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Hyde
2013-03-27, 02:50 PM
He was recently referenced, and while I'm relatively new to the boards, even I heard about Lanky.

So, does anyone know? I'm kinda hoping for a "happily ever after" kind of story, here.

[Edit: The stories]

Part 1 (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=23784)

Part 2 (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=93633)

Part 3 (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=95189)

valadil
2013-03-27, 03:46 PM
He used to lurk. He'd pop up every so often when his story was mentioned. Haven't seen him in a year or two, so I assume that GM finally got him. Damn shame.

ufo
2013-03-27, 04:34 PM
Lanky, is that the guy with the crazy story about a player (or was it the DM?) in his group who'd tried to kill him?

The Glyphstone
2013-03-27, 04:48 PM
Yeah.

Lanky Story 1 was the Psycho DM, the lasagna, ended up getting escorted from the house by cops.

Lanky Story 2 was much later, meeting a fraud storyteller who told a tale featuring themself as Lanky....to Lanky.

Lanky Story 3 was where his (ex)-girlfriend and PC stabbed him with a kitchen knife.

Lorsa
2013-03-27, 06:35 PM
I've only seen the first one, what about the other two? Seems like too much weird stuff to be true to me...

Sith_Happens
2013-03-27, 06:35 PM
Lanky Story 3 was where his (ex)-girlfriend and PC stabbed him with a kitchen knife.

Actually, I read all three stories recently, and the ex was never one of the players. If she had been then that incident might not have happened at all (because she might have been able to separate IC from OOC-flirting better, and probably wouldn't have been holding the knife).

The Dark Fiddler
2013-03-27, 06:38 PM
I can only imagine he's moved on with his life. He may or may not still be playing games; I wouldn't blame him if he'd become disillusioned with the hobby after what he'd gone through. Sadly, I don't think he's been here for a while, so he probably won't be able to answer the question...

Starbuck_II
2013-03-27, 06:42 PM
Yeah.

Lanky Story 1 was the Psycho DM, the lasagna, ended up getting escorted from the house by cops.

Lanky Story 2 was much later, meeting a fraud storyteller who told a tale featuring themself as Lanky....to Lanky.

Lanky Story 3 was where his (ex)-girlfriend and PC stabbed him with a kitchen knife.


No, I remember it as:
Lanky Story 1 was the Psycho DM, the lasagna, ended up getting escorted from the house by cops.

Lanky Story 2 was much later, meeting a fraud storyteller who told a tale featuring themself as Lanky....to Lanky. And the girl who fell for Fraud due to tale.

Lanky Story 3 was where his (ex)-girlfriend stabbed him with a kitchen knife, after flirting occurred from Girl in Story 2 (he invited her to join his D&D game). I remember he had posts saying he was asking for it.

Hyde
2013-03-27, 06:42 PM
Actually, I read all three stories recently, and the ex was never one of the players. If she had been then that incident might not have happened at all (because she might have been able to separate IC from OOC-flirting better, and probably wouldn't have been holding the knife).

I'm pretty certain that while she wasn't a player that evening (of the stabbing), she was an off-and-on type.

Anyway, to any doubters, the stories are legit- a lot of photographic evidence. I'll go ahead and link them in the OP. Though they were recently linked in a Forsaken GM thread nearby.

Acanous
2013-03-27, 08:23 PM
Lanky is the reasons my friends and I agree not to take out-of-game Drama into game, or vice-versa :p

The Glyphstone
2013-03-27, 08:56 PM
Actually, I read all three stories recently, and the ex was never one of the players. If she had been then that incident might not have happened at all (because she might have been able to separate IC from OOC-flirting better, and probably wouldn't have been holding the knife).

Right, my bad, I had the details blurring.

Hiro Protagonest
2013-03-27, 09:10 PM
I remember he had posts saying he was asking for it.

And I remember those posts being addressed at the fact that he's created past tension, by refusing to let up his habits with a very close friend (he says she's like a cat. But I still don't think that's an excuse to hold her in his arms. Same with the fact that he pretty much IS more intimate with her than with whoever his current girlfriends is, he even tells them up front that her and his other good friends come first) and misleading the girlfriend to think she didn't swing that way (she's bisexual).

starwoof
2013-03-27, 11:05 PM
Well after his last story escalated I just hope he's okay after the untold 4th story. :smalleek:

WhatBigTeeth
2013-03-28, 03:28 PM
Given how he describes his own role in the first and third stories, I can't say I have any sympathy for the guy.

The Glyphstone
2013-03-28, 03:31 PM
Third story maybe, but how is he at fault in any way in the first story with PsychoDM?

ufo
2013-03-28, 03:41 PM
Generally, once you pull the "Get back in the kitchen!"-card, moral superiority belongs to whoever isn't you.

tensai_oni
2013-03-28, 03:43 PM
I remember that story. I was apalled that people had the gall to tell him "you had it coming" after he was stabbed. Over mere words.

And this attitude is still present on the forum I see.

Grinner
2013-03-28, 03:52 PM
I remember that story. I was apalled that people had the gall to tell him "you had it coming" after he was stabbed. Over mere words.

And this attitude is still present on the forum I see.

"Mere words" have a power all their own. Don't trivialize them.

tensai_oni
2013-03-28, 04:06 PM
"Mere words" have a power all their own. Don't trivialize them.

I wouldn't "trivialize" words if people weren't trivializing a person being stabbed and saying he deserved it.

Mando Knight
2013-03-28, 04:33 PM
Third story maybe, but how is he at fault in any way in the first story with PsychoDM?
He came up with a strange, potentially debilitating curse without making sure that the DM was up to the job, maybe?

Jacob.Tyr
2013-03-28, 04:36 PM
I wouldn't "trivialize" words if people weren't trivializing a person being stabbed and saying he deserved it.

