Kobold Run: Purple Team (IC)

[boldfont]

Welcome to the First Centennial Kobold Run!

Purple Team

Cue theme music (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVezbVxp2Pw).
An overhead of Kobold City can be seen. Hundreds of thousands of joyous kobolds dance like excited ants in honey in the streets, on the balconies of their six story mudscrapers, and thousands more watch from home on their scrying stones. The emblem of XIR the Magnificent flips onto the viewing image and the announcer's voices chime in.

Hello Kobolds and Koboldettes, and hatclings of all ages, and welcome to the First Centennial Kobold Run! I'm your host Grax Greyworm.

And I'm Diane Cuddlegrub.

We come to you live today from Mount Xir for this once in a century special event. There's going to be blood! There's going to be scales! Murder and mayhem! Thrills, chills, and good times for the whole family. They dangers that await our altheletes are manifold and some of the most creative death traps in the land. The buzz is that the players will face dragon spawn, frustrating and deadly puzzles, environment obstacles, and I've heard that Xir even has an incorporeal beholder on staff.

Incorporeal? You mean, like dead and ghosty and stuff?

Yes!

The beholder is dead? That's so sad.

Sad? Wha... It's a good thing you're pretty Diane. Regardless, this is shaping up to be one hell of an event.

Oh I can hardly wait, Grax. Who do you think is going to win?

Well it's tough to say Diane. There is a good possibility no one will win, but my electrum is on the Red Team. Trombag and Tax are both powerful spellcasters. Rumour has it that Tax was selected for the games for his financial indiscretions when handling the Mighty Xir's coin. If he can bring that ingenuity to the dungeon, I think a small team of two elites has a good chance of taking it.

Yes, and of course Trombag has those powerful wildshape forms.

That's a good point Diane. I know the kids at home are really looking forward to seeing that.

But what about the Blue team? Aren't they supposed to be a classic well rounded team of four?

Yes, but they decided to go a different route. Rather than diversify their respective positions the team has decided to focus on martial prowess and stealth. Blue team has two swordsages and a rogue. And for some reason they've thrown a Warblade into the mix. I'm not sure about this strategy.

Oooo... I like swordsages.

Of course, then there's the Green team. They did a pretty good job of diversifying and taking advantage of their superior numbers.

I understand that one of them stocked up on healing potions, is that correct?

Yes, a young "Julius the Tyrannical Paladin". We'll see if it pays off for him.

I like the Purple team!

Well, that's because you're retarded Diane

Xir the Great and Powerful Red Wyrm of Ages strides proudly through main street in Kobold City. Confetti chokes the air with colour and glitter and the screams of adoration fill the whole mountain.

And here comes Xir! The crowd is going wild.

He's so handsome! Uhh! I just want to lick his toenails or something.

I know what you mean Diane. That's one fine fire lizard.

Xir approaches the City Central Dias. His Colossal claws gesture to magically raise the sounding stone with which he will make his pronouncement.

My loyal subjects,
Thank you. Thank you. You are too kind.
Please... quiet down.

The cheering respectfully subsides.

Thank you.

As you know, this is our first ever Centennial Kobold Run. One day, while I was bathing in my vast piles of gold and picking my fabulous teeth with the femur of the latest adventurer to cross my path.

A rousing chorus of booing fills the catacombs. Xir chuckles.


Now now! They serve their purposes. If we didn't have adventurers the trap cleaners wouldn't have any gore to mop up.

An obligatory city wide chuckle follows.


Seriously though, I was looking for a way to improve our security system, when it occurred to me that my loyal subjects could use some entertainment. What if we could see our labour in action, and watch as the intruders get smashes, boiled, eaten, and pickled? Wouldn't that be fun? After years of planning and careful consideration I selected fifteen special kobolds to compete in a race. The winner will be rewarded with amnesty and riches will rain upon them forever. The losers shall die. And so it is with great pride that I declare that this First Centennial Kobold Run officially open...
BEGIN!

