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dehro
2013-04-10, 07:33 AM
what mean magic items have you or your DM come up with during gaming?

I remember that in the very first time I played the game, some twenty years ago, we ended up finding a +4 sword (at first level).. but whoever claimed it would have a 50% chance of dying doing so, and serious negative bonuses unless it was worn together with a specific amulet... but our mission was to go and destroy that particular amulet.

I also once encountered a +1 armor of friendly fire.
it worked perfectly fine as a +1 armor, but if someone, especially an ally fired an arrow in its general direction or at someone engaged with it's wearer in a melee fight, it would be an automatic hit.. on the wearer of the armor. of course the DM never told us that until much later in the game when some high level NPC cast a spell to identify an object held by the wearer of said armor

do you have particular magic items that have caused much anger or laughter to you as a player or to your players?
do share!

Waspinator
2013-04-10, 12:31 PM
Potion of Magic Missile.

"Oh god, my stomach!"

SimonMoon6
2013-04-10, 12:57 PM
Sentient armor that got really, um, excited at the thought of being worn.

Technically perfectly legal by RAW, I believe.

Piedmon_Sama
2013-04-10, 02:13 PM
At one point in my campaign the fighter's player was offered one boon by a Slaadi Prince (a high-level Death Slaad). He could have said anything: a sweet mount, servants, a summer home in the outer planes, whatever. Sadly the player suffered a total loss of imagination and basically said "you choose" to the Chaotic Evil outsider. :smallsigh:

So he got a +2 Vicious, Wounding Large Greatsword. 4d6+2+1 Con base damage, 1d6 vicious damage to the user. And it had Reach. Of course the more the sword damaged the character, the more it slowly changed her. I got a good chuckle the first time the character took off her armor and realized the flesh along her back had become rubbery, black and ridged like some kind of insect's. It kept spreading as long as she used the sword, plus some extra eyes forming in the flesh of her arm. Eventually if she'd kept using it, I'd have had to have her go full-blown Starspawn. Now I just tease him constantly about pussing out of Real Ultimate Yogsothian Power. XD

Necroticplague
2013-04-10, 02:14 PM
Recently in a game I was in, we decided to try out some discount magic rings (the phrase "discount magic item" can only ever end in stories worthy of this)The DM rolled for what they were, and then rolled based on some other system, where things like "it worked too well" and "it worked, BUT..."are the main conflict resolution results. Both times, he got a 3 "it worked too well". a UMD check identified one as a Ring of Super Jumping:jumping with it on would send you sky-high, no featherfall effect. The other was a ring of Super Animal Magnetism:it starts attracting all the animals to be next to and on you. We have yet to use either of these other than to find out what they did, but we have a few ideas (since one of us can glide, island-hopping (literally) has been considered).

Anterean
2013-04-10, 02:51 PM
This technically hasn't been found... yet.

Doing our last session we found some Scrolls of Hide from Undead.. and my first thought was.. That will make a funny cursed item.:smallamused:

laeZ1
2013-04-10, 03:03 PM
This is a story from when I was an inexperienced DM. Back then, I didn't let players buy their equipment during downtime in towns. They RP'd through it. This was never an issue until one particular session... seven hours, I kid you not. Constant shopping (I changed my ways after this). One player in particular was being rather difficult.

Shopping for magical items in my game usually went a certain way:
player: Hello shopkeep, what magical daggers do you have in stock?
shopkeep: Hello player, I have these four magical daggers in stock.
shopkeep lays four daggers out on the counter, I describes the appearance.
player: What do these daggers do?
shopkeep: Let me show you.
shokkeep demonstrates magical capabilities of the daggers.
player buys a dagger, or doesn't.

Well, around comes the session, now only known as "The beginning of the end of the evil campaign" I've been juggling the players, (who all went to different shops), thinking up lots of different magic items on the spot, and eventually, one player is at a magical clothing shop... and asks for a... well, let's just call it a "Suit of Evard's Menacing Tentacles". The player was sorta sick-minded, and his character was very sick minded. The shopkeep had a magical watch.
player: What does the magical watch do?
shopkeep: Try it on.
player tries it on.
DM: Make a will save.
player: does a 15 save?
DM: Not one bit. You feel compelled to do whatever the shopkeep tells you to do. You leave the watch on, leave all of your money with the shopkeep, and head back to the party.


^meanest magical item I had ever created. The player harbors no ill feelings, and didn't take it personally (took the entire event as the beginings of a side quest, and vowed OOC to return once he rids himself of the curse. Although sick... he had a decent attitude)

Souju
2013-04-10, 03:54 PM
The Bag of Infinite Deliciousness
Inside the bag is a cupcake. If you eat the cupcake, another cupcake appears. To refuse to eat the next cupcake, you have to make a DC5 will save. Another cupcake appears. DC6. And so on, and so on, and so on. The addiction never breaks as long as the item exists.
What does eating the cupcakes do other than that? Well, one cupcake will sustain you for a single day. After 5 cupcakes, you begin to get fat and sluggish and start to take CON and/or DEX damage. It'll never drop you below one CON, but it will render you immobile due to obesity.
It's pretty evil, but fortunately the full mechanic was only experienced by the previous owner, whom I dubbed "Morbidly Obese Black Dragon" (picture the Empress of Blood except far more sympathetic...and whose wings don't work. Or legs.)
MOBD: FINALLY! I CAN BEGIN MY TAIL EXERCISES TO BURN OFF THIS WEIGHT!

Zahhak
2013-04-10, 03:58 PM
Journeyquest (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVORGr2fDk8&list=PLB600313D4723E21F&index=1)'s Sword of Fighting has this written all over it. The sword is sentient and can verbally communicate with everyone around it, cannot be lost, and can take control of its wielder if it thinks its wielder isn't good enough in a fight. Oh, and it's a violent hateful sociopath who nerded out over killing an angel, and routinely tries to kill Perf.

MesiDoomstalker
2013-04-10, 04:38 PM
Earrings of Ringing. They were enchanted earrings that looked like bells. They'd ring whenever someone within so many feet was lieing. The intensity of the ringing equated to how untruthful the lie was. The character wearing them went deaf for a day after a casual stroll through a local market. The character later went permanently deaf after the party started a long series of collective lies to get the BBEG to spare their lives. He ultimately broke the chain because he didn't hear any of the lies after about 3 rounds in, so when he was asked what he thought, he replied "WHAT!?"

Logic
2013-04-10, 06:48 PM
Shortsword of Crap - This +2 Shortsword is brown and pitted, and smells awful. Upon picking up this sword, the character is cursed, and cannot permanently get rid of this sword. If the owner of this sword ever tosses it away, at their next bowel movement, the sword returns to them, painfully, exactly how you expect.

(The meta-game explanation: The 3rd level fighter a opened a magic chest, found some gold, gems and a +2 shortsword. He then vehemently said "Shortswords are crap!"

So, being the rational, totally-not-petty 14 year old DM that I was, I cursed him.)

A later player received this sword and intentionally sent himself to prison to cause as much chaos as possible.

Slipperychicken
2013-04-10, 07:38 PM
Shortsword of Crap - This +2 Shortsword is brown and pitted, and smells awful. Upon picking up this sword, the character is cursed, and cannot permanently get rid of this sword. If the owner of this sword ever tosses it away, at their next bowel movement, the sword returns to them, painfully, exactly how you expect.


Get the Nipple Clamp of Exquisite Pain. Serves the dual purpose of negating the pain, and potentially making your DM vomit.

Awiqi
2013-04-10, 08:02 PM
Gloves that send the wearer to hell for 24 hours. If the wearer survives, they gain a level.
Gloves that turn the wearer to solid platinum.

Both have no save.

SimonMoon6
2013-04-10, 08:21 PM
This story is from way back in my early DM-ing career back when I was a kid in high school. Occasionally, I'd run rules-light games that didn't involve rolling dice much since I'd be running games with a single person at school or over the phone (looking back, I'm actually surprised at how much I did this and with how many people).

Anyway, it really wasn't a mean magic item per se. It was just a magic item that allowed the user to teleport. The player decided he'd use it to go to Hell (I forget what the reason was; it's been almost 30 years), so I told him he could try but: there was only a 1 in 4 chance he'd end up in Hell, there was a 2 in 4 chance nothing would happen, and there was a 1 in 4 chance that he'd die instantly.

Well, naturally, he tried it. Nothing happened.

And then he tried it again. It worked!

And then he started freaking out about "OMG, I had a 25% chance of dying! And I tried it twice!"

Marlowe
2013-04-11, 09:04 AM
I once gave a very serious, quite low level NE Dwarven fighter a suit of Adamantium Plate Mail.

Decorated in a pink hearts and flowers motif.

Any attempt to repaint, remodel etc to make the aesthetic less embarrasing would warp to make it even more so. An attempt to repaint it bone white resulted in the paint flowing during the night to form girlish frills.

It would play the theme tune to "Happy Days" everytime the wearer commited an evil act. And "Stars and Stripes Forever" everytime the wearer failed a move silently check.

More recently, I've inflicted somebody with a +5 travellers outfit glamoured to look like a very skimpy chain mail bikini.

Feddlefew
2013-04-11, 09:33 AM
I pulled a "sentient ring is actually a lich's phylactery" once.

It was The Incredibly Shiny Ring. The wearer could make a bluff check with a +4 circumstance to distract everyone with line of sight, once per person per day, but had a massive penalty to sneak and couldn't remove the ring. The Barbarian happened to be the first one to try it on. The party had some great, plot derailing fun with that ring.

