What If? OotS in a difference Genre [Archive] - Giant in the Playground Forums

Sir_Leorik

2013-06-03, 04:19 PM

Western:

The Posse of the Stick

:roy: The New Sheriff in Town; has an education (either Ivy League or from West Point), while still being one of the fastest draws around; prefers to use common sense and a few quick words to defuse trouble in town rather than use a gun or arrest anyone, but when he has to Sheriff Roy will round up The Posse of the Stick to take out troublesome varmints. Uses an antique percussion cap six shooter first used by his grandfather Horace during the Mexican War.

:haley: The Bandit with a Heart of Gold; she's wanted for robbing banks, stagecoaches, trains, and covered wagons, as well as for cheating at cards, and seducing rich men and robbing them blind (and buck nekkid). However she was a major soft side: she never kills any of her victims (in fact she's never done worse than humiliate them) and when trouble comes to town she joins the Posse of the Stick. Uses a long barreled rifle.

:elan: The Well-meaning but Bumbling Deputy; moonlights as the piano player at the town's watering hole; writing a (badly cliched) dime novel about Sheriff Roy; while Deputy Elan means well, he is not that useful in a fight. Uses a derringer.

:durkon: The Civil War Veteran Turned Preacher; after barely surviving the Battle of Gettysberg, decided to turn to religion; moved out West and became town preacher. Wants to give up fighting, but decides to join the Posse of the Stick after orphanage burned down by gang of thugs; uses Civil War army revolver.

:vaarsuvius: European Inventor of Indeterminate Nationality; came into town to set up a lab to do something... no one's really sure; noone in town sure if this guy's Belgian, Rumanian, Bohemian or Jewish or a guy for that matter. Uses a variety of special explosives and reagents. Has a talking bird, and mutters about "the divorce cost me everything! But they'll pay, they'll all pay!" Joins the Posse of the Stick after Sheriff Roy asks the mayor to give the Inventor a license for the explosives.

:belkar: Extremely Irate Irishman; often starts bar brawls (especially if called a "leprechaun"), usually gets tossed into jail by Roy. Only agreed to join the Posse of the Stick after Sheriff Roy threatened to hang Belkar for trying to stab a prostitute. Uses a pair of nasty looking daggers, says that guns are for wimps.

:xykon: Skeletal Gunslinger; is actually an early 18th century English explorer who became a living skeleton after drinking too much tequila during the Day of the Dead Festival. Now is capable of causing the dead to rise from their graves, but is so bored he just sends them out to rob banks and slaughter townsfolk. Hasn't had any real fun since the Civil War ended ("Best Reality TV show ever!") Xykon uses a snaplock revolver that fires a burst of hellfire. Preparing to attack the town with a tribe of Goblins.

:redcloak: Goblin Tribal Shaman; leader of the Goblin Tribe, He-Who-Wears-the-Red-Cloak is actually an incredibly educated individual; graduated from Oxford University, cumma sum laude, with honors with a Ph.D. from Ecole Centrale Paris, he is constantly complaining about how people underestimate the intellect of Goblins; wants to kill the townsfolk as a stepping stone to conquering America; avid fan of Jules Verne (in the original French, natch!) Uses a Goblin Tribal Talisman that can cause the dead to rise from their graves and fire a disintegration beam.

:roach: The Manitou Roaches; accidentally summoned by the smell of roast bison, the Manitou Roaches provide color commentary and chew through the fourth wall with anachronistic humor and "Back to the Future III" references.

:mitd: The Gentle Monster; no one except Xykon and He-Who-Wears-the-Red-Cloak know what the Gentle Monster really is. The Monster mostly hangs around at the entrance to an all concealing tent, or under a frilly pink parasol that shrouds it in absolute darkness (while doing nothing about the sweltering heat). The Monster was found by a pair of sterotypical big game hunters in Nova Scotia who sold it to a not-so-anachronistic circus. The Monster eats a lot, and reads dime novels about Sheriff Roy.

:nale: Outlaw, Leader of the Linear Gang; despises his pure hearted twin brother Elan, and wants to kill him; is not as effective a strategist as he would like to think he is; gathered Linear Gang. Uses six shooter.

:sabine: Outlaw Temptress of the Linear Gang; rival of Haley (both were gunning for fortunes of same lonely, pathetic man, Haley made off with loot). Uses sixshooter and feminine wiles.

:thog: Dumb Muscle of the Linear Gang; hooray, thog is in western parody! all thog's dreams coming true! Thog uses a sawed off shotgun.

kxm

2013-06-03, 06:27 PM

Heist Movie

Roy: Mastermind of the scheme, puts a team together to pull off heist to get righteous revenge

Durkon: Old associate of Roy that has pretty much retired from the business but reluctantly agrees to help him pull off one final job for friendship and old times sake.

Haley: Hotshot young lockpicking expert that wows everyone with her skill and beauty

Belkar: Loose cannon mercenary the team hires for extra firepower but later begins to regret. At one point blows up something unnecessarily, nearly jeopardizing the mission

V: Computer hacker that sits in a van the whole time typing rapidly. Disables security systems and also sends in robots/hacked vehicles to do cool things

Elan: Serves as comic relief by cracking plenty of jokes at the beginning, others are usually not amused. By the end proves surprisingly effective.

Xykon: Extremely hammy corporate villain who ruthlessly industrializes and expands his company, bribes and threatens his way into getting what he wants. We get to see his stupid-looking enraged shock when he finds out what just got stolen from him.

Shojo: Veteran FBI investigator who knows Roy and the team from previous encounters. Half-heartedly tries to stop them but at the end misdirects his men "accidentally" because he secretly wants the heist to succeed.

BrotherMirtillo

2013-06-03, 10:40 PM

Cop Drama - Crime and Forensics, Law and Order

Shojo - As the commissioner, he's managed to juggle politics inside and outside of the station, but someone's dug up some of his illegal searches and seizures. He gets fired in the pilot episode, but he's always taught the officers to never give up on a case, and he's left some information about the Guerilla Archive Transmission Educators, whose underground secrets could incite public disorder that would rip the whole city apart. "It's only a matter of time before they take me down. You think I'm gonna let this city go the same way?"

Roy - Comes from a line of officers -- some field work, some desk work, many killed in the line of duty. Prefers methodical deduction from evidence over popular suspicions and theories. He avoids stepping on governmental toes when possible, but if he doesn't respect the government, he'll use a little creative understanding of the rules. He also has a very wide variety of contacts with fewer restrictions in their methods. "They told me to drop the case. Fine. That's why you and I are going for donuts, chatting about sports, movies, what looked like a drug sale in a bar on Avenue Street at 10:48 last night. Just gossip, you know?"
Haley - She did some time, and she's no cop. She's a freelance private eye who just happens to get inside stories rather easily. She can smell a political rat a mile off, she collects secrets like corporate workers collect business cards, and she keeps a close list of which favors she owes (very few) vs. the ones she's owed (plenty). Very handy with a gun, but she mainly uses it for getaways, and never for hotheaded damage that would complicate her living prospects. "Have you seen the newspaper today? Here, take my copy, which has no more pages inside it than normal. You can return it to me with a few bucks. For the paperboy."
Elan - The new guy. He claims to have the word on the street, to be down with all the local homies, and his colleagues wince every time he goes undercover. Over the months, they've become somewhat less surprised when he keeps escaping without dying. No matter how gangs are bewildered by his attempts to plant himself, he always finds a way out, and they're often thrown off their game enough for him to stumble across a loose thread in the local plots. "He ran away so fast that he dropped his cell phone. Wow, look at all those contacts! ...Why are looking at me like that?"
V - The forensic expert, B.S., M.S., PhD. Arrives on the scene, captures evidence, gives the analysis, goes back to the lab. No one really knows anything about V's social life, and V never volunteers the information. Instead, the doctor occupies the days and nights with endless projects. Although no one has ever known Doctor V to sleep or laugh, you will not find a more professional analyst, and any project passing over that desk will receive top-notch attention. "The crime scene featured no fewer than five different models of firearms, wielded with accuracy ranging from somewhat proficient to almost certainly inebriated. The fingerprint reports shall arrive on your desk presently, I have alerted the local traffic observation facilities of the three suspicious automobiles involved, and I detect that my tea has completed boiling. Good day."
Durkon - The veteran. He's been on the force for years, he knows its pulse, hears the trouble before it starts. He's a real grouch to the newbies, and he doesn't look kindly on people who think they can just turn the city or the system upside-down. Still, it helps to get to know him. He's still a storm cloud, but he smiles even in the face of disaster. Also, he keeps a flask of excellent booze, plus a spare one for sharing. It never stops him from his job. "Lad, ye'll hafta deal wi' an awful lot in this line o' work. It's part o' yer duty. But ye dinnae hafta do it alone, ne'er ferget that."
Belkar - Absolutely not a cop, but still on the speed dials of the main officers. He's not so much an informant or a spy as he is a spotlight. Wherever he goes in the underworld, secrecy ends and things break. People spill their guts around him -- figuratively, if they're lucky. At the start, one only had to suggest that a fellow criminal was challenging him, and he would swoop in to bust some heads. His only interest in politics was to notice how many people were sneaking up on him with anything resembling handcuffs. Because of this, it's a bit unnerving that he's recently begun asking questions about the department's current events, even volunteered information about issues that no one can remember mentioning in his presence. "So I heard you all tried to sting Bozzok last week? Hey, not bad, but you need to learn about sniffing out the weak spots. As for what I did to him, you're welcome, and I'll take my reward in cash."

Tarquin - A former bank manager, he is now a cabinet member for the mayor. He reaps cheering popularity with the public and cautious silence from his apparent peers. He always has a freshly-pressed suit and multiple conspicuous guards, which almost certainly means he has additional inconspicuous guards. He's held his position for many years and multiple mayors. His new bosses always find him useful to keep around, and the public keeps electing him. Certainly, his work has not been boring. It must have been coincidence when that teenager assaulted him, then tripped and fell into the path of an oncoming bus. Tarquin gave a very moving speech about the needs of society's youth at his funeral. "Commissioner, even if there was an immigration reform bill in motion, it would be for the Senate to determine if it will pass, not me. Care for another drink?"
Nale - A lawyer, a mover, and a shaker. He holds no legislative or executive office, but he's often running to get one. The frustrating part is that he's got a knack for raising backers. He also has encyclopedic knowledge of the judicial system, which he's sure to flaunt whenever an officer tries to intimidate him. Canny, sharply-dressed, and always wielding the latest technology and cars, he ingratiates himself at as many levels as possible, and he never forgets a grudge. "Ah, I'm glad you could join us. You'll understand our moving up the appointment for your appeal -- the judge and I have a two o'clock tee time, and we want to wrap this up quickly."
Sabine - Perilously charming, no one really knows where she came from, and the few who do know can't say much because her new friends would not believe it. Whenever Nale makes a social appearance, she's with him, and even when she's on her own business, she doesn't say a word against him. She's on her own business rather often, or at least, no one can tell who's business she is on. In fact, they can only guess how much she actually does, because she is a social chameleon and a champion actress, able to go anywhere as anyone and ask anything. Far too often, she gets answers. "Senator Kubota, so good to see you again. I'm glad that you're out of the hospital so soon -- please, right over here, a couple of my friends want to hear how you'll turn this city around."
Thog - He's a brute, and most of the force knows about how often his actions have matched Nale's agenda, although none of them really knows how Thog threw his lot in with Nale to begin with. Thog doesn't have a subtle bone in his body, and he would have gotten thrown in the slammer long ago. He did some time, but not for long, mainly because of Nale's abilities to excuse him. He has deadly flexibility when cops trace or remove one of his weapons, and cops don't approach him quickly because he has no fear of brutalizing anyone that lays a hand on him. "Thog not want right to remain silent. Jail was silent. Jail was boring. Other prisoners left Thog alone way too quickly."

GnomeFighter

2013-06-04, 11:02 AM

Graduated from Oxford University, cumma sum laude

No such thing. Sorry, it grates when people use US terms like that. You see it all the time with "English" characters played by US actors.

In cliched "English": "Oh yes, I graduated Magna *** Laude from Oxford majoring in Architecture"... No, no and no.

Anyway:

Period Drama:

Lord Roy: The Wealthy land owner & Father. He wants to protect his family and his inheritance and keep the "old place" running. Living forever in the shadow of his Father, a well liked but overly critical man who would disapprove of every choice Roy made despite his obvious skill at running the estate.

Lord Elan: The idiot son. Means well but has no idea about the world. All he wants to do is have fun. Roy fears he will ruin the family.

Lady Hayley: The eldest daughter of a family who have fallen on hard times thanks to her fathers gambling debts and poor business choices. Her Father wants her to marry in to money to save her Family.

Father Durkon: The local Priest. A well meaning man who has taken it upon himself to ensure the safety and well being of Elan whilst his mother is away. Also to ensure the safety and well being of Roys drinks cabinet. Enjoys a few sherries.

Belkar: Roys Game Keeper. Started as a poacher as a lad but got in to service with the family. He is still not trusted around the silver, but has a growing soft spot for the family that took him in despite his past.

Mr Scruffy: Belkars pet lurcher.

Nale: Elans twin brother and black sheep of the family. Not trusted not to sell the family silver given half a chance.

Xykon: A Wool mill owner. He has designs on the house, hoping to open a workhouse on the site.

Redcloak: Xykons accountant and the real brains behind Xykon Mills. He wants to run the business thinking he could do much better by paying the workers well and not just using those who have no choice. A champion of workers rights, but also a staunch socialist who hates the wealthy.

Madfellow

2013-06-04, 11:09 AM

Noir

:roy: The hardboiled private investigator with a dark past to overcome. He is haunted by his father's death and has devoted his life to finding his father's killer.

:haley: Roy's assistant, who's really only in it for the money. While Roy is generally a rule follower, Haley likes to play things hard and fast; breaking into houses for evidence, robbing suspects and extorting information out of them, etc.

:vaarsuvius: A hacker whom Roy and Haley go to when they need either information, inside access, or someone to cover their trail.

:durkon: A doctor whom Roy and Haley regularly have to visit after their most recent shootout or brawl. He's recently been kidnapped by the Linear Gang.

:elan: A reporter who frequently shadows Roy and Haley. He and Haley have developed a relationship that threatens to compromise their work.

:belkar: A local gangster whom Roy and Haley don't really like, but whom they regularly rely on for information or extra muscle.

:xykon: A corrupt corporate executive who wants to own the city and will stop at nothing to accomplish that.

:redcloak: Xykon's accountant.

:mitd: A hitman working for the Team E Corporation who may be starting to regret his part in Chairman Xykon's schemes. Nobody has ever seen his face and lived.

Celia: A lawyer who comes to Roy with a case: the head of her law firm has been murdered, and she suspects that the Team E Corporation is behind it. Roy, despite himself, starts to fall for her, feeling like she can help him forget his dark and troubled.
past.

:miko: A detective who had a long-standing grudge against Roy and Haley for interfering with her work on multiple occasions, and for associating with Mr. Belkar. She repeatedly tried to get them charged with obstruction of justice, but could never get it to stick. She recently died when the old City Hall exploded.

Tarquin: The mayor's assistant who secretly controls the city. He's recently been channeling funds and information to the Linear Gang to help solidify his control.

:nale: The head of the Linear Gang, who has a personal vendetta against Elan and, by association, Roy and Haley.

:sabine: The femme fatale and Nale's right-hand woman. She is a master of both disguise and seduction.

jidasfire

2013-06-04, 11:30 AM

The Legion of the Stick, aka the Order as superheroes.

Roy is Captain Greenhilt, the team leader. Enhanced physical abilities along with a keen tactical mind and a sword made from a rare, indestructible metal, Captain Greenhilt follows in a long line of heroes to defend justice and freedom.

Haley is The Red Blur. A former supervillain thief, the Red Blur once used her superhuman speed, stealth, and archery to commit burglaries on a massive scale, though never hurting anyone in the process. Eventually, she joined forces with Captain Greenhilt after her father was kidnapped by the Syndicate of Blood.

Elan is Elanstic Lad. A former sidekick and generally dismissed as comic relief, Elanstic Lad uses his stretching powers cleverly and creatively to not only save lives, but also to bring joy and morale to his teammates.

Durkon is the pilot of Thundershield, a mighty robotic suit of armor. An engineer and doctor fired by ODIN Technologies for his stubborn adherence to the law, he now uses his Thundershield armor, which confers invulnerability, lightning attacks, and regenerative gels to heal his injured teammates, to uphold the order he believes in so strongly.

Vaarsuvius is The Elven Torch. A scientist who experimented on him or herself and was transformed into a being of pure energy! The Elven Torch can no longer remember if it was male or female, but has the power of flight, as well as the ability to call forth destructive blasts of elemental fury. It joined the Legion of the Stick in an attempt to find its identity, the only clue to which seems to be a pet raven found in its now destroyed lab.

Belkar is God of War, a brutal vigilante. Armed with a pair of custom automatic pistols he calls Daggers, Belkar punishes criminals without mercy and doesn't care about innocents who get in his way. Captain Greenhilt doesn't particularly like him, but acknowledges that at times he's a useful ally to have, so often lets him go in the face of greater threats. God of War's only friend is an alleycat who roams the city streets with him, usually luring prey to their doom.

Xykon is Energy Drain, a master supervillain who rules a twisted, irradiated island. A former petty criminal, the man who became Energy Drain was caught in an arms deal gone bad and irradiated by an atomic blast. Instead of dying, however, he became a skeletal creature kept alive by radiation. His radioactive powers allow him to animated the corpses of those who died around him, as well as siphon the energy of the living and blast them with atomic fire. He seeks to spread his poisonous influence across the world for his own twisted amusement.

Redcloak is Crimson Commander, an exiled alien overlord. A member of a green-skinned species who were considered second class citizens on their own world, Crimson Commander came to Earth in search of a better life, only to find that he and his people were treated with fear and mistrust here as well. Time has left him embittered, and now he seeks to dominate humanity instead. His crimson battlesuit, alien technology, and legion of devoted followers lie in wait for the day he claims Earth as his own.

Nale is Master Planner. A former member of the Syndicate of Blood, Master Planner uses his mind control powers and genetic engineering experiments to amass gangs of supervillains in order to exact revenge against all who oppose his vain, ego-driven schemes of world domination.

Sabine is Succubus, the deadly femme fatale. With unnatural beauty gained through Master Planner's experiments, Succubus is fanatically devoted to her love. She must feed on the life force of others to keep her beauty, a curse she has come to take great delight in.

Thog is Smasher, Master Planner's enforcer. Smasher was a particularly tough but dim-witted agent of the Syndicate of Blood, until Master Planner gave him superhuman strength of incalculable proportion. Now he is a monster powered by rage.

The Sapphire Guard are AZPD (Azure City Police Department). Commissioner Shojo is a schemer, who freely uses the Legion behind the backs of his own agents. Captain Hinjo is unsure of the heroes, citing that on one hand they break they law, but on the other, they do help save the city from time to time. Lieutenant Miyazaki is a loose cannon cop who gets results, but is widely disliked in the department. She sees the Legion of the Stick as a threat to the city, and will stop at nothing to bring them down. Sergeant O-Chul is a grizzled veteran who was only two days to retirement before being captured by Energy Drain. Beat cops Kazumi and Daigo have seen the good done by the Legion first hand and often look the other way.

