"noob" GMs

[Hyde]

Well, ladies and Gentlemen, this is going to be an interesting one.

Already we've got the GM's girlfriend getting her own custom class, replete with it's own string of "Balance? what's that?"-style adjustments, made on the fly without regard to how it might impact the game.

So, What can I expect? Let me know with your own "Okay, why did you think that was a good idea, Mr. GM?" stories! I will bake cookies for whomever has the best one, provided you like peanut butter chocolate chip and live in the continental U.S.

And don't actually expect to get any cookies.

(I mean, totally, cookies, but the logistics of that? I wouldn't know where to begin. I could just bake them and then tell you how good they were?)

[Callin]

play for the kicks of it. dont get upset when Girlfiend goes Ape and kills everything. or the story revolves around her or she gets all the good loot.

if it does get to be a big problem address it Out of Game with everyone present and try to be nice about it.

[Hyde]

Oh trust me, I'm laughing. I'm probably going to just play a Diplomacy check, if you catch my drift.

[Keneth]

Is her class above T1? Does she know how to optimize it? Is the DM willing to cheat to keep her character alive?

If not, just outshine the character without DM fiat and ignore the bias (and potential jealousy). The guy's gotta earn points somehow, getting on your girl's bad side during a session is a recipe for disaster in most cases.

[Daftendirekt]

Their relationship is pretty shallow if she gets angry at him for not favoring her in D&D. It's a group game.

[Hyde]

Oh no, he couldn't optimize his way out of a wet cardboard box. He's the type that thinks sorcs are better than wizards because they can cast more fireballs.

This is going to be fun, but for all the wrong reasons.:smallamused:

[Blade Conduit]

Ok, so I had joined an IRL game with some friends of a friend. My friend joined about a year ago but the other three guys had been gaming together for years. Like older than dirt years. We've decided 3.5 and a home brew setting. I play an elf ranger (I'm super good at doing original things!). The DM's two friends play a Paladin and wizard respectively, my friend is going bard. Ok skipping all the in between mayors daughter save, we need your help, kingdom in trouble stuff and straight to where I nearly lost it.
The wizard and paladin have this weird relationship going on, some sort of bromance or something and although the wizard regularly does "wizardy" stuff and innocents get hurt the paladin is all playful about and the DM let's that slide. Ok....
Next, we get in this major fight with the BBEG and I think the DM way OP'd him and nearly wipes us out. The wizard gets away but everyone else goes splat. The DM says he's sorry but you know stuff happens, he says bring in a character one level lower than where we were for next week (for those that died). Fast forward to next week and oh the paladin is back (no loss in levels and an undead template added on but he's still LG and all that) turns out his "God" decided he had more work to do on this plane. OOC he says the relationship betweeen the wizard and paladin had a major plot hook he couldn't work around and they had been roleplaying it really well (my word for it was creepy but whatever).
Now I'm a little peeved and my friend (and dead bard who is actually a musician) said hold on, I literally wrote songs about what we were doing and that's not roleplaying enough to bring my character back. DM says nope. I wrote up a rogue and kept stealing stuff from people until the paladin killed me. (no alignment change there either) and then I didn't go back.

Unrelated note and not presumptuous at all, do those hypothetical transcontinental cookies come in gluten free form as well?

[Prince_Ornstein]

Oh no, he couldn't optimize his way out of a wet cardboard box. He's the type that thinks sorcs are better than wizards because they can cast more fireballs.

This is going to be fun, but for all the wrong reasons.:smallamused:

lol this sounds great. i wish i could sit in and watch the shenanigans ensue.

we had a DM girlfriend play one time and she was shown major favor to the point were it did not matter if she fell down a 500ft hole in the ground with spikes at the bottom and poison and fire and a locking roof....she would live and only be slightly scratched... we tied her up and offered her soul to nerull one night.. it was rather funny to watch the DM fidget and try to come up with reasons why nerull would not want her soul. we still play in the same group and the DM now treats her like everyone else. (though they are no longer together for reasons not related to D&D) still friends though.

hope to hear more from this though as im excited to hear what happens lol:smallbiggrin:

[Duboris]

Oh no, he couldn't optimize his way out of a wet cardboard box. He's the type that thinks sorcs are better than wizards because they can cast more fireballs.

This is going to be fun, but for all the wrong reasons.:smallamused:

I want you to tape these sessions.

As for worst dm-related shenanigans...

I think it would have to be that moment in rise of the rune lords where the DM was upset with the paladin towards one of the endings of one of the books. There was this succubus that came out and presented us with the option of a kiss, but she only suggested it to the paladin, because she was so interested in seeing him fall.

Diplomacy Check of 37 by the NE Charisma Fighter in the back.
Succubus suddenly friendly and interested.
Told them I was doing it for the good of the party and had to stifle back a grin.
Walked up stairs, doing hilarious hand gestures and complimenting the succubus.
I happened to be a worshiper of Zura at the time.
Know for a *fact* I resisted a domination spell by the succubus. Apparently she didn't want someone to resist.
Fat chance.
Slid a hand around the ladies waist, threw back.

French kissed a succubus for 3 rounds. That's 3 negative levels.

Wtf looks from every single NPC in the area, the DM, and my party.

So worth it.

[Hyde]

'mackin a succubus- nice.

So yeah, I rolled up a bard with a +33 diplomacy modifier at level 6.
I'm going to be the party's chronicler, and I'll happily post the log here- it should be great.

I wouldn't know where to begin making gluten free cookies- I suppose I could do the google.

[Prince_Ornstein]

French kissed a succubus for 3 rounds. That's 3 negative levels.

Wtf looks from every single NPC in the area, the DM, and my party. So worth it.

that....is....awesome!!!! ha

i cant wait to see the session log lol.

