope searching and being in college go well. :smallbiggrin:


On an unrelated note, I took more pictures of me. My hair's a mess in the first two, but you can totally see my new skirt and legs (which are apparently way more attractive than my arms). :smalltongue:


http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/206370_225586887582226_2130289854_n.jpg
http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/265029_225586920915556_1772187164_n.jpg

Then there's a silly one (that bowl's full of coffee). :smalltongue:
http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/221617_225949130879335_433663937_n.jpg


Opinions? I'm kinda worried that I look too masculine (I'm working on it, but that's slow going)... >.>


~Bianca

[Asta Kask]

Hey Mitchell~ *Waves and then glomps~*

Hope searching and being in college go well. :smallbiggrin:


On an unrelated note, I took more pictures of me. My hair's a mess in the first two, but you can totally see my new skirt and legs (which are apparently way more attractive than my arms). :smalltongue:


http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/206370_225586887582226_2130289854_n.jpg
http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/265029_225586920915556_1772187164_n.jpg

Then there's a silly one (that bowl's full of coffee). :smalltongue:
http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/221617_225949130879335_433663937_n.jpg


Opinions? I'm kinda worried that I look too masculine (I'm working on it, but that's slow going)... >.>


~Bianca

The first one could be a guy - but I wouldn't necessary classify as such until more information was gathered - but the other two are fine. Looks good.

[Urist]

Hey look who's back. It's me, the man of a million faces. Some know me as Viera Champion, some as Kurama, and some as Lil Shiro, or possibly Mitchell.

Anyways, down to business, I'm finally getting to that point in time where I'm looking at colleges, and I'm looking at them for activism, and gender and sexuality studies. Yay! Isn't that exciting? So my school's college guidance counselor is the coolest and most helpful person around, so we've come up with a cool list of colleges.

I'm going to tour some New York schools next week. Ithaca, Marymount Manhattan, and Pace.

Ithaca is gorgeous, as is the town of Ithaca. To be expected for such a big college town, of course, but it's still awesome. Where else are you looking?

[SiuiS]

Blah, quote drop.

Sparkify, the unfortunate truth about "passing" is it is inherently about feeding into gender norms to avoid notice, rather than challenging them on their merits. I believe this is a debate in the trans community, even? Although I feel dirty and disengenuous saying its a debate as fact, in a community that exists only abstractly and that I've never visited... Anyway, the point is, once talk of "passing" is on the table, we have moved past whether any specific criteria is ethical or correct in the social sense, and moved on to "these are the rules of this competition, how do I measure up", and in that light Asta's remark comes across more as "heck if I know, maybe this vague thing here?" to me.

Al'izh'dheg, it's good to have you back. I always saw your avatar and sort of imagined you as a Sinead O'Connor in a red dress.

Why was the thread troubling you? If I may pry?


Hey look who's back. It's me, the man of a million faces. Some know me as Viera Champion, some as Kurama, and some as Lil Shiro, or possibly Mitchell.

Oh man, it's gonna be hard to keep you straight @.@
... There's an obvious joke there, but I fear I don't know you quite well enough to make it XD

Welcome back?

[Karen Lynn]

Oh man, it's gonna be hard to keep you straight @.@
... There's an obvious joke there, but I fear I don't know you quite well enough to make it XD

Why try and keep someone straight? Limiting your options for love like that... :P

[Al'izh'dheg]

*snip*

Al'izh'dheg, it's good to have you back. I always saw your avatar and sort of imagined you as a Sinead O'Connor in a red dress.

Why was the thread troubling you? If I may pry?

*snip*


Thanks, SiuiS. It's good to be back; it's been too long. Heh. I would love to say that was the idea, but honestly, I have no drawing skills of my own, and I like spellcasters, so I used the already-provided red mage image provided by the forums. I don't really have an image of my own. I should at least *try* to change that at some point...

You aren't prying. It troubled me because Asta is a friend, and it bothered me that it seemed something he had said was taken as something other than what I read it to be. I want us all to get along, y'know?

[Asta Kask]

Oh man, it's gonna be hard to keep you straight @.@
... There's an obvious joke there, but I fear I don't know you quite well enough to make it XD

Welcome back?


Why try and keep someone straight? Limiting your options for love like that... :P

Well, SiuiS is a woman, right? So unless she can change Viera Champion's orientation she has no chance... :smallamused:

[The Succubus]

Actually, you remind me a lot of my soon-to-be sister-in-law, Bianca. Both of the first two piccies look very feminine. :smallsmile:

[Mina Kobold]

Hey look who's back. It's me, the man of a million faces. Some know me as Viera Champion, some as Kurama, and some as Lil Shiro, or possibly Mitchell.

Anyways, down to business, I'm finally getting to that point in time where I'm looking at colleges, and I'm looking at them for activism, and gender and sexuality studies. Yay! Isn't that exciting? So my school's college guidance counselor is the coolest and most helpful person around, so we've come up with a cool list of colleges.

I'm going to tour some New York schools next week. Ithaca, Marymount Manhattan, and Pace.

Shi-shi! ^_^ [/On-the-spot-nickname]

I missed you, you were amazing fun! Happy to see you again and great luck to you on the college-search. :smallsmile:


On an unrelated note, I took more pictures of me. My hair's a mess in the first two, but you can totally see my new skirt and legs (which are apparently way more attractive than my arms). :smalltongue:


http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/206370_225586887582226_2130289854_n.jpg
http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/265029_225586920915556_1772187164_n.jpg

Then there's a silly one (that bowl's full of coffee). :smalltongue:
http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/221617_225949130879335_433663937_n.jpg


Opinions? I'm kinda worried that I look too masculine (I'm working on it, but that's slow going)... >.>


~Bianca

The angle makes your arms look a bit odd, as if my brain is trying to see it as if they stretched far further back, but otherwise those are lovely pictures. Your legs and skirt do indeed look nice in them, and I feel compelled to consume the contents of that bowl before I get cursed... Eep! O_O


Oh man, it's gonna be hard to keep you straight @.@
... There's an obvious joke there, but I fear I don't know you quite well enough to make it XD

Well, every joke needs a straight gal, so maybe that could be it? Or Viera could be the straight man to your Jokess? Would that make everybody gay? :3

Sorrysorrysorrysorrybadpunsarebad. >_<

[noparlpf]

Hey look who's back. It's me, the man of a million faces. Some know me as Viera Champion, some as Kurama, and some as Lil Shiro, or possibly Mitchell.

Anyways, down to business, I'm finally getting to that point in time where I'm looking at colleges, and I'm looking at them for activism, and gender and sexuality studies. Yay! Isn't that exciting? So my school's college guidance counselor is the coolest and most helpful person around, so we've come up with a cool list of colleges.

I'm going to tour some New York schools next week. Ithaca, Marymount Manhattan, and Pace.

Hey, welcome back. Good luck on the college stuff, that's always fun.

[Karen Lynn]

I'm just trying to figure out why there aren't more Kobold-Sexuals clamoring for Keveak....

[Viera Champion]

@Urist: I got a long list, but I only have time for three on this trip.
My full list is:

American
Bennington
Bard
University of Delaware
Dickinson
Goucher
Hampshire
Ithaca
Manhattan
Manhattanville
Marymount Manhattan
Pace
Sarah Lawrence
Skidmore


@Keveak: Kev-Kev! :D Nicknames are the best.

[Arachu]

The first one could be a guy - but I wouldn't necessary classify as such until more information was gathered - but the other two are fine. Looks good.

Wait, I look female in the coffee one? I'd think that would be the most masculine-looking one. @.@


Actually, you remind me a lot of my soon-to-be sister-in-law, Bianca. Both of the first two piccies look very feminine. :smallsmile:

Thanks. ^_^


The angle makes your arms look a bit odd, as if my brain is trying to see it as if they stretched far further back, but otherwise those are lovely pictures. Your legs and skirt do indeed look nice in them, and I feel compelled to consume the contents of that bowl before I get cursed... Eep! O_O

It's less the angle and more that I have big, beefy weight-lifter arms despite not lifting weights. :smalltongue:


~Bianca

[Eirala]

@Arachu:

As Asta said, in the first one you look somehow a bit maskuline in contrast to the other two. I can't really say why, i guess it has to do with your facial expression.
You look really convincing in the last two though :)

[Mina Kobold]

I'm just trying to figure out why there aren't more Kobold-Sexuals clamoring for Keveak....

Erh, berh, asexual, but Eeeeep! .////////////.

*Hides in sorting hat*


@Keveak: Kev-Kev! :D Nicknames are the best.

They are, I sound like an onomatopoeia! ^_^



It's less the angle and more that I have big, beefy weight-lifter arms despite not lifting weights. :smalltongue:


~Bianca

I meant more that the perspective kid of made them look a bit long in the second one, but beefyness is also a valid arm-stage. ^_^'

Try sinking weights,, that may counter non-existent weight-lifting! :3

[Arachu]

I meant more that the perspective kid of made them look a bit long in the second one, but beefyness is also a valid arm-stage. ^_^'

Try sinking weights,, that may counter non-existent weight-lifting! :3

Oh. Good point. DXD

*Shows off more pictures (I'm kinda hyper from all the coffee :smalltongue: )~*

Me with my cousin Quinn's cat, Christmas.http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/388565_225997754207806_159680035_n.jpg

And this one I'm really proud of (hopefully I'll start HRT before my weight loss totally gets rid of those >.>).
http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/576094_225997787541136_1192958692_n.jpg


~Bianca

[Mauve Shirt]

Father walks behind computer as I look at Arachupix. "Who's that chick?"
Me: "My friend from the internetz!"

[KenderWizard]

I have no idea whether this would stand up in court. I'm talking about my standards. And I need a little more than a post hoc ergo propter hoc to convince me. You can just as easily make the case for the sequence "I was employed, then there was a complaint against me, then I was fired." Tell me why that is so much less likely?

IIRC, the spat between Helio and the manager was because Helio jumped the chain of command, not because Helio was trans. Am I misremembering?

Because Helio said that complaints happen all the time but people aren't usually fired? If she says "Employees X and Y also sustained customer complaints, are not trans, were not fired" then it seems like the case is fairly solid. I'm not sure either, just if I was in charge of this, and complaints were more common than firings, seems like there's a "trans -> fired" potential link. And in a civil case in Ireland, it just has to be a good case, not "beyond any possible doubt".



On an unrelated note, I took more pictures of me. My hair's a mess in the first two, but you can totally see my new skirt and legs (which are apparently way more attractive than my arms). :smalltongue:


:smallconfused: Two other people have now said that you look more masculine in the first, but I got "girl" from the first one and "could go either way" from the second two. I think you're doing well! Your hair is good and I think in feminine clothes, you read as a girl.

[Arachu]

Father walks behind computer as I look at Arachupix. "Who's that chick?"
Me: "My friend from the internetz!"

:smallbiggrin::smallbiggrin::smallbiggrin:


:smallconfused: Two other people have now said that you look more masculine in the first, but I got "girl" from the first one and "could go either way" from the second two. I think you're doing well! Your hair is good and I think in feminine clothes, you read as a girl.

