The most horrible weapons EVER!!!!!

[RedDragons]

What is the most horrible weapon, you have actually used in game and made your fellow players look in disgust?

[Norin]

improvised weapon rat corpse.... later used as helmet. was a tight fit and not very effective as either.... :smallfrown:

[Than]

I honestly don't expect anyone to top that... Ick.

[Nettlekid]

Another PC. I love Bloodstorm Blade.

[GreenSerpent]

My previous character tied up and gagged on a rope being used as a reach weapon with spellcasting capability.

[randomhero00]

My barbarian put an annoying gnome in a sack and swung it around as a weapon. Gnome didn't make it...

[Andezzar]

improvised weapon rat corpse.... later used as helmet. was a tight fit and not very effective as either.... :smallfrown:Isn't that helmet exactly as effective as any other non-magical helmet i.e. not at all?

[drax75]

Weapon Master was a old 3.0 mongoose prestige class gave you a stacking version of improved crit. You could also pump up the crit multiplier a few times per day.

Zweihander was a 3d4 weapon 19-20x3 (this was from the swashbuckling adventures game)

Then i made it Keen, Speed, and Viscous, and before the Monkey grip change i Dual wielded them.

SO with Keen, Improved Critical, and the Weapon Master ability i had the crit range down to about a 12-20 and i could pump the modifier to i think it was x5.... And i had 2 of them, and i had like a 42 STR on my character.

I destroyed things.

[Squirrel_Dude]

Every time someone brings this up, I will always point to this giant turd. Many people don't like how Pathfinder did guns, but it's not because of this "beauty."



{table]Weapon | Price | Dmg (S) | Dmg (M) | Critical | Range | Misfire | Capacity | Weight | Type | Special
Fire lance | 25 gp | 1d4 | 1d6 | ×4 | 10 ft. | 1–4 (5 ft.) | 1 |4 lbs. | P | —[/table]

This primitive firearm is nothing more than a long tube that, when ignited, propels a short gout of flame and a javelin. Unlike other firearms, the fire lance is wildly imprecise, and targets AC rather than touch AC. A fire lance is always treated as having the broken condition for the purpose of determining the effects of a misfire. A fire lances uses a javelin and 2 doses of black powder as ammunition. Emphasis mine.

That's right, you can pay for 2 doses of black powder, the exotic weapon proficiency feat, and a 20% chance to blow yourself up for the chance to fire a javelin from a tube with a 20 ft. shorter range increment and the same damage dice. The same javelin you are wasting by putting it in the stupid tube in the first place.

[dysprosium]

I love to make NPCs use the gyrspike. My players not so much.

[Callin]

Back in AD&D I tied an Iron Pot to the end of a rope and swung it around like a flail with reach.

[OverdrivePrime]

Five words.
http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w219/mwellenstein/thesearenotthehammer-1_zpsa4e37cb3.jpg
These are Not the Hammer.

Not my character, but horrifyingly hilarious to watch a goblin get bashed into unconsciousness by a pantsless barbarian.

[CTrees]

Dual stump knives. Other weapons, you can at least throw away as soon as you fi d something better (for instance, a stick). If you're dual-wielding stump knives, you're pretty stuck with those or unarmed strikes.

Makes for a fantasic enemy, though.

[Keneth]

snip

Oh unnamed deity, I lol'd audibly. I've been playing PF since the release and I've never noticed that weapon. :smallbiggrin:

[Ravenica]

Every time someone brings this up, I will always point to this giant turd. Many people don't like how Pathfinder did guns, but it's not because of this "beauty."

Emphasis mine.

That's right, you can pay for 2 doses of black powder, the exotic weapon proficiency feat, and a 20% chance to blow yourself up for the chance to fire a javelin from a tube with a 20 ft. shorter range increment and the same damage dice. The same javelin you are wasting by putting it in the stupid tube in the first place.

the caveat being at least it is hitting touch ac in the first increment (or further will grit abilities) which can actually make it slightly more useful

[Ianuagonde]

The fat halfling Cleric.