+33 diplomacy, i dont think someone is playing fair anymore :smallbiggrin:

[Hyde]

that....is....awesome!!!! ha

i cant wait to see the session log lol.

+33 diplomacy, i dont think someone is playing fair anymore :smallbiggrin:

What's kind of screwed up is that it's only using pathfinder core to do that. I haven't even started looking at the 3.5 shenanigans we're allowed to use.

Sure, pathfinder sort of increased DCs by adding in the target's charisma modifier and gutted skill synergies...

but it's not like it's gonna matter.

[Jigokuro]

'mackin a succubus- nice.

So yeah, I rolled up a bard with a +33 diplomacy modifier at level 6.
I'm going to be the party's chronicler, and I'll happily post the log here- it should be great.

I wouldn't know where to begin making gluten free cookies- I suppose I could do the google.

Ensure your noob GM actually knows and will follow how diplomacy works before relying on it. Mine, who isn't even a noob, never lets it do close to the effect it should have and for some reason opposes it with sense motive -.-

[Squark]

Ensure your noob GM actually knows and will follow how diplomacy works before relying on it. Mine, who isn't even a noob, never lets it do close to the effect it should have and for some reason opposes it with sense motive -.-

You sure that's not an attempt at balance, there?

[SilverLeaf167]

Ensure your noob GM actually knows and will follow how diplomacy works before relying on it. Mine, who isn't even a noob, never lets it do close to the effect it should have and for some reason opposes it with sense motive -.-
Well, actually it would be better to know how diplomacy works and then realize how broken it is and make/find a fix for it. The many forms of the classic Diplomancer build are a good example of how stupid the skill is as written. Rich Burlew actually has his apparently rather good fix posted on these boards, I can link it if someone is interested but their Google-Fu fails or something. Of course, I don't know exactly what shenanigans your DM pulls with it. Opposing it with Sense Motive might actually be rather reasonable, as some people use it in a way that overlaps with Bluff quite a lot. It's not always appropriate, though.

[Prince_Ornstein]

I'm going to be the party's chronicler, and I'll happily post the log here- it should be great.


so when can we expect the sessions to start?

@Jigokuro

sense motive vs diplomacy?... im not sure i make the connection between those two. has the dm ever explained why he challenges the check with that skill?

Edit- thank you silverleaf for the answer. i can see it if you throw bluff in with it sure.

[Hyde]

No, I think our group has remained blissfully unaware of how diplomacy works. I'm the only one who would ever consider using it, everyone's pretty content to be a beatface.

I do like Burlew's fix, and I'm going to introduce it the next time I run a game.

First session is probably this coming weekend, and weekly from there.

[Prince_Ornstein]

I do like Burlew's fix, and I'm going to introduce it the next time I run a game.

First session is probably this coming weekend, and weekly from there.

i think Burlew's fix is fantastic as well and that is what we use in our group.

glad to hear it is so soon, will keep a watch on the thread.:smallbiggrin:

[Medic!]

No, I think our group has remained blissfully unaware of how diplomacy works. I'm the only one who would ever consider using it, everyone's pretty content to be a beatface.

I do like Burlew's fix, and I'm going to introduce it the next time I run a game.

First session is probably this coming weekend, and weekly from there.

Vow of Nonviolence/Vow of Peace :smallamused:

Nevermind, nothing that has happened could deserve inflicting that on a party

[Grollub]

I think the worst example I can think of, is a 1 shot game; GM states the game will revolve around a Nobleman and reclaiming his house. Nobleman played by a non-related player.

The Game ends up revolving around his Girlfriend's character, a "common" house cat, of which two other players played the house cats "groomer" and "chef" ( friends of the gf ). The house cat took out an ogre we fought in one round by itself.

The girlfriend also used to get pissy if her character/her wasn't the center of attention at every game, or got the best loot out of everyone. Also used to try to violate several rules, and again.. pissy if she wasnt allowed.

[Lonely Tylenol]

I think the worst example I can think of, is a 1 shot game; GM states the game will revolve around a Nobleman and reclaiming his house. Nobleman played by a non-related player.

The Game ends up revolving around his Girlfriend's character, a "common" house cat, of which two other players played the house cats "groomer" and "chef" ( friends of the gf ). The house cat took out an ogre we fought in one round by itself.

The girlfriend also used to get pissy if her character/her wasn't the center of attention at every game, or got the best loot out of everyone. Also used to try to violate several rules, and again.. pissy if she wasnt allowed.

Commoner v. Housecat: The Logical Conclusion. :smallamused:

[Guizonde]

worst dm i've ever had the displeasure of playing with is a guy i now actively troll. imagine if you could use dnd style bluff shenanigans irl. that's how gullible he is. so far, i managed to get the following:

-lifting 6 barrels of "succubus kiss XXX special brew" ale and throwing them in my (non-magical) backpack. because i was a dwarf barbarian. that barbarian also wore mithril briefs. yes, i had +6 underwear. and it was awesome.

-wound up with a "vorpal warpony" who could do advanced calculus, after a successful animal handling skill.

-conned him into letting me dm "the head of vecna" for his all-time favorite halfling rogue. (he almost called the bluff, on account of "how many levels would i lose versus my bonuses?") that was hard to resist laughing.

-i managed to get another player to kill his dmpc with a goat. the goat lived, by the way.

-level 1 party, wound up with a non-adjusted aasimar paladin of freedom, with an ecl around 7. once i explained to him how i conned him, i left and wished the party luck.

