1001 things I am not allowed to to in DnD anymore.

[bcg737]

What things did your DM veto?

#1) I cannot gain XP from creatively using the bad guy as a two handed weapon
#2) I cannot start the game married to the hot rouge without her consent
#3) I cannot say an action is realistic because "I saw it on Dragon Ball Z once"
#4) Not allowed to have "nudist" as a character trait
#5) I cannot make the bad guy into beef jerky and eat him while keeping my lawful good alignment

[Xervous]

#6 side discussions, this was counter vetoed a minute later when the DM brought up mass effect.

[LanSlyde]

Not allowed to DMM persist Visage of the Deity, Stone Body, and Righteous Might and charge into the opposing army screaming "Bite my glorious golden ass!"

[bcg737]

#8) Not allowed to grapple a baby

[Malroth]

9) not allowed to be a baby playing a grappler build

[Rakoa]

10. I am not allowed to use the plot hook of the King's horrible secret to blackmail the crap out of him and shatter WBL.

[Regitnui]

#11: I am not allowed to use our Warforged fighter as an anchor.

#12: Throwing the halfling is not a valid ranged attack.

#13: Female PCs' ample bosoms are not proof that gravity is lower.

#14: I am forbidden from asking aforesaid female PCs to do Jump checks in place of Diplomacy.

#15: Profession (gigolo) is not a valid skill.

#16: I may no longer refer to my Wand of Fireball as my 'boomstick'.

#17: My warforged PC may not have the battlecry, "Kiss my shiny metal ass." due to copyright infringements.

[kellbyb]

18. I am not allowed to use the spell gate in any form.

[AuraTwilight]

19. I am not allowed to use the Anal Circumference Table from FATAL to calculate how much my character can make off of Profession (Streetwalking).

...Someone actually did this.

[Squirrel_Dude]

20. We are not allowed to tip the guard for harassing another player's female PC.
21. We are no longer allowed to sign the sleeping halfling into a daycare run by a lawful evil orc woman.

[bcg737]

22) "Do something big enough to force the DM to redraw his world map" is not the goal of this campaign

[Heliomance]

23) I am not allowed to make duplicate threads

[TuggyNE]

23) I am not allowed to make duplicate threads

That's actually #0, isn't it? And here I was gonna say "I am not allowed to misspell 'do' in the title."

[Jett Midknight]

24. You are not to throw the orphan baby into a river, nor are you allowed to carve/brand symbols of your god into its forehead or eat it.
25. You are not allowed to make an Intimidate check against the level 15 paladin that just saved your level 1 butts from an orc platoon.

[Myrddin0001]

As none of these are in blue I assume that you're all serious and I'm just here to say ya'll must play some boring games! lol

Seriously. Throwing a dagger wielding halfling, using friends as anchors, using BBEG as a weapon to slay his own minions, and prostitution are all some of the most frequently used tactics in any given game!!!!!!!

Your DM might as well say "hey, don't be creative or have fun"

lol sillies

[Turtlefun]

22) "Do something big enough to force the DM to redraw his world map" is not the goal of this campaign


This is my favorite, haha

[The Redwolf]

26. I may not try to be the cause of the single greatest evil to ever blight the land.

[gurgleflep]

27.) I can no longer jump out of a tree so that I can land on a dire wolf in an attempt to use it as a mount.
28.) I can't throw the halfling at the dragon so that the party and myself can escape.

[ShneekeyTheLost]

#29: Not allowed to ruin eight hours of the GM's planning with a simple Sense Motive check.

#30: Not allowed to call the GM on railroading the plot

#31: The Bantha Shuffle is not an appropriate tavern song for a midevil fantasy setting.

#32: Not allowed to use TO builds in a game

#32a: Not allowed to make TO builds and submit them AFTER playing them in a game

[Ravens_cry]

#33: Not allowed, after DM describes dead combatants as "bled out", to declare them to be kosher.

[Kazuel]

34 I'm not allowed to kill the GM's wife...in game.

[GreenETC]

#35. I am not allowed to suggest a party-mate rides the Hydra again, since the grappling incedent.
#36. I am not allowed to use the same gravely voice for all Dwarf/Giant/Gruff Men in my campaigns.
#37. I am not allowed to suggest more ridiculous code names for the party Bard, Hulk Hogan and Chris Angel were enough.
#38. I am not allowed to show up to a level 3 anything goes game as a Aeshkrau Half-Minotaur Illumian Duskblade with a Spiked Chain.
#39. I am not allowed to have my full WBL and access to the Magic Item Compendium at the same time.

[hydraa]

#39. I am not allowed to have my full WBL and access to the Magic Item Compendium at the same time.
39a. with my artificier cohort

[sabelo2000]

#40. No part of the BBEG is edible.

[Malroth]

40a) Not even if he fails his save vs the baleful polymorph that turned him into a chicken

[Jett Midknight]

41. You are not allowed to kill a simple purse snatcher after you have knocked him unconscious

[gurgleflep]

42.) My (obese) half-ogre barbarian can no longer sit on people while singing "Pop goes the weasel!"

[Jett Midknight]

43. The entire party is not allowed to hide in a bag of holding while the vampire holds the bag and flies us up the mountain to avoid an entire dungeon.

[Sylthia]

44. I am not allowed to interrupt when another player is talking to his deity.

[King Ri-Ri]

#45 I can't play "bang the hottest barmaid" without the barmaid's consent, especially if the barmaid is a PC in disguise

[King Ri-Ri]

#46 I'm not allowed to trick a PC that can change size to get in to a bottled that is fire trapped and then convince another PC to open it

[Squirrel_Dude]

#47 I will not run from a fight with mind snake swarms, and then trap them in the room with them.
#48 I will not trick a monk into eating a human chef pizza.

[King Ri-Ri]

#49. I am not allowed to wash acid off of someone by peeing on them
#50. I'm not allowed to try to get the Paladin drunk so I can bang her
#51. I'm not allowed to later bang the said Paladin when she is dead

[King Ri-Ri]

In my defence she said she would do me if we won...

[Trickquestion]

#52. I am not allowed to make strength checks to determine how much of a sentient being's head I can consume with one bite.

[Jack_Simth]

I should remember to never ever let Jack play a caster.