He needed to get to a party member who was dying on the floor below. Getting there would take too long with his 15ft speed, so he asked my knight 'just toss me'. I deemed this an inefficient use of an action; I wanted to attack the enemy to stop him causing damage. After two seconds of thinking, I decided to toss the halfling at the enemy looming over our fallen ally. First time in 20 years of gaming I was asked if my character was proficient with halflings.

Later on, the cleric found a feat called Tub of Lard, which among other things increases the damage you do when you're thrown at an enemy. Needless to say, he took it.

[Squirrel_Dude]

the caveat being at least it is hitting touch ac in the first increment (or further will grit abilities) which can actually make it slightly more usefulRead it again. It doesn't hit touch AC, it hits normal AC.

[TheIronGolem]

One of my players once used a live squirrel as an improvised thrown weapon. Not only did it not survive the attempt, but it didn't even hit the skeleton it was thrown at.

[Ravenica]

Read it again. It doesn't hit touch AC, it hits normal AC.

derp thats what I get for posting in bed lol

[johnroth]

I once participated in a game where someone died a demon baby to the end of a stick. It could make grapple attempts when it connected. They got a lot of mileage out of that baby flail...

[Sugashane]

A frying pan (he got the idea after replaying Final Fantasy 2 and using a pan to revive Yang). He later had it magically enchanted to do healing damage.

My hulking hurler throw the warforged (some variant or class feature so he has adamantine plate), who is a juggernaut and has spikes all over his body. Weighing 1500 pounds and spikes makes him do double damage. One arm is an axe with a big spike on top, so if my roll was a 15 or higher (accuracy for him being thrown flat like a spear) he gets to make an attack at a -4 penalty.

We had one character who had a bull specially bred like a Belgian blue and trained for a mount. A charge build with an animal that may get a gore at the end was pretty neat. The shoulders were so big the saddle had to sit further back, so the bull and the lance literally hit almost simultaneously.

We had one kid who only played for maybe 2 months. He was obsessed with ninjas and stealth so his weapons were ONLY: blowgun, shurikens, and sling. Our DM even let him rename the monk class and get the bastard, long, and small swords added to their proficiencies. Still didn't use them, and he was set on never directly entering melee. :smallsigh:

[Squirrel_Dude]

derp thats what I get for posting in bed lolOH, I don't blame you for assuming it hit touch AC like all other gunpowder weapons, as that would be the only way for it to have the slightest modicum of usefulness.

[Chilingsworth]

That firelance looks like it could be useful... if it was repurposed for making a pipebomb. :smallbiggrin:

On another note, done by party members, not me:

Used the stem of a giant mushroom as an improvised greatclub.

Used a bunch of chair and table legs as clubs.

Both happened when fighting oozes without actual bludegoning weapons. And/or after having the character's primary weapon get damaged or destroyed.

[BRC]

Rules light homebrew system with lots of Mad Science. Most rules/decisions were the result of whatever popped into my head at the time.

This lead to the creation of the "Torsoporter".
For when your enemies torsos are attached to the rest of them, and you would prefer they not be.

[Baroncognito]

That's right, you can pay for 2 doses of black powder, the exotic weapon proficiency feat, and a 20% chance to blow yourself up for the chance to fire a javelin from a tube with a 20 ft. shorter range increment and the same damage dice. The same javelin you are wasting by putting it in the stupid tube in the first place.

But with a goblin musket master, she'd get dex to damage instead of strength. And the attack is almost guaranteed to get the bonus from point blank shot every time she fires.

This is kind of tempting. Not that it'd be the most optimized character, but it could be fun.

[nedz]

That firelance looks like it could be useful... if it was repurposed for making a pipebomb. :smallbiggrin:


Light the fuse
Throw it at the enemy
20% chance of it blowing up
Grenade !


Is there anyway that you might be able to make it less reliable ?
I.e. more likely to explode.

[Baroncognito]

Light the fuse
Throw it at the enemy
20% chance of it blowing up
Grenade !


Is there anyway that you might be able to make it less reliable ?
I.e. more likely to explode.

Well, if it's broken, the misfire rate increases by 4. And an alchemical cartridge would get the misfire rate up by 1.

That gets you a total of a misrate rate of 9.

However, since it just does the weapon damage on an explosion, it's a lot of money to do 1d6 damage over a five foot radius.