Tarquin and company are the Syndicate of Blood. Tarquin is a disgraced crime boss who once ran a very successful operation, until his success led to the police, superheroes, and even other criminals joining forces to topple him. This led to his formation of a shifting criminal organization which took on different names and leaders, while Tarquin remained the true puppet master behind the scenes. Tarquin has no superpowers of his own, but has countermeasures in place for virtually every form of superhuman he's ever encountered, and a collection of gadgets and magic objects he's stolen from those who have crossed his path. Malack is DeathPriest, a genetically engineered vampire who worships death itself, and has dark magic powers as well.

Zmeoaice

2013-06-04, 12:12 PM

The Legion of the Stick, aka the Order as superheroes.

Oh gods I want this to happen

jidasfire

2013-06-04, 12:36 PM

Oh gods I want this to happen

Thanks! Honestly, I'm having all sorts of ideas for that setting, which of course I can never use. Maybe I can do some art though...

Copperdragon

2013-06-04, 01:35 PM

A Racing Movie

Roy is the hero of the show, he's a very talented driver, yet he was prevented from winning the championship so far due to the evil competitor Xykon who's also very talented but keeps whipping out dirty tricks to keep winning. A few years back there was an accident that killed Roy's father and he has the suspiction Team Evil (driving black cars helped).
In this year's championship, everything will escalate.

Elan is the young, motivated driver who's in for the fun and not getting in what years-old feud he is getting and how dangerous he is. In some way he's the goofy comic-relief, but make no mistake: He is a very talented driver himself.
He'll get the edge over Xykon in one instance, but a dirty trick prevent him from winning and instead he crashes (like in the race at halftime of the movie) into a wall. His leg is broken and he's out of this year's competition. In the right moment (before the end) he'll raise Roy's spirit and enables him to start in the last race.

Haley the young, super talented mechanic. She's hot and you underestimate her, but she can make any car go a fraction faster. What is more important is that she's the one who'll counter the dirty tricks of Team Xykon. She'll sneak at night over to eavesdrop on them, she'll fix up until to the last second what they did, and she's not shy of using one or two game-changing dirty tricks herself right in the moment it is needed most (of course not in the last race, that one is won fairly by Roy!). Maybe she'll start a intrigue which points out one of Team Evil's tricks to the officials, thus ironing one edge out.

Durkon He's Roy's mentor, a veteran driver who is too old and drunk these days but keeps rambling over the good old times. When the team seems to fall apart, he's there with a speech. Just in the right moment before the end, he'll knock out one of Team Evil's goons and prevents him from planting the bomb in/cutting the breaking wire of Roy's car.

Vaarsuvius is the group's manager. A grey and boring person, but beware when the temper flares up. Usually he is in the office, doing business, getting money, being snarky. You could think he's useless, but if Team Evil treatens to cut the money of, he's going berserk and brings all his political power into the ring, as such threatening an "lawful" obstacles away.

Belkar is not a teamplayer. He is the driver in the own team that is more a competitor. He's racing like mad and does not care if he causes accidents that kill drivers or spectators. He's only in for the fun and the rush. On the track, he'll support his team somewhat, but only because he hates the others more. From time to time he causes accidents that keeps competitors from Roy away - of course without any intention or lust to see some other team's a car shattered.

Xykon is the seasoned, evil competitor. He's rich, he's famous, he won everything. His cars are pitch black and bear a white skull on the front. He plays and always has played dirty and together with his talent, that was all that was required. He arranged an accident that killed his "back then" biggest competitor Eugene and now he's planning to do the same with Roy.
He's the one to beat if you want to win it all!

Redcloak Team Evil's manager and my god, how do we hate that slimy bastard. What evil trick does not come from Xykon comes from him and he surely is the one who puts 90% of Xykon's tricks (all but the very dirtiest and dangerous ones) in. You cannot catch him legally, you cannot play on his own field.
In the end, he'll be beaten as Roy wins, as all his tricks are overcome, and someone will punch him into a large pit filled with somthing embarrassing, like cowdung.

Shojo the boss of the racing circuit, but he cares more for a good show or a rule. He's old and Team Evil plays him like an instrument to get away with their latest evil trick.

Hinjo his son, who'll one day take over. He is honest, wants the sport put to the front and not the business, but he is still not there - partily due to being young and inexperienced, partly because his father does not let him.

Miko the strict but very stupid highest racing official by whom you can slip everything by seemingly playing by the rules and "not getting caught". This changes when Haley manages to convince her of one of Team Evils tricks, then they get disqualified (afterwards) in that race, which levels the playing field. Then she'll be on her guard for the reminder of the movie and show she's good for something. She'll get some "makes up for her crappy behaviour for most of the movie" at the very, very end and people on the forum will discuss if that now redeems her or not.

MitD totally hot, naked spectator. You just never see it, as this one is always in the shadows. Everyone is referencing how "smoking hot" that person is and everyone is feeling tempted about it, but in the end we realize we do not even know the gender.

Nale The Linear Team, the third evil team. A nasty ancle-biter without a chance for the win, but that does not stop them from being annoying for the good team (they do not dare messing with Team Evil, which shows how low they are).

Sabine the slut of The Linear Team. She'l distract officials during the race with her features and prevents them from spotting them, she pours water in Roy's tank, she sleeps with anyone and everyone to get advantages and information for her Team.

Thog The guard of the Team, too dumb for anything but hitting people, but once beats up Roy at night (of course Roy makes it out of the hospital right into his car in the last second to participate in the last race). Will get caught in a (self-created) accident and be paralysed or so.

Sir_Leorik

2013-06-04, 01:44 PM

No such thing. Sorry, it grates when people use US terms like that. You see it all the time with "English" characters played by US actors.

In cliched "English": "Oh yes, I graduated Magna *** Laude from Oxford majoring in Architecture"... No, no and no.

Oh, like the British always gets basic facts about America correct! Just for that, He-Who-Wears-The-Red-Cloak now graduated with honors from Ecole Centrale Paris! :smalltongue:

Shred-Bot

2013-06-04, 03:20 PM

Generic Inspirational Childrens' Movie That You'd See On Like The Hallmark Channel Or Some Crap Like That

Roy is the stern, protective single adoptive father, who wishes his unconventional son would settle down and focus himself on serious things. Roy has a fierce rivalry with the town's corrupt and petty mayor Xykon that goes back generations. He worries that the son's whimsy will backfire and make the family look foolish, but ultimately realizes that happiness is more important than following convention and so eventually supports his dreams.

Elan is Roy's wacky adopted teenage son. He does not care for schoolwork or finding a job, but he has a good heart and has a way of charming everyone he meets. A gifted singer, guitarist and storyteller, he wants nothing more than to share his music with the world. He chafes under Roy's strict rules but looks up to him unconditionally, dreaming of the day his artistry will win him over.

Durkon is Roy's best friend and business partner, always quick to offer and accept the offer of a beer, he just barely toes the line of functional alcoholism. A deeply religious man, he is less quick to condemn Elan's actions than Roy is but nevertheless does urge him to reform his behavior. Engages in a lot of carpentry in his spare time, and always carries around a large hammer.

Haley is a friend of Elan's from school, gradually becoming more as the film progresses. Athletic and confident, she is the star striker of her school's soccer team, seemingly evading detection on the pitch before winding up in just the right spot to score an easy goal. Her father does not trust anyone outside the family, and vociferously disapproves of her friendship with Elan.

V is a friend of Roy and Elan's, an articulate local librarian who knows the town's zoning laws better than anyone and thus will be an indispensable ally in the conflict against Xykon.

Belkar does not appear in this film... sexy shoeless gods of war don't really get written into this type of movie.

Xykon is the town's corrupt mayor and foremost real estate developer. He gives his construction company favorable terms on every project, and funnels money into his personal accounts at every opportunity. His underhanded tactics put Eugene's company out of business, earning him the lifelong hatred of the Greenhilts. Currently he seeks to build a casino on the site of Elan's favorite guitar-playing meadow, leading to a conflict of municipal proportions!

Redcloak is Xykon's attorney and #2, who takes heaping doses of abuse from his employer but has secret machinations in play to steal all the casino revenue before Xykon can get to it himself.

Shadowknight12

2013-06-04, 06:23 PM

Post-Modernist Slasher

(I deliberately jumble the movie's plot to make it more interesting)

Haley is the Final Girl, the kind and resourceful woman who will survive every attempt on her life. She comes from a troubled background; a dead mother and an absent father, but despite her brushes with law enforcement and a streak of teenage rebelling that ended up with her knowing how to use a lockpick and break into houses, she is still a fundamentally good person inside. She will use her agility and intelligence (and sometimes plain old brute force) to avoid a gruesome fate and end the slasher's killing streak.

Roy is the Jock Subversion. He looks like a typical jock (athletic and strong), but he's also rather smart... and not a jerk at all. He has father issues, and spends the beginning of the movie trying to please a man who is nothing but negativity. He dies near the end, repeatedly stabbed in the chest, sacrificing his own life to distract the slasher so that Haley can kill him.

Redcloak is Haley's Nerdy Friend. He seems to be quiet and erudite, but somewhat devoid of personality. Doesn't appear much throughout the movie, but when he does, he's always the compassionate ear and the voice of reason. He expresses fear of the slasher, and prefers to stay behind and cover for the other characters (or perform research from a safe place) instead of risking his life out in adventures. Of course, that doesn't mean that he's entirely safe, as we see the slasher making attempts on his life several times throughout the movie.

Elan is the Love Interest. He's Haley's oblivious boyfriend. He's sweet, a great singer and guitar-player, and very good-looking, but dumber than a bag of broken bricks. He spends the movie thinking he's got things figured out, only to be consistently proven wrong when the person he thought was the slasher turns up dead. In the movie's climax, he gets stabbed in the stomach and thrown out a window while trying to ambush the slasher against Haley's warnings. The end of the movie reveals that he's okay, as he's wheeled off by paramedics in an ambulance.

Nale is Elan's Dark Twin. He arrives in town after he hears of the first murder, and spends time being dark and mysterious. He deeply hates and envies his brother, and spends time posing as him to confuse Haley. He dies halfway through the film, stabbed right before Haley's eyes, while she still believed him to be Elan. When the real Elan shows up, the deception is uncovered (and another one of Elan's suspects is proven to be innocent).

Durkon is the Mysterious Ex-Priest. A complete wreck of a man who spends his days drinking himself into a stupor. Haley and Elan come to him for advice when they find out in the library's old newspapers that he was the keeper of a terrible secret regarding an event that had happened 15 years before. He exists only to spout cryptic exposition about the slasher. Dies halfway through the movie, with a knife to the neck, as he gives away his position to the slasher in order to give Haley, Elan, Roy, Redcloak and Celia a chance to escape.

V is the Science Teacher. A loquacious, androgynous professor at the high-school where the movie takes place, V is a very smart authority figure who quickly deduces the identity of the slasher. In a brash move about a quarter into the movie, V lures the slasher to the high school lab, where V has prepared an incendiary trap designed to destroy the slasher once and for good. Unfortunately, V's plan backfires and ends up only slightly singeing the slasher, who is quick to throw V into the very fire that was meant to destroy them.

Celia is the Cheerleader Subversion. She starts out being Roy's girlfriend, and represents another twist on a tired old archetype. Yes, she's the most popular girl at school (and one of the prettiest, as well), but she's also kind to a fault and keeps a near perfect GPA. Her death takes place right before the movie's climax, as she lures the slasher through the high school's corridors into the trap that Roy, Elan, Redcloak and Haley have set up for their dangerous foe. The trap deploys perfectly and the slasher is seemingly riddled with a hail of arrows and bullets. But just as they think it's over, the slasher jumps out of the dark and runs Celia through with a blade. Celia shows up again after Roy dies and Elan gets hurled out of the window. With her final strength, she manages to crawl her way to Haley's struggle, and shoots the slasher before breathing her last.

Belkar is the Teenage Criminal. He's the local troublemaker, everyone knows him at school. He's the first to be suspected as the slasher, and the target of Elan's initial suspicions. He doesn't get much time to shine, as he's the third victim. He goes out to confront the slasher, determined to prove his innocence (and main the bastard who got him into trouble in the first place), and we're treated to a tense, visually-wowing fight scene between Belkar and the slasher, as they tear into each other with their blades of choice. In the end, the slasher proves successful and Belkar gets murdered. When they find him the next morning, we're treated to a shot of his pet cat fruitlessly pawing at his cold, dead body. It is meant to tug our heartstrings.

Sabine is the Femme Fatale. She's Nale's girlfriend, who came to the town to follow him in secrecy. While Nale pretends to be Elan to confuse Haley, Sabine and Haley cross paths several times in the pursuit of the same goals: to discover the slasher's identity. When Nale dies, the slasher goes after Sabine, but she proves to be a surprisingly competent fighter, expertly dodging and weaving the slasher's attacks. In a stroke of brilliance, the slasher leads her to Nale's corpse, where her momentary loss of composure is all he needs to strike her down.

Shojo is the Opening Kill. He's the town's mayor, and he holds many dark secrets. When confronted by the slasher, he says "I know why you're here. I regret nothing. Everything I did, I did for my people." After that, the slasher swiftly ends him. Before expiring, he manages to draw an "S" with his blood.

Hinjo is the New Mayor. He clashes with Haley as she attempts to solve the mystery on her own. At the beginning of the movie, he is given a small key that his predecessor held in a chain around his neck. He spends most of the movie trying to find out where it fits. Near the end of the movie, as the identity of the slasher is revealed, he finds an old, locked wooden box in Shojo's house. The key fits, and opening it reveals several newspaper clippings, a confession from Shojo dated 15 years before, and a thin, cruel knife.

Lirian is The First Accomplice. She is a gentle, elderly botanist that the entire town loves. Due to her consistency in sending black roses to all the slasher victims during the first third of the movie, Elan suspects her as the slasher. Haley and her friends confront her, and though she plays dumb at first, she eventually explains to them that it can't be her because the slasher is on a revenge spree. Before she can explain anything else, the lights go out and the slasher bursts into the greenhouse where they were talking. Amidst the panic, Lirian is stabbed in the back by the slasher, who immediately takes off before the others regroup. Haley reaches Lirian in her final moments. The elderly botanist manages to let out a "It's all because of Soon..." before dying.

Dorukan is The Second Accomplice. Not much is seen of him during the movie. He is Lirian's husband, and makes minor appearances throughout the beginning. Once Lirian dies, he takes his shotgun and goes after the slasher, heedless of danger or his advanced age. The slasher ambushes and makes quick work of him.

Horace is The Third Accomplice. He's Roy's father, a widower and a perpetually disappointed man who is completely impossible to please. He dies roughly a third into the movie, visited by the slasher while his children are gone. We never see what happens to him, we only see him stalked in his home by a POV shot. When he turns around, he utters "You deserved what we did to you" before the camera cuts to black. Roy comes back home to find him dead.

Xykon is The Decoy Slasher. When Haley and the gang unmask the slasher, their theory is thrown completely off. They were certain that the killer was the man who had murdered Soon and his wife 15 years ago, a murder that was officially classified as a hate crime. The six most prominent pillars of the community (Shojo, the Mayor, Lirian, the owner of most of the town's businesses, Dorukan, the Administrator of the local hospital, Horace, the richest man in town, Gerard, the local TV celebrity, and Sara, the town's Sheriff at the time) had taken justice upon their hands and cast the man responsible for the killings to the depths of the local lake. In the intervening 15 years, cancer had taken Sara (Horace's wife) and Gerard, but the other four were still ripe for vengeance-killing. Haley was sure that the man had somehow escaped certain death and nursed his hatred for 15 years. But Xykon wasn't him. Xykon had nothing to do with that. He was just a sociopath. He was only in it for the fun of killing. At that point, Roy lunges at him to give Haley a chance to shoot him down for good.

Redcloak, the Real Slasher. Haley thought everything was over. When she drops her guard around Redcloak, he stabs at her. Only her reflexes keep the wound from being fatal. As it is, it's only a shallow cut. And then, Haley gets it. "He had a son," she says. Redcloak nods. "He died in the lake, and you decided to take revenge after all this time." Redcloak then explains that it was all backwards. That his family was the victim of a hate crime, and that his father's revenge on Soon and his wife was just retribution, just like his own actions 15 years later. He hired Xykon to throw suspicion off him. After all, he couldn't be the slasher when the slasher was trying to kill him in front of others, could he? Redcloak and Haley duke it out, and a timely shot from Celia helps give Haley the advantage she needs to skewer Redcloak on his own blade. Hinjo arrives with the police shortly afterwards.

There is no stinger or sequel hook at the end, just a shot of Haley and Elan leaving flowers on their friends' graves.

Kancsar

2013-06-05, 12:04 AM

Nice job ShadowKnight12!

GnomeFighter

2013-06-05, 03:14 AM

Oh, like the British always gets basic facts about America correct! Just for that, He-Who-Wears-The-Red-Cloak now graduated with honors from Ecole Centrale Paris! :smalltongue:

Well, if you want him to go to an inferior university (and speak with a French accent thats up to you :smallbiggrin: )

Sir_Leorik

2013-06-05, 11:47 AM

Well, if you want him to go to an inferior university (and speak with a French accent thats up to you :smallbiggrin: )

He speaks with a Midwestern accent, duh. He's a Great Plains Goblin! :smallbiggrin:

Sir_Leorik

2013-06-05, 12:29 PM

Supernatural Teenage Romance Drama Airing on the CW

In this series a gang of high school kids discover that Zombies, Goblins, Dragons and other supernatural monsters are real -- and they're destined to fight them to protect mankind!

Roy Greenhilt discovers that he is the latest in a long line of Zombie fighters from Louisiana. He inherits the "greatsword" a magical sword able to disintegrate Zombies and other undead monsters, but which can be transformed into a simple baseball bat as a disguise. Roy is very strong and athletic, but he's no jock: he quits the soccer team to devote equal time to his grades and to fighting Zombies!

Haley Starshine lived with her dad Ian, a paranoid survivalist, in a trailer park outside of town, until her dad went missing. Since then she's been hiding the fact that she's a teenager living on her own from Child Protective Services, and stealing food from the school cafeteria to get by. While trying to steal food from a restaurant she sees Roy fighting some Zombies and comes to his aid. Since then Haley has insinuated herself into Roy's crusade, along with her boyfriend Elan and best friend V (whom Haley met during a brief Goth period in her life). Haley learned how to shoot a bow, fire a shotgun, pick locks and evade pursuit from her dad, and now she uses those skills to fight Zombies and other monsters.

Elan lives with his mother, a waitress at the town's bar. Elan is the president of the Glee club, the Drama Club and the D&D club. (He tried to join the chess club, but they are very strict about whom they'll let in.) Elan is failing every class he takes except English Lit, plays guitar in a band and is a cheerful optimist. He is so excited to be Roy's sidekick in the fight against the Zombies that he overlooks the fact that his only contribution to the group is his encyclopedic knowledge of horror movie tropes.

Vaarsuvius is the name that Vivian Susan Finkelstein has adopted to tick off her parents as part of her Goth lifestyle. Vaarsuvius dresses in flowing robes which conceal her already androgynous body, she has dyed her hair purple, and refers to herself as an Elf from the twilight realms. She is Haley's best friend since they were in middle school, and when V decided to rebel shortly after her Bat Mitzvah, Haley also adopted the Goth lifestyle (at least for a few months). Despite V's rebellious and obnoxious personality, she is a genius. V is the group's expert on magic, having read the books that Roy's father left to him about the Loa, Voudoun, Houngans and Zombies. V is now a skilled spellcaster and has conjured a Loa companion in the form of a raven named Blackwing.