Then the lich moved into the barbarian's body..... :smallamused:

Slipperychicken
2013-04-11, 10:40 AM
Gloves that send the wearer to hell for 24 hours. If the wearer survives, they gain a level.
Gloves that turn the wearer to solid platinum.

How is this mean? :smallconfused: Once you know how they work, you win D&D.


Use the first set, cast Plane Shift (or be a servant of Hell). Free levels forever. Also a handy escape mechanism.

Tell people the second set are Gloves of Dexterity, and harvest their platinum. Free cash forever.

Feddlefew
2013-04-11, 11:36 AM
How is this mean? :smallconfused: Once you know how they work, you win D&D.


Use the first set, cast Plane Shift (or be a servant of Hell). Free levels forever. Also a handy escape mechanism.

Tell people the second set are Gloves of Dexterity, and harvest their platinum. Free cash forever.

They could be fixed by having them only work once. I'd do it by house ruling that if you put a powerful enchantment on an item that is too mundane or low quality, it can't hold the enchantment well enough to be reusable. Like a scroll.

Jay R
2013-04-11, 03:07 PM
If the DM's intent is to be mean, nothing can beat a Ring of Three Wishes.

Waspinator
2013-04-11, 03:26 PM
A Ring of Three Wishes is why you put points in Profession (Lawyer).

Souju
2013-04-11, 03:29 PM
If the DM's intent is to be mean, nothing can beat a Ring of Three Wishes.

A Ring of Three Wishes that requires two members of the party to be able to use.
Bonus points if they're opposing alignments.

The New Bruceski
2013-04-11, 03:51 PM
Deck of Many Things.

Ninjadeadbeard
2013-04-11, 04:18 PM
The Spoony Sword - Sword that granted +2 Competence bonus to all Dex rolls...so long as the wielder was singing as he used it. I made the bard RP it. He was an assassin in a game about stealth and subtlety.

Other item was the Amulet of Hieronymus the Vile. It granted its wearer halved damage/duration against all magic. All Magic. Even friendly. And it was more or less a Horcrux for an undying Wizard. And the person who put it on was a Monk with all high physical stats and a will save in the negatives.

Suffice it to say that when he did try to remove the amulet, the rest of the party was less than amused fighting a spellslinging Hulk who could run circles around them.

scurv
2013-04-11, 05:22 PM
Player says " I want to buy a philter of Crap talking"

I was a little literal and explicit when I described what happened when said PC drank it. But I got one player to vomit so i consider it a well spent night.

Fighter1000
2013-04-11, 07:08 PM
I as the DM once put an Apple of Eternal Sleep in a dungeon. Knowing it was a magical apple but thinking it was something beneficial, our Elf Witch PC ate it. She failed her Will save (DC 19, I think?).
The campaign ended before she woke up.
In another campaign, the player who played the Elf Witch is the DM. That DM used a Ghoul Touch spell on my Dwarf Fighter, so he was paralyzed the entire combat :(
At least I got him back for that (:

Kane0
2013-04-11, 07:23 PM
We recently came across an evil suit of fullplate. It won't resize to ful the dwarf fighter so only our cleric can wear it (who is also evil) but he refuses to even try because the dwarf got sickened when he atempted to wear it.

That said this is a low-magic/loot game so we aren't parting with it just yet.

Zahhak
2013-04-11, 07:32 PM
I don't think I've ever really made a mean magic item, but I've made a down right cruel location. Several, in fact.

One was a tower. Just a plain old ordinary tower that happened to have the soul of a very power demon in it. The demon would trick people to go in, and then make the door disappear. The walls were incredibly strong (Str check 40-something to break) and you couldn't teleport out. And there was a sign that said "The only way out is up". Only, the stairs went up forever. And there was a constant voice in the back the player's minds telling them how stupid they all were and encouraging them to kill themselves. No mind altering effect at all, just the demon telling them they should kill themselves because it entertained him. It took them awhile to try to go down through the floor.

There was also a hotel the players had to go through where they had to get an object from a specific room, and then get out. They knew where in the room it was, the floor and the hallway. Only, the building frequently rearranged itself, changing the floor based on the staircase they took, rearranging the hallways based on the time of day, and rearranging the rooms within the hallways based on frustrated they were. There was a lot of other mindscrew in that hotel, such as windows you could only see from the inside, and being able to follow a single hallway from the 3rd to 1st floor without going down any steps or passing through the 2nd floor.

TuggyNE
2013-04-11, 07:37 PM
I as the DM once put an Apple of Eternal Sleep in a dungeon. Knowing it was a magical apple but thinking it was something beneficial, our Elf Witch PC ate it. She failed her Will save (DC 19, I think?).
The campaign ended before she woke up.

Wait, what?

Feddlefew
2013-04-11, 07:41 PM
Wait, what?

Doesn't eternal sleep mean coma?

Slipperychicken
2013-04-11, 07:42 PM
Wait, what?

Immunity to magic sleep effects is one of those things you just kind of glaze over when reading a statblock. Like when my Sorcerer Sleep'd a Doppelganger because the DM forgot they were immune to it.


Also, it might have been DM-fiat immunity-bypass. I've seen it before. Bad DM's hate having PCs immune to their homebrew. Like one of my DMs had a Dominate effect bypass Mind Blank because "it's weird", and commented that my Elf's sleep-immunity wouldn't have applied if we ran through his railroady no-save dream-illusion sidequest.

Feddlefew
2013-04-11, 07:51 PM
Immunity to magic sleep effects is one of those things you just kind of glaze over when reading a statblock. Like when my Sorcerer Sleep'd a Doppelganger because the DM forgot they were immune to it.


Also, it might have been DM-fiat immunity-bypass. I've seen it before. Bad DM's hate having PCs immune to their homebrew. Like one of my DMs had a Dominate effect bypass Mind Blank because "it's weird", and commented that my Elf's sleep-immunity wouldn't have applied if we ran through his railroady no-save dream-illusion sidequest.

There's different kinds of sleep (although this is DnD so the MST3K mantra applies)- I always thought of it as elves just enter a meditative state instead of REM sleep, which doesn't prevent them from being rendered unconscious but protects them from supernatural effects that would force them into a sleep state.

Also if the apple was based on the Snow White fairy tail, it's not sleep so much as suspended animation anyway. Because people generally have a pulse when they're sleeping.

Edit: A lich's touch attack in food form, now that I think about it.

Slipperychicken
2013-04-11, 07:53 PM
Also if the apple was based on the Snow White fairy tail, it's not sleep so much as suspended animation anyway. Because people generally have a pulse when they're sleeping.


If it's called Apple of Eternal Sleep, I'd call shenanigans.

Feddlefew
2013-04-11, 07:58 PM
If it's called Apple of Eternal Sleep, I'd call shenanigans.

That's what they called it (the effect, not the apple) in the original story, too. But they clearly were taking poetic license with it, since Snow White was "dead".

With a name like that, I'd expect it to cause instant death, personally.

Slipperychicken
2013-04-11, 07:59 PM
With a name like that, I'd expect it to cause instant death, personally.

Sleep implies you are still alive, and can wake up (much like Snow White actually did in the story). If it was death, I'd expect it to be called Poisoned Apple, or Apple of Death.

Feddlefew
2013-04-11, 08:03 PM
Sleep implies you are still alive, and can wake up (much like Snow White actually did). If it was death, I'd expect it to be called Poisoned Apple, or Apple of Death.

"Eternal Sleep" is frequently used as a euphemism for death in English. Hence the phrase "putting [an animal] to sleep".

Slipperychicken
2013-04-11, 08:07 PM
"Eternal Sleep" is frequently used as a euphemism for death in English. Hence the phrase "putting [an animal] to sleep".

Except for the fact it's obviously a reference to Snow White, in which the apple functioned exactly as I said (sleep, not death).

TuggyNE
2013-04-11, 08:13 PM
Immunity to magic sleep effects is one of those things you just kind of glaze over when reading a statblock. Like when my Sorcerer Sleep'd a Doppelganger because the DM forgot they were immune to it.

True enough, I just find it annoying because I'm one of those people that notices small but important things like that. :smallwink:


Also, it might have been DM-fiat immunity-bypass. I've seen it before. Bad DM's hate having PCs immune to their homebrew. Like one of my DMs had a Dominate effect bypass Mind Blank because "it's weird", and commented that my Elf's sleep-immunity wouldn't have applied if we ran through his railroady no-save dream-illusion sidequest.

It's true; fiat immunity-bypass is one of the nigh-infallible signs of bad DMing, seems to me.


"Eternal Sleep" is frequently used as a euphemism for death in English. Hence the phrase "putting [an animal] to sleep".

Yeah but… if you're dead, that's one thing, and it's quite different from being asleep. If the "apple of eternal sleep" just gave you a high-DC [death] effect, I would have no problems, but that's clearly not what happened, because the witch had (in theory, at least) a chance to wake up later.

Jay R
2013-04-11, 08:23 PM
Except for the fact it's obviously a reference to Snow White, in which the apple functioned exactly as I said (sleep, not death).

Except for the fact it's obviously a reference to Snow White, in which the apple functioned very differently, not putting Snow White into a normal sleep, but instead putting her in a state indistinguishable from death.


But I got one player to vomit so i consider it a well spent night.

OK, the thread's over. Scurv won.

Vaern
2013-04-11, 09:14 PM
My DM introduced my party to the Great Gilmac, a shopkeeper NPC who was as insane as he was powerful. He set up his shop in the middle of a harsh, uninhabitable wasteland because "there's no competition," completely overlooking the fact that there are also no customers. His shop was full of unique wondrous items that can not be found anywhere else in the world. Among his selection of one-of-a-kind items were:

An indestructible and strongly warded lockbox. I don't remember the name of the item, but it is immune to the effects of Knock and the lock constantly shifts to make it impossible to pick by mundane means. The only way to open the box is to use the only key that Gilmac created with it.
The Great Gilmac, fearing that he might lose the key or that someone may attempt to steal it, locked it inside of the lockbox for safekeeping.

