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Kaeso
2013-05-25, 04:48 PM
I'm in a little bit of a pickle, and I'd like to ask you guys for a bit of (rude) advice on a matter I'm struggling with right now.

So I'm currently in a PbP game (I usually play PbP, I know nobody in real life who plays DnD) and while I'm used to PbP games, this particular game got slow rather fast (while I'm not the guy who prefers rollplay over roleplay, we've been playing for literally months without a single encounter, or even a big story-related event). I actually have half a mind to pull out of the game, but I'm wondering how I should do this. If I pull out, it's kind of a punch to the face of the DM and I poop the party for the rest of the group. On top of that, it might give me a reputation as a guy who's prone to pulling out on the PbP community I use.

I'd just like to know what would be a good way to pull out without insulting anybody and doing this as gently as possible. Perhaps anybody who has experience with a comparable scenario could give some advice?

Mr Beer
2013-05-25, 05:09 PM
I'd just like to know what would be a good way to pull out without insulting anybody and doing this as gently as possible.

If you don't want to risk hurting anyone's feelings, lie and invent other commitments.

Archmage1
2013-05-25, 05:13 PM
You could also just post OOC that you are thinking about leaving, and why. They may do something about it.

Grinner
2013-05-25, 05:26 PM
PbP's usually fall apart quickly. I'm surprised your group has made it more than a month.

If you decide to leave, it won't be totally unexpected (especially now that you've posted your intent in a highly visible location). While it's a bit rude, you're certainly not going to invoke the undying wrath of the forum.

Slipperychicken
2013-05-25, 05:29 PM
Expanding on Archmage1's post:

You could send an email/post expressing why you don't feel like this game is for you (in this case, not enough encounters/plot points, moving too slowly). They can continue playing, you wish them the best, and maybe you could play a different campaign together, but you feel it would be best to drop out of this game.

BWR
2013-05-25, 05:37 PM
PbP's usually fall apart quickly. I'm surprised your group has made it more than a month.


You should see the L5R pbps my gf plays. They may have some people fall off, but the games usually a month or two and some have no combat at all (apart from a duel or two).
It's all in what the story is and what the players invest in it. If you go into the games with different expectations, you might end up with something you don't like.
Is this a problem with the DM not doing a good job with the pbp, or is it just that there isn't as much action as you'd like?
The two are not the same, nor mutually exclusive.

In any case, my advice is the same I give to everyone when they ask for help with a group: sit down and talk over with the group. Sure, the DM might get a bit butt-huirt that you don't like his game, but most people understand that there are two sides to gaming, and try to accomodate their players to a certain degree. If everyone else is having a good time and you are not, perhaps you should just admit that what they do is not what you like, and pull out.

Don't lie about it.

If you do, you'll probably be invited to later pbps and just have to bull**** your way out of them. If you state beforehand what you want, the greater the chances of you getting what you want, and you won't be wasting people's time.

Slipperychicken
2013-05-25, 05:42 PM
Sure, the DM might get a bit butt-huirt that you don't like his game,


He's (probably) an adult. He can deal with you not liking his game. You're not responsible for his emotions.

Mastikator
2013-05-25, 05:56 PM
"Guys, this game is really slowing down, can we maybe pick up the pace? If not then I need to leave".

Sutremaine
2013-05-25, 06:58 PM
"Guys, this game is really slowing down, can we maybe pick up the pace? If not then I need to leave".
Yeah, pretty much this. If you'd like to pick up the pace and not be twiddling your thumbs, say something. Maybe everyone else wants a bit of 'tell not show' just to get to the next lead / plot point / interesting thing to react to.

SiuiS
2013-05-26, 01:37 AM
You could also just post OOC that you are thinking about leaving, and why. They may do something about it.


You should see the L5R pbps my gf plays. They may have some people fall off, but the games usually a month or two and some have no combat at all (apart from a duel or two).
It's all in what the story is and what the players invest in it. If you go into the games with different expectations, you might end up with something you don't like.
Is this a problem with the DM not doing a good job with the pbp, or is it just that there isn't as much action as you'd like?
The two are not the same, nor mutually exclusive.

In any case, my advice is the same I give to everyone when they ask for help with a group: sit down and talk over with the group. Sure, the DM might get a bit butt-huirt that you don't like his game, but most people understand that there are two sides to gaming, and try to accomodate their players to a certain degree. If everyone else is having a good time and you are not, perhaps you should just admit that what they do is not what you like, and pull out.

Don't lie about it.

If you do, you'll probably be invited to later pbps and just have to bull**** your way out of them. If you state beforehand what you want, the greater the chances of you getting what you want, and you won't be wasting people's time.

All these.

Also, try to feel games out before joining. Expectations can ruin a lot if they dot match up across players.

atomicpenguin
2013-05-26, 10:48 AM
I know that this isn't helping, but I'd just like to point out that that is one of the funniest titles for a thread on this forum I've seen in a while.

