Order of the Stick Parody Songs

[Flipster77]

So, I was listening to an Elton John CD one day and somehow got it into my head that he could be singing "the- the- the- Order of the Stick" rather than "B- B- B- Bennie and the Jets".

I decided to run with it and see if I could make a whole "Bennie and the Jets" parody song with Order of the Stick based lyrics. It wasn't easy, since "Bennie and the Jets" doesn't have many lyrics and I wanted to put in as many OotS references as I could (heck, just check out the chorus; I could only afford the barest of mentions per character) but I'm relatively happy with what I came up with. I imagine it being sung by some DnD veteran trying to introduce the Order to some youngsters.
Feel free to, in fact please do, follow up with your own OotS lyrics for other songs.

Small note: I don't actually think the Linear Guild are lame, I actually find them quite humourous. The lyrics refer to their fighting ability rather than their story-value. Also I needed a rhyme for game :smalltongue:

Here's my finished rendition of "The Order of the Stick" as sung by Elton John:

Elton John - "The Order of the Stick" ("Bennie and the Jets")

Hey kids, stop and listen closely
And I will tell you a tale of heroes good,.. well mostly
They fight the goblin hordes of the lich Xykon
The undead villain Greenhilt swore an oath of vengance upon

Chorus:
There's, Elan and Haley, have you seen them yet
Oh, but they're still making out

The the the Order of the Stick

Oh Durkon's very dependable,
But Belkar he's really mean
Wizard Vaarsuvius, gender unknown
Yeah, Roy leads the strangest bunch you've ever seen
Oh, ho

The the the Order of the Stick
End Chorus

Hey kids, don't sit there looking gormless
I know DnD seems old, but Burlew makes it ageless
It shall survive, let us have ourselves a game
Where we fight our rivals like the Linear Guild,
Though they're kinda lame

Chorus:
Oh, Elan and Haley, have you seen them yet
Oh, but they're still making out

The the the Order of the Stick

Oh Durkon's very dependable,
But Belkar he's really mean
Wizard Vaarsuvius, gender unknown
Yeah, Roy leads the strangest bunch you've ever seen
Oh, ho

The the the Order of the Stick
End Chorus

{Piano solo}

Chorus:
Oh, Elan and Haley, have you seen them yet
Oh, but they're still making out

The the the Order of the Stick

Oh Durkon's very dependable,
But Belkar he's really mean
Wizard Vaarsuvius, gender unknown
Yeah, Roy leads the strangest bunch you've ever seen
Oh, ho

The the the Order of the Stick
End Chorus

The Order, the Order of the Stick

The Order, the Order, the Order, the Order of the Stick...

[Ron Miel]

Elan sings a song in #692 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0692.html)

I wrote lyrics for it here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=133590).

[Flipster77]

Very nice Ron Miel! :smallbiggrin:
Great song choice.

[Lvl45DM!]

I did Stairway For Durkon as a eulogy...Could probably find it given a second

EDIT: Yup!

There's a dwarf who was sure, all the beers are gold
And hes drinking his way, to Valhalla
When he gets there he knows, he'll help fight all Thor's foes
With a word he can stun blind or deafen....
Ooh, ooh, and hes drinking his way, to Valhalla.

There's vampires in the halls but he wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes friends have two faces.
In a space by the gate there's a theres a halfling who brings,
two daggers to a dwarf who tries a dispel.

Ooh, it makes me thunder,
Ooh, it makes me thunder.

There's a prophecy I thought, when I look to the north,
And his body is crying for burying
In his spells he has cast crackling lightning blasts
And the voices of the dwarves, cry "Timber!".

Ooh, it makes me thunder,
Ooh, it really makes me thunder.

And it's whispered that soon, to my home he'll bring doom,
but he'll have to do it when he's exhumed.
And a new day will come for those young humans,
When that stuffy elf is their only caster....

If there's no cleric in your party, don't be alarmed now,
Just make sure you've killed the Linear Guild
Yes, there are two gates you still have to go to but in the long run
We know Xykon's coming to this one.
And it makes me thunder.

His neck is bitten and it won't let go, in case you don't know,
The thunder's calling him to join Thor,
Dear Malack, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
His Bifrost lies in the Canyon of Wind(y)?