Belkar Bitterleaf is the school bully. He picks on kids twice his size with no fear, because he figures better to attack them first. He has been caught bringing knives to school and the teachers are terrified of him, with the exception of his Home Economics teacher. As the first season progresses, Belkar realizes that Roy and his pals are fighting Zombies and demands that they let him join since he can't get in trouble for killing someone who's already dead. They decide to let Belkar join, since it would be easier to direct his agression if they can keep an eye on him.

Rabbi David "Durkon" Thundershield is an Orthodox Rabbi, a member of the town's volunteer ambulance unit, and the math teacher at the kids' school. While he disapproves of Haley's outfits, V's Goth lifestyle and study of magic, Elan's obsessive devotion to pop culture and Belkar's violent tendencies, he forms a mentor/student relationship with Roy and joins the group's fight against the Zombies and other monsters. Durkon is a brave fighter, a skilled medic and a source of spiritual guidance to all of the kids (with varying degrees of success).

Xykon is the Big Bad of season one. He's a former student of Aleister Crowley who realized that everything the idiot taught was bunk, and traveled to Haiti in search of real magic. There he found a totem which infused him with the power of Baron Samedi, granting him the ability to animate the dead to create Zombies. Baron Samedi, as a trickster being, only asked that Xykon go force and sow chaos, since Samedi knew that the Loa would send heroes to fight the Zombies. Eventually Xykon embraced undeath with the aid of the Goblin Cleric Redcloak, rising as a Zombie Lord. Bored with his new existence, Xykon moved into town and began to raise Zombies and search for a Gate.

Redcloak is a Goblin Cleric of the Dark One, an eldritch being that may be related to the Great Old Ones. Goblins once walked the surface of the Earth, fighting with mankind, before being driven off by the combined power of dozens of human nations in a battle taking place three thousand years ago. Redcloak has a bit of resentment about that and allied himself with Xykon to seek revenge. Redcloak is almost as skilled as Xykon at creating Zombies and he commands an army of Goblin Warriors and Ninjas during season one.

The Monster in the Darkness is a kind and gentle soul, who enjoys eating pizza, popcorn, hoagies and stew. Especially stew. Stew is so tasty. Its even fun to say: stew, stew, stew, stew. Um, what was I saying? I could really go for some stew. The MitD also likes to watch reality TV, YouTube videos, cartoons from the 1980's which marketed toys to kids, cartoons from the modern era which tap into nostalgia about the aforementioned '80's cartoons, and Game of Thrones. Because that's not TV, that's HBO. Could I have some stew?

Zombies are human and animal corpses reanimated by Xykon and Redcloak. They have no free will, obey Xykon and Redcloak's orders. They shamble about, moaning, and are easy to kill individually, but they usually attack in large numbers seeking to overwhelm their victims. Contrary to popular belief, they don't actually eat brains, or flesh for that matter.

Ghouls are more powerful undead that are intelligent and have a limited amount of free will (but are forced to obey Xykon and Redcloak's direct orders). Unlike Zombies, Ghouls do eat human flesh, and this is their chief desire. Anyone killed by a Ghoul will become a Ghoul, unless the body is destroyed. (Eaten by Ghouls counts as being destroyed.) Xykon and Redcloak can also create Ghouls using magic rituals.

Goblins work for Redcloak and Xykon. Some are warriors, some are ninjas, some are spellcasters like Redcloak. Goblins living in the town are protected by a glamer: they can not be recognized as Goblins during the daytime, provided they don't attack humans or get angry. As a result, Goblins have begun to replace key members of the town's population, including the Mayor, the principal and the Home Economics teacher.

The Demon Roaches are tiny demonic insects that crack jokes about the plot and the insipid characters. They predict that the CW will cancel the show before the end of season one.

Shadowknight12

2013-06-05, 04:10 PM

Nice job ShadowKnight12!

Thank you! :smallbiggrin:

I'm quite pleased with how it turned out.

Rogar Demonblud

2013-06-05, 05:40 PM

The Legion of the Stick, aka the Order as superheroes.

Now I need to win the lottery, so I can fund something with this much potential for Awesome.

Copperdragon

2013-06-06, 12:28 AM

The Order of the Stick in A Song of Ice and Fire
(There's no real spoilers if you only watch Game of Throns, but some places might still not be known to you)

Roy is the straight, harsh Lord who once foght for justice, honor, and truth. He's not a family man, as he is deeply disappointed with his father, who squandered a large part of the family power away due to being incompetent. He then went on to be become a Maester, shortly after Roy's birth, and left son and wife alone in what was left of home. On Roy's 18th birthday, he came back to bring Roy to Oldtown to also become a Maester. Needless to say Roy took his family Valyian Steel Sword - and the Black. He's now devoting hiis life protecting the World from Bigger Evils.

Haley started out as one of Varys' little birds in kings landing, sneaking around in the Red Keep and the Capital, learning the trade of a thief and a spy and finding secrets she whispered in the Spider's ears. When growing up she asked the very same question we are currently asking ourselves: If Varys had countless children sneaking around the secret tunnels for years and years, why are there not dozens or even hundreds of grown-ups in Kings Landing who know all the Keep's and Varys' secrets? Not willing to find out on her 14th birthday (as everyone else apparently did), she left with a big chunk of gold and started to thief on her own. Eventually, she had to flee the city and due to events taking place on over 8000 pages she made it to Storm's End, Harrenhal, Deepwood Motte, Dorne, Bravos, the Brotherhood without Banners, Volantis and the Crag to the Wall where she met up with Roy.

Elan nephew of one of the Tyrell's bannerman, like so many others a "Knight of Spring". He enjoys fun, tourneys laughs and party, but unlike so many of the others he did not join them in "dieing like flies when The Winter Comes". He's ended up with the Brotherhood without Banner, but did not get grim, he retains his good mood and everyone loves him when he gets out the lute. In one attack on Lannister-soldiers he got lost and then followed the King's Road up instead of down to get back. When he noticed, he did not stop to go back, but to look for new tasks and new songs others might now (for some reason he hates The Rains of Castamere, it's so depressing). He's travelling north because he heard "only few bards come to Winterfell", little does he know what he'll find there (and he really does not like this, so he goes on North because "even fewer bards should find their way there and those dark, cold people probably need some cheering up).

Durkon is only some pennyless knight who had no use for himself but drinking beer, as he did not find the right cause to really burn for. This changed when his god actually did awake (you know, that guy who loves burning people but whose name no one can pronounce) for whatever reason. Now he's a true believer, but thinks that setting swords on fire is a bit showy. When the people from the north finally come south in a quest, he joins them in the pursuit to stop one of the marauding hosts to burn/plunder/harass the smallfolk even further.

Vaarsuvius A maester of Oldtown, probably one of the mages. Ridiculed for since the last Dragon died hundreds of years ago, the mages separated themselves somewhat from the rest and Vaarsuvius is the pinnacle of that development. He (at some point in his youth, some evil Sorcerer "in the east" took off his manhood - or so he claims) hates all people and likes to research his books. But when the Archmaester of Magic sends you away to investigate what happens in the world, you really have to go. This is not an important character, but one that shows up in a few chapters over the course of three books and suddenly ends up where you totally do not expect him to end up (aka at the wall).

Belkar Now, that's a nasty bugger. A Song of Ice and Fire has multi-shaded characters and even the good ones have some stupid or outright evil traits and even the horribly evil ones have usually understandable motives or redeeming qualities. There are like half a dozen characters (more detailed ones) in the book where everyone can agree "gosh, that one is evil!". Belkar is one of them. He loves booze, whores and killing.
No one knows where he's from, some claim he has Wildling blood, others think there's a sprinkle of Targaryen-blood in his line which drives his bloodlust (and lust). We know he's one the knights who ride out with Gregor Clegane and he loves what he does. If they call Gregor "the Mountain that rides", then Belkar is "The ankle-biter that rides", but there's only two men alive who said this within his hearing and all are chained up in a deep cellar - without legs, arms, tongues and ears.
Lateron, Belkar gets caught and shipped off to the wall and only Roy manages to keep him in line. Belkar hates Walkers and The Others because they simply are not enjoyable to kill, he'd prefer going back to slaughtering tavern wenches, farmers, and just everyone else in the Riverlands. But Roy is a tad too scary.

---

Lord Xykon a Lord of a Small House that became important on the Iron Isles. He's a priest of the Drowned God and in "What does not kill us makes us stronger" he enojys the part where people he deals with are not getting up stronger than before. Rumour has it he himself has died more than two dozen times and what is left is barley worth calling "human".
In the upcoming crisis he wants to sit on the Iron Throne, but not for the sake of his god from the deeps, but only because he likes the process of conquering and telling other how awesome he is. He does not really want to be king, but he simply aimed for the highest course of conquering that seemed to be available.

Redcloak A mysterious person from the east, some say Myr, some say Ashai, others rumor he's from even further east, even if they have no idea what should be there. He's no priest of the Red God, he's no maester, we do not know whom he works for. But it seems there's another player on the field (which we realize late in book 5 or 6) that has been active all time, but eluded our view. He made Lord Xykon start his attempts to conquer, he even brought him in contact with the Drowned God and readers have the strong suspicion that if they one day find out what Redcloak's motives are, they will finally know what the entire epic is actually about. The forum is full of theories (threads are named "Redcloak and The Dark One .v 56"), some people have some good educated guesses, but in the end, nothing is known.

The Monster in the Dark We have no idea what it wants, we have no idea what it looks like as it is always shrouded in Dark. The mastery if Shadow Magic implies it comes from the Land of Shadows, far in the east, but it's not rambling prophecies as all those other people from Asshai seem to do. It does not seem to have an agenda and curiously for this book, it seems to actually be... nice.
Little do we know it a dragon that has survived in a cavern below Old Valyria, it is one of the few True Dragons, even mystical than normal ones. It's 100s or even 1000s of years old, it is powerful beyond measure, but what it wants is left unknown until late in the last book (it's going to tell everyone in the Seven Kingdoms to be nice, sit down, eat cookies and have some tea - or it will get *really* angry! (Dread, no I DID tell you how ASoIaF will end...)).

As all of the characters are not Point-of-View characters with an own chapter, they sadly get killed off one left and right during the books' run (apart from the Dragon in the Darkness, of course). The only character with a PoV is Roy. Sadly it's the prologue of book 6, so he's not surviving that either.
Elan and Durkon have the luck they do not get killed off in the TV show, but that's no comfort as the first is left out entirely and the second merged with another character (Haley dies like a season earlier than she should to keep the count of actors down if the new ones have to join for the next season).

Mammal

2013-06-08, 12:04 PM

I'm really enjoying these, this is super fun!

The Order of the Stick in A Song of Ice and Fire
(There's no real spoilers if you only watch Game of Throns, but some places might still not be known to you)

Awww, man, beat me to it! Here's my take on it, anyway.

Roy Greenhilt is the eldest son of a minor Southron lord, Roy took the black at a young age to escape his ambitious father's political and matrimonial scheming. Because of his familial connections, his main job is touring Westeros, "recruiting" for the Night's Watch. On one such trip, he manages to get on the wrong side of Lord Xykon, one of Lannister's bannerman. Xykon prevents him from returning to the Wall through some sort of dark magic. Roy, now an unwilling oathbreaker, must clear his name amid the chaos of the War of the Five Kings.

Haley Starshine is a poacher living in the Riverlands. She hunts in forests belonging to the Tullys to provide game to the impoverished refugees that pass through "her" turf. She has dubious connections to the Brotherhood Without Banners, but joined up with Roy after witnessing some of the Brotherhood's more brutal practices. She's wanted by every authority in existence, and has a lot to teach Roy about survival in an uncaring world.

Durkon Thundershield trained at the Citadel, but before he could forge the final links of his Maester's chain, felt the call of the Seven, and became a Septon. He was once employed by House Greenhilt, but joined Roy in the Riverlands after hearing that he had "broken" his oath. An indispensable member of the team, Septon Thundershield provides spiritual guidance to Roy, as well as treating injuries.

Elan is an aspiring minstrel. His ambition in life is to write a truly great song, and to that end, he traveled to the Riverlands after the outbreak of the war. His adventures with Roy might someday lead to a good song, if only he can survive the conflict and get over his infatuation with a certain red-haired thief...

Vaarsuvius is a supposedly foreign-born Maester with ties to the Pyromancers in King's Landing. A mysterious figure of indeterminate gender, age, and origin, V seeks knowledge above all else. They've joined Roy in his quest to restore his honor only because they owed a favor to Haley, an old friend. With their violet eyes, fascination with fire, and penchant for destruction, rumor has it that Vaarsuvius may be a bastard of Aerys Targaryen.

Belkar Bitterleaf was a recruit for the Night's Watch. A murderer from Flea Bottom, Bitterleaf saved Roy's life during Xykon's attack on their group. As such, Roy is indebted to him, though he may be the most dangerous and unstable element in the entire group. He chose to travel with Roy in the hopes of having his crimes pardoned without having to take the black himself.

Lord Xykon is an old and ambitious Lord, who claims to "worship" R'hllor. Rumor has it that he is kept from aging by the machinations of a Red Preist. He harbors a grudge against House Greenhilt after being humiliatingly defeated by the underhanded tactics of one Eugene Greenhilt, Roy's father. When young Roy, heir to House Greenhilt, took the black, Lord Xykon immediately began scheming to secure the hand of Roy's sister, Julia, in marriage, and later attempted to have Roy killed as he traveled the King's Road. If Xykon succeeds, he will inherit the substantial holdings of House Greenhilt.

Redcloak is a nameless preist of the Red God, R'hllor. He is currently in the service of Lord Xykon, and is rumored to be the source of his unnatural longevity. He is loyal only to the Red God, and seeks to bring R'hllor's cleansing flames to a nation of godless heathens and savages.

They all die.

Rogar Demonblud

2013-06-08, 02:44 PM

ti'esar

2013-06-08, 03:43 PM

They all die.

Given the context, I don't think that really needed a spoiler tag.

horngeek

2013-06-08, 11:57 PM

OOTS in...

EXALTED!

:roy: Dawn Caste. Carries an Orichalcum Daiklave from the bearer of his last Exaltation, and is carrying on the journey to kill a man his father swore to kill...

:durkon: Zenith Caste. From a cavernous society heavily aligned with the Realm. Whether or not he was a priest of the Immaculate Order or of a city god, his Exaltation has lead to his voluntary exile, as he would merely put those he cares about in danger- for now, he travels and spreads the word of the Unconquered Sun. Unlike his canon counterpart, he knows full well why he had to leave, but also unlike his canon counterpart, there's the possibility or returning safely one day. Also, not a dwarf- Creation has none.

:haley: Night Caste! This is the one I have the most trouble with, because anyone capable of holding her father in circumstances she can't just rescue him from is also someone I don't think would accept a monetary payment for him.

:elan: Eclipse. I think. Not the brighest in the bunch, still, but he'd be a lot more dangerous than his canon counterpart at least.

:vaarsuvius: Twilight Caste, for sure. ULTIMATE COSMIC POWER! Other than that, another one I have difficulty slotting in. Most of his character development is stuff that's rather hard to translate to Exalted.

:belkar: ...Dusk or Day Caste. Abyssal Exalted and rather gleefuly so. Also, a Djala, Exalted's equivalent of being seen as the small and rather harmless group.

Now, the Villains!

:xykon: Daybreak Caste Abyssal Exalted, for the gleeful Necromantic sorcery if nothing else. Not undead here, although he quite likely looks almost so.

Alternatively, a Deathlord, although the first allows him to still be connected to :roy:. Either way, probably a lot more omnicidal in his plans.

:miko: Terrestrial Exalted! Fire-Blooded! Devout Immaculate, who views the Order as Anathema and kills Shojo for working with them!

I got nothing for the rest. Redcloak may be a Raksha going through the 'story' of working for Xykon, but I doubt it, to be honest.

Khay

2013-06-09, 09:41 AM

This is a very interesting idea. Let's see...

Fallout! (Well, from what I know about it from playing Fallout 3 and skimming various wiki articles.)

:roy: A vigilante or possibly Regulator (http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Regulators_%28faction%29). Proud owner of pre-War combat armor and something he calls a 'power-sword'. The sword has been in the family for generations, and they have developed some myths about its proper maintenance. Believes his ancestors are talking to him through said sword, but is otherwise a very stand-up guy, if a little uptight at times. His family - the entire village, actually - has been driven from their home by the Enclave, and his father swore an oath to avenge them. Roy picked up the torch, metaphorically speaking.

:durkon: A medic. Originally hails from the North (Canada, perhaps), but was exiled from his home community after doing... something to upset the local religious leaders, it's not quite clear. Has become somewhat disillusioned (and alcoholic) with his past experiences, but he remains a highly skilled medic and a reliable ally all the same. Prefers not to fight, but carries a steel baseball bat for self-defense. One of Roy's oldest friends and advisors.

:haley: A rogue, duh. Grew up in one of the less-than-nice cities in the wastes (such as they are). Her mother died when she was a child and her father went away in some badly planned crusade against a local group of slavers, forcing her to make her living as a petty thief. Eventually crossed the wrong person and had to flee (lest she face justice-by-shotgun), decided to tag along with the group. Fights with revolvers, mostly.

:elan: Fresh from a local Vault. Said Vault was originally established to prove certain (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ADegreeInUseless) ideas (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HardOnSoftScience) about the Liberal Arts, and thus filled with all manner of intellectuals and artists. The Vault itself was constructed to specification, though, and it survived to the present day, more or less intact. The Order of the Stick helped to save the (somewhat naive) vault dwellers from being raided/eradicated/enslaved, and, as a result, attracted a few admirers. Elan was among them, and, no matter what, could not be dissuaded from following them. He carries a high-quality but shoddily repaired guitar and genuinely believes he's helping when he plays it at people.

:vaarsuvius: Somewhat mysterious engineer. Has to wear an environmental suit almost 24/7 due to extremely frail health; certainly looks rather pale and emanciated beneath. Not much is known about them, including age, past and gender, but they certainly are a very well-educated individual. Uses custom-built energy weapons and explosives to fight - probably with a little too much glee - and possesses a lot of old world knowledge, particularly in physics and mathematics. Claims not to care for the group's declared goals, but is certainly glad to tag along with them, if only because it provides ample opportunity for experimentation.

:belkar: Pretty obviously a former (well, sort-of-former) Raider. Grew up as a tribal, ended up rather short due to malnutrition. Roy's group originally thought he had been captured by the raiders, rather than having worked for them, and he hasn't corrected them on that. Roy probably at least suspects it by now - or it's sort of an open secret - but he's confident that he can do good by keeping Belkar pointed at the right people. In other words, he's too useful to kill and too dangerous to set loose. (Besides, the idea of just killing the little psychopath probably doesn't sit well with Roy.) Proud owner of a set of knives.

As for villains, well...

:xykon: Enclave, of course! A more-bloodthirsty-than-usual soldier, to be precise, analogous perhaps to that guy from Fallout 2. Led the group that slaughtered/drove away the inhabitants of Roy's family's village. Is being kept artificially alive by his custom-built set of power armour, being little more than a brain-in-a-jar underneath. Doesn't care much for tactics, mostly relies on his plasma rifle to fight (but don't underestimate him, it is VERY lethal).

:miko: Probably a Brotherhood of Steel knight - or paladin. It's fairly obvious, right?