The Cornucopia of the Glutton. Like many other magical items, this cornucopia can magically produce an unlimited supply of food. However, other magical items have a terrible flaw: When you eat their food, you get full and are unable to continue enjoying your infinite supply of food!
But not with the Cornucopia of the Glutton! Its delicious food magically vanishes as it reaches your stomach, allowing you to eat as much as you could possibly want!
This item was originally sold to the leader of a village. A group of giants had been stealing livestock from the village, and the villagers hoped that offering the Cornucopia to the giants would end their problem. However, when the giants realized that the food from the Cornucopia was not capable of sustaining them, they returned to the village and destroyed it, leaving the Cornucopia in the ruins for the Great Gilmac to reclaim.

The Orb of Unwanting. This item exerts a powerful magical force that quells the desires of those who hold it.
The Orb was originally created as a prize for a grand tournament. Dozens were slaughtered over the Orb, until only one combatant was left to claim it - only to find that he no longer wanted it. And so, it found its way back into the Great Gilmac's possession.

The Re-Portation Device. This sphere, when activated, is capable of transporting its user to anywhere in the multiverse that he desires. Immediately upon arrival at your destination, the device casts a spell that protects you completely from any ill effects of less hospitable planes, such as the negative energy plane, by "re-porting" you back to the exact location you were standing when you activated the device.
I'm afraid I don't remember the story behind this item, if he told one :smallfrown:

The Un-Visibility Cloak. I don't quite remember this item, besides its name. I think Gilmac said something about invisibility cloaks making you invisible to the enemy, but having the fatal flaw of leaving your enemies visible to you. Some creatures have supernatural effects that affect all who see them, regardless of if they see you, and nobody wants to be left vulnerable to such things!
The Great Gilmac, in his infinite wisdom, created the Un-Visibilty Cloak. This cloak, when wrapped around the entirety of its user, makes everything un-visible to him. I don't remember the story of how this item's original owner met his tragic end, but I'm sure he never saw it coming.

Balldanor
2013-04-11, 09:52 PM
I have an 11th lvl elf wizard in a campaign with a group of mostly lvl 5-6 characters (thanks to a lucky draw in the Deck of Many Things). We were dividing up loot after a successful crawl, and I used my first pick on a strongly magical girdle (first 2 girdles given in the campaign were pretty kick ass, so I thought it would be pretty powerful). I put the girdle on and...

my male elf wizard turns into a female elf wizard.

To add insult to injury, the rogue in the group had an orb that no one knew what it was or what it did. He asked me if I wanted to give it a shot. As annoyed as I was at the cursed girdle (and wasted loot pick), I said sure, why the hell not. It was an orb of mind swapping (or whatever it would be called). I switched minds with the new fighter that had just joined us as a guide. This wouldn't be a horrible thing except for the fact that he failed his Will save on the swap and lost his sanity in the process. The rogue had to burn one of his wishes on his Ring of Three Wishes to undo the whole mess.

Slipperychicken
2013-04-11, 10:37 PM
It was an orb of mind swapping (or whatever it would be called). I switched minds with the new fighter that had just joined us as a guide. This wouldn't be a horrible thing except for the fact that he failed his Will save on the swap and lost his sanity in the process.

Level 11 Wizard's mind with a Fighter physical stats? Can't complain there. Just kill the (now incredibly weak) Fighter and enjoy your awesome new body. If you don't mind completely losing your physical identity, of course.

Another_Poet
2013-04-11, 10:55 PM
Our rogue is slinging around a Wand of Fireball with unlimited charges. He hasn't figured out it's fueled by taking years off his life.

MesiDoomstalker
2013-04-12, 08:51 AM
Our rogue is slinging around a Wand of Fireball with unlimited charges. He hasn't figured out it's fueled by taking years off his life.

Considering its not noticeable till you hit the next age category, I can understand why.

endoperez
2013-04-12, 10:21 AM
Considering its not noticeable till you hit the next age category, I can understand why.

I hope it doesn't work that way, because DRAGONS.

If it changes your maximum age instead, so that you could die of old age before actually reaching that age category... That way there are less ways to bypass it. Besides being an elf, I guess.

Slipperychicken
2013-04-12, 10:29 AM
If it changes your maximum age instead, so that you could die of old age before actually reaching that age category... That way there are less ways to bypass it. Besides being an elf, I guess.

Warforged don't have a maximum age :smallbiggrin:


And Warforged Wandificers get real nasty when they have infinite wand charges...

Twinned Empowered Maximized Fell Drain Searing Repeat Quickened Fireball, followed up with a Twinned Empowered Maximized Fell Drain Searing Repeat Fireball. Every round, no cost other than taking years off your infinite life.

Now anything that doesn't have Evasion and a ridiculous Reflex save (or SR) takes about 900 damage and 4 negative levels the first round, plus 1800 damage and 8 negative levels on subsequent rounds. Should destroy most creatures fairly quickly.

tomandtish
2013-04-12, 02:55 PM
Ahh, the good old Armor of the Witch. A magical glove that created a powerful armor effect on the wizard who wore it (+10 if I recall).

Unfortunately, it duplicated the appearance of “Witchblade” armor (Google the anime if you don’t know what I’m talking about), could not be removed, destroyed any other clothing (magical or otherwise) the user was wearing when it activated , and automatically activated in hostile situations (and it had a VERY broad definition of hostile)!

It also was of a set size. It altered the USER when active to match the armor, including changing certain gender based attributes to make sure the user fit the armor. Base appearance didn’t change, so male face was still male face, but other things….

I spent the rest of the campaign being called Ugly Masane. :smallmad:

Amphetryon
2013-04-12, 04:54 PM
I've given out Wands of Lightning that absorb Electrical attacks (providing immunity) as their way of being refueled. The catch is, if the wands absorb over 50 charges, KABOOM!

Janus
2013-04-12, 05:19 PM
@Apple debate
Why get so upset over someone else's campaign, especially if the players involved seemed to have had a good time?

---

It's not really mean per se, but I was all set to throw a gem of Richard Rolling (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ) in a campaign.
I think the idea was that you'd spend about three rounds being rickrolled, and after that you'd hear a deep voice saying, "Thou hast been rollt by Richard."

Zahhak
2013-04-12, 05:21 PM
Am I the only one that actually likes that song? I think my Hipsterism has progressed greatly... :smalleek:

Janus
2013-04-12, 05:28 PM
Am I the only one that actually likes that song? I think my Hipsterism has progressed greatly... :smalleek:
You're not the only one, don't worry. I've found that I'm a sucker for 80s pop music.

Feddlefew
2013-04-12, 05:29 PM
You're not the only one, don't worry. I've found that I'm a sucker for 80s pop music.

I enjoy listening to it too.

Fighter1000
2013-04-12, 05:56 PM
I didn't overlook my Elf Witch PC's immunity to sleep effects. She had none.
The player of that Elf Witch substituted her immunity to sleep for a fire resistance of 5. Pathfinder rules

endoperez
2013-04-12, 06:17 PM
Warforged don't have a maximum age :smallbiggrin:

So they don't have the thing that empowers the wand, and it doesn't work for them.

I guess we both agree that it's a cool idea, and the specific rules we'd prefer to attach to it really don't matter that much.

Feddlefew
2013-04-12, 06:35 PM
I've heard of people giving intelligent undead potion labeled "healing". That heal the undead, not the living. I've never had an opportunity to use that trick.

Sith_Happens
2013-04-13, 08:23 AM
Ahh, the good old Armor of the Witch. A magical glove that created a powerful armor effect on the wizard who wore it (+10 if I recall).

Unfortunately, it duplicated the appearance of “Witchblade” armor (Google the anime if you don’t know what I’m talking about), could not be removed, destroyed any other clothing (magical or otherwise) the user was wearing when it activated , and automatically activated in hostile situations (and it had a VERY broad definition of hostile)!

It also was of a set size. It altered the USER when active to match the armor, including changing certain gender based attributes to make sure the user fit the armor. Base appearance didn’t change, so male face was still male face, but other things….

I spent the rest of the campaign being called Ugly Masane. :smallmad:

The way I see it, Partial Gender-Changing + Gloryborn is a small price to pay for a +10 armor bonus with no ASF or ACP.:smallwink:

Vaern
2013-04-13, 08:09 PM
I asked my DM to remind me of a few of the items in the Great Gilmac's shop and fixed a couple of my previous item descriptions. Other trinkets he had lying around his shop included:

The Eyes of the Stranger. This pair of glass eyes requires the removal of their user's own eyes to equip, rendering him completely blind.
The Eyes of the Stranger grant their wearer the ability to see through the eyes of anyone within range, provided that he is not familiar with that person. The ability is automatic and requires no line of sight or line of effect: Whenever a stranger enters the Eyes' range, the user of the Eyes sees everything he or she sees.
The original owner of the Eyes of the Stranger was a paranoid king. He purchased the Eyes from the Great Gilmac knowing that he would only be able to see himself if someone he didn't know was following him. As he suspected, assassins did come after him, and through the power of the Eyes he was able to foil every one of their plans.
The king constantly saw through the eyes of castle serfs when he was trying to sleep, preventing him from resting and eventually driving him mad. His son, whom he had appointed his guide and caretaker, decided to free himself of the king's increasing paranoia by "accidentally" guiding the king into a pit to his death.