-made an encounter disappear from thin air because "as a half-ork, those orks know not to attack me, since i'm their cousins' nephew twice removed".

we're talking about a guy who thinks that giving a level 1 character 15,000 gp is fair. (it was the girl he was pining after, but still).
at least, i was honest whenever i conned him, and never really played it through (except those mithril briefs. those were awesome)

my dm also enjoys trolling him, but knowing that my dm had him as a pc, i can see why revenge is high on his list. the guy is "that guy" combined with the worst aspects of a munchkin. cheating, wilfully misinterpreting the rules, you name it. hell, my dm wanted to make my halfling paladin (which he hated) kill his halfling rogue (he always plays those) on account of "you're obligated to do good. now scrag that sorry excuse for toilet paper". he even promised it would count as a "good" act so i would not fall... i refused (even i have standards) i'm pretty sure that's why the last time i saw that rogue, he was crucified in front of a fortress. :smalleek:

i wish i made those things up. but that guy thinks he's the uber-cool pro-gamer. "pretty fly for a white guy" could be reinterpretted for him, geek-style. he's also a very very very sore loser.

(sorry if i came across as a bit harsh. let's just say that he made a lot of enemies, most of whom i am dear friends with)

[Crustypeanut]

Does allowing a rogue to sneak-attack someone with a rowboat count as noob Dming? (The Rowboat was dropped off the ship by the rogue onto the guy's head who was in another rowboat)

What about the DMPC Monkey Skeletal Champion Necromancer who summoned a demon that ended up blocking the PCs in a 6x2 room because the monkey couldn't speak Abyssal?

Or perhaps having the entire first part of the campaign revolve around Terrorist Paladins and Freedom Fighter Kobolds mounted on Otyughs trying to reenact V for Vendetta to blow up the corrupt pirate city's lord's stronghold?

Or forgetting to mention to the PCs on an island looking for their captive friends that a familiar of the bard (Sea Singer Archetype) was spying on them, and thus the captain of the ship knew their plans to mutiny and prepared ahead of time, thus tricking the players into killing one of their good NPC friends?

[Guizonde]

Does allowing a rogue to sneak-attack someone with a rowboat count as noob Dming? (The Rowboat was dropped off the ship by the rogue onto the guy's head who was in another rowboat)


i'd say that one is less noob dm'ing and more rule of funny (as opposed to rule of sneak attack). i would hope that my dm let that one fly.

regarding the rest, :smalleek: i'm the loony in the group and even i can't reason that! what did you live through, my good peanut?!

[Crustypeanut]

Hehehe.. I was the DM for that. >.> It was my first time DMing, and although I know the rules well enough, my storytelling and overall knowledge of DMing was.. less than perfect.

The Sea Singer Bard though was a more recent mess up - I modified the Skulls and Shackles campaign a bit and totally forgot to give them a perception check to notice that familiar. They did get revenge on the parrot, though, by shoving a flaming sword up its butt, roasting it from the inside, then eating it in front of it's master - this was after they ripped that bard's ears off, beat him to near-death, then disabled his voice box to make him stop screaming. Then they tied him to the front of the ship and left him there for days until he finally died of thirst. So they did get their revenge - and they also got a druid to reincarnate their NPC friend, and luckily in doing so, removed his previous half-blind condition and he stayed Human. He was still bat-**** retarded though (4 intelligence).

But at least I *know* I messed up! I'm learning from my mistakes.. I promise..

[Jesterface]

I think I've managed to invert the special snowflake syndrome that sometimes comes with lenient DMs in the 9th level game I'm running atm. My girlfriend plays a nezumi spirit shaman and while she possesses incredibly powerful offensive spells, she more often than not runs healing and avoids combat. The river-spiritfolk spellthief bandit is often underpowered when it comes to combat, but the best guy for social situations. The vanara tattooed monk and human drunken master are both the combat heavies and frequently roll poorly, followed by the bamboo-spiritfolk ninja who frequently misses on attacks but beats every Spot and Listen check. It's the human archer who is broken. She rarely misses and deals immense damage due to be an Order of the Bow Initiate. The funny side is; she's not that bothered about D&D and is only playing because her boyfriend is in the game, she just likes the combat and being useful!

[Greenish]

Hehehe.. I was the DM for that. >.> It was my first time DMing, and although I know the rules well enough, my storytelling and overall knowledge of DMing was.. less than perfect.You can Sneak Attack with anything that makes an attack roll and deals damage, improvised weapons included. :smallcool:

[Squark]

Provided the guy in the boat was flat-footed, I'd say that's totally valid, and, more to the point, solid thinking.

[Crustypeanut]

Provided the guy in the boat was flat-footed, I'd say that's totally valid, and, more to the point, solid thinking.

Well he was not expecting that some of his passengers he was transporting were going to drop a boat on his head - he was more focused on saving his loot, his hide, and getting away from the few hundred goblins on rowboats heading towards his disabled ship. The goblins had a coastal 'fort' that was made up of an upturned ship with cannons in it. They also had Raging Swimmer Goblins who boarded the ship from the rear and killed most of the crew, barring the PCs who were shooting back at the goblins with the ship's own cannons.

As soon as his ship was disabled, the captain high-tailed it out of there with his loot and first mate, leaving the crew and PCs to their fates. He ended up getting away (minus his loot, first mate, and one leg) only to return later and try and challenge the PCs to Arena Combat, only to get strangled 100-feet up in the air by a Flying Dwarf Witch with a 15-foot beard who was singing "I can show you the World" before dropping the captain to his death.

[Musco]

3rd Edition GM allowed his best friend 1st level Cleric to oneshot an Ancient Red Great Wyrm by using "Create Water" on the dragon's mouth, thus rendering his breath weapon useless (o.O). And apparently, that killed it? I think? Anyway, the dragon was a goner. The guy instantly leveled from 1 to 10 (yep). I got up and walked after this. It was the first fight on the campaing.

So, can I have my cookies to go or...?

