Is this completely insane?

[Hyde]

I preface this by saying I live in Texas, 'Murica- the land of the self-entitled and bigoted. A lot of this might seem trivial, but I think we as Americans tend to dismiss our problems as inconsequential when contrasted with, say, pretty much anything that happens in Africa (I'm looking at you, Uganda)- at least when we stop to think of it at all. This seems to generate two disparate groups- The aforementioned self-entitled *******s, and people who put everything that bothers them in a box in the darkest parts of their minds.

The point, then- I am having difficult reconciling my current circumstances. I'm (just about) 25, living in the same house I have since I was 2, unemployed (despite my best efforts) and unattached (also despite my best efforts). I believe myself to be emotionally broken- The only time I've cried in the past fifteen years is when presented with Mr. Rodgers speech when presented with the lifetime achievement award. It was so beautiful and human that I could regret not having known him, even as a T.V. icon. I can see the joy he feels for life and everyone around him, and then I see how far from everyone's hearts these sentiments lie. I see hatred and apathy all around me, and in seeing my own uselessness to change these things, I know nothing but a profound despair.

I am unemployed, unengaged, and unattended. I have no significant obligations. Everyone in my life would get along just fine without me, and might even profit from my absence. I have a meager income (sort of) with which to provide for my survival. I am intelligent and resourceful.

I want to go on a journey. Just leave everything and start walking (with some provisions, naturally) perhaps tour this country of mine on foot, and see where I'm going.

Anything to be somewhere else.

I can say with 100% certainty that the last year (or two) of my life has been an abject waste of time. I cannot see that the coming year will be much different.

Presumed benefits of this journey would be fitness, introspection, and clarity. Time without distraction that I might actually accomplish the dreams I had as a child.

It's getting harder to justify staying. It's getting harder to simply be. The risks going seem increasingly trivial, and it seems that I have everything to gain.

[Hyde]

And in case posting this on a gaming forum wasn't a decent enough indicator, I feel I have no one to talk to. The omnipresent lonliness is probably the biggest thing.

[TaiLiu]

I want to go on a journey. Just leave everything and start walking (with some provisions, naturally) perhaps tour this country of mine on foot, and see where I'm going.
No, it's not insane. It might be difficult, depending on your physical fitness and the ilk, but it is definitely possible.

Even if you fail, it'll be quite the experience.

[thubby]

it can be done. i would recommend a bicycle over your feet, however.

[Grinner]

I think you've just described a good number of the members here.

Regarding your journey, perhaps the biggest complication is food. Sure, you *can* live off the land, but you can't do that *everywhere*. Not everyone takes kindly to squirrels being shot. That leaves you with begging or temp work, and if you can't find work now, I don't think you'll be able to find it on the road.

[TaiLiu]

That leaves you with begging...
Bring an alms-dish! :smallwink:

[Hyde]

Oddly, I think I've got food covered. I have a credit card covered by my mother, for gas and for groceries, in limited quantities of each.

A bicycle is a good idea- even if I get somewhere absurdly hilly, it could serve as a pack mule if necessary. Maybe I should get those solid inner tubes, though. not that I seem to be able to find them, any more.

[TaiLiu]

Oddly, I think I've got food covered. I have a credit card covered by my mother, for gas and for groceries, in limited quantities of each.
That makes you dependent, though. I mean, if your mother does not want you to go on your journey, you would lack food. If you go anyway, she might cancel your card. Stores may not accept your card; you could lose your card; someone might steal your card.

To me, it seems a bit risky.

[Hyde]

That makes you dependent, though. I mean, if your mother does not want you to go on your journey, you would lack food. If you go anyway, she might cancel your card. Stores may not accept your card; you could lose your card; someone might steal your card.

To me, it seems a bit risky.

I'd probably win on the Ultimatum. As it stands, though, I'm resourceful and I do have survival training. Even if things go poorly, I can always get back to where I am.

I can't imagine everyone here, when asked "Hey, can you wire me some cash to get on a bus?" would say "nope, go die or something."

Hell, given what people will throw money at, I could probably kickstarter it.

[Palanan]

Having lived in Texas for several years, I can empathize completely with your desire to be elsewhere.....: /

I can appreciate your desire to just up and walk off...but I would suggest doing some research on this first. If you're not used to hiking long distances, you'll want to build up to a longer trip. Same goes for long-distance cycling.