Thanks! I'd dress in more feminine stuff, but I need money and therefore a job. :smalltongue:

... Or wait, I should have like $110 to spend every month just helping my aunt and cousin's grandma with cleaning stuff... @.@


~Bianca

[Karen Lynn]

Is it just me, or is Venus Envy's update schedule actually worse than VG Cats?

[Lix Lorn]

Wait, Venus Envy updates?
OH WOW TWO UPDATES
Since I last checked it.
Two years ago.

[The Succubus]

Oh. Good point. DXD

*Shows off more pictures (I'm kinda hyper from all the coffee :smalltongue: )~*

Me with my cousin Quinn's cat, Christmas.[SPOILER]http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/388565_225997754207806_159680035_n.jpg

~Bianca

That kitty looks like it's about to disembowel someone. :smalleek:

[Arachu]

That kitty looks like it's about to disembowel someone. :smalleek:

Nah, she's a sweetie.

As far as I know... :smalleek:


~Bianca

[Karen Lynn]

After having just made this point to my roomie a few days ago, I find this...

http://beyondtheveilcomic.com/?p=367

[turkishproverb]

Aww...Shiro grew up.

[Viera Champion]

Aww...Shiro grew up.

One day I'll find another cute boyfriend to tell you all about.

[Eldest]

@Urist: I got a long list, but I only have time for three on this trip.
My full list is:

American
Bennington
Bard
University of Delaware
Dickinson
Goucher
Hampshire
Ithaca
Manhattan
Manhattanville
Marymount Manhattan
Pace
Sarah Lawrence
Skidmore


@Keveak: Kev-Kev! :D Nicknames are the best.

Oh dear god. Do not end up applying to all of those. Trust me. I applied to 5, and I still had some trouble with it.

And if for some reason you have to write about a book for an essay, do not write about Oh The Places You'll Go. Lots of people use it, ya need to not be average.

Also, for all the pics that got posted recently, I keep seeing all of them as female. Great for both of your egos, worthless for figuring out why Helio got clocked.

[Viera Champion]

Oh dear god. Do not end up applying to all of those. Trust me. I applied to 5, and I still had some trouble with it.

And if for some reason you have to write about a book for an essay, do not write about Oh The Places You'll Go. Lots of people use it, ya need to not be average.

Also, for all the pics that got posted recently, I keep seeing all of them as female. Great for both of your egos, worthless for figuring out why Helio got clocked.

Oh dear oh dear. I'm anything but average, my dear.

Would never dream of applying to all those places either. Like I said, I have one of e the coolest and best college guidance counselors around. She knows me well too, and set that list up especially. It's just places I'm considering and learning more about. Not where I'm applying to.

[Urist]

@Viera: That's a pretty diverse list right there. Only ones I ever visited/learned much about were Hampshire,Dickinson and Ithaca, as I tended to focus on small liberal arts colleges. Hampshire was lovely, as was Ithaca, although Dickinson was... not my favorite. Gonna put in a plug for Bates, though! Apply. Do eeeeeetttttt! :smallbiggrin:

[turkishproverb]

One day I'll find another cute boyfriend to tell you all about.

Daww...

Well, on that note. NOt sure what to suggest on all of your posts.

[KenderWizard]

>obligatory note about how the American college application procedure still seems mind-boggling to me<

[SiuiS]

>obligatory note about how the American college application procedure still seems mind-boggling to me<

It's no les mind boggling to me, and I've been through it.

There is the college. There is the student. There is a complex system controlled by a select few councillors who play middle to the system. I wouldn't e surprised if it was actually fairly simple and they over complicated the presentation for raises and job security.

[Coidzor]

>obligatory note about how the American college application procedure still seems mind-boggling to me<

Don't worry, we think you're weird when we actually have any idea of how you go about it too.

[Lentrax]

Yeah, I never had to go through all that college application BS.

South Dakota requires the state universities to accept you if you graduated from high school in SD, so long as you meet the minimum requirements for entry.

Too bad there isn't anything in the law that could have helped me stay in, or go back once I left the military...

[Asta Kask]

Because Helio said that complaints happen all the time but people aren't usually fired? If she says "Employees X and Y also sustained customer complaints, are not trans, were not fired" then it seems like the case is fairly solid. I'm not sure either, just if I was in charge of this, and complaints were more common than firings, seems like there's a "trans -> fired" potential link. And in a civil case in Ireland, it just has to be a good case, not "beyond any possible doubt".

Ok, I hadn't caught up on that. Then I agree. The next point is - if Helio agrees to sue, can we help with the legal fees?

Do you have a PayPal account, Helio? I can't pledge much, but 50 kr?

[Arachu]

After reading Venus Envy for a while, I find that it's wonderful and I love it.

... But some parts trigger the hell out of me. Especially the nightmare pages. >.>


~Bianca

[Al'izh'dheg]

Rain is still my current favorite. The story just makes me gooey inside, I'm not sure why. I certainly wish my senior year in high school had gone this way.

Khaos is over, but Tab (the author) started up Shades of A, which is interesting so far. Tab is definitely on the more "hard core" side of the comic field. Shades of A hasn't really ventured far yet, but Khaos definitely had some triggering moments for some people.

I want to start Venus Envy as it sound interesting, but I'm very nervous about getting into a story that isn't going to end and doesn't get updated regularly. :smalleek:

[Viera Champion]

Are we talking about webcomics? Cuz if we are, I suggest Tripping Over You (http://trippingoveryou.com/).

It's super adorable. Each chapter is a different stage in a relationship.

Updates every Tuesday night.

[Mystic Muse]

El Goonish Shive (http://egscomics.com/) is pretty great.

Hey everyone, sorry I haven't been keeping up with the last couple of threads. No real significant strides in my own life (At least, not as significant as I would like). Been seeing a counselor, and just polished my nails.

[Astrella]

Sorry for not commenting for a while again, I've had a really rough weekend which I'll go into detail a bit below.

I'm really sorry to hear about all the job related stuff, Helio. :c

And your pictures are very neat, Arachu! :smallsmile:

Lena's Linkies:

How do I know if I'm trans? One of Natalie's latest articles on Freethought blogs cause she's resigning but I think it's a very good read. (http://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2013/03/17/how-do-i-know-if-im-trans/)

Interesting article on the t-word (trigger warning). (http://www.autostraddle.com/on-body-snarking-with-the-word-trnny-168052/) (Autostraddle is a queer women oriented site with a ton of good content and I recommend it; they've recently also started adding a lot of trans content (primarily trans women oriented but a lot of it applies universally).)

On that note, I was thinking that we could maybe put up a repository of quality links like webcomics, pflag, 101 stuff etc... up in the first post?

-----

Progress stuff:
http://i.imgur.com/jIvUvUx.jpg

I took a whole bunch of them not wearing a coat but I felt icky about most of them...

So I'm almost 8 weeks on HRT now and there's been quite a bit of changes. My skin is softer and more sensitive, body hair is a bit less and seems to regrow slower. Facial hair regrows slower and shaving seems to go easier. Not sure if there's already changes face wise cause it's hard to tell for me? Stuff downstairs has changed quite a bit already. >.> And there's been quite a bit of chest growth already... I need to start looking for a bra soonish I think cause chaffing and sensitiveness.

-----

Home situation:
My brother and mum got in a huge fight the minute we got home Friday and there was lots of nastiness coming form both sides and when my dad jumped in my mum exploded and started threatening with divorce and making suicide threats again. Well, in her usual, like, my dad drove her to work last Tuesday cause it snowed a ton so she went "you should have let me drive so I could have driven myself into a tree and ended it all" and I just feel really concerned and stressed and it makes me really scared to come out cause I'll probably get hurt and also adding more worries to her.

[Al'izh'dheg]

Just found this article via Bethany Black's Twitter page:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/03/20/show-me-your-papers-before-you-pee-it-could-happen-in-arizona.html

This is absolutely and in all ways unacceptable! I... I need to calm down before I say more actually. Sorry. :(




Sorry for not commenting for a while again, I've had a really rough weekend which I'll go into detail a bit below.

I'm really sorry to hear about all the job related stuff, Helio. :c

And your pictures are very neat, Arachu! :smallsmile:

Lena's Linkies:

How do I know if I'm trans? One of Natalie's latest articles on Freethought blogs cause she's resigning but I think it's a very good read. (http://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2013/03/17/how-do-i-know-if-im-trans/)

Interesting article on the t-word (trigger warning). (http://www.autostraddle.com/on-body-snarking-with-the-word-trnny-168052/) (Autostraddle is a queer women oriented site with a ton of good content and I recommend it; they've recently also started adding a lot of trans content (primarily trans women oriented but a lot of it applies universally).)

On that note, I was thinking that we could maybe put up a repository of quality links like webcomics, pflag, 101 stuff etc... up in the first post?

-----

Progress stuff:
http://imgur.com/jIvUvUx

I took a whole bunch of them not wearing a coat but I felt icky about most of them...



-----

Home situation:
My brother and mum got in a huge fight the minute we got home Friday and there was lots of nastiness coming form both sides and when my dad jumped in my mum exploded and started threatening with divorce and making suicide threats again. Well, in her usual, like, my dad drove her to work last Tuesday cause it snowed a ton so she went "you should have let me drive so I could have driven myself into a tree and ended it all" and I just feel really concerned and stressed and it makes me really scared to come out cause I'll probably get hurt and also adding more worries to her.

Wow Astrella! On the one hand I am wanting to offer congratulations on your progress, but your home situation is absolutely terrible! I'm so sorry.

I am curious about one thing though... I thought you had to be living full time to be approved for HRT. Is my information incorrect? Please feel free to tell me I'm prying. It is not my intention to do so.

[Asta Kask]

Progress stuff:
http://i.imgur.com/jIvUvUx.jpg

Cute, but too young. :smallwink:


Home situation:
My brother and mum got in a huge fight the minute we got home Friday and there was lots of nastiness coming form both sides and when my dad jumped in my mum exploded and started threatening with divorce and making suicide threats again. Well, in her usual, like, my dad drove her to work last Tuesday cause it snowed a ton so she went "you should have let me drive so I could have driven myself into a tree and ended it all" and I just feel really concerned and stressed and it makes me really scared to come out cause I'll probably get hurt and also adding more worries to her.


Wow Astrella! On the one hand I am wanting to offer congratulations on your progress, but your home situation is absolutely terrible! I'm so sorry.

Totes +1 with bacon.


I am curious about one thing though... I thought you had to be living full time to be approved for HRT. Is my information incorrect? Please feel free to tell me I'm prying. It is not my intention to do so.

Wouldn't that depend on where you live? I think Lena is from the Netherlands.

TRIGGER WARNING:
Daily fail. :smallfrown: (http://freethoughtblogs.com/zinniajones/2013/03/trans-woman-commits-suicide-after-being-bullied-by-the-daily-mail/)

[Arachu]

And your pictures are very neat, Arachu! :smallsmile:

Thanks. :smallsmile:


On that note, I was thinking that we could maybe put up a repository of quality links like webcomics, pflag, 101 stuff etc... up in the first post?

That sounds like a good idea. I might keep a Notepad document 'till the end of this thread, if nobody else does? (I might have some trouble keeping up, considering how I usually have to walk to the library.)