With a single flourish, the Dragon Xir activates his teleportation spell. The kobolds magically appear in their positions and the crowd goes wild.

Purple Team

A Kobold wakes up with a splitting headache in a small 30x30x30 foot room. He can't remember anything about this place, why he's here, or even who he is. He appears to be wearing a gaudy purple chainmail shirt. There is a plaque attached to the armour. It reads “White Eyes”. Yes White Eyes. That must be his name. A few things begin to fall into place for him. White Eyes is a Thief! And a great warrior! There is a crossbow lying next to him. He knows how to use it. And he hates gnomes too. He hates most things actually. What else?
...
He can't recall. But he knows he's in danger here. Everything in his bones is telling him to be wary of anything and everything. If he could just...
He becomes frustrated with his own mind. He knows there was a life in there, but someone took it out of him.

The room is perfectly square in all dimensions. The walls, floors, and ceilings are all made of perfectly interlocking square stone. There are complex arcane symbols drawn all over the place. The doors... they are more like hatches. Six hatches: one on each wall, one on the ceiling, and one in the floor. They are numbered "516" "6116" "626" "716" "615" and the one on the floor is "617"
He has a bad feeling about this...

There's something in his pocket. Instinctively he pulls it our and brings it up to his ear. When he does he can here kobolds talking...

Because I can see the sun setting in the background Diane, and I'm not an idiot.

Oh. Hahahaha! You're so clever.

Everything is relative Diane. Everything is relative.

Hahahaha! Silly Grax! I'm not your relative.

Thank goodness for that. Oh look! It looks like the Purple Team has discovered the scrying stone. You'll recall, dear viewers, that the Purple Team is our wild card for the Kobold Run. He is our solo player and hence at a serious disadvantage. Most of us are expecting some great bloopers out of this one.

Oh he's in the Cube! I've been waiting to see that.

Me too Diane. His Worship has kept this little surprise under the utmost secrecy. This means that the Purple Team is significantly closer the Xir's lair than all the other teams, but is that a good thing? Let's watch.

“White Eyes” (if that is his name) fiddles with the smooth flat magical stone for a bit. He finds that if he tilts it a certain way he can see other Kobolds dressed in similarly ridiculous colours. So this is a game, is it? How does he win...?

Map (http://koboldrun.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/kr-cube-base.jpg)

[Fates]

"White Eyes" groans, hefting the crossbow. He sure as hell hopes this isn't a puzzle.

Loading a grappling hook into his crossbow, the misanthropic kobold attempts to grab a hold of the ceiling hatch, and, upon succeeding, shimmies upwards, cautiously drawing one of his old gnomish wands.

Attack roll: [roll0]
Attack roll: [roll1]
Attack roll: [roll2]
Attack roll: [roll3]

If none of those succeed, I'll take 20.

Climb Check (all tries are used for the first success):

Attack roll: [roll4]
Attack roll: [roll5]
Attack roll: [roll6]
Attack roll: [roll7]

And I'll take 20 if none of those succeed either.

And I'll take out my wand of Nerveskitter, in case I'm immediately confronted by something that requires initiative rolling.

[boldfont]

White Eyes finds that blasting his grappling hook at the door from a mere 26 feet away is a bad idea. Loud clanging echoes throughout the room and the attempt is spectacularly unsuccessful. He tries again with a gentle loft and gets the hook right on target. He is just about to climb when he hears a small squeaky voice from behind door "6136".

"Hello? Is anybody there?"

[Fates]

Rather than answer, White Eyes rushes to the door as quickly and quietly as possible, and, channeling what little power he's bothered to learn, hides himself from view as he stands beside the door, crossbow raised, loaded, and aimed at whatever lurks within.

Hide Check: [roll0]
Move Silently Check: [roll1]
Using my Cloak of Deception boost to turn invisible for the next round.

