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View Full Version : The Caption Contest II: Caption's Log, Stardate... Never Mind



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PurityIcekiller
2013-05-03, 01:20 AM
Welcome back! We had quite some fun with pictures in the last thread (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=194350), so why not continue the tradition in this one?

Here are ze rules:
- Someone posts a silly picture.
- Posters then suggest 'hilarious' captions to suit the picture.
- Once the original poster thinks there have been enough good responses, they pick a winner. They may also post as many runner-ups as they like.
- The winner then posts the next silly picture, or opens the floor to someone else to post one.
- If the winner hasn't come back to the thread in 48 hours, or the original poster hasn't come back in a week, treat the thread as an open floor for whoever posts a picture first. If the picture poster doesn't declare a winner, then anyone who has a picture is welcome to declare their own winner and start things again.

To begin with, let's have a rodent.

http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/264/a/b/arkanys_25___fancy_rat_by_dianephotos-d2z6lga.jpg

Lentrax
2013-05-03, 03:05 AM
"You said there was treasure in here! Where's the Gouda?"

Drakeburn
2013-05-03, 12:01 PM
"The pack rats seem to be fancier this year."

SnowballMan
2013-05-03, 12:38 PM
"I should have never picked a female familiar. She takes forever deciding what to wear on adventures."

"And here we have the world's smallest pawn broker."

"My wife said she didn't want to wear dead animals for fur. This seemed like the logical conclusion."

Komodo
2013-05-03, 12:52 PM
'Twas the night before Christmas, and somewhere in the house,
Mother's jewelry was being stolen by a mouse...

navar100
2013-05-03, 02:12 PM
It's my "mouse trap" against thieves.

Diego Havoc
2013-05-03, 03:07 PM
I use rats to keep my jewellery squeaky clean.

North_Ranger
2013-05-03, 04:22 PM
Wizard's familiar: come for the grain, stay for the bling.

Loreni333
2013-05-03, 05:48 PM
Lord of the Rodents:
One Rat to Rule them all

The Succubus
2013-05-03, 06:13 PM
"See, my fellow rodents? Star in a Brian Jacques novel and all this could be yours too!"

inuyasha
2013-05-03, 07:28 PM
"this shiny cheese tastes like crap...wheres da sharp cheddar"

Scarlet Knight
2013-05-03, 09:20 PM
"I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!..."

Sgt. Cookie
2013-05-04, 06:47 AM
"Having problems with mouse thieves? Then it's time you got a cat burglar!"

Elemental
2013-05-04, 08:47 AM
And here we can see the finest piece of my collection, a mouse intricately carved from a single piece of agate. So intricately carved in fact, I think I got it confused with my pet mouse again...
Professor Nibbles! Out of the jewellery cabinet!

Hiro Protagonest
2013-05-04, 05:47 PM
People weren't sure about the idea of turning some of the Redwall books into live-action movies.

Cuthalion
2013-05-05, 07:50 PM
This was how the Bubonic Plague was spread. The royalty had hounds, not cats.

Dallas-Dakota
2013-05-06, 12:36 AM
Peter Pettigrew was never a greedy or evil person, he just wanted to be fabulous.

The Succubus
2013-05-06, 04:41 AM
Peter Pettigrew was never a greedy or evil person, he just wanted to be fabulous.

I love this caption! :smallbiggrin:

PurityIcekiller
2013-05-07, 12:12 AM
Okay! I think that's enough for judging. I'm going to alphabetize the runner-ups' award names instead of ranking them, because they're all so good.

The "Fame Isn't Everything, But Comes With Perks" Award:
"See, my fellow rodents? Star in a Brian Jacques novel and all this could be yours too!"

The "Maybe a Little Too Lifelike" Award:
And here we can see the finest piece of my collection, a mouse intricately carved from a single piece of agate. So intricately carved in fact, I think I got it confused with my pet mouse again...
Professor Nibbles! Out of the jewellery cabinet!

The "Rhyme Crime" Award:
'Twas the night before Christmas, and somewhere in the house,
Mother's jewelry was being stolen by a mouse...

The "Wonderful Wizards" Award:
Wizard's familiar: come for the grain, stay for the bling.

And finally, our winner and the "You Could Have Hurt Someone With That Pun" Award...
I use rats to keep my jewellery squeaky clean.

Take it away, Diego!

Diego Havoc
2013-05-07, 04:43 AM
Take it away, Diego!
Thanks, I will! *grabs previous picture and walks off with it*

http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i93/DiegoHavoc/Randoms/hockstuffs-mio-ad.jpg

North_Ranger
2013-05-07, 05:02 AM
The childhood years of Godzilla were rough on the road safety officials.

Dallas-Dakota
2013-05-07, 05:19 AM
It was decided that not only cars, but also roads should follow Apple Maps.

Komodo
2013-05-07, 06:01 AM
Na naaaa, na nana nana na na na na na nana naaaa...

HypoSoc
2013-05-07, 06:31 AM
At the next intersection, take an up.

Elemental
2013-05-07, 08:19 AM
And this still isn't the most confusing intersection I've seen.

Recent attempts to improve traffic flow were... Less than successful.

Cuthalion
2013-05-07, 08:45 AM
Los Angeles's try to create their own ride as awesome as Space Mountain was soon rejected by the people.

inuyasha
2013-05-07, 08:55 AM
Damnit dave what did I tell you about opening up transdimensional gates!

Lentrax
2013-05-07, 10:34 AM
Who let the Hulk tie a Gordian knot out of the freeway?

navar100
2013-05-07, 11:56 AM
"This is what happens when The Doctor uses timey-wimey stuff to get through rush hour."

Scarlet Knight
2013-05-07, 07:05 PM
Well now we know what inspired Hot Wheels...

Bhu
2013-05-08, 04:15 PM
"Bob secretly took perverse glee in moments like these, as he used them to justify his phobias of freeways and massive holes in the space/time continuum to his therapists."

Curaced
2013-05-08, 04:46 PM
The rubber-band ball of Chuck Norris!



Recalculating...

Balmas
2013-05-08, 06:30 PM
Dave paused, staring at the upcoming abomination of a snarl; the greatly increased speed limit was starting to make sense.

onionbreath
2013-05-08, 10:09 PM
C'mon, another roundabout intersection? Why does everyone keeping saying these are so easy to navigate?

Loreni333
2013-05-09, 12:32 AM
Jesus Take The Wheel!

Lentrax
2013-05-09, 03:13 AM
Yeah, but which exit do I take?

Bhu
2013-05-09, 04:26 PM
"Use the Force Riddick..."

Duck999
2013-05-09, 06:25 PM
Where did you say you were? The intersection? Which one? The big one? Which big one? THE BIGGEST ONE.