- I think that one speaks for itself.

[AzureNightshade]

#54 I'm no longer allowed to cast web or summon fiendish crocodiles (True story)
#55 Casting Glitterdust focused on the parties vampire battle sorcerer is similarly prohibited.

[luthais]

#56: Using the gnome cleric as ballista ammo is not allowed... even though he wanted to.

[gurgleflep]

57.) My goblin ninja is no longer allowed to be the chef, regardless of profession or craft skills.

[TuggyNE]

In my defence[…]

58. I am not allowed to try to defend myself anymore. The others don't want to hear it.

[Norin]

#59 - No more rods of wonder. :smalleek:

[Azoth]

#60) I am no longer allowed to trick the party into ICly playing poker with a Deck of Many Things.

[Heliomance]

Seriously, guys. There's one of these already, in the general roleplaying games board. Go post there, it needs more love!

[Ignominia]

#61 - "Im not allowed to throw the Halfling down a dungeon corridor as an attempt to search for traps..."

[Kazuel]

62: I'm not allowed to use prisoners as disposable trap detectors.

[King Ri-Ri]

62: I'm not allowed to use prisoners as disposable trap detectors

why didn't I every think of that?

[Callin]

63.) As a DM I am no longer allowed to have encounters on the water.

[Cybrin]

64) I may not use the character sheet for PunPun even if I rename it.

[Arbane]

62: I'm not allowed to use prisoners as disposable trap detectors.

62a: Cattle stampedes are not the solution to all problems.

65: No characters with a race/class combination that can't fit on one line of text.

Using the smallest font available is no excuse.

[Frosty]

#12: Throwing the halfling is not a valid ranged attack.
Actually, it IS, if you have the Fling Ally feat from Races of Stone :smallamused:
http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/ros_gallery/83327.jpg

[Gwazi Magnum]

#66: You are not allowed to use strength checks to break down vault doors and castle walls.

#67: Not allowed to have pernament perfect flight with no drawbacks on a PC

#68: You are not allowed to juggle town guards while taking their gold pouches out of their pockets for fun

#69: You are not allowed to unconsentualy produce a campaigns villain with the teams Cleric

#70: Not allowed to throw Wargs into magical barriers to test them

#71: You are not allowed to have the ability to time travel

#72: Not allowed to have a PC coup de grace another PC

#73: You may not pick up the team druid while wild shaped as a mouse and dangle her over your mouth threatening to eat her.

#74: Not allowed to use the DM's ritual spell booster to blow up a city with fireballs.

#75: Not allowed to send a Red Dragon after a level 3 party

#76: Not allowed to kill said Dragon by feeding him horses filled with explosive arrows.

[Jett Midknight]

#76: Not allowed to kill said Dragon by feeding him horses filled with explosive arrows.

My party once killed a dragon by using illusion spells to make barrels of gunpowder looks like cattle.

#77. I am not allowed to have every single encounter take place on top of a hill

[gurgleflep]

78.) I am not allowed to create a potion of "never ending beard growth" and give it to the dwarf. Even if I have a potion that'll stop it - he won't take it.

Best campaign ever, that one!

[Hamste]

79) I am not allowed to set myself on fire and attempt a grapple on every enemy to do damage to them (Even if I have fire resistance).

80) I am not allowed to light a fire "to see" in an oil trap.

[GutterFace]

#81 I am not allowed to put a magical key into a pool of acid and watch pc's try and get it out

[dspeyer]

82) After the third time we destroy a city through carelessness, we may no longer return there
83) Nor may I ask the residents of the city to compare the destructions
84) I may not recruit random encounters to join the party

[angry_bear]

85) I am not allowed to travel back in time, and bribe other inmates to go full Adebisi on another PC who was doing time prior to joining the party.

[Humble Master]

86) My party is not allowed to have an Extendable Pole (actual item) for any reason.

87) As a DM I am not allow to play 'Tucker's Mind Flayers' or 'Tucker's Etherguants'

[Malroth]

88) Permanent, Invisible spell, Fell animate, energy substitute (cold) walls of fire are fine for my evil necromancer tower but are not appropriate for the city main street.

89) A shop sign is no longer an appropriate target for Illusionary script, neither is my robes, my hat, My cat, A royal proclamation, or any form of ID

[Sugashane]

90) Summoning a celestial elephant at 250 feet above an enemy being grappled is not allowed to get the damage ruling from the Hulking Hurler damage chart.

91) There is no monk variant that specializes in “Masturbatory Kung Fu.” Nor can it be taken as a “Perform” skill, as it was awkward to make people fanatical about me just by being “very skilled.”

92) If reincarnated as a monkey, Flung Poo cannot get improved by feats such as “Improved Natural Attack”, “Improved Critical”, etc.

93) Alchemy will not be used to “sell rocks” again.

94) Not allowed to play a player who is lactose intolerant, as the rogues all have terrible senses of humor. Those pranks, for those who care, add a +10 bonus to those who track while the lactose is in your system.

95) Cannot homebrew a lute to be a banjo again, regardless if the NPCs have a pretty mouth or not.

96) If a riding dog is a companion or an animal companion is a lion, do not preface their species with “Snoop.”

[Gwazi Magnum]

My party once killed a dragon by using illusion spells to make barrels of gunpowder looks like cattle.l

Clever! XD

#97 You are not allowed to pour an odd potion/drug into a towns water supply to see "If the fish get high"

#98 You are not allowed to pour said subtance into said water supply to make the town high

#99 You are not allowed to set a town on fire because "You were curious".
#99a. Especially if it's the same town you broke number 97 & 98 with

#100 You are not allowed to pillage/loot said town during the fire for all their gold and valuables.

#101 You are not allowed to attempt to extort a towns 50 gold job into paying you over 1000 platnium pieces.

#102 When 101 unavoidably fails, you are not allowed to return later and rob the towns vault (entire gold supply) blind.

[Malroth]

103) If i attempt 102 once and fail I should not be surprised i find 100000 castings of explosives runes in the vault if i succeed in my second attempt.

[Immabozo]

#12: Throwing the halfling is not a valid ranged attack.

I must disagree with this point. Halflings are 40-45 pound objects. War Hulks can throw rocks up to 50 pounds for so much damage.