[boldfont]

The handle of "6136" turns by the power of a hand on the other side. The hatch opens with a clank and a hiss. These hatches open into the wall rather than out or in. They are sized for kobolds and similarly small beings.

A figure emerged. It is a slight mousy looking gnome girl in a pink floral dress with over-sized spectacles. She has a satchel, but no weapons. She hasn't checked the corners immediately after entering like a professional would, and so she hasn't yet even had a chance to see White Eyes. She eyes the rope and grapple, still hanging from the ceiling hatch, and wanders towards it.

She's bewildered. She's clueless. A babe in the woods.

H-h-hello? Anyone? Please help me.

[Fates]

White Eye's face stretches into a crooked grin, and he chuckles to himself as he fires two bolts experimentally at the hideous "child" (as he suspects this is some sort of trick), then dropping his old wand into his pack in favor of a different one.

Attacks:
[roll0]
[roll1]

Damage:
[roll2]
[roll3]

Sneak Attack:
[roll4]
[roll5]

Initiative:
[roll6]

Drawing my wand of lesser celerity just in case.

EDIT: Just in case that is actually a living thing, I did do over 50 points of damage, which means she'd need to roll a fortitude save or die, assuming the damage doesn't take her out.

[boldfont]

The two crossbow bolt stick into the gnome girl and a red stain blossoms from the newly implanted stems. She falls forward and her glasses smash on the ground. She is dead.

[Fates]

White eyes finds himself faced with two options- go through the upper door to the presumably safer upper level, or go through door 6136 in the hopes of a gnome slaughter-fest. This time, his better judgement prevails, and he is about to climb the rope when he realizes he had forgotten the most essential element of adventuring- loot the corpses! Slowly, gingerly, the kobold approaches his victim's corpse, and searches it for anything useful or informative.

[boldfont]

His search reveals that this "ugly" gnome girl was in no way prepared for this dungeon. Or for him...
She has nothing but her pink dress, ribbons in her hair, and her specs which were smashed on the floor after she fell down dead in a pool of her own blood.

White Eye climbs to the ceiling hatch. It is difficult to open the hatch while he and his grappling hook hang from the very handle he wants to turn, but with some effort and torquing of his body the murderous villain is able to awkwardly remove the hook, turn the handle, open the door and climb up. It take him about ten minutes and it is considerable exercise.

He climbs up into room "615". It looks identical to room "616", which, judging by the plaque on the floor hatch of this room, is the room he just left. He has yet to pull his tail up and close the hatch behind him.

EDIT
I guess I kind of assumed you would go up the rope as planned after looting the corpse and finding nothing. I hope that's okay.

[Fates]

White Eyes clambers out of the hatch, and enters the door to his right.

[boldfont]

CLICK
White Eyes steps on a tile which sinks into the floor a half inch. His eyes dart back and forth when he hears the movement of chains behind each wall. He was familiar with the mechanics of such things and knew what came next. Something sharp and deadly. Regret flooded him for not searching before stepping...

Spikes begin growing out of the ceiling from hidden compartments at different speeds. Eventually the whole room will be full of them and there will be nowhere to hide. The doors are undoubtedly all locked. He is certain the trap won't reset until it has either run its course (in which case the room will be filled with spikes and he will be dead) or White Eyes puts a stop to it. Some of the spikes shoot out in his vicinity with alarming speed.


Number of spikes are random. [roll0]
[roll1] for [roll2] spiky death damage
[roll3] for [roll4]
[roll5] for [roll6]
[roll7] for [roll8]
[roll9] for [roll10]
[roll11] for [roll12]
[roll13] for [roll14]
[roll15] for [roll16]
Don't forget to add your trapsense bonus to AC when determining hit or miss! Not flatfooted because you heard the click.

[Fates]

With near-supernatural alacrity, White Eyes leaps about, dodging every single shooting spike. He quickly analyzes his next course of action.