Cuthalion
2013-05-09, 07:10 PM
Where did you say you were? The intersection? Which one? The big one? Which big one? THE BIGGEST ONE.

I'm at 4th, 5th, Hampshire, Oak, and 37th.

Sgt. Cookie
2013-05-10, 09:36 AM
Mc Escher's arcitechture career was... short lived at best.

SnowballMan
2013-05-10, 01:24 PM
"This is why we do not LARP Katamari Damacy."

"That's knot right."

"When I hacked the Transportation Department's blueprints, I imagined they would have figured it out before they began construction."

Diego Havoc
2013-05-11, 05:39 AM
Lot's of really good captions this time round! It was a tough choice...

3rd place with the "you have no idea how long it took me to get this" award:

Na naaaa, na nana nana na na na na na nana naaaa...

2nd place with the "brace yourself" award:

Dave paused, staring at the upcoming abomination of a snarl; the greatly increased speed limit was starting to make sense.

1st place with the "simple, yet amusing" award:

At the next intersection, take an up.

Over to you, HypoSoc!

HypoSoc
2013-05-11, 12:52 PM
Thank you, thank you. I promise not to abuse my new position in any way that will permanently break the internet.

Have a pic:
http://amazedogs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/dog_cat_duck.jpg

North_Ranger
2013-05-11, 02:04 PM
And so was the subjugation of mankind decided. The Gato family would destroy the man-beasts' minds with their Internet campaign; the O'Hounds would plant their leavings to make their soldiers fall; and the MacDucks would clog their sinks and eat their bread.

We never saw it coming.

inuyasha
2013-05-11, 03:56 PM
its the animal version of rock paper scissors. spawn of hell cat eats master of elements duck, guardian dog brutally murders spawn of hell cat, master of elements duck burns, beats, drowns, and blows away guardian dog

The Succubus
2013-05-11, 06:57 PM
Duck: "He doesn't like you."

Cat: "Sorry."

Duck: "I don't like you either. You just watch yourself. We're wanted men. I have the death sentence on twelve duck ponds."

Scarlet Knight
2013-05-12, 10:28 AM
"One has jaws of steel. The other, razor sharp claws. The third, irresistible cuteness.

Together: they fight crime!"

Hiro Protagonest
2013-05-12, 06:33 PM
So a cat, a duckling, and a dog were in the yard...

Duck999
2013-05-12, 07:37 PM
C-can't resist! Too much cuteness!

Komodo
2013-05-12, 08:36 PM
"He can't keep watching you forever, you know. He'll have to go to sleep eventually. I only sleep five minutes at a time. You might try to hide, but I already know all the hiding spaces in a five block radius. He's not going to be able to stop me, because I'm faster than him, and he's too stupid too..."

"I'm standing right here, you know."

"Yeah? What's your point?"

"You do know that if the humans find you stuffed in a bag of kitty litter, they'll run to get the camera before they let you out, right?"

"...noted."

Balmas
2013-05-12, 11:19 PM
"I can't believe you'd do this to me! I don't care what you say, I'm not that duck's father!"

D_Lord
2013-05-13, 12:25 AM
Ok I stole the duck now you have deal with it.

Lentrax
2013-05-13, 01:39 PM
As entertaining as it sounded on paper, the game "Dog, Cat, Duck" was just too cute to be taken seriously by the gaming community.

onionbreath
2013-05-13, 02:02 PM
Invisible picture is invisible

Komodo
2013-05-13, 02:05 PM
Yeah, it's not showing up on my phone, either. Works okay on my home computer, though.

navar100
2013-05-13, 11:18 PM
Puss-In-Boots, Rubber Duckie, and Cujo

Elemental
2013-05-14, 02:25 AM
Despite being in all ways the perfect team of agents, their lack of opposable thumbs made it difficult to radio for backup.

TheFallenOne
2013-05-14, 11:57 AM
"Alright Frank, Shapechange is fun, but when do we change back?"
"Change back?"

Lentrax
2013-05-18, 02:30 AM
Someone want to ask HypoSoc about judging the pic?

HypoSoc
2013-05-18, 11:55 AM
I was planning on waiting a week, but I can judge now.

In third place, with the Epic LARPer award, is Lentrax:

As entertaining as it sounded on paper, the game "Dog, Cat, Duck" was just too cute to be taken seriously by the gaming community.

In second place, with the Ducks in Black award, is Elemental:

Despite being in all ways the perfect team of agents, their lack of opposable thumbs made it difficult to radio for backup.

And in first place, with the Criminals Fear the Night award, is Scarlet Knight:

"One has jaws of steel. The other, razor sharp claws. The third, irresistible cuteness.

Together: they fight crime!"

North_Ranger
2013-05-20, 03:24 PM
Yoink!

http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/3079/buffetofmanlinessbycoel.jpg

navar100
2013-05-20, 05:42 PM
Seadogs playing poker.

Duck999
2013-05-20, 08:36 PM
The new duck duck goose-Cheating cheating liar.

Diego Havoc
2013-05-21, 06:51 AM
This was a picture of seven little girls dressed as princesses while having a tea party, until we hit it with our patented Mann Co. Manificator RayTM that is guaranteed to make anything the manliest it can be!

Lentrax
2013-05-21, 08:56 AM
I will see that Ace in your foot, Scrooge, and raise you this pair of Kings I have in my sleeve.

SnowballMan
2013-05-21, 10:16 AM
"I fold."
"I spindle."
"I mutilate."

navar100
2013-05-21, 05:44 PM
They thought getting the clock would keep cheating Captain Hook away. They underestimated Hook's ability to disguise himself.

Scarlet Knight
2013-05-21, 08:07 PM
Sorry folks, I'm back now.


"Noooo ooone can dress like Gaston
To impress like Gaston,
When cheating at cards, he's the best that Gaston!"

"I'm especially good at doooouble deeeealing..."

"Nobody bluffs like Gaston!"

onionbreath
2013-05-22, 07:17 PM
Scrooge was disqualified for cheating, but not for the ace in the webbed foot. That was perfectly legal, and to be frank, quite impressive. However, wearing two monocles was strictly prohibited.

The Succubus
2013-05-23, 09:00 AM
"Dude, that guy sitting across the way from us looks really weird. It's wigging me out."

"It's just a duck in a top hat."

"Not him, the one with the watermelons implanted in his forearms."

North_Ranger
2013-05-25, 12:50 PM
Okay, here are the top captions.

Third place, and the gift certificate for "Resident Evil Upper Body Gym":

"Dude, that guy sitting across the way from us looks really weird. It's wigging me out."

"It's just a duck in a top hat."

"Not him, the one with the watermelons implanted in his forearms."

Second place, and a complimentary ukulele:

Sorry folks, I'm back now.