Yeah it's pretty universally not okay to stab someone... not that I don't see her reasoning, she probably should've dumped him long ago.

The Glyphstone
2013-03-28, 04:36 PM
But the original curse was '1d4 Con/day unless I make my antidote, which I have plenty of ingredients for and can easy get more'. It was PsychoDM that started making it crazy complicated and strange.

If I remember the followup right, it came out that PsychoDm went Psycho because Lanky's character portrait was from an anime he didn't like or something...

GigaGuess
2013-03-28, 04:36 PM
Generally, once you pull the "Get back in the kitchen!"-card, moral superiority belongs to whoever isn't you.

Personally, I just chalk that to poor choice of words. I read it as to "Leave this room, calm down, and let cooler heads prevail." Basically, she was in the kitchen, go back there and take a few deep breaths.

Nothing on it seemed misogynistic or anything to me. And even if it did, it definitely didn't deserve a stabbing, vital organ damage or no.

TuggyNE
2013-03-28, 04:58 PM
Personally, I just chalk that to poor choice of words. I read it as to "Leave this room, calm down, and let cooler heads prevail." Basically, she was in the kitchen, go back there and take a few deep breaths.

Nothing on it seemed misogynistic or anything to me. And even if it did, it definitely didn't deserve a stabbing, vital organ damage or no.

Yeahhh… there are things you can say that are so provocative a jury might go more leniently on your stabber. That particular one wasn't really a good candidate.

Of course, I also think he should have chosen a different course of dealing with Tammy (or whatever her name was), but eh.

Grinner
2013-03-28, 04:58 PM
I wouldn't "trivialize" words if people weren't trivializing a person being stabbed and saying he deserved it.

He was weakly stabbed with a paring knife. He had three friends, one of whom was described as a bodybuilder, in the same room and easy access to medical care, and in the end, he lived to brag about it. When all was said and done, the stabbing itself wasn't exactly a big deal.

Hiro Protagonest
2013-03-28, 05:01 PM
Yeahhh… there are things you can say that are so provocative a jury might go more leniently on your stabber. That particular one wasn't really a good candidate.

Of course, I also think he should have chosen a different course of dealing with Tammy (or whatever her name was), but eh.

Yeah, I don't have any particular problem with how he acted during the immediate scene.

And the reason PsychoDM hated him was because he used manga style to sketch his character. And apparently manga and anime are the devil itself because a girl broke up with PsychoDM at a manga con.

Barsoom
2013-03-28, 05:05 PM
He's definitely at fault at the 3rd story. Not the only one at fault, mind you, but still at fault. "Get back in the kitchen".... yeah right.

Sith_Happens
2013-03-28, 05:20 PM
He's definitely at fault at the 3rd story. Not the only one at fault, mind you, but still at fault. "Get back in the kitchen".... yeah right.

Definitely an extremely poor choice of words, but this was actually one of the few situations where it's contextually appropriate, enough so that you might not realize what exactly you just said until it's already out of your mouth.

WhatBigTeeth
2013-03-28, 05:23 PM
Third story maybe, but how is he at fault in any way in the first story with PsychoDM?
The DM sounds like a bad DM, but the whole thing smacks of a lack of any semblance of social graces on either side, which is a common theme in Lanky's posts. The abbreviated version of the way I read that story is that nobody was acting like an adult, including Lanky, who was unable to perform as mundane a task as putting up with a friend of a friend, and who threw that man out for acting smug and playing a game in a way Lanky didn't like.

Hiro Protagonest
2013-03-28, 05:29 PM
Definitely an extremely poor choice of words, but this was actually one of the few situations where it's contextually appropriate, enough so that you might not realize what exactly you just said until it's already out of your mouth.

Yes. Context and tone matter more than the words itself.


The DM sounds like a bad DM, but the whole thing smacks of a lack of any semblance of social graces on either side, which is a common theme in Lanky's posts. The abbreviated version of the way I read that story is that nobody was acting like an adult, including Lanky, who was unable to perform as mundane a task as putting up with a friend of a friend, and who threw that man out for acting smug and playing a game in a way Lanky didn't like.

...You can't be serious.

Tanuki Tales
2013-03-28, 05:34 PM
She literally came out of the kitchen and had been in the kitchen for quite some time if memory serves.

So I really can't buy the indignation over being told to return to a room you had just left. The fact that it also happens to be a female geared insult is honestly just a unlucky coincidence.

GigaGuess
2013-03-28, 07:27 PM
She literally came out of the kitchen and had been in the kitchen for quite some time if memory serves.

So I really can't buy the indignation over being told to return to a room you had just left. The fact that it also happens to be a female geared insult is honestly just a unlucky coincidence.

My thoughts put more simply. And again, I don't care if he pulled out much stronger language than that, it doesn't justify her stabbing him. Plain and simple. The fact that the injury wasn't that bad in the end is irrelevant, it was assault. She intended to cause serious harm, or else she wouldn't have stabbed him. It's like shooting someone, but saying that it's okay because it just grazed his arm.

Hyde
2013-03-28, 09:35 PM
You're going to be hard pressed to find any legally defensible position for stabbing someone just because of something they said, regardless of with what knife or where (frankly, being stabbed in the abdominal area with even a paring knife can be lethal and is supremely painful. He was lucky it wasn't more serious, make no mistake).
There's simply no reason to stab anyone unless you're reasonably certain that they intend to do similar to you, first.

Dienekes
2013-03-28, 10:49 PM
The DM sounds like a bad DM, but the whole thing smacks of a lack of any semblance of social graces on either side, which is a common theme in Lanky's posts. The abbreviated version of the way I read that story is that nobody was acting like an adult, including Lanky, who was unable to perform as mundane a task as putting up with a friend of a friend, and who threw that man out for acting smug and playing a game in a way Lanky didn't like.