Flesh to stone turns them into stones.

Your halfling just became a lethal projectile!

[Sugashane]

I must disagree with this point. Halflings are 40-45 pound objects. War Hulks can throw rocks up to 50 pounds for so much damage.

Flesh to stone turns them into stones.

Your halfling just became a lethal projectile!

If they are covered in something sharp they do double damage as well!

[gurgleflep]

104.) I am no longer allowed to give hugs while wearing spiked armor.

[Azoth]

105) I am no longer allowed to play kleptomaniacs

106) I am not allowed to keep an accurate log of all things stolen, and improvise solutions to problems using a fish bowl, length of twine, crowbar, and necklace of fireballs.

107) I am not allowed to sing WoW parodies for my perform oratory checks.

108) I am not allowed any adhesive substance...ever...under any circumstance

109) I am not allowed to use corpses/enemies/allies/civilians as improvised tower shields

110) I am not allowed lubricants of any kind.

111) I am not allowed to purchase /manufacture anything cylidrical

112) I am not allowed near anything that can be used to cause an explosion

113) I am not allowed to pull levers/push buttons/ or do anything else that may activate anything.

[Malroth]

114) Wishes for Ice assassin scrolls are now limited to creatures that actually exist that i've actually encountered that i can provide the sample ofIce assassin scrolls are now considered beyond the scope of the wish spell.

[alanek2002]

115) I may no longer acquire psionic minior creation in any way.
116) I may no longer use Fabricate to break the mundane items market.
117) My DM may no longer have ship to ship battles above level three, as combat takes half as long as finding rules for the ship and the damage they take.

[Ruethgar]

118) I may no longer use chaos shuffle with wealth feats.

[killem2]

119.) I'm fairly sure after this character dies, no one is going to be allowed to combine knockback and dungeoncrasher again LOL.

[Sugashane]

105) I am no longer allowed to play kleptomaniacs

106) I am not allowed to keep an accurate log of all things stolen, and improvise solutions to problems using a fish bowl, length of twine, crowbar, and necklace of fireballs.

107) I am not allowed to sing WoW parodies for my perform oratory checks.

108) I am not allowed any adhesive substance...ever...under any circumstance

109) I am not allowed to use corpses/enemies/allies/civilians as improvised tower shields

110) I am not allowed lubricants of any kind.

111) I am not allowed to purchase /manufacture anything cylidrical

112) I am not allowed near anything that can be used to cause an explosion

113) I am not allowed to pull levers/push buttons/ or do anything else that may activate anything.


Water based lubricants? Friend or foe? Doesn't matter, I cast grease. :smallsmile:

[Gwazi Magnum]

120) I am not allowed to climb and/or break down any bookshelves I see

121) I am not allowed to open any random red books I find

122) Especially when said red books turn out to summon hostile undead

[Immabozo]

123. I am no longer allowed to put on unidentified magic items just to "see what happens"

[Cybrin]

124. I am not allowed to drink the potion labeled anecdote from a random wizard on the side of the road. my character was a frog instead of a Kobold for the rest of the session...

[Immabozo]

124. I am not allowed to drink the potion labeled anecdote from a random wizard on the side of the road. my character was a frog instead of a Kobald for the rest of the session...

you're right, that was quite an anecdote. I bet the rest of that anecdote is pretty funny.

EDIT: Is a Kobald an aging, balding Kobold?

[Vellus]

125. I am not allowed to gain the fire subtype with a spell
126. I am not allowed to feign surprise when lower level characters get more xp than me

edit: oops this isn't my account...

[Stea1k]

127. I am not allowed to teleport into a larger creature's stomach in order to dodge all attacks and kill it from the inside.

[Agent 451]

105) I am no longer allowed to play kleptomaniacs


105. a) Thou stalt not suffer a Kender to live!

[NeoPhoenix0]

#128) I am not allowed to derail the story by derailing an actual train, it would reduce the novelty for the player that did.
#129) I am not allowed to play a sane character in a lovecraftian campaign without going insane.
#130) You are not allowed to eat a Dragon PAO into a muffin without fatal consequences.
#131) I am not allowed to say it's a bad idea unless i am going to do it anyway and somehow survive the nearly guaranteed suicide. (haven't had a character die yet, close but not quite)
#132) I am not allowed to carry explosive runes unless it is a small cleary defined amount.
#133) I am not allowed to talk about my theoretical super arrows in front of the DM without him using some ideas against us.


23) I am not allowed to make duplicate threads

This isn't a duplicate thread, it is a subtopic.

[ThatGuyOvaThere]

#134- I'm not allowed to open the wizards backpack, while he is asleep, transform into a cat move a mysterious scroll out of the bag and read it. Then make a deal with the devil I summoned.

#135-I am not allowed to request the lernaen template, go to a crazy kabalist, and expect not to wake up being deformed.

#136- I am nit allowed to use the internet when the giant chicken asks a common riddle, en-less I want an experience penalty for cheating.

#137- I am not allowed to play a cleric starting at 15th level, en-less I want to get eaten by the dragon thrice times.

#138- I am not allowed to obtain the un-dead leadership feat and then by a mine-shaft

[TuggyNE]

This isn't a duplicate thread, it is a subtopic.

What's the difference?

[NeoPhoenix0]

The subject matter is narrower. This is only dnd while that thread doesn't directly specify a single roleplaying game. Everything in this thread could go in that thread, but a lot more people who spend more of their time dnd section will notice this thread.

[Arcanist]

139) When my DM says "Go crazy", I am not allowed to play a Kobold.
139a) Especially with skill focus (Knowledge: The Planes).
139b) All Int scores must be below 10.
139c) Saying "Pazuzu" three times is right out.
139d) My characters may not have a mouth.

[Immabozo]

139) When my DM says "Go crazy", I am not allowed to play a Kobold.
139a) Especially with skill focus (Knowledge: The Planes).
139b) All Int scores must be below 10.
139c) Saying "Pazuzu" three times is right out.
139d) My characters may not have a mouth.

I have to ask... why?

[CRtwenty]

I have to ask... why?

Maybe saying his name allows you to summon his avatar like Hastur? I know I'd be a little peeved if the Demon Prince of Air suddenly appeared next to me cause my party member couldn't keep his mouth shut.