Because I've been on portions of it, I would recommend looking into the Appalachian Trail. It's gorgeous, it's well-known, and it's something you can break into segments. It would be something of an expedition, and would take some time and planning, but it's something to work towards.

And it's certainly worth looking into Kickstarter. I have to admit I don't entirely grok how it works, as far as which projects are considered appropriate, but something to explore.



And let me share one of my favorite quotes from Mark Twain:

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

.

[Hyde]

It's not really the "being in Texas" part I have a problem with. That was more to underscore that, as a white male in the Murica-est part of America, it feels sometimes that I'm not allowed to have problems, or at least admit them.

The whole "other people have it worse than you, suck it up" mentality.

Even I think sometimes it's silly that I should feel so depressed "when I've got it so good". And then I turn to discuss this with all of my good and dear friends and family, so we can have a laugh-

And then there's no one there.

I have deeper and more complex relationships with [bleep'd!] fictional characters than I do my own family.

I've done some research already, and more just now- and I think vendors think a little too highly of their bike bags. I'll just make some. I could then take my laptop with me, albeit using it exceedingly sparingly, taking power where I can. Could be fun. Solar battery might be something to look into (bet they're expensive).

Also, I'm looking at getting about two grand for my magic cards, so I'll have that.

All in all, if I'm careful, this is looking more and more do-able. Kind of the reverse response from what I was expecting.

[Palanan]

Not sure what you were expecting, but it sounds like you're fairly far along in your planning.

What length of time are you planning to be out, and what distance are you looking to go?



Also, you might enjoy The Last American Man (http://www.amazon.com/Last-American-Man-Elizabeth-Gilbert/dp/0142002836/) as a quick profile of a strange, fascinating guy. Definitely relevant to your current plans.

.

[Hyde]

Ideally, I'd go visit my best friend's mother in Indiana (we were always close) and then another good friend in Tennessee. I'd like to go see my only serious ex in San Jose, CA, but I don't really want to cross through that desert and "up and around" seems like a poor option. Visiting the Great Lakes and Canada might be neat- I've already got my passport.

I don't really have a timeframe. Maybe get back for Christmas? Go until I'm satisfied.

[Palanan]

Are you cycling, then? You mentioned bike bags.

Some years ago I met a couple who were riding a tandem cross-country to raise awareness for something they cared about. (I met them when they came through Texas, as it happened.) They were both grad students and taking some time off to do the ride.

They were...evidently quite new to cross-country riding. They survived, but it sounded like they had a lot of getting-into-shape pains to deal with.

[Hyde]

Cycling makes logical sense, compared to hoofing it.

I wouldn't call myself in shape by any stretch of the imagination, but I am pretty darn tough (I work in some of the most hostile of hostile environments, at least that they let you in without a suit-when I was working anyway) I'm pretty confident in my ability to persevere despite any discomfort. In short, I'm fat, but I'm also very strong.

[Hyde]

Also, thank you, stealth thread renamer : )

[scurv]

if you wanted to part out a solar powered charger for your laptop. These will get you started. But solar power while biking might be problematic.

http://www.amazon.com/Instapark%C2%AE-Black-Mono-crystalline-Charge-Controller/dp/B005LR9IOG/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1364790884&sr=8-3&keywords=12v+solar+charger

http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=small+12v+battery&tag=googhydr-20&index=aps&hvadid=24987949231&hvpos=1o3&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=161051085890971888&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=b&ref=pd_sl_4alarlorxq_b

http://www.cnaweb.com/12v-dc-to-120v-ac-and-usb-5v-dc-cigarette-lighter-power-inverter.aspx?gclid=CKmui_fRqLYCFYje4Aodr34AyQ

[thubby]

it's way easier to just plug in at the local diner or w/e

[dehro]

make a plan for what to do in case of health issues, have a little sum put aside to get you home from wherever you might end up, take all the papers with you you might need for monetary issues and/or temporary employement wherever you might find yourself in need of cash..
and get going.

also, write a blog or a book about it either during your trip or afterwards.. and become a best selling author/millionaire

[SiuiS]

On the hatred and apart part, I have a theory.

The world is vast. So vast you can't really see all of it. It's like a coin. When people say, "is it heads or tails?" it's neither. It's a full coin. But you can only see that one half.

So there is good stuff there, there really is. But sometimes, it feels like ignorance or tunnel vision to focus in on it. It's as much a matter of philosophy and inward journeying to find goodness as it is a matter of location.