When someone tells you to leave their house, you leave their damn house. When you get taken away by the cops from a house, you do not come right back 10 minutes later. When you are taken from a house by the cops again, you do not come back in the middle of the night high as a kite and try to break into their house. The jackass was too dumb to live.

Honestly if someone pulled half that crap on me I'd have dragged them out myself without bothering to call the cops.

As to the girlfriend one. Honestly, I'm probably the last person in the world who should be commenting on the emotions of being in a relationship, but I have been stabbed once. But if you don't like how a guy acts, break up with them. Do not stab them. There is no excuse for how that went down. Could Lanky have been more tactful? Of course, but being tactless does not mean stabbing is ok.

Origomar
2013-03-28, 11:50 PM
But the original curse was '1d4 Con/day unless I make my antidote, which I have plenty of ingredients for and can easy get more'. It was PsychoDM that started making it crazy complicated and strange.

If I remember the followup right, it came out that PsychoDm went Psycho because Lanky's character portrait was from an anime he didn't like or something...

It was that it looked animeish apparently.

From what i remember the psychoDM's ex was really into anime or something and left him for some other guy who was into anime and got really upset about it, so anything that resembled anime set him off.

Mystic Muse
2013-03-29, 04:48 AM
The abbreviated version of the way I read that story is that nobody was acting like an adult, including Lanky, who was unable to perform as mundane a task as putting up with a friend of a friend, and who threw that man out for acting smug and playing a game in a way Lanky didn't like.

Lanky was basically trying to play his character, and the DM was trying to screw him over.

Then, the DM repeatedly disrespected him in Lanky's own home. Lanky had every right to tell him to leave at that point, friend of a friend or no.

Psycho DM also later came back, accused Lanky of stealing, and broke a few laws.

I fail to see how Lanky is remotely at fault in that story.

As for the third, I'm not sure if that one was legit. I specifically recall another account being made later, and trying to discredit that story as being a faker. Not sure one way or the other, and it seemed to have a different tone from the others, so I'm taking both claims with a grain of salt.

SiuiS
2013-03-29, 05:05 AM
Generally, once you pull the "Get back in the kitchen!"-card, moral superiority belongs to whoever isn't you.

Yeah, kind of. That was my first thought. "My, that's unfortunate, bet that comes abck to bite hi-- oh."


I remember that story. I was apalled that people had the gall to tell him "you had it coming" after he was stabbed. Over mere words.

And this attitude is still present on the forum I see.

Well, let's be realistic. The nature of escalation is such that you cannot say "after he was stabbed" as if it is clear-cut. There is a difference between stabbing him accidentally - yes, it is possible - and immediately freaking out over what you've done and how bad a person you are, etc., and trying to kill someone with a knife thrust.

The fact that all we hear is she was halfway through "sorry" which could have been deadpan, or could have been a wideeyed, shocked, knife-dropping oh god what have I done, before she was kicked in the head hard enough to be rendered unconscious, tells us a lot.

There is also the obvious issue that, if your behavior prompts your significant other to come out of another room screaming about tramps, you should probably not respond by telling them to go back into the other room, the adults are having fun.

Was stabbing him called for? No. Was it intentional? We don't know. We do know that she wasn't trying to kill him, or he would be dead. It sounds like the equivalent of when you grab someone youre yelling at, too hard. Not a smart move, but the consequences aren't clearly thought out at the time. A crime of passion, and a minor one.

Did she stab him? Yes.
Did he have anyone to blame but himself? Not really, no. This sort of thing does not sneak up on you.


She literally came out of the kitchen and had been in the kitchen for quite some time if memory serves.

So I really can't buy the indignation over being told to return to a room you had just left. The fact that it also happens to be a female geared insult is honestly just a unlucky coincidence.

Yeah, but what a coincidence it was!


My thoughts put more simply. And again, I don't care if he pulled out much stronger language than that, it doesn't justify her stabbing him. Plain and simple. The fact that the injury wasn't that bad in the end is irrelevant, it was assault. She intended to cause serious harm, or else she wouldn't have stabbed him. It's like shooting someone, but saying that it's okay because it just grazed his arm.

No, no it really is not.

See, people are wired to escalate when they feel dismissed. As an example, let's pretend you and I are having an in person fight, because you and I are easy to type. No real hard feelings, of course~!

I get mad and yell at you.
You get mad and yell, louder.
So, feeling in the right, I stand up and continue yelling!
Not to be outdone, you stand up, too, but then push me!
Well, heck! I push yo back, still yelling.
So you push again, ahrder! you mean business. I stumble!
So I come back, and swing at your face! You fall down, crack your head and suddenly it's an emergency and oh goodness what have I done?

Most violence that isn't premeditated happens this way. Someone pushes someone else, and forget's they are hodling a soda cup and gouges out an eye with a straw. Or pokes someone lightly with a paring knife in the blubber.

Who knows? She may have recanted, then and there, if someone hadn't round-house kicked her to the head. And let's be fair, in a relationship, most people feel the sanctity of fidelity is at least as important (in the heat of the moment) as a flesh wound.

So why is no one but me freaking out that it was okayto escalate to the point of SEVERE CRANIAL TRAUMA? You know, the kind that after you get back up, you can't see as well for the rest of your life? You come out perhaps deaf, or with mild mental handicap? Why is it okay to escalate from a minor cut to cranial trauma for massive damage, but it's not okay to escalate from being dismissed for an obviously re-occuring issue which has been brought up over and over, to a minor knife wound by accident?

We need context. It is easy to point and say "she was the bad guy". It is harder, but more worthwhile, to step back and go "whoah, this entire thing was dysfunctional, how did it last this long?".

