How would you stat a log as a weapon?

[zephyrkinetic]

I'm building a half-orc rogue/barby (don't ask) whose primary weapon is going to be a big tree trunk. I need to know how to stat it for crit range, damage dice, hardness, etc. I feel like I've seen this in some book or other, but I cannot find it for the life of me.

Any help? This is for 3.5, btw.

Edit: I should note this is a character concept I've had for awhile (see avatar), but I've only ever used him as an NPC. This is my first chance to actually play him as a character, therefore necessitating the need for me to have legit stats.

[mawexzon]

I'm pretty sure a piece of wood as a weapon is just a club.

[zephyrkinetic]

I'm pretty sure a piece of wood as a weapon is just a club.

Sort of a gross oversimplification, isn't it? A sap is just a piece of wood. So is a quarterstaff. For that matter, a shield could just be a piece of wood. I'm not saying that maybe this shouldn't have the same stats as a club, but 1d6 seems kind of low for being hit by a tree trunk.

[Averis Vol]

how big are you? because, when i think tree trunk, i think maybe a foot or two in diameter. If its a smaller tree, and the are you hold has been shaved down to be a comfortable grip I think it would very well be greatclub minus the spiky metal bits. So 1d10 damage 2handed, x2 crit, weight 12 lbs, hardness: as wood.

[Siosilvar]

Greatclub (PHB). Two-handed martial weapon, 1d10 damage, x2 crit.

Or stat it as a greathorn minotaur warhammer (MM4, EE): Two-handed exotic, 1d12 damage, x4 crit.

Take Monkey Grip (or get Powerful Build somehow) and wield a Large version for closer fidelity to the idea of hitting people with a tree.

[Urpriest]

If it's big enough that you can actually grab it I'm going to concur with people who say Greatclub.

If it's bigger than that, you're looking at a Caber. I think there were stats for them in Masters of the Wild, I don't think they got a 3.5 update.

[zephyrkinetic]

Averis:
No, I was also thinking a foot or so diameter, it just would have some conveniently placed branches sticking off for handholds. I'm almost thinking of it being wielded like a battering ram. I suppose I could just take the stats for a giant's club and try to get my DM to allow Monkey Grip or Powerful Build for me. :D

Thanks for actually giving me a serious answer, guys. I realize this is a little ludicrous.

[Snowbluff]

Sort of a gross oversimplification, isn't it? A sap is just a piece of wood. So is a quarterstaff. For that matter, a shield could just be a piece of wood. I'm not saying that maybe this shouldn't have the same stats as a club, but 1d6 seems kind of low for being hit by a tree trunk.

Picking up a piece of wood is how you make a club. It's that easy to fashion.

[Hecuba]

If it's bigger than that, you're looking at a Caber. I think there were stats for them in Masters of the Wild, I don't think they got a 3.5 update.

There were, but only as an area-based thrown weapon. Moreover, it didn't do damage unless a creature in the area was unable to move. If the were able to move, they had to make a reflex save or be pushed 5 feet.

[Humble Master]

Hmm, if he is wielding it like a battering ram maybe treat it like a heavy lance that deal bludgeoning damage?

[JackRose]

I'd say it's a club. If it's larger than a club, it's a Large club.

[Urpriest]

Actually, if we're talking about a big, unwieldy object with lots of branches...maybe a Ritiik?

[Darrin]

3.0 had stats for a caber in... I think Masters of the Wild. Can't say I'd recommend it, though. It was mostly for battlefield control.

You have to decide if you want to treat it as a great club. If not, then calculate the weight and treat it as an improvised weapon with the rules in Complete Warrior.

[Xefas]

You have to decide if you want to treat it as a great club. If not, then calculate the weight and treat it as an improvised weapon with the rules in Complete Warrior.

Speaking of which, if you can get some kind of proficiency or pseudo-proficiency with improvised weapons, it's not a bad way to go.

A 50lb improvised log would be a 2-handed weapon sized for a medium character, dealing 2d6 bludgeoning, and while it has nothing special in terms of critical damage or range, it would likely grant you a +2 bonus on Bull Rushes and possibly a +2 shield bonus due to sheer surface area (though that's up to your GM).

If you stick spikes through the end, it'd go up to 3d6, and if you get Monkey Grip/Powerful Build/Strongarm Bracers, that'd put it up to 4d6 (assuming you have the Strength to swing around a ~100lb tree trunk). And they're pretty much free! The only issue being that improvised weapon proficiency... dunno where you get that.

[karkus]

If it's a joke weapon, then it's an Improvised Greatclub. If this is your serious, day-to-day adventuring weapon, it's just a Greatclub. Making it a tree trunk is merely an ascetical feature of it; a roleplaying device. Hell, if anything, your DM should be rewarding you with roleplaying XP; not handicapping you with -4 to hit.

[gallagher]

just to let you know, monkey grip is for chumps, buy strongarm bracers. instead of taking any penalty or using up a precious feat, you instead spend some money and get to wield a weapon one size larger.

[Lateral]

Making it a tree trunk is merely an ascetical feature of it

...But monks fight with fists, not trees! (Unless we're talking Drunken Masters. Then, all bets are off.)

Anyway, I'm of the opinion that fluff is mutable, so while by strict RAW a huge tree trunk would probably just be an improvised weapon, there's no reason you shouldn't take the stats of a Greatclub (which, let's face it, is basically a log anyway) and call it a log. Maybe a Large greatclub, if you want to emphasize how big it is.

[Averis Vol]

Averis:
No, I was also thinking a foot or so diameter, it just would have some conveniently placed branches sticking off for handholds. I'm almost thinking of it being wielded like a battering ram. I suppose I could just take the stats for a giant's club and try to get my DM to allow Monkey Grip or Powerful Build for me. :D

Thanks for actually giving me a serious answer, guys. I realize this is a little ludicrous.

Thats what DnD is all about. and as you mention convenient handholds, I actually think a modified battering ram wouldn't be a far off shot idea. Maybe 2d6 damage, +2 on bull rush as well as, well, use as a battering ram. It might eat a feat but that shouldn't break the bank really.

[Roclat]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eusMzC7Rx7M

It's Log, it's log, it's better then bad it's good!

From Blamo!

Sorry...

I concur it's just a club/greatclub, if you want it to be larger you can just scale up the dice and size.

Club is D6-D8-2D6-3D6-4D6
G.Club is D10-2D8-3D8-4D8-6D8

It's curious that they don't level in unison.

Assuming it's a greatclub, you get a -2 per size category, so you could scale it 2 sizes too big to have it be 3D8 and a -4 to attack due to size. That's quite a weapon for a relatively low cost to attack, specially with a high str and some MW/Weapon focus to help reduce it.

[Roclat]

If a tree falls on a goblin in the forest, and no one is around... does the tree get XP?

[TuggyNE]

If a tree falls on a goblin in the forest, and no one is around... does the tree get XP?

Nope! It's not a creature, much less a PC. :smalltongue::smallbiggrin:

[hamishspence]

Durkon had a few things to say about trees:

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0150.html

[ericgrau]

Nope! It's not a creature, much less a PC. :smalltongue::smallbiggrin:

But if the goblin dodges the tree he gets xp for defeating it, because it's a trap.

[Shining Wrath]

How is this not a great club?

[Jeraa]

Its basically a tauren totem, from the World of Warcraft d20 RPG.

The tauren totem is an exotic 2 handed weapon, costs 20gp, deals 2d8 damage, does double damage on a critical hit, and weighs 50 pounds. Requires 15 strength to take the weapon proficiency feat for it.

How it is described: "If this massive weapon looks like an intricately carved tree trunk, that's because it is."