"Noooo ooone can dress like Gaston
To impress like Gaston,
When cheating at cards, he's the best that Gaston!"

"I'm especially good at doooouble deeeealing..."

"Nobody bluffs like Gaston!"

And the winner, currently being treated for testosterone poisoning:

This was a picture of seven little girls dressed as princesses while having a tea party, until we hit it with our patented Mann Co. Manificator RayTM that is guaranteed to make anything the manliest it can be!

Take it away, Diego Havoc!

Diego Havoc
2013-05-26, 11:28 AM
Many thanks!

http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i93/DiegoHavoc/Randoms/3dfd780a-1f3f-4f2e-ad93-96f575b7860a.jpg (http://s70.photobucket.com/user/DiegoHavoc/media/Randoms/3dfd780a-1f3f-4f2e-ad93-96f575b7860a.jpg.html)

North_Ranger
2013-05-26, 11:35 AM
The new season of Doctor Who promises not only the return of fan favourite villains, but also a host of new enemies. One of these are the children of the Weeping Angels: the Punching Cherubs.

Lentrax
2013-05-26, 11:43 AM
My bow! Where is it!?

inuyasha
2013-05-26, 08:06 PM
Seen here is cupids twin brother, the bringer of anger, and cool martial arts moves

Bhu
2013-05-26, 08:16 PM
"Learning that he was a balding male medusa was only slightly less disconcerting to Stanley than learning he owed money to the Ogre Baby Mafia..."

Scarlet Knight
2013-05-27, 10:06 AM
"NOW I've lost my cherub-like demeanor!"

Komodo
2013-05-27, 11:01 AM
"...and as you can see, this statue of baby Saxton Hale is fully animatronic, and is programmed to beat a hippie to death bare-handed every morning at nine o'clock sharp for its owner's viewing pleasure..."

Lentrax
2013-05-27, 02:29 PM
Lemme show the real meaning of 'Brotherly love.'

SnowballMan
2013-05-28, 04:00 AM
"Clearly this is photoshoped, Phil doesn't have nearly that much hair."

"Would this be considered child abuse?"

"It could have been worse. He could have been assaulted by one of the fountain cherubs."

Diego Havoc
2013-05-30, 04:38 AM
No clever awards from me today.

3rd place:

"...and as you can see, this statue of baby Saxton Hale is fully animatronic, and is programmed to beat a hippie to death bare-handed every morning at nine o'clock sharp for its owner's viewing pleasure..."

2nd place:

"It could have been worse. He could have been assaulted by one of the fountain cherubs."

1st place:

"Learning that he was a balding male medusa was only slightly less disconcerting to Stanley than learning he owed money to the Ogre Baby Mafia..."

Bhu's turn!

Bhu
2013-05-30, 04:11 PM
lemme peruse my opics real quick

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc70/bhutastan/PRCS/07-france-festival-of-bears-670_zpsecab6872.jpg

Malachi Lemont
2013-05-30, 05:13 PM
What's that about the second amendment? Right to bear arms? Do you know if it said anything about bear heads or torsos?

HypoSoc
2013-05-30, 05:53 PM
Stanley's human-head necklace was sure to be a hit at the party.

North_Ranger
2013-05-30, 06:19 PM
Al Gore's search to find the manbearpig was finally bearing fruit. The only thing that was still needed was a willing pig...

Scarlet Knight
2013-05-30, 07:35 PM
"Hey! I don't care what the fashionistas think! It's winter...it's Alaska....& I'm waaarm!"

Komodo
2013-05-30, 07:38 PM
When Scott had heard that the fraternity had a "wild" induction ceremony, he had imagined booze.

SnowballMan
2013-05-30, 09:05 PM
When Scott had heard that the fraternity had a "wild" induction ceremony, he had imagined booze.
Beer. Bear. It was an easy typo to make.

"The NFL is objecting to the change in the Chicago Bears official uniform."

"This has got to be at least a +5 to my stealth roll."

"I get all the pickinick baskets."

"It's a WOW larp. He's clearly some hunter's animal companion."

"When you get right down to it, druids are sick, sick bastards."

"Are you done taking pictures? This photo shoot is unbearable."

"This is just one of the things Lucas discarded before he came up with Ewoks."

"I'm not sure if we should call PETA or Amnesty International."

"Okay, now give me a big smile. No not you, I was talking to the bear head."

"A wild Furry appears..."

Someone needs to stop me, I can't stop captioning!!!

Diego Havoc
2013-06-01, 05:05 AM
I know what you're thinking. "Did he make six bear puns or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a costume of a black bear, the most powerful bear in the world, and would tear your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, Cub!?

The Succubus
2013-06-01, 07:37 AM
When he went to the costume department to complain about his outfit being unbearable, he was told to stop being so grizzly.

onionbreath
2013-06-02, 03:12 PM
1) This was Brian Urlacher's idea for the new team uniform. Upper management said no, so he retired.

2) Rawwwwrrrwar the bear was unhappy with the results of his tracheotomy. He expressed his displeasure the only way he knew how.

SnowballMan
2013-06-02, 06:48 PM
I have not yet begun to caption!

"He looks like one very rugged individual."

"Ma look, that man is bear naked."

"Grizzly Adams took the loss of Ben pretty hard."

"Don't insult the costume, he'll get furrious."

"When his Craigslist personal ad listed that he likes to give bear hugs, none of the respondents realized what he meant."

"Fred took the rule of not wearing white after labor day a bit too far."

I can't help but think of this (http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3015/2572869973_4350055014_o.jpg) when looking at that picture.

Bhu
2013-06-03, 03:07 PM
In third place: HypoSoc (Stanley's human-head necklace was sure to be a hit at the party.)

In second place: Komodo ()

In first place:

Bhu
2013-06-03, 03:11 PM
Okay for some reason it wont let me edit the message because it says the message is too short. Komodo you took 2nd and Snowballman you took first
:smallfurious:

SnowballMan
2013-06-03, 07:19 PM
Well shoot, my stockpile of captionable (and appropriate) images seems to be running low. Need to find a few new sources.

Let's stick with the animal theme and go with :
http://i39.tinypic.com/9joumo.jpg

Komodo
2013-06-03, 08:02 PM
"I hereby dub thee Sir George the Short-tailed. You shall guard and protect this family until such time as we grow hungry."

Bhu
2013-06-03, 09:04 PM
"She followed me home ma...can I keep her?"

"You are not my son..."

onionbreath
2013-06-03, 11:01 PM
I sense your mind is troubled with fear, little one. Do not worry, it all ends now.

Lentrax
2013-06-04, 02:43 AM
I told you this before. No playing with your food. Do I have to get your mother?

North_Ranger
2013-06-04, 04:04 AM
"Bored now, reading your mind."