As for should you go... Sure. I wouldn't worry about cutting all ties, though. Someone mentioned how keeping the credit card would be a lack of freedom.. Baloney! It's not about freedom, it's about change. Having a relic that proves your mother loves you while on a journey Of the soul cannot be a bad thing. Try to connect to people. Maybe make a thread, when you go, asking if there's anyone in the area who could help out along the way, each leg of the journey? Would require net access though, hmmm.

Do you have a smart phone? I have a solar battery, charges up and then you plug it into the phone an it charges the phone. Got it for 15.99+ at 7-eleven, which is a Texas based company so you should be able to find something...

[Finlam]

Why exactly are you travelling, what are you hoping to achieve?

Introspection, clarity, perception, wisdom. These are not gained by bicycling great distances (ask Mr. Armstrong). They are gained through experience, introspection, and meditation. Knowledge of self, direction will not come from any distance traveled, it comes only from the internal world and can only be falsely gained from the external. The concept of putting physical distance between oneself and distractions is not an untraveled path, but that's hardly why you're planning to travel is it?

So if your plan is to shirk responsibility, forget about having a job, and use paternal income to finance your bicycling around the country, go for it. Do not expect to be better off for it. You will have wasted time that can't be put on a resume, that doesn't put food in your mouth, and does not lead to personal betterment.

If you have grown so tired of the world in which you live, seek the inward, internal world first; until you do this, all problems are never solved, merely deferred.

[Hyde]

Introspection is gained through introspection? I would not have thought...

Shirk responsibility? what responsibility? People use me as a dumping ground for their ****. A job? I've been trying to get a job for the past two years.

Pattern recognition is a thing, and this pattern is going nowhere.

Time has and is already being wasted, I don't see a difference.

[Finlam]

Time has and is already being wasted, I don't see a difference.
You already know this is a waste of time. You can still choose to look for a way to better yourself and to not continue to waste the years.

You're a self-admitted intelligent and resourceful person, you can find a way to spend the years doesn't fully waste the time. You are correct that you need to break the pattern, but doing it through a method that will in no way better you is beneath you and illogical to boot.

Wise men look inward first. The problems in our lives and the problems of the world are symptoms of the problems in our own internal world. You can run from these problems and solve nothing or you can solve the problems and become stronger for it. The world is yours if you take it, if you run it is lost.

"In oneself lies the whole world and if you know how to look and learn, the door is there and the key is in your hand. Nobody on earth can give you either the key or the door to open, except yourself."

[Hyde]

You know, I haven't had any one to talk to, really talk to, my entire life- I grew up dealing with my own problems, from bad-ish grades to bullies to god damn (step) parental abuse. I never asked for help, and I never got any. I've been beaten down verbally and physically, abandoned, and ignored.

I've had all the time in the world for introspection, and I've got a pretty good handle on "the way it is".

So you tell me, Jimminy Cricket- how does introspection fix my problems? I'm on a first-name basis with some of the HR people around here, because I've put out so many applications, I've lapped myself a few times, so that's not working. I can academically acknowledge that I waste a lot of time on the internet- hell, taking the time to type and proof this post is itself a waste.

But damned if it isn't easier just to go along with what people want from me and do nothing about it. Forcibly ejecting myself from my comfort zone and seeing the country seems like a pretty good way to start breaking some habits.

Like I haven't "looked inward" before. Or constantly. I'm the only person here.

[Palanan]

Originally Posted by Subproject54
If you have grown so tired of the world in which you live, seek the inward, internal world first; until you do this, all problems are never solved, merely deferred.

This is very fortune-cookie, but doesn't actually offer any practical suggestions for Hyde's situation. Not to mention his travel plans.

I've found that decisive physical action can make a tremendous difference in putting one's life and priorities into perspective. Sometimes you have to get out of a situation and see where the wind takes you.


Originally Posted by Subproject54
You will have wasted time that can't be put on a resume, that doesn't put food in your mouth, and does not lead to personal betterment.

A journey to see friends is a waste of time? A cross-country experience won't lead to personal betterment? Only Hyde can answer those questions for himself, and the only way he can do that is to venture the open road. Committing to a journey tries you and tests you in ways that sitting at home never will.


Originally Posted by dehro
also, write a blog or a book about it either during your trip or afterwards....

This is vastly better advice. Keep a travel journal. Record the conversations you have, the people you meet, the assumptions you run into.