[Jaikei]

Here's one: I decided to let one of my friends give DMing a shot. He formulates a 1st level campaign, "Where level adjustments don't count, and each member of the group starts with one magic item of their choice." I roll up a Djinni Fighter with a Rod of Invulnerability. And he completely allows it. His own drone character was a Half-Orc Warmage with Charisma as a dump stat. I'm not sure whether this is extreme noobishness, or incompetence on a scale that can actually hurt the feelings of viewers.

[Greenish]

3rd Edition GM allowed his best friend 1st level Cleric to oneshot an Ancient Red Great Wyrm by using "Create Water" on the dragon's mouth, thus rendering his breath weapon useless (o.O). And apparently, that killed it? I think? Anyway, the dragon was a goner. The guy instantly leveled from 1 to 10 (yep). I got up and walked after this. It was the first fight on the campaing.

So, can I have my cookies to go or...?Extra chocolate chips for you. (::) (::) (::)


Here's one: I decided to let one of my friends give DMing a shot. He formulates a 1st level campaign, "Where level adjustments don't count, and each member of the group starts with one magic item of their choice." I roll up a Djinni Fighter with a Rod of Invulnerability. And he completely allows it. His own drone character was a Half-Orc Warmage with Charisma as a dump stat. I'm not sure whether this is extreme noobishness, or incompetence on a scale that can actually hurt the feelings of viewers.I would've picked Rod of Ropes. Never get a chance to get one.

Anyway, Warmage Edge keys to Int, so obviously they can dump Cha.

[Sith_Happens]

First ever session of 3.5, with a group whose understanding of the rules could be rather... tenuous at times. DM decides that Diplomacy not only works on PCs, but functions more or less identically to a Suggestion spell. Cue the loonie with a +7 modifier deciding that my character was to spend most of the session standing idly with a lantern to reflect off his armor.:smallfurious:

[Jaikei]

I would've picked Rod of Ropes. Never get a chance to get one.

Anyway, Warmage Edge keys to Int, so obviously they can dump Cha.

Huh, can't say I've ever had an opportunity to use one.

He was our lone arcane caster, with a Charisma so low as to have no spells at all. Even if he had any spellcasting ability, a total Int of 11 isn't going to apply too much in the way of bonuses.

[Chained Birds]

I had one of those "Nice Guy" DMs who gave a bit too many items away. I (the rogue) and my friend (the fighter) were okay with this, considering our previous DM really made magic weapons hard to find to the point where by level 5 we only found 1 magic dagger, and no one wanted it out of fear it was cursed or something.
The noob moment came when the last member of our trio of adventurers (Wizard) kept on complaining every time we got items, that the only thing he got were useless wands and scrolls; I guess a wand of Magic Missile Lvl 4 for a Lvl 2 Wizard is considered useless. So the DM buckled down and got him an artifact that essentially behaved like a legacy weapon, but with x5 more special abilities. Did the Wizard stop complaining? Nope! This just made him complain even more as he now knew that the more he complained the more cool stuff he would get.

TL;DR: I now hate all Elf Wizards and no longer have the same reaction to finding magical weapons like I used to... Why did DM have to by so Noob? He was doing so well too.

[Darius Kane]

The DM ruled that you can only play a character of your actual, RL gender.

In a PbP.

:smallannoyed:

[ZamielVanWeber]

I had a DM who had some awkward issues... My favorite: a warblade was eating up every one of his encounters with a combo of mithral tornado and great reach bracers (oopsie not-legal) because all of encounters were swarms, he finally throws a marilith at us. A party of 4 levels 9. I am a master of shrouds, however, and I just summoned a pair of shadows. He could not figure out how to kill the shadows and the marilith went down like a punk. He banned my character after.

[TuggyNE]

The DM ruled that you can only play a character of your actual, RL gender.

In a PbP.

:smallannoyed:

That's awesome.

[Venger]

behold the long sad story of Aranea the beguiler (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=12799337&postcount=102)

these are fantastic. all of them.

[Callin]

Back in my Noobish DM days in AD&D I allowed my brother to do something really cool but now adays we know just aint right.

He was playing a Dragon Elf Thief with a Maul of Titans and used a Ring of Blinking to teleport blink behind the Red Dragon to Backstab it. I laugh at it now but back then it was so cool to picture this in my mind.

Another of his characters a Gnome Thief had a poison needle ring that he used to great effect...:smalleek:

[Malachei]

behold the long sad story of Aranea the beguiler (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=12799337&postcount=102)

these are fantastic. all of them.

Oh, that is a cruel read. What about your gf, did she play?

[Callin]

OMG that game had to of been murder... I would have left

[Venger]

Oh, that is a cruel read. What about your gf, did she play?

she wasn't there, fortunately. I wouldn't have wished it upon her.


OMG that game had to of been murder... I would have left

oh, man, it so was. well, I did leave at the end never to return (had no way of leaving early, warlock was my ride)

[ZamielVanWeber]

Suddenly I desire to play an Aranea beguiler in honor of your poor character.

[Hyde]

Wow, this kinda picked up after I kinda stopped paying attention for like, ten minutes. Great stories, guys (I'm looking at that beguiler one)

Seriously though, if you live in Fort Worth, I have all the cookies.

[OverdrivePrime]

Ha! I love these. :D

Some 18 years back, we were playing Second Edition. Our valkyrie-looking friend had recently joined the game table and all of us were making fools of ourselves trying to impress her. The other girls at the table were not amused. She had been playing a druid, and by the fourth session had pretty much gotten the hang of things.

Anyway, as per the usual, we all get in over our head, and the druid asks us all what a really powerful good creature is that she could shapeshift into. 'Gold dragon!' comes the joking reply.

The DM, who had been running games for 3 years at this point and totally knew better fails his save vs rod and succumbs to her batted eyelashes. So suddenly she turns into a gold dragon and completely stomps the BBEG.