The Succubus
2013-06-04, 05:39 AM
"Doctor, the patient appears to be running a fever. Any recommendations on a treatment?"

"This is an emergency, Nurse! This patient is suffering from a Surplus of Internal Organs! They must be removed immediately!"

"All of them, Doctor?"

"Well...all of them except the small green one that doesn't taste very nice."

Lentrax
2013-06-04, 08:50 AM
This concludes our test of the Emergency Hunger System. Had this been an actual food emergency, you would be a steak right now.


Tag! You're it!

The Succubus
2013-06-04, 08:51 AM
"You should be careful with those things, little one. They bite."

Bhu
2013-06-04, 01:36 PM
"Mawm, dis is mah new boyfriend Pelvis. Feel him, he's all smooth."

"Jeeebus Christ..."

Scarlet Knight
2013-06-04, 09:55 PM
"You were right to call me, madam. Your cub has been possessed by an herbivore! We must begin the exorcism immediately!" :smalleek:

Cuthalion
2013-06-06, 08:15 AM
Hey Jim! Come over here and look what I can do with this thing's head!
---
Dusha widddwe antelooopppe....

Sgt. Cookie
2013-06-09, 05:35 AM
Be HEALED little one! Be HEALED! By the MIGHT of ah Lawd and Saviour, may your afflictions be banushed!

Bhu
2013-06-09, 01:48 PM
"She reminds me of Pinkie Pie!"

"Those human cartoons are rottin' yer brain Bob..."

SnowballMan
2013-06-10, 07:06 PM
And now to caption myself (in public, no less):
"What ever gave you the idea you were adopted?"

Third Place and let the power of Simba compel you:

"You were right to call me, madam. Your cub has been possessed by an herbivore! We must begin the exorcism immediately!" :smalleek:

Second Place and the reason they don't let me into hospitals anymore:

"Doctor, the patient appears to be running a fever. Any recommendations on a treatment?"

"This is an emergency, Nurse! This patient is suffering from a Surplus of Internal Organs! They must be removed immediately!"

"All of them, Doctor?"

"Well...all of them except the small green one that doesn't taste very nice."

First Place and this is what happens in places without internet:

"Bored now, reading your mind."

North_Ranger
2013-06-11, 01:26 AM
Thank you. I honestly didn't think I'd win with a TeamFourStar reference :smallbiggrin:

Here you go, spoilered for size:

http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2010/041/d/e/Down_for_the_Count_by_poopbear.jpg

PurityIcekiller
2013-06-11, 02:17 AM
"One, two, three! Three punches to the sparkler's face! Hahahahahaha!"

Lentrax
2013-06-11, 02:33 AM
Today's Sesame Street was brought to you by the numbers 1 & 2, and the letters K and O. See you next time!

The Succubus
2013-06-11, 03:17 AM
After a punch like that, Edward was out for the Count.

Cuthalion
2013-06-11, 08:53 AM
"Count the ways I can make you look like Twilight Sparkle! One! Two! Three!"

---

"Begone, fool! I am the one and only true vampire!"

Scarlet Knight
2013-06-11, 06:51 PM
"One two three, punch to the jaw,
One two three, he hits the floor
One two three, dance round the ring
One two three, the crowd starts to sing
One two three, doing ...the batty bat!"

SnowballMan
2013-06-12, 08:13 PM
After a punch like that, Edward was out for the Count.
http://i42.tinypic.com/nyef7l.gif

"Despite the fact that we all know it is a muppet, we still think this is entirely plausible."

"FALCOUNT PUNCH!"

"Now that that is taken care of, vere is the pedo-wolf?"

Diego Havoc
2013-06-13, 05:50 PM
POW! Right in the glitter!

North_Ranger
2013-06-17, 12:24 PM
Although Succubus was punariffic, the winner is SnowballMan with his proposal for a Count v. Jacob fight.

Take it away!

Dallas-Dakota
2013-06-17, 03:20 PM
Succubus gets grongratulatory cookies from me. You have stepped into the realm of puns that only the likes of Death, Your Friend the Reaper have seen.

Grongratulations on becoming of the most mind-cringingly good punsters in the playground.

The Succubus
2013-06-17, 03:38 PM
Succubus gets grongratulatory cookies from me. You have stepped into the realm of puns that only the likes of Death, Your Friend the Reaper have seen.

I am sigging this forever.

SnowballMan
2013-06-18, 08:42 PM
Although Succubus was punariffic, the winner is SnowballMan with his proposal for a Count v. Jacob fight.
"Vun. Vun clump of fur. ah ah ah Two. Two clumps of fur. ah ah ah. Three. Three vunderfully fuzzy clumps of fur. ah ah ah."

Speaking of things that count :
http://i44.tinypic.com/6pyw7q.jpg


Grongratulations on becoming of the most mind-cringingly good punsters in the playground.
I WILL win that title from The Succubus. One day, it will be mine!

North_Ranger
2013-06-19, 01:41 AM
Back in the day, this was the minimal set-up for playing Pong.

Diego Havoc
2013-06-19, 03:41 AM
Sadly for George, the reporters were less interested in his World Peace Machine than in his stylish black mohawk.

The Succubus
2013-06-19, 04:00 AM
"You know, moving the cursor around with these giant wheels feels really clunky. What we need is a small handheld device that somehow tracks its position using a little rubber ball or even a magic light-"

"But we've *ALWAYS* done it with the wheels!"

"*sigh* I guess you're right. It'll never catch on."

Lentrax
2013-06-19, 06:23 AM
Sadly for George, the reporters were less interested in his World Peace Machine than in his stylish black mohawk.

Cyberpunk. It's older than you think.

Komodo
2013-06-19, 08:53 AM
ALLOW ME TO PRESENT OUR INVENTION. WE CALL IT "HUMAN." IT IS CAPABLE OF MOVEMENT, CREATIVITY, AND REPRODUCTION. IT IS POSSIBLY THE MOST IMPORTANT INVENTION IN MODERN MACHINE HISTORY, IF NOT THE GREATEST INVENTION EVER CONCIEVED.

Allow Me To Present Our Invention. I Call It "human." It Is Capable Of Movement, Creativity, And Reproduction. It Is Possibly The Most Important Invention In Modern Machine History, If Not The Greatest Invention Ever Conceived.

Scarlet Knight
2013-06-19, 11:35 AM
"What good is it? Do you realize that with this machine, you can watch Betty Page porn without anyone seeing you purchase the photos?!"

Bhu
2013-06-19, 11:45 AM
"This latest machine has 1 Kilobyte of raw processing power. 1 Kilobyte! What more could we ever need!?!"

Dallas-Dakota
2013-06-19, 05:05 PM
"Now all it needs to be the best machine ever made is my mohawk."

Sgt. Cookie
2013-06-20, 12:48 PM
Welcome to the 1960's, members of congress, this is something we have dubbed "Prism".