Gilmac's Luck-Defying Chance Cube. This six-sided die, when activated, always rolls to show the face that its user desires.
To activate the Chance Cube, its user must cast the die and clearly speak a command phrase such as, "I command you to roll a four!" The Chance Cube then shifts to present the desired number.
The obvious verbal command required to activate the die and the awkward manner in which it repositions itself make the Chance Cube impossible to cheat with. I think it's obvious what happened to this trinket's original owner.

Jay R
2013-04-14, 08:51 AM
And let's not forget the fabled Head of Vecna (http://www.blindpanic.com/humor/vecna.htm).

Geordnet
2013-04-14, 08:59 AM
And let's not forget the fabled Head of Vecna (http://www.blindpanic.com/humor/vecna.htm).
To be fair, that idea came from some of the players, not the GM. :smalltongue:

tomandtish
2013-04-14, 10:06 AM
The way I see it, Partial Gender-Changing + Gloryborn is a small price to pay for a +10 armor bonus with no ASF or ACP.:smallwink:

You've failed in a mission for the Duke. He starts yelling at you, the armor interprets that as hostile, and you armor up (remember, BROAD definition of hostile). So not only does he and his guards think you are preparing to attack, they aren't sure you are you because of the change.

Oh yes, it had disadvantages.

Sith_Happens
2013-04-14, 01:53 PM
You've failed in a mission for the Duke. He starts yelling at you, the armor interprets that as hostile, and you armor up (remember, BROAD definition of hostile). So not only does he and his guards think you are preparing to attack, they aren't sure you are you because of the change.

Oh yes, it had disadvantages.

Judging by the pictures I found, it'd be a fairly large stretch for them to recognize the "armor" as armor in the first place.:smallamused:

More likely, they would conclude that you're a succubus with a horrible sense of timing. Which might be better or worse, depending.

Gereo
2013-04-14, 03:50 PM
My favorite trap i ever dreamed up, not overly deadly...not even very trap-like. An antimagic field, sandwiched between four brick walls...in the middle of a maze. Ethereal characters go in but they don't go out, mageslayers descend, via concealed trapdoor to collect them directly.

TuggyNE
2013-04-14, 07:47 PM
My favorite trap i ever dreamed up, not overly deadly...not even very trap-like. An antimagic field, sandwiched between four brick walls...in the middle of a maze. Ethereal characters go in but they don't go out, mageslayers descend, via concealed trapdoor to collect them directly.

It's not at all clear to me how this is supposed to work. Anything that winks out in an AMF is just not there, and ethereal creatures aren't necessarily even affected by an AMF to begin with. Even if they were, they wouldn't switch planes.

Geordnet
2013-04-14, 08:49 PM
It's not at all clear to me how this is supposed to work. Anything that winks out in an AMF is just not there, and ethereal creatures aren't necessarily even affected by an AMF to begin with. Even if they were, they wouldn't switch planes.
The principle still works, though, you just need to replace/supplement the Anti-Magic Field with some sort of field that does this. Which, if you're GMing, can be made up homebrewed. :smalltongue:

TuggyNE
2013-04-14, 08:58 PM
The principle still works, though, you just need to replace/supplement the Anti-Magic Field with some sort of field that does this. Which, if you're GMing, can be made up homebrewed. :smalltongue:

I don't think there's a field spell as such that does this, but a make manifest/dimensional lock combination spell trap would probably work.

Seems awfully expensive for a fairly niche use though.

Jay R
2013-04-14, 10:07 PM
I once had a dungeon created by a brilliant but mad wizard - the Mathemagician.

This mad but brilliant wizard created the entire fourth level using a spell that turned 10x10x10 blocks of rock both ethereal and invisible.

This means that the rock is still there. You can walk and see down the corridors, but ethereality won't help you, and a Dispel Magic might trap you in tons of suddenly real rock.

TuggyNE
2013-04-14, 10:15 PM
This means that the rock is still there. You can walk and see down the corridors, but ethereality won't help you, and a Dispel Magic might trap you in tons of suddenly real rock.

Hmm, does dispel magic count for crossing to the Ethereal Plane? Seems like it might, but it's not real clear.

Other than that, yeah, that's a wild and wonderful dungeon indeed.

DigoDragon
2013-04-15, 07:28 AM
The meanest magic item I ever created was the "Dispelling Super Ball". The party was given this magic item by an eccentric wizard after the PCs did a few favors for him. It was a rubber ball that if thrown at a magical trap, it would absorb that trap's magic.
The wizard mentioned that he has't tested it yet and some of the absorbed magic might convert into kinetic energy so be careful not to throw it in a tight space or at people's heads.

The party took the item and then traveled to an old warlock's dungeon that was currently the hideout of a group of drow priests and wizards. The job was to clear out the drow and recover a powerful artifact, the Sun Blade, from them.

The drow group was found very quickly and like clockwork, the party sorcerer threw the Dispelling Super Ball at the Sun Blade. Why? He figured if neutralized it couldn't be used against the party. Not that the drow planned that, nor me the DM, but...
So let's roll with it! The super ball absorbed the magic of an artifact, and went bouncing down a hall at a rocketing speed. The drow scatter from the overpowering PCs. The party, greedy to kill all the drow for loot, split up and chase the drow through the maze-like dungeon.

The next hour was an exercise in why my players hate "dodge ball". See, the dungeon was FILLED with magical traps and the ball was just to make things a bit easier. However, now that the ball was overloaded with the Sun Blade's energy, the traps only served to keep this deadly bludgeoning weapon on a rampage. This ball left cracks in stone and smashed through wooden doors like a hot knife through melted butter.
The two rogues in the party wre mapping out the ball's path with some success, which proved useful in luring a few drow into bludgeoning death.

I forget how I did the calculations, but the ball was doing about 4d6 lethal damage per hit and traveled at about 400 feet a turn by the time it reached one of the dungeon's exits. When that ball exited the dungeon (and flew up into the stratosphere), it had a kill count of 5 drow and 2 PCs. :smallbiggrin:

My players both hated that ball and loved the hijinks it caused in that dungeon.
But wow was that one mean superball.

Ozfer
2013-04-15, 07:33 AM
That... Is amazing.

Another_Poet
2013-04-15, 01:49 PM
Considering its not noticeable till you hit the next age category, I can understand why.

There has been some pretty heavyhanded hinting. I think the player knows it's doing something bad to him, and is intentionally playing reckless :smallamused::smallamused:

Slipperychicken
2013-04-15, 01:54 PM
There has been some pretty heavyhanded hinting. I think the player knows it's doing something bad to him, and is intentionally playing reckless :smallamused::smallamused:

You could start giving him wrinkles and gray hairs.

Zahhak
2013-04-15, 05:27 PM
You could also scale down the age categories. So, instead of hitting the next age cat at 50, after 30 uses he finds himself already advancing an age category.

A Tad Insane
2013-04-15, 07:58 PM
The vorpal sword of magicalness
It triggers all detect magic like spells, but does nothing other than being vorpal

The pendant of plot relavence
All NPCs aware of it's existance must act like it's extremely important

The wubbajack
Roll three d20 to decide the effect. Roll a d10 to decide the target.

TuggyNE
2013-04-15, 08:31 PM
The vorpal sword of magicalness
It triggers all detect magic like spells, but does nothing other than being vorpal

Vorpal… already is… inherently and explicitly magic? :confused:

Where's the mean part come in? What about this is in any way unusual?

Zahhak
2013-04-15, 09:58 PM
The first part of the description makes me think that using a "Detect Magic" type effect on the sword will tell you it has a huge number of magical abilities it doesn't have.

Slipperychicken
2013-04-16, 07:57 PM
The wubbajack
Roll three d20 to decide the effect. Roll a d10 to decide the target.

Pfft. Real men use a Rod of Wonder, houseruled with d1000 and this list (http://www.traykon.com/pdf/The_Net_Libram_of_Random_Magical_Effects.pdf).

Silva Stormrage
2013-04-16, 09:48 PM
Pfft. Real men use a Rod of Wonder, houseruled with d1000 and this list (http://www.traykon.com/pdf/The_Net_Libram_of_Random_Magical_Effects.pdf).

Oh...oh my god.... I am giving that to my players IMMEDIATELY. Or as soon as humanly possible.

Hyde
2013-04-17, 01:59 AM
The meanest magical item I ever gave someone was either something functionally identical to the sword of fighting (but with Glorian's personality) or the decidedly evil sword, Miroku.

Miroku's power's were varied, but mostly involved cutting things. He didn't really like being used for anything that wasn't his intended purpose, so when his owner jumped off of a 600-ft colossus, intent on relying on Miroku's levitation as a feather fall effect, Miroku kind of just... didn't. The players were of a sufficient level that the fall ended up not being lethal, though it would have been if I'd rolled 1 higher on every other die.

There was also the Broad Sword. It was a deep crystal +2 mind crusher (I think) greatsword. It was also psionically audible and would moan erotically every time it was drawn. The game effect was everyone in 60ft who failed their will save was considered flat-footed because of the distraction.

Krazzman
2013-04-17, 04:14 AM
There was also the Broad Sword. It was a deep crystal +2 mind crusher (I think) greatsword. It was also psionically audible and would moan erotically every time it was drawn. The game effect was everyone in 60ft who failed their will save was considered flat-footed because of the distraction.

As long as the player drawing the sword doesn't say: "I've got something to put in you!"...

The meanest thing I have so far implemented in my PF campaign?

Warping Corridors... basically 7 rooms were built around a main room. Every room(except 3) had 4 corridors leading either to the middle one, to the one on the oppisite site and one to either the room on the right or left. The far left had no corridor going left and the far right had no corridor to it's right.