Progress stuff:
http://i.imgur.com/jIvUvUx.jpg

I took a whole bunch of them not wearing a coat but I felt icky about most of them...

You're so pretty. :3


So I'm almost 8 weeks on HRT now and there's been quite a bit of changes. My skin is softer and more sensitive, body hair is a bit less and seems to regrow slower. Facial hair regrows slower and shaving seems to go easier. Not sure if there's already changes face wise cause it's hard to tell for me? Stuff downstairs has changed quite a bit already. >.> And there's been quite a bit of chest growth already... I need to start looking for a bra soonish I think cause chaffing and sensitiveness.

Glad to hear it's going well. :smallbiggrin:

I'd recommend a bra anyway - they help shape you up. I'm not even on hormones yet, and wearing one got mine to look less... Er, like flab. >.>


Home situation:
My brother and mum got in a huge fight the minute we got home Friday and there was lots of nastiness coming form both sides and when my dad jumped in my mum exploded and started threatening with divorce and making suicide threats again. Well, in her usual, like, my dad drove her to work last Tuesday cause it snowed a ton so she went "you should have let me drive so I could have driven myself into a tree and ended it all" and I just feel really concerned and stressed and it makes me really scared to come out cause I'll probably get hurt and also adding more worries to her.

:c *So many hugs*


Just found this article via Bethany Black's Twitter page:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/03/20/show-me-your-papers-before-you-pee-it-could-happen-in-arizona.html

This is absolutely and in all ways unacceptable! I... I need to calm down before I say more actually. Sorry. :(

*Hugs*


TRIGGER WARNING:
Daily fail. :smallfrown: (http://freethoughtblogs.com/zinniajones/2013/03/trans-woman-commits-suicide-after-being-bullied-by-the-daily-mail/)

:smallfurious:

I'm... Not commenting on this. I'm just going to get some coffee, flex my fists a little and breathe until I stop wanting to put them through a wall. >.>


~Bianca

[Al'izh'dheg]

Wouldn't that depend on where you live? I think Lena is from the Netherlands.

TRIGGER WARNING:
Daily fail. :smallfrown: (http://freethoughtblogs.com/zinniajones/2013/03/trans-woman-commits-suicide-after-being-bullied-by-the-daily-mail/)


Good point on the first. I thought there was a global set of standards some important body or another had set, and most follow that. I would look it up, but...

The second part, with the trigger warning... heh. Triggers. Just earlier today I was congratulating myself on having a very open mind and thick skin. I literally thought to myself, "I'm so glad I don't have any triggers." And then I read about your link. Actually, Bethany Black pointed it out on Facebook and I saw it there first. And now I'm at work in tears and mostly non-functional. So much for no triggers. It just hit me out of the blue. I didn't expect it.

Thank you for sharing it though. This sort of thing is important to be exposed. Hate and bigotry should never be tolerated, especially when it causes such an invasion of personal space and identity that this happens. :(

I can't write more for now. This is just...

[Asta Kask]

Well, what's the point of me giving trigger warnings if you ignore them. Silly woman.

*hugs*

[Astrella]

Wow Astrella! On the one hand I am wanting to offer congratulations on your progress, but your home situation is absolutely terrible! I'm so sorry.

I am curious about one thing though... I thought you had to be living full time to be approved for HRT. Is my information incorrect? Please feel free to tell me I'm prying. It is not my intention to do so.

I'm talking about it with my therapist next week. :/

Oh, I'm from Belgium and it's not required here. I'm pretty sure it's not required under the Standards of Care either.


TRIGGER WARNING:
Daily fail. :smallfrown: (http://freethoughtblogs.com/zinniajones/2013/03/trans-woman-commits-suicide-after-being-bullied-by-the-daily-mail/)

And the cowards even removed their awful article... :smallfurious::smallfrown: This is just horrendous...

[Al'izh'dheg]

Cute, but too young. :smallwink:





Totes +1 with bacon.



Wouldn't that depend on where you live? I think Lena is from the Netherlands.

TRIGGER WARNING:
Daily fail. :smallfrown: (http://freethoughtblogs.com/zinniajones/2013/03/trans-woman-commits-suicide-after-being-bullied-by-the-daily-mail/)

I know, Asta. And you did nothing wrong. Like I said, I found out from Facebook first... no Triggers warning. Besides, it's kinda hard to not ignore something when you tell yourself, "I sure am glad I don't have those."

Changing the subject:

Astrella: Yes! The Standards of Care. That's what I was thinking of. Thank you. And that was a surprise. Maybe it was after 6 months on HRT you had to live full time? Bah. I can't be bothered to look up whatever I was thinking about. Brain fuzzled.

[Asta Kask]

Standards of Care (http://www.wpath.org/documents/IJT%20SOC,%20V7.pdf) version 7. From something called WPATH - I don't know how good they are.

Al'izh'dheg, I was joking a little. But you still get another *hug*.

[Lea Plath]

El Goonish Shive (http://egscomics.com/) is pretty great.

I dislike El Goonish Shive greatly and can't suggest it. Most of it just feels feitshy and the community is pretty bad :/

On the plus side, the Tandy Arena that is on the same forum is pretty great. Really transfriendly and a pretty great community too. Currently we are restructuring but if you want I can drop you a link.

Anyway.

@Arachu: *snug!*

@Astrella: You look great. Short hair on girls is cute, and fits your face.

[Mina Kobold]

Are we talking about webcomics? Cuz if we are, I suggest Tripping Over You (http://trippingoveryou.com/).

It's super adorable. Each chapter is a different stage in a relationship.

Updates every Tuesday night.

*Reads*

D'aaaaaaww. ^w^

Just adorable. Reminds me a bit of Always Raining Here (http://alwaysraininghere.com/), though that one has a bit of trigger-warning for the party chapter (A main character prevents the perpetrator from doing anything, but be careful still), which Tripping Over You doesn't. ^_^'

Speaking off, I have run out of adorable couples to read about...

*Tries to make Viera trip over the nearest cute boy*

Miheehee! OwO


Just found this article via Bethany Black's Twitter page:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/03/20/show-me-your-papers-before-you-pee-it-could-happen-in-arizona.html

This is absolutely and in all ways unacceptable! I... I need to calm down before I say more actually. Sorry. :(

... Meep. ._.

I am honestly getting really scared of some of these people. I don't even know where my birth certificate is, let alone carry my papers with me to the bathroom. This really sounds uncomfortably familiar to other segregations, even if it is hopefully nowhere near as big and eep! ._.

Sorry, will stop panicking now.


TRIGGER WARNING:
Daily fail. :smallfrown: (http://freethoughtblogs.com/zinniajones/2013/03/trans-woman-commits-suicide-after-being-bullied-by-the-daily-mail/)

... ;_;

That, that is beyond words depressing and horrible. :smallfrown:

*Hides from the world*

[Asta Kask]

To compensate for that I give you the all-lesbian (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Mexico_whiptail) New Mexico Whiptail lizards. There are only female lizards, and they all reproduce parthenogenically. But, they still require a month-long courtship followed by copulation for egg-laying to occur.

[Viera Champion]

*Reads*

D'aaaaaaww. ^w^

Just adorable. Reminds me a bit of Always Raining Here (http://alwaysraininghere.com/), though that one has a bit of trigger-warning for the party chapter (A main character prevents the perpetrator from doing anything, but be careful still), which Tripping Over You doesn't. ^_^'

Speaking off, I have run out of adorable couples to read about...

*Tries to make Viera trip over the nearest cute boy*

Miheehee! OwO

Too bad cute boys keep a 30 mile radius from me, so you couldn't ever get one close enough to trip over.

[The Succubus]

And the cowards even removed their awful article... :smallfurious::smallfrown: This is just horrendous...

I've just spent a very productive 20 minutes filling in the UK Press Complaints form, with plenty of links. The Clauses you're looking for are Clause 4 for Harassment and Clause 12 for discrimination. It's super fun and I encourage as many of you to fill it in as possible. The article date was 26/12/2012. Don't forget to link the blog too!

He will probably ignore the personal message I sent. He won't be able to ignore the formal complaint.

www.pcc.org.uk

[Karen Lynn]

Webcomics for the first post...

Story of a MtF with friends, one of which is(what we assume to be) bi-gender/gender fluid.
http://rain.thecomicseries.com/comics/first

Pretty much dead, many triggers.
http://www.venusenvycomic.com/index.php?id=2

Eight different stories, running the wide array of LGBT, some have triggers.
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/steves-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/marks-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/ambers-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/nays-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/toms-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/alexs-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/charlies-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/jamies-story-cover

Needs tags
http://trippingoveryou.com/comics/first/

Needs tags
http://alwaysraininghere.com/index.php/first-page/

[Chess435]

Too bad cute boys keep a 30 mile radius from me, so you couldn't ever get one close enough to trip over.

*snuggles* I hope you find a guy you can happily snuggle with someday! :smallbiggrin:

[Kindablue]

Just found this article via Bethany Black's Twitter page:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/03/20/show-me-your-papers-before-you-pee-it-could-happen-in-arizona.html


Of all of the dumb arguments in that, "think of the children" makes the least sense. I grew up with a single mother, and when I was little and we were in public, she didn't just send me into the men's room and hope it worked out! Being in the "wrong" bathroom is such a common situation for little kids to be in, I don't see how that law that would fix anything.

I'd personally love it if we started doing restrooms the Roman way. Just one long bench with a bunch of holes in it. I don't get the shyness.

[Al'izh'dheg]

Webcomics for the first post...

Sotry of a FtM with friends, one of which is MtF
http://rain.thecomicseries.com/comics/first

Pretty much dead, many triggers.
http://www.venusenvycomic.com/index.php?id=2

Eight different stories, running the wide array of LGBT
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/steves-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/marks-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/ambers-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/nays-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/toms-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/alexs-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/charlies-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/jamies-story-cover

Needs tags
http://trippingoveryou.com/comics/first/

Needs tags
http://alwaysraininghere.com/index.php/first-page/



One of the things I liked about Khaos' 8 different stories is that they intertwined very cleverly. Things you discover in one of them get revealed in others. It's difficult to explain, but the way it's done is rather clever.

[Zorg]

@ Bianca - did a double take as you look just like a girl at work :smallsmile:


@ Astrella - sorry to hear things at home are stressful, but good to see the HRT is kicking in fast (making up for all the other delays I guess!). And you look cute as always :smallbiggrin:



First appointment with the psych about HRT is three weeks away, and I'm booked in for a trachael shave end of April, just after my 30th. Plastic surgeon was hilariously stereotypical and tried to sell me a nose job, lol :smallsigh: on the plus side it's only costing $5,000 all up. That's because the anaesthetist is cheaper because it's just a local and a sedative, so being awake for the procedure is going to be interesting...
Bit stressed out as I think I've torn a muscle or popped a tendon or something in my hand. Got a weird dent where I'm pretty sure a muscle used to be and it hurts like hell... hope i don't need surgery on that.
Oh, and I bought a wig and makeup so depending how I'm going there may be pictures in the nearish future (maybe).