Komodo
2013-06-20, 01:00 PM
"I would like to draw your attention to this keyboard-stand in the middle. It's not really important, but notice how it looks like a doggie. See? The keyboard is its nose, and the hanging bit of paper looks like a tongue? I thought that was pretty clever, set it up that way myself..."

"And here's the wheels we occasionally turn to make it look like we're working, and here are the dials that don't really measure anything, and this is the keyboard that we pretend to type at while watching the game on the TV up there. Any questions?"

CrimsonKnight
2013-06-22, 03:01 PM
"Can someone explain to me why we gave you a fortune by 1960s standards anyways to create the world's most powerful computer, and you felt the need to just stick on a couple of steel STEERING WHEELS larger than the one in my car?!"

Incidentally, I do in fact know why: this "computer" (minus the printer and TV) is actually a early submarine nuclear reactor control panel, and the wheels control the amount of steam flow to the main engines (in effect, they're the sub's gas pedals).

Cuthalion
2013-06-23, 04:26 PM
"And this is the newest model of typewriter, just imagine what these things'll be like in 2010!"

SnowballMan
2013-06-23, 06:45 PM
Welcome to the 1960's, members of congress, this is something we have dubbed "Prism".
"But it's only useful if there is a large network of computers reaching into every home and business. How do we convince people to do that?"

"Do you realize that with this machine, you can watch Betty Page porn without anyone seeing you purchase the photos?!"
"That will work."

-----
Third Place and winner of the "Finally, we've broke the 640 bit barrier!" award

"This latest machine has 1 Kilobyte of raw processing power. 1 Kilobyte! What more could we ever need!?!"

Second Place and winner of "Curse you for making me look it up on Snopes." award.

Incidentally, I do in fact know why: this "computer" (minus the printer and TV) is actually a early submarine nuclear reactor control panel, and the wheels control the amount of steam flow to the main engines (in effect, they're the sub's gas pedals).

First Place and also the "Did not see it at first." award.

Sadly for George, the reporters were less interested in his World Peace Machine than in his stylish black mohawk.

CrimsonKnight
2013-06-23, 09:36 PM
I actually operated one of those in the Navy (the right panel, specifically, which controlled the electrical distribution system), and funny thing is, the control panels for the majority of submarines currently in the US Navy are... pretty similar to that early 1960s one (swapped in an LCD screen for the temperature/pressure gauges, but that was pretty much it):smallamused:

Diego Havoc
2013-06-24, 03:32 AM
Is anyone else hungry?

http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i93/DiegoHavoc/Randoms/kanyewesticle-1.jpg

PurityIcekiller
2013-06-24, 04:21 AM
"Kevin always liked his food to have a rich flavour."

The Succubus
2013-06-24, 07:52 AM
After bringing home the bacon, he decided to have a bacon sandwich.

Lentrax
2013-06-24, 08:07 AM
I don't think this is what George meant when he said, "Put your money where your mouth is."

Cuthalion
2013-06-24, 08:38 AM
After bringing home the bacon, she decided to have a bacon sandwich.

And then she realized she didn't have bread, so she made some dough, and used that.

Sgt. Cookie
2013-06-24, 08:45 AM
Remember kids, it's always important to have greens in your diet.

SnowballMan
2013-06-24, 02:53 PM
Obligatory: "Om nom nom nom."

"This was taken in 2008? Those bills were actually worth something!"

"Still has more nutritional content then most items at McDonalds."

Scarlet Knight
2013-06-24, 08:14 PM
"That boy is so spoiled...."

"How spoiled is he?"

"His sandwich meats come from cash cows!"

Komodo
2013-06-24, 09:13 PM
He made a dare that he could make a sandwich worth a hundred dollars. He didn't say it had to be tasty...

CrimsonKnight
2013-06-25, 01:16 AM
"No no no, you eat the rich, not their money."

North_Ranger
2013-06-26, 05:09 AM
First there was the manwich. Then there came The Manwich.

Diego Havoc
2013-06-29, 09:07 AM
Hmm, I was expecting at least one joke about having "expensive tastes". Ah well.

3rd place

He made a dare that he could make a sandwich worth a hundred dollars. He didn't say it had to be tasty...

2nd place

I don't think this is what George meant when he said, "Put your money where your mouth is."

1st place

"Kevin always liked his food to have a rich flavour."

Over to you, Icekiller!

PurityIcekiller
2013-06-29, 01:36 PM
Thank you, thank you. Here, have another kind of "bucks".

http://www.worldoffemale.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/deer_in_car.jpg

Bhu
2013-06-29, 01:59 PM
"Dude, this hunting blind is perfect. The humans will never suspect us."

Scarlet Knight
2013-06-30, 07:35 AM
I may show my age with this:

"Hurray up, Pete! We'll be late for the Stag Party!"

Lentrax
2013-06-30, 12:10 PM
"No wonder the humans always hit us, look at all these features! Hey Phil, come get a load of this! This one has massaging seats!"

Drakeburn
2013-06-30, 08:17 PM
"........ As the mighty hunter followed the tracks to the parking lot, he soon realized his mistake of leaving his keys in the car."

The Succubus
2013-07-01, 07:48 AM
People were complaining that the price of a new car was a little deer.

Komodo
2013-07-01, 08:25 AM
"Looking to get more mileage for your buck?"

"Putting our hoof down on overpriced used cars!"

"There are two type of deer in this world: those who stand still staring at incoming headlights and those who say, 'I ain't putting up wih that no more! Get outta the car, I'm driving!'"

"I told you to go for the convertable, but no you said you preferred safety. Well, we sure are safe, aren't we, considering we're not going anywhere!!!"

Deathkeeper
2013-07-01, 08:30 AM
"There's no time to explain. Get in the car."

Lentrax
2013-07-01, 08:53 AM
The all new Kia Sorento. Just doe it.

Scarlet Knight
2013-07-01, 09:37 AM
"Woo Hoo! Elk's Convention , here we come!"

Balmas
2013-07-01, 11:32 AM
"Hey look, Marge! Headlights!"

CrimsonKnight
2013-07-01, 01:35 PM
"Jesus Christ it's two deer, get out of my car!"

North_Ranger
2013-07-01, 03:21 PM
It's either a clever trap or viral marketing for Chuck Testa. But how can you tell?

SnowballMan
2013-07-01, 10:33 PM
"Dangnab it Cletus. Shoot them first, then bring them home."

"Can never take your pet anywhere in the car without them hanging their head out the window."

"Hey babe! How would you like to score some points?"

John had gone the entire two weeks of hunting season without once seeing a deer. It was only when he returned to his car that he knew, knew, Mother Nature was screwing with him personally.