[Akto]

Was flying over Ocean, had Monk tied to robe i was holding, got attacked by demons decided it was a good idea to swing the robe around and lanch the monk at the demons, got a natural 20 and confirmed...

First time i have ever crit'ed using a monk as a weapon, further more i got a nice damage output after calculating what kind of damage a human monk does and because i critted DM ruled that i had hit it so precise the monk was allowed to make a grapple attack when he hit and the demon got grappled so he was still able to fly but couldn't fight back, was awesome :smallbiggrin:

[Squirrel_Dude]

Light the fuse
Throw it at the enemy
20% chance of it blowing up
Grenade !


Is there anyway that you might be able to make it less reliable ?
I.e. more likely to explode.
If you're nonproficient with a firearm, reloading a firearm increases the misfire chance by 4, so it would go from 20% to 40%. In addition if you give the weapon the broken condition you can increase by 4 again.

So a nonproficient character could make it: Base 1-4 + 4 for being broken and nonproficient + 4 for reloading without being proficient for a total of a total misfire range of 1-12.

Use a flame alchemical cartridge to increase that by 2 again, to make it 1-14

So that would give you a 70% chance for it to blow up. The blast would do half-1d6 piercing damage to all creatures in a 5ft radius, Reflex save DC 12 for half damage, and all creatures within 20ft are dazzled, Fort save DC 15 negates. You could try a similar trick with the entangle cartridge.


Well, if it's broken, the misfire rate increases by 4. And an alchemical cartridge would get the misfire rate up by 1.Fire Lances are actually considered to be always broken, but the alchemical cartridge is a good idea. I'll add that to the math above.

And looking at all that... I think it might be slightly more effective as a bomb than as a weapon. I... don't even know what to say about it at this point...

[Baroncognito]

And if it were a colossal fire lance, it would do 4d6 damage.

[Baroncognito]

Fire Lances are actually considered to be always broken

Only for determining the outcome of a misfire. If you want to break it more than that, you can.

[Squirrel_Dude]

Only for determining the outcome of a misfire. If you want to break it more than that, you can.Oh, you're right. So a broken fire lance would actually have the range of 1-8, not 1-4...


God it sucks so much.

[nedz]

Add in the Grenadier feat for +1 damage, hardly stunning I know.



And looking at all that... I think it might be slightly more effective as a bomb than as a weapon. I... don't even know what to say about it at this point...

Cross post this to the dysfunctional rules thread ?

[Ravenica]

Was flying over Ocean, had Monk tied to robe i was holding, got attacked by demons decided it was a good idea to swing the robe around and lanch the monk at the demons, got a natural 20 and confirmed...

First time i have ever crit'ed using a monk as a weapon, further more i got a nice damage output after calculating what kind of damage a human monk does and because i critted DM ruled that i had hit it so precise the monk was allowed to make a grapple attack when he hit and the demon got grappled so he was still able to fly but couldn't fight back, was awesome :smallbiggrin:


Best "monk weapon" ever :smallbiggrin:

[Ernir]

I was drunk during chargen once.

It ended up OK, except for the character, to this day, carrying around a heavy mace.

A heavy mace! :smallfrown:

{table=head]Weapon|Cost|Dmg (S)|Dmg (M)|Critical|Range Increment|Weight| Type
Mace, heavy|12 gp|1d6|1d8|×2|—|8 lb.|Bludgeoning
Morningstar|8 gp|1d6|1d8|×2|—|6 lb.|Bludgeoning and piercing[/table]

[Bakkan]

I was drunk during chargen once.

It ended up OK, except for the character, to this day, carrying around a heavy mace.

A heavy mace! :smallfrown:

{table=head]Weapon|Cost|Dmg (S)|Dmg (M)|Critical|Range Increment|Weight| Type
Mace, heavy|12 gp|1d6|1d8|×2|—|8 lb.|Bludgeoning
Morningstar|8 gp|1d6|1d8|×2|—|6 lb.|Bludgeoning and piercing[/table]

Well, at least now you're set when fighting enemies healed by Piercing damage and with DR 5/costs at least 10 gp.