[Arcanist]

I have to ask... why?

"I wish for a Candle of Invocation", it is step one in the Pun-Pun ascension scheme :smalltongue:

EDIT: OH! I thought you knew about the other stuff... Yeah, the Fiendish Codex details summoning Pazuzu to grant you a wish if you are not Chaotic Evil (i.e. Lawful Good for 3 wishes...)

[Kazuel]

140: I'm not allowed to refer to the townsfolk as "unharvested Xp"

[LanSlyde]

141) I may not create a character who can easily hit the DC 80 Escape Artist check and then name her the Ravaging Rectal Raptor solely for the purpose of terrorizing the homophobic misogynistic player in my group.

142) I may not place a Rod of Wonder inside a rubberized equine phallus and name it the Alchemical Applicator.

143) If one and two are ignored, I must for the sake of comedy poke everything with it.

[Humble Master]

144) I am not allowed to go back in time to the moment before the big bang and cast Time Stop, put the big bang in a bag of holding and then put that bag in another bag of holding.

[Jigokuro]

145) I'm not allowed to carry a bag of rats for any reason.

146) I am allowed to create an army of fanatically loyal kobolds by promising to PAO them into true dragons. However, I cannot pay them upfront, so to speak, then use my army of still loyal, now true dragons to carry a flying fortress and take over everything.
146a) The army of kobolds will never be large enough to allow "The Dragon Forger" to ascend to godhood.

[Shining Wrath]

145) I may not ask the Artificer to make my Warforged anatomically correct
145a) Not even in a party with 5 females and one LG male
146) I may not use Wish to ask for a more powerful version of Gate
147) I may not have a Tarrasque as an animal companion for my druid
148) I may not use Baleful Polymorph to turn the NPC with a wool allergy into a sheep

[Azoth]

146) I am not allowed access to the Book of Nymphology or the Book of Erotic Fantasy under any circumstances ESPECIALLLY if I am playing a spellcaster of any kind.

[Immabozo]

"I wish for a Candle of Invocation", it is step one in the Pun-Pun ascension scheme :smalltongue:

EDIT: OH! I thought you knew about the other stuff... Yeah, the Fiendish Codex details summoning Pazuzu to grant you a wish if you are not Chaotic Evil (i.e. Lawful Good for 3 wishes...)

Interesting, thanks

[Malroth]

146a) I also may not use gate to ask for a stronger version of wish

[ksbsnowowl]

149) After last night, I may never place my PC's against a puzzle-solving situation again. They will not use spells to probe the situation and learn what might solve the puzzle; they will jump in head-long and kill their characters after two years of game play.

[my13]

i am no longer allowed to let my druid baleful polymorph my husbands character in the first round of an arena fight.

[NeoPhoenix0]

#151) I am not allowed to solve a situation with a spell if it takes more than 5 minutes to explain how i can do it and someone has another way to do it.

[Gwazi Magnum]

Note: The most recent is supposed to be #153 (seriously guys, pay attention to previous posts). So the next post adding to the list should start at #154.



#133) I am not allowed to talk about my theoretical super arrows in front of the DM without him using some ideas against us.

I hate DM's like that. They by just stealing players ideas and using them against them you not only kill creativity because you don't want the DM to use it as a weapon, but you get the rest of the team mad at you for 'giving the DM ideas'.

Note: Speaking from experience here.


141) I may not create a character who can easily hit the DC 80 Escape Artist check and then name her the Ravaging Rectal Raptor solely for the purpose of terrorizing the homophobic misogynistic player in my group.


If the persons a Homophobe, I would say terrorizing them is fair game.

[NeoPhoenix0]

I hate DM's like that. They by just stealing players ideas and using them against them you not only kill creativity because you don't want the DM to use it as a weapon, but you get the rest of the team mad at you for 'giving the DM ideas'.

Strangely enough we had a blast as the enemy destroyed the city around us. He had scaled the weapon so that we were very unlikely to be directly targeted. Also he used cannonballs not arrows and the rest of the adventure was original.

[Gwazi Magnum]

Strangely enough we had a blast as the enemy destroyed the city around us. He had scaled the weapon so that we were very unlikely to be directly targeted. Also he used cannonballs not arrows and the rest of the adventure was original.

Maybe it's just the way my old DM does it then.

Plus yours scaled it so it wouldn't hurt you?
My old DM used it directly against us as if it was a competition.

[NeoPhoenix0]

it basically turned into a siege so a small amount of people wouldn't draw fire unless we were obvious or did something incredibly stupid like detonate the ammo.

It really comes down to how these ideas are implemented, but i am still wary about discussing such plans before i use them now.

edit: besides he doesn't want to start a competition because he knows i am capable of things he can't think of. he doesn't even want to taste the wrath of my 4 meteor swarm spells in one turn. (made simply to put the swarm in meteor swarm)

[buttcyst]

#154) I am not allowed to tie the high priest to a pillar in his own church and pour purple wyrm saliva on his feet.

# 155) I am no longer allowed to follow the story hook to their house, wait until night, tie her up and demand more information about irrelevant topics.

#156) I am no longer allowed to associate with giant owls.

# 157) I am no longer allowed to manipulate the monk using diplomacy into letting us use him as a battering ram

[buttcyst]

#158) I am not allowed to cast move earth on an ever shifting plane just to know where I am

[buttcyst]

#159) I am not allowed to feed the town vomit that I cast purify food and drink on

[Arcanist]

144) I am not allowed to go back in time to the moment before the big bang and cast Time Stop, put the big bang in a bag of holding and then put that bag in another bag of holding.

It's TIME LORD SCIENCE!

[Malroth]

160) I am no longer allowed to replace the fighter with 500gp worth of creatures purchaced from the local exotic beast trainer even if they do his job better and it does mean a better WBL split for everyone else.

[Zero grim]

161) if my plan references the slow suffocation rules in a combat setting then I'm not allowed to do it.

[Malroth]

162) Neutronium is not a "plant based material" so is not a valid target for psionic minor creation

[ddude987]

163) Thou shalt not say quirble muffin

[gurgleflep]

163) Thou shalt not say quirble muffin

Quirble muffin! - Credit to Xervous. Ha, I credited you!