"We should have taken the other truck."
"I told you, that belonged to some ram named Dodge."

Headline : Bucks Blaze By in Buick, Bystanders Bewildered!


I may show my age with this:

"Hurray up, Pete! We'll be late for the Stag Party!"
About as much as I will by saying I remember when they were called that.

Scarlet Knight
2013-07-03, 09:47 AM
"Off to the Club!"

"I sure hope Clarise is there tonight..."

"Dude, you couldn't get that white tail if you sat in a bucket of Benjamin Moore..."

"Yeah, you're right, man. If she even talked to me I'd have a hart attack...."

SnowballMan
2013-07-05, 10:38 PM
Continuing Caption Craziness:

"Crime?"
"Stampeding."
"That's not much of a crime."
"Through the Vatican?"
"Kinky."

The person at the drive through thought he was being clever when he said "Do you have the doe to pay for this?" Little did he know that was a cultural insult of the highest order.

"Turn that music down, are you two herd of hearing?"

What impresses me is not just that they can drive the car, but that it has a manual transmission.

"And here the twins have ramped things up in what may be the most extreme game of Buck, Buck, Goose yet."

"Run! It's a drive-by herding!"

Bhu
2013-07-07, 03:31 PM
"How the hell did we get in here without oppose able thumbs?"

'dude...I am never eating fermented crab apples again..."

Cuthalion
2013-07-07, 07:19 PM
"Well, look here, we came through the windshield, alright?"

--

"Well, I'll be staggered!"

--

"And the he said, well, you guys are kinda stupid, and the car is worth two bucks..."

--

"I want to go to Rome!"
"No, I would rather go to Istanbul."
"Look, let's hurry up and decide, because soon, we're gonna be going to Venison."

--

Modern D&D: Random Encounters.

Sgt. Cookie
2013-07-09, 08:17 AM
Cars accidents. They're usually deer.

The Succubus
2013-07-09, 09:55 AM
If we don't hear from PIK by tomorrow, shall we find a new image?

PurityIcekiller
2013-07-09, 04:19 PM
All right, here you are.

Third prize, for knowing the right order:
"Dangnab it Cletus. Shoot them first, then bring them home."

Second prize, for a not-quite-so-outdated joke:
"Hurray up, Pete! We'll be late for the Stag Party!"

And first prize, which got a laugh the moment I saw it:
"........ As the mighty hunter followed the tracks to the parking lot, he soon realized his mistake of leaving his keys in the car."

Let's have it, Drakeburn!

Drakeburn
2013-07-09, 04:53 PM
Thanks PIK!

*walks up to the stage to accept the honor*

Well folks, I have a special treat for you.....

http://www.guy-sports.com/fun_pictures/duck_pickpocket.jpg

Komodo
2013-07-09, 07:36 PM
Duck, duck, duck...
...
...she never noticed the goose.

Scarlet Knight
2013-07-10, 10:47 AM
"As healthcare costs rose, AFLAC began to think outside the box to insure profits..."

The Succubus
2013-07-11, 05:02 AM
Distracted by the adorable ducklings, she was unaware of the hot bill-on-bill action going on behind her.

Balmas
2013-07-11, 09:43 AM
Encouraged by Disney's success with "Oliver," Dreamworks decided to try its own take on the subject.

Snowfire
2013-07-12, 03:33 PM
When the her husband refused to pay child support after leaving her, Daphne had to take extreme measures to stay afloat.

CrimsonKnight
2013-07-12, 03:37 PM
"I'll put down $20 that Sir Quacksalot takes them both out by the third round."

SnowballMan
2013-07-12, 10:17 PM
"In tonight's installment of Buck, Buck, Goose, things take a turn for the mischievous."

I think it might be photoshopped, there is something fowl about that picture.

"If the police catch him, his goose is cooked."

"Ma'am. Ma'am. You dropped something. Ma'am?"

"Some people juggle geese."

onionbreath
2013-07-15, 10:06 PM
I am crushing your head!

Drakeburn
2013-07-16, 12:51 PM
I think we've been waiting a tad bit long, so let us get this show on the road.....

Third place, for How a Kids Game Can Go Wrong:
Duck, duck, duck...
...
...she never noticed the goose.

Second place, for Mother Goose in Debt:
When the her husband refused to pay child support after leaving her, Daphne had to take extreme measures to stay afloat.

And first place for Healthcare Strikes Back:
"As healthcare costs rose, AFLAC began to think outside the box to insure profits..."

Show us what you got Scarlet Knight!

Scarlet Knight
2013-07-16, 06:55 PM
Thank you! Ok, this may be great or terrible ...but you guys have always come up with clever things.

Let's turn the mirror on ourselves... here are the original trolls: Statler & Waldorf!

http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/multimedia/archive/00346/14769354__346274c.jpg

CrimsonKnight
2013-07-16, 11:19 PM
Statler: You gotta hand it to the Order of the Stick: they get stabbed, zapped, blown up, beaten into stone pillars, separated from friends and lovers, killed, reanimated into undead monsters, and are disliked by most of the people they meet on a regular basis, yet they never, ever give up. Why do you think they don't just quit?
Waldorf: I wouldn't know, I quit reading that comic years ago.
Both: Do-ho-ho-ho-ho!

The Succubus
2013-07-17, 06:57 AM
Statler: I don't think I could come up with a caption for that person typing on the keyboard staring at us.
Waldorf: Why's that?
Statler: Mom always taught me that if I didn't have anything nice to say, I shouldn't say anything.
Both: Bah-haha-hahahaaaa!

Drakeburn
2013-07-18, 01:26 PM
Statler: I think I failed my perception check.
Waldorf: Why do you think that?
Statler: Because I can't see anything good about this show!

Lentrax
2013-07-19, 05:27 PM
Waldorf: I've got nothin' for this.
Statler: That's what I've been trying to tell these people for years. But I'm still in this idiotic box bein' stared at!

Scarlet Knight
2013-07-22, 07:41 PM
Statler: “ I hate being the picture in this contest.”
Waldorf: “It could be worse.”
Statler: “How?”
Waldorf: “We could be reading the jokes!”
Both: Do ho ho ho!


Ok , third place to :

Statler: I think I failed my perception check.
Waldorf: Why do you think that?
Statler: Because I can't see anything good about this show!
Second place to:

Statler: I don't think I could come up with a caption for that person typing on the keyboard staring at us.
Waldorf: Why's that?
Statler: Mom always taught me that if I didn't have anything nice to say, I shouldn't say anything.
Both: Bah-haha-hahahaaaa!
And the winner for best muppet channeling:

Statler: You gotta hand it to the Order of the Stick: they get stabbed, zapped, blown up, beaten into stone pillars, separated from friends and lovers, killed, reanimated into undead monsters, and are disliked by most of the people they meet on a regular basis, yet they never, ever give up. Why do you think they don't just quit?
Waldorf: I wouldn't know, I quit reading that comic years ago.
Both: Do-ho-ho-ho-ho!