We Shouldn't judge others for being flippant about a knife wound, when we ourselves are flippant about kicking someone in the face hard enough to end their consciousness. :smallsmile:

Tanuki Tales
2013-03-29, 10:31 AM
I agree with what Lanky's friend did. Lanky's girlfriend, at that moment, was a threat to everyone in that room and had already potentially seriously injured Lanky with her actions (stomach wounds are nothing to joke about). He did what any rational person who felt their life and the life of those that they cared about was in danger. It's text book self-defense.

We can hem and haw about intent or her mindset after that burst of violence was, but the point is that she committed a crime of violence over basically nothing. She had some serious issues going on if she felt that the proper course of action in an argument with another person was to inflict bodily harm on them.

In fact, a rational person wouldn't have left the kitchen with a knife in hand.

I cannot agree with any mindset that condones or apologizes for the girlfriend's behavior. She was in the larger wrong and she committed a potentially serious crime. She could have killed Lanky and that's what the courts would have probably taken into account. Whether she got prison time or therapy or what have you, we don't know. But I really hope she got put somewhere away from the general populace for both her sake and their sake until she can be rehabilitated into being a stable person.

Water_Bear
2013-03-29, 10:34 AM
Yeah, sorry, I've been taking a break from posting but this is really getting silly.

Anyone who isn't interested in knifing analysis feel free to skip my post.



Did she stab him? Yes.
Did he have anyone to blame but himself?

YES! He could blame her! For stabbing him!


...in a relationship, most people feel the sanctity of fidelity is at least as important (in the heat of the moment) as a flesh wound.

:smalleek:


So why is no one but me freaking out that it was okayto escalate to the point of SEVERE CRANIAL TRAUMA? You know, the kind that after you get back up, you can't see as well for the rest of your life? You come out perhaps deaf, or with mild mental handicap? Why is it okay to escalate from a minor cut to cranial trauma for massive damage, but it's not okay to escalate from being dismissed for an obviously re-occuring issue which has been brought up over and over, to a minor knife wound by accident?

Because, and this is a really fine distinction here, the stabbing was a reaction to an insult and the "roundhouse" punch* was a reaction to a stabbing. Once someone draws first blood, they officially lose the right to complain that someone may have injured them while rescuing their victim.

*Yeah, I remember reading that thread. He was unclear at first, but it was a wide hook thing rather than a kick.


We need context. It is easy to point and say "she was the bad guy".

Yes. Yes it is. Surprisingly few people seem willing to though.

My guess is that it's hard for people to picture a woman actually hurting a man, to the point that a man's insult becomes equal to or worse than a woman's enraged knife-play. "Sexism Hurts Men Too" sort of thing.

But seriously, when one person is rude and another responds with deadly violence, that is a cut and dry case. If she had dumped him, had cursed him out, had upended the table, maybe even slapped him I would be on her side. But stabbing, no matter how "lightly" or "unintentionally" is an automatic one-way ticket to being the bad guy in the situation.

Dienekes
2013-03-29, 10:53 AM
So... people are defending someone who stabbed someone else and vilifying the person that successfully neutralized the individual who had just stabbed someone.

People confuse me. If someone had just stabbed my friend, you had better believe that something would be launching toward their head as soon as I could get up.

Ok let me clear something up here for everyone. Knives are dangerous. Knives are incredibly dangerous and incredibly painful. Stabbing someone can very easily be fatal even with a crap knife or from someone with no experience. Lanky is lucky that his wounds were as minor as they were because getting stabbed in the gut can very easily be fatal. The girl in this scenario basically just assaulted him with a deadly weapon. It does not matter how hurt her damn feelings are at that point, she is in the wrong.

razark
2013-03-29, 10:57 AM
From what I remember of reading that story, there were multiple individuals that were in the wrong. Boils down to a stupid incident that shouldn't have ever happened.

I don't think anyone is defending the stabber, or saying what she did was right. There's a big difference between saying "I understand why this happened" and saying "What happened is good".

Winthur
2013-03-29, 11:01 AM
I hope Lanky found a new wonderful girlfriend and the Part 4 is a happy story where they go out to see the sakura gardens (´・ω・`)

Tanuki Tales
2013-03-29, 11:08 AM
From what I remember of reading that story, there were multiple individuals that were in the wrong. Boils down to a stupid incident that shouldn't have ever happened.

I don't think anyone is defending the stabber, or saying what she did was right. There's a big difference between saying "I understand why this happened" and saying "What happened is good".

SiuiS reply to GigaGuess pretty much sounds like he/she is defending the stabber over Lanky's friend who knocked her clean out.

razark
2013-03-29, 11:23 AM
SiuiS reply to GigaGuess pretty much sounds like he/she is defending the stabber over Lanky's friend who knocked her clean out.
I read that less as a defense than as a question over whether it was an appropriate response to the stabbing.

Scow2
2013-03-29, 11:27 AM
I read that less as a defense than as a question over whether it was an appropriate response to the stabbing.
It wasn't vilifying the guy who knocked her out as much as saying that what she did, while by definition irrational (As crimes of passion tend to be), was absolutely understandable and not worth vilifying her over.

GigaGuess
2013-03-29, 11:48 AM
No, no it really is not.

See, people are wired to escalate when they feel dismissed. As an example, let's pretend you and I are having an in person fight, because you and I are easy to type. No real hard feelings, of course~!

I get mad and yell at you.
You get mad and yell, louder.
So, feeling in the right, I stand up and continue yelling!
Not to be outdone, you stand up, too, but then push me!
Well, heck! I push yo back, still yelling.
So you push again, ahrder! you mean business. I stumble!
So I come back, and swing at your face! You fall down, crack your head and suddenly it's an emergency and oh goodness what have I done?

Most violence that isn't premeditated happens this way. Someone pushes someone else, and forget's they are hodling a soda cup and gouges out an eye with a straw. Or pokes someone lightly with a paring knife in the blubber.