164.) I, as a DM, may not reference anything from Lord of the Rings or Star Wars. It leads to TPK :smallamused:

[Xervous]

Hey, you both owe me a 5 cent royalty for that, Quirblemuffin™ is patented.
jk, but really, credit where it is due

99% of things that can be solved with neutronium can be solved with the creation of extremely dense plant matter that is on the verge of becoming a singularity.

[gurgleflep]

Hey, you both owe me a 5 cent royalty for that, Quirblemuffin™ is patented.
jk, but really, credit where it is due

99% of things that can be solved with neutronium can be solved with the creation of extremely dense plant matter that is on the verge of becoming a singularity.

Before today, I'd never heard of it :smalltongue:

165.) I may not tack on a template each level so I don't have to use class levels.
165.a.) Even if the idea of said beastie's absolutely friggin' awesome.

[ddude987]

Hey, you both owe me a 5 cent royalty for that, Quirblemuffin™ is patented.
jk, but really, credit where it is due

99% of things that can be solved with neutronium can be solved with the creation of extremely dense plant matter that is on the verge of becoming a singularity.

Hey I was the reason querblemuffins exist!!!! I get part of those royalties

[Vorthas]

166) Absolutely NO enthusiastic walks through the woods.

[Xervous]

Hey I was the reason querblemuffins exist!!!! I get part of those royalties

Okay, we'll split it evenly, except you're the player and I'm the DM.

Yeah, you round down.

167: carry around a bottle of ketchup as a dragon... waiting for the perfect time to dine.

[NeoPhoenix0]

166) Absolutely NO enthusiastic walks through the woods.

But i love enthusiastic walks through woods, especially at night during a full moon.

[ddude987]

Okay, we'll split it evenly, except you're the player and I'm the DM.

Yeah, you round down.


I guess its a good thing I can sell all of these salt statues that look like cows then.

[NeoPhoenix0]

#168) I am not allowed to blame the hobgoblin for my serial arson even though i didn't know i could start fires with magic until he refused to believe i couldn't light a fire.

[keen320]

#169: After killing a pair of friendly Giant Owls and taking their eggs to sell, I am not allowed to use their feathers as padding for the sack. Even if I point out that "this way they'll be protecting their young even in death!"
#170: Especially not in front of the Druid.
#171: I may not later use the severed wing from a Giant Owl as a 10ft pole. Especially if I already have one.

[Gwazi Magnum]

#169: After killing a pair of friendly Giant Owls and taking their eggs to sell, I am not allowed to use their feathers as padding for the sack. Even if I point out that "this way they'll be protecting their young even in death!"
#170: Especially not in front of the Druid.
#171: I may not later use the severed wing from a Giant Owl as a 10ft pole. Especially if I already have one.

I don't see why the Druid should care.

Animals die all the time, that's Nature.
And druids still wear leather armor and such which is made from animals so it's not like their beyond killing animals and using their remains themselves.

[NeoPhoenix0]

From what I know of druids it seems it would actually be an insult to not use every part of a dead animal. Kinda like Native Americans.

[Gwazi Magnum]

From what I know of druids it seems it would actually be an insult to not use every part of a dead animal. Kinda like Native Americans.

Exactly!

They're all about preserving nature and living by it.

Hell, I can easily see a bunch of Vegans and Environmentalist's hating Druids.

Vegans = Don't eat animals
Druids = Hunt, eat, kill, skin, wear animals

Environmentalist's = Don't harm trees for wood, hates seeing anything in nature harmed

Druids = Will preserve nature but has no issue with cutting down some tree's if the wood is needed. As long as it's

a) Replanted

or

b) Not harming the forest really at all

[Emperor Tippy]

172) I may not turn Great Wyrm Red dragons into what are effectively slotless minor artifacts that render me totally immune to hostile magic without interfering with my own spell casting (along with all sorts of other abilities).

[Sith_Happens]

172) I may not turn Great Wyrm Red dragons into what are effectively slotless minor artifacts that render me totally immune to hostile magic without interfering with my own spell casting (along with all sorts of other abilities).

Something tells me that Haunt Shift is involved here...

[Emperor Tippy]

Something tells me that Haunt Shift is involved here...

Nope. And it's technically mostly doable SRD only (although one non SRD feat makes it so much better).

[Arcanist]

172) I may not turn Great Wyrm Red dragons into what are effectively slotless minor artifacts that render me totally immune to hostile magic without interfering with my own spell casting (along with all sorts of other abilities).

There is a story here... :smallconfused:

[Hamste]

I am sensing the story involves ice assassin

[TuggyNE]

I am sensing the story involves ice assassin

If it's SRD + non-core feat, then (gasp!) it doesn't.

Simulacrum, though, is still fair game. :smallamused:

[Norin]

There is a story here... :smallconfused:

In for the story too!
*brings out some popcorn and puts on an eager face*

[Sith_Happens]

If not Haunt Shift, then Polymorph Any Object.

[Shining Wrath]

172) I may not turn Great Wyrm Red dragons into what are effectively slotless minor artifacts that render me totally immune to hostile magic without interfering with my own spell casting (along with all sorts of other abilities).

You routinely make your DM cry, don't you? Or do a poor Hulking Hurler imitation with WotC products.

[TuggyNE]

You routinely make your DM cry, don't you? Or do a poor Hulking Hurler imitation with WotC products.

I think Tippy usually DMs, actually. Not sure if he makes his players cry or not though.

[Arcanist]

I think Tippy usually DMs, actually. Not sure if he makes his players cry or not though.

I'd imagine that if Tippy DM'd, his encounters would be played out intelligently using their full WBL to survive encounters and to fight another day. He'll with him, the weakest grunt might even survive 2 or three encounters and might drop a PC... I'd HATE to see how hardened his PC's actually are :smalleek:

[TuggyNE]

I'd imagine that if Tippy DM'd, his encounters would be played out intelligently using their full WBL to survive encounters and to fight another day. He'll with him, the weakest grunt might even survive 2 or three encounters and might drop a PC... I'd HATE to see how hardened his PC's actually are :smalleek:

Actually, I'm pretty sure they're designed to drop PCs, destroy gear, and so on; the trick is that his players have ways of handling death and equipment loss without long-term penalties.