[Al'izh'dheg]

@ Bianca - did a double take as you look just like a girl at work :smallsmile:


@ Astrella - sorry to hear things at home are stressful, but good to see the HRT is kicking in fast (making up for all the other delays I guess!). And you look cute as always :smallbiggrin:



First appointment with the psych about HRT is three weeks away, and I'm booked in for a trachael shave end of April, just after my 30th. Plastic surgeon was hilariously stereotypical and tried to sell me a nose job, lol :smallsigh: on the plus side it's only costing $5,000 all up. That's because the anaesthetist is cheaper because it's just a local and a sedative, so being awake for the procedure is going to be interesting...
Bit stressed out as I think I've torn a muscle or popped a tendon or something in my hand. Got a weird dent where I'm pretty sure a muscle used to be and it hurts like hell... hope i don't need surgery on that.
Oh, and I bought a wig and makeup so depending how I'm going there may be pictures in the nearish future (maybe).

Wow Zorg, congratulations on your first surgery. Please let me know more about it as this is something I've thought about for myself. I don't have much of an Adam's Apple (thank goodness), but my voice has this deep resonating tone to it that makes it nearly impossible for my voice to pass... ever. I have to go up into falsetto, and that is very obviously falsetto (and hurts after a bit to boot). I heard that tracheal shaves can permanently ruin your singing voice, and I used to be a soprano (before puberty, heh) and while I can't sing now, I have this stupid notion that one day, maybe I can with voice training and...

okay, stopping now before I get emotional again. What a messed up day for me and my emotions. Sheesh.

[Arachu]

Anyway.

@Arachu: *snug!*

*Huggles~*


@ Bianca - did a double take as you look just like a girl at work :smallsmile:

Wait, really? DXD

(Thanks for pointing that out. :smallsmile: )


First appointment with the psych about HRT is three weeks away, and I'm booked in for a trachael shave end of April, just after my 30th. Plastic surgeon was hilariously stereotypical and tried to sell me a nose job, lol :smallsigh: on the plus side it's only costing $5,000 all up. That's because the anaesthetist is cheaper because it's just a local and a sedative, so being awake for the procedure is going to be interesting...
Bit stressed out as I think I've torn a muscle or popped a tendon or something in my hand. Got a weird dent where I'm pretty sure a muscle used to be and it hurts like hell... hope i don't need surgery on that.
Oh, and I bought a wig and makeup so depending how I'm going there may be pictures in the nearish future (maybe).

Neat. :smallbiggrin:

What happened to your hand? @.@ *Hugs*


Wow Zorg, congratulations on your first surgery. Please let me know more about it as this is something I've thought about for myself. I don't have much of an Adam's Apple (thank goodness), but my voice has this deep resonating tone to it that makes it nearly impossible for my voice to pass... ever. I have to go up into falsetto, and that is very obviously falsetto (and hurts after a bit to boot). I heard that tracheal shaves can permanently ruin your singing voice, and I used to be a soprano (before puberty, heh) and while I can't sing now, I have this stupid notion that one day, maybe I can with voice training and...

okay, stopping now before I get emotional again. What a messed up day for me and my emotions. Sheesh.

*So many hugs* You'd be surprised how much a voice can change... Heck, a year ago I was stuck in a monotone so deep it hurt my throat to talk (and I couldn't even do it that loudly). Now my cousin says that I sound feminine enough to 'convince' people I'm a chick (this is a lot coming from her). I haven't even been working on stuff other than head resonance until like a week ago. @.@

There are lots of great voice training videos on YouTube. Oh hey, maybe we could add some of those to a list as well? :smallsmile:



~Bianca

[Karen Lynn]

I have Khaos bookmarked on Charlie's story. Whenever I need a pick me up...

Anywho, I have made absolutely no progress on my voice, and it makes me sad...

[Mina Kobold]

Too bad cute boys keep a 30 mile radius from me, so you couldn't ever get one close enough to trip over.

Danish power!

*Does pastry-themed transformation sequence.*

Never learnt imperial measurements, so that should be no issue at all. Now, to find a cute boy... :3


Webcomics for the first post...

Sotry of a FtM with friends, one of which is MtF
http://rain.thecomicseries.com/comics/first

Pretty much dead, many triggers.
http://www.venusenvycomic.com/index.php?id=2

Eight different stories, running the wide array of LGBT
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/steves-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/marks-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/ambers-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/nays-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/toms-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/alexs-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/charlies-story-cover
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/jamies-story-cover

Needs tags
http://trippingoveryou.com/comics/first/

Needs tags
http://alwaysraininghere.com/index.php/first-page/


Think Rain has the Ms and Fs mixed (Though Ky's gender identity is uncertain, even on the newly updated cast page. ^_^'), but otherwise yays. :smallsmile:

I would provide tags, but I sadly have little time. Mayhap in the morrow, however! ^_^


Of all of the dumb arguments in that, "think of the children" makes the least sense. I grew up with a single mother, and when I was little and we were in public, she didn't just send me into the men's room and hope it worked out! Being in the "wrong" bathroom is such a common situation for little kids to be in, I don't see how that law that would fix anything.

I'd personally love it if we started doing restrooms the Roman way. Just one long bench with a bunch of holes in it. I don't get the shyness.

Ooh, that happened to me too. Except my heteronormative parents are separated (unofficial divorce), so I got to see every bathroom. ^_^



First appointment with the psych about HRT is three weeks away, and I'm booked in for a trachael shave end of April, just after my 30th. Plastic surgeon was hilariously stereotypical and tried to sell me a nose job, lol :smallsigh: on the plus side it's only costing $5,000 all up. That's because the anaesthetist is cheaper because it's just a local and a sedative, so being awake for the procedure is going to be interesting...
Bit stressed out as I think I've torn a muscle or popped a tendon or something in my hand. Got a weird dent where I'm pretty sure a muscle used to be and it hurts like hell... hope i don't need surgery on that.
Oh, and I bought a wig and makeup so depending how I'm going there may be pictures in the nearish future (maybe).

Congrats on the tracheal and appointment, hope it goes well and is not too creepy being awake for. :smallsmile:

Hope the hand is nothing serious, unwanted surgery sounds really unfortunate. Though, if it happens, I hope it won't end up costing you anything, that would just be salt in the wound. >_<

Oh, and Atrella: A very nice picture and very nice to hear that things are going well already. Hope things continue to improve beyond expectations. :smallsmile:

[Lentrax]

There are lots of great voice training videos on YouTube. Oh hey, maybe we could add some of those to a list as well? :smallsmile:

Didn't we have a list of those last thread? We could probably consolidate a list of internet resources into just one thread on its own.

Not that would be terribly bad, just not a whole lot of room for conversation...

Zorg. It is good to hear from you again. Glad to hear you are moving forward with your surgeries. If you don't mind me asking, did you manage to get your other financial situation squared away? I know it is stressful, but hopefully things have gotten a bit better.

Except for your hand, ouch.

Wait, pictures? you mean you aren't an incredibly good looking Asari? :smallwink:

Love you all.
*hugs for those who want them*
*hugs for everyone else anyway.*

[PairO'Dice Lost]

Wait, pictures? you mean you aren't an incredibly good looking Asari? :smallwink:

What, an incredibly good-looking Asari isn't allowed to add a wig and some makeup? :smallamused:

[Coidzor]

Of all of the dumb arguments in that, "think of the children" makes the least sense. I grew up with a single mother, and when I was little and we were in public, she didn't just send me into the men's room and hope it worked out! Being in the "wrong" bathroom is such a common situation for little kids to be in, I don't see how that law that would fix anything.

I'd personally love it if we started doing restrooms the Roman way. Just one long bench with a bunch of holes in it. I don't get the shyness.

Yeah, little kids go into whatever restroom their parent/guardian/zookeeper goes into and woe betide anyone who looks at the kid funny because they'll find their entrails on the wrong side of their skin. :smallconfused:

Well, we'd have to be really exhibitionist to go shag in the bathroom if that were the case. Not sure if that's really a for or against, mind.

Astrella: Well, I can't really say for sure given the lack of the complete picture, but the evidence I do have suggests that your haircut suits you and frames well.

I hope things start looking up in your home life soon or that at least you can make it so it is your family life rather than your home life.

Zorg: Glad to hear the surgery is on track and I hope it goes well for you. :smallsmile:

Hope your hand gets better without further incident. :smallconfused:

Bianca: Hmm, now that Zorg mentions it, you do sort of remind me of one of my friends. Umm... This isn't intended in any sort of negative fashion, but have you ever watched Macklemore & Ryan Lewis's songThrift Shop's music video? Too many expletives for me to link it, granted...



What, an incredibly good-looking Asari isn't allowed to add a wig and some makeup? :smallamused:

Sorry, I'm trying to wrap my head around that mental image. :smallconfused:

[Karen Lynn]

Think Rain has the Ms and Fs mixed (Though Ky's gender identity is uncertain, even on the newly updated cast page. ^_^'), but otherwise yays. :smallsmile:

I would provide tags, but I sadly have little time. Mayhap in the morrow, however! ^_^

Fixed, and it would be appreciated!

[Arachu]

Bianca: Hmm, now that Zorg mentions it, you do sort of remind me of one of my friends. Umm... This isn't intended in any sort of negative fashion, but have you ever watched Macklemore & Ryan Lewis's songThrift Shop's music video? Too many expletives for me to link it, granted...

I have now. Why do you bring it up? :smalltongue:


Anywho, I have made absolutely no progress on my voice, and it makes me sad...

*Hugs* I'm sure you will.


~Bianca

[KenderWizard]

Progress stuff:
http://i.imgur.com/jIvUvUx.jpg

I took a whole bunch of them not wearing a coat but I felt icky about most of them...


You're pretty. :smallredface: You have beautiful eyes. Well, eye, but I presume the other's pretty similar. Now I'm getting anxious that maybe Astrella only has one eye and I'm being hella insensitive...




The second part, with the trigger warning... heh. Triggers. Just earlier today I was congratulating myself on having a very open mind and thick skin. I literally thought to myself, "I'm so glad I don't have any triggers." And then I read about your link. Actually, Bethany Black pointed it out on Facebook and I saw it there first. And now I'm at work in tears and mostly non-functional. So much for no triggers. It just hit me out of the blue. I didn't expect it.


I don't think there's a soul in the Verse doesn't have some triggers. And more the more society stacks up against them.


To compensate for that I give you the all-lesbian (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Mexico_whiptail) New Mexico Whiptail lizards. There are only female lizards, and they all reproduce parthenogenically. But, they still require a month-long courtship followed by copulation for egg-laying to occur.

I WISH SO MUCH that humans required a month-long courtship followed by copulations to ovulate!!



I'd personally love it if we started doing restrooms the Roman way. Just one long bench with a bunch of holes in it. I don't get the shyness.

O,o Strongly disagree! Unisex, absolutely. But I insist on my Cubicle of Modesty +1.


Wow Zorg, congratulations on your first surgery. Please let me know more about it as this is something I've thought about for myself. I don't have much of an Adam's Apple (thank goodness), but my voice has this deep resonating tone to it that makes it nearly impossible for my voice to pass... ever. I have to go up into falsetto, and that is very obviously falsetto (and hurts after a bit to boot). I heard that tracheal shaves can permanently ruin your singing voice, and I used to be a soprano (before puberty, heh) and while I can't sing now, I have this stupid notion that one day, maybe I can with voice training and...

okay, stopping now before I get emotional again. What a messed up day for me and my emotions. Sheesh.