If you haven't already, I recommend reading Travels With Charley In Search of America (http://www.amazon.com/Travels-Charley-Search-America-Classics/dp/0143107003/), one of the very best nonfiction books I've ever read. Read it beforehand, and name your bicycle Rocinante.

:smallwink:

[Finlam]

If your situation is unbearable and you can see no end to it, what will it be like when you return? Will have changed so much, so permanently, when you are back in time for Christmas? Would it not be better to invest your time and resources in a more permanent solution?

I'm all for encouraging people to go on adventures and to pursue dreams, but this adventure is not that. You are smart, you're obviously capable of crowd-sourcing to help plan ahead, and you've realized that there is a need for change. I believe that you can find a solution that is right for you and maybe a dream to pursue.

Seek a permanent solution to the pattern or you will fall back into it again. Go on your bike ride if you want. You have only changed the thinnest surface appearance of the pattern, you will not have escaped it.

[Hyde]

I might be smart, but "think of something you haven't already thought of, given thousands of hours of said thought" Isn't really advice.

You're not saying anything. Name a "permanent solution". Enumerate my so-called "resources".

That I've reached such a radical conclusion, despite my ability to plan and reason as you've so astutely observed, might tell you something about the near-limitless ideas I've already exhausted.

"Just do better" is not an argument, well-reasoned or otherwise.

[dehro]

This is vastly better advice. Keep a travel journal. Record the conversations you have, the people you meet, the assumptions you run into.

you forgot to quote the second crucial part :smallbiggrin:


anyhoo.. I like to travel and have been fortunate enough to do so for work and leisure. I can honestly say that I've learned something new almost every time.
and who can say he actually has to come back? for all we know he might find his vocation 3-4 days into the trip.. or a month later, and end up working on a beach, or in a restaurant somewhere else.. or.. well.. he can only find out by getting out there. if he feels he's exhausted every avenue presently within his reach, he is right in thinking he should reach further away.
maybe he WILL return and not have learned anything, and be back to the starting point.. but I think that's unlikely.

as long as he keeps in mind that traveling for the sake of traveling is a cool romantic notion but that he shouldn't completely loose focus and a career as hobo isn't really something to focus on.. as long as he stays away from trouble.. I can't see anything wrong with this. he might return back home after a few weeks, or not.. you could call it a walkabout or a sabbatical.. it doesn't matter.
what does matter is that everybody I know who took a few months or a year break to see the world..did learn something about the world, if not about themselves, and/or have had a lot of fun doing it. a win/win situation.

[Hyde]

If you haven't already, I recommend reading Travels With Charley In Search of America (http://www.amazon.com/Travels-Charley-Search-America-Classics/dp/0143107003/), one of the very best nonfiction books I've ever read. Read it beforehand, and name your bicycle Rocinante.

:smallwink: NOOOOOO! STEEEEEINBEEEECK! : )

Yeah, I'll give it a shot. I think the name of the bike is King Charlington- I'll have to ask my brother, it's technically his, though he's given up ownership.

[Finlam]

You're not saying anything. Name a "permanent solution". Enumerate my so-called "resources".

You didn't come here for that. You came here for validation which the Playgrounders, with their hearts in the right place, will gladly provide.

I can name any number of solutions, but what good would it do? What good would it do to move to another town, join the military, go to school, start your own business, or take any number of steps to actively and permanently change and better your life? You're not looking for a solution, you're only looking to escape the problem.

I wish you luck.

And dehro, you are correct. If approached with the right mindset, in the right time, such a journey can be profoundly enriching. However, there is a time and season for all things, and Hyde seems conscious that this is not the season. Perhaps he could be lucky, but if it is already wasted time in his mind, how could it, in reality, ever be more?
-----------
Sorrow is not in death but in loneliness, and conflict comes when you seek consolation, forgetfullness, explanations, and illusions.

[Hyde]

You didn't come here for that. You came here for validation which the Playgrounders, with their hearts in the right place, will gladly provide.

I can name any number of solutions, but what good would it do? What good would it do to move to another town, join the military, go to school, start your own business, or take any number of steps to actively and permanently change and better your life? You're not looking for a solution, you're only looking to escape the problem.

I wish you luck.


It's profound how completely you're not getting it. in order- what's the difference, rejected, did that, did that, and vague.

Last time I checked, asking "Hey, what's a solution?" is asking for a solution, how more direct can I get?

For a prisoner, escape IS the solution. They're not mutually exclusive.