Relatedly: combined use of disjunction nuking and wish gearing up seems to make adherence to WBL entirely optional and arbitrary. What's the justification for characters to stick with ordinary limits?

[Emperor Tippy]

Relatedly: combined use of disjunction nuking and wish gearing up seems to make adherence to WBL entirely optional and arbitrary. What's the justification for characters to stick with ordinary limits?

Magic items work by interacting with an individuals magical "spark" (which everyone has, it's basically the soul). The stronger your soul/spark (i.e. the higher your level), the greater the amount of magical power/effects it can support (such as from items). Interact with an item too much and keep it too close to you and it gets tagged on for lack of a better phrase. Go over your limit and you stand an ever increasing chance of randomly having your soul irrevocably shredded (1% over is no real chance of boom, 10% over is minimal chance, 30% over is immediate soul shredding).

So you can have up to WBL on your person/immediately available with no problem and have another fifty million GP worth of items sitting back in the party vault. It's just that if you want to use them then you have to go back, drop off your items, and get the other ones that you want. This is generally not feasible in the middle of encounters.

Optionally, items crafted by an individual only count half value against the wealth limit as they are so closely attuned to your soul (you having crafted them with bits of your soul/spark.

So try and break WBL too egregiously in my games and you die, that simple really.

[ksbsnowowl]

Magic items work by interacting with an individuals magical "spark" (which everyone has, it's basically the soul). The stronger your soul/spark (i.e. the higher your level), the greater the amount of magical power/effects it can support (such as from items). Interact with an item too much and keep it too close to you and it gets tagged on for lack of a better phrase. Go over your limit and you stand an ever increasing chance of randomly having your soul irrevocably shredded (1% over is no real chance of boom, 10% over is minimal chance, 30% over is immediate soul shredding).

So you can have up to WBL on your person/immediately available with no problem and have another fifty million GP worth of items sitting back in the party vault. It's just that if you want to use them then you have to go back, drop off your items, and get the other ones that you want. This is generally not feasible in the middle of encounters.

Optionally, items crafted by an individual only count half value against the wealth limit as they are so closely attuned to your soul (you having crafted them with bits of your soul/spark.

So try and break WBL too egregiously in my games and you die, that simple really.
That... is cool.

[Kazyan]

I could never survive Tippy at any level. As much as I hang out this board, I do things like play a straight-classes Binder with an agreement to not Zceryll and with my best trick being Imperious Command. Also constantly not having my stuff with me.

[Tragak]

174) I am not allowed to use "Stone to Flesh" to bring the non-lava part of a volcano to life, no matter how much XP I would get when it died* or how "important to arcane life science" it would be to know what the screaming would sound like from such a unique creature being burned.** Such a venture would be an alignment check***.

*174a) I would not get any XP from such a venture

**174b) Such information would not be as important to arcane life science

***174c) Out of character

[Gwazi Magnum]

174) I am not allowed to use "Stone to Flesh" to bring the non-lava part of a volcano to life, no matter how much XP I would get when it died* or how "important to arcane life science" it would be to know what the screaming would sound like from such a unique creature being burned.** Such a venture would be an alignment check***.

*174a) I would not get any XP from such a venture

**174b) Such information would not be as important to arcane life science

***174c) Out of character

My guess is it's like a tree but only composed of flesh.

It may feel pain and suffer, but it would make no noise and you'd hear nothing out of it.

[gurgleflep]

My guess is it's like a tree but only composed of flesh.

It may feel pain and suffer, but it would make no noise and you'd hear nothing out of it.

*Screaming internally*

[Gwazi Magnum]

*Screaming internally*

Pretty much :smallbiggrin:

[Arcanist]

Magic items work by interacting with an individuals magical "spark" (which everyone has, it's basically the soul). The stronger your soul/spark (i.e. the higher your level), the greater the amount of magical power/effects it can support (such as from items). Interact with an item too much and keep it too close to you and it gets tagged on for lack of a better phrase. Go over your limit and you stand an ever increasing chance of randomly having your soul irrevocably shredded (1% over is no real chance of boom, 10% over is minimal chance, 30% over is immediate soul shredding).

So you can have up to WBL on your person/immediately available with no problem and have another fifty million GP worth of items sitting back in the party vault. It's just that if you want to use them then you have to go back, drop off your items, and get the other ones that you want. This is generally not feasible in the middle of encounters.

Optionally, items crafted by an individual only count half value against the wealth limit as they are so closely attuned to your soul (you having crafted them with bits of your soul/spark.

So try and break WBL too egregiously in my games and you die, that simple really.

Does anyone else find it hilariously ironic that Tippy's campaign setting doesn't sound like a Tippyverse and that attempting to make it like one often results in death? Because that is just... Tippy, go to the Homebrew section and label out the rules for this, because I might want to actually try something very similar to this if not just rip the entire thing.

179) If I see Tippy post a build, I am to immediately skip over it to avoid the ever classic death by drowning (in books).

180) I am never to allow a thread listing "things I am not allowed to do in DnD" go over 180 listings.

[Gwazi Magnum]

181) I am never to listen to someone who is not to allow a list what not to do in d&d to go over 180.

[Kazyan]

182) Cannot use a demon's head as an improvized weapon.

[Gwazi Magnum]

183) I am never to ignore the rest of my party in order to fight the giant demon chasing us in another plane.

[gurgleflep]

184.) I may not use ideas I've stolen from childhood cartoons in my campaigns. Ninja Turtles is a prime example of this.

[Yael]

22) "Do something big enough to force the DM to redraw his world map" is not the goal of this campaign

185) Not allowed to release elder gods whose first action will be that from #22.

[Gwazi Magnum]

183) Not allowed to release elder gods whose first action will be that from #22.

Please change to 185 to not confuse people.

186) I am not allowed to take my first d&d character ever and make her the main villain in two future campaigns, both sequels of the one she was made in.

[Arcanist]

186) I am not allowed to take my first d&d character ever and make her the main villain in two future campaigns, both sequels of the one she was made in.

Ooo that stings... :smallannoyed:

187) I am not allowed to toss my party into my bag of holding to use as transportation when plane shifting.

187a) Using a Portable Hole is right out.