Who knows? She may have recanted, then and there, if someone hadn't round-house kicked her to the head. And let's be fair, in a relationship, most people feel the sanctity of fidelity is at least as important (in the heat of the moment) as a flesh wound.

So why is no one but me freaking out that it was okayto escalate to the point of SEVERE CRANIAL TRAUMA? You know, the kind that after you get back up, you can't see as well for the rest of your life? You come out perhaps deaf, or with mild mental handicap? Why is it okay to escalate from a minor cut to cranial trauma for massive damage, but it's not okay to escalate from being dismissed for an obviously re-occuring issue which has been brought up over and over, to a minor knife wound by accident?

We need context. It is easy to point and say "she was the bad guy". It is harder, but more worthwhile, to step back and go "whoah, this entire thing was dysfunctional, how did it last this long?".

We Shouldn't judge others for being flippant about a knife wound, when we ourselves are flippant about kicking someone in the face hard enough to end their consciousness. :smallsmile:

Yes, but this wasn't a shoving match that went awry. She stabbed him in the stomach. If she had slapped him or something, fair enough, she was upset and meant to get a point across, still not in a way I agree with, but at least more justified. She STABBED him. As for the friend's reaction, it is just that...reaction. He saw someone react in a way to both protect his wounded friend, and make sure she won't do something else. You said yourself, she was about halfway through "Oh God, sorry," which says to me he reacted pretty damn quickly too. A concession; yes, the roundhouse was likely excessive, however THIS is a case where clouded judgment is justified, NOT "Honey, go back into the kitchen."

But fair enough, perhaps she comes out a little better with some context, but as it stands, she sounds like someone who is possessive, jealous and is extremely insecure.

Grinner
2013-03-29, 11:53 AM
From what I remember of reading that story, there were multiple individuals that were in the wrong. Boils down to a stupid incident that shouldn't have ever happened.

I don't think anyone is defending the stabber, or saying what she did was right. There's a big difference between saying "I understand why this happened" and saying "What happened is good".

/thread This is stupid.

Dienekes
2013-03-29, 12:16 PM
It wasn't vilifying the guy who knocked her out as much as saying that what she did, while by definition irrational (As crimes of passion tend to be), was absolutely understandable and not worth vilifying her over.

Sorry, but no. When I get outraged or angry or just want to destroy something, I go to my basement and start using the punching bag, or whatever. People aren't animals, they should have some control over their emotions. At least enough to not stab someone when they're just playing a game. Doing something violent and stupid is not suddenly understandable because emotions are involved. 'Cause emotions tend to be involved with everything, yet most people can control themselves.

Tanuki Tales
2013-03-29, 12:27 PM
Sorry, but no. When I get outraged or angry or just want to destroy something, I go to my basement and start using the punching bag, or whatever. People aren't animals, they should have some control over their emotions. At least enough to not stab someone when they're just playing a game. Doing something violent and stupid is not suddenly understandable because emotions are involved. 'Cause emotions tend to be involved with everything, yet most people can control themselves.

This.

You're not going to stab someone unless there's something seriously up with you in the first place.

Scow2
2013-03-29, 12:31 PM
But fair enough, perhaps she comes out a little better with some context, but as it stands, she sounds like someone who is possessive, jealous and is extremely insecure.
She was definitely jealous, but I doubt extremely possessive or insecure. However, while she was tolerant of her "Boyfriend" having another too-affectionate woman hanging around him, being dismissed while he openly flirted with a third (Described as mostly, not entirely, IC - and he'd already indicated chemistry with her) probably made her rethink just how faithful he actually was to her, and prompted the violent breakup.

GigaGuess
2013-03-29, 01:08 PM
She was definitely jealous, but I doubt extremely possessive or insecure. However, while she was tolerant of her "Boyfriend" having another too-affectionate woman hanging around him, being dismissed while he openly flirted with a third (Described as mostly, not entirely, IC - and he'd already indicated chemistry with her) probably made her rethink just how faithful he actually was to her, and prompted the violent breakup.

Perhaps I chalk this up to differences in mindset. I don't care about flirting. If my SO flirts, I really don't care. I know he's with me at the end of the day, so that's all that matters. Clearly it wasn't enough for her. And I don not mean that as a shot, but as a statement. But the fact is, if you're secure, he can flirt all he wants, she knows he's going to bed with her that night.

Hyde
2013-03-29, 01:11 PM
This discussion isn't productive- These events happened years ago, and our speculation is utterly inconsequential to them. Whether or not anything was justified or psychotic, has likely already been determined by those involved and in a court of law.

For my part, I consider this subject closed, and encourage everyone to do the same.

JackRose
2013-03-29, 01:11 PM
Did she stab him? Yes.
Did he have anyone to blame but himself? Not really, no.


Unconventional suggestion, but he could blame the woman who stabbed him.

KillianHawkeye
2013-03-29, 04:29 PM
This discussion isn't productive- These events happened years ago, and our speculation is utterly inconsequential to them. Whether or not anything was justified or psychotic, has likely already been determined by those involved and in a court of law.

For my part, I consider this subject closed, and encourage everyone to do the same.

Hyde is right. Not only is the discussion in this thread pointless, but verging on inappropriate topics territory.

A thread asking if anyone's heard from Lanky is all fine and well, but this debate that's arisen isn't doing anyone any good at all.

Starbuck_II
2013-03-29, 11:01 PM
She was definitely jealous, but I doubt extremely possessive or insecure. However, while she was tolerant of her "Boyfriend" having another too-affectionate woman hanging around him, being dismissed while he openly flirted with a third (Described as mostly, not entirely, IC - and he'd already indicated chemistry with her) probably made her rethink just how faithful he actually was to her, and prompted the violent breakup.

True, never IC flirt with GF around unless you are absolutely sure they are okay with it. Apparently she wasn't. Inviting the Fraud's girl to play was just adding fuel to the fire.