[Baroncognito]

So that would give you a 70% chance for it to blow up. The blast would do half-1d6 piercing damage to all creatures in a 5ft radius, Reflex save DC 12 for half damage, and all creatures within 20ft are dazzled, Fort save DC 15 negates. You could try a similar trick with the entangle cartridge.

At this point, it's beginning to feel like the scene from The Fifth Element.

"A true killer would have asked what pulling the trigger does."

[Theprettiestorc]

I remember a Going Green campaign I was a part of. My rogue was using a trident(A TRIDENT!!), my other rogue had a slingshot...

And then the caster in the party had things in her face. So she pulls out roman candles, and sets one off in the zombie's face.

Since this was a campaign played with two different parties, the other party had a rogue with some homebrew rules to throw handfuls of all these damn useless shuriken at foes.

[Greenish]

I remember a Going Green campaign I was a part of. My rogue was using a trident(A TRIDENT!!), my other rogue had a slingshot...Trident isn't terribad. One-handed (so two-hand in a pinch), thrown, brace... Unless you burned a feat for it, it's pretty average.

[Theprettiestorc]

The campaign was seven years ago - don't remember, XD. I know it was Shocking, though, and so she started using it. Just kinda looks odd for a sneaky character to be stabbing things with a giant fork, I think.

[Baroncognito]

I had a paladin with a trident in Birthright.

[Chromascope3D]

Every time someone brings this up, I will always point to this giant turd. Many people don't like how Pathfinder did guns, but it's not because of this "beauty."

Emphasis mine.

That's right, you can pay for 2 doses of black powder, the exotic weapon proficiency feat, and a 20% chance to blow yourself up for the chance to fire a javelin from a tube with a 20 ft. shorter range increment and the same damage dice. The same javelin you are wasting by putting it in the stupid tube in the first place.

Ah, but it has a chance to do x4 critical damage! It threatens on a natural 20, about a 5% chance, though the attack penalty lowers that, which does seem to be less than the misfire chance...

Oh god, it's true... :smallfrown:

[Baroncognito]

But the fire lance is a weapon that seems like it shouldn't be picky about the ammunition. You can load a javelin, you can load a spear, a trident, a quarter-staff.

I mean, with the penalties of it, it should just be really forgiving about what you can do with it.

Instead of having fixed stats, it should just be:

The firelance can be loaded with a javelin or any polearm type weapon. It does damage as the weapon's damage and has a range of 10 feet.

[Andezzar]

The campaign was seven years ago - don't remember, XD. I know it was Shocking, though, and so she started using it. Just kinda looks odd for a sneaky character to be stabbing things with a giant fork, I think.Not worse than sneak attacking with a ballista.


Well, at least now you're set when fighting enemies healed by Piercing damage and with DR 5/costs at least 10 gp.And heavy maces are more difficult to sunder than morning stars.

[RedDragons]

Collasial thrower with a level dip in rogue...


Player 1 : I sneak attack the kobold

DM: Okay with what?

Player : Oh the planet earth!

Dm: Okay do a strength check if you can lift the planet you are on...


Player: Rolls...

Dm: @#%#@%@#%@#%@#%@ followed by more @#%@#%@#%@%

Player: Cool a 20! , I throw the earth at the kobold!


Dm: Congrats, the earth lands on the kobold......

[Andezzar]

Ability and Skill checks never auto-succeed on a natural 20.

[RedDragons]

cool , tell me more about the rules at my table, don't think I have ever seen you at them.

[Andezzar]

Of course you can play however you like. I just want to point out that only using a houserule produces this ridiculous result.

[Squirrel_Dude]

cool , tell me more about the rules at my table, don't think I have ever seen you at them.He was making the assumption that the table was using standard rules, and just pointing out that if there was a problem with the way the game went because a player threw the earth at something (admittedly, it's an awesome thing to do) a simple reliance on the standard rules would have solved it.


I'm am, however, unsure of how it qualifies as a "most horrible weapon ever" unless there was a secondary result to throwing the earth that you didn't specify in your post.

[Last Laugh]

cool , tell me more about the rules at my table, don't think I have ever seen you at them.

Nah that's chill, play how you like. The nat 20=success on all rolls is a fairly common misconception.