:redcloak: Enclave scientist, I guess? Not sure how the Snarl/Dark One fits into all of this, to be honest. I guess you could make him like the villain from Van Buren and have him questing for the launch codes for an orbital weapons platform, which would allow them to eradicate most-of-what-is-left-of-non-Enclave-humanity.

Something like this, anyway.

Mammal

2013-06-09, 11:37 AM

Given the context, I don't think that really needed a spoiler tag.

Oh, I know, it was intended as a joke. And hey, maybe someone's only 100 pages into book one and the fact that 'everyone dies' jokes get tossed around is a quasi-spoiler.

But anyway, back to the cracky alternate universes!

Zombie Movie

The movie starts in a diner in a small, midwestern college town. Our protagonists initially survive by hiding inside the walk-in cooler, and eventually move to town hall, but are forced to leave after their position is compromised. The tense finale is the few remaining survivors fighting their way out of town, and the movie ends with our survivors, pursued by zombies, scattering into a cornfield with no real plan.

Roy played D2 football in college, but was permanently sidelined by a torn ACL during his sophomore year. Now he's a working stiff, but his office job isn't physically or intellectually stimulating. When the zombies first start attacking, he's almost relieved. He takes to the newly undead world like a duck to water, and naturally assumes a leadership position. However, the strain of the zombie apocalypse wears on him, and he eventually has a mental breakdown in the beginning of the third act after the death and zombification of his fiance. He throws open the doors of town hall and is eaten by zombies, forcing the other survivors to flee.

Haley is a recent college graduate working as a waitress. She grew up hunting with her father, and after the survivors find a cache of weapons in the police station en route to the town hall, she racks up the highest kill count of any of the survivors. It's her idea to hide inside the walk-in, but she's reluctant to leave when the others suggest it. She survives to the end of the film, and it's implied that she and her love interest, Elan, take refuge inside the barn at the end of the movie.

Elan works at the same diner as Haley. He's attractive but not conventionally intelligent. However, his familiarity with zombie movies lends him a sort of tactical genius. He never loses his optimistic attitude, even as people start to die. He's injured when a gun misfires inside the town hall, but still manages to escape with Haley when their position is overrun.

Durkon is the diner's owner. He's a gruff, soft-spoken man, and he cares for his staff as though they're his own family. He's lived in the small town for his entire life, and is the one to suggest hitting up the police station and taking refuge in the town hall, as there's a fully-stocked fallout shelter in the basement ("If it ca' hold off tha Ruskies, it ca' hold off tha undead!"). He dies en route to the town hall, which shakes the survivors to the core. His zombie is later seen among the hordes.

V is a graduate student at the local college. A close friend of Haley's, V hangs around at the diner when not in class, taking refuge in the walk-in when the zombies attack. V is unathletic and completely unprepared for a zombie apocalypse, and their obnoxious and overbearing manner leads to tension. However, V is also quick to suggest solutions, and makes it to the town hall alive. Roy insists, over V's protests, that they take a gun once they arrive at the town hall. V has no experience handling firearms, and their accidental discharge injures Elan, further alienating V from the main group. V dies when the town hall is overrun.

Belkar is an ex-con and a regular at the diner. He's rude and a bad tipper, but he knows his way around a gun, and proves to be a valuable ally when things get rough. Belkar spends a lot of the movie overtly hitting on Haley, Celia, and V (even though the latter is dumpy and somewhat androgynous). No one really likes him, but his criminal know-how is invaluable in "acquiring" guns from the police station and getting into the town hall. He survives to the end of the movie, and disappears into the cornfield, his fate unknown.

Celia is Roy's long-time fiance. They've been planning to get married "next spring" for at least four years, and despite several small squabbles over the course of the film, she and Roy genuinely love another. She's a practicing attorney with an eye on becoming a partner, and isn't prepared for the zombies. She's bitten as the group is leaving the police station, and her death and reanimation are the catalyst for Roy's breakdown.

EDIT: Khay, Fallout is pretty much one of my favorite series. Love your take on it!

EDIT 2: Coudln't resist adding more detail (read: the Azurites).

Daigo and Kazumi Kato are a married couple. They're both cops (though Kazumi is on maternity leave) and they took refuge in the police station when their neighborhood was overrun by zombies. They're also regulars at the diner, and good friends of Elan's. They're instrumental in convincing the rest of the police force to arm the survivors. They flee with the survivors to the town hall. Daigo is bitten when the town hall is overrun, and convinces Kazumi to leave him behind. Kazumi is implied to survive, along with Haley and Elan.

Miko Miyazaki is a stern police lieutenant. She's rigidly-by-the-books, and initially refuses to arm the survivors. Part of her reluctance stems from having (briefly) dated Roy. She knows him to be impulsive and (in her opinion) a bad leader. She says that nothing good can come of arming civilians, and she's right. She refuses to abandon the police station, until it's overrun and Hinjo, the chief of police, orders her to flee. After Celia dies and reanimates, she begins accusing everyone of hiding bites. She is bitten when the town hall is overrun, and the others abandon her to her fate.

Hinjo is the youngest chief of police in recent memory. Some would say he only landed the job due to nepotism (his uncle, Shojo, is the mayor), but he's calm, rational, and charismatic. He runs a tight ship, and agrees to arm the survivors after being convinced by Kazumi and Daigo. He begins to teach the survivors the basics of gun safety, but is interrupted when the police station is surrounded by zombies. He becomes the de-facto leader of the survivors after Roy's death, and apparently survives.

Shojo is the town's mayor. The survivors meet up with him in the town hall. He reveals that the zombie plague may have originated in the research labs of the local college. After Celia dies and reanimates, Miko accuses him of being bitten. She shoots and kills him, and it is revealed that he hadn't been bitten. Nevertheless, his corpse begins to reanimate, and bites Miko before the zombie can be destroyed.

ReaderAt2046

2013-06-09, 01:06 PM

Generic Startreky sort of sci-fi show

:roy: is Captain Greenhilt of the OOTS Stick, a small 5-6 man ship that flies around the Galactic Alliance doing freelance work to get by. Roy is very stern and law-abiding. Wields a plasma sword crafted by his grandfather, as lasbeam weapons do too much property damage. From the prosperous world of Cliffport, a major Alliance member.

:haley: is Commander Starshine, Roy's lieutenant. She is originally from Greysky, a planet in the Outworlds (the lawless fringe of planets on the edge of Alliance space). Due to this, she has very little respect for the law and has a tendency to steal small but valuable things. Wields a magbow with various specialty ammunitions, as lasguns are difficult to come by. Is romantically involved with Elan, but has not yet gotten around to marrying him despite reminders from various members of the crew.

:elan: is just Elan. He was born on a minor alliance world, and is a singer, entertainer, and has an encyclopedic knowledge of Alliance history. Wields a vibrorapier and is developing into an effective close-quarters fighter. Romantically involved with Commander Starshine.

:vaarsuvius: belongs to the Aelfinn, a hyper-intelligent race that was one of the early members of the Alliance. Fully asexual (the Aelfinn got rid of sex centuries ago, and now reproduce entirely using artificial methods), exceedingly intelligent, and as clueless as ever. Ship's science officer.

:durkon: is from a mining colony in an asteroid belt, where all of the members are "dwarfs" by human standards to conserve food and air and fit into the smaller tunnels. A priest of the Triune and a trained medic, serving as ship's doctor, counselor, chaplain, and occasional concience. If necessary, fights with a gravity hammer he took with him from the mines (gravity hammers are primarily used for pulverizing stone).

:belkar: is also a "dwarf", probably descended from a miner who made it offworld. He was picked up by Captain Greenhilt on one of the Outworlds after he wiped out most of the patrons of a bar. Captain Greenhilt offered him indefinite probation under his authority as an alternative to returning him to a civilized world and giving him to the law, which offer was accepted.

:xykon: was once a human scientist from one of the Outworlds. He transplanted his brain into a robotic body armed with multiple plasma cannons, and now looking for the Snarl, an ancient superweapon capable of ripping holes in spacetime that can destroy entire planets.

:redcloak: is X's lieutenant. Belongs to the G'blins, a race that has been at war with the Alliance for decades. Attempting to help X find the Snarl and get him to tear apart the Alliance.

:mitd: is as much a mystery to the Stick's crew as it is to us. Sheathed by an EM cloaker, which not only bends light to keep the creature hidden by darkness, but also scrambles any sensor Vaarsuvius has access to, keeping the thing's identity a mystery.

:nale: is the captain of the OOTS Linear, a craft that has been a nuisance to the Stick for several seasons. No match for Captain Greenhilt in a straight fight, either personally or ship-to-ship, but clever and dangerous if underestimated.

:sabine: is Captain Nale's second-in-command. She belongs to the Succubi, a rare species so named because they can emit pheromones that induce mindless lust in almost all known species. In addition, their saliva, sweat, and other bodily fluids are an extremely powerful contact narcotic, far more addictive then cocaine or heroin.

:thog: is one of the Orks, a race created by some geneticist in the past as soldiers. Super-strong, super-tough, violent, and almost mindless, these things have become the premium bruisers of the Outworlds. Serves as Captain Nale's muscle.

Shojo is the governor of Azul, a major alliance world that the Stick has worked out of several times. Despite being apparently senile, he somehow manages to get his certificate of sanity renewed every time someone tries to remove him on grounds of mental health, and he gets reelected by huge majorities, as his "Meatloaf Policy" and other populist actions have won him the favor of the citizenry. Keeps the Azul PACs off-balance by confusing and contradictory behavior. While he'll happily accept bribes, this does not seem to make him any more likely to do what you want, so nobody tries it anymore.

Hinjo is Shojo's nephew and will probably succeed him as Governor. As acting head of the Sapphire Guard and the AZPD, he's established a reputation for being hard but fair. Often hires the Stick, as they can carry out justice more or less unaffected by Shojo's latest inane decree.

Miko is a member of the Sapphire Guard, Azul's FBI/CIA/KGB. Very uptight, and has had to go in for psychiatric evaluation several times.

jidasfire

2013-06-09, 03:43 PM

A couple more for Jidasfire's Legion scenario:

Ninjagirl: Real name unknown, occasionally goes by 'Therkla' when off the clock. Rumored to be tied somehow to the Crimson Commander. The Honorable Enemy, who works for any number of disreputable bosses for reasons as yet unknown. Militantly opposed by...

The Annointed: Miko Miyazaki developed superpowers with a celestial theme, and became a super-vigilante enforcing the law by any means necessary (generally by killing whoever she deems guilty). Known powers include swords of blue flame, some kind of protective aura and a mystically summoned blue motorcycle that appears to be an intelligent lifeform the she calls Windstriker. The Callous Good Guy, has numerous similarities with Belkar's God of War, which pisses them both off. Their last face off pretty much destroyed a mini mall.

Cool, I'm glad I managed to inspire this! Also, I have to say this thread is a lot of fun. Let's see if I can come up with a few more superheroes/villains.

Zz'dtri is Whizzper, a silent assassin in service of Master Planner. With the power to become one with shadow and darkness itself, Whizzper can usually kill without being seen or heard. He harbors a particular hatred for the Elven Torch.

Tsukiko is Deathdoll, a gothy gangster moll with a crush on Energy Drain. Her immunity to his radiation and the massive arsenal she carries on her at all times (which she claims never runs out of ammo) make her just useful enough for Energy Drain not to kill. When the master villain needs dirty work done away from his island, Deathdoll is who he sends to do it.

Julio Scoundrel is El Scoundrel, a Zorro-esque hero known for toppling corrupt regimes, businesses, and other organizations which pass themselves off as legitimate. He has no powers, but his massive wealth, training, and gadgets more than make up for it. His gear tends to be named after himself, e.g. the Scoundrelplane, Scoundrelrangs, etc.

Soon Kim is Unbreakable, a Superman-esque hero with the powers of flight, strength, and invulnerability. His unwavering dedication to following his own code of honor is at least partly responsible for the dissolution of the Legion of the Scribble. After his death, some say his ghost still defends Azure City.

Dorukan is Doctor Impossible, a super-genius scientist. A child prodigy who grew into one of the most talented inventors in history, Doctor Impossible eventually retired from heroism and went into the security business, designing prisons and installations affectionately known as Dungeons, given how inescapable they were. His use of uncrackable CLOISTER technology remained classified and hidden until it was stolen by Energy Drain.

Lirian is Druidess, a highly skilled botanist who combined her scientific knowledge with mysticism and gained the power to speak to nature itself. She now serves as the protector of the natural world, and may call upon nature itself in all its forms, from the largest predators and weather phenomena, to the tiniest microorganisms. Her sacred grove was burned under mysterious circumstances, though traces of radiation were found there.

Girard Draketooth is Agent Drake, a spymaster and former government agent. Skilled at subterfuge, deceit, and misdirection, he originally went rogue and left the government to join the Legion of the Scribble, finding them more trustworthy. Eventually, however, he decided that they too could not be trusted, and has since gone underground to form his own spy organization.

Kraagor is Kra-Gor, a barbarian warrior from a lost civilization nestled in Antarctica. Kra-Gor, raised to battle against dinosaurs and other impossibly strong creatures, is himself as powerful as these creatures, and his honest, down-to-Earth demeanor was often seen as the glue that held his team together.

Serini Toormuck is Sherry Tate, girl reporter. While not a full-fledged hero, her nose for a scoop often served to help the Legion of the Stick solve mysteries they otherwise could not. Skilled with a hairpin lockpick and the power to think on her feet, she was often considered the unofficial sixth member of the Legion of the Scribble. She kept detailed journals of all their adventures and hid most of the important data in heavily encrypted files. Her whereabouts are currently unknown.

Madfellow

2013-06-09, 06:21 PM

Continuing the Legion of the Stick:

Lien is Tidal Wave, a member of the ACPD who gained telepathic control over water and aquatic creatures after a freak accident in a marine biology lab. She wields a harpoon as her primary weapon and is often accompanied in combat by Razor, a great white shark that serves as her steed and battle companion. She has made it her goal to defend the shores of Azure City from any and all threats.

Sgt. Cookie

2013-06-09, 07:39 PM

Order of the Shock Stick
(Cyberpunk)

:roy: More machine than man, Roy has only three rules for the job: Do it quickly. Do it quietly. Keep the bodycount low. With all sorts of augs ranging from sub dermal armour and trioxidine bone lacing to implanted circulatory regulators, Roy is not a man you should mess with. More than a few gangers have found out the hard way.

:haley: Of all the team, Haley is the least augmented, packing only an Implanted targeting computer and an adrinal regulator, Haley is the best damn marksmen this side of Chicago. She joined up after she got into a firefight with Roy, after 4 minuites and 12 seconds (targeting computer) it was clear that while she'd win, the corp's private army would drown her in bullets if they continued.

:elan: Don't let his goofball tendencies put you off guard, he comes equipped with a mark XIV Reflex Enhancer, meaning that your own ghost won't recognise you past the stab wounds. Like Roy, he has Subdermal Armour, but only on his torso, to free up his limbs. He also has a pheromone coupler, activated by a specific frequency and tone created by his vocal harmoniser. If he starts singing, bet your arse that his allies are gonna be tougher to kill.

:vaarsuvius: If it exists, V can hack it. From a false "officer down" call, to millitary grade balistic missiles. If it's connected to the net, V can and will find it, crack it and use it to his advantage. Shares his head with a Blackwing model AI, who uses a Raven as an avatar. Mind this one, as he's converted his entire body to be a living computer, who hacks your gear with as much thought as it takes to move a hand.

:durkon: From what we gather, he's in exile from Scotland, it's not a "legal" exile (As in, it was not court mandated), but it's not self imposed. He's a master of the medical arts, emergency, long term, hell, even dental if you believe the rumours. According to on the scene agents, Durkon is in possession of a +Energy model nanite swarm, that enables him to perform his "Miracle Healing". He's far from above fighting himself, prefering a Warhammer model shotgun.

:belkar: Belkar has been clinicaly diagnosed as a psycopath, having murdered two dozen soldiers with a pair of tungusten/titanium alloy combat knives. He shows no outward battle damage, but soldiers and agents alike have stated they have seen him in battle on at least 735 combat situations (this number only accounts for battles witnessed by two or more soldiers. If we include unverified accounts, this number reaches the thousands.). He is rumoured to possess a type IV combat accelerant, which, still according to rumour, has been altered by the Paladin corporation, removing Belkar's control and instead giving it to Roy; which also includes a "kill switch", causing it to deactivate, forcing Belkar into withdrawal from lack of Carcio-9.

davidbofinger

2013-06-09, 09:40 PM

War Movie: A mix of spies and special forces, like Inglorious Basterds or Where Eagles Dare.

:roy: Northern English, Captain in the SAS. Father is a famous pilot from the Great War. Commander of Force Stick. Usual weapon is a light machine gun.

:durkon: Norwegian, can't go home because the nazis are occupying his country. Doctor/Surgeon/Medic who doesn't mind violence. Alcohol problem.

:haley: Austrian. Mercenary spy and assassin hired by Special Operations Executive. Originally fought only for her pay but has gradually come to identify with the allied cause generally and Force Stick specifically. Sniper rifle.

:elan: Home Counties English Upper-Class Twit. Volunteered for army, recruited by Roy in a moment of confusion. Is writing a novel based on his experiences in the army.

:vaarsuvius: American Jewish Demolitions expert who just loves explosions. Degree in chemistry from Harvard. Probably a woman pretending to be a man, but possibly a man pretending to ... oh, never mind. Rather frail due to long-term effects of sniffing too many chemicals in bomb factories. Dreams of the atom bomb.

:belkar: Former member of the SA, a nazi paramilitary organisation suppressed by Hitler. He survived the Night of the Long Knives somehow and now works for the allies though all his sympathies are with the nazis. Fights with a machine pistol in each hand.

:xykon: Nazi scientist, does experiments on concentration camp victims. Initially looking for a cure to his wasting disease, now just wants to create a horde of perfect soldiers to conquer the world.

:miko: French fanatic. Wants to slaughter Germans, Russians, most British, anyone who isn't exactly like the French.

:redcloak: Nazi reichscommissar, Heydrich type.

Tsukiko: Vichy French collaborator obsessed by Xykon, who despises non-Germans but is willing to use her.

Shojo: French general.

Hinjo: French resistance leader.

Bogardan_Mage

2013-06-10, 12:51 AM

I once had an idea for the Order as a Call of Cthulhu party. It was mostly jokes like "I think I failed a Spot Hidden check" and after no more than one page the entire cast is insane and/or dead, but let's go through the various roles:

:roy: is ex-military, because someone always plays an ex-military character. Much like his original appearance, he subverts most of this stereotype, although his down to earth worldview leaves him unprepared for most of the setting.

:vaarsuvius: is an occulist obsessed with discovering the true nature of the cosmos. S/he's therefore already a little unstable, but has the best Cthulhu Mythos score of the party.

:belkar: is a bounty hunter. He's a little sensitive about how low he rolled on his SIZ score.

:durkon: is a doctor. Like Roy, he's down to earth but he has a better SAN score so he holds up better in the face of things man was not meant to know.

:haley: is still a thief. She's usually the voice of reason when it comes to facing mythos monsters ("run away") but she seems to have some reason hidden in her backstory for why she's still sticking around.

:elan: is a small-time entertainer who is secretly the High Priest of Banjulhu.

Team Evil didn't appear in my original concept, but there's probably any number of mythos creatures that would suit Xykon. Redcloak could be either a member of a servitor race or simply a human cultist.