And as OotS winds on down the road
Their foes at a much higher level!
There walks a cleric we all know
Who casts white light and wants to show
How every brew still turns to gold.
And if your thirsting is very hard
The brew will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To need to hit and not to rooooooooooooooll.

And he's drinking his way, to Valhalla.

[Flipster77]

Hi Lvl45DM!

Sorry for the extra late response, nonetheless I would like to say a very fine job done on your Stairway For Durkon lyrics! :smallbiggrin:
Definitely a moving tribute to Durkon, may his beers be forever golden :smallfrown:

I have another idea for a parody song, which I'll hopefully put up the lyrics for by the end of the week.

[Lvl45DM!]

Hi Lvl45DM!

Sorry for the extra late response, nonetheless I would like to say a very fine job done on your Stairway For Durkon lyrics! :smallbiggrin:
Definitely a moving tribute to Durkon, may his beers be forever golden :smallfrown:

I have another idea for a parody song, which I'll hopefully put up the lyrics for by the end of the week.

Not gonna lie was pretty proud of that one. Look forward to yours buddy

[Flipster77]

Thanks Lvl45DM!

I'm a couple of days late, but I've got it done!

I know Bohemian Rhapsody has been done to death, but the opening lyrics just matched the illusion strips so well. I had to give it a go :smallbiggrin:.
Some lines were harder than others to change the lyrics for - bonus points if you can pick which ones.
I would have liked to include a line about Belkar and Scruffy dying, but it didn't really fit the words. Anyway, here it is:

Queen - "Girardian Rhapsody" (As sung by OOTS characters)

Open to Roy, Elan, Haley and Belkar in the classic Queen pose, with swirly eyes:

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Stuck in an illusion
No escape to reality
Look in our eyes
Pink swirls fill our minds with glee

:roy: Roy sings:

I'm just fighter Roy, I need no sympathy
Because my best friend, Durkon's dead
A former dwarf, now undead
Anyway the die rolls, doesn't really matter to me, to me

Papa, just killed Xykon
Put my sword right through his head
Tied up Redcloak before he fled
Papa, his necklace is mine
I've only got to throw his soul away
Papa, ooo
Doesn't it make you want to cry
"My oath will be fulfilled this time tomorrow
Well done son, well done son", because that's what really matters

Can't wait, the time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
I have waited all this time
Come on everybody - we've got to go
Gotta take his phylactery and make it burn!
Durkon, ooo (Elan and Haley backing vocals: Anyway the die rolls)
You didn't really die
I guess things are gonna turn out well after all!

Guitar solo kicks in and a montage of happy ending shots are shown.

Roy and Celia outside the chapel:

Roy: I see a little chapel, there must be the clan
Celia: Are we late, are we late yet? Maybe we should fly?
Roy: Do not worry Celia - they won't start without us, see?
Kids: Mr Greenhilt, Mr Greenhilt,
Mr Greenhilt, Mr Greenhilt,
Can I have your autograph?
Roy: Heh, but of course!

Cut to inside the church with Elan:

Elan: I wish I was like Roy, he's not nervous like me
Tarquin: You're not much like Roy, but we are family
No one would dare ruin this matrimony

Elan: Forever, hold your peace - do not say a thing
Nale: Why Elan! No - I will not say a thing - Elan: Not a thing!?
Nale: Why Elan! I will not say a thing - Elan: Not a thing!?
Nale: Why Elan! I will not say a thing - Elan: Not one thing!?
Nale: Will not say a thing - Elan: Not one thing!? (In Elan's head: never, never, never...)
Nale: Will not say a thing - Elan: Not one thing!?
Elan: Never say one thing? - Oooh
No, no, no, no, no, no, no -
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia it's not right
STOP! I'm speaking now and forever dropping my peace...
my peace...
my peace!

Guitar comes back in as Elan realises the truth.

:elan: Elan sings:

Don't you think my dad can't be this nice of a guy?
Don't you think Durkon's dead and Belkar didn't lie?
Oh Haley - this can't be real at all Haley!
We just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here!

Elan, Haley and Roy wake up and free Belkar.

:roy::elan::haley::belkar: All in unison:

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Hope's what really matters
Anyone can see
Hope's what really matters - hope's what really matters to me

Anyway the die rolls...