Confused the **** out of my party... otherwise the Barbarian/Oracle has a purple, 30cm high, stuffed teddy bear that insta respawns in his backpack/bed if destroyed. Similar to the ivory pipe but I want to take this one to a new level of... creepy. Have to think of something still.

dehro
2013-04-17, 04:22 AM
otherwise the Barbarian/Oracle has a purple, 30cm high, stuffed teddy bear that insta respawns in his backpack/bed if destroyed. Similar to the ivory pipe but I want to take this one to a new level of... creepy. Have to think of something still.

that reminds me of when John Malkovic "takes the pig" in the film RED

A Tad Insane
2013-04-17, 02:09 PM
The first part of the description makes me think that using a "Detect Magic" type effect on the sword will tell you it has a huge number of magical abilities it doesn't have.

This

The NPC they got it from had more magical effects on it than I can remeber, multiple burn marks, gangrene, and other nasty stuff, mostly concentrated in his sword hand.
The party kept trying to figure out what it did, and I kept saying, "it's vorpal, and something else". They assumed it was sort of like the plague curse from that one anime that's name I'm forgetting where the guy goes to the nature god to cure the curse he got from the evil boar god.
They once tried to doom a pompous duelist by giving her it.

Not as evil as you might think, but that session I gave the rats spontaneous combustion disease, so they were rather paranoid about everything

Hyde
2013-04-17, 03:07 PM
They assumed it was sort of like the plague curse from that one anime that's name I'm forgetting where the guy goes to the nature god to cure the curse he got from the evil boar god.


Sounds like Princess Mononoke, off the cuff.

Doorhandle
2013-04-18, 12:00 AM
The Un-Visibility Cloak. I don't quite remember this item, besides its name. I think Gilmac said something about invisibility cloaks making you invisible to the enemy, but having the fatal flaw of leaving your enemies visible to you. Some creatures have supernatural effects that affect all who see them, regardless of if they see you, and nobody wants to be left vulnerable to such things!
The Great Gilmac, in his infinite wisdom, created the Un-Visibilty Cloak. This cloak, when wrapped around the entirety of its user, makes everything un-visible to him. I don't remember the story of how this item's original owner met his tragic end, but I'm sure he never saw it coming.

Well played. *slow clap.*

Also would like to point out an example from Another Gaming Comic: illusionary AIR. (http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=58) (Could be worse: could be cloudkill.)

SilverLeaf167
2013-04-19, 10:04 AM
I mentioned this in the "Rest in Peace" thread, and was promptly directed this way.

Ring of Haste
As long as it's worn, it grants a continuous Haste effect to every creature within a 20 feet radius. Yes, that includes enemies.

The Fighter in the party obviously thought the item was awesome. Against singular monsters, it probably would have been. However, the first time he used it was against five crystallized goblins (long story) armed with heavy picks and an abnormally high Str score. In that context, the ring effectively gave the party two extra attacks per turn: him and the Rogue. The enemy group, however, got five extra attacks, effectively doubling their damage output and also giving them a lot more chances to roll crits. Which they did. Four times. In one turn. On the poor Fighter. With heavy picks.

Yeah, he was pretty much Swiss cheese after that, but fortunately his death deactivated the ring and the rest of the party managed to clear out the weakened goblins. The session ended there; they'll be raising the Fighter next time, but he'll definitely be more careful with that ring from now on.

Jay R
2013-04-19, 01:01 PM
Ring of Haste
As long as it's worn, it grants a continuous Haste effect to every creature within a 20 feet radius. Yes, that includes enemies.

Put it on the archer, far from the enemy. Ideally, give it to a member of a longbow unit, right before a battle.

SilverLeaf167
2013-04-19, 01:22 PM
Put it on the archer, far from the enemy. Ideally, give it to a member of a longbow unit, right before a battle.
Yes, it definitely has its uses, especially if the party realizes the potent problem and actually has an archer. :smalltongue:
As I mentioned, it's also nice against some specific sorts of targets: enemies you outnumber, for example, or enemies that rely on having a whole bunch of weaker attacks. But on enemies with a single strong attack, like in my example? A very bad idea.

Slipperychicken
2013-04-19, 01:53 PM
Put it on the archer, far from the enemy. Ideally, give it to a member of a longbow unit, right before a battle.

Or just sell it and use the cash to add Speed to your weapon.

SilverLeaf167
2013-04-19, 02:14 PM
Or just sell it and use the cash to add Speed to your weapon.
They would either have to not mention it affects others (though I think anyone buying a magical ring would Identify it anyway) or face the fact that most warriors have better common sense than they do. :smallwink:

Lord Torath
2013-04-19, 02:23 PM
You don't try to sell it to adventurers, Silly! You approach the local authority and offer a ring that will increase the speed of his best squad of archers! :smallbiggrin:

Emmerask
2013-04-19, 02:28 PM
The (false) Bringer of Death
(Appeared to be a +5 or so bastard-sword + bonus stuff[vorpal, keen,sound burst and some other stuff] so a truly epic sword)

For the user it seemed like every hit did awesome damage (illusion) in actuality it did absolutely no damage.

I felt kind of bad after seeing the happiness in the players eyes when I described how he severed the wing of an elder dragon with just one strike
and how the dragon cowered in fear and shock before him the mighty hero wielding the sword that will be his downfall...

And then I crushed his soul describing what actually happened to the other players... oh well :smallfrown:

Lothmar
2013-04-19, 03:16 PM
No idea what it was actually but we commonly referred to it as 'gnome in a backpack' - it was an enchanted adamantine box that the fighter carried, the inside of the box was enchanted so that the person inside could see out and the walls absorbed magic and redirected it from the outside wall as if the box itself was casting the spell it also had perpetual air supply. It was set up so that so long as the pack was worn the caster could not get out of the box, but so long as there was a caster in the box it could not be taken off. Thankfully me (the gnome) and the fighter were an awesome team and I had food/drink summoning items and though I went stir crazy from time to time, we dominated any fight we went into almost because it was pretty much impossible to flank my teammate now. Unfortunately fighter got killed one day by an ability from in front of him that I couldn't do anything about and so he died with the backpack on and the rest of the party retreated and the badguys drug us away and threw me into a crevice... Two campaigns later I get a call to play an npc because of an 'object' and sure enough I got to play my gnome who had apparently gone crazy over 20+ years of isolation but man was it a fun cameo. ~chuckle~

In another adventure (fantasy craft) I was playing a warforged equivlanent. Anywho, plot and sidequests lead us to traveling and I suddenly performed an incredibly random roll and my GM just started laughing and so I desperately get the boat to stop because I had this 'feeling' and so I dived to the bottom of the ocean. There on the floor was a giant gold nugget that we came to dub 'Poseidons golden butt plug'. Since we needed a better ship for the inevitable war and needed a treasury etc I think nothing of it and pull the nugget out. We get sucked through a whirlpool and fall out of the sky on top of a volcano and for the most part trap our ship - thankfully the nugget and us all survived thanks to a giant steam gout from the sea water pouring into the volcano that slowed us down to 'wedge' into the top of the volcano until the water stops falling. We eventually found our way off the island but it just so happend to be the perfect lead in to getting another player into our party whom the Gm decided was marooned due to backstory and had no idea how we were going to find him due to our travel route/schedule. ~chuckle~

Gloves of fondling, enough said…

Black Bag of abduction - You put it over someones head and they get paralyzed, there was another component to it but I forget…

I forget how to spell it, but it's one of those things you burn inscents in…. I think a Cesnure of Censor - Smoke covered anything visually obscene or dampened the sound of anything audibly obscene or masked the scent/taste/touch of anything obscene etc. The local government was clamping down on certain activities so these things were in any business of repute so all the bars, brothels, gambling dens etc all had one and we didn't stay longer then a night. ~chuckle~

Cursed ball gag of silence - when you put this one on it unfortunately forces itself back into your throat and you die a slow death likely choking on your own vomit as the ball keeps trying to make you gag.

Zahhak
2013-04-19, 03:20 PM
They would either have to not mention it affects others (though I think anyone buying a magical ring would Identify it anyway) or face the fact that most warriors have better common sense than they do.

Or you could gloat about its abilities as you're selling it to a company of mercenary archers.

SimonMoon6
2013-04-19, 03:45 PM
All artifacts are mean by their very nature. However...

Back in the 1st edition days when artifacts were completely random (meaning the DM could give them any powers or curses from certain lists), there was a certain PC who wanted to resurrect the character's dead wife. And this was in a game where resurrections and raise deads were not as common as they are in 3.x, etc.

Well, he heard rumors that the Rod of Seven Parts could bring the dead back to life. This sent him on a quest to find the parts which was a big deal. Finally, he got all the parts... though for certain reasons, he found the first part last (iirc).

Well, as he attached the first part to the other six parts, the Rod of Seven Parts inflicted one rather big curse: it changed his gender. So, yes, he could resurrect his dead wife now but he'd never be able to have "relations" with her ever again.

:)

Things didn't *really* end like that though. He later (in a different, more high-tech universe) got another PC to scientifically clone him a gender-back-to-normal body and got his brain switched into that new body. (Though the science-y PC botched a roll and dropped the brain on the ground during the transfer, so some INT points were lost while manhood was regained.)

TuggyNE
2013-04-19, 08:43 PM
All artifacts are mean by their very nature.

Wait what? What's wrong with the Philosopher's Stone, or the Talisman of Pure Good/Ultimate Evil? How about the Moaning Diamond or Saint's Mace?