F.Harr

2013-06-12, 12:03 PM

Well, THIS is fun!

Although, I don't see why Redcloak wouldn't be a Native American (I'm actually saying that?) in the Western parody.

"Captain Greenhilt of the OOTS Stick"

It should be the OOT Stick. Three letters in mandatory. It stands for "Owner/Opertated Transport". And it's yellow.

Sir_Leorik

2013-06-12, 12:21 PM

Although, I don't see why Redcloak wouldn't be a Native American (I'm actually saying that?) in the Western parody.

I thought about just having He-Who-Wears-The-Red-Cloak be a (thoroughly educated) Native American, but wasn't sure how that would be received so I used Goblins. It might work, with Redcloak's tribe being called the Goublinez. Maybe I'll change it if there is no negative feedback.

Mammal

2013-06-12, 01:32 PM

I would say that fabricating your own nation is in somewhat poor taste, but it would be fine to say he's Native in the western setting. I think Redcloak's a complex enough character that "casting" him as Native is obviously not just falling back on old stereotypes. Here's a map (http://www.learner.org/interactives/historymap/indians.html) that shows different nations by region, if you want to get a little more specific.

Rogar Demonblud

2013-06-12, 03:31 PM

ReaderAt2046

2013-06-13, 08:43 AM

No, no, it's Owner Operated Transport Ship, hence OOTS.

Exactly! You are brilliant.

Copperdragon

2013-06-14, 01:14 AM

The 80s Action Movie
(Think Arnold)

Roy Major Gregor McMarcman, ex elite commando, did his solo rounds in Vietnam, has gotten lots of medals. Now he retired as something peaceful and has a family.
Colonel Xykon abducts his daughter for reasons unknown to us (we stopped paying attention to the plot like five minutes after it got stupid (minute 6 of the movie)) and now the Major gets out his old guns.

Haley the major's daughter. She has no real role beyond a) showing how awesome her relationship with his father is, b) in that scene, she has some artificial laugh, c) she gets kidnapped.

Elan the comic relief who annoys the Major. He's some car salesman the Major meets early in the movie and then later there's a car chase where Elan clings to his seat and screams stuff while the Major drives, rams, and shoots the bad guys (while spewing awesome/cheesy oneliners each time a badguy dies in an especially spectacular way). Chances are high Elan wets his pants AFTER the chase is over.

Durkon An old friend of the Major, probably some superiour from "back then", who's now general or retired general (probably the latter). Between to chases/shootings, he informs the Major where the Bad Guy (Colonel Xykon) is to be found. Chances are high he gets shot during that conversation (by Xykon's mooks, of course).

Vaarsuvius some geek caricature who knows "computers and stuff" and who is once visited by the Major and once threatened with physical pain he'll hack out where Xykon is hiding his rogue-military-force. He has no further use in the plot.

Belkar another soldier the major knows from "back then". He's a somewhat insane mercenary who likes shooting and blowing stuff up. He's doing just that, but instead of thinking he's evil (he is), he comes over as good buddy who helps out to shoot all the bad guys. He's getting a crisp oneliner which anchors itself in pop-culture for the next 20 years.
Just before the end, he's getting a harmless wound in the shoulder (flesh wound!) which is not really dangerous but gives the excuse the Major faces Colonel Xykon alone.

Xykon Colonel Xykon. Once a good soldier (meaning he killed a lot of people with the Major in Vietnam) but now he has gone rouge (meaning he still does that, just not without Uncle Sams backing anymore - which is why Durkon send the Major to get him... wait... wasn't there something with the daughter...? Hey, who cares, Arnie Roy the Major blows stuff up!)

Redcloak The Colonel's new Major, he's an ugly guy (probably from some non-caucausian race and you could spot a bit racism if you wanted to) and totally brutal. In that way, he's the same as any soldier or ex-soldier (including the Major) in this movie, but, well, this one is brutal and eeevil, yes? Accept this guy is some brutal guy who needs to be killed and the Major (with the same shady past in Vietnam and a much higher body count) is the good guy.

Lots of stuff blows up and in the end, all evil guys have gotten their deaths and one-liners. Durkon is probably dead as well, Haley, the idealistic (hot) reporter and romantic interest the Major met is rescued and can now write her stuff about Colonel Xykon and other evil guys to expose their evils to the Daily Planet, Elan is probably around and gets one final joke out. The colonel got a last, honourable fight (and lost when he tried something dishonorable) and Redcloak (wearing an actual red cloak) probably died in some humiliating (totally outperformed, kicked in the nuts) or especially brutal way (like a closeup of a combat knife going in his eye and then falling down and getting impaled on an iron spike, thrown into a woodchipper/car compactor or so).

(The 80s were awesome! :smalltongue:)

ReaderAt2046

2013-06-14, 08:04 AM

More characters for the Sci-fi OOTS scheme:

Tarquin is from the Weztron Cluster, a group of Outworlds separated from any Alliance realm by a vast nebula. He was just a warlord until very recently, when he won a series of vicious campaigns that united five worlds in the Weztron Cluster under his banner, founding the Empire of Blood. Currently, the Alliance is forbidding him membership, but there are periodic debates on whether to change that stance. Periodically hires the Linear for purposes both ineffable and effable.

Dorukan was a genius scientist and inventor, and was one of the six original discoverers of the Snarl. He defended one of its five control stations with advanced brainwave-based locks and layered shielding and non-comm fields. Defeated by X in battle, but neither X nor Redcloak could hack the brainwave locks, and after several attempts, the station self-destructed.

Soon was the governor of Azul two before Shojo. He relocated one of the five Snarl control stations to Azul orbit, and built a new Sapphire Guard HQ around it (literally around it). Died of old age.

Lirian belonged to the Faen, a race created when a significant portion of the Aelfinn population broke off from the main race over what the Aelfinn's choice to devote themselves fully to science. As a result, the Faen retain their sexual characteristics (since the Aelfinn abandoned gender some centuries after abandoning art, religion, and dreams) and tend to be rather mystical. Lirian landed her Snarl control station in the Glade Forest on one of the Weztron planets and defended it with an army of genetically engineered plants and animals. Died when X's plasma cannons started a wildfire, which also melted the control circuits of the station.

Girard was a top-notch spy and agent, and a genius at building cloaking and hologrammic fields. He allegedly hid his station somewhere in the Weztron Cluster behind a virtually unbreakable cloaking screen, but no one's heard from him or any of his agents for decades.

F.Harr

2013-06-14, 12:14 PM

You guys know I'm going to print all of this nonsence out, right?

I thought about just having He-Who-Wears-The-Red-Cloak be a (thoroughly educated) Native American, but wasn't sure how that would be received so I used Goblins. It might work, with Redcloak's tribe being called the Goublinez. Maybe I'll change it if there is no negative feedback.

It's so hard to know nowadays, isn't it?

No, no, it's Owner Operated Transport Ship, hence OOTS.

It's got to be three letters. No more, no less. USS Enterpise. NCC 1701. HMS Pinnafore. SMS. Prinz Eugen. It just fits. Besides, "ship" is redundent.

O.K., I'm done being a jerk about it. Sorry.

I would say that fabricating your own nation is in somewhat poor taste, but it would be fine to say he's Native in the western setting. I think Redcloak's a complex enough character that "casting" him as Native is obviously not just falling back on old stereotypes. Here's a map (http://www.learner.org/interactives/historymap/indians.html) that shows different nations by region, if you want to get a little more specific.

Ooo. Map.

O.K., my turn.

Midevle Romance.

:roy: Roy: The scion of a family that had been working it way up the feudal ladder over the last few generations and his father had abanded that to pursue a life of philosophy. Roy is now struggling to regain a fifedom from his king but, at the same time, to live his life in a moral and philosophical manner consistant with his role as a warrior.

:durkon: Durkon: Roy's oldest friend and first teacher. A former monk (NOT Benedictine), he moved to a more active vocation because he felt that his talants were better used among the people. He tried being a parish priest but his expereince as a soldier before taking holy orders pre-disposed him to others of that experience, like Roy. A little more worldly than most of this fellows, he has free-wheading and practical interpretation of his faith and maintains the ability to take two people squabbling over nothing and bang their heads together until they're ready to listen to reason. Also strangely up on the anchient and somewhat suspect healing arts. Also willing to listen to the experience of other physitians, pofessional an not.

[Edit: Also, used to be an Icelandic devotee of Thor.]

:haley: Haley: A former pick-pocket and house-breaker turned confidence trickster, she scrupiously avoided hurting anyone who couldn't afford it. She was finally caught by Roy as he was administering law and justice in a small county town for an old friend of his. He was impressed with her people skills and sympethetic to her story of poverty and struggle. He made a deal with her, if she would act as his concience and manage his supporters, he would use her advice and knowledge to help as many people as possible in a world where land was wealth and power and the economy was less vibrant than it could have been.

:elan: Elan, a troubador, from Provance even, who Haley took a shine to and convinced Roy to hire as his rout into courts and organisations that he might not otherwise have access to. Everyone likes a bit of a tune.

:vaarsuvius: Vaarsuvius: A frustrated alchemist who still has a good practical knowledge of chemistry and physics despite the tight control on such knowledge. I don't know if V should be a magician ala Merlin Le Mort d'Author or just a struggling academic trying to bring the light of reason to a world that has forgotten it in its own problems.

:belkar: Belkar: A small and small-time ruffian with none-the-less a stellar fighting record in the many formal matches he's been in. Known as a "crippler" among wrestlers, he can only find work with people who have things to guard and no real care for others' lives. Invited by Roy into his fledgling "order" out of recognition of his prowess and a desire to not have to hang the little bastard.

:redcloak: Redcloak: Your opresed European minority of choice. Basque, Welsh, Friesian, Ruthenian, Wallachian what have you. Grew up wanting more for his people, he decided the best way to achieve liberty was to pick some tough illiterate guy who wasn't very smart and push him to be king. With himself as chancellor, secretary of state and chief advisor.

:xykon: Xykon: The tough illiterate Redcloak picked. But that didn't mean he was stupid. Indeed, although careless about others and superficially very charming, he has a cunning that may or may not exceed Redcloak's.

:miko: Miko: Fresh from the crusades and ready to unleash some holy hell. If only she can find someone worthy of her services.

:nale: The "Nail": The leader of a small, "elite" band of mercinaries who uses a mixture of braggado, blackmail and simple flim-flamery to got people to pay him to start fighting and then pay him to stop.

:sabine: Sabine: the usual source of the blackmail.

Shojo: An independent duke with the unenviable task of being an old man in charge of a bunch of young men who's job in life it is to fight off invaders and manage agriculture. Uses cunning and the growing power of the towns to hold back those who would pick fights and start wars out of shear boredom.

Celia: Roy's love-interest that you need because you need a love story and a "higher" reason to do stuff in mideval romances. Very smart and educated.

"War Movie: A mix of spies and special forces, like Inglorious Basterds or Where Eagles Dare. . ."

It's all good, but as a guy who studied a lot of Central and Eastern Europe, I just have to say, "oo, neat".

So, oo, neat.

Mammal

2013-06-14, 01:17 PM

I do so love maps.

Coming-Of-Age movie

:haley: The heroine of our book, clever and loyal but not conventionally intelligent. She's been offered a soccer scholarship to OSU (Out of State University, but due to her poor grades, she might not graduate high school in time to accept it. Her dad doesn't want her to go away after she graduates, and Haley's torn between chasing her dreams and being loyal to her dad.

Haley struggles in school and has some authority issues, which she expresses through vandalism and petty theft. Nevertheless, she's got a good heart. She's the kind of person who would steal your plastic flamingos, but would never smash your kid's pumpkins on Halloween.

:elan: Haley's love interest. He used to play trombone, but somehow ended up in color guard instead, and he twirls flags with the best of them. He's got a GPA even lower than Haley's, but worries about it a lot less. They've been friends for a long time, but Haley has a hard time being honest with him. She goes to great lengths to conceal her crappy home life and shoplifting habit from him.

:roy: Elan's best friend tutor. He and Elan are really good friends, but Roy's involvement with his many extracurricular activities (he's NHS [National Honors Society] vice president, on the math team, plays percussion in the pit orchestra, plays soccer, basketball, and runs track, does freshman orientation, etc.) and doesn't always have time to hang out.

:vaarsuvius: Haley's best friend and tutor. Almost as busy as Roy, but with different activities (fewer sports, for one). The kind of person who argues vehemently that being on the chess team makes them an athlete. V's been in a relationship with the same person since freshman year, and gives Haley romantic advice.

:durkon: He teaches the one class Haley has an 'A' in: shop. Gruff and somewhat impersonal, he nevertheless gives excellent advice and listens without judging. He's the one who nudges Haley back on track when she starts to slip, academically.

:belkar: One of two kids in the grade to spend more time in In-School-Suspension than Haley. As such, they have a kind of camaraderie, even though she really doesn't like him all that much. Through his association with Haley, he hangs out with the rest of the kids.

:xykon: The only kid in the grade to spend more time in In-School-Suspension than either Haley and Belkar. He's been picking on Roy since elementary school (even though Roy has gotten huge in the interim) and gives Haley no end of greif for hanging out with him. He's genuinely frightening and possibly unhinged.

:redcloak: Xykon's best "friend." The NHS treasurer and captain of the cross-country running team, he's trying to break away from Xykon, but it's not going to be as easy as making some new friends.

:miko: The President of NHS, captain of the soccer team, and all-around pain-in-the-ass. She thinks Haley is trashy and stupid, and pushes her around as much as she can. She frequently butts heads with Roy and Redcloak during NHS meetings. She's also on Student Council and usually tries to implement strict policies regarding appropriate conduct during school dances. No one likes her all that much.

EDIT: I think this is the least functional branch of the NHS ever depicted in fiction. The entire movie could be about how the National Honor Society was slowly torn apart by petty in-fighting.

F.Harr

2013-06-14, 01:33 PM

Maps are greaat.

". . .EDIT: I think this is the least functional branch of the NHS ever depicted in fiction. The entire movie could be about how the National Honor Society was slowly torn apart by petty in-fighting."

Sounds like a concept. Let's get funding! Will Wheaton can play. . . Something.

"Out of State University"

That goes with "Not Just Another State" as a state motto in the list of fabulous things.

F.Harr

2013-06-16, 07:15 AM

Oo-Ooo! PIRATES!

:roy: Roy: Wrongfully accused of embezzelment and diversion of Naval resources to the black market, young Lt. Cmdr. Greenhilt escapes capture and certain conviction and a life of imprisonment and shame to clear his own name. But, to make ends meet, he has to commit piracy hoping against hope that he swing this into letters of marque and a parden if his country is ever at war again.

However, he isn't very good at theft and his tendency to hold people for ransom for whatever pocket change they happen to have has caused many crew members to leave his service in search of more lucritive vessles. Over time and several ship down-grades, he's a small inner circle to keep him from getting in his own way.

:haley: Haley: Rightfully accused of embezzelment and divesion of property and resources to the black market, Haley is from the penal colony of Georgia and says frequently, "Just because I grew up surrounded by crooks doesn't mean I am one", but her father gave her a firm grounding in lock-picking, pocket-picking and confidence-tricking. And, worst of all, double-entery bookkeeping. Haley joined up with Roy figuring advising him for a commission on top of her officer bonus was less work than stealing her own money.

:elan: Elan: Local musician who wandered aboard one day and got lost trying to get off. He's overly excited about the whole pirate thing and people often have forcably stop him from using too much eye shadow, growing dreadlocks, talking in mixed catchphrases and singign loud boistrous songs about how quiet everyone is while sneaking up on people. Often wants to let orphans go scott free and people have to keep reminding him that they're not that kind of pirates, i.e. stupid.

:durkon: Durkon: Not a pirate per se, but more pirate ajacent. He grew to like Roy in a tavern and volunteered to serve on his ship not quite understanding what the ship does on a regular basis. But it wouldn't have mattered if he did because all he really wants to do is heal people he likes rather than those bastards in the army. Keeps trying to get people to eat more citrus.

:vaarsuvius: V: A hydrolic engineer and ship designer who keeps wanting to experiment with the ship's hull and sails and, frigheningly, cannons. Roy puts up with the nine bad ideas because the tenth is usually a pip. Of course, since the "noodle incident" there is now a project review stage where the more wildly impractical suggestions are summerily rejected, much to V's annoyance.

:belkar: Belkar: A vicious little thug in need of a job and Roy's the only one who'd been able to hold his attention and loyalty for more than ten minutes at a time.

:miko: Miko: One time Privateer and current Pirate hunter. Has no concept of the delecate moral calculous required of those two professions and whatever she does, she does 100% and with no restraint.

:xykon: Xykon: An admirial in Roy's old service, Xykon is the linchpin in the plot to frame Roy and the key to getting his good name back. Xykon didn't even who who was being framed, so Roy comes as a compleat surprise.

:redcloak: Redcloak was a local guy in a small town and felt that people from hid colony simply couldn't get a fair shake. So he decidedto steal from the "motherland" (which he always puts in quotes).

:nale: An actual effective pirate.

Celia: A governor's daughter. Think Olivia de Haviland in Captain Blood.

F.Harr

2013-06-16, 07:36 AM

And now: Classical Myth!

:roy: Roy: A local land-lord who got out of the Trojan War by pointing out that he was never one of Helen's suiters and didn't see why he should go kill perfecty innocent people for her. He then later pointed out that if they continued to press him, he was going to out think Achillies, out wresstle Odyssious and out lead Agamemnon until they all agreed to just leave him alone. Sadly, Agamemnon took him up on his chalange.

:belkar: Belkar: Roy's leadership challange. If he can successfully lead this little terror to destroy the evil monster Xykon, the Acheans will go to Troy without him.

:haley: Haley: more of Roy's leadership challange. Claims to be an Amazon who was cast out because she didn't want to "desicrate such a bodacious rack". She (claims she) tried to serve in various causes but no one, in her words, "trusts a two-breasted Amazon". But no one is sure as things keep disapearing around her. But she always has a decent excuse.

:elan: Elan: A poet who was looking forward to writing up the adventures against the Trojans, an inveterate goofball who is yet more of Roy's leadership challange.

:vaarsuvius: V: A magician and minor prophet of Zeus, who V can emplore to zap the unrightious. Lone among those who the gods themselves have cursed V is perfectly lucid and believable, but is so long winded, people have stopped listening by the time V gets to the point. I get the feeling Aggie was just piling folks on until Roy stopped saying "That's nothing" and started saying "UNCLE!".

:durkon: Durkon: Not part of Roy's leadership challange but might as well be. He's a foreigner with a thick accent and "inconvininet" gods and Roy's best friend. He learned the healing arts from the wisest of the Centaurs and the drinking arts from the least wise of the Centaurs. All pleading asside, he decided Roy simply couldn't be made to shoulder the burden alone.

:xykon: Xykon: The monster at the end of Roy's quest.

:redcloak: Redcloak: The monster's brain-trust.

:miko: Miko: A fighter and champion for Troy who wants Roy, as a potential game-changer in the Greek invasion, dead, dead, dead. Sadly absent during the vital episodes of the war.

:nale: Nale: Achean who decided it would be more enjoyable to kill his poet brother and his frequent harrassing amounts to a further chalange of Roy's leadership abilities.

Rogar Demonblud

2013-06-17, 09:50 AM

It's got to be three letters. No more, no less. USS Enterprise. NCC 1701. HMS Pinafore. SMS Prinz Eugen. It just fits. Besides, "ship" is redundant.