Ah... But of course there must be a catch to all this power! And there was. She turned permanently into a gold dragon. But, because she was a gold dragon, she could also turn back into an elf that looked like her. And had full druid casting. O__o


A couple years later we had gotten big into White Wolf, and the girl who was the ST was running a vampire game with all books available and was encouraging intra-party conflict. My gangrel dies early and quickly, thanks to a Malkavian practical joke. So I roll up a human vampire hunter with a vendetta against the Sabbat and absolutely ridiculous archery skill.

My first combat encounter, I'm out joyriding with the ST's boyfriend, a stereotypical brujah grease monkey when we see a car full of guys we knew to be Sabbat. I line up a targeted heart shot on the driver, and nailed him with a blessed arrow. No luck. The guy is paralyzed for a second until his buddy pulls the arrow out and he's fine. And then crashes onto our car, crippling my character.

And then the Brujah Boyfriend (unhurt, mind you) proceeds to kvetch so much about his damaged car that suddenly a friendly Mage comes by and [I]remakes his car out of Primium![/b]

And then of course the Brujah Boyfriend then proceeds to use his indestructible muscle car as the most dangerous weapon in the game until the two of them broke up.

[Venger]

Suddenly I desire to play an Aranea beguiler in honor of your poor character.



please do. I wish you all the best with him. please let me know how it turns out. statistically it's... very unlikely you'll have worse luck than I did.
Wow, this kinda picked up after I kinda stopped paying attention for like, ten minutes. Great stories, guys (I'm looking at that beguiler one)

Seriously though, if you live in Fort Worth, I have all the cookies.

wow, thanks!

I actually do live in fort worth!

I'll pm you, we should hang out some time

[Gharkash]

So, my two cents.

I was running a 4ed campaign about a cult in a city that believed humans are weak and fragile creatures and that that should change, so they summoned forces from the Far Realms in an attempt to force-evolve themselves by merging with unspeakable creatures from beyond. Not in the sexual way.

The party:
-drow wizard
-human fighter that basically just autoattacked his way through mostly anything
-a fabulous warlord that shouted to give his bonuses to people
-a human rogue (i think) that did literally nothing
-a (in 3.5 terms) half celestial half orc barbarian/warlord that had something like 6 int and constantly tried to climb the city hall in full daylight/steal the wizards staff, ending in him being teleported in the air by the wizard, just to fall down and try again
-a dragonborn dragon magic sorcerer that wanted to be a druid but his mama did not let him (not in his background, but that's what i like to think happened), cause i guess you cant have both a dragon and a nature fetish at the same time

So, they kill the bbeg after he is absorbed by a creature from the Far Realms in an epic long fight, and then i hand the gm throne to the dragonborn sorcerer, cause i just cant take this no more (cannot remember much of their doings, but trying to mission impossible yourself on the city hall broad daylight (half orc), having tree bark as your only source of nourishment cause it is totally legit (dragonborn) and shouting gibberish to give bonus initiative to people were some of them).

Next session i am a player and the dragonborn is DMing. In the hemispheric room where the fight occurred (cant remember if i bamfed there or i was just listening and not in that scene) the party notices a door (it was not there 1 minute ago). They go through a corridor and reach a balcony where there is a huge room, with something resembling an oversized table that has a huge mirror hanging in one of its sides and cultists chanting before the mirror. Suddenly, a huge incorporeal-yet-somehow-razorblade-ridden hand pops through the mirror and starts cutting the cultists, as it also destroys the pillars that hold the balcony and the legs of the huge **s table, that falls and hamburgerises the cut up cultists. The hand disappears without any explanation, and the ceiling of the room just falls down, making a ramp that the party can climb to the surface, the town's square that is. There, there is no one around, and the sky is black or dark or something, and a quest giver is there to say something in the lines of "thanks, here is your xp and everything". I should emphasize that this 20 minutes or so scene was practically a cinematic, the players could do nothing, no quicktime event, no "Press Esc to skip", and nothing of all that was explained either. And all those happened at the end of a Far Realm campaign, with deformed humans and huge aberrations made of tiny aberrations and whatnot. Also i think somewhere in there was one or more little girls, cause loli is a thing.

Yeah.

[Hyde]

I admittedly had a loli NPC Super-psion. She was everything you shouldn't do as a DM.

Her name was Ellemiire, and she spent a lot of the campaign as a staff in the hands of the party psion (I seem to recall we were playing 4e at the time) There wasn't a lot going on there, but she definitely fit to get her body back (iirc, she lost her body when she defensed Ados, her lord and basically adopted father- from Progenitus, the original creator of basically everything. I want to say there was a "fake" Ellemiire...maybe the one in the staff ended up being a psychic echo of the "real" Ellemiire) Regardless, when the Psion got K.O.'d she took over his body and proceeded to TPK everything, mostly because the situation called for it.

In retrospect, she was a completely bull**** NPC, but no one complained about her- partly because they had fun with the seemingly-fourteen-year-old engine of destruction and partly because I think they genuinely believed that if they badmouthed her, she'd somehow manifest in reality and end them.

I'm not entirely certain I'm joking about that last part- I played her viciousness and resourcefulness very convincingly.

[Gharkash]

Our lolis were damsel-in-distress/hags, cause of too much vampire loli anime...:smalleek:

[Hyde]

I'm pretty sure Vampire "not books okay even books" are pretty much crap. Blood Alone was a pretty good vampire manga only because it wasn't- half of it was the vampires just doing regular people crap, like "hey, I forgot to pick up someone for dinner, I'll brb" and crap.

[Gharkash]

I think he was watching one called Shiki or something, too bored to google it though.

[Hyde]

I can't say I've ever heard the phrase "too bored to Google it" before. bravo.

Anyway, yes, that looks entirely stupid.