Doorhandle
2013-04-19, 08:57 PM
Because Even a minor artefact is going to attract a comparatively larger amount of attention that even the strongest normal magic item. It's not just an item, it's a plot hook.

dehro
2013-04-20, 01:43 AM
hilarious stuff.

some of these items kind of make me wonder what kind of campaigns you were playing at..anyway, kudos.. there are some real gems in there.

JellyPooga
2013-04-20, 06:50 AM
Not one I've actually used, but I've always wanted to throw the Blindfold of See Invisibility at a party, to see what they do with it. The predictable effect is that to use it, you must cover your eyes, thus blinding you, but the magical effect lets you see things that are invisible (and only things that are invisible). Not a "mean" item per se, but an interesting one, I think.

Vaern
2013-04-20, 09:05 AM
Not one I've actually used, but I've always wanted to throw the Blindfold of See Invisibility at a party, to see what they do with it. The predictable effect is that to use it, you must cover your eyes, thus blinding you, but the magical effect lets you see things that are invisible (and only things that are invisible). Not a "mean" item per se, but an interesting one, I think.

There's a magic item in the Magic Item Compendium called the Blindfold of True Darkness. When worn, it grants its user blindsight out to 30 feet and grants immunity to gaze attacks and other sight-based effects.

Slipperychicken
2013-04-20, 09:49 AM
Not one I've actually used, but I've always wanted to throw the Blindfold of See Invisibility at a party, to see what they do with it. The predictable effect is that to use it, you must cover your eyes, thus blinding you, but the magical effect lets you see things that are invisible (and only things that are invisible). Not a "mean" item per se, but an interesting one, I think.

That could be pretty useful, actually, depending on what action it is to don/remove (not taking it off your head, just pulling it above your eyes).

Worst case, you just put it on your familiar and have him immediately alert you to the presence and location of invisible things.

Lothmar
2013-04-20, 03:28 PM
I've had some random luck with potions.

A potion of 'hide from animal' produced a stack of hides from animals when I drank it once.

A potion of 'hide from undead' forced me to hide whenever I thought undead were about. ~chuckle~

The monkeys paw of five wishes was a pretty awesome artifact. All the wishes went sour eventually and if you used all five the artifact would kill you.

Once met a door to door salesman who was selling wands of infinite charges prestidigitation. Talk about your multitool right there. Start a fire, heat up your soup to a certain temperature, season said soup with a unique flavor, clean the dirty dishes after eating, clean my clothes after I take them off for a bath, scent the bath water, dry myself off without a towel after the bath, warm my clothes up like fresh out of the dryer... That character decided to stop adventuring as soon as he got that item and retired leaving the entire party to go 'wtf!?'

Whats awesome was they decided to see what was so awesome about this item and each got one from the same vendor and did the same thing as me and started enjoying the easy life and we all just retired and turned it into an urban campaign instead of the established plot. ~chuckle~

Waspinator
2013-04-20, 06:21 PM
If we want mean: Arrow of Cure Light Wounds.

Slipperychicken
2013-04-20, 10:19 PM
A potion of 'hide from animal' produced a stack of hides from animals when I drank it once.

A potion of 'hide from undead' forced me to hide whenever I thought undead were about. ~chuckle~


It'd have been better if "hide from undead" gave you a stack of rotted animal skins.

Asahel24601
2013-04-20, 10:41 PM
Crystals that allowed the user to cast any spell that the crystal had stored (And it was infused by a god). The catch: if it is used/carried by anyone except a fiend for more than an hour(the entire party was human) they were cursed. Anything from instant death to loosing your mind and becoming an animal.

Zahhak
2013-04-20, 11:47 PM
Not a mean item, but more what my harder thought was going to happen:

They were the underdark and were getting recruited by a Drow without knowing much about her. Three party members: one spoke elven but was (lets say) a social idiot, another spoke sylvan but not elven and I think wanted to kill her (thus destroying the plot), and the last one is the brains in the party who didn't speak anything other then common, which the Drow didn't speak. After getting frustrated with the social idiots, she turned to the last party member and offered him a ring that would let him speak undercommon. The party all immediately assumed it was poisonous, somehow, and expected him to die.

lyko555
2013-04-21, 03:44 PM
the ring of cheese thought
it was a sentient ring that asked its wielder if they like cheese at the time of them putting it on if they said not it started to burn them 1 point per rnd till removed.
if they said yes the ring would attach itself to their finger and would provide a complete mind blank effect for them anyone trying to read there mind or communicate telepathically just heard the many names for cheeses being repeated over and over.
the downside was twofold they had to make a dc 15 will check to wake up because the wonderous dreams of cheese were better than being awake, the second was a dc 20 will save to avoid eating any cheese you happened upon. no matter how full you were.

Lord Torath
2013-04-21, 08:57 PM
If we want mean: Arrow of Cure Light Wounds.BXCMI/RulesCyclopedia had these. They were blunt arrows marked with a healing symbol, and they healed their target, rather than inflicting any damage.

Lothmar
2013-04-22, 11:44 AM
I think you mean Barb hooked arrows of cure light so that it heals around the entry wound just enough to make pulling out the arrow all the more excruciating. Also the activation action for the cure magic is preemptively dipping the arrowhead in lemon juice/coating in salt/piss/appropriate. ~chuckle~
-------
One of my favorite campaigns centered around a 5 piece artifact set I called 'the orbs of elemental alignment'. The orbs would force an alignment change on the character over time if they possessed them long enough, you could save against the effects for a short time but never forever.

Effectively each orb granted a small array of dailys and the set was needed to combat an ancient evil etc but we never got to the end quarter of the game where that came in so meh.

You could use up to 2 orbs at a time, however you could not use completely opposed forces - ex: you could not wield the law and chaos orbs at the same time and use both. You could wield Law and good, or chaos and good, or neutral and good or similar combinations. The orb of neutrality had facet indentations and allowed two spheres to be used in even greater combination and form a new singular orb and power list set. Regardless, it was a crazy fun campaign with the party constantly recovering these artifacts or trading them to other factions for specific pieces over and over again and it was just an awesome cluster. ~chuckle~

The neutrality sphere could also be used to unite the other four alignments into a single alignment artifact.

Lothmar
2013-04-22, 12:04 PM
I don’t know if it counts as a 'mean magic item' but I remember once I got shorted by a baker in a town, he said he didn't have enough change for my order - something like 5 copper I think and wouldn't offer me it as a store credit or take a loss by charging me less etc so I remember using a whole bunch of spells to mess with his business.

I remember enchanting a muffing of Terror from the goods I bought that day and slipping it onto the muffin pile while he was distracted and it was just so gratifying to see dozens of people fleeing from a muffin. ~chuckle~ Granted in hindsight I probably lost a couple hundred gold of spell ingredients getting my revenge and ruining his business but it was about the principle and also forcing him into a slave like work contract to bake only for me.

Slipperychicken
2013-04-22, 04:35 PM
I don’t know if it counts as a 'mean magic item' but I remember once I got shorted by a baker in a town, he said he didn't have enough change for my order - something like 5 copper I think and wouldn't offer me it as a store credit or take a loss by charging me less etc so I remember using a whole bunch of spells to mess with his business.


:smallconfused:

Yeah... most DMs have no idea how businesses work, nor do they realize how vital it is for businesses to make maintain their reputations. Besides, giving store credit means he keeps the whole 5 coppers if you never come back, and gets more sales (and potentially customer loyalty) if you do. It's a win-win for him.

LeoLionxxx
2013-04-22, 04:46 PM
If we want mean: Arrow of Cure Light Wounds.

Sounds sort of like the 'Dagger of Healing' I gave my party.

This dagger will instantly heal any cut wounds inflicted by it; the user still feels pain (unless they attune themsleves to it, D&D NEXT stlye).

My party found this on a goblin cleric who they learned would use it for activating a magic orb via blood. However when they found it, they immediatly though 'torture dagger'.

Also, if the person such cuts were made and healed on is killed, the wounds will reopen.



Also, I gave the boss of the dungeon magic ring that allowed him to teleport away from the fight. Downside? It teleported only the ring itself and his living matter, meaning all his armour, and equipment, as well as hair, nails, and dead skin, fell to the ground. The group got a kick out of thinking of the guy runnign around butt naked somewhere :D

Geordnet
2013-04-22, 05:27 PM
If we want mean: Arrow of Cure Light Wounds.
Better idea:

The Contrarian
A cursed intelligent weapon that does the opposite of what it thinks its owner wants. It'll heal those it thinks are it's wielder's enemies, hurt friends, et cetera. It's also got a +5 bonus and can shapeshift into any kind of melee weapon imaginable, so long as its owner hates it. Thankfully though it has the intelligence of a senile old man, and the hearing to match...:smalltongue:

The Grue
2013-04-30, 02:36 AM
DM I played with breifly in highschool once dished out an interesting weapon as joke loot from a random encounter spawned by a running gag: a mundane Greatsword that rolled damage on a d30. "If you can find a d30," he said with a mischevious grin, "you can use it."

Two weeks later the party Paladin shows up with, and I kid you not, a 30-sided die he found in a gaming shop in Vancouver.

The DM, his bluff called, decreed that we no longer had the sword. :smallannoyed:

TuggyNE
2013-04-30, 04:08 AM
DM I played with breifly in highschool once dished out an interesting weapon as joke loot from a random encounter spawned by a running gag: a mundane Greatsword that rolled damage on a d30. "If you can find a d30," he said with a mischevious grin, "you can use it."

Two weeks later the party Paladin shows up with, and I kid you not, a 30-sided die he found in a gaming shop in Vancouver.