Refuted. SS Titanic and USNS Comfort, plus many, many others. Also, if 'ship' is redundant, then you have US Enterprise, HM Pinafore, SM Prinz Eugen. NCC 1701 is a hull/construction number, BTW.

F.Harr

2013-06-17, 01:16 PM

Refuted. SS Titanic and USNS Comfort, plus many, many others. Also, if 'ship' is redundant, then you have US Enterprise, HM Pinafore, SM Prinz Eugen. NCC 1701 is a hull/construction number, BTW.

I WAS talking about fiction, really. But fine, be reasonable. You're right, of course. But we're all agreed that it should be yellow, right? Because you find "O/O" on taxis.

Anyway, Nale in my Pirate Epic is trying to create a pirate navy, and think his idiot brother is standing in the way. Also, in the Classical Myth epic, Miko's obcession with Roy leads her to not be present at that crutial point when Hector is fighting Achilies and thus Roy trying to get out of the fight leads Troy to be missing part of their team.

Purgatorius

2013-06-20, 09:35 AM

Generic Inspirational Childrens' Movie ...

[…]

Xykon […] Currently he seeks to build a casino on the site of Elan's favorite guitar-playing meadow,

:smallfurious: This means war!!

But this is also a really fun thread! :smallbiggrin:

F.Harr

2013-06-20, 12:23 PM

:smallfurious: This means war!!

But this is also a really fun thread! :smallbiggrin:

Ain't it just.

Anyway, political Thriller!

:roy: Roy: A brand new Senator from a small state you never heard of, he has dreams of a better future where sapient Americans of all species can boldly walk together in freedom and equality and not get smushed by the "big guy".

:belkar: Belkar: Um. . . A vishious little thug who. . . has wormed his way into the Capital Police. . . and then. . . was fired and became a "fixer" of problems????

:haley: Haley: A freelance tabloid journalist who might just give this "respectible journalism" thing a try.

:elan: Elan: An enthusiastic junior member of Roy's staff who's just so THRILLED to be in WASHINGTON. No one can quite figure out where he's from or who hired him. The popular theory is that he was on a tour and just got so excited he never left.

:vaarsuvius: V: Staffer of the CBO and inveterate polymath. He writes long-winded analysies and then has to get someone else to write his one-page summery, because that's what people actually read.

:durkon: Durkon: Senator Pro Tempore, his entire working life we spent AT the Senate, either as a page, a staffer, a chaplain or as a Senator. He talks so fast, it's hard to know what just hit you.

:xykon: Xykon: Speaker of the House and represntative of Roy's District and unsure about all this "equality for non-human sapients" nonsens. Would he have to ask for votes from OGRES then?

:redcloak: Redcloak: A rare bird, a goblin polititian, RC is whip in the House for Xykon's party and only want's goblins' rights enhanced to a point of theoretical "equality".

:miko: Miko: Overbearing Parliamentarian.

:nale: Nale: Lobiest for hire. Has actually represented both sides of an issue. Frequently.

Shojo: Former president who just never moved away.

Yes, I know that the common-law deffinition of a "person" includes any potential non-human sapients. I'm not sure if the arc just needs to be re-written. I don't want to make this Democrat vs. Republican, that's just so tacky. It sounded nice in my head.

F.Harr

2013-06-23, 04:14 PM

Anyone want to try a bodice-ripper? Perhaps with Roy as the starwart and ineptly-aided highlander and Celia as the overly-cultured and able-to-take-care-of-herself lowlander?

Mammal

2013-06-23, 09:41 PM

Pulpy Detective Novel

:haley: Our heroine, a former drug mule and police informant turned private investigator. She's not afraid to bend (or outright break) rules to get answers, and her underworld contacts make her the best in the business.

:elan: Her naive boyfriend, a singer at a night club. Haley feels it's her duty to protect Elan, because there's a lot of unscrupulous people out there, looking to take advantage of innocent (read:doltish) people like Elan.

:roy: Haley's contact within the police department. Exasperated with her antics, he nonetheless considers Haley a valuable resource for crime-solving, now that they're (mostly) on the same side of the law.

:durkon: The police chaplain, a close friend and confidant of Haley's. He's pushing her to break ties with her old life of crime, even though that would put a damper on her business.

:vaarsuvius: A crime scene photographer and another of her contacts within the police. V is the one to call Haley to the scene if the crime is particularly odd, or in need of some "outside help."

:belkar: Someone Haley knew in her old life. He's a ruthless little bastard with ties to local gangs, but he knows how to stay just on this side of the line. He's an invaluable source of knowledge for Haley, because he always knows a guy who knows a guy.

:xykon: A crooked district attorney with a very real criminal history. He's playing the "reformed con" act for political gain, but it's a matter of time before his sociopathic tendencies leak through his schmoozy persona.

:redcloak: The police department's misanthropic coroner. He's seen it all, and nothing surprises him any more. He fudges autopsies and "looses" papers and evidence for Xykon, who has some sort of dirt on him, other than his collection of anarchist pamphlets.

F.Harr

2013-06-24, 01:43 PM

Ooo. Haley-centered.

Does Elan wear sequined costumes?

Mammal

2013-06-24, 07:48 PM

Ooo. Haley-centered.

Does Elan wear sequined costumes?

Of course he does! I realize, I also wrote up a thing where Elan was in color guard, and presumably, he'd also wear shiny, sequined costumes. Now I want to write one where he's a figure skater...

EDIT: I googled 'color guard costumes' and found this (http://www.styleplusband.com/closeout/elan-vest.html). I think it's a sign.

ReaderAt2046

2013-06-24, 09:30 PM

OOTS in... THE HEROES OF OLYMPUS!!!

:roy: is a legacy of Mars. Inheriting not only the usual gifts of enhanced weaponskill and physical ability, but a double portion of the Martian gift of strategy, Roy leads a small band of praeventores (elite soldiers that operate outside the Legions as spies and assassins, hunting down and picking off monsters) known colloquially as The Order Of The Stick. Wields a massive two-handed Imperial Gold sword.

:haley: is a legacy of Mercury, an excellent archer, and Roy's second in command. She suffers from the kleptomaniac tendencies inherent in a legacy of the thief god, but manages them pretty well. There are some rumors that her mother was an ex-Huntress of Diana, and that her archery skills at least partially spring from that source. Romantically involved with Elan, and claims that she'll marry him as soon as the Order returns to Camp Jupiter. Uses a variety of magical arrows.

:elan: is the son of Roman!Apollo, and has inherited his father's talent (and obsession) with poetry. Indeed, his songs seem at times to take on magical power. As clueless and sunny as ever, but gradually developing into an effective praeventore. Recently has begun to develop an exotic combat style derived from his father's dramatic nature and the wielding of an Imperial Gold rapier.

:vaarsuvius: is... something. The child of Hecate/Trivia (which of the two pantheons V springs from is as ambiguous as V's gender), V has lent V's vast talents with magic to the services of the Order, but Roy still does not trust V entirely, and has not given V the location of Camp Jupiter or marked V as part of the Legion.

:durkon: is a double legacy, descending from Jupiter on one side (from which he gains the power to call lightning) and from Mors on the other (which grants him the ability to send ghosts, zombies, and other undead back to the Underworld). A wise counselor and a skilled healer (though Elan inherits some healing power from his father's portfolio, he's not very good at it).

:belkar: is a child of Ares, who was thrown out of Camp Half-Blood after he killed two nymphs and kidnapped and ravished a third. He survived by killing for some weeks before meeting Roy, who found him strung up by a gang of feral Cyclopes who were ready to cut off his head for murdering two of their kind. Roy managed to get Belkar released by forcing him to swear obedience to Roy and service to Rome on the River Styx. Dual-wields Celestial Bronze daggers.

:redcloak: is the descendant of a long line of Carthaginian sorcerers sworn to tear down Roman civilization, who pass their powers, knowledge, and memories along though a sacred crimson cloak. Drawing on the awesome and terrible power of Carthaginian blood magic, Redcloak has come closer than any before him to unmaking civilization and restoring the bloodthirsty rule of Molech and Baal. Roy has been trying to stop Redcloak for a long time, but Red's minions and his own twisted power have kept Roy at bay.

:xykon: is one of the old sorcerers of Redcloak's order. Revived from the dead via blood sacrifice, he is now kept alive as a skeleton via a black talisman. Wielding awesome levels of pyromancy, and with the ability to call up undead like himself, he is Redcloak's deadliest ally.

:mitd: is believed to hail from the African jungles, beyond the domain of the gods. Though he is known to be strong, almost invincible, and rather childish, not much more is known about him, as even the gods cannot see through the concealing shroud that surrounds him.

:nale: is Elan's twin, though he is descended from Greek!Apollo rather than Roman (something only possible to Apollo, who is the only known god with the same name in both pantheons). Joined up with Kronos, but escaped before Manhattan and is now at the head of a small band of monsters. He has inherited a form of charmspeak from his father, and relies heavily on this to make his plans work.

:sabine: is a monster of unknown origin. Seductive, armed with a life-stealing touch, and Nale's loyal consort.

:thog: is a Laistrygonian giant, who has abandoned his kind's traditional fireball weapons in favor of a Celestial Bronze battle-ax.

F.Harr

2013-06-25, 11:44 AM

Of course he does! I realize, I also wrote up a thing where Elan was in color guard, and presumably, he'd also wear shiny, sequined costumes. Now I want to write one where he's a figure skater...

EDIT: I googled 'color guard costumes' and found this (http://www.styleplusband.com/closeout/elan-vest.html). I think it's a sign.

Marvelous! :D

OOTS in... THE HEROES OF OLYMPUS!!!

. . .

Ooooo! Ahhhhhhhh!

Hey, does it strike anyone else as interesting how often Belkar is a "vicious little thug"?

F.Harr

2013-06-29, 02:39 PM

Random question: Do Roman gods hang out on Olympus, too?

ReaderAt2046

2013-06-29, 04:48 PM

Random question: Do Roman gods hang out on Olympus, too?

When civilization moved from Greece to Rome, the gods of Olympus moved with it. They took up new names, and became more disciplined and honorable.

F.Harr

2013-06-30, 12:26 PM

But did they change their address?

ReaderAt2046

2013-06-30, 12:31 PM

But did they change their address?

I believe so.

F.Harr

2013-07-01, 10:14 AM

I wonder if they filled out a Change of Address card.

Oo! Oo! Daytime soap opera!

"Hyper-clean Soap and deturgent products brings you: 'All the Sticks'

"Or, The Guiding Stick

"Or, Stiky Hospitial

"Or, The Bold and the Stick-like!"

:roy: Roy: A local do-gooder. Possibly he bought the local news paper after his successful Canadian Football career and didn't know what he was getting into.

I'm not wedded to the sport. I just think it should be something that not a lot of Americans are familiar with. Rugby maybe? Dragonboat racing? Tournament Magic the Gathering?

:belkar: Belkar:A local thug Roy took under his wing to protect his premises from other local thugs and to keep him from throwing bricks through his windows.

:haley: Haley: Former confidence trixter and freelance journalist. "I know what they're doing because I do it, to. Erm, I used to do it befor I turned over a new leaf, but that's not a legal admission and I was never convicted of anything".

:elan: Elan: A legacy report who was hired by the guy Roy bought the paper from.

:vaarsuvius: V: The head of Roy's print shop. Always tooking to do more with less. And runs the website at the same time. SAnd is always brigning in awful food V mad V's own self. And is the restraunt critic. And is a commontator. Has too much to do.

:durkon: Durkon: Possibly the guy Roy bought the paper from. He started it as a local interdenominational circular and was excited by Roy's plans to make the paper a local force in the community.

:xykon: Xykon: Local real estate magante who is up to serial and il-defined no-goodness.

:redcloak: Redcloak: Disadvantaged youth from the next town over who's trying to use Xykon for his own ends, that is, to benifit his own town.

:miko: Miko: A local cop and constant thorn in Roy's side as the laws are often on Xykon's side and right is often on Roy's.

:nale: Nale: Crook who wonderes in and out of the story spretty much at random.

:mitd: The Monster in the Dark: Xykon's ulimate weapon against do-gooders that he's never had to use as the do-gooders in this town aren't very effective. Hence, we don't know what this indevidual will do when called uppon.

F.Harr

2013-07-08, 12:53 PM

How about a concert movie?

Elan is the frontman, so it's Elan-centered.

Roy is the manager/drummer.

Durkon's the bassist because he's the most reliable.

V is the keyboadist and keeps proposing new tunes, but they're all in twelve-tone rows and people don't get them.

Belkar is the roadie/security and often scans the crowd for honnies for him to sleep with. He doesn't get that groupies want to sleep with the band.

Haley would be the tamberine-girl/backup-singer if she wasn't also Roy's right hand.

TE and the LG are other bands looking to win a battle of the bands the prize of which is a contract with Azure Recordings, run by Shojo, Hinjo and their persnikity engineer, Miko.

F.Harr

2013-07-11, 02:31 PM

O.K., how about Beach Movie!!!

Picture it: Stick Beach. A southern Californian genreic beach excpet it has a gate to world of monsters so that flumphs can come through and get hurt in commical situations. Scores of teenagers and young adults are flocking there so that the movies can have lost of young people not weaing much in it. But there is a dark side. The city is running out of money and may be forced to sell the beach either to TE enterprises for some il-defined industiral purpose of LG enterprises for some other similarly ill-defined industrial purpose.

:roy: Roy is an easygoing (sort-of) lifeguard trying to help keep the beach from being bought.

:miko: Miko is a significantly less-easygoing lifeguard and the bane of everyone's existance. Comic fodder.

:elan: Elan is the hero of the piece. He conceves of a bennifit concert to rase the money needed to not sell the beach.

:durkon: Durkon Is a local bar-owner who's premisis is being used for the concert. He wonders why he moved there from his native Quebec. Why Quebec rather than Scotland? I don't know, it seems funny to me.

:haley: Haley is an international jewelry thief who just wnated a little R&R but the evil plans of TE and LG necessitated her to use her skills to save Stick Beach

:belkar: Belkar is a bad-boy surfer who's a danger to other surfers. But ot save his favorite beach, he'll put aside his anti-social ways. For now. . .

:vaarsuvius: Vaarsuvius is an egghead from the local university who's always studying but, in a crucial moment, comes up with an idea to solve some patently transparent problem. Like, too many ogers on the beach.

:xykon: Xykon is the head of TE and will do anything to scuttle the concert.

:redcloak: Redcloak is Xykon's right-hand man.

:nale: Nale is the head of LG and will do anything to scuttle his brother's ambitions.

:sabine: Sabine is Nale's romantic interest.

Shojo is the mayor in need.

Hinjo is head of Parks an recreation.

Stevie Wonder is the surprise guest music star in the concert who's location is a matter of much concern for everyone and a major plot point..

[Edit: The Linier Gang should be a gang who want the beach for themselves]

Miriel

2013-07-13, 02:00 PM

OOTS as a cycle of 12th century chivalric romance.

Shojo is the good king of Azure Castle.

Celia is the queen. She is a fey, with powerful magic powers. When Shojo dies, she orders Roy to avenge him. When he succeeds, they marry.

:roy: Roy is one of the main characters of the cycle. A loyal knight, dedicated to serving his king, Shojo, he is very serious, keeps his promises, and always succeeds in all his adventures, assisted by Greenhilt, the magical sword, heirloom of his line. He will take on any challenge to his honour or that of his king. However, he is also in love with the queen, Celia, and courts her secretly until Shojo's death.

:miko: Miko (a "he" -- no such thing as gender equality in chivalric romances) is a felon knight. "His" father died shortly after marrying "his" mother. At her birth, a prophecy said she would be the greatest and strongest of all knights, but would aftier killing "his" rightful liege. Her mother, horrified, gave "him" to a monastery, to avoid fulfilling the prophecies. However, the monastery was raided when "he" was old enough to take up arms, and, by chance, "he" ended up in the care of one of Shojo's knights, who trained "him". After a long friendship with Roy, both become estranged because of the magic of Xykon, and "he" kills Shojo. Roy takes revenge on "him" for the death of their liege, and defeats "him".

:belkar: Belkar is a knight from a distant land. Inspired, unbeknownst to him, by the magic suggesion of Xykon, he goes to Azure Castle and joins Shojo's court. Even though he is faithful to Shojo, his lack of manner and brutal, violent behaviour (not inspired by Xykon) creates conflict at court between Roy and Miko. Miko tries to kill him, but "he" is ordered not to by Shojo, causing both their deaths. But the magic of Xykon is broken by Shojo's death, and Belkar tells Roy of the his meddling.

:xykon: Xykon is the evil mage-king of Dorukan Castle, the rival kingdom of Azure Castle. He usurped the throne for the eponym king Dorukan. He never leaves his throne. His people are oppressed, poor, and filled with fear of him. To take over Azure Castle, he sows hatred in the heart of Miko, who then kills Shojo. However, his plan backfires when the brave Roy takes his revenge on him.

:mitd: The MITD is a great beast. Under the power of Xykon, he protects the forbidden hills. He is defeated by Roy.

:redcloak: Readcloak is the evil king's seneschal. It is he who answers challenges for him. When Roy enters, he first meets his challenge to Xykon, but is defeated.

:durkon: Durkon is the abbot of a hidden monastery, in the forbidden hills between Azure Castle and Dorukan Castle. When the pious Roy, lost and almost killed by the MITD, he finds him and brings him to hischapel. When told of Roy's quest, Durkon offers to bring him to Dorukan Castle, blesses his sword and gives him a magical helm.

:elan: Elan is another knight of Shojo's. He is more easygoing than Roy, but by no way weaker than he. He never knew his father, and received his knightly training from Julio Scoundrel, a knight of Shojo's, who brought him to court and tought him the ways of war and of love. In one adventure to Cliffport, he courts the lovely Haley, heiress of Greysky, whom he receives from the king after defeating Nale. Obviously, being married doesn't stop him from courting other young ladies in other adventures.

Ian Starshine is the king of Greysky. At first, he mistrusts Elan. When he learns of his love for his daughter, he challenges him to defeat the red knight Nale, who cannot be vanquished, hoping that Elan will die.

:vaarsuvius: Vaarsuvius is a great scholar and soothsayer at king Ian's court. No one can tell whether he/she is a male or female: she/he is so close to God that he/she is a pure soul made physical, without sex. She/he never speaks (makes a change with the comic!) but to utter words of doom.

:nale: Nale is an evil red knight. He stays in a mysterious chapel, in a dark forest. He challenges and kills whoever enters the forest, and receives a yearly tribute of three young virgins from the nearby kingdom of Greysky.

:haley: Haley is, as mentionned, the daughter of the king of Greysky. She is more proactive than Celia, and provides Elan much help on his quest to defeat the red knight. She steals from an uncooperating burgher a magic sword whose holder can defeat any demon, and gives it to Elan.

:sabine: Sabine is the demonic spirit who grants Nale, through the horrific ritual of drink the blood of virgins together, the strength and power which makes him invincible. After Nale is defeated, she slowly fades, but tells Elan the horrible truth: they were twin brothers all along!

ReaderAt2046

2013-07-13, 04:47 PM

The OOTS as giant robots!