TuggyNE
2013-03-29, 11:09 PM
Inviting the Fraud's girl to play was just adding fuel to the fire.

Sorry, what? Maybe I'm a bit slow tonight, but can't figure this out at all.

Tanuki Tales
2013-03-29, 11:26 PM
True, never IC flirt with GF around unless you are absolutely sure they are okay with it. Apparently she wasn't. Inviting the Fraud's girl to play was just adding fuel to the fire.

And this logically leads to a burst of attempted homicidal behavior in what way? I can see people calling Lanky tactless or thoughtless or a bad significant other or whatever if his girlfriend just chewed him out or slapped him or gut punched him or something like that and no one really disagreeing with that opinion. But she stabbed him. That's really not an appropriate reaction to flirting with other women.

Mutant Sheep
2013-03-30, 12:57 AM
Sorry, what? Maybe I'm a bit slow tonight, but can't figure this out at all.

Story Two explains, but a guy told Lanky's story, TO LANKY, with him playing the part of Lanky. Fraud (the non-Lanky)'s girlfriend was there, and she found out that he had pretty much lied about his life, since almost every story he told her about his crazy game sessions were stolen from the internet. A joking "heh, the story he told me was actually about you" weird flirt and a discussion over coffee later, and she was in the gaming group with Lanky and broke up with Fake-Lanky. Apperently a few weeks later, story three happened, wherein Newgirl was flirting (mostly) IC with Lanky. And then stab. Which, I'm gonna say, he got stabbed. I could debates how justified it was with myself, I still don't have a clear position on it, but stabbing someone tends to be bad. He is saying that inviting the fraud's ex int the group so quickly, and her flirting so much (the Old Friend who has a easily misconstrued relationship not helping matters) did not help girlfriend deal with her boyfriend being flirted with every thursday by two other women.

Grinner
2013-03-30, 03:09 AM
And this logically leads to a burst of attempted homicidal behavior in what way? I can see people calling Lanky tactless or thoughtless or a bad significant other or whatever if his girlfriend just chewed him out or slapped him or gut punched him or something like that and no one really disagreeing with that opinion. But she stabbed him. That's really not an appropriate reaction to flirting with other women.

Emphasis mine.

You have actually read the story, right? :smallconfused:

After viciously poking him, she began to apologize before that one guy knocked her down. Does that really strike you as being consistent with a homicidal frenzy? Personally, I'd just chalk it up to poor impulse control and let the police take care of the rest.

Gorgondantess
2013-03-30, 04:54 AM
Emphasis mine.

You have actually read the story, right? :smallconfused:

After viciously poking him, she began to apologize before that one guy knocked her down. Does that really strike you as being consistent with a homicidal frenzy? Personally, I'd just chalk it up to poor impulse control and let the police take care of the rest.

Yes, actually. I think you're underestimating this: if that knife happened to be in the right spot, he would have died. Frenzy? Not necessarily. But that is, by definition, homicidal. She did something that had a very good chance of killing him. There is no sidestepping that.

razark
2013-03-30, 08:43 AM
And this logically leads to a burst of attempted homicidal behavior...
No, nothing logical about her response. It was a purely emotional response.


I can see people calling Lanky tactless or thoughtless or a bad significant other or whatever if his girlfriend just chewed him out or slapped him or gut punched him or something like that and no one really disagreeing with that opinion. But she stabbed him.
Guy was being quite inconsiderate to her. The fact that he got stabbed doesn't mean he was being any less of a jackass.

Tanuki Tales
2013-03-30, 11:05 AM
Emphasis mine.

You have actually read the story, right? :smallconfused:

After viciously poking him, she began to apologize before that one guy knocked her down. Does that really strike you as being consistent with a homicidal frenzy? Personally, I'd just chalk it up to poor impulse control and let the police take care of the rest.

You've actually looked up the definition of the word, right? :smallconfused:


:smalltongue:

Because I did to make sure I was using it right and it has nothing to do with intent:


"a person who kills another "

and


"a killing of one human being by another "


Nothing about intent.

So yes, her actions are, by definition of the word in the common sense (probably not the legal), attempted homicide.


Edit:


Guy was being quite inconsiderate to her. The fact that he got stabbed doesn't mean he was being any less of a jackass.


And she wasn't exactly the best or most considerate girlfriend either. But only one of them almost killed the other with their actions.

Surfnerd
2013-03-30, 12:09 PM
I've seen some really engaging thread topics with one or two replies and then there are these.....

Grinner
2013-03-30, 04:21 PM
I've seen some really engaging thread topics with one or two replies and then there are these.....

The ethics of the scenario were moderately interesting, but now that we've sunk to nitpicking over semantics, I must agree.


You've actually looked up the definition of the word, right? :smallconfused:

:smalltongue:

Because I did to make sure I was using it right and it has nothing to do with intent:

Nothing about intent.

So yes, her actions are, by definition of the word in the common sense (probably not the legal), attempted homicide.

Did you look up "homicide" or "attempted homicide"? They're two very different things.

Tanuki Tales
2013-03-30, 04:48 PM
Did you look up "homicide" or "attempted homicide"? They're two very different things.

I specifically said I was speaking in the literal definition and not necessarily the legal one.



So yes, her actions are, by definition of the word in the common sense (probably not the legal), attempted homicide.

Emphasis mine.

Grinner
2013-03-30, 04:57 PM
I specifically said I was speaking in the literal definition and not necessarily the legal one.

Stop wasting time. Did you look up "homicide" or "attempted homicide"?

If you looked up homicide, legal or not, there's no point to this discussion. Nobody died.

Tanuki Tales
2013-03-30, 05:00 PM
Stop wasting time. Did you look up "homicide" or "attempted homicide"?

If you looked up homicide, legal or not, there's no point to this discussion. Nobody died.