The DM, his bluff called, decreed that we no longer had the sword. :smallannoyed:

That's not a mean magic item, that's just a mean magic DM. :smallyuk:

dehro
2013-04-30, 04:20 AM
yeah.. he should have allowed it...after all it was his idea.

turbo164
2013-04-30, 09:38 AM
Yeah...if he wanted it to be a gag, it should have been a D17 or D33 or some other geometrically improbable number, as I've seen d30s in several places. And rather than deleting the sword, have it cursed to deal 1d19 to the wielder :smalltongue:

The only semi-mean item I remember giving my players (most of my meanness comes from monsters and traps and awkward social situations!) was a "Staff of Resurrection", that had some number of charges, and when used secretly had a 10% chance to True Resurrection, 20% Resurrection, 30% Raise Dead, 40% Reincarnation. They rolled True Res EVERY TIME, so they never experienced the meanness of level loss/failing to raise a severed toe/raising as a Bugbear/etc. Campaign ended without them realizing it could roll anything else :smallannoyed:

Amphetryon
2013-04-30, 09:49 AM
I've given out a wand of Inflict Minor Wounds before.

Mystic Muse
2013-04-30, 12:37 PM
DM I played with breifly in highschool once dished out an interesting weapon as joke loot from a random encounter spawned by a running gag: a mundane Greatsword that rolled damage on a d30. "If you can find a d30," he said with a mischevious grin, "you can use it."

Two weeks later the party Paladin shows up with, and I kid you not, a 30-sided die he found in a gaming shop in Vancouver.

The DM, his bluff called, decreed that we no longer had the sword. :smallannoyed:

I have a 30-sided die in my dice bag at all times. If a DM said this, I'd pull it out immediately.

And if he took it away just as immediately, I'd probably walk from that game.:smallannoyed:

JusticeZero
2013-04-30, 12:52 PM
In 2e, a cursed shortsword. It was the annoying "appears in your hand when you want to use something else" variety, and in straight up combat it was annoyingly puny. However, it gave significant bonuses if you were using it for a backstab attack (a higher damage multiplier, bonus to hit, and bonus damage) so it was useful for a thief, especially since they didn't even have to have the thing on their person to do the backstab because it would just do the 'how did that get there?' thing and appear. So this was actually a useful magic item for some people.

However, if you were carrying it around and someone tried to backstab YOU.. it just couldn't resist getting involved..

...We were fighting a lot of thieves.

Kadzar
2013-04-30, 04:16 PM
I have a 30-sided die in my dice bag at all times. If a DM said this, I'd pull it out immediately.

And if he took it away just as immediately, I'd probably walk from that game.:smallannoyed:You would walk away from a game if the GM made a joke about something he didn't think existed, and, when you presented physical proof that such a thing does exist, wouldn't let you play with an overpowered joke item? :smallconfused:

Sith_Happens
2013-04-30, 06:31 PM
You would walk away from a game if the GM made a joke about something he didn't think existed, and, when you presented physical proof that such a thing does exist, wouldn't let you play with an overpowered joke item? :smallconfused:

Yup, because 8.5 average damage over a greatsword is totally overpowered.

Mystic Muse
2013-04-30, 08:13 PM
You would walk away from a game if the GM made a joke about something he didn't think existed, and, when you presented physical proof that such a thing does exist, wouldn't let you play with an overpowered joke item? :smallconfused:

It's more "Here, if you can find a dice like this, you can use it."

"Hey, I have a dice like that!"

"...It's gone now."

To me, indicates a bad DM. If he'd said something like "I was only joking." Or "I wasn't being serious." or something like that, okay, I could see that, but if he just says "You don't have it any more" or something similar, I would feel kinda worried about him spontaneously taking away an ability of a character of mine or something like that. Basically, I wouldn't be able to trust him.

Slipperychicken
2013-04-30, 10:10 PM
DM I played with breifly in highschool once dished out an interesting weapon as joke loot from a random encounter spawned by a running gag: a mundane Greatsword that rolled damage on a d30. "If you can find a d30," he said with a mischevious grin, "you can use it."

Two weeks later the party Paladin shows up with, and I kid you not, a 30-sided die he found in a gaming shop in Vancouver.

The DM, his bluff called, decreed that we no longer had the sword. :smallannoyed:

Your DM is a ****. The player went so far out of his way, and even spent money for the DM's promise to be allowed this weapon.

Personally, I'd have just used a random number generator (http://www.random.org/) to determine damage with it. Then, if it was PF, get someone to cast Masterwork Transformation (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/m/masterwork-transformation) and begin enchanting it with magic. And then reverse-engineer the weapon's design, keep it a secret, possibly patent it, and start producing/selling Super-Greatswords on the side for at least 72k a pop (the price of a +6 weapon seems fair). And then take Vital Strike (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/feats/combat-feats/vital-strike-combat---final) line (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/feats/combat-feats/improved-vital-strike-combat---final) of feats (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/feats/combat-feats/greater-vital-strike-combat---final).

It's one thing to have a weapon which deals d30 damage. It's another thing entirely to swing someone for 4d30.

Doorhandle
2013-04-30, 11:16 PM
Your DM is a ****. The player went so far out of his way, and even spent money for the DM's promise to be allowed this weapon.

Personally, I'd have just used a random number generator (http://www.random.org/) to determine damage with it. Then, if it was PF, get someone to cast Masterwork Transformation (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/m/masterwork-transformation) and begin enchanting it with magic. And then reverse-engineer the weapon's design, keep it a secret, possibly patent it, and start producing/selling Super-Greatswords on the side for at least 72k a pop (the price of a +6 weapon seems fair). And then take Vital Strike (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/feats/combat-feats/vital-strike-combat---final) line (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/feats/combat-feats/improved-vital-strike-combat---final) of feats (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/feats/combat-feats/greater-vital-strike-combat---final).

It's one thing to have a weapon which deals d30 damage. It's another thing entirely to swing someone for 4d30.

...On the other hand, that sort of attitude MIGHT be why he's so paranoid about it. (Still stealing the idea though.)
Haven't really encountered any mean magic items myself yet, seeing as I usually end up playing D&D encounters or pathfinder society more often than home-games. Hope that changes in future

Geordnet
2013-05-01, 12:05 PM
I agree that the GM should have let them keep it. It's his own fault for giving his word when he wasn't prepared to keep it. :smallannoyed:

It isn't like it would 'ruin the game', if that's even possible in a cooperative RPG. Even the munchkinry mentioned above would be easy to preempt by simply ruling it an Artifact.

(At least, the parts about copying and over-enchanting it would be. As for the rest, just adjust future encounters to the party's increased power level.)

Zahhak
2013-05-01, 02:17 PM
If the party didn't check for the magical properties, he could have said after the first use "Oh, did I not mention that the sword is does equal damage to the user? Sorry, you didn't bother to check to see if its cursed". He gets the same basic effect of taking it away, without having to actually take it away and piss people off.

And frankly, using it is kind of overpowered for low level parties. A regular greatsword does 2d6 damage, which has a range of 2 to 12 and a mean of 7, while a d30 would range from 1 to 30 with a mean of 15.5. In absolute terms, that's 8.5 damage difference on average, and more than double the average compared to a regular greatsword.

Geordnet
2013-05-01, 02:27 PM
Cursing it arbitrarily and dramatically would still feel like a bait-and-swtch. A more subtle curse, one that takes a while to manifest, on the other hand...

And so what if it's a bit strong for the party's level? I doubt the goblins are going to call in the ref. :smalltongue:

JusticeZero
2013-05-01, 03:51 PM
You could always give them something that does 1d30-10 base. It's still erratic spiky damage.

Vaern
2013-05-06, 11:16 PM
Your DM is a ****. The player went so far out of his way, and even spent money for the DM's promise to be allowed this weapon.
My group's scout once asked our DM about collecting ink from a kraken after we had slain the creature. The DM, not at all considering the fact that ink is worth 8 gold per ounce, allowed the scout to collect a very large quantity from the gargantuan beast which we then calculated as being worth about 32,000 gold.
These calculations happened, of course, after we had gone exploring a bit underwater and found a cave where the kraken had stashed its loot, meaning we got an absurd amount of free bonus loot in addition to the loot that we were meant to obtain.

What did our DM do after realizing that he had made a huge mistake? He let us sail away 32k richer :smallamused:
(Although he did add the minor condition that we could only sell a quarter of it in any given city, which we were fine with.)

Zahhak
2013-05-06, 11:20 PM
Unless there was something in the kraken's hoard that was specifically meant for the party, I'd have deduct 32k from the total of the hoard because you already had it, effectively.

Acanous
2013-05-06, 11:25 PM
The Fork of Orf.
A +1 Vorpal Backbiting Glammered intelligent Small-Sized Mithral Dagger.
It looked like a fork and had the ability to Teleport without Error3/day (Self only) and Magic Aura at-will.
The purpose of the Fork was to kill Spellcasters.
By being their cutlery, and attempting an Ego check when held by the same. (Coup de grace yourself.)
It would communicate telepathically with any non-caster who held it, promising them victory in battle in exchange for locating and identifying spellcasters for it to kill.

It had a sign, whenever it's purpose was fulfilled, a loud "FORK ORF" would be heard, before the fork vanished, using it's Teleport ability to place it in some other city, inside a silverware drawer.

Slipperychicken
2013-05-06, 11:34 PM
Unless there was something in the kraken's hoard that was specifically meant for the party, I'd have deduct 32k from the total of the hoard because you already had it, effectively.

The party probably only told him the value of the ink after finding the hoard. That, or the DM didn't have time to modify it, or felt like that would be somehow unsporting.

You could always count the ink as simply raw materials (assuming some process needs to be done to make it into "finished" ink, since it's usually an admixture of several different compounds), cutting the value by 2/3 to 10,666.67 gold. Also, where did he keep the ink?