[SiuiS]

You already know this is a waste of time. You can still choose to look for a way to better yourself and to not continue to waste the years.

You're a self-admitted intelligent and resourceful person, you can find a way to spend the years doesn't fully waste the time. You are correct that you need to break the pattern, but doing it through a method that will in no way better you is beneath you and illogical to boot.

Wise men look inward first. The problems in our lives and the problems of the world are symptoms of the problems in our own internal world. You can run from these problems and solve nothing or you can solve the problems and become stronger for it. The world is yours if you take it, if you run it is lost.

"In oneself lies the whole world and if you know how to look and learn, the door is there and the key is in your hand. Nobody on earth can give you either the key or the door to open, except yourself."

you're missing a key point of human physicality; it does not preclude thought. In fact, it encourages it.

Long distance biking? That's exercise. It's monotonous, hypnotic. It's meditative motion, along with the improved physique to better allow continued meditative thought. It's somatopsychic, where the mind follows the body's lead.

For this to be a waste, you would have to believe that the material world is an illusion, and as such has no value. But you lost resumes as something which is worth time and effort... Allow Hyde the change. You of all people should know, the only way for Hyde to have the personal experience to see what wisdom your words hold, is to ignore your advice and seek more experience.

Perhaps this is the first step to a deeper journey? You not only don't know what Hyde will see, you don't know what eyes he will see them with. That's part of humanity, luv – recognizing that people make mistakes, that it's good teu make them, and that they aren't, in hindsight, as mistaken as we sometimes think.

[Jack Squat]

I'm kinda in agreement with Subproject here. I'm not going to say not to do the trip, but the problems you're having probably aren't going to be solved by a trip. When/if you get back from the trip, you're still going to be living at home and unemployed.

Set a date for your trip out a few months or so (late spring/summer is a much better time to be homeless, if you get to choose when you are), and in the meantime, work on bettering yourself. Work out every day, pick up a hobby, take (and finish) on a project. If nothing else, you'll at least be in much better shape for your journey.

[scurv]

Something to consider, If you have a willingness to move, Perhaps you can find employment in other locations? I have done the move cross country and live out of a camper just for a new job thing before.

[dehro]

I may agree with the idea of the ..walkabout, for want of a better term.. but there is one thing that I do agree upon with subproject.. and that thing is that you seem more interested in validation of your idea than in actively discussing or evaluating alternatives to it, dismissing those with "done that, been there" which may well be true, but is as pointless as how you accuse subproject's more generic/phylosophic statements of being.

did you come here for pats on your back and "hey, come visit if you happen around my 'hood" messages.. or did you come to actually consider pros and cons and maybe even listen to alternative suggestions as to how re-focus your life/direction in other ways.. such as spending that same time learning a craft/trade, building up a carreer or something more.. planned out?
there's just as much a chance for you to be thrown a good suggestion here as there is for you to really get something vital and important from that trip...but you have to be willing to debate and consider those ideas instead of dismissing them out of hand, which is what I perceive you doing now.

that said, I do stand by my initial post.. at 25, healthy with no obligations and family trappings, this is the best time for you to take that trip..if you want/have to.

[JoshL]

Something to consider, If you have a willingness to move, Perhaps you can find employment in other locations? I have done the move cross country and live out of a camper just for a new job thing before.

I was actually just about to suggest this, but the two aren't really mutually exclusive. Want to take some time to tour the US on a bike? Do that. Get a feel for where you'd like to live. Grab newspapers in cities (and spring/summer is definitely a better time to be homeless). Plan your journey; look into hostels and/or couchsurfing opportunities.

When your trip is over, pick a place and go there. Live cheap and rough (since you've just spent a few months training how to do that). Don't forget temp agencies for getting you a pay-the-bills sort of job while you get on your feet and figure out what sort of job you want to have. It can be done, and some cities are better for it than others. Do some research online.

I was in a similar situation at one point in my life. One day I packed up everything I cared about into a barely functional car (died the moment I reached my destination) to crash on the floor of someone I had really just met a couple weeks ago. Spent a while being homeless, got a job and eventually my own apartment (a P.O. Box is good to have an address while you have no home. Employers like you to have an address). Eventually, I figured out what I wanted to do with my life (still a work in progress), but I can easily say that was the most insane and best decision I've ever made.

[Hyde]

Pros and Cons are great. Alternatives- concrete alternatives- are great. lukewarm "well, have you tried trying really hard?" {scrubbed} is useless. If I could solve my problems with Herculean effort alone, I'd have solved them.