Take it away Sir Crimson!

CrimsonKnight
2013-07-23, 12:17 AM
Alright then, here we go with these interesting individuals (larger version here (http://artistsinauction.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/art-in-odd-places-004.jpg)):

http://artistsinauction.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/art-in-odd-places-004.jpg?w=460

onionbreath
2013-07-23, 12:28 AM
"Dude, check it out. She's totally drinking out of her soda can with a straw!"
"LOL! What a weirdo!"
"Totally!"

Lentrax
2013-07-23, 09:59 AM
The really awkward part came later when the old, pregnant, nursing woman with a broken foot came along and sat down, not realizing there were already people sitting there.

Sgt. Cookie
2013-07-23, 10:46 AM
I don't know what you rolled, but you rolled poorly.

Scarlet Knight
2013-07-23, 04:23 PM
Yes, I know I've used this, but it works so well....


"Hey! I don't care what the fashionistas think! It's winter...it's Alaska....& I'm waaarm!"

Cuthalion
2013-07-24, 12:50 PM
Ninjas: Art in motion, or sometimes not.

Bhu
2013-07-24, 05:04 PM
"This doesn't look like Comic-Con, our disguises will be useless among the humans here."

"They look like English-speaking animals. A shame we've been programmed with Japanese."

"Ask the angry one with the diet Coke where we are."

"Her sweat smells like popcorn butter. You ask."

The Succubus
2013-07-25, 08:54 AM
The other occupants of the bench shied away from the brightly coloured individuals, fearing a stitch-up.

Lentrax
2013-07-25, 09:38 AM
I don't know about you, but I'd be uncomfortable sitting near such a close-knit couple.

Trufflehound
2013-07-25, 09:48 AM
While yarn golems are impractical for dungeon defense or other combat uses, they are well suited for raising awareness.

Komodo
2013-07-25, 10:16 AM
Would you like to hear why they're dressed up like that? It's quite a yarn.

When the comedian promised to leave his audience in stitches, he meant it.

Rorschach's replacements could never live up to their predecessor's popularity.

This forum thread has really been strung out by now.

Trufflehound
2013-07-25, 03:23 PM
It really needled Edna when Bob said, "The pin is mightier than the sword." But whenever she tried to correct him, he said she was knitpicking.

SnowballMan
2013-07-25, 07:59 PM
I think I've been playing Minecraft too much because the first thing to come to mind when I saw that picture was a hissing sound.

The military is still trying to perfect their urban camouflage.

Things were about to turn ugly as the knitters were clearly sitting in quilt sewer territory.

"How do they not suffocate in those."
"Cotton yarn is a breathable textile."

"These are knit the droids you are looking for."

There is an interesting story here, and you can be sure that by the end, all loose threads will be tied up.


This forum thread has really been strung out by now.
Now you are just being quite wooly.

Komodo
2013-07-25, 08:05 PM
Now you are just being quite wooly.

There isn't much more to be said here, is there? We're all left threadbare.

Scarlet Knight
2013-07-25, 08:22 PM
I love how these puns are all wove together....

Drakeburn
2013-07-25, 08:43 PM
"'Don't go outside without your sweaters' she said. 'Your grandma made them for us' she said."

"The one thing mother didn't say was that our grandma used to be in the army!"

SnowballMan
2013-07-25, 09:03 PM
I love how these puns are all wove together....
I do not cotton to that notion.


There isn't much more to be said here, is there? We're all left threadbare.
And if this were a zoological forum, then we would be left with a bear thread.

Speaking of animal threads:
http://i43.tinypic.com/s5k110.jpg
Of course, that would make this catknit.

Diego Havoc
2013-07-26, 04:25 AM
I love how these puns are all wove together....
They've been strung together seamlessly.

Snowfire
2013-07-26, 05:04 AM
They've been strung together seamlessly.

Be careful though, if you add too much yarn it'll end up all knotted.

Elemental
2013-07-26, 06:06 AM
Speaking of animal threads:
http://i43.tinypic.com/s5k110.jpg
Of course, that would make this catknit.

That picture is perhaps the most adorable in the entire Internet.

Scarlet Knight
2013-07-26, 09:34 AM
"Do you recognize those guys on the bench?"

"Is that...?"

"YES! It's John Linen & George Harris-Tweed!"

Diego Havoc
2013-07-26, 05:46 PM
Be careful though, if you add too much yarn it'll end up all knotted.
Sew far, sew good.

CrimsonKnight
2013-07-29, 12:26 PM
Ah sorry, got a little distracted. Okay, then, the winners:

Third Place

Ninjas: Art in motion, or sometimes not.

Second Place

I don't know about you, but I'd be uncomfortable sitting near such a close-knit couple.

And the winner is:

"Do you recognize those guys on the bench?"

"Is that...?"

"YES! It's John Linen & George Harris-Tweed!"

Didn't intend to bounce it right back to Scarlet, but that was just awesome. Or awesomely bad. Either way, you're up.

Lentrax
2013-07-29, 12:26 PM
Hey, check out this tweed.

Lol. Totally posted right after the judging.

SnowballMan
2013-07-29, 02:26 PM
Hey, check out this tweed.

Lol. Totally posted right after the judging.
You have failed for the last twine.

Lentrax
2013-07-29, 03:21 PM
I just got so tangled up in the puns looming over this thread that I couldn't help myself.

Snowfire
2013-07-29, 05:20 PM
Yeah, it's pretty hard to thread your way between them all.

CrimsonKnight
2013-07-29, 07:13 PM
The puns... too much... Scarlet, please post a pic already and save me from this onslaught!

Snowfire
2013-07-30, 04:21 AM
Oh come on, this can't be the worst yarn that you've been needled with.

Lentrax
2013-07-30, 11:33 AM
Sew anyway, we need a new picture.

Snowfire
2013-07-30, 12:33 PM
Hopefully things'll weave together in the next few hours. This tapestry of puns is getting a bit frayed.

Cuthalion
2013-07-30, 12:39 PM
I hope Scarlet red this string of posts.

Snowfire
2013-07-30, 01:50 PM
Just so long as we haven't driven him to dye due to all the puns.

Lentrax
2013-07-30, 03:32 PM
Someone should spool out some line to guide him back in here.

CrimsonKnight
2013-07-30, 04:32 PM
... in the interests of preserving what little of my sanity is left, I am giving Scarlet 24 hours to post a new pic, or else it will pass to Lentrax.

Cuthalion
2013-07-30, 04:40 PM
These aren't even all good puns! Some of them are second-string.

