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View Full Version : A Very Silly Challenge [Please, Join In!]



Amechra
2013-05-14, 02:47 PM
Alright, the basic idea here is this:

In the interests of making crunch concise and readable, I put forth the following challenge:

Write any homebrew you wish, but...

You have to use the smallest number of words possible to get your point across, while being mechanically clear.

Bonus points if it is a haiku or a limerick.

If you are really daring, limit yourself to 140 characters.

I'm just kinda curious to see what will come out of this.

Garryl
2013-05-14, 04:02 PM
For example, if you were doing the Dodge feat in this way, would it be something like this?

Good Dodge [General]
Prerequisites: Dex 13
Effect: +1 AC

(I think I messed up the haiku)

Amechra
2013-05-14, 05:05 PM
Yep.

Like that.

The Mentalist
2013-05-14, 08:21 PM
I shall return with attempts!

bobthe6th
2013-05-14, 09:54 PM
Oh, oh, I got one. A fighter fix.

Fighter: As warblade, but replace the word "warblade" with the word "fighter" in all instances.

The Mentalist
2013-05-15, 12:12 AM
I am Fiendblooded
Benefits:+Feindish Template
Pre-reqs: Evil Aligned


I am Godblooded
Benefits:+Celestial Template
Pre-reqs: Good Aligned


Ring of the Birds
You may speak with birds
Two hundred gold pieces

Ring of the Snake
You may speak with serpents
Two hundred gold pieces

(And so on and so on)

A Forest Linguist
You learn animal speech as skill
Pre-Reqs: Wis 13

Speaker of the Gods
Gain Command to all in voice
+3LA 1CR

Fist of the Old Gods
Immune to weapon damage
+3LA 2CR

I may work on a Haiku Monster

(I have an advantage with these, I do statting on my cellphone at least twice a week)

Will return with more if I feel the mood.

EDIT: AND MORE!

Adventure Sleeper
Command word makes bed from fine
105gp

Adventure Sitter
Command word makes chair from fine
105gp

Adventure Sh**ter
Word makes toliet from fine size
105gp

Adventure Fireplace
Word makes campfire from fine size
105gp

Ouch! a Spasming Blade
Crit makes Stun for 1d6 rounds
+2 enchantment

Bang Bang ow my ears!
Your drum = thunderstone
Perform (Big Drums) 9
^ Skill Trick
Edit 2: After doing these it's hard to go back to regular homebrewing. I'm counting my syllables instinctively... oh the perils of my brain

Edit 3: Still more!

Whisper words of joy
Benefit: Take Haiku feats
Pre-Reqs: None at all

Twisting Turn [Haiku] (Though technically this is a Tanka)
Pre reqs: Whisper Words of Joy
+1 Dodge AC
May be taken multiple times
Yes, it's effects stack

Rhino Hide [Haiku]
Pre reqs: Whisper Words of Joy
+2 Nat AC
May be taken multiple times
Yes, it's effects stack

Clear Action [Haiku]
Pre reqs: Whisper Words of Joy
+1 Insight AC
May be taken multiple times
Yes, it's effects stack


Champion [Haiku]
Pre reqs: Whisper Words of Joy
+1 to attacks
May be taken multiple times
Yes, it's effects stack


Spell Power [Haiku]
Pre reqs: Whisper Words of Joy
+1 to CL
May be taken multiple times
Yes, it's effects stack

And a Limerick Feat

Spellcaster in the Dell
Pre-reqs: No less than three CL
Total metamagics cost one less
Though why this is is anyone's guess
Special: Your soul is damned to hell

Also wrote up two series of Sonnet Feats that I will post later on in the day. (though by the time I post them it may be three or four as I'm working on one for the fighters)

Edit 4: First of the Sonnet Feat Series

Speak to the damned my friend [Sonnet of the Damned]
Pre-Reqs: Dread Necromancer 1
Benefit: You may speak with dead at will

Of love and tragic things [Sonnet of the Damned]
Pre-Reqs: Speak to the damned my friend
Benefit: You may use Mind-Affecting abilities on the Undead