[boldfont]

He figures that the counterweights which cause the spears to bob up and down are located in the walls. White Eyes was made for this sort of challenge. Most kobolds would have difficulty with the variant speeds and frequencies with which the spears poke and prod, but White Eyes is able to time each step with ease. There is a pattern to the thrusting of these spikes and he seses it intuitively. Left foot back, lean forward, lean back, step right, lead forward, smash panel, step back, step forward, stick bolt in chain to stop it from moving, repeat.

By the end of the thieves waltz he has pleased his partner completely. He is now able to read the numbers above the hatches at his leisure. They read:


614

515

6115
625

715

616


With 29 AC vs Traps, this encounter really isn't a challenge for White Eyes. Let's auto pass it and the next adventurers to enter the room can thank you. Or you could reset the trap before you leave...

[Fates]

Beaming (can kobolds beam?) triumphantly, White Eyes makes his way to room 515; as he leaves, he attempts to reset the trap to make things difficult for the next unfortunate passerby.

What check would it be to reset the trap? Would it be craft (trapmaking)?

If so, [roll0]

Also going to make a search check as soon as I enter this next room.

[roll1]

[Fates]

If that first check doesn't find anything, I'll try twice more just to be safe.

[roll0]
[roll1]

[boldfont]

Success! White Eyes uses his thieves tools to reset the floor tile triggers and rebalanced the chains. It is a simple enough mechanical trap, although White Eyes can see room for improvement. He thinks additional counterweights and a pendulum would help alternate the stab patterns, making them harder to avoid. If some of the spikes came at you from the sides, that would be even better. But there was no time for perfection. This expensive bit of sophomoric work would have to do.

The next room is... the same as the last. No traps can be found, however. Why should there be traps in 615 but not 515? And why are all the rooms the same? It is madness or a pattern; one of the two, certainly.

Room 515


514 (ceiling)

415

5115
525

615

516 (floor)

[Fates]

White Eyes carefully makes his way to the hatch to room 415. Might as well follow the pattern, after all.

Taking the total defence action to add +4 to my AC as I do so.

[boldfont]

White Eyes can't help but feel a tinge of frustration when he enters yet another identical room. Nothing but the numbers and an absence of gnomes or traps distinguishes it from any other room so far.

Room 415


414

315

4115
425

515

416

[Fates]

Relieved, but somewhat dissapointed, White Eyes once again carefully trods through the room, keeping his eyes out for traps. He goes to room 315, as it continues along his "strategy" as it were.

Search check: [roll0]
Taking total defence again.

If 315 is equally uninteresting, and a 215 is near it, I'll go that way, and the same with 215-115-015, if applicable. If anything interesting happens in any of those rooms, I'll stop there. If the rooms do not continue the X15 pattern, I'll stop at the last X15 and see what to do from there.

[roll1]
[roll2]
[roll3]
Total defence, both times.

[boldfont]

I'm glad you wrote your post that way. I had to stop you here, although this room isn't all that interesting, because it did not go as expected.

The next room is equally uninteresting. And the next. At least it is consistent, suggesting a pattern and therefore design rather than madness. Or perhaps both. When White Eyes reaches Room 115 the next room in the sequence is not 015 like he may have expected, but 1115. A realization dawns on White Eyes. It is not 1115, but 11-1-5. He'd seen this in another direction. The numbers now read:

Room 115


114

1115

1115
125


215

116

But why would the sequence jump from 1 to 11? Why not 0? And if 1 was not the end value, what was? Was this a loop?

[Fates]

Smugly satisfied that he had figured out the numbers' meaning, White eyes nonetheless continues into room 1115, to see what number comes after 11, if nothing else.;

[boldfont]

White Eyes finds that it is as he suspected. After 1115 comes 1105. Room 1115 presents the following familiar options.


1114

1105
11115
2115


115

1116

Listen [roll0] DC 10
Nope! Don't hear it.

[Fates]

Listen [roll0] DC 10
Nope! Don't hear it.



I've always got hunter's sense active. Do I smell it?


Somewhat confused, White Eyes activates the scrying stone, to see whether those obnoxious announcers had anything of value to say.