The Backstory: In the not-too-distant future war breaks out between the Western Alliance (The United States, Europe, and a few allies) and the Eastern League (China, Japan, most of Southeast Asia, and almost all the Muslim-dominated countries). With neither side daring to use nukes, the war drags on for nearly a decade, until the West tips the scale with a new weapon, the 50-foot-tall piloted robots know as BattleMechs, or just mechs for short. With this new weapon, the war tips decisively towards the West, and the Eastern League is soon demolished. Our story begins about 5-10 years after the war, with Roy's squad being one of several that are patrolling Asia, attempting to hunt down and root out various rogue elements that kept fighting after the East's official surrender.

:roy: is the pilot of the mech Greenhilt, a heavily armored and massive model armed with an enormous titanium-alloy greatsword. He is a squadron captain and American.

:haley: is the pilot of the mech Starshine, an artillery model. Though more lightly armored than the Greenhilt, Starshine features a powerful railgun capable of launching everything from armor-piercing rounds to incendiary charges to sprays of titanium ball bearings. Romantically involved with Elan, and has been for some time. Also American.

:elan: is the pilot of the Dashing Swordsman, an experimental design focusing more on speed and less on armor. In addition to its whipsword (something like a cross between a rapier and a steel cable line trimmer), the Dashing Swordsman features an experimental hologram projector capable of producing surprisingly detailed illusions. Elan is his usual childish self, leading some to wonder how he passed the psych evalution (in fact, he didn't. Haley hacked into the database and changed his test scores). He has the habit of playing his favorite songs on his cabin speakers, which due to a short that nobody can remember to fix also causes them to be broadcast on the Dashing Swordsman's PA system. Also American

:durkon: is the pilot of the Thundershield, which in addition to its osmium-steel hammer features an EM projector that can produce impressive lightning strikes and an advanced technical repair matrix, allowing him to provide field repair for the rest of the squad. Scottish, and a consecrated chaplain of the Roman Catholic church. Serves as team medic, chaplain, and counselor.

:vaarsuvius: is the pilot of the Evoker, and capable of leveling small cities with his missile batteries. Italian, and still of ambiguous and unknown gender. Also one of two non-Christians on the squad (an atheist).

:belkar: pilots the Bitterleaf, a vicious close-combat mech armed with two giant chainsaws, which Belkar gleefully uses to rip anything that gets in his way to shreds (literally). Belkar has repeatedly failed the psych tests, but is allowed to keep the Bitterleaf as long as he does everything Roy tells him. The team's other non-Christian, and not so much atheistic as non-theistic (he's probably never seriously considered the idea of God). Mexican.

Goblins are the Western name for one of China's more desperate tactics. 30-40 feet tall, these monstrous beasts were bred as a counter to the Western mechs. Unfortunately, they proved uncontrollable and spent several years wandering around inland China breeding and eating towns and cities. They are the main antagonist of Roy's squad, which has been specifically assigned to find and eliminate them.

:redcloak: is the pilot of the stolen mech Crimson Mantle, and controls the goblins through pheremonic technology. Roy's direct opposite.

:xykon: was Redcloak's lieutenant, until he built the mech Skeleton (based off of what was learned from the Crimson Mantle), and transplanted his brain into it. The process caused him to go completely bonkers, and now he uses the Skeleton's missile batteries and flamethrowers to blow things up at random.

:mitd: is a side effect of the Goblin program, a mysterious hundred-foot-tall monster of unknown power and appearance.

ReaderAt2046

2013-07-19, 09:13 PM

The OOTS as Magic: The Gathering cards!

:roy: Legendary Creature-Human Warrior. 2RW. 5/5. Alright, let's make sure we all end up in the same booster.

:haley: Legendary Creature-Human Rogue. 2RR. 2/2. Tap, deal 2 damage to target creature or player. I really do think I ought to get commission for appearing on these.

:elan: Legendary Creature-Human Bard. 1RW. 2/2. RW, all creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn. Tap, tap, tap, tap for 2 damage!

:durkon: Legendary Creature-Dwarf Cleric: 2WW. 3/3. W, Tap, Gain 4 life or prevent the next 4 damage that would be dealt to creatures you control. I dinnae like those Green treehuggers, Wizard!

:vaarsuvius: Legendary Creature-Elf Wizard: 2RU. 1/2: XR, Tap, Deal X damage to target creature(s) or player(s), divided as you choose. UR, Tap, Copy the next instant or sorcery spell you cast. You may choose a new target for the copy. Hmm... this Izzet guild sounds amusing. I wonder why its Master was immune to Familicide?

:belkar: Legendary Creature-Halfling Warrior: 2BR, 3/3, Double Strike, BR +1/+1 till end of turn. Woot! Look at all these cute girls in skimpy outfits.

Rosstin

2013-07-19, 11:09 PM

This was all great fun-- nice work. :-)

jidasfire

2013-07-20, 12:01 AM

The OOTS as Magic: The Gathering cards!

:roy: Legendary Creature-Human Warrior. 2RW. 5/5.

:haley: Legendary Creature-Human Rogue. 2RR. 2/2. Tap, deal 2 damage to target creature or player.

:elan: Legendary Creature-Human Bard. 1RW. 2/2. RW, all creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.

:durkon: Legendary Creature-Dwarf Cleric: 2WW. 3/3. W, Tap, Gain 4 life or prevent the next 4 damage that would be dealt to creatures you control.

:vaarsuvius: Legendary Creature-Elf Wizard: 2RU. 1/2: XR, Tap, Deal X damage to target creature(s) or player(s), divided as you choose. UR, Tap, Copy the next instant or sorcery spell you cast. You may choose a new target for the copy.

:belkar: Legendary Creature-Halfling Warrior: 2BR, 3/3, Double Strike, BR +1/+1 till end of turn.

I like this a lot. My only comment is that Elan would probably be 1UW considering he is somewhat of a magic-based character in the blue mana sense.

F.Harr

2013-07-30, 01:51 PM

So, the Orgy of the Stick, huh? Someone else will have to work on that. Instead, I've got a sports movie.

It's set in a semi-pro basketball league. The finals of the season pit the Order against the Guild. And so, we have the various team mates.

Roy and Thog are the centers.

Vaarsuvious, Elan, Zz'tri and a ringer are the offence. In this league, magic can be used.

Belkar, Haely, Nale and Sabine are the defence. Belkar likes to hurt people.

Durkon is the team medic.

Shojo is the commissioner of the league.

Hinjo is the guy in charge of the final series.

Miko is the troublesome refferee.

Xykon is a local gangster.

Redcloak is his braintrust and chief bookie.

Mitty (the MitD) is the never-used "inforcer".

Coach

2013-07-31, 11:08 PM

80s/90s sex comedy
The gang inherit a dude ranch from their dearly departed Uncle Shojo, but greedy banker Xykon wants to foreclose. To raise the money they host a topless carwash. Elan plays some bad synthesizer music.
Wait, you know what? Never mind. This is a terrible idea.

ReaderAt2046

2013-08-08, 08:55 PM

PROJECT S.T.I.C.K. aka the Order as Superheroes, version 2.0.
(Note: I pulled the PROJECT S.T.I.C.K. title from the giant robot project, as I believe this is a much better place for it. Also, apologies if I’m stepping on Jidasfire’s toes, but the superhero genre is pretty big and I’m going for a very different flavor than Legion.)

Eugene Greenhilt is the head of Section K, a secret government department dedicated to exotic researches. One of his most promising experiments was Project S.T.I.C.K., (Specialized Tactical Isomorphic Comabatants- section K), a genomic enhancement project that promised to create the ultimate soldier. An incredibly gifted geneticist and physicist, he finally succeeds in creating a mutagenic compound that he dubs STICK-factor. Humans injected with this compound experience incredible physical and mental enhancement, making each Altered the equal of a dozen normal soldiers. In the main story, Eugene fills the "Nick Fury" role, providing a liason between the Order and the government as well as running the secret base.

:belkar: For reasons of sheer practicality, Dr. Greenhilt began by testing the STICK-factor on certain criminals awaiting the death penalty. Each was given the choice to refuse the testing and face some other means of execution, but if they survived, their crimes would be wiped out. Dozens died in agony as the mutagens turned their very bodies against them, but finally clinical psychopath, mass murder, and illegal immigrant Belkar Bitterleaf survived. Gaining enhanced strength, a formidable healing factor, and augmented combat skill, Belkar is now serving in the Order. Though extremely dangerous, he is kept on a leash by the Mark Of Justice implant in his skull, which if ever activated will cause the STICK-factor in his system to turn septic, treating him to a horrible death.

:haley: A secondary test to confirm the perfection of the STICK-factor was indicated, and the lot fell on a disadvantaged youth in jail for serial theft. Haley Starshine gained speed and precision, as well as the ultimate dream job for a thrill-drunk young rogue. Romantically involved with Elan, but has not yet gotten around to marrying him. Claims that she's conducting a scientific experiment as to whether the enhanced biology of STICK-factor is inheritable, and undoubtedly is, if maybe not for such disinterested motives as she claims. Considering the claims of Christianity at the moment, may or may not commit any time soon.

:roy: Although intelligent, Captain Greenhilt never aspired to the heights of pure genius on which his father dwelt, instead joining the Army Rangers and rapidly rising to the rank of Captain therein. After several years of exceptionally heroic service, he once again put his body on the line by volunteering to be injected with STICK-factor and becoming the Order's field leader. The factor gave him virtually universal physical enhancement, boosting strength, speed, stamina, toughness, healing, and even enhancing his skill with weapons. A Christian, which has not made dealing with the rest of his squad's antics any easier.

:elan: Elan was just a stereotypical upper-middle class journalist and singer, until he ran across Haley on a mercy ministry his church was running on the bad side of town. Immediately smitten, he began a one-man campaign to pull Haley out of her predicament, but after only a couple of weeks of friendly trips to malls and ice-cream parlors and sporting events, Haley vanished. Elan's quest to find out what had happened to her led him to Section K. After learning what had happened to Haley, Elan agreed to keep the secret, on the condition that he be Altered and allowed to serve with Haley. In addition to speed and precision, has gained perfect pitch both in voice and in hearing. This last gift has allowed him to produce sonic waves that set off specific chemical reactions, augmenting the already impressive boosts STICK-factor grants his comrades. A rather loose but very joyful Christian, he acknowledges that he shouldn't be sleeping with Haley yet, but doesn't really see that there's anything he can do until she's ready for marriage.

:vaarsuvius: An incredibly gifted physicist and military engineer, V helped Section K develop the Stick-factor, but V's personal expertise lies in high explosives. Serves in the field as engineer, science consultant, demolitions expert, and, thanks to V's E.V.O.K.E.R. rig (a sort of gauntlet-and-bracer affair containing several dozen micro-missiles), one-man artillery division. Asexual in body and mind (all sexual characteristics have been surgically removed) and V's genetic gender is classified.

:durkon: A gifted doctor as well as an ordained minister of the Christian faith, Durkon helped with the medical side of the Stick-factor research, and now serves as the Order's team medic and chaplain. His personal projects are the PosEn injections, a set of short-term catalysts that allow wounds that would ordinarily take days to heal to be regenerated in seconds. Combined with a set of adult stem cell treatments that can replicate nearly any body part, Durkon can have the team recovered from their wounds in a matter of hours, tops.

F.Harr

2013-08-09, 08:33 AM

O.K., I've been thinking about this bodice-ripper thing and not knowing anything about the genre, I've come up with an outline, at least.

1. It's set in the Border counties between England and Scotland back when there was a lot of inter-communiyt violence and when the exact placement of the border never really managed to interest anyone and everyone were pretty much both extremely southern Scottish as well as extremely northern English and most of the violence that didn't come from London or Eddinbourogh was about one family settleing scores with another.

2. The Greenhilt family were modest landholders with a small yet loyal following. Eugene left to pursue an education and have a child in France. After his father Horace died, he failed to return home and let his father's steward Durkon run things in his stead. Roy, upon hearing some troubleing news from a home he never say rushes home to take charge of the situation.

3. Durkon has attacked some employees, but is rather rudderless as a leader and welcome's Roy's timely arrival.

4. Torrent love affairs between Haley and Elan and Roy and Celia. Forbidden for some reason. Perhaps Elan and Celia are English.

5. Xykon is a bandit that has been taking advantage of the abcince of the Geenhilt family and has been terrorising the locals.

6. Belkar is one of those locals who's sick of the situation.

7. Miko, Shojo etc. represent the Eddinbourogh government and wants the Greenhilts to get off their backside because the English are comming.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on the matter.

Zea mays

2013-08-09, 11:57 AM

A Dickensian Saga
(title? can't quite decide between "Stick House", "O what a Tweest!" "Gate Expectations" or "Our Mutual Fiend")

Mr. R. Greenhilt is a retired army officer, now a gentleman of some small property. His relationship with his aged father is still strained by the latter's disapproval of his choice of a military career. He hopes to marry Miss Celia Celestial, a beautiful ingenue.

Through a series of improbable coincidences involving byzantine inheritance laws, foiled burglaries, lone orphans trudging across the hostile country side, and at least one case of spontaneous combustion, he becomes the guardian of two young people:

Elan, A naive and optimistic waif out to make his way in the world. Unbeknownst to him, his resentful evil brother is working behind the scenes, hiring a series of villains to corrupt his pure outlook on life, knowing that Elan's inheritance from their father relies on him staying true to narrative conventions.

And Miss Haley Starshine, a beautiful but initially very mercenary young woman, who learns the value of love through her growing attachment to Elan.

Doctor Durkon is Mr. Greenhilt's neighbor, a steadfast friend and adviser

The Very verbose Lady Or Lord V still maintains genteel air despite being somewhat down on their luck. A scholarly eccentric with a dark secret in their past.

Belkar Bitterleaf is a brutal thug loyal only to his ferocious cat. After being visited by the ghost-of-pillage-yet-to-come he changes his behavior and outlook, trying to attain the appearance of respectability for sake of committing greater larceny. With this object in mind, he offers Mr. Greenhilt his assistance in countering the evil machinations Of Mr's Xykon and Redcloak

Mr. G. Redcloack worked his way up in a powerful financial firm. Outwardly very humble He is deeply resentful of the circumstances of his kin, and works secret plots (blackmail, embezzlement, etc.) to raise his and his family's stock. He is also scheming to force the innocent Miss Celia wed him, for the sake of the secret inheritance she is not yet aware of.

Mr. Xykon has been throughout his life an unscrupulous money-lander who relished having power to cause his fellow creatures misery. Now he is the skeletal elderly head of the firm Mr. Redcloack works for.

ReaderAt2046

2013-08-30, 09:42 PM

Adding to the OOTS MTG:

:xykon: Legendary Creature-Zombie Wizard. 2RRBB. 3/3. When Xykon enters play, put a phylactery counter on target artifact you control. As long as you control an artifact with a phylactery counter, Xykon is indestructible. 2RB, Tap: Deal 4 damage to target creature or player. 1B, Exile a card from your graveyard: Put a 1/1 black Zombie creature token into play. BUWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

:redcloak: Legendary Creature-Goblin Cleric. 3BW. 3/3. 1(B/W): Put a black and white 1/1 Goblin Creature token into play. 3BW, Tap: Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated. I'll have to have serious words with Wizards of the Coast about their depiction of goblins in this game.

:mitd: Legendary Creature. N/A. 0/1 Morph (B/2)(W/2)(G/2)(U/2)(R/2):( You may play this face down as a 2/2 creature for 3 Mana. Turn it face up any time for its morph cost. ) MITD can only be played face-down. When MITD becomes the target of a spell or ability while face-down, turn it face-up. When MITD is turned face-up, exile it, search your library for a creature card, and put it into play. Any spells or abilities that targeted MITD now target that creature. So... can I come out now?

ReaderAt2046

2013-09-01, 05:14 PM

...And the Project S.T.I.C.K. files:

Tarquin is the head of $$$ Inc's exotic research division, though in reality he and his five friends form the majority share of $$$ stock and unofficially run the company. Tarquin got wind from some unknown source (possibly his ex-wife, a noted entertainer and Elan's mother) that Dr. Greenhilt had finally perfected the S.T.I.C.K.-factor. Tarquin knew that if he could acquire a sample, its value would be almost incalculable.

:nale: As Tarquin's son and lieutenant, Nale was the obvious choice to steal a sample of the S.T.I.C.K.-factor, and as Elan's identical twin he was able to bypass many of the security precautions with ease. Unfortunately, whether through megalomania, idiocy, or panic, he injected himself with the sample he'd managed to steal. While this augmented his strength, speed, toughness, etc. enough to allow him to slip back out, it gave Tarquin a very bad sample to work from, and with Section K on alert, stealing another dose was virtually impossible.

:sabine: Heroin addict and gifted biologist, as well as Nale's lover, and cohort, Sabine was given the task of reverse-engineering the S.T.I.C.K-factor from the mutated form of Nale's biology. Her work succeeded, sort of. While her mutagen succeeded in duplicating some of the S.T.I.C.K.-factor's enormous power, it tended to produce a side order of truly bizarre mutations, particularly when reacting with other chemicals in the blood-stream. In Sabine's case it granted her not merely the strength, speed, toughness, and healing that were anticipated, but also caused her blood, sweat, saliva, and *ahem* *other bodily fluids* to become a potent contact narcotic, more addictive even than the heroin that had catalyzed this particular change.

:thog: Having a different chemical cocktail to work with lead to wildly different results in the case of Thog. Having already taken large doses of anabolic steroids to maximize his utility as $$$ Inc muscle, the Sabine mutagen granted him strength and toughness enough to rival an elephant, and a build that makes professional footballers look like twigs, not to mention an inexplicable case of green skin and fangs.

Yumori Zatsuken

2013-09-02, 10:50 AM

Modern Day Action/Sci Fi/Comedy series

This is a spin off of a roleplay me and other 4 guys are making, EHHW.

Creed of The Stick

Main Cast

:roy: :The series main protagonist,he is the only appropiate character in the series,he kills Xykon Eminence on season 1finale,but dies halfway season 1,and gets revived in 28 weeks.He dies from a Zombie bite before he kills Eminence,only for his brother,Eric Greenhilt, to revive him.

:haley: : Roys right-hand man, errrr..woman.She almost dies in a rocket blast,only to be captured by AHHW Agents,errrr I meant Goblins.

:elan: The series comic relief,he was weak at first but became strong.

:belkar: The muscle,he often kills others,and accidentally kills some of his allies.

:vaarsuvius: The smart guy,V is actually a male.He makes tech for EHHW S.

:durkon: Another straight guy,he is very loyal to his allies,especially when Roy was near the rocket explosion,where he pulled him out,and saved his life.

:redcloak: Xykon Eminence's right hand man.

:mitd: Xykon Eminence's secret weapon,it betrays them at the end.

:xykon: Main villain,Xykon doesnt like blowing things for giggles.He is actually smarter than he looks

Some of our characters didnt make it,since I didnt find an appropiate one for them,especially Yumori Zatsuken.

F.Harr

2013-09-02, 12:58 PM

Modern Day Action/Sci Fi/Comedy series

This is a spin off of a roleplay me and other 4 guys are making, EHHW.

:vaarsuvius: The smart guy,V is actually a male.He makes tech for EHHW S.

What are EHHW and S, please?

ReaderAt2046

2013-09-08, 09:18 PM

Yet another OOTS: MTG booster!

Tarquin: Legendary Creature-Human Warrior. 3(b/w)(b/w)(b/w). 5/5. Double strike, hexproof. (b/w) Put a 1/1 black and white Human Soldier token in play. Elan should be about 2 mana more expensive and have better stats. He's supposed to be my rival, after all.

:nale: Legendary Creature-Human Rogue. 1BR. 2/2. R, tap. Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap it and it gains haste. Let the world tremble before me!