If it helps, I've always understood that provided you're not medically tone deaf (which you presumably aren't, if you used to be a singer), then your voice can be trained to sing. If this is something you really want, then it can happen. And the one (singing alto or soprano) might help the other (improving your voice so it's more feminine).

[Selpharia]

Those articles... I don't think I've ever been simultaneously so angry and depressed with the world.

@Bianca- I read you as female in all of your pictures. Very cute!

@Astrelia- Sorry to hear that about your mom, hon, but you look wonderful. I don't mean to tell you what to do, but if I were you I'd get the heck out of there as soon as I could.

Also, I'm a teensy bit jealous that you're so cute

@Zorg: That's fantastic news, and I hope things keep going well for you. I also hope that your being back means that the tough time you were going through last time I remember hearing from you has gotten a little better.

@Karen and Al'izh'dheg- You're definitely not the only ones. I can make my male voice do all sorts of crazy things, excerpt be feminine, which never quite works the way its supposed to and just sounds like bad opera.

*hugs* for everybody!

~Laura

[Kindablue]

O,o Strongly disagree! Unisex, absolutely. But I insist on my Cubicle of Modesty +1.
We could even put the bench outside! O, the possibilities!

[Heliomance]

Story of a MtF with friends, one of which is FtM, another is(what we assume to be) bi-gender/gender fluid.
http://rain.thecomicseries.com/comics/first

Who on earth are you referring to as the FtM? Pretty sure Ky and Rain are the only ones with non-typical gender identities.

[Karen Lynn]

Who on earth are you referring to as the FtM? Pretty sure Ky and Rain are the only ones with non-typical gender identities.

>.>

*rereads*

*reads another*

Dammit... Got it mixed up with Venus Envy... v.v

Ok... Fixed it... Hopefully right this time...

[KenderWizard]

We could even put the bench outside! O, the possibilities!

Nooo! The only thing worse than having to eliminate waste outside would be having to have sex outside. If I am outside and the swimsuit is not properly covered, something has gone horribly, horribly wrong for me.

[Hylleddin]

We could even put the bench outside! O, the possibilities!

For some weird reason, I find the idea of such a bench marginally less distasteful when it would be outside.

[SiuiS]

We could even put the bench outside! O, the possibilities!

"my concern isn't watching nature, it is nature watching me!"

[Al'izh'dheg]

There are lots of great voice training videos on YouTube. Oh hey, maybe we could add some of those to a list as well? :smallsmile:

~Bianca

This is actually a good idea. Along with watching videos on makeup application. My biggest stumbling block there is my allergy shiners. I have permanent (was born with them) dark circles under my eyes that fluctuate color with weather. So I don't even know what colors I should be picking. Or hairstyles or... ack! This was a discussion about voice. Right.




If it helps, I've always understood that provided you're not medically tone deaf (which you presumably aren't, if you used to be a singer), then your voice can be trained to sing. If this is something you really want, then it can happen. And the one (singing alto or soprano) might help the other (improving your voice so it's more feminine).

You're right, and it's something I've thought of before as well. Maybe one day I'll become more brave and do so. But... well, you're right. Heh


Who on earth are you referring to as the FtM? Pretty sure Ky and Rain are the only ones with non-typical gender identities.

Rain is MtF and Ky is genderfluid, genderqueer, non-gendered, or something in between all that.

[Coidzor]

^Al'izh'dheg: All things shall perish from under the sun. Music alone shall live, never to die.

Kindablue, SiuiS, Kenderwizard: Only one rule. No eye contact.

[TaiLiu]

^Al'izh'dheg: All things shall perish from under the sun. Music alone shall live, never to die.
I beg to differ. If all things have perished, who shall play the music?

[Kindablue]

Kindablue, SiuiS, Kenderwizard: Only one rule. No eye contact.

I think the biggest selling point for the poo bench is that you could chat with people at the same time.

[Arachu]

Those articles... I don't think I've ever been simultaneously so angry and depressed with the world.

*So many hugs*


@Bianca- I read you as female in all of your pictures. Very cute!

~Laura

:smallredface: Thanks! :smallbiggrin:


This is actually a good idea. Along with watching videos on makeup application. My biggest stumbling block there is my allergy shiners. I have permanent (was born with them) dark circles under my eyes that fluctuate color with weather. So I don't even know what colors I should be picking. Or hairstyles or... ack! This was a discussion about voice. Right.

Those shouldn't be too bad. I can make the ones I get from sleeping enough to look like eyeshadow just by putting eyeliner on.


You're right, and it's something I've thought of before as well. Maybe one day I'll become more brave and do so. But... well, you're right. Heh

You could just hum? There's this one exercise that involves saying "mhm" a lot, and that works well with rhythms. X3


~Bianca

[Coidzor]

I think the biggest selling point for the poo bench is that you could chat with people at the same time.

I doubt the conversation would be very edifying, even considering how vapid we normally are in our conversing.

Even the humor would wear off pretty quickly by becoming banal.

[Kindablue]

I doubt the conversation would be very edifying, even considering how vapid we normally are in our conversing.

Even the humor would wear off pretty quickly by becoming banal.

Until the novelity wears off and it becomes a normal social enviroment. In maybe a hundred years, the public restroom could be the source of all philosophy!

[Karen Lynn]

*hugs all with all the hugs*


:smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:
Just spoke with my father, and(finally...) came out to him. He says I'll always be his son, and he'll always love me, and that I need to make my own choices. "I would say you need to think about this, but it seems you've thought a lot about it already." "Yeah, half my life..." "Well, still. I love you, and you'll always be my son, and you need to make your own life."

Went on to about how he always thought I never really fit in, and always tried so hard, and then compared me to Sheldon from Big Bang Theory... >.>

Not sure exactly how I feel about that...

So... Win?

And I confronted him on the story I heard from Sis, and his response was simply: "What?!" And pointed out the obvious to me.

<3

Sorry, just super excited right now!
:smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:

[Viera Champion]

*hugs all with all the hugs*


:smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:
Just spoke with my father, and(finally...) came out to him. He says I'll always be his son, and he'll always love me, and that I need to make my own choices. "I would say you need to think about this, but it seems you've thought a lot about it already." "Yeah, half my life..." "Well, still. I love you, and you'll always be my son, and you need to make your own life."

Went on to about how he always thought I never really fit in, and always tried so hard, and then compared me to Sheldon from Big Bang Theory... >.>

Not sure exactly how I feel about that...

So... Win?

And I confronted him on the story I heard from Sis, and his response was simply: "What?!" And pointed out the obvious to me.

<3

Sorry, just super excited right now!
:smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:

YAYYYYYYY!!!

[Kittenwolf]

*hugs all with all the hugs*


:smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:
Just spoke with my father, and(finally...) came out to him. He says I'll always be his son, and he'll always love me, and that I need to make my own choices. "I would say you need to think about this, but it seems you've thought a lot about it already." "Yeah, half my life..." "Well, still. I love you, and you'll always be my son, and you need to make your own life."

Went on to about how he always thought I never really fit in, and always tried so hard, and then compared me to Sheldon from Big Bang Theory... >.>

Not sure exactly how I feel about that...

So... Win?

And I confronted him on the story I heard from Sis, and his response was simply: "What?!" And pointed out the obvious to me.

<3

Sorry, just super excited right now!
:smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:

Woohoo!! That's awesome :D
*Hugs*
Huge congratulations to you!!!

Don't worry too much on the Sheldon thing, my parents and granddad have compared me to him as well, even though everyone else who knows me went "WTF? No!".
Clearly "Talks about stuff that we don't understand immediately or goes over our heads = Sheldon" :)

[TaiLiu]

Oh, wonderful! The drinking celebration, then?

[Karen Lynn]

Oh, wonderful! The drinking celebration, then?

Yes! I need drink suggestions now. :3

[Coidzor]

Yes! I need drink suggestions now. :3

Magner's Irish cider. Angry Orchard's crisp apple flavor. Redd's Apple Ale. Any of Woodchuck's line of ciders.

[Kittenwolf]

Magner's Irish cider. Angry Orchard's crisp apple flavor. Redd's Apple Ale. Any of Woodchuck's line of ciders.

I confess I'm more of a Kopperberg and Rekorderlig guy/girl personally, but glad to see I'm not the only one who goes straight for the cider :)

[Karen Lynn]

I will ask if they have any of those. I'm more of a Guinness girl, but... This Irish pub has a lot of good drinks on tap.

Drink edit: not a fan of Magner's. It was from a can, but had a sour center flavor. Like, sweet - sweet - sour - sweet.

Just had Woodchuck's Oak aged cider. Smokey, soft, light... I like it.

[TaiLiu]

Hm. I don't know anything about alcoholic drinks...

Tea?

[Karen Lynn]

No luck on tea, but if you recommend something, I'll have it tomorrow.

[Mystic Muse]

The best kind of beer there is!

ROOT Beer. :smallbiggrin:

I enjoy it, but you might not. I'm still not 21, so I can't have alcoholic drinks just yet. I have the feeling I'll still prefer Root Beer over the alcoholic version though.

[Karen Lynn]

The best kind of beer there is!

ROOT Beer. :smallbiggrin:

I enjoy it, but you might not. I'm still not 21, so I can't have alcoholic drinks just yet. I have the feeling I'll still prefer Root Beer over the alcoholic version though.

*hugs* silly! As long as its A&W, IBC, Sprecker's, or Mug, in that order, we're good. :3

[TaiLiu]

No luck on tea, but if you recommend something, I'll have it tomorrow.
You mean to say that I'm permitted to bully you into drinking what I want you to drink? :smalleek:

The best kind of beer there is!

ROOT Beer. :smallbiggrin:

I enjoy it, but you might not. I'm still not 21, so I can't have alcoholic drinks just yet. I have the feeling I'll still prefer Root Beer over the alcoholic version though.
Hm. Personally, I've never seen the appeal myself. How does one make root beer, anyway?

[Mystic Muse]

*hugs* silly! As long as its A&W, IBC, Sprecker's, or Mug, in that order, we're good. :3

I personally like Mug best.

Also, just a thing with me now, I much prefer something like "*Offers Hugs*" to "*hugs*" at this point. Sometimes, I'm just not in a bodily contact mood.



Hm. Personally, I've never seen the appeal myself. How does one make root beer, anyway?

I just go to a store and pick up a 24 pack.

[TaiLiu]

I personally like Mug best.

Also, just a thing with me now, I much prefer something like "*Offers Hugs*" to "*hugs*" at this point. Sometimes, I'm just not in a bodily contact mood.
Could you really call it body contact, though? No bodies have be contacted.

[Arachu]

*hugs all with all the hugs*


:smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:
Just spoke with my father, and(finally...) came out to him. He says I'll always be his son, and he'll always love me, and that I need to make my own choices. "I would say you need to think about this, but it seems you've thought a lot about it already." "Yeah, half my life..." "Well, still. I love you, and you'll always be my son, and you need to make your own life."

Went on to about how he always thought I never really fit in, and always tried so hard, and then compared me to Sheldon from Big Bang Theory... >.>

Not sure exactly how I feel about that...