At least it wasn't Higurashi, then each of your Loli's would have been a tiny Tomb of Horrors, complete within itself.

[Gharkash]

Thank heavens there were no knives, insane 12 year olds or nail pulling devices anywhere.

And yes, i am a record holder in boredom, i have reached a level where i am bored of being bored. First world problems i suppose.

[Gharkash]

Not so much noob DMing, but in a campaign i am currently in there is an elf druid that repetedly has tried to sexually violate our drow wizard, both in elf and animal form, complete with grapple and trip rolls to tackle or pin him down. And it always flies. Lots of repressed memories there.

[wanderingbishop]

The DM ruled that you can only play a character of your actual, RL gender.

In a PbP.

:smallannoyed:

Well, sounds like an odd quirk, but did doesn't seem too unreasonable...

(looks up what PbP is an abbreviation for)

...oh.

Quite aside from the obvious problems with that setup, how on earth would you enforce it?

[ShneekeyTheLost]

Okay, so the GM in question was exceedingly stingy with loot, was a holdover from 2e, and was absolutely convinced that extradimensional storage was of the devil or something.

Basically, he ruled that if you went into a Rope Trick with a BoH, it activated the 'both get sucked into oblivion' clause which doesn't exist anymore.

So, that being the case, I was a sorcerer focusing on battlefield control and utility. He openly ridiculed me for not having a single 'boomchuck' spell on my list of Spells Known.

He was also a big fan of plot-railroading by virtue of 'big scary monster you can't hope to affect, because Plot says so, even if you really could is this way, you you either die or go another way'.

I got bored of this and tossed the Balor (at level 6) my precious Bag of Holding. He looked at it in amazement, then told me I couldn't bribe my way past.

Then I cast Rope Trick. At the Bag of Holding. Cue extradimensional rift.

POOF! BalorOn! Apply directly to a Balor!

[wanderingbishop]

Thank heavens there were no knives, insane 12 year olds or nail pulling devices anywhere.

And yes, i am a record holder in boredom, i have reached a level where i am bored of being bored. First world problems i suppose.


Nah, that's just how boredom works - it becomes a kind of self-perpetuating lethargy that effectively leaves you sitting there going ".....meh" every hour or so.

Funnily enough, going and doing something like scrubbing down the shower or cleaning and putting away Every Single Dish in the house is an effective counterspell :P

[Onerai]

Okay, so the GM in question was exceedingly stingy with loot, was a holdover from 2e, and was absolutely convinced that extradimensional storage was of the devil or something.

Basically, he ruled that if you went into a Rope Trick with a BoH, it activated the 'both get sucked into oblivion' clause which doesn't exist anymore.

So, that being the case, I was a sorcerer focusing on battlefield control and utility. He openly ridiculed me for not having a single 'boomchuck' spell on my list of Spells Known.

He was also a big fan of plot-railroading by virtue of 'big scary monster you can't hope to affect, because Plot says so, even if you really could is this way, you you either die or go another way'.

I got bored of this and tossed the Balor (at level 6) my precious Bag of Holding. He looked at it in amazement, then told me I couldn't bribe my way past.

Then I cast Rope Trick. At the Bag of Holding. Cue extradimensional rift.

POOF! BalorOn! Apply directly to a Balor!

Mad props there Shneekey, there's something so very satisfying about making someone's own stupid rulings come back to bite them. I mean really, they didn't put all that time and effort into making the rules horribly unbalanced for everyone to not bother learning them, right? :smallbiggrin::smalltongue:

I have also read the sad, sad story of the beguiler above. Makes me appreciate just how lucky I am with all the local friends of mine who like gaming, really. The most awkward incidents we've ever had in a game are pocket change by comparison, mostly involving jarring mismatch between the character archetype and the flavour of the setting.

[Greenish]

He was playing a Dragon Elf Thief with a Maul of TitansIs that a dragon that steals elves, a dragon elf who steals, or someone who steals dragon elves?


Blood Alone was a pretty good vampire manga only because it wasn't- half of it was the vampires just doing regular people crap, like "hey, I forgot to pick up someone for dinner, I'll brb" and crap.You know, when a vampire says they're going to "pick up someone for dinner", it's not what regular people do. :smalltongue:


Also, let us never forget That (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=23784) Lanky (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=93633) Bugger (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=95189), the patron saint of those who suffer bad DMs.

[Darius Kane]

Quite aside from the obvious problems with that setup, how on earth would you enforce it?
http://i.imgur.com/JmPL5.png
Telepathy, I guess?

[hymer]

Is that a dragon that steals elves, a dragon elf who steals, or someone who steals dragon elves?

Or a dragon who is an elf and a thief?
About That Lanky Bugger, I've only read the first thread, but that convinced me of him being a teller of entertaining and engaging tall tales.

[Kudaku]

Quite aside from the obvious problems with that setup, how on earth would you enforce it?

Since it is standard procedure to attach a blood-, urine-, and saliva-sample with your PbP game-application, it would be a fairly simple lab test to ensure that each player is, in fact, the gender they are claiming to be.

[TuggyNE]

Is that a dragon that steals elves, a dragon elf who steals, or someone who steals dragon elves?

A dragon who cheated prereqs to get into the Elf-Thief PrC! (It's in an obscure sourcebook, you've probably never heard of it.)


Since it is standard procedure to attach a blood-, urine-, and saliva-sample with your PbP game-application, it would be a fairly simple lab test to ensure that each player is, in fact, the gender they are claiming to be.

I would say that someone is in desperate need of blue text, except that this is one of those happy occasions it seems wholly superfluous.

[Jigokuro]

About That Lanky Bugger, I've only read the first thread, but that convinced me of him being a teller of entertaining and engaging tall tales.

Read the last one, there is photographic evidence of the aftermath; also it is completely amazing.