I posted the definition four posts ago and you even quoted said post. :smallconfused:

Edit:

The environment of this thread is getting a little too hostile for my taste, so I'm just going to bow out now. Take care all.

SiuiS
2013-03-30, 07:33 PM
I agree with what Lanky's friend did. Lanky's girlfriend, at that moment, was a threat to everyone in that room and had already potentially seriously injured Lanky with her actions (stomach wounds are nothing to joke about). He did what any rational person who felt their life and the life of those that they cared about was in danger. It's text book self-defense.

I'm not so sure about self defense, but I agree with what he did, too.


We can hem and haw about intent or her mindset after that burst of violence was, but the point is that she committed a crime of violence over basically nothing. She had some serious issues going on if she felt that the proper course of action in an argument with another person was to inflict bodily harm on them.

I do not know that it is 'basically nothing' though, which was the thrust of my statement. Lanky does just a good enough job of painting himself as having done nothing wrong, but there's a lot of implicit stuff in "I thought we had discussed this, and it worked, but instead she bottled up her rage until it boiled". That... Usually means the 'discussion' was "hey, i have a problem with this behavior...' "What? Naw, c'moooon, it's fine! It's agame and you are being silly. Stop being silly."


In fact, a rational person wouldn't have left the kitchen with a knife in hand.

Truth.


I cannot agree with any mindset that condones or apologizes for the girlfriend's behavior. She was in the larger wrong and she committed a potentially serious crime. She could have killed Lanky and that's what the courts would have probably taken into account. Whether she got prison time or therapy or what have you, we don't know. But I really hope she got put somewhere away from the general populace for both her sake and their sake until she can be rehabilitated into being a stable person.

My concern is that people equate larger wrong with "other side is in the right". If you do a bunch of bad things, and someone one-ups you and does something worse, that doens't retroactively make your bad actions less bad.

I'm not saying she was in the right, I'm saying that everyone there had messed up. There was no "right", and there wasn't even a "more right than the rest". It was all bananas.


Yeah, sorry, I've been taking a break from posting but this is really getting silly.


YES! He could blame her! For stabbing him!

Well, duh~!

Okay, I know this is the internet so things get technical before conversational, so hear me out.

I bet, every time in thread so far, someone said "He had it coming" or similar, that actually breaks down to "He had a history which could be easily seen as leading to problems. He had conversations in the past about his behavior being bad. Most likely, they kept escalating. He kept ignoring them, and pressing his luck. Something had to give, and there was a long enough build up, he couldn't have possibly ignored it. He should have seen something coming, and while being stabbed is pretty severe, its less like being struck by lightning and more like crossing the freeway and being surprised you're hit by a speeding car. He had every reason to see it coming".

Do you have to agree? No. But conflating "he had it coming" or "he should have seen it coming" with being glad or ambivalent to him getting stabbed is straw man stuff. Flanderizing the opinion and then getting mad at the speaker for something they didn't actually say. Y'know?



Yes. Yes it is. Surprisingly few people seem willing to though.

I think people are conflating "She isn't the only bad guy here" with dilluting the blame, and or trying to get her off the hook, myself. But yeah, stabbing someone is pretty bad.


My guess is that it's hard for people to picture a woman actually hurting a man, to the point that a man's insult becomes equal to or worse than a woman's enraged knife-play. "Sexism Hurts Men Too" sort of thing.

:smallannoyed:

Yeah. It's not months of abuse and flagrant disrespect, the kind of thing that gives people mental breakdowns and leads to depression, suicide, and occasionally homicide. Nah, it's just a "man's insult".



But seriously, when one person is rude and another responds with deadly violence, that is a cut and dry case. If she had dumped him, had cursed him out, had upended the table, maybe even slapped him I would be on her side. But stabbing, no matter how "lightly" or "unintentionally" is an automatic one-way ticket to being the bad guy in the situation.

I agree. I just think that 'deadly violence' and 'enraged knife-play' paint an entirely different picture than the story itself does.


So... people are defending someone who stabbed someone else and vilifying the person that successfully neutralized the individual who had just stabbed someone.

Are they? I've tried to be very clear that I am villifying everyone.


I hope Lanky found a new wonderful girlfriend and the Part 4 is a happy story where they go out to see the sakura gardens (´・ω・`)

Seriously.


Yes, but this wasn't a shoving match that went awry. She stabbed him in the stomach. If she had slapped him or something, fair enough, she was upset and meant to get a point across, still not in a way I agree with, but at least more justified. She STABBED him.

But it very much was a shoving match.
Lanky with woman#1 was an insult.
Her trying to talk to him was harsh words.
His dismissal of the problem as a problem was a shout.
Her continued arguing about it was a countershout.
His getting a new lapwoman was a louder scream.
Her trying to kick a problem woman out of her house was a stand up.
His utter dismissal of her feelings as having value* was a shove back witha chuckle.
Her punching him in the gut with a knife was her punching him in the gut with a knife.

And immediately upon recognizing that she went too far, she acknowledged it, started to panic, and then got laid out.




* Which, while both techincally and situationally callous, could have been only situationally. I suspect Lanky intended those words with the purest sincerity and love, and just didn't recognise how far gone things were. He may have even meant 'get back in the kitchen' as an in-joke to share with her later. It is very unfortunate.


As for the friend's reaction, it is just that...reaction. He saw someone react in a way to both protect his wounded friend, and make sure she won't do something else. You said yourself, she was about halfway through "Oh God, sorry," which says to me he reacted pretty damn quickly too. A concession; yes, the roundhouse was likely excessive, however THIS is a case where clouded judgment is justified, NOT "Honey, go back into the kitchen."

I certainly agree, actually. The only thing that could truly make that shaky is if she dropped the knife first, and even then he could have been mid-flight. If anything, I admire Friend's reflexes as much as I dislike Lanky's flippancy about it all.