So... Win?

And I confronted him on the story I heard from Sis, and his response was simply: "What?!" And pointed out the obvious to me.

<3

Sorry, just super excited right now!
:smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:

I'm... Sorta confused right now but also really really happy! ^_^


The best kind of beer there is!

ROOT Beer. :smallbiggrin:

I enjoy it, but you might not. I'm still not 21, so I can't have alcoholic drinks just yet. I have the feeling I'll still prefer Root Beer over the alcoholic version though.

Now I wanna know if there's alcoholic root beer. :B


~Bianca

[Karen Lynn]

You mean to say that I'm permitted to bully you into drinking what I want you to drink? :smalleek:

Hm. Personally, I've never seen the appeal myself. How does one make root beer, anyway?

Yes.

Its made from a root, and was originally called Sasparilla(I do not even know how to spell that... *dies*).

I personally like Mug best.

Also, just a thing with me now, I much prefer something like "*Offers Hugs*" to "*hugs*" at this point. Sometimes, I'm just not in a bodily contact mood.

*offers hugs, then*
---
Why confused?

[TaiLiu]

Now I wanna know if there's alcoholic root beer. :B
~Bianca
Wikipedia said 'Yes.'

Yes.
Oh, all this power...

[SiuiS]

Nooo! The only thing worse than having to eliminate waste outside would be having to have sex outside. If I am outside and the swimsuit is not properly covered, something has gone horribly, horribly wrong for me.

Is that a matter of decency, observatioanlisn, or control? If you have like, an abandoned mountaintop with a forest pagoda, is there a poit that it beig open gets wiggy despite the lack of observers?

Is it the breeze? I bet it's the breeze. Man getting cold would suck.


For some weird reason, I find the idea of such a bench marginally less distasteful when it would be outside.

The improved ventilation, doubtless :smallwink:


I think the biggest selling point for the poo bench is that you could chat with people at the same time.

I think the worst selling point would be splinters. And you know some prat with a penknife will come along and carve 4:20 or Metallica into it in block letters right on your favorite seat.

Goodness, imagine the sepsis such a splinter would cause :smalleek:


Until the novelity wears off and it becomes a normal social enviroment. In maybe a hundred years, the public restroom could be the source of all philosophy!

I mean, you ain't goin' anywhere, right? Might as well be productive.


Magner's Irish cider. Angry Orchard's crisp apple flavor. Redd's Apple Ale. Any of Woodchuck's line of ciders.

Yes. Oh so good! Redds is currently my favorite, for it's mix of delicious and acquirable.

[TaiLiu]

Okay, I have decided! Karen, you shall drink Lychee wine!

[Karen Lynn]

Sadly, they did not have Angry Orchard or Redd's.

Lychee wine? Not available at the pub, but I will find this stuff, and drink at least a glass of it. *goes to the sushi place next door*

[TaiLiu]

Lychee wine? Not available at the pub, but I will find this stuff, and drink at least a glass of it. *goes to the sushi place next door*
Lychee wine is of Chinese origin. Your sushi place sells it? Also: tell me how it tastes!

[Karen Lynn]

Lychee wine is of Chinese origin. Your sushi place sells it? Also: tell me how it tastes!

It's a Japanese place, but they're closed. :( I will check tomorrow, however!

[TaiLiu]

It's a Japanese place, but they're closed. :( I will check tomorrow, however!
Hooray for bullying!

[Selpharia]

*hugs all with all the hugs*


:smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:
Just spoke with my father, and(finally...) came out to him. He says I'll always be his son, and he'll always love me, and that I need to make my own choices. "I would say you need to think about this, but it seems you've thought a lot about it already." "Yeah, half my life..." "Well, still. I love you, and you'll always be my son, and you need to make your own life."

Went on to about how he always thought I never really fit in, and always tried so hard, and then compared me to Sheldon from Big Bang Theory... >.>

Not sure exactly how I feel about that...

So... Win?

And I confronted him on the story I heard from Sis, and his response was simply: "What?!" And pointed out the obvious to me.

<3

Sorry, just super excited right now!
:smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:

* celebration hugs*

Congratulations, Karen! Enjoy whatever drink you end up having, it's well deserved!

On a related note: Is it just me, or do fathers tend to be nonplussed rather than flat-out denying the possibility of transness when their child comes out, and while not precisely accepting, at least more willing to grant autonomy than mothers? It's probably just my anecdotal experience shaping the data I look at, but it sometimes seems that way.

~Laura

[Coidzor]

On a related note: Is it just me, or do fathers tend to be nonplussed rather than flat-out denying the possibility of transness when their child comes out, and while not precisely accepting, at least more willing to grant autonomy than mothers? It's probably just my anecdotal experience shaping the data I look at, but it sometimes seems that way.

Well, this is completely off the cuff, but it's usually the mother who is "supposed" to be obsessed with getting grandkids out of their offspring, right? And society loves to dump on mothers for failing their children if their children deviate from norms, like back when they blamed mothers for children having autism-spectrum, and even laying that aside, they're more associated with and judged by their children on a moral worth as a human being level partially due to male privilege and, I think, the association between motherhood and rearing children directly whereas fatherhood is still more thought of as primarily supporting the mother and offspring financially.

So, given my limited knowledge of such things, it seems possible and might even be plausible. *shrug* :smallconfused: I don't really have a whole lot of anecdotes about the difference between mothers and fathers in coming out stories in my quick-recall memory.

[Karen Lynn]

* celebration hugs*

Congratulations, Karen! Enjoy whatever drink you end up having, it's well deserved!

On a related note: Is it just me, or do fathers tend to be nonplussed rather than flat-out denying the possibility of transness when their child comes out, and while not precisely accepting, at least more willing to grant autonomy than mothers? It's probably just my anecdotal experience shaping the data I look at, but it sometimes seems that way.

~Laura

Either way, this little bit from my father has really improved my mood. I've been rather down these past few days in particular...

[Kindablue]

I think the worst selling point would be splinters. And you know some prat with a penknife will come along and carve 4:20 or Metallica into it in block letters right on your favorite seat.

Goodness, imagine the sepsis such a splinter would cause :smalleek:

I think even the Romans used stone. The modern poo bench could have all the comfort and functionality we expect from a restroom without the awkward, pretended isolation we also expect from a restroom.

[SiuiS]

* celebration hugs*

Congratulations, Karen! Enjoy whatever drink you end up having, it's well deserved!

On a related note: Is it just me, or do fathers tend to be nonplussed rather than flat-out denying the possibility of transness when their child comes out, and while not precisely accepting, at least more willing to grant autonomy than mothers? It's probably just my anecdotal experience shaping the data I look at, but it sometimes seems that way.



I'm in the opposite boat. I figure my mother would have been confused but fine, nd haven't told my father because I don't want to explain how being disowned doesn't really mean anything except I won't feel bad for not calling for months.


I think even the Romans used stone. The modern poo bench could have all the comfort and functionality we expect from a restroom without the awkward, pretended isolation we also expect from a restroom.

awkward, pretended isolation? I'm sorry, have you forgotten I live in a household full of cats? They know how to open the bathroom door. They learned. toilet time is when you can't run away.

I locked the door out of reflex this morning, and had five minutes of laughter over Punkin's pitiable caterwauling. Apparently not being able to snuggle me at that exact moment in time positively ruined his day. That, or his soul was being struck by dark, necromantic voodo forces, because he was in some distress I tell you what.

[TaiLiu]

I'm in the opposite boat. I figure my mother would have been confused but fine, nd haven't told my father because I don't want to explain how being disowned doesn't really mean anything except I won't feel bad for not calling for months.
Do you really think your family will disown you? I mean, disowning someone is a very extreme measure... :smalleek:

[Karen Lynn]

Do you really think your family will disown you? I mean, disowning someone is a very extreme measure... :smalleek:

Considering I had to ask my father to promise not to disown me before coming out...

[TaiLiu]

Considering I had to ask my father to promise not to disown me before coming out...
Yes, but would he have disowned you? He was very supportive of you.

[Karen Lynn]

I didn't know he'd be supportive. I was scared. We've never really been close, in my eyes...

[TaiLiu]

I didn't know he'd be supportive. I was scared. We've never really been close, in my eyes...
Ah, yes. That is a reasonable response, both then and now.

[Kindablue]

Aloof, disinterested fathers and nosey, protective mothers is the stereotype, yes. It's certainly what I got.


awkward, pretended isolation? I'm sorry, have you forgotten I live in a household full of cats? They know how to open the bathroom door. They learned. toilet time is when you can't run away.
Truly terrifying.

[SiuiS]

Do you really think your family will disown you? I mean, disowning someone is a very extreme measure... :smalleek:

When I was... 15, I think? I read something in class while waiting for the rest to catch up, about the origin of the phrase catch-22. According t o this blurb, it came from bombers in wartime. If you were insane, you couldn't fly a bomber, because you weren't fit for duty. So if you were a bomber, you could get out of it by pleading insanity. But if you had enough concern for your own safety, then you were sane and couldn't get out of bombing runs.

I found that interesting, and brought it up conversationally. Unfortunately, it ran right into his sense of patriotism. The words being willing to bomb in wartime qualifies you as insane don't sit well with an ex infantry paratrooper.

I don't relate to any living member of my family. I'm far too fey. This would be just another dividing line, and one that comes askance any religious or social inertia they would bear. So, aye, I think that it's entirely possible I would be disowned so my sister's new little girl isn't exposed to "people like me" or similar.

Theres no emotion involved, though, on my part. It's a disconnected issue, kinda strange. Like, I know it's a problem on paper, so I worry about that, rather than any actuality to the subject.

[Eirala]

*hugs all with all the hugs*


:smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:
Just spoke with my father, and(finally...) came out to him. He says I'll always be his son, and he'll always love me, and that I need to make my own choices. "I would say you need to think about this, but it seems you've thought a lot about it already." "Yeah, half my life..." "Well, still. I love you, and you'll always be my son, and you need to make your own life."

Went on to about how he always thought I never really fit in, and always tried so hard, and then compared me to Sheldon from Big Bang Theory... >.>

Not sure exactly how I feel about that...

So... Win?

And I confronted him on the story I heard from Sis, and his response was simply: "What?!" And pointed out the obvious to me.

<3

Sorry, just super excited right now!
:smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:

*hugglomp* Congrats, Karen!




On a related note: Is it just me, or do fathers tend to be nonplussed rather than flat-out denying the possibility of transness when their child comes out, and while not precisely accepting, at least more willing to grant autonomy than mothers? It's probably just my anecdotal experience shaping the data I look at, but it sometimes seems that way.

~Laura

In my case my father was more denying than my mum. At the moment i already have the support of my mum, i didn't really talk about being trans* with my dad except for my coming out.



Well, this is completely off the cuff, but it's usually the mother who is "supposed" to be obsessed with getting grandkids out of their offspring, right?

My mum definitely would love grandchildren, she is the more supporting parent though. I guess caring about your child is after all more important than the wish for grandchildren (which is good).

[Heliomance]

* celebration hugs*

Congratulations, Karen! Enjoy whatever drink you end up having, it's well deserved!