[hymer]

I call that an 'illustration' rather than evidence. :smallsmile: Anyway, not his best work. The first one had build-up, more characters, and more in-depth motivations.

[Callin]

It was a subrace of elf we found back in the stone age of the Internet. We emailed stone tablets and web pages were on the cave walls.

[Madara]

:smallsigh:
DMPCs

a PC who "Made the Ultimate Sacrifice" only to respawn because there was a witch chilling inside the Laviathan "Killing it from the inside."

Let's play a fantasy setting. SUDDELY! MECHA! :smallannoyed:

Also, Miss Chance apparently requires you to roll bellow said number, making 40% miss chance better than 70% miss chance. Not to mention the enemy not attacking the warrior in front of him, but aiming for a mook, and his melee attack suddenly becoming a ranged/area cone attack which just happens to hit me on the other side of the battlefield, but not the other party member next to me. Ontop of all that, the thing has a +19 to hit as a level 8 enemy, and does 5d6 damage per attack, plus 26. Yes, its a class the DM homebrewed himself... :smallfrown:

On the bright side, I get to DM the Alpha testing for the setting. :smallsmile:

Anyway, thanks for letting me rant, time to get back to work on the Alphatest run.

[Greenish]

Also, Miss Chance apparently requires you to roll bellow said number, making 40% miss chance better than 70% miss chance.The obvious counter is to shut your eyes every time you attack someone with less than 50% miss chance.

[Beldar]

This situation the OP spoke of is ripe for abuse & doing so can possibly teach the DM not to do that again.

What I mean is this:
We had a game (in a different game system but the concept still applies) where the DM obviously favored his buddy (we'll call him "Kyle"). Kyle could do no wrong & nothing he tried failed.
For example - the basic untrained human average in this game system was a score of 2 (higher is better).
Kyle's character had a 1 in "Con" (ie, he sucked at it) yet used con successfully to walk his way right into the vault of a major casino & walk out again with tons of cash.
This happened while the rest of the party, with scores of 6's and 7's (ie, trying things they were good at), were generally failing at what they attempted.

Did we rage about such extreme favoritism?
No, we talked amongst ourselves & came up with a plan.

Our standard operating procedure became this:
Since anything Kyle tries will succeed, use that to our advantage. Always watch & see what Kyle does & then jump on the bandwagon. Since it is Kyle's plan, it will succeed & we will succeed with it.

In a way, we did a Judo-throw on the game: "if you're inclined to go that way we'll 'help you along' - to extremes".

The campaign quickly became so run-away Monty-Haul as to be unplayable.
I think the DM learned not to do that again.

[Drake2009]

In a game I am currently playing our cm decided to make a 3.75 edition game. Using 4 health and mobs. He is also playing a character. A ranger who duel wields b swords.... he always hits and half of the time decapitated someone. We are level 2 and he is pretty much one shotting everything. Then he introduces 4 npcs! We have to save the npcs from 3 3rd level defenders and medium-sized 5th or 7th level cobra. Then when he says we can either storm the tower or go in the ramparts and we have a stalemate we roll a die and I win so we storm the tower. Dm says "you get shot sand go back to the ramparts. Basically he is trying to take over our characters and its annoying. Plus a lot of this shouldn't have happened. He said he would compromise but he then he acted like we never had the conversation!!

[ShneekeyTheLost]

The obvious counter is to shut your eyes every time you attack someone with less than 50% miss chance.

Or get a Greater Cloak of Displacement for 20% miss chance yourself.

Remember, every time you apply a nerf, it is another tool in your player's kit.

[Studoku]

Or get a Greater Cloak of Displacement for 20% miss chance yourself.

Remember, every time you apply a nerf, it is another tool in your player's kit.

If that's a greater one, surely there's a lesser version with a "lower" miss chance?

[Zubrowka74]

Some 18 years back, we were playing Second Edition. Our valkyrie-looking friend had recently joined the game table and all of us were making fools of ourselves trying to impress her. The other girls at the table were not amused.

What do you mean, more than one girl at a gaming table ? At the same time ?? This cannot be!

[Hyde]

If that's a greater one, surely there's a lesser version with a "lower" miss chance?

iirc, the "greater" version is of the "always on" variety.

Anyway, The photographical evidence mentioned was the picture of Lanky's stab wound. Not the drawing of his character. Police records were discovered, etc. He's Legit.

[OverdrivePrime]

What do you mean, more than one girl at a gaming table ? At the same time ?? This cannot be!

Ha! Milwaukee is funny that way. There's something in the water/beer here that creates a lot of lady gamers.

[Hyde]

Ha! Milwaukee is funny that way. There's something in the water/beer here that creates a lot of lady gamers.

Welp, I'm moving.

[ShneekeyTheLost]

If that's a greater one, surely there's a lesser version with a "lower" miss chance?

Oh wait, it was the Minor that I was thinking of. The Major was full displacement (50%), but for only 15 rounds per day. Making the lesser one actually more useful to you even before the miss chance inversion.

[Gharkash]

Or you could dip swordsage, grab Child of Shadow and run around enjoying your near invulnerability?

[Hyde]

I would like to dangle a piece of 1-inch by 1-inch cloth from a string around my character.

whatever for?

1% concealment.

[hymer]

Lanky's [...] Legit.
Here's why I think this is a good story and nothing more:


Hey, nifty. I just heard my front window break. I'm going to go call the police now.

And later he describes this:


Surprise surprise, my front window being smashed in was PsychoDM. I dunno what he was thinking he'd be able to do, because he looked surprised to see me come out of my bedroom. He decided that it'd be time to bolt, as the first thing I did when I saw him was grab the cricket bat tucked by my front door.