For funsies make ludicrous skill checks and take 20s. (I jump into space, I climb the wall of lava, etc.)

[Andezzar]

For funsies make ludicrous skill checks and take 20s. (I jump into space, I climb the wall of lava, etc.)Craft(Grand Unified Theory) is also a good one.

[gr8artist]

Back to the fire lance, because it obviously wins this thread...
Since masterwork and magical ammunition is destroyed after being used, does this mean that the fire lance would destroy a +5 javelin upon firing? It would still count as +5 ammo, but you couldnt re-use it. 50,000 gold for a one-shot +5 magical ammunition.
I think its best use is as a quick way to sunder enemy magical javelins.

[TuggyNE]

Back to the fire lance, because it obviously wins this thread...
Since masterwork and magical ammunition is destroyed after being used, does this mean that the fire lance would destroy a +5 javelin upon firing? It would still count as +5 ammo, but you couldnt re-use it. 50,000 gold for a one-shot +5 magical ammunition.
I think its best use is as a quick way to sunder enemy magical javelins.

No. Its best use is as a quick way to destroy artifact weapons, if they happen to be javelins.

[Killer Angel]

Every time someone brings this up, I will always point to this giant turd. Many people don't like how Pathfinder did guns, but it's not because of this "beauty."

Emphasis mine.

That's right, you can pay for 2 doses of black powder, the exotic weapon proficiency feat, and a 20% chance to blow yourself up for the chance to fire a javelin from a tube with a 20 ft. shorter range increment and the same damage dice. The same javelin you are wasting by putting it in the stupid tube in the first place.

That's wonderful.
But it can be pretty effective, you know?
Give it in the hands of your tribe of Tuckers' Kobold... the group won't take them seriously, 'til it will be too late, when the real kobold tactics will kick in. :smallcool:

[nedz]

They might work as a trap, but probably still better if rigged to explode instead.:smallamused:

[Vaz]

Collasial thrower with a level dip in rogue...


Player 1 : I sneak attack the kobold

DM: Okay with what?

Player : Oh the planet earth!

Dm: Okay do a strength check if you can lift the planet you are on...


Player: Rolls...

Dm: @#%#@%@#%@#%@#%@ followed by more @#%@#%@#%@%

Player: Cool a 20! , I throw the earth at the kobold!


Dm: Congrats, the earth lands on the kobold......

Throwing the earth at the Kobold results in you doing a Handstand and launching yourself ultra fast in the opposite direction into a wall. Take Collision/Bludgeoning/Impact/High Speed falling damage.

[Krobar]

This wasn't MY weapon. A player in my game thought he was being clever. He took a Decanter of Endless Water and made a riverine nozzle for it, and sovereign glued it to the opening. Then he put a permanent glyph of Transmute Liquid on the nozzle, which converted the water to Alchemist's Fire. He showed me some math indicating that the nozzle should now provide a range of 100 yards, based on flow rate, exit diameter, etc. He even showed historical precedent from the real world regarding tank mounted flamethrowers from WWII. He put together a whole table of damage that decreased as the distance increased. It all looked like it made sense. The write-up actually took a whole page of paper, and he obviously put a lot of time and thought into it.

So I allowed it.

What I didn't tell him was that, due to the MUCH higher velocity of the water/alchemist's fire, the STR check to hold onto the decanter was significantly higher.

He failed to hold onto it the first time he used it. I'm sure everyone here has at one time blown up a balloon, and let it go so it could fly around the room until the air ran out. Well, that's what the decanter did. Only it never ran out. It rocketed around and burned down half of a forest and several villages before it finally landed in a lake 50 miles away.

Every druid, every paladin, every good cleric within a thousand miles came after him for that.

[Andezzar]

And he didn't realize that he invented a rocket propulsion system with infinite fuel? Put a cut off valve in between and you're golden.

A wizard could have stopped that thing easily with an AMF (greater) dispel magic.

[Krobar]

And he didn't realize that he invented a rocket propulsion system with infinite fuel? Put a cut off valve in between and you're golden.

A wizard could have stopped that thing easily with an AMF (greater) dispel magic.

Not really a reliable rocket unless you're putting it on something small. It just had a good bit more thrust than before (DC 16 to hold onto it instead of DC 12), but not enough to push a ship or anything like that at any kind of reasonable speed.