On a related note: Is it just me, or do fathers tend to be nonplussed rather than flat-out denying the possibility of transness when their child comes out, and while not precisely accepting, at least more willing to grant autonomy than mothers? It's probably just my anecdotal experience shaping the data I look at, but it sometimes seems that way.

~Laura

My parents were both completely accepting, though it took them both a wile to get it - dad longer than mum, I think. Mum did make disappointed noises about grandchildren, then was thoroughly confused when I pointed out that, as I'm still primarily attracted to females, banking genetic material is an option!

Why does the idea of a trans lesbian confuse so many people, even when they're okay with both lesbians and trans stuff?

[Lentrax]

Probably most likely because they associate transmen with being gay, so they,are the, to them, logical leap of, "You must be attracted to men."

I think.

[Asta Kask]

Something along the lines of "By why would you change to a woman if you want to have sex with women? Wouldn't it be better to stay a man?"

[Mono Vertigo]

I don't think I should have read these articles.
Hugs? Hugs for y'all. And then I'm going to give a few more once BF comes back from work. :smallfrown:

[Al'izh'dheg]

Why does the idea of a trans lesbian confuse so many people, even when they're okay with both lesbians and trans stuff?

Interestingly enough, when I was in college, I ended up working with a couple of girls in my class who were obviously into each other. We got to talking one night after class and they ended up coming out to me. So... I ended up coming out to them.

All was all fine and good up to this point. Keep in mind one of the two girls was *extremely* androgynous. To the point that I had a *very* difficult time clocking her. Her name was "Alex," which is commonly male, but not always. Voice was neutral. No breasts to speak of. Dressed in a male fashion but very slight of frame. Male haircut. But despite all the social cues of "male" something kept waffling back and fort for me.

Anyway, when I came out, I explained that I'm very much a lesbian and Alex said, "Don't take this the wrong way, but I never understood transgendered people being gay." It wasn't said in an attacking sort of way. She was very polite about it, but obviously just didn't "get" it.

Well, finally my sense of politeness fell away to my curiosity and I said, "You're a transmale, aren't you?" She told me that she had just come out of a very intense, loving relationship that ended badly when she wanted to begin transition. Apparently her (his) lesbian lover was not interested in a relationship with a man.

Anyway, he's a great guy, but even amongst other trans* folk, the concept of being trans* and lesbian is a bit of a mystery. :)

[Astrella]

Anyway, he's a great guy, but even amongst other trans* folk, the concept of being trans* and lesbian is a bit of a mystery. :)

Which is odd, considering the biggest study out there has only about 1/3 of trans women being straight.

For reasons; it's just because people conflate gender and sexuality all the time. Same reason why the most common queer stereotypes are feminine gay men and butch lesbians. Being attracted to men is seen as a feminine trait, being attracted to women is seen as a masculine trait by society. Also enforced heteronormativity. So then you get the whole "why transition as a trans woman if you're attracted to women?" And the fact that trans people are often seen as super-gay (by assigned-gender).

Edit; I'll reply to the others thing later but thank you all for the compliments. :smallsmile: And what happened to Ms Meadows is truly horrifying. :C

[KenderWizard]

Magner's Irish cider. Angry Orchard's crisp apple flavor. Redd's Apple Ale. Any of Woodchuck's line of ciders.

Note: In Ireland, it's Bulmer's. The exported Bulmer's is named Magner's instead. I have no idea why. But if you like it, and you're in Ireland, you wanna ask for Bulmer's. I like cider and I'll have a Bulmer's but I prefer sharper ones, Bulmer's is hella sweet.

Also, in the States I found "Kelly's Real Irish Hard Cider" and fell around laughing. There's no such thing as "Hard Cider" in Ireland. Cider is alcoholic. Not by default, just exclusively. I like Woodchuck's too.




~Bianca

Bianca! You changed colour!


I don't think I should have read these articles.
Hugs? Hugs for y'all. And then I'm going to give a few more once BF comes back from work. :smallfrown:

((huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs))

[Mina Kobold]

Congrats, Karen. Hope your peeps improve their understanding soon. ^_^

On the topic of drinks: I have sadly very little knowledge about alcohol. All I know is that the smell to me is exactly what I expected of rotting sugar filtered through mould (Kidveak was not the most accurate Veak.), except for absinthe, which smells like liquorice. I do hear that Johnny Jump Up was good, though. :3

On latrines: I'm with the main Kender, the option of privacy is not worth the awkward conversations and the silly image of people sitting on a stone bench trying not to make eye contact. ^_^'
However, that does sound like a way to make urinals unisex, so no objectio to adding them to the restroom décor. :smallsmile:

Oh, and since there have been terrible news lately, I thought I would post some cheerful news and cat-related shenanigans:

A nine-year old making an RPG to prove brothers wrong and inspire gender equality in STEM fields. (http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/susanwilson/9-year-old-building-an-rpg-to-prove-her-brothers-w)

Hobbit Cats (http://noukah.deviantart.com/art/The-Hobbit-Fanart-Large-version-347629387)

Crow-sized Pterosaur discovered by 5-year old. (http://news.sky.com/story/1066984/pterosaur-dinosaur-named-after-daisy-morris) (Article erroneously calls it a flying dinosaur, however. ^_^')

Not the most relevant stuff, but I thought it might be a little cheerful. Maybe? :smallredface:

[Al'izh'dheg]

Which is odd, considering the biggest study out there has only about 1/3 of trans women being straight.



True. However, I did read someplace (that I can't find right now. I did look though) that it is much less common for a transman to be gay as it is for a transwoman to be lesbian.

[Asta Kask]

On the origin of cats (www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNrt90MJL08)

[Arachu]

I don't think I should have read these articles.
Hugs? Hugs for y'all. And then I'm going to give a few more once BF comes back from work. :smallfrown:

*Hugs!*


Bianca! You changed colour!

I do that sometimes. Usually I go with shades of blue, purple or green but I think I've used red twice now. :smalltongue:

(... I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to anyone I just realized I might have alarmed by using red text. DXD )


Oh, and since there have been terrible news lately, I thought I would post some cheerful news and cat-related shenanigans:

A nine-year old making an RPG to prove brothers wrong and inspire gender equality in STEM fields. (http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/susanwilson/9-year-old-building-an-rpg-to-prove-her-brothers-w)

Hobbit Cats (http://noukah.deviantart.com/art/The-Hobbit-Fanart-Large-version-347629387)

Crow-sized Pterosaur discovered by 5-year old. (http://news.sky.com/story/1066984/pterosaur-dinosaur-named-after-daisy-morris) (Article erroneously calls it a flying dinosaur, however. ^_^')

Not the most relevant stuff, but I thought it might be a little cheerful. Maybe? :smallredface:

Those are neat. :smallbiggrin:

~Bianca

[Lea Plath]

I feel sad now :< I compulsively click anything Serpentine links, cause they are always good but damn. Lots of sad stuff and some really really nasty stuff that I ain't going to link.

[Karen Lynn]

*offers hugs for Lea*

[Asta Kask]

I feel sad now :< I compulsively click anything Serpentine links, cause they are always good but damn. Lots of sad stuff and some really really nasty stuff that I ain't going to link.

Will you bite me if I hug you? :smalleek:

[Mina Kobold]

On the origin of cats (www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNrt90MJL08)

Aron Ra! Yays! ^_^


I feel sad now :< I compulsively click anything Serpentine links, cause they are always good but damn. Lots of sad stuff and some really really nasty stuff that I ain't going to link.

*Offers of hugs, affections and bite-able Kobold tail*

[Lix Lorn]

Will you bite me if I hug you? :smalleek:
Yes. Yes she will.

(Never clicks links anymore)

[Lea Plath]

If I bite you gently, it is a good thing. If I bite you hard, then try and drink your insides it is a bad thing.

*Bites and chews everyone happily*

[Asta Kask]

*gulp*

*hugs Lea*

*runs and hides*

[ScionoftheVoid]

*hugs Lea, is bitten*

Mostly stopping in to say that the whole situation with that teacher is truly appalling, and to offer supportive hugs for anyone who wants them. *has not read most of the other links, because they don't seem cheery enough for me to want to deal with right now*

[Heliomance]

Note: In Ireland, it's Bulmer's. The exported Bulmer's is named Magner's instead. I have no idea why. But if you like it, and you're in Ireland, you wanna ask for Bulmer's. I like cider and I'll have a Bulmer's but I prefer sharper ones, Bulmer's is hella sweet.

Fairly sure Bulmer's and Magner's are different things. Certainly you can get both really easily in England.

[Castaras]

And there's a few zillion varieties of Bulmers as well. I'm partial to the strawberry Bulmers, to be honest...

[Karen Lynn]

Well, sushi place has Lychee-Tinis, but no Lychee Wine. Sweet and light. Very much yum. Goes great with a tempura shrimp or spicy tuna roll.

[Chess435]

*Bites Lea to see how see reacts, then runs away cackling*

[KenderWizard]

Fairly sure Bulmer's and Magner's are different things. Certainly you can get both really easily in England.

That's weird. They're _definitely_ the same thing, identical but for the name. The design of the bottles and everything is the same.

Having looked at the wikipedia article (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magners), which is filed under "Magners", it seems the original guy and company were called "Magner", and the company was bought out by Mr Bulmer, who changed the name, and then the international product was unrenamed back to Magners but is still sold in Ireland as Bulmers. We constantly learn.

Anyway, it's still not great cider. :smalltongue:

[Karen Lynn]

I can agree that Magner's isn't all that great.

[Coidzor]

Yeesh, you don't like my suggestion. We've gotten that by now. :smalltongue:

[Karen Lynn]

Hey! It wasn't terrible! Maybe it was the fact it was served in a can...

[Akowrules]

The best way to know it's a good day is when one of the hottest guys on the gymnastics team gets stuck inside the stunting ring and he has to strip to his boxer briefs to wiggle his way out of it. I'm still blushing even now, hehe. :smallredface:

[Karen Lynn]

The best way to know it's a good day is when one of the hottest guys on the gymnastics team gets stuck inside the stunting ring and he has to strip to his boxer briefs to wiggle his way out of it. I'm still blushing even now, hehe. :smallredface:

Ooohhh.... :smallredface:

[Coidzor]

Stunting Ring?

[Akowrules]

Stunting Ring?

I'm not sure what to call it. It's like a belt, but it has a ring with balls inside so you're able to do things like cartwheels and fulls when using it. The ring is connected to cables and is used to help with tumbling.

http://www.american-gymnast.com/shop/Twisting-Belt-P391.aspx

According to that site, it's called a twisting belt.

[Arachu]

I feel sad now :< I compulsively click anything Serpentine links, cause they are always good but damn. Lots of sad stuff and some really really nasty stuff that I ain't going to link.

*Hugs*


The best way to know it's a good day is when one of the hottest guys on the gymnastics team gets stuck inside the stunting ring and he has to strip to his boxer briefs to wiggle his way out of it. I'm still blushing even now, hehe. :smallredface:

Oh my. :smallbiggrin:


~Bianca

[Kindablue]

One of the main characters on 1600 Penn came out as gay in the last episode, and it wasn't the Broadway tenor. Not... not an amazing show, but that was a pretty well done episode.

