Maple Syrup Heist IV: Germany Goes Nuts

[The Succubus]

First they came for the maple syrup (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=254397) and I didn't protest because I don't like pancakes.

Then they came for the chicken wings (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=269560) and I didn't protest because I'm not keen on fast food.

Then they came for the walnuts (http://news.discovery.com/earth/plants/walnut-heist-nabs-pricey-nuts-121102.htm) and I didn't protest because, frankly, those things are a pain to get into.

Now (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/nutella-heist-5-5-tonnes-spread-stolen-114322452.html#id0rv6q), I am really really upset. :smallfrown:

[The Glyphstone]

We officially have a topping-themed supervillain crime spree in progress.

[Mono Vertigo]

But who can save us? Bagel Man?

[angrymudcrab]

Hey buddy, wanna buy some toppings? *opens jacket revealing a row of jars strapped to the inside*

[LaZodiac]

Epic Meal Time is just loading up for their feature length film.

[Eldan]

I can see maple wings.

But chocolate wings? These villains must be Americans.

If my theory is correct, next will be Bacon.

[Grinner]

How would you fence a truckload of Nutella?

[Tebryn]

I can see maple wings.

But chocolate wings? These villains must be Americans.

If my theory is correct, next will be Bacon.

And maple syrup wouldn't tip you off they're American? I wasn't aware Maple Syrup was that big over the pond.

[Feddlefew]

How would you fence a truckload of Nutella?

What's this about selling it? :smallconfused:

[Tebryn]

What's this about selling it? :smallconfused:

Most people don't steal 5 tons of anything for personal use.

[The Bushranger]

And maple syrup wouldn't tip you off they're American? I wasn't aware Maple Syrup was that big over the pond.

Maple syrup would be Canadian, eh.

[Iruka]

Most people don't steal 5 tons of anything for personal use.

But what else would you steal 5 tons of Nutella for? :smallconfused:

[Eldan]

And maple syrup wouldn't tip you off they're American? I wasn't aware Maple Syrup was that big over the pond.

Nah. But chocolate and chicken wings? Who else would cook that together?

[sktarq]

But what else would you steal 5 tons of Nutella for? :smallconfused:

A very long naughty video with swimming scenes?
as a way to attack those with nut allergies by switching it out in hersey bottles for a diabolical eugenic plot?
an all campus all night party-the only people more popular than those with a drink at a BYOB party?

[Cuthalion]

Number 4. Remember the walnuts (http://news.discovery.com/earth/plants/walnut-heist-nabs-pricey-nuts-121102.htm).

[The Succubus]

Amended. =3

[nedz]

Is Nutella a non-newtonian liquid ?

If so: look out for the brown swimming pool.

[Tebryn]

Nah. But chocolate and chicken wings? Who else would cook that together?

The Scottish?

[factotum]

The Scottish?

Nah--well, not unless they battered and deep fried the chocolate chicken wings, at any rate! :smallsmile:

[Elemental]

Most people don't steal 5 tons of anything for personal use.

I'd steal five tonnes of gold for personal use...

Anyway... Five tonnes of Nutella? What? How would one sell stolen Nutella?

[sana]

Actually same region in Germany had 2 previous food heists...

Two weeks ago 5 Tons of coffee and 34000 cans of Red bull Last year.
Someone is making breakfast.

[Archonic Energy]

Hey buddy, wanna buy some toppings? *opens jacket revealing a row of jars strapped to the inside*

anyone else seing Graham Stark's fence guy doing this... damn, now i'll have to find the rapidfire he's in...

[Eldan]

Nah--well, not unless they battered and deep fried the chocolate chicken wings, at any rate! :smallsmile:

Hmmm.... fair enough. So, if batter and frying oil are stolen next, it's the Scottish independence movement.

[dehro]

2 weeks ago in the village where I live (in Italy) the local rugby team hosted a party.
the next day, thieves stole what was left over from the party.
60 kg of saussages

[Cikomyr]

2 weeks ago in the village where I live (in Italy) the local rugby team hosted a party.
the next day, thieves stole what was left over from the party.
60 kg of saussages

There is a dirty joke in there somewhere

[The Succubus]

There is a dirty joke in there somewhere

In fairness, rugby teams do tend to be something of a sausage party.

[Asta Kask]

Actually same region in Germany had 2 previous food heists...

Two weeks ago 5 Tons of coffee and 34000 cans of Red bull Last year.
Someone is making breakfast.

Red Bull, nutella and coffee? For breakfast?

[lesser_minion]

Red Bull, nutella and coffee? For breakfast?

Well, it fits with Cassie's "bunch of students" theory. Although it's weird that no peanut butter or beer has been stolen yet.

[Asta Kask]

Isn't it redundant to have both coffee and Red Bull?

[dehro]

In fairness, rugby teams do tend to be something of a sausage party.

lol.. I should maybe have pointed out that said rugby team is in fact the youth team.. highschoolers and younger still.

but yeah.

[lesser_minion]

Isn't it redundant to have both coffee and Red Bull?

Perhaps. I imagine that the red bull is probably reserved for parties and essay crises.

[Holocron Coder]

My friend's reaction to this news.



Sounds like a job for...

BREADMAN!

A hero shall rise




Catch phrases include:

"Feel the tough crust of JUSTICE!"

"At your old tricks again, Doctor Atkins? Your crime spree's about to go STALE."

"Surrender! Lay aside your ill gotten grains!"


I'm torn between being amused and facepalming.

[Eldan]

Heh.
I like Bread Man.

"The Nutella Comandeer! You will never defeat me! Today, you have spread yourself too thin!"

[lesser_minion]

Breadman is going to prove himself a nuisance, isn't he?

That said, do we really have that much material to pun with this time around?

[Jack Squat]

Anyway... Five tonnes of Nutella? What? How would one sell stolen Nutella?

Resell to stores that buy expired/damaged merchandise to sell at a discount, or to a distributor in a nearby country that doesn't care where it comes from.

[nedz]

Anyway... Five tonnes of Nutella? What? How would one sell stolen Nutella?
Nice pun.

2 weeks ago in the village where I live (in Italy) the local rugby team hosted a party.
the next day, thieves stole what was left over from the party.
60 kg of saussages

I take it the thieves left the biscuits ?

[Palanan]

Originally Posted by Holocron Coder
I'm torn between being amused and facepalming.

No inner conflict for me; I just laughed out loud. I like your friend.

:smalltongue:

[GolemsVoice]

At least they did steal the good stuff. They could have stolen some of the knock-off products, and 5 tonnes of that stuff I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

[dehro]

I take it the thieves left the biscuits ?

lol..
junior team.., there were no biscuits left

[The Succubus]

Heh.
I like Bread Man.

"The Nutella Comandeer! You will never defeat me! Today, you have spread yourself too thin!"

.....good grief. That was terrible.

[Chromascope3D]

I have very, very little faith in Bread Man. (http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/27554)

And seriously, Chocolate and Chicken Wings? Has no one ever heard of the Chocolate/Bacon Theory? :smalleek:

[Venetian Mask]

Resell to stores that buy expired/damaged merchandise to sell at a discount, or to a distributor in a nearby country that doesn't care where it comes from.

Logic? In this thread? Preposterous!

As long as they don't go stealing tons of cornstarch I'm not afraid.