187b) I am especially not allowed to say that the Portable Hole is "bigger on the inside."

187c) Violation of the above rules will result in taking ∞d6 crushing damage from a blue police box with a man inside of it.

[Gwazi Magnum]

Ooo that stings... :smallannoyed:


It was honestly something I kind of started when I became DM briefly of a new campaign, but was meant to be more a sub-plot (but never ended up showing as such a way since the previous DM being a player sabotaged the campaign. Blamed me for killing his for speaking up about him making it about his ego and control over the players... different story though) that ended up being revived in a later campaign when the DM's let out characters talk, compare notes and we ended up in a chat and made it so she was still around and the villain and the DM here (different than the DM detailed above) was like "Cool, they're writing my story for me, I'm won't stop them" and it went on like that.

It was actually pretty awesome. :smallbiggrin:

[Humble Master]

187c) Violation of the above rules will result in taking ∞d6 crushing damage from a blue police box with a man inside of it.
Its MORE TIME LORD SCIENCE!

188) I am not allowed to be the personal hairdresser of a god, especially when I have a scroll of Ice Assassin on hand...

189) My players may not reference My Little Pony for any reason

190) My players also can't have horses, they get riding goats instead.

191) If a player does get a horse somehow they can't recolor it's coat with Prestidigitation and put an Arcane Mark on it's flank.

192) My players cannot get a Lightsaber with Wish.

[gurgleflep]

*snip*
189) My players may not reference My Little Pony for any reason

190) My players also can't have horses, they get riding goats instead.

191) If a player does get a horse somehow they can't recolor it's coat with Prestidigitation and put an Arcane Mark on it's flank.
*snip*

How about a velociraptor with badger markings and arms (burrowing ability!) that's inside a proportionate tortoise shell? :smallamused: I'm totally getting this brewed!

[Humble Master]

How about a velociraptor with badger markings and arms (burrowing ability!) that's inside a proportionate tortoise shell? :smallamused: I'm totally getting this brewed!
I personally prefer riding a Dire Tiger or a Fleshraker but a modded velociraptor is cool too I guess.

Also there is an exception to rule 190), my players can have horses if they are named Agro or Epona.

[gurgleflep]

I personally prefer riding a Dire Tiger or a Fleshraker but a modded velociraptor is cool too I guess.

Also there is an exception to rule 190), my players can have horses if they are named Agro or Epona.

Velocadgtoise. Completely different species! :smalltongue:

I'm going to have to get my Ocarina out, aren't I? :smallsmile:

[Humble Master]

Velocadgtoise. Completely different species! :smalltongue:

I'm going to have to get my Ocarina out, aren't I? :smallsmile: I could go for some Ocarina music. But please, don't bring Navi.

[gurgleflep]

I could go for some Ocarina music. But please, don't bring Navi.

"Hey, listen!" to this! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSnKYLNbDY8) (Also, that isn't me. I'm a dude with no musical talent.)

[Regitnui]

193) Jumping off a bridge in Sharn (city of Towers) is not a legitimate way to add falling object damage to my attack roll.

193a) Neither is jumping out of an airship.

193b) I still take falling damage even though the enemy 'broke my fall'.

193c) Having an appropriate battle cry does not negate the falling damage

193d) Feather fall will negate both the falling damage and the surprise round.

193e) I cannot use an action point to make this manoevure work.

194) I shall not make rules with excessively long lists of sub-rules.

[Stake A Vamp]

195) I, as DM, may not talk up the paladin class to a newbie, thenuse that player to stop the players from derailing the plot by making the plot rely on the players being lawful good

196)as DM, I must give at least 3 "are you sure's?" before i allow a player to do something that will result in a TPW


197), as a player, gnomes are not throwing weapons
197a)neither are halflings
197b)kobolds do make excellent clubs, but only if you kill them first
197c)using live goblins as javlins is out of the question
197d)no more using live, small sized creatures as weapons
197e)no more using dead, small sized creatures as weapons
197f)no more small sized creatures for me.

198) my cat on the battle mat does NOT constitute the tarasque appearing on the fields of battle
198a) if my cat bats a mini, the tarasque does not make a claw attack against that character, same goes for gnawing on a mini
198b) if i am caught checking the tarasque entry when my cat is nearby, i am to have my monster manual confiscated

199) there is no elemental plane of cotton candy, and summon cotton candy elemental is not a valid spell for a gluecomancer to cast.
199a) gmuecomancer is not a valid NPC class
199b) the elemental plane of bananas does not exist
199c) no more planes for me.

[Jack_Simth]

174) I am not allowed to use "Stone to Flesh" to bring the non-lava part of a volcano to life, no matter how much XP I would get when it died* or how "important to arcane life science" it would be to know what the screaming would sound like from such a unique creature being burned.** Such a venture would be an alignment check***.
Actually, this is defined in the spell description in 3.5 (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/stoneToFlesh.htm):
The spell also can convert a mass of stone into a fleshy substance. Such flesh is inert and lacking a vital life force unless a life force or magical energy is available. (For example, this spell would turn a stone golem into a flesh golem, but an ordinary statue would become a corpse.) (Emphasis added)

You cast Transmute Stone to Flesh on part of a volcano... and you get burned dead flesh that was never alive to care.

[Arcanist]

Actually, this is defined in the spell description in 3.5 (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/stoneToFlesh.htm): (Emphasis added)

You cast Transmute Stone to Flesh on part of a volcano... and you get burned dead flesh that was never alive to care.

My god, Stone to Flesh is the most metal spell in the game :smallconfused:

200) Quoting Monty Python results in 2d6 lightning damage.

[buttcyst]

#201) as a DM, I am not allowed to cast enervation

[TuggyNE]

200) Quoting Monty Python results in 200d6 divine damage, no save, no SR, no attack roll, no kidding.

Fixed that for you. :smalltongue:

[Sith_Happens]

195) I, as DM, may not talk up the paladin class to a newbie, thenuse that player to stop the players from derailing the plot by making the plot rely on the players being lawful good

That is a legitimately horrible thing to do.

[AzureNightshade]

So could you stone to flesh a volcano then animate it as a zombie?

[Kelb_Panthera]

So could you stone to flesh a volcano then animate it as a zombie?