Yeah, a wizard could have stopped it. If he and the party weren't already involved in a fight against a bunch of orcs, orc shamans, ogres, and ogre magi (I think that's what they were fighting, if I remember right. It's been a while since that day).

[Crasical]

That's right, you can pay for 2 doses of black powder, the exotic weapon proficiency feat, and a 20% chance to blow yourself up for the chance to fire a javelin from a tube with a 20 ft. shorter range increment and the same damage dice. The same javelin you are wasting by putting it in the stupid tube in the first place.

But your 3 str character no longer takes any penalties on the damage roll! :smallbiggrin:


One of my players once used a live squirrel as an improvised thrown weapon. Not only did it not survive the attempt, but it didn't even hit the skeleton it was thrown at.

Live animals are -excellent- weapons. Angry-dire-weasel-in-a-sack was a game-winner for many early encounters my group faced.

[animewatcha]

This wasn't MY weapon. A player in my game thought he was being clever. He took a Decanter of Endless Water and made a riverine nozzle for it, and sovereign glued it to the opening. Then he put a permanent glyph of Transmute Liquid on the nozzle, which converted the water to Alchemist's Fire. He showed me some math indicating that the nozzle should now provide a range of 100 yards, based on flow rate, exit diameter, etc. He even showed historical precedent from the real world regarding tank mounted flamethrowers from WWII. He put together a whole table of damage that decreased as the distance increased. It all looked like it made sense. The write-up actually took a whole page of paper, and he obviously put a lot of time and thought into it.

So I allowed it.

What I didn't tell him was that, due to the MUCH higher velocity of the water/alchemist's fire, the STR check to hold onto the decanter was significantly higher.

He failed to hold onto it the first time he used it. I'm sure everyone here has at one time blown up a balloon, and let it go so it could fly around the room until the air ran out. Well, that's what the decanter did. Only it never ran out. It rocketed around and burned down half of a forest and several villages before it finally landed in a lake 50 miles away.

Every druid, every paladin, every good cleric within a thousand miles came after him for that.

We may now have solved the monk mobility issue.

[Andezzar]

We may now have solved the monk mobility issue.I wasn't aware monks had problems with mobility. They just have problems using their abilities while mobile.

[Waspinator]

I kind of doubt that riding a magical rocket of doom would make it easier to punch things.

[Squirrel_Dude]

I kind of doubt that riding a magical rocket of doom would make it easier to punch things.Actually, when in mounted combat you gain a bonus against targets smaller than your mount and on foot, so it would make it negligibly easier to hit things.

[Magesmiley]

A sheep.

I was DMing and the party came across a hill giant who was raiding. He had just picked up a sheep to stick in his sack when the party sorcerer tossed a spell at him. He survived and responded by chucking the sheep at the sorcerer. I remember him hitting and knocking the sorcerer (and the sheep) out. The rest of the night had various off-colored jokes about the sorcerer laying under the sheep.

[ArcaneGlyph]

Burning cat on a 10 foot pole. Character carried a bag of holding full of strays.
Piercing Damage + Fire Damage, then when the cat died, Bludgeoning Damage.

[Waspinator]

Isn't there some flaw that a commoner can take to be able to pull infinite chickens out of a spell pouch? You then just need some way of firing them and you've got a pretty hideous weapon.

[Callin]

Isn't there some flaw that a commoner can take to be able to pull infinite chickens out of a spell pouch? You then just need some way of firing them and you've got a pretty hideous weapon.

How about a bow ala Hot Shots part Duex

[Deffers]

...OR we can make some sort of autocatapult using the Decanter of Endless Rocket Fuel.

I mean, instead of actually firing the rockets, merely fire the chicken and have the rocket powering some sort of ancient-Greek-steam-engine looking thing with baskets. With a sufficiently great velocity it should be able to spin around several dozen times per round. Just jam some chickens on that sumbitch and you've got a poultry-based lethal weapon Colonel Sanders would be proud of.

[Norin]

A sheep.


That reminds me of a session in some homebrew game many years ago.

The party arrived at a small farming village that was about to be raided by evil orcs. The wizard\caster type character was a transmuter type mage and had a grand idea.