[boldfont]

He may not hear anything, but he can certainly pick up that rancid smell of dehydrated and dying manling. Somewhere nearby there is a human being that is on death's door, if not already dead. It is a scent similar to undeath, but it is not necessarily undeath. The smell is strong (for White Eyes anyway). White Eyes believes the source is no more than two, but he cannot say which. He can narrow it down. It is either 1114 or 1116. Obviously the manling passed through here, but which way he was coming or going is a mystery.

[Fates]

Curious, White Eyes lifts the hatch to room 1114, and peers down. If he cannot hear, see, or smell whatever is down there, he'll attach his grappling hook to the edge of the open hatch and climb down to investigate.

[boldfont]

Lying in the fetal position on the floor below was a gaunt human male with beard holding his sides and breathing heavily. He was clearly injured. He had the stink of starvation. Even from thirty feet above, White Eyes could see the human's skin was dry and the lips chapped. He was ungroomed and wore no pants. From what White Eyes knew of the humans, this one was probably dehydrated and starving. It turned its head and made eye contact.

Heh! And after all this, I'm going to die at the hands of a stupid kobold. What a joke Olidammara has played on me.

[Fates]

White eyes looks at the human, his face void of emotion. He stands above him for a few moments, before pinching a vital nerve to paralyze the man, just in case. Whether or not the human is paralyzed, White Eyes gives him a rudimentary once-over, grabbing any weapons he finds on the man's person. He also takes the man's pack. Sitting a few feet away from the dying man, White Eyes holds his crossbow out, aimed at the man's neck.

For the first time since he arrived in this pit, White Eyes speaks, his voice harsh and gruff, scarcely louder than a whisper. Killed by a kobold...aye, I suspect that is the fate your disgusting god has set for you- your's are all the same.

Now, let's play a game, shall we? Give me three reasons why I should let you live- some ways you can be of use to me- and if I find even one acceptable, I will not kill you. Two, and I'll feed and quench you. Three, and I'll give you your things back. If you prove useless, at least I'll have your screams to lighten my spirit- the filthy gnome-spawn I killed earlier died far too quickly, and I am not so averse to the taste of man-flesh.

With that last note, White Eyes puts on a sort of twisted grin, full of hunger, malice, and utter depravity.


Using an unarmed-strike paralyzing death attack on the human. I assume that needs no roll, since he's helpless. DC to resist paralysis is 13, and does 1 point of nonlethal damage (1d2-1). Choosing not to do sneak attack damage on this, but if such a choice is not allowed, I'll simply skip the paralyzing- it was probably unnecessary anyway.

[Fates]

Oh, right, I should probably roll an intimidate check. [roll0] (-4 from small size)

[boldfont]

The helpless human gasps in pain after the paralyzing strike, which incidentally landed on a tender bruise and broken ribs bones. Through this incredible anguish he laughs weakly.
You are going to DIE kobold. Eh Heh Heh.. *WHEEZE* Just like me. I've been here a week at least. You- threaten me if you must, but you won't last the day.

[Fates]

Angry with himself for bothering to attempt to parlay with a mammal, White Eyes grumbles. Perhaps you're right, but I'm afraid you won't live to see the validity of your words. Now, I think It's time I fulfilled my promise. Plucking a long, jagged knife from a sheathe on his breast, White Eyes approaches the dying man.

I won't go into detail, obviously, but White Eyes tortures him for a few minutes or so, and unceremoniously amputates his hands and feet. Whether or not the human is dead at this point, White Eyes climbs back up the rope and enters room 1105, munching on a severed appendage as he goes.


Yeesh, White Eyes is gross. :smallyuk:

[boldfont]

Room 1105 (or 1-10-5 White Eyes believes) is another identical remove. These rooms appear to be never ending! At least, if White Eyes continues to come across stupid mammals, he will never starve to death.