As it stands, my plan is thus- Spend the rest of this semester planning and plotting, making sure every contingency is thought of and addressed. In the mean time, keep looking for a job, somewhere. Prepare for the trip with conditioning, etc.

On the trip itself? document that ****, and use my degree (English, how exciting and useful!) to make a bazillion dollars by publishing (I know a guy in publishing, it's pretty neat).

The sum of everyone's control over my life, and therefore the biggest limitation I have right now is- do as I tell you, or get out. Or a metaphorical version of that. If I'm already out, I'm pretty sure that ends. hanging around here isn't going to do any good, so I'm gonna go to Indiana and spend some time there, where I know I've got at least a temporary place to stay. Might even finish school up there, depending what will transfer.

While I'll have a plan for my eventual return, I'm not so certain there will be one. /shrug. I don't know what it is you guys seem to think I'm going to be neglecting, because I have got nothing going on, despite my best efforts.

[Jack Squat]

While I'll have a plan for my eventual return, I'm not so certain there will be one. /shrug. I don't know what it is you guys seem to think I'm going to be neglecting, because I have got nothing going on, despite my best efforts.

You've got your health, a roof over your head, and food in your stomach, not quite nothing. Basically we don't want you ending up like that kid in "Into the Wild".

[TuggyNE]

lukewarm "well, have you tried trying really hard?" {scrub the post, scrub the quote} is useless.

I agree so hard and so much with this.

Also, I'd like to say that one of the annoying things about depression is precisely that it doesn't need any "sensible" reason; emotions are not rational, but that doesn't mean they are invalid or meaningless. The mere recognition that "there's nothing to be sad about" or whatever isn't helpful in the slightest, and in fact over-focusing on that is likely to be counter-productive.

For reference, Adventures in Depression (http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html) (yes, by the same person who came up with the Alot and "Clean ALL the things!").

[Crow]

From what it sounds like, this might be some helpful reading (http://www.badassyoungmen.com/).

As for my personal advice:

I agree, that it sounds like you are looking for validation on making this trip. That tells me this is not a good idea for you.

I know, "useless" advice like "try harder" isn't what you want, so here is some concrete advice-

Get in touch with all of those HR people that you said you have talked to. Ask them why you didn't get the jobs, and what you can do to improve your chances next time. Then do it.

Sometimes people who can't find jobs, can't find them because they consider the jobs which are available to be "below" them. Hopefully that isn't the case. But if it is, all you really need to do is get over yourself and pick one which has the best advancement opportunity so you aren't a grunt forever.

If the problem is that there aren't many job opportunities in your area, sit down and come up with a concrete plan on how to work a job (and possibly live) in another area with more opportunities.

Beyond that, I really think the solution in your situation is to have a stable portion of your life. Not more uncertainty. A job is a good stable portion that you can use as a base for accomplishing the other things you want in life. Or at least allowing you to save a little dough for when you do decide what you want. I am in total agreement that, barring some miracle of self-discovery and attitude change, you are going to be in the same situation when you come back, as you are right now.

[Karoht]

Before you begin striking out into another country, I recommend some smaller trips. Go to a convention in another state, or even within your own. Aim to play some games at a convention or two with some total strangers, see what you learn.

Best of luck in your travels.

[scurv]

Some rules I use to get by in life

1> Never act in the middle of emotion,

2> Wait until you have had your sober second thought before doing something.

3> If it is self destructive, Choose to sit and write instead.

4> It is ok to hurt sometimes, Depression can be a good thing, (although it still sucks) Write down your Introspection. And read it later when you are more composed.

5>Do one life affirming act every day. Walk to the store and flirt with the shy cashier for a moment, Help the elder neighbor lady mow her lawn. And if you are going to school Do your homework with feeling. Plant some veggies, even if it is only in pots. Make it a point to meet one person and Listen to them, It is hard for some people and Very hard for me. But one takes so much away from it.

6> Find a hobby or area of study outside of your field. to spend some time in.

[Proud Tortoise]

I preface this by saying I live in Texas, 'Murica- the land of the self-entitled and bigoted. A lot of this might seem trivial, but I think we as Americans tend to dismiss our problems as inconsequential when contrasted with, say, pretty much anything that happens in Africa (I'm looking at you, Uganda)- at least when we stop to think of it at all.