Snowfire
2013-07-30, 04:47 PM
The fourth string's the worst though. Hardly ever gets any needlework in, y'know.

SnowballMan
2013-07-30, 06:29 PM
This is knit the purpose of this thread!

Wooled you post the next picture already. The wait is shear dread. I can feel it looming. Just make sure it is a quality picture, none of that sheep stuff.

Lentrax
2013-07-31, 12:43 PM
Is this quality enough?

http://s18.postimg.org/g19jyj3vd/image.jpg

Sorry, Scarlet, folks were getting anxious.

Snowfire
2013-07-31, 12:52 PM
Is this quality enough?

http://dailydoseofcute.net/wp-content/uploads/uzGye.jpg

Sorry, Scarlet, folks were getting anxious.

Um....that url isn't working.

Lentrax
2013-07-31, 01:52 PM
Rly? It shows fine for me...

Weird.

Changed picture... See it now?

SnowballMan
2013-07-31, 03:17 PM
On the one hand, that picture is funny enough not to need captions, on the other hand is four fingers and a thumb.
-------------------------------------------

The remake of the Dukes of Hazard was halted today as they found out the new General Lee did not have enough power to jump a ravine. Nor a river. Most streams. And some pot holes.

"The traditional hood slide is going to seem a lot less impressive."

"So we won't be doing the jump-in-through-the-window bit. We tried it in preproduction and the person just ended up flying out the other window."

"I'm really hoping that Daisy hasn't been similarly reduced."

Snowfire
2013-07-31, 03:20 PM
"This afternoon, automotive manufacturers announced that they had successfuly negotiated a contract with CBS to produce Dukes of Hazzard themed rollerskates for giants. Prices are planned to start at $20,000 for a pair."

The Succubus
2013-07-31, 05:28 PM
Boss Hogg finally managed to put General Lee in the car crusher and about frigging time too.

Arkhosia
2013-08-02, 07:36 AM
The South: now in ninja form!

Venom3053000
2013-08-02, 08:58 PM
well the duke boys have hit some hard times

Death by DM
2013-08-03, 03:00 PM
This car one the race!

SnowballMan
2013-08-03, 05:59 PM
This car one the race!

Eye sea watt ewe did their. :smallbiggrin:

Scarlet Knight
2013-08-03, 06:18 PM
I apologize , everyone. I was away for the week.

Hmm, nice pic.


"For the environmentally aware Southerner, we have the General Light-horse Lee..."

Lentrax
2013-08-05, 09:27 AM
In third place, with the Straight From the Show award:

well the duke boys have hit some hard times

In second place, and winner of the It Still Looks New award:

Boss Hogg finally managed to put General Lee in the car crusher and about frigging time too.

And in first place with the It Really Is As Bad As It Sounds award:

On the one hand, that picture is funny enough not to need captions, on the other hand is four fingers and a thumb.

And an honorable mention:

The Amen, Brother award:

"I'm really hoping that Daisy hasn't been similarly reduced."

SnowballMan
2013-08-05, 02:48 PM
And now for something completely different:
http://i42.tinypic.com/27zkf0y.jpg

And if you find that one a little too depressing:
You don't have to caption this one, I just thought it looked nice.
http://i41.tinypic.com/10ritxl.jpg

Arkhosia
2013-08-05, 03:28 PM
He always said he wanted to be King Of The Hill, but we didn't think he was serious.

Lentrax
2013-08-05, 03:57 PM
I swear, if the black knight ever makes his way across this moat...

When I said I wanted a 'house with a big basement,' this isn't exactly what I had in mind.

Scarlet Knight
2013-08-05, 06:42 PM
"I don't care what those City Planners say; I ain't sellin!"

Arkhosia
2013-08-05, 07:17 PM
He really wants to reach Cloud Nine!

And I thought I hated family visits the most.

The builders declared Lee's house the pinnacle of engineering today.

When he said that he wanted a house on a mountain, Chang didn't mean this.

"How the heck are we supposed to deliver this package?!?!"

Skymall went into the apartment business.

Elemental
2013-08-05, 09:42 PM
At first, Bill was excited about the low rent, then he found out exactly why it was so low.

The Succubus
2013-08-06, 04:33 AM
After seeing the property he'd actually bought, he felt a bit of a hillock.

Komodo
2013-08-06, 07:07 AM
When they said "Open 24/7, come hell or high water," they weren't kidding.

Diego Havoc
2013-08-06, 04:19 PM
They really will build a Starbucks just about anywhere.

Scarlet Knight
2013-08-06, 06:30 PM
"DPW? This is the third time I've called this week. Waddaya mean it's only a pothole?!"

Drakeburn
2013-08-06, 06:35 PM
Going with the first picture:

"What is the meaning of this!?!? When I said that we need to 'expand our territory', this is not what I meant!"

Sgt. Cookie
2013-08-09, 10:47 AM
The new Free Climber's Society has a rather elegant initiation test...

SnowballMan
2013-08-09, 01:42 PM
There was a sound of metallic voices in the background. "Ex-ca-vate! Ex-ca-vate!" It was then the Doctor realized the Daleks were using a new strategy to capture him.

"Our doughnut shaped explosives have proven to be a success."

Sound proofing an entire house : 20,000 yuan.
Renting digging equipment : 80,000 yuan.
Hiring people to work through the night : 10,000 yuan.
The look on your brothers face come the morning of April Fools : priceless!


"How the heck are we supposed to deliver this package?!?!"You know, when I worked for FedEx, I kinda wondered why they had climbing gear in those trucks.


And now...
For the moment some of you may have been waiting for...

Third place and winner of the "Bureaucracy" Award:

"DPW? This is the third time I've called this week. Waddaya mean it's only a pothole?!"

Second Place and winner of the "Tastes The Same" Award:

They really will build a Starbucks just about anywhere.


First Place and winner of the "Can't Top This" Award

The builders declared Lee's house the pinnacle of engineering today.

Arkhosia
2013-08-09, 03:00 PM
Thank you, thank you! Hold your applause!

Without further ado:
http://www.whatsonsanya.com/news_images/5bcfef21f39998132ad2b4c8_Nazi-chic_1.jpg

Lentrax
2013-08-10, 03:24 AM
Small wonder Dr. McNinja hates this guy. Look at his girlfriend!

SnowballMan
2013-08-10, 01:03 PM
"We're only on page 9 and already someone invokes Godwin's law."

In an alternate timeline, Hitler was hired by the McDonald brothers to help with promoting their business. The Big Heil became the best selling burger in the world.

"So... are they trying to say that Hitler was a clown or that McDonalds employs Nazi like tactics?"
"Both."
"What does the girl represent?"
"I swear, you've learned nothing about post modernism as it relates to the oppression of the masses."
"She just walked off."
"Oh, well in that case she was posing for a picture."