He started morphing and shapechanging a bunch of sheep outisde the village into horrible versions that would strike fear in the most hardy orc verteran.

The wool was changed into steely dark material, huge spikes grew from the spines, the feet of the sheep grew monstrous talons, the heads grew long wicked horns, the mouths became maws lined with dagger like teeth dripping with blood... Yes, the most vicious, evil, dreadful looking sheep you can imagine.

Enter the orc hordes charging down a hill to attack the village!

The wizard cackled madly and waited for the carnage to ensue!

Only problem was, the fiendish sheep was still sheep, and continued to munch happily on the grass and bleat sheepishly... Only to run off as the orcs came close.

:smallfurious: <--- Wizards' face after realising the fact that he wasted all his magic on his army of sheep.

:smallbiggrin: <-- DM's face.

[Slipperychicken]

Isn't there some flaw that a commoner can take to be able to pull infinite chickens out of a spell pouch? You then just need some way of firing them and you've got a pretty hideous weapon.

You could always drop them on people. Eventually, they'll fail enough saves and take enough damage to KO.

[gorfnab]

Isn't there some flaw that a commoner can take to be able to pull infinite chickens out of a spell pouch? You then just need some way of firing them and you've got a pretty hideous weapon.
Masters of Cluck-Fu


Lo and behold, the mighty chicken-warrior is here!


I'm sure this has been done sometime before, but as I couldn't find it on these boards, I present you...


Joe "Chuck" Awesome

Human Commoner1/Monk2/Paladin2/Fighter2/Warblade1/Bloodstormblade4/DrunkenMaster8
(not necessarily in that order)

Build Progression:
ECL 1 Commoner 1 Flaws: Chicken Infested, Shaky->Feats: Sacred Vow, Vow of Poverty, Nymph's kiss, Great Fortitude
ECL 2 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 1 Touch of Golden Ice, Dodge, Improved Unarmed Strike
ECL 3 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2 Mobility, -FREE FEAT-
ECL 4 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Fighter 1 Quickdraw, Servant of the Heavens
ECL 5 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Fighter 2 Improved Initiative
ECL 6 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Fighter 2/Drunken Master 1 Nimbus of Light, -FREE FEAT-
ECL 7 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Fighter 2/Drunken Master 2
ECL 8 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Fighter 2/Drunken Master 3 -Holy Radiance-
ECL 9 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Fighter 2/Drunken Master 4 -FREE FEAT-
ECL 10 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Fighter 2/Drunken Master 5 -Vow of Obedience-
ECL 11 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Fighter 2/Drunken Master 6
ECL 12 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Fighter 2/Drunken Master 7 -Intuitive attack-, -FREE FEAT-
ECL 13 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Fighter 2/Drunken Master 8
ECL 14 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Fighter 2/Drunken Master 8/Paladin 1 -Gift of Faith-
ECL 15 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Fighter 2/Drunken Master 8/Paladin 2
ECL 16 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Fighter 2/Drunken Master 8/Paladin 2/Warblade 1 -Gift of Grace-
ECL 17 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Fighter 2/Drunken Master 8/Paladin 2/Warblade 1/Bloodstorm Blade 1
ECL 18 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Fighter 2/Drunken Master 8/Paladin 2/Warblade 1/Bloodstorm Blade 2 -Hands of a Healer-, -FREE FEAT-
ECL 19 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Fighter 2/Drunken Master 8/Paladin 2/Warblade 1/Bloodstorm Blade 3 -Bonus Fighter feat-
ECL 20 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Fighter 2/Drunken Master 8/Paladin 2/Warblade 1/Bloodstorm Blade 4 -Stigmata-


Obviously, this build isn't perfected yet. I have one free fighter feat(and am treated as 5th level fighter in order to qualify for feats) and FIVE other open feats.

I could pick up the TWF chain, or spring attack, or whatever else.

It doesn't matter.

What *does* matter, however, is that this guy has 16 BaB, can quickdraw chickens out of thin air, and bludgeon opponents to death with them, dealing 1d6+1d8+5+STR damage.
Optionally, he can *throw* these chickens as bloodstorm blade for even more sillyness.