Room 1105


1104

195

11105
2105

1115

1106

[Fates]

The infinitesimal joy White Eyes got from torturing the human has already been crushed by monotony. He reaches into his pack, and procures a small, wooden rod. Normally, he would simply just jabber whatever magical mumbo-jumbo emerged in his mind, but this spell, he understands.

Using my wand of Spider Climb, which doesn't require a check because it's on the assassin spell list. Then, climbing up to the next level, and the next one, and continuing to go up until I find something interesting or hit the top.

[boldfont]

I have assumed you Searched [roll0]
DC is 20.
You rolled instead of taking twenty because this is the last thing you did and taking twenty on every room is not practical when you have cast a spell that will run out eventually.

The monotony is immediately broken by another trap. White Eyes poke his ungly head into Room 1104, searches and find no unusual signs, and then proceeds to spider climb up and through the top hatch. The micro-second he moves the last of his tail through the hatch, all the hatches disappear. White Eyes sees a room with no doors and no windows. Just a 30x30x30 foot granite cube.

It is not long after this realization that the walls and ceiling begin to drip water, even though there are no visible holes. It is just a trickle at first, but it quickly turns into a pour.

The room will fill with 1 foot of water per round, +1 foot per round (i.e. 1, then 2 for a total of 3, then 3 for a total of 6...)

[Fates]

Whites Eyes curses loudly. Water...why didn't he have anything for water?

As he realizes that any moment he'll be in over his head, the kobold clambers to the top of the room, and then climbs to where the upper hatch used to be.

Maybe...yes, that was it! Removing a different wand from his pack, this one thick and made of oak, he works out some manner of gibberish in an attempt to make the wand work.

Using my wand of Stone Shape to open a navigable hole in the ceiling.

UMD check (DC 20): [roll0]

Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease

EDIT: YES!

[boldfont]

A kobold sized hole opens in the ceiling, but instead of an exit to the next room White Eyes has created a giant faucet through which water may flood out of freely and rapidly. The water is now eight feet deep and filling fast!

Now the water comes in at 5 feet +1/round (i.e 8 more next round; this is round 3.)

[Fates]

Sighing, White Eyes climbs through and uses a second charge from the wand to seal the hole. He can tell there's only one charge left now- he'd have to hope nothing like this would happen again.

UMD check: [roll0]

[boldfont]

White Eyes attempts to climb through the newly formed hole. He doesn't make it far. Water begins to gush out with such tenacity that it washes White Eyes down into the water below like some kind of itsy bitsy spider climbing up some kind of spout. He tumbles under the water when the thrust of the downpour dunks him deep. In a moment he surfaces, sputtering and hacking up water. His wand is floating next to him. He grabs it. The water is now sixteen feet deep and filling fast. That water came in force just as he was about to escape. It is like the room is conspiring against him.

You never crawled through so the charge is not wasted. Rolls are being made off forum to prevent meta gaming.

[Fates]

White eyes grumbles, spitting out water as he draws out a third wand. This one was running out, but it should have enough life left in it to be of use here. This room will not be the end of him.

Using my wand of polymorph to turn into a small water elemental. At this point, I'll just wait until the room fills up so I can exit through the hole, which should be easy to get through, seeing as how I'm made of water.

The spell lasts seven minutes.

[roll0]

[boldfont]

The fills with water in under a minute. Before White Eyes can swim (can water swim?) up through the hole, reality wavers. He knew something was up with this room but he just coundn't put his finger on it. The water fades out of existence and White Eyes finds himself in water elemental form in the same familiar room, with hatches. An illusion! The hole he tore into the ceiling is very real. As if to emphasize the dupe, the hole is located right next to the hatch. He briefly wonders if he would have drown in illusionary water before shrugging it off.

Room 1104


1103

194

11104
2104

1114

1105

[Fates]

:smallannoyed:


Well, this is just perfect. White Eyes had wasted one of the two charges in his most powerful wand. As the spider climb spell is still in effect, he climbs upwards, into the room above.