Vaern
2013-05-07, 01:24 AM
The party probably only told him the value of the ink after finding the hoard. That, or the DM didn't have time to modify it, or felt like that would be somehow unsporting.

You could always count the ink as simply raw materials (assuming some process needs to be done to make it into "finished" ink, since it's usually an admixture of several different compounds), cutting the value by 2/3 to 10,666.67 gold. Also, where did he keep the ink?
We had a few empty barrels on our ship, so the scout drained the ink from the kraken directly into said barrels. We really have no idea how much ink we would be able to drain from something that can create an 80-foot ink cloud every minute, so the DM decided to wing it, roll some dice, and make up some numbers when the scout asked about it.
Calling it a raw material probably would've been the most effective way to deal with it, since he gave us the volume of ink we managed to collect rather than its value.

dehro
2013-05-07, 03:10 AM
We had a few empty barrels on our ship, so the scout drained the ink from the kraken directly into said barrels. We really have no idea how much ink we would be able to drain from something that can create an 80-foot ink cloud every minute, so the DM decided to wing it, roll some dice, and make up some numbers when the scout asked about it.
Calling it a raw material probably would've been the most effective way to deal with it, since he gave us the volume of ink we managed to collect rather than its value.

are you telling me you are unfamiliar with the legend of the cursed kraken ink??
in his place I'd have placed a curse on the ink and given it all kinds of negative side-effects, a separate one for each barrel you used... from hair falling out to poisoning any piece of paper you write with it or causing occasional lethal ink fumes or exploding barrels...with the net result of having the people who bought it off you chase you to exact revenge for all the ill that occurred to them for using your product.
so yes, you'd be a lot richer, but you'd also have to watch your back for those wizards, dictators, clerks and churches you sold the ink to.., for the rest of the campaign, and of course unless you tried the ink yourself, you'd never even know why they were chasing you. :smallbiggrin:

Jay R
2013-05-07, 09:18 AM
I think the kraken ink is perfectly valid treasure. One of the reasons to hunt dangerous monsters is for spell components or the material to make magic items.

I've gone dragon hunting (Chivalry & Sorcery, a long time ago) specifically to have some dragon hide for its magical properties.

ellindsey
2013-05-07, 12:41 PM
What the GM should have been wondering is how much demand is there for kraken ink - is it a widely used commodity, or a specialized ingredient only a few people want - and how long does it stay fresh and usable in barrels. Those two factors could mean that you can't sell more than a fraction of it before it goes bad.

Lord Torath
2013-05-07, 01:17 PM
Unless you know the "Freshen" Cantrip:

By means of this cantrip, the caster brings new life or freshness to the object desired. The magic applies to food and drink items such as milk, beer, meat and raw vegetables. It also works with cut vegetable, flowers, herbs, and so-on. Although it removes a slight taint of spoilage, restores drooping flowers, and so on, it is not as effective as a purify food and drink spell, and lasts for but an hour. The object must be of relatively small size: a small cask of liquid, a sheep, a bushel of vegetables, etc. If used on a creature that is harmed by magics such as purify food and drink, the cantrip inflicts 1d2 points of damage.
Ink would, to me, count as meat or drink. Liquid from a living creature. Possibly even milk, under that definition. Okay, maybe it's not as potent as I thought. One of the other players in a DarkSun campaign I'm playing in kept using it on the stinger of a giant scorpion we'd killed to keep the poison fresh.

Deepbluediver
2013-05-07, 01:24 PM
Ink would, to me, count as meat or drink. Liquid from a living creature. Possibly even milk, under that definition. Okay, maybe it's not as potent as I thought. One of the other players in a DarkSun campaign I'm playing in kept using it on the stinger of a giant scorpion we'd killed to keep the poison fresh.

Thats the kind of creative thinking that should be rewarded, IMO. If I where DMing, I would rule that it works just as described; however, because the stinger is (presumably) no longer attached to a living scorpion, it has a limited number of doses of venom stored within it.

Slipperychicken
2013-05-08, 02:36 PM
Unless you know the "Freshen" Cantrip:

Ink would, to me, count as meat or drink. Liquid from a living creature. Possibly even milk, under that definition.

Do you eat ink with your cereal? I ****ing hope not.

Lord Torath
2013-05-08, 03:51 PM
Uh....Kraken ink is an animal product, like milk and meat, both of which are affected by the spell. Hence the comparison.

Lothmar
2013-05-08, 04:10 PM
Lemon juice weapon polish of wounding.

The spiggot of dehydration - Gm dropped this keg like tap on my group, it can be nailed into pretty much anything and will drain the water from it. We've done some crazy stuff with it. ~chuckle~

Kingreaper
2013-05-08, 05:31 PM
The Chef's Blade.
A vorpal, flaming longsword, with a vast array of spices stored in its hilt. Everything killed with it burns to ash.

When you're resting after a long battle, it will serve up a feast for you. Mostly meat.
Delicious meat, the mere smell of which makes it hard to resist.


The raw materials for the feast being, of course, whatever it is you've killed recently.

Zahhak
2013-05-08, 05:36 PM
Kill lots of dragons.

Slipperychicken
2013-05-08, 07:24 PM
Kill lots of dragons.

Kill one dragon, and then draw out all subsequent battles until they classify as "long", without killing anyone (obviously you'd switch to a Merciful weapon). Insects will still be a problem, though. If you squish one ant, that's what your meal is.

OR

Keep some turkeys or other livestock (or even plants) with you. After every battle, before the weapon spawns a feast for you, kill a turkey (or a plant or animal of choice) with the weapon and enjoy a lovely non-cannibalistic feast. Or kill Oozes and save the resulting jello for dessert.

dehro
2013-05-09, 03:55 AM
or just roll with it and take the in-world consequences to your peculiar diet

imaloony
2013-05-09, 09:28 AM
This first one I was not in the campaign and just heard about it. It was an interesting concept, that each player got a horribly powerful magic item with one enormous drawback, and their goal was to rid themselves of the cursed items (They were grafted to the skin or otherwise very difficult to get rid of).
The only item I remember was the barbarian, who had a pair of gauntlets that raised his strength to an enormous amount, but also made it impossible for the wielder to lift anything under 3 pounds or so. (So there was the hilarious image of this burly barbarian at a tavern unable to lift his shotglass off the bar).

This one I WAS in the campaign for. My Rogue found a magic dagger that on a critical hit would blind an enemy for a few rounds, and had a few other powers. The twist? The first time you let go of the dagger, it would blind you for however long you were holding onto it. Unfortunately for him he (For whatever reason) revealed the nature of the weapon to me before it went off, so I managed to find a reason in-character why I would drop it to minimalize what it did.

Lothmar
2013-05-09, 11:46 AM
Gloves of the Microverse (or if you want to be 'really' mean and limit manual dexterity, Mittens of the microverse)

Woven from strands of the endless void, speckled in stardust and its shape kept constant by a solution of timelessness these gloves are made of the very cosmos themselves and bestow upon the wearer powers akin to a god.

The gloves of the microverse allow the wearer to perform various actions with hand gestures, when brought together and pulled apart the owner creates a scrying screen that can view a mass expanse of stars.

Gesturing with the fingers towards yourselves 'zooms in' on the central point until you stop making the gesture but can never get closer then to a point where you can make out any fine details - but can make out topographical features like forests, mountain, cities, water, etc.

A pushing motion Zooms out, there is no limit to how much you can do this assumedly but most get bored after awhile.

Poking the scry screen centers it upon that point.

A flick of the hand moves the contents of the scry screen in that direction allowing you to surf around the cosmos with a simple gesture.

The gloves allows the wielder to place anything they can hold in a closed hand or between both closed hands into/through the scry pool, however it maintains the proportional size it has to what is being viewed so care is recommended as a gold piece is larger then most metropolises at full zoom.

Placing the gloves to ones forehead allows them to concentrate and speed up or slow down the passage of time (though no slower then players perceived speed), loss of concentration returns the microverse to a preset time that the gm determines - though it should probably be at least a day a minute or something to reflect the almost microbial lifespans of the worlds in view.

The gloves carry with them the potential for a 'god complex' and once its discovered what they can do a will save is required to not become obsessed by their use after using them, the save starts at 15 and grows steadily as used and the longer it is worn. Once 'hooked' it requires a concentration check to break away from the activities of godhood and tend to your own personal needs and carries a gaes like effect the longer you are away and not attending to your godly duties.

Sith_Happens
2013-05-09, 12:09 PM
Gloves of the Microverse

Now that's what a major artifact looks like.

Slipperychicken
2013-05-09, 12:14 PM
The only item I remember was the barbarian, who had a pair of gauntlets that raised his strength to an enormous amount, but also made it impossible for the wielder to lift anything under 3 pounds or so. (So there was the hilarious image of this burly barbarian at a tavern unable to lift his shotglass off the bar).


You could also have gone with the gauntlets making the Barbarian super-strong, but he always uses his full, enhanced strength, even when it doesn't make sense or is actively harmful.

When he grabs a shotglass, he crushes it with his fingers and probably gets shards of broken glass in his hand. When he passes someone a fork, he winds up stabbing them with it. When he opens a door, he makes a strength check to bash it down instead. If he shakes someone's hand, he automatically squeezes it for nonlethal damage. When he raises a mug to drink, he smacks himself in the teeth and nose with it, dealing his strength modifier in damage. If he tries to kiss someone, he ends up headbutting them or biting a chunk of mouth off instead. Putting down an object results in him smashing it against the floor.

I'd also say it would make him always power attack for at least his BAB/2 (minimum 1), even with light and natural weapons.