I hate this attitude. Really. People say "oh, you're so lucky to be in your situation! Look at all those people who are worse off than you!" No one mentions the fact that there are many people who are wealthier, etc. than you. Not that they should bring up the latter either. But it really annoys me that no one looks at the flip side.

[SiuiS]

I'm kinda in agreement with Subproject here. I'm not going to say not to do the trip, but the problems you're having probably aren't going to be solved by a trip. When/if you get back from the trip, you're still going to be living at home and unemployed.

Set a date for your trip out a few months or so (late spring/summer is a much better time to be homeless, if you get to choose when you are), and in the meantime, work on bettering yourself. Work out every day, pick up a hobby, take (and finish) on a project. If nothing else, you'll at least be in much better shape for your journey.

Certainly, but the execution is flawed I feel. Hyde came here saying "I have a bunch of negative going on and I'm leaving it behind" so any response framed negative is going to be just more of the same; more of what Hyde is leavin behind.

And while moving won't fix a problem, it does create groundwork and foundation. Life experience leads to revalation, and either Hyde will fun peace on the road, or the tools to find peace when Hyde gets back.

There is almost nothing to lose. Stability? Comes at cost of quality of life. Nothing that Hyde's situation offers them has any value to them, where leaving has value in experience, perspective, physical change, health improvement, networking, and more. There is literally no reason to choose the valueless option over the valuable option, and no amount of "it's valuable to me" will change that.

Might Hyde miss it after they Leve? Sure. But that adds alive to Hyde's current life that isn't there. Learning to appreciate what you've got is a lesson. It's not one you'll get from people on the Internet tellin you to appreciate what you've got though, especially when all those responses are couched in belittling terms. We were told li have thought about this a lot" and then people say; well, did you really think about it a lot? Maybe you didn't. Maybe you didn't put any effort into this at all. You should just stay where you are and think more. Best to be safe.

And that's terrible. It's dehumanizing. And it's only going to have the opposite effect.


Some rules I use to get by in life

1> Never act in the middle of emotion,

2> Wait until you have had your sober second thought before doing something.

3> If it is self destructive, Choose to sit and write instead.

4> It is ok to hurt sometimes, Depression can be a good thing, (although it still sucks) Write down your Introspection. And read it later when you are more composed.

5>Do one life affirming act every day. Walk to the store and flirt with the shy cashier for a moment, Help the elder neighbor lady mow her lawn. And if you are going to school Do your homework with feeling. Plant some veggies, even if it is only in pots. Make it a point to meet one person and Listen to them, It is hard for some people and Very hard for me. But one takes so much away from it.

6> Find a hobby or area of study outside of your field. to spend some time in.

see, this isn't helpful at all. It's just insulting and hurtful. it Brushes aside all the detail and time Hyde claims to have spent and says "no, I know better than you, don't make your own decisions". :smallfrown:

The only person who can truly know if Hyde will benefit from this is Hyde. I find it better to help them get the tools to survive it and the information to make concrete plans, than to try and dissuade them.

[Temotei]

I hate this attitude. Really. People say "oh, you're so lucky to be in your situation! Look at all those people who are worse off than you!" No one mentions the fact that there are many people who are wealthier, etc. than you. Not that they should bring up the latter either. But it really annoys me that no one looks at the flip side.

Agreed. You're in what situation you're in. Complaining about it from either perspective isn't going to solve anything. Ask for help if it's needed. Complaining should be used in protest, not vies for aid.

Hyde. This could be a life-changing trip or an inconsequential one. Either way, if you attempt it, you'll have done it, and you won't be worse off, at least. However, before you embark, I would recommend asking for help. Follow Crow's suggestion. Talk to your mom. Join a club or group even if you don't think it'll help. Find and keep a friend. People depend on other people. That's okay. If you've truly exhausted every single option, then go on the trip and see where it takes you, literally and metaphorically.

Good luck to you, any way you go. Peace.

[scurv]

And that's terrible. It's dehumanizing. And it's only going to have the opposite effect.



see, this isn't helpful at all. It's just insulting and hurtful. it Brushes aside all the detail and time Hyde claims to have spent and says "no, I know better than you, don't make your own decisions". :smallfrown:

The only person who can truly know if Hyde will benefit from this is Hyde. I find it better to help them get the tools to survive it and the information to make concrete plans, than to try and dissuade them.