Perhaps I chalk this up to differences in mindset. I don't care about flirting. If my SO flirts, I really don't care. I know he's with me at the end of the day, so that's all that matters. Clearly it wasn't enough for her. And I don not mean that as a shot, but as a statement. But the fact is, if you're secure, he can flirt all he wants, she knows he's going to bed with her that night.

I've rewritten this several times. I keep getting too tangential.
As far as is relevant to the conversation, Lanky's actions - having another woman in his lap all the time, having a woman rub on him like a cat, inviting in a second other woman and engaging in emotional connections of an intimate sort - would constitute infidelity, not flirting, in most of the relationships I know of.

I'm a flirt, too. I'm touchy-feely and don't mean anything by it. But I still try to keep in mind that while it's nothing to me, it means a lot to my filly.


Unconventional suggestion, but he could blame the woman who stabbed him.

Sarcasm is supposed to be blue, I thought? :smallwink: :smalltongue:
See above, luv.


I've seen some really engaging thread topics with one or two replies and then there are these.....

*shrug* engagement is perhaps relative? It's much easier to read something that you find, at first blush, both wrong and also offensive, and to correct it, than it is to say something vaguely supportive but noncommital.

Water_Bear
2013-03-30, 08:28 PM
Response to SiuiS below, spoilered for the benefit of people who just want to talk about wacky lasagna-related D&D anecdotes.

See, I get that you don't mean to say he should have been stabbed, but the problem is that there's this weird false equivalency being drawn here between his rude behavior and her stabbing.

This is a great example;


But it very much was a shoving match.
Lanky with woman#1 was an insult.
Her trying to talk to him was harsh words.
His dismissal of the problem as a problem was a shout.
Her continued arguing about it was a countershout.
His getting a new lapwoman was a louder scream.
Her trying to kick a problem woman out of her house was a stand up.
His utter dismissal of her feelings as having value* was a shove back witha chuckle.
Her punching him in the gut with a knife was her punching him in the gut with a knife.

And immediately upon recognizing that she went too far, she acknowledged it, started to panic, and then got laid out.

Coming out of the kitchen holding a knife, yelling at Lanky to kick "that bitch" out of his house is transformed into "stand[ing] up."
Asking her to calm down and leave the room, by contrast, apparently constitutes a "shove back with a chuckle," a more serious escalation.
Of course the stabbing itself is now a "punch... with a knife." Rather than a potentially deadly attack which sent a grown man to the hospital, just the sort of thing you walk off with an ice pack.
And the whole thing ends with her coming out of a haze like Bruce Freaking Banner and going 'woe is me' before getting "laid out" by a punch-happy goon.

This is a problem. By downplaying the threats and legitimate physical danger posed by this woman and reinterpreting Lanky's disrespectful behavior as "abuse" which is then explicitly compared to physical violence, you are comparing them as if they are equivalent. Or worse, because honestly your version gives Lanky's Ex a great deal more sympathy than him and makes her look almost justified!

This and previous comments, like the "fidelity is more important than a flesh wound" thing, really make it difficult to see what your point is. That he was being such a jerk that she just had to stab him? That anyone would do the same thing in her situation? That while Lanky needs to be called out for "abuse" and "infidelity," saying she acted in an unstable dangerous way and needs psychiatric help is just going too far?

That's why I said this was getting silly before; there really is no comparison between an assault with a deadly weapon and flirting with women who aren't your girlfriend. Hell, even if he had been boning her and Tammy right there on the gaming table, it still wouldn't come close. Saying otherwise is bizarre and, at least to me, completely unaccountable.

On a less serious note, I really liked Lanky's first two stories; they were very entertaining in themselves and very well-told. If nothing else, I hope Lanky comes back under a different name so we can hear some less dire tales. I'm sure he has them, and I for one would love to hear more.

SiuiS
2013-03-31, 07:59 AM
Water_Bear, I think the detail by detail go-through is clouding things.
First, you're gettif the symbolism backwards. Symbolism is where a symbol stands in for a thing. You are equating a thing to its symbol, however. The false equivalency only comes about if you read backwards.

I am saying that crime does not justify crime. Trying to win by who's sin was most egregious misses entirely that there is more than one sinner. I've been discussing the details of this through catechism; nothing more. Well, that and occasionally refuting words put in my mouth or correcting erroneous facts.

Water_Bear
2013-03-31, 09:07 AM
My problem is that, as I pointed out above, the "symbolism" you are using here draws a false parallel between words and deadly violence, and thus equates the two.

You are saying crime doesn't justify crime. There was only one crime, and you are calling the victim a criminal and a sinner! That is the problem.

JackRose
2013-03-31, 10:17 AM
Sarcasm is supposed to be blue, I thought? :smallwink: :smalltongue:
See above, luv.

Ah, but I wasn't responding to a post that said he had it coming, or even that he shared in the blame (both of which are uncomfortably close to victim blaming for me anyways, regardless of intent.) I was specifically responding to a post that said that he ad no one to blame other than himself, IE, the stabber did not share in any of the blame.

snoopy13a
2013-03-31, 11:06 AM
Y



Nothing about intent.

So yes, her actions are, by definition of the word in the common sense (probably not the legal), attempted homicide.




Homicide doesn't require intent. However, attempt does--both legally and "common-sensically." So, whether or not her actions constituted attempted murder (or, more doubtfully, attempted voluntary manslaughter*) depends on whether she intended to kill him.

More likely, she was charged with some assault/battery charge--simply because a jury would have problems finding, beyond a reasonable doubt, that she intended to kill him.

*I doubt this would be attempted voluntary manslaughter because her provocation wasn't one that would provoke an average person.

The Glyphstone
2013-03-31, 08:56 PM
Great Modthulhu: Locking for review.