Speak of how they met their end [Sonnet of the Damned]
Pre-Reqs: Of love and tragic things
Benefit: You may Scare (as the spell) an undead as a Swift action

And how they paid the cost [Sonnet of the Damned]
Pre-Reqs:Speak of how they met their end
Create Undead 1/day for Every Sonnet of the Damned feat you possess (may only create sentient undead)

Make them remember far off days [Sonnet of the Damned]
Pre-Reqs: And how they paid the cost
Benefits: You gain the memories of any undead you create

Make them fear your soul [Sonnet of the Damned]
Pre-Reqs: Make them remember far off days
Your undead control pool is multiplied by the number of Sonnet of the Damned feats you possess

Wash away their strange malaise [Sonnet of the Damned]
Pre-Reqs: Make them fear your soul
Resurrect Undead as touch attack 1/day per Sonnet of the Damned feat you possess

Make those spirits mighty, whole [Sonnet of the Damned]
Pre-Reqs: Wash away their strange malaise
Benefit: You gain 1 Corpsecrafter Feat per two Sonnet of the Damned feats you possess

One day you'll join us [Sonnet of the Damned]
Pre-Reqs: Make those spirits mighty, whole
Benefit: You gain the Lich template

In our ageless books [Sonnet of the Damned]
Pre-Reqs: One day you'll join us
Benefit: You gain the Spellstiched Template

In sweet Erebus [Sonnet of the Damned]
Pre-Reqs: In our ageless books
Benefit: You gain the Half-Fiend or Half Celestial Template

You'll gaze at home with longing looks [Sonnet of the Damned]
Pre-Reqs: In sweet Erebus
Benefit: Planeshift 1/day per Sonnet of the Damned feat you possess

And you'll remember life one day [Sonnet of the Damned]
Pre-Reqs: You'll gaze at home with longing looks
Benefit: Treated as living when advantageous

And to you the dead will pray [Sonnet of the Damned]
Pre-Reqs: You'll remember life one day
Benefit: Gain Divine Rank 0

Eldan
2013-05-15, 11:36 AM
There was once a feat from homebrew
The power of which terribly blew
It had no effect
That I could detect
And its title was "You get Plus Two"


Yeah, I tried. Couldn't come up with anything.

Rephath
2013-05-15, 01:28 PM
GROIN KICK OF FOCUS DISRUPTION

When playing a rogue or a monk
You kick a warlock in the junk
Can't cast any spelling
With all of the swelling
And now he is stuck in a funk

MaloneyShaun
2013-05-16, 01:45 AM
Yup I am too agree with that it will look damn good.:smile:

AttilaTheGeek
2013-05-16, 09:02 AM
Fighters get to fly
Prerequisite: must have BAB 5 (has to be read as "baab five")
Cast Fly three times a day.

Giving iambic pentameter a try:
The lower tier's lament
"I hit it with my sword again", he said
But then the wizard casts a deadly spell
The Balor fails its save, its mind controlled
The fighter obsoleted yet again

Worth adding another verse?

smasher0404
2013-05-17, 10:50 PM
Feat of Ever Dodging
Prerequisites: Dex 16 +
You gain evasion

Gildedragon
2013-05-18, 01:32 AM
Glide: cantrip. one day.
1 or 2' you can float
Rather than walk (V)

MrLemon
2013-05-18, 04:50 AM
As Lightning strikes
Two swords and mighty spells
No familiar.

Couldn't resist :smallbiggrin:

Alternatively, the western version in iambic pentameter

Two swords he wields with skill and awesome might
With magic spells and arcane pow'r he fights
High BAB, high saves, yet still he doth lament
No Specialty he has, no tiny wizard friend

Glimbur
2013-05-18, 07:39 AM
There once was an elf sorely pressed
Orcs burning his wood made him stressed
So he took up a whip
And with a magical grip
Made it tie with vines, end of quest

or

+1 equivalent enchantment, whips only, on hit make grapple check using your Dex instead of Str. Success means target is rooted in place for one round.