No. The zombie template must be applied to a creature. Innert volcano-flesh isn't a creature.

[Kazyan]

You might be able to make a Flesh Golem, though.

[buttcyst]

No. The zombie template must be applied to a creature. Innert volcano-flesh isn't a creature.

but there are spells that have dead flesh as a component, also could be used for taxidermy purposes, maybe to reinforce a flesh golem or something, get it tanned into leather armor

[buttcyst]

You might be able to make a Flesh Golem, though.

to make the flesh golem you need 6 bodies

[NeoPhoenix0]

200) Quoting Monty Python results in 200d6 divine damage, no save, no SR, no attack roll, no kidding.

Fixed that for you. :smalltongue:

Cool my defiant can quote monty python all day long. :smalltongue:

[Phelix-Mu]

You cast Transmute Stone to Flesh on part of a volcano... and you get burned dead flesh that was never alive to care.

And the best charred BBQ evah!

202.) No longer allowed to play a druid with spontaneous access to the whole druid spell list, no matter how balanced the rest of the 3rd party prestige class may seem.

[Erik Vale]

TPW


TPW?
Necces

[NeoPhoenix0]

Total Party Wipeout

much less commen than TPK, Total Party Kill.

[Erik Vale]

Ahh. Probably why I thought it was a spelling error.

[AzureNightshade]

203: Bypassing every organic obstacle set in front of you is not an acceptable use of the spell Junglerazer. Repeatedly pointing north and creating 120foot long clearings to prevent getting lost will most likely offend the local druid sect.

[NeoPhoenix0]

#204) I am not allowed to create a 1000ft. by 160ft. clearing in a forest without a good reason.

#204b) Because i can do it with one spell is not a good reason.

#204c) Especially if said forest is home to the kobalds and lizardfolk that are my only allies or people that don't want to hunt, kill, or run away from me.

[Svata]

200) Quoting Monty Python results in 200d6 divine damage, no save, no SR, no attack roll, no kidding.
Fixed that for you.:smalltongue:

Cool my defiant can quote monty python all day long. :smalltongue:


200) Quoting Monty Python results in 2000d% damage each of every type, no save, no SR, no attack roll, no kidding.

Fixed it... again

[Arcanist]

205) I am, under no circumstance, to play a Diplomancer in a 3.5 Dark Sun campaign.

205a) If I do, I may not Diplomacy a Sorcerer-King into True Mind Switching with me.

[Emperor Tippy]

Fixed it... again

Cool, my persistent Delay Death allows me to quote Monty Python all day. :smallbiggrin:

[ShadowFireLance]

206)
I am, under no way, shape or form, to play a Dragon.
Ever.

Even if it's a Epic Getstalt game.
No Dragons.

206a)
Especially when the BoEF is Involved.
Most certainly not.

[Arcanist]

*snip*


*snip*

This (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDXTJa6TrKE) actually summarizes my reaction to BOTH of these comments...

[NeoPhoenix0]

200) Quoting Monty Python results in 2000d% damage each of every type, no save, no SR, no attack roll, no kidding.

now see the mistake you all keep making is it is typed damage. You just keep adding steps to it. Admittedly at this point immunity would require a very munchkiny epic character. It needs to be untyped magic damage. Even then they can still prolong the inevitable. Which leaves us with rocks fall which no one but the DM can stop.

[bookguy]

207) Diplomacy is no longer a valid skill.

[Regitnui]

207) Diplomacy is no longer a valid skill.

Wait, what? :smallconfused:

[Jack_Simth]

Wait, what? :smallconfused:
Because pretty much no matter what you do with the skill, an optimizer can abuse it to absurd effects.

[Gwazi Magnum]

Because pretty much no matter what you do with the skill, an optimizer can abuse it to absurd effects.

I find you should just apply realism to diplomacy and it's normally fine.

It's when people get in the mindset of 'Diplomacy roll. He has to agree!' when it starts to get broken.

[Jack_Simth]

I find you should just apply realism to diplomacy and it's normally fine.
Have you really never encountered someone who could seem to talk basically anyone into doing basically anything? Then remember: Most models of the real world into D&D terms basically end up saying everyone on earth is 6th level or lower (with 6th level being the einstins - the world's skilled elite) and most people being about 3rd or so.

Then, of course, there's the little issue of 'ok, what becomes realistic when magical enhancements are involved?'



It's when people get in the mindset of 'Diplomacy roll. He has to agree!' when it starts to get broken.
Yeah. Of course, if you don't have something like that, the skill becomes basically useless, as it can't get anyone to do anything, and it's just stealth-banned.

[Gwazi Magnum]

Have you really never encountered someone who could seem to talk basically anyone into doing basically anything? Then remember: Most models of the real world into D&D terms basically end up saying everyone on earth is 6th level or lower (with 6th level being the einstins - the world's skilled elite) and most people being about 3rd or so.

Not so much, but that just be because I never cared for someone's popularity and likability. In fact I tend to dislike people who are popular in that way. And these would be people who if in d&d would have high Charisma... so in a sense I might not be the best person to ask on this since I'd be one of these characters with a trait saying "Someone who uses Diplomacy or Bluff on you has their Charisma modifer act as a penalty rather than a boost".


Then, of course, there's the little issue of 'ok, what becomes realistic when magical enhancements are involved?'

Yeah. Of course, if you don't have something like that, the skill becomes basically useless, as it can't get anyone to do anything, and it's just stealth-banned.

Magic spells like dominate person I can see pulling this stuff off.
Enhancements... I've rarely seen be mixed with social skills.

But diplomacy still needs logic behind it. Unless if you fooling the person blind in which case I consider it more a bluff check than a diplomacy check.

Sure, approaching it this way makes diplomacy less powerful but that's kind of the point. It's not's unusable, you just can't talk someone blind into something no matter what. You'll need some good reasons and points supporting yourself.

[Regitnui]

Diplomacy, as I see it, is whatever would work in the UN-equivalent. Bluff is outright lies and obfustication. Both work together, but if you're trying to talk someone into something they're not ever likely to do on their own, I'd call it a Bluff check.

[BTB]

208) You are never allowed to have Summon Instrument again.
209) You are not allowed to make music related puns
210) You are not allowed Catch Off Guard
211) No more Magus