Tom "Chuck" Awesome, or "HOLY HELL HE'S THROWING BURNING CHICKENS! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

Silverbrow Human Commoner1/Monk3/Bard3/Warblade7/BloodstormBlade4/DrunkenMaster2
(not necessarily in that order)

Build Progression:
ECL 1 Commoner 1 Flaws: Chicken Infested, Shaky->Feats: Sacred Vow, Vow of Poverty, Nymph's kiss, Extra Favored Class: Commoner, Great Fortitude
ECL 2 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 1 Touch of Golden Ice, Dodge, Improved Unarmed Strike
ECL 3 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2 Mobility, -FREE FEAT(TWF?)-
ECL 4 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Bard 1 Servant of the Heavens
ECL 5 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Bard 2
ECL 6 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Bard 2/Warblade 1 Nimbus of Light, Song of the White Raven
ECL 7 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Bard 2/Warblade 2
ECL 8 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 2/Bard 3/Warblade 2 Words of Creation
ECL 9 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 3/Bard 3/Warblade 2 Dragonfire Inspiration
ECL 10 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 3/Bard 3/Warblade 2/Drunken Master 1 Holy Radiance
ECL 11 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 3/Bard 3/Warblade 2/Drunken Master 2
ECL 12 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 3/Bard 3/Warblade 2/Drunken Master 2/Bloodstorm Blade 1 Intuitive attack, -FREE FEAT(Leadership?)-
ECL 13 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 3/Bard 3/Warblade 2/Drunken Master 2/Bloodstorm Blade 2
ECL 14 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 3/Bard 3/Warblade 2/Drunken Master 2/Bloodstorm Blade 3 Gift of Faith, -FREE FIGHTER FEAT(ITWF?)-
ECL 15 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 3/Bard 3/Warblade 2/Drunken Master 2/Bloodstorm Blade 4 -FREE FEAT(GTWF?)-
ECL 16 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 3/Bard 3/Warblade 3/Drunken Master 2/Bloodstorm Blade 4 Stigmata
ECL 17 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 3/Bard 3/Warblade 4/Drunken Master 2/Bloodstorm Blade 4
ECL 18 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 3/Bard 3/Warblade 5/Drunken Master 2/Bloodstorm Blade 4 Quickdraw, Vow of Obedience, Song of the Heart
ECL 19 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 3/Bard 3/Warblade 6/Drunken Master 2/Bloodstorm Blade 4
ECL 20 Commoner 1/Monk(Cobra Strike Variant) 3/Bard 3/Warblade 7/Drunken Master 2/Bloodstorm Blade 4 -Bonus Exalted Feat(Vow of Chastity?)-


This build can produce Inspire courage effects of a 10th level bard, i.e. +2.
Words of creation doubles that to +4, song of the heart adds another +1, inspirational boost adds another +1, for a total of +6/+6 up to three times per day.
Alternatively, you can change that +6/+6 bonus into +6d6 fire damage thanks to dragonfire inspiration, and fight with FLAMING CHICKENS.

Other than that...you get into to damage if you flank/catch an opponent flatfooted, have bardic knowledge of +(3+int), wis to AC, all VoP benefits as usual(though the extremely limited list of exalted feats did make me take some exalted feats I'd usually avoid...precisely, Vow of Obedience and Vow of Chastity), 1d6 base unarmed damage, 1d6+1d4 base damage with chickens(who are treated as +5 magic and goodaligned weapons, btw), some maneuvers(Initiator level 13, so up to 7th level maneuvers! Late Warblade levels also allow for very high-level maneuvers), a +10ft enhancement bonus to speed from Monk, all the typical Bloodstorm Blade Goodies, the drunken master's STAGGER ability, allowing for some very fun charges...

Otherwise go with Commoner 1/ Dread Necromancer X with the feats Corpsecrafter and Destructive Retribution for undead exploding chickens.

[Venger]

Isn't there some flaw that a commoner can take to be able to pull infinite chickens out of a spell pouch? You then just need some way of firing them and you've got a pretty hideous weapon.

commoner railgun. every commoner in the gun is chicken-infested. infinite chickens shot through a nailed down decanter of fire at the enemy