Zerter
2013-05-26, 10:52 AM
If you live in the general area of Tilburg, you could join the group I play with and leave PbP alltogether.

The Fury
2013-05-26, 02:50 PM
Have you discussed this with the DM via PM or e-mail? I'd try making your issues with the game known to the DM and see if you can't reach some kind of agreement before you up and quit. If an agreement can't be reached, of course by all means quit.


I know that this isn't helping, but I'd just like to point out that that is one of the funniest titles for a thread on this forum I've seen in a while.

Heheh. Yeah, well I wasn't gonna say anything. But yeah.

Ozfer
2013-05-26, 08:43 PM
If you don't want to risk hurting anyone's feelings, lie and invent other commitments.

Despite what most ethical and moral lessons will teach you, lying can be an absolutely good thing to do :smallwink:. If you don't lie, you hurt feelings.

Seharvepernfan
2013-05-26, 09:41 PM
How do I pull out?

It's hard, isn't it?
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHHHH DOUBLE [email protected][email protected]#!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE YOU AT WHERE YOU [email protected]?!!!
Honesty is the best solution here. Just tell them your reasons. The DM may be unaware of the problem, and he may be willing to amend it. Your reputation will be worse if you just up and leave without any reason (or a bull**** one).

Mr Beer
2013-05-26, 09:56 PM
Despite what most ethical and moral lessons will teach you, lying can be an absolutely good thing to do :smallwink:. If you don't lie, you hurt feelings.

Yeah, pretty much. Don't get me wrong, it's fine to say "Nothing is happening Mr DM, I'm getting bored here and thinking about leaving."

But OP's primary concern seems to be, no hurt feelings. If that's the most important thing, then lie. I don't see this as a problem.

BWR
2013-05-27, 03:46 AM
I still think it's a bad idea to lie, even if you hurt the GM's feelings.
As a GM I've had players pull out because they didn't like the game, or tell me straight up (esp. my girlfriend when she has been displeased) that the game isn't fun. Sure, it sucks to be told I screwed up but since my job as a GM is to make the game fun for all my players, I have to take their desires into account, not just my own.
In short, their desires are more important than mine. It's nice to try something new, it's nice to do what you want to and hopefully have people like it, but if the players are not having fun, the entire game just becomes your little power play.
As a player it's also a good thing to play something that isn't quite up your alley just to try something new or let the GM/other players do something they like too. But if it gets to the point that you feel game time is wasted time, be honest about your problems and see if you can fix them without having to pull out of game and lie.

Souju
2013-05-27, 04:26 AM
If it's an issue, bring it up. You may not be the only one that feels it's an issue.
Going months without plot progression would make me go stark raving mad too.
Well, I'm already stark raving mad...but yeah.

Seharvepernfan
2013-05-27, 09:10 AM
But OP's primary concern seems to be, no hurt feelings. If that's the most important thing, then lie. I don't see this as a problem.

People do this to me, and I hate it. I want honesty, not feelings-protecting lies.

Stormageddon
2013-05-27, 09:24 AM
"how do I pull out?"

That's what he said!

SiuiS
2013-05-27, 11:15 AM
"how do I pull out?"

That's what he said!

"it's what it says on the tin, you sot!"

And then you roll the opening sequence, go to commercial, and come back t a couple who really shouldn't be parents. It's every sitcom ever!



on topic, I don't think lying is the way to go. Ever. What you save in immediate hurt feeling, you pay in long term resentment, not helping someone grow out of the problem, and not dealing with the problem so much as abandoning it for someone else to deal with.

Slipperychicken
2013-05-27, 12:17 PM
on topic, I don't think lying is the way to go. Ever. What you save in immediate hurt feeling, you pay in long term resentment, not helping someone grow out of the problem, and not dealing with the problem so much as abandoning it for someone else to deal with.

As a person who values honesty, it's infinitely worse when people lie to me or deceive me. People have a right to the truth, and who are you to deny them? Do you want people to feed you lies whenever it's convenient for them?

It shows disrespect; as though the liar thinks I'm some kind of child who "can't handle the truth" (spoiler: I can handle the truth). Either that, or it shows the liar's own weakness in being unable to speak his mind. It just makes me feel disgust toward the liar.

Jay R
2013-05-27, 08:46 PM
Despite what most ethical and moral lessons will teach you, lying can be an absolutely good thing to do :smallwink:. If you don't lie, you hurt feelings.

You're confusing lying with withholding information. You don't hurt feelings by not lying; you hurt them by telling unhelpful truths.

Always tell the truth, but don't always be telling it.

TuggyNE
2013-05-27, 09:07 PM
You're confusing lying with withholding information. You don't hurt feelings by not lying; you hurt them by telling unhelpful truths.

Always tell the truth, but don't always be telling it.

Quoted, because it's not always someone hits a DC 20 Wis check in a forum post.