Now, if you think someone's out to get you, and you hear your window get smashed, you don't usually take the time to post this happening with no apparent sense of urgency. If you somehow did, you usually don't find the guy hanging around after.
Call me overly critical if you like. :smallsmile:

[Hyde]

I dunno, really it depends on how quickly you can type.
Frankly, it's what I'd do.

And again, the majority of this was verified through other sources.

[hymer]

Colour me dubious. :smallsmile:

[Drake2009]

Plus if he did type it that means he has evidence he was there.

[Jaikei]

Wow, this kinda picked up after I kinda stopped paying attention for like, ten minutes. Great stories, guys (I'm looking at that beguiler one)

Seriously though, if you live in Fort Worth, I have all the cookies.

Cookies? Despite the fact the location sign just to the left says "That's private," do you deliver to Plano?

[Prince_Ornstein]

behold the long sad story of Aranea the beguiler (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=12799337&postcount=102)

these are fantastic. all of them.

wow...wow...i would have smashed my face on the table over and over. its so bad i did not want to laugh (i forced myself to anyway) but i did feel the pain you endured. cookies for you for hanging in there though, i would have been out

[Hyde]

Plano's not very far. I suppose I could arrange some kind of cookie dead-drop.

[Hyde]

Could be like, in the hollow of a tree in a park, and you could take your friends with you without telling them, and just be all "oh **** guys, cookies!"


I kinda want to do that.

[Callin]

Hyde.... Why are you offering me a Necklace of Strangulation. Im not falling for it.

[Hyde]

Funny thing, I actually keep a necklace of strangulation we found, "just in case".

[TuggyNE]

Funny thing, I actually keep a necklace of strangulation we found, "just in case".

Joe Chaos triumphs again! (http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=50) :smallwink:

[Jaikei]

Could be like, in the hollow of a tree in a park, and you could take your friends with you without telling them, and just be all "oh **** guys, cookies!"


I kinda want to do that.

/)^3^(\ Everyone loves the cookies! Hmmmm... Now I need a dead drop...

[JackRackham]

lol this sounds great. i wish i could sit in and watch the shenanigans ensue.

we had a DM girlfriend play one time and she was shown major favor to the point were it did not matter if she fell down a 500ft hole in the ground with spikes at the bottom and poison and fire and a locking roof....she would live and only be slightly scratched... we tied her up and offered her soul to nerull one night.. it was rather funny to watch the DM fidget and try to come up with reasons why nerull would not want her soul. we still play in the same group and the DM now treats her like everyone else. (though they are no longer together for reasons not related to D&D) still friends though.

hope to hear more from this though as im excited to hear what happens lol:smallbiggrin:

I don't know, my experience with people who swear they know the game, but then have this "totally overpowered" monk build to show you (single-classed) is all negative. They've either had whacked-out ideas of what D&D should be (hack-and-slash, or silly voices and wizard hats) or get unreasonably suspicious and spend a half-hour going over your character sheet and want to recheck your all your rolls when you play a tier 2-3 class (TOB, Factotum, etc) intelligently (not remotely power-gaming). Or both. No fun.

I had one guy PC in a campaign I DM'd. He argued with me for like an hour before the 1st session that fighters were as powerful as wizards. Sure enough, the party factotum alters self to scam some extra gear out of a minor king who'd just hired the party and this guy starts arguing with me that OF COURSE every castle would have permanent anti-magic enchantments. Yeah. The guy turned everyone's mood, ended up ruining the campaign.

If this ends up being a funny kind of awful, good for you.

[Silus]

Let me know with your own "Okay, why did you think that was a good idea, Mr. GM?" stories!

DM threw a lvl 20 Psion/Rogue at a party of undergeared lvl 6's in a low magic campaign (Low magic for the party 'cause the Dm had a thing against all magic but Psionics, and there was no Psionic/Magic transparency, so protection from magic did diddly against Psionics) 'cause the crazy stupid Chaotic Neutral Dwarf Fighter took a swipe at her.

TPK only slightly averted in that I managed to get to a Spelljammer ship (it was a dry dock) and use the cannons to blow apart the time portal that we were sent to destroy. Then I had to retire the character 'cause the DM ruled that she was captured and forced to work with said Psion/Rogue. I spent a solid week on that character, writing out her backstory and everything.

Oh, and this was like my first or second game that I played too, and the whole "campaign" lasted two sessions. Made another character, a Dwarf Fighter based off my WoW character. Lasted one session 'cause I had to retire him because the DM ruled that we all ascended to Godhood due to partaking upon a quest to restore humans to a stable population.

[kardar233]

I don't know, my experience with people who swear they know the game, but then have this "totally overpowered" monk build to show you (single-classed) is all negative. They've either had whacked-out ideas of what D&D should be (hack-and-slash, or silly voices and wizard hats) or get unreasonably suspicious and spend a half-hour going over your character sheet and want to recheck your all your rolls when you play a tier 2-3 class (TOB, Factotum, etc) intelligently (not remotely power-gaming). Or both. No fun.

I had one guy PC in a campaign I DM'd. He argued with me for like an hour before the 1st session that fighters were as powerful as wizards. Sure enough, the party factotum alters self to scam some extra gear out of a minor king who'd just hired the party and this guy starts arguing with me that OF COURSE every castle would have permanent anti-magic enchantments. Yeah. The guy turned everyone's mood, ended up ruining the campaign.

If this ends up being a funny kind of awful, good for you.

Dunning-Kruger Effect (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect) in action. It's only once you've started doing your own research do you realize just how little you actually know. I used to think I was a good optimizer... now I know I'm barely average.

[Susano-wo]

I do have to say this, Silus: It sounds like the fighter brought it upon himself. though the DM does seem freakin bad (just deciding to have the character captured, just deciding to have your characters ascend to godhood? sheesh :smallsigh:)