So advice on acting in moderation, temperance with encouragement on life affirming actions is insulting? Do you assume that there is stigma attached to offering someone some advice on how to cope with being stuck in a rutt? Truthfully from what hyde has posted I think there is enough warning signs to warrant counselling and perhaps seeing the shrink. I mean hay, Times are hard and there is quite a bit of depression about. It is human. It is a natural reaction. It is not a social stigma.

[SiuiS]

So advice on acting in moderation, temperance with encouragement on life affirming actions is insulting? Do you assume that there is stigma attached to offering someone some advice on how to cope with being stuck in a rutt? Truthfully from what hyde has posted I think there is enough warning signs to warrant counselling and perhaps seeing the shrink. I mean hay, Times are hard and there is quite a bit of depression about. It is human. It is a natural reaction. It is not a social stigma.

I think advice would be fine. I do not think listing how you handle something, in a fashion disconnected from the topic at hand, is advice. It's a list. Whether or not the list has good advice, it's given in a patronizing fashion.

[Hyde]

I wake up at 0600, and write down my dreams (typically nonsense, but it's been an interesting practice, so far).
at 0630, I check the news from the night, and then webcomics (okay, sometimes the webcomics are first).
at 0700, I go for a walk.
at 0745, I take a shower
at 0800, I cook & eat breakfast.
If it's Tuesday or Thursday, I go to school at 0900, and return at 1400
Otherwise, from 0900 to 1300, I search job boards and file applications.
at 1300, I run errands, if necessary. Lunch might be around then.
at 1400, I write. Usually fiction.
around 1830, dinner happens.
1900-2200 is free time. Sometimes video games, sometimes research.
2200 is bed.

[scurv]

I think advice would be fine. I do not think listing how you handle something, in a fashion disconnected from the topic at hand, is advice. It's a list. Whether or not the list has good advice, it's given in a patronizing fashion.

So from your subjective viewpoint it is given in a patronizing fashion?

But Let us be realistic, Going on a walkabout is not something you do lightly. Especially when one is already in a situation of self improvement (he is going to school) And in a situation were their basic needs are being met.

Add to that He himself not only is displaying those warning signs of depression that for some of us are all to familiar, He himself in his own words classifies himself as emotionally broken. So yea I think a few tried and true peer help aids for dealing with depression might not be a bad idea. I see this as a cry for help, I offered my two cents to hyde. He has my best wishs and I do dearly hope that he finds some counselling and stays involved with life.

And hay hyde, If you need someone to chat up, Send me a message on the site and i'll give you my skype info.

[Hyde]

So from your subjective viewpoint it is given in a patronizing fashion?

But Let us be realistic, Going on a walkabout is not something you do lightly. Especially when one is already in a situation of self improvement (he is going to school) And in a situation were their basic needs are being met.

Add to that He himself not only is displaying those warning signs of depression that for some of us are all to familiar, He himself in his own words classifies himself as emotionally broken. So yea I think a few tried and true peer help aids for dealing with depression might not be a bad idea. I see this as a cry for help, I offered my two cents to hyde. He has my best wishs and I do dearly hope that he finds some counselling and stays involved with life.

And hay hyde, If you need someone to chat up, Send me a message on the site and i'll give you my skype info.

Eh, I appreciate the list of coping mechanisms much more than I do the vague and open ended "tryhard" lines. It doesn't matter that I've done them before- at least it's not nothing. Sub's "advice" was nothing.

[SiuiS]

So from your subjective viewpoint it is given in a patronizing fashion?

I wouldn't say it is only subjective, but yes.


But Let us be realistic, Going on a walkabout is not something you do lightly. Especially when one is already in a situation of self improvement (he is going to school) And in a situation were their basic needs are being met.

I personally find having your soul crushed, but hving a roof and some food, to not qualify as having your basic needs met. If you have nothing to live for, living Is not an achievement. So rather than promote continued existence, I am focusing on quality of life improvement.


For specifics, what plans have you already made, Hyde? I remember documentation, but I wouldn't bank on getting money out of that. Did you settle on a bike? Do you have a bike, a sufficient one? Biking now as practice would benefit a lot, try to fit that in, maybe cut out writing every other day to push yourself physically?

For electronics, if you'll be okay with writing, raw video and some forum stuff, a phone is probably a smarter investment than a laptop. Easier to get accessories for, too. The aforementioned support network of people to crash at / maybe get a meal or two with would be a good idea, too. In general, look at each option in detail, figure out which specifics you want, and begin Latin the framework now so it isn't a slog later and so nothing goes urprisingly wrong at the very end/beginning.