[Lix Lorn]

*Bites Lea to see how see reacts, then runs away cackling*
In my experience, she reacts by going : < and asking why you're stealing her purpose.

[TaiLiu]

Well, sushi place has Lychee-Tinis, but no Lychee Wine. Sweet and light. Very much yum. Goes great with a tempura shrimp or spicy tuna roll.
Ah, that's what I expected. Maybe I'll try one someday. Thanks for letting me submit suggestions and force you to drink alcohol!

[jebbewocky]

That's weird. They're _definitely_ the same thing, identical but for the name. The design of the bottles and everything is the same.

Having looked at the wikipedia article (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magners), which is filed under "Magners", it seems the original guy and company were called "Magner", and the company was bought out by Mr Bulmer, who changed the name, and then the international product was unrenamed back to Magners but is still sold in Ireland as Bulmers. We constantly learn.

Anyway, it's still not great cider. :smalltongue:

+1 on Magner's being awful,awful cider.

__
Hi! I just started posting here again recently, and I just wanted to say I'm an Ally, with a lot of LGBT friends and "hi!"

[TaiLiu]

+1 on Magner's being awful,awful cider.

__
Hi! I just started posting here again recently, and I just wanted to say I'm an Ally, with a lot of LGBT friends and "hi!"
Hi! :smallsmile:

[Karen Lynn]

Hello~
--
TaiLiu just wants me drunk, now. :P

[Lix Lorn]

Sounds good to me. :3

[jebbewocky]

I plan on getting pretty drunk myself once the pizza is done (drinking on empty stomach is BAAAAAD for me).

[TaiLiu]

Sounds good to me. :3
You want... You want her to have impaired judgement? :smalleek:

[Karen Lynn]

Tequila... Margarita mix... Ice... Blender...

[Akowrules]

Hmmmm. I have a gymnastics invitational meet to run tomorrow....... Yet I can't find sleep.......

[TaiLiu]

Tequila... Margarita mix... Ice... Blender...
Ah. You're planning on being intoxicated, I see.

Hmmmm. I have a gymnastics invitational meet to run tomorrow....... Yet I can't find sleep.......
Perhaps it's your excitement? Whatever the reason, the result is always vexing.

[Karen Lynn]

Just a little bit, and only when in good moods.

[SiuiS]

Hey! It wasn't terrible! Maybe it was the fact it was served in a can...

Probably. You don't get the same kind of leaching from glass.


+1 on Magner's being awful,awful cider.

__
Hi! I just started posting here again recently, and I just wanted to say I'm an Ally, with a lot of LGBT friends and "hi!"

Hi! Pleasure to meet you~

[Cerlis]

Yes, but would he have disowned you? He was very supportive of you.

Honestly i didnt pursue the information because i founds it to traumatizing (one possible flaw of mine is i find some aspects of humanity so horrifying i have to carpmentalize it out of my thoughts to keep from dwelling on it.)

but over here, at the only gay club that recently went out of business the two owners had a friend/companion/associate who lived in their spare trailer behind the club. I DO remember that this person was often the topic of discussion because even though he complained about his quality of life, that he was basically homeless if not for it. I heard tales about a nearby out of the city limits sort of campground where alot of homeless live and that is where he is from. I believe this person was so because he was disowned by his family. Further more i know that the main owner had a strong opinion on subjects such as these since i remember overhearing him on the phone describing how it was over a decade before he and his family even attempted to get back together.

Combine that with the stories of of my boyfriend's girlfriend ratting him out to the public in college and getting him kick out, as well as him no longer being able to work due to the combination of 9/11 increase in significance of background checks and a police officer entrapping him.....I think its safe to say that you only have to look back one generation to see the potential of people finding out you are gay being the thing that destroys your life (as it is).

[SiuiS]

Honestly i didnt pursue the information because i founds it to traumatizing (one possible flaw of mine is i find some aspects of humanity so horrifying i have to carpmentalize it out of my thoughts to keep from dwelling on it.)

but over here, at the only gay club that recently went out of business the two owners had a friend/companion/associate who lived in their spare trailer behind the club. I DO remember that this person was often the topic of discussion because even though he complained about his quality of life, that he was basically homeless if not for it. I heard tales about a nearby out of the city limits sort of campground where alot of homeless live and that is where he is from. I believe this person was so because he was disowned by his family. Further more i know that the main owner had a strong opinion on subjects such as these since i remember overhearing him on the phone describing how it was over a decade before he and his family even attempted to get back together.

Combine that with the stories of of my boyfriend's girlfriend ratting him out to the public in college and getting him kick out, as well as him no longer being able to work due to the combination of 9/11 increase in significance of background checks and a police officer entrapping him.....I think its safe to say that you only have to look back one generation to see the potential of people finding out you are gay being the thing that destroys your life (as it is).

It's also really swingy. Ironically, I am in a bad mood right now so I am kinda wanting to get it over with. All it takes to view something as either an unfortunate circumstance or a position of power is attitude, I suppose.

[Mynxae]

So. I just got robbed. So fun.

*is having an anxiety attack*

[Lycunadari]

Oh no! Are you okay? *hugs!*

[Asta Kask]

So. I just got robbed. So fun.

*is having an anxiety attack*

Right. What Lycunadari said. How are you?

[SiuiS]

So. I just got robbed. So fun.

*is having an anxiety attack*

Oh, honey :smallfrown:

What happened?

[Mina Kobold]

Hi! I just started posting here again recently, and I just wanted to say I'm an Ally, with a lot of LGBT friends and "hi!"

Hi! ^_^


So. I just got robbed. So fun.

*is having an anxiety attack*

Oh no, are you all right? Can we help? ._.

*Offers hugs*

[Mynxae]

Oh no! Are you okay? *hugs!*


Right. What Lycunadari said. How are you?


Oh, honey :smallfrown:

What happened?


Oh no, are you all right? Can we help? ._.

*Offers hugs*

Panicked and angry. And I immediately locked the door they came through. The only reason the door was open in the first place was so the cats could get in and out. I didn't even hear anything either, and it took place within about an hour (between 6:30pm and 7:30pm, AEST/GMT+10 Brisbane). Thankfully the only thing they got was the microwave, which was just next to the door.

[SiuiS]

Oh, man. One of those. We lost a couple hundred dollars of electric equipment once, with the door open. While my brother slept on the couch facing the front door. >_<

Dang. Any way to get clues? Anything? Or just, is this one of those things where there's little damage but you're gonna feel like poop all week? Please don't feel like poop all week. The texture is terrible.

[Mynxae]

Oh, man. One of those. We lost a couple hundred dollars of electric equipment once, with the door open. While my brother slept on the couch facing the front door. >_<

Dang. Any way to get clues? Anything? Or just, is this one of those things where there's little damage but you're gonna feel like poop all week? Please don't feel like poop all week. The texture is terrible.

Dang. Stealthy little ****!

Nope. No clues whatsoever. I'm definitely not sleeping tonight. Housemate will be back tomorrow. She and her husband have been on holiday for a week, were meant to be away for another week but are coming home early to deal with this. :smallfrown:

[Lentrax]

So long as you're okay Mynxae.

That's the important bit.

[SiuiS]

I have only rarely come away from a topic more confused after research than before. This is one of those times.

Gender in French. The language.

Two women in a relationship. How would one refer to the other?
Mon Cher? Ma Cherie? Mon Cherie? Ma Cher?

Is the possessive the same gender as the speaker or as the word used for the subject? Apparently gay men will use masculine terms for their men to imply they themselves are feminine, but gay women don't as much if at all, refer to their girlfriend as feminine to imply their own masculinity, but only occasionally use masculine terms for their girlfriends, and what is this whole lingual gender thing anyway I do not grok 6_9

Google Y U make things worse?!

[Astrella]

I have only rarely come away from a topic more confused after research than before. This is one of those times.

Gender in French. The language.

Two women in a relationship. How would one refer to the other?
Mon Cher? Ma Cherie? Mon Cherie? Ma Cher?

Is the possessive the same gender as the speaker or as the word used for the subject? Apparently gay men will use masculine terms for their men to imply they themselves are feminine, but gay women don't as much if at all, refer to their girlfriend as feminine to imply their own masculinity, but only occasionally use masculine terms for their girlfriends, and what is this whole lingual gender thing anyway I do not grok 6_9

Google Y U make things worse?!

Possessive is the same gender as the word it's with. Mon chérie and ma cher don't exist.

[Al'izh'dheg]

I have only rarely come away from a topic more confused after research than before. This is one of those times.

Gender in French. The language.

Two women in a relationship. How would one refer to the other?
Mon Cher? Ma Cherie? Mon Cherie? Ma Cher?

Is the possessive the same gender as the speaker or as the word used for the subject? Apparently gay men will use masculine terms for their men to imply they themselves are feminine, but gay women don't as much if at all, refer to their girlfriend as feminine to imply their own masculinity, but only occasionally use masculine terms for their girlfriends, and what is this whole lingual gender thing anyway I do not grok 6_9

Google Y U make things worse?!


Well, it's been over 20 years since I took French class in high school (my word I'm old!), but the Romance languages have "gender" for pretty much all nouns. The gender will determine how the noun is spelled. My teacher only told us the object being spoken about determines gender though. So a gay woman would still have a feminine spelling (unless their partner was wanting to somehow convey the message that she is the "man" in the relationship I suppose?).

That probably doesn't help. I'm certain somebody who actually speaks one or more of these languages can help clear things up.

@Mynxae: I'm so glad you are okay. I know you're freaked out, but you're safe and that's what's important.

[SiuiS]

Possessive is the same gender as the word it's with. Mon chérie and ma cher don't exist.

That makes sense. I had the misfortune of finding the most "useful" information in a study that surveyed people and was making a point for changing the language and rules of gender to account for such things. I actually had less an idea coming out than going in, what was going on. >_<

My poor noggin...

[Al'izh'dheg]

Interestingly enough, gender came up fairly recently in Germany. Apparently people get upset when you imply a divine being may be gender-neutral.

German Family Minister Suggests God Has No Gender (http://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/german-family-minister-slammed-for-suggesting-god-has-no-gender-a-874316.html)

[Asta Kask]

Possessive determinants are adjectives, so they always have the same gender as the noun. And case, I think?

[Mina Kobold]

Possessive is the same gender as the word it's with. Mon chérie and ma cher don't exist.

Mon chéri and ma chère do exist as variants on chérie and cher, don't they? Dictionary says so, but it is probably less correct than people who actually speak the language as a first language. ^_^


Interestingly enough, gender came up fairly recently in Germany. Apparently people get upset when you imply a divine being may be gender-neutral.

German Family Minister Suggests God Has No Gender (http://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/german-family-minister-slammed-for-suggesting-god-has-no-gender-a-874316.html)

I would make a comment here, but religion and politics are against forum rules, so I will instead agree that deities can be gender neutral. Would actually surprise me if R'lyeh's inhabitants followed human gender norms in the slightest. :3

[Asta Kask]

I would make a comment here, but religion and politics are against forum rules, so I will instead agree that deities can be gender neutral. Would actually surprise me if R'lyeh's inhabitants followed human gender norms in the slightest. :3

Imagine Cthulhu coming in for SRS...