:sabine: Legendary Creature-Demon. 2BR. 3/3. Wither (deals damage as -1/-1 counters). 2BR: You may return target creature you control to your hand and put Sabine into play from your hand. She gains haste until end of turn. Come on, it's just a kiss. What harm could it do?

:thog: Legendary Creature-Orc Warrior. 2RG: 5/5. Unleash (You may chose to put a +1/+1 counter on Thog when he enters play. As long as he has a +1/+1 counter on him, he can't block.) THOG SMASH!!!

Ghost Nappa

2013-09-08, 10:22 PM

Fantasy Epic

:roy: is the fighter, and the straight-faced leader of the party. Brains and brawn, this greatsword toting young man deals with the continually more cataclysmic consequences of their actions and lack of action.

:haley: is Roy's number two. Slow to trust, and quick to shoot. She is the party's archer an-

Hmmm... you know what...On second thought It'll never catch on.

F.Harr

2013-09-09, 12:26 PM

Joe the Rat

2013-09-10, 11:06 AM

Curses on all of you. Now I have to get this stupid thing out of my head.

Transformers: Order of the Stick
Team Autosticks
:roy: Greenhull Prime, leader of the Autosticks. All around biggest, toughest, smartest, and mightiest warrior. He is the last, best hope of stopping Xykotron from seizing the Five WarpGates and taking control of the WarpSnarl, a vortex of power that could be harnessed to alter matter at a subquantum level (and blow up planets). His Prime status was confirmed by his ability to wield the Greenstar Sword, and his propensity of coming back from the dead. Altmode: Green Kenmore Longnose

:durkon: Thundershell, team medic/mechanic. Wielded an Electron Hammer which alternately repairs systems, or fires off massive electric discharges. Can take as much of a beating (if not more) as Greenhull. He is often the voice of reason for the team. After a tragic encounter with Malakon, he has been reformatted into Dark Thundershell. This has cost him his AAA approved statusAltmode: Emergency Road Service vehicle (with lots of clanky boxy bits).

:haley: Starshine, scout and sniper. Fast, sleek, dangerous. Fights with a long-range gryromissile launcher, which uses a variety of warheads including explosive, freezing, and smokescreen missles. She has recently opened up to the team after overcoming trust issues stemming from her former mentor Ion Star. Features in a disturbing amount of fanfic. Altmode: Street-racing Motorcycle

:elan: Elan-B, the plucky mascot kid-appeal character. A cheerful and somewhat goofy entertainer before the war, his primary role is communications and support. He Possesses the Auto-Tune, a device which creates synergistic harmonics, improving the abilities of his fellow 'Sticks, and a hologram generator he is still learning to use effectively. Fights with a sonic blaster. Most common pairing with Starshine in fanfics.
Altmode: A yellow sportscar (make and model depending on who has product placement at the time). In Season/series/movie/year 2 he switches to a blue paintscheme with yellow highlights.

:vaarsuvius: Versi-vus, triple-changer scientist. Cold and analytic, V stays behind the frontlines analyzing problems and blasting them out of existence with a variety of tuned energy effects with his integrated Variable Energy Projector. Incredibly arrogant about power, V has recently become a more supportive team player. V's recent change of spark comes from a recent deal for power gone bad. Unknown to the others, Versi-vus currently owes several cycles of spark control to the one who offered V the deal for power: Unicron Altmode: Nail polish red Can Am Spyder / Autogyro. The autogyro rotors can be used in robot mode, allowing V to fly.

Blackwing: Versi-vus' snarky-yet-wise scout 'bot. Altmode: A raven.

:belkar: Belli-Car. An angry maverick 'Bot, former Wrecker, and occasional tracker. Loves busting up 'Cons - and everything else. Similar to Versi-Vus, he has become a better team player after an Inner Spark Vision Quest resulting from a malfunctioning Violence Inhibitor. Fights with a pair of plasma pistols with fixed under-barrel bayonets for up-close work.
Altmode: Green MG Sprite Convertible. (He's a Sexy Topless Bot of War).

Scruffy: A white robotic cat about the size of a leopard that belonged to Alpha Shojo. Rides around with BeliCar. Doesn't speak.

Team Villaincons
:xykon: Xykotron, Dark-Energon fueled ruler of the Villaincons. The Dark Energon transfer has warped his mind somewhat, but he maintains his rule through sheer power. With a wide range of blasting powers and the ability to raise fallen Cybertronians as Dark Energon Zombies, he is a foe to be reckoned with. Currently seeking the power to control the WarpSnarl to take over the universe. Altmode: Black and White alien-looking warship, though he rarely uses this form.

:redcloak: Redwave, Cyclopian scientist and leader of the Goblicon (Car) and Hovgoblicon (Aircar) cannonfodder soldiers. He was the first Villaincon to discover the WarpSnarl and propose a means to harness its power. Has his own agenda, using Xykotron's instabilities to manipulate the mad tyrant. Altmode: Futuristic Green and Black bomber, with Red wings that form a cloak in Robot mode.

:nale: B-Nale, A smart, scheming Villaincon that is the spitting image of Elan-B... only with a goatee. Acts as field communications and info war specialist. He wants to take over the Villaincons, but comes in a distant fourth in terms of his scheming. At the end of his first story arc, it was revealed he is actually the Elan-B from the Shattered Glass Universe. his extra-universal status somehow provides him a short-range teleport ability. Altmode: Same as Elan-B, save that he switches to a mostly black color scheme in Season/movie/you-know-the-drill 2.

:sabine: Sabinok, Villaincon assassin and interrogation specialist (with unusual definitions of 'torture'). This dark and dangerous 'Con is fiercely loyal to B-Nale, supporting his latest schemes. Fights with a rocket-crossbow, and uses electrovenom touch attacks. She is secretly working for Unicron, as Versi-vus has recently discovered. Altmode: A fast and dangerous looking red hover-cycle. The hoverjets provides flight in robot mode.

:thog: thog happy to be included in cross-genre parody. thog enjoy chance to flex cybermuscle as deranged and violent berserker-con thog. thog fight with axe and thinks green talky-bot lots of fun as goodguybot opposite. thog breaks everything, including fourth wall. thog dare to be stupid. thog also like humans. thog want human pet but b-nale says no. thog can't have nice things. but thog have built-in rocket skates, so thog happy. thog altmode big green and purple humvee, but b-nale say that not mean thog have good singing voice. thog not sure when thog got purple paint job.

what is genre?

Tarquin: Tarqscream. Commander of the Bleeders, technically top Lieutenant to Xykotron. A formidable warrior in his own right, he seeks to consolidate his own power to remove Xykotron and become the Lead Villaincon. He has recently become convinced Elan-B is the key to this. He is responsible for B-Nale being in the Stick Continuum. Fights with an Energy Axe in melee, but freely uses (and catches) missiles.
Altmode: Blood red fighter jet.

Malack: Malakon. Sinister 'medic' of the Villaincons, tends to hang back from the action. and provide support. Very softspoken. He has his own schemes, but is willing to support Tarqsream's bid for power until the time is right. It was recently revealed that Malakon is an Energy Vampire, when he attacked and converted Thundershell into Dark Thundershell Altmode: Futuristic hover transport.

F.Harr

2013-09-12, 10:11 AM

Thog was my favorite. It even outclassed the line about "Features in a disturbing amount of fan fiction".

Yumori Zatsuken

2013-09-12, 01:54 PM

What are EHHW and S, please?

EHHW of The Stick.

EHHW is an acronym,but I cant tell you,since its advertising.

F.Harr

2013-09-12, 03:21 PM

EHHW of The Stick.

EHHW is an acronym,but I cant tell you,since its advertising.

Um----thank--you? S:\

Mammal

2013-09-12, 08:19 PM

So I wasn't going to do this, because I am a human being with self-restraint and then I realized what the name would be and I don't actually have restraint, at all. Also, this doesn't make any sense to anyone not intimately familiar with both series.

Stickstuck
A Homestuck/OotS crossover

Elan, the Heir of Heart, Prospit dreamer, and our (sort-of) protagonist. The Land of Sun and Flair. Cheerful and upbeat, Elan lives with his Father, who he assumes to be a good and caring person, despite mounting evidence to the contrary. He assumes the best of all people at all times, even though this temperament makes him almost uniquely unsuited to the brutality necessary to win Sburb. Nonetheless, he is considered the leader of his session, despite almost everyone on the team being more qualified. He managed to defeat his denizen through words rather than warfare, the only person known to do so. He never reached Godtier because he never died (and according to Haley, he never died in any offshoot timelines). His strife specibus is rapierkind, which he wields to terrible effect.

Haley, the Rogue of Time, Derse dreamer. The Land of Shrouds and Secrets. Savvy, practical, and slow to trust, Haley lives alone-her Dad is gone, and while part of her suspects he's gone for good, her best friend/love interest Elan is confident that he'll return. She uses her time powers to bolster her teammates, subtly weakening enemies by drawing on timelines where they were easily defeated. Because of the sneaky/stealth connections of Rogues, she can pass from timeline to timeline, gathering intel which was used to great effect. She was mortally wounded by her denizen, but made it to her quest bed before dying. She was the first to reach God Tier, and kicked some righteous tail after her ascent. She was instrumental in the defeat of the black queen. Strife Specibus is Bowkind.

Roy, the Knight of Void, Prospit Dreamer. The Land of Forge and Forest. Arguably the best candidate for leadership, Roy rarely called directly on his void powers despite quickly ascending his echeladder. He regards most of the game mechanics as needlessly arbitrary nonsense, and as such, chooses to ignore them whenever possible (difficult in his capacity as Miko's assistant in the fields of ectobiology and Genesis frog raising). He conquered his land through brute strength and clever tactics, rather than "BS space magic." He's in a somewhat steady relationship with Celia, and despite his rivalry with Xykon (who killed him, once), he's an indispensable member of the team, providing much needed brawn on a team laden with brains. He was the one who struck the final blow, killing the Derse king and winning the game. Favors swordkind.

Vaarsuvius, the Prince of Mind, Derse Dreamer. The Land of Tomes and Blaze. Hasty, temperamental and nominally female (???) despite her apparently male-exclusive class, V embraced the powerful, destructive aspects of her class. She essentially lobotomized her enemies, destroying their minds and rendering them incapable of taking action against her. Despite warnings from the rest of the party, she used and abused her powers to the fullest, leading to an eventual breakdown-the last mind she destroyed was her own. With her psyche warped, fractured, and frayed, she turned on her teammates, who were forced to kill her to protect themselves. She ascended to God Tier, and was "reset," damage undone but memories intact. After her ascension, she refused to use her powers at all, rendering her something of a liability on the battlefield. She favors riflekind, though she literally never used it after realizing her Princely powers.

Durkon, the ______ of Life, Prospit Dreamer. Tha Land o' Mines an' Memory. The most mature and emotionally stable member of the team, Durkon was the one to settle fights between his coplayers and keep everyone focused on their ultimate goal. He was quietly supportive while his team members were having angsty teen drama, and it is arguably his influence that allowed them to win the game at all. Favors hammerkind.

Celia, the Seer of Breath, Prospit Dreamer. The Land of Sky and Fowl. Celia and Elan are the least combat-inclined members of the team, preferring to aid their allies rather than engage directly in combat. Because of her pacifism, Celia ascended her echeladder more slowly than her coplayers, leading to grumbling that she was useless, and someone competent should complete her quest. Nevertheless, she ascended to God Tier, and, along with Haley, provided valuable insight and guidance with her powers as the Seer of Breath. Her strife specibus is netkind, notable for being useless without its counterpart, tridentkind.

Belkar, the Page of Rage, Derse Dreamer. The Land of Graves and Giants. Furious to discover that all the Giants in his Land were dead, Belkar spent much of the early game roaming his land, searching for something to kill. Unfortunately, his Land was primarily puzzle-based. He made little progress until Vaarsuvius intervened and helped him navigate the Graves and confront his Denizen, which he killed the **** out of before ascending to God Tier. Not knowing what else to do, he followed V to her Land, and after witnessing her impressive displays of might, he admitted a grudging respect for her. Despite his denial, his admiration for her went considerably deeper, and her breakdown weighed more heavily on him than any other member of the team. Uses 2x1 knifekind.

Miko, the Thief of Hope, Prospit Dreamer. The Land of Seeds and Swords. Tasked with ectobiology and the creation of the Genesis Frog, Miko was Roy's unwitting partner for much of the game. Their constant fighting jeopardized the game at several points, forcing Celia and Durkon to intervene and broker peace between the two. In combat, she bolstered her strength by "stealing" her allies' faith in her abilities, leaving her physically strengthened but without their support. In this way, she was able to fight on the front lines despite being a "lowly" and physically fragile thief. However her teammates' constant doubt wore heavily on her, leading to her taking increasingly risky and desperate measures in an attempt to win their approval. She was instrumental in the final battle, before she was severely injured. She died on the battlefield, and was revived via kiss from Redcloak (who would really rather you didn't mention it). Favors katanakind, despite protests that it's just swordkind with a stupid name.

Xykon, the Bard of Doom, Derse Dreamer. The Land of Whispers and Desolation. Xykon didn't go mad with power (that was Vaarsuvius). He's the least cooperative member of the team, actively sowing chaos for his own amusement. He encouraged the fights between Roy and Miko and was the one to tell Vaarsuvius about the true "potential" of her powers. He and Roy have a highly contentious rivalry (a certain race of aliens might go so far as to call it Blackrom). Xykon actually succeeded in killing Roy once. After Roy was revived, the rest of the team banded together to let him know that if he didn't stop, they'd kill him and let him stay dead. Brought to heel, he was valuable, if sullen for the remainder of the game. His strife specibus, blastkind, is one of his own creation: he has a seemingly limitless supply of explosives to use in strife.

Redcloak, the Maid of Blood, Derse Dreamer. The Land of Sorrow and Shard. The second player on the team to have a class apparently unsuited to his gender (shut up, he knows), and the butt of infinitely many more jokes than V's apparent gender/class disconnect. He entered the game with more rage and guilt than literally any other player, and his anguish warped his land, making it almost entirely inhospitable. He was forced to flee before ascending to God Tier, mirroring the unfulfilled potential of other Heroes of Blood. His quests were supposed to address his myriad emotional problems, but because he wasn't able to complete them, he wasn't able to change or grow as a person after his entry into the game. He's essentially trapped with the mentality of an angry teenager, forever. Nevertheless, he's a valuable member of the team, often the only one willing to do unpleasant but necessary tasks (like kissing Miko). Uses staffkind.

I feel bad, but I have no idea what Durkon's class is, though he's a pretty clearcut Life player, imho.

EDIT: For the benefit of people not familiar with Homestuck, here's a very brief explanation of the mechanics referred to above.

The basic mechanic is that a group of young adults (around 13 years of age) are tasked with the creation of a new universe through a game called 'Sburb.' Each player enters the game, and arrives on a planet unique to them (The Land of Something and Whatever). They have to complete various quests on their land to move up their echeladder, with the eventual goal of reaching God Tier. To this effect, every player has a class and aspect (The Role of Stuff), which relates to their personality and the challenges they face.

After they complete their lands (or not, it depends on the session), the group teams up and faces off against an army of aliens, lead by the black king and queen (it's a chess motif). After the king is slain, the new universe is created, and the group enters their new universe to live on as gods.

It's (considerably) more complicated than that, but that's the basic mechanism: deal with your own issues, then team up and create a new world as a team.

F.Harr

2013-09-13, 09:39 AM

Mammal

2013-09-13, 12:05 PM

Well, what little I understood was interesting. Nice internal conflicts, there.

However, "Belkar, the Page of Rage, Derse Dreamer."

PAGE? Belkar would be the Lord-High-Executioner, Grand Poo-bah, and Padishaw Emperor of rage!

O.K., you know what you're doing, but I couldn't resist. I'm very sorry.

FWIW, Page is one of the most potentially powerful classes, but deliberately begins as the most underpowered. Your class/aspect is intended as a challenge, and I think there is very little Belkar would find more challenging than "You can kill everyone effortlessly...eventually, but please spend the interim in this room full of Rubik's Cubes."

Plus it rhymes!

F.Harr

2013-09-13, 02:41 PM

I knew you knew what you were doing. I just love a good Gilbert and Sulivan/Flintstones/Frank Herbert reference.

:D

jidasfire

2013-09-16, 03:28 PM

The Order in White Wolf's Mage: The Ascension

Roy - Since Roy loves architecture and knowledge, I figure him as a Son of Ether. High in Matter and Correspondence spheres to improve his tactical skills and ability to break and build his surroundings, plus a dot of Entropy to spot enemy weaknesses.

Haley - Given that Haley doesn't easily fit with any Tradition, and she went through a goth phase, I picture her as a Hollow One. Probably a couple dots in everything, but no high-level spheres.

Elan - Elan is obviously a Cultist of Ecstasy. Okay in Life and Mind, with a touch of Forces for illusions and sound tricks, plus a touch of Time (to know when things are dramatically appropriate).

Vaarsuvius - V could be nothing but an Order of Hermes. Maxed out in Forces with decent Prime and Time scores as well, but little else.

Durkon - Despite his pagan god, Durkon is Celestial Chorus to the core. Decent scores in Life, Prime, and Spirit.

Belkar - Belkar picked Euthanatos because he skipped their philosophy and focused on the fact that they kill people. High in Entropy and Forces, since they do the most damage.

ReaderAt2046

2013-09-16, 06:49 PM

FrankLuke

2013-09-17, 10:30 AM

Curses on all of you. Now I have to get this stupid thing out of my head.

Transformers: Order of the Stick

That was awesome. Thank you for sharing.

Mammal

2013-09-17, 12:57 PM

What are "Prospit" and "Derse"?

Two moons-every player has an alternate dream self that lives on one of the two moons, which acts as a "back-up" if something happens to them in the game. It's how the kissing resurrection mechanic works. Also, going God Tier essentially means your dream self and physical body are merged, rendering you functionally immortal.

I tried to give the bare bones explanation, because it's all really confusing and most fans could go off for hours about it if prompted.

strijder20

2013-09-17, 01:18 PM

Oh, like the British always gets basic facts about America correct! Just for that, He-Who-Wears-The-Red-Cloak now graduated with honors from Ecole Centrale Paris! :smalltongue:

Well, try at least to spell 'Summa c-u-m laude' correctly next time :smalltongue:
(Or was that an attempt to bypass the filter?)

Giggling Ghast

2013-09-17, 02:01 PM

Order of the Stick in a "Conan-esque Thud and Blunder Low Fantasy Setting."

The Oots World is a realm ravaged by war, where tyrannical sorceror-kings rule over vast kingdoms with impunity and sacrifice the lives of their unwilling subjects to make dark bargains with demon lords. Eldritch beasts that once ruled the world in the ages before man still roam the world. In the midst of this chaos comes a man who will tread the jeweled thrones of the world beneath his sandaled feet.

Roy: The hero, natch. Birthed on the field of battle in the war-torn northern realms. Roy Greenhilt loathes magic because his father, a practitioner of the black arts, sacrificed his younger brother in a dark magic ritual in his youth. Roy first took up his grandfather's blade to earn his fortune as a mercenary, but Roy now seeks to slay the ancient sorceror known as Xykon to atone for freeing him from Hell. Walks around shirtless a lot.

Xykon: Once a mighty magic-user who ruled nearly the entire known world, Xykon died in a past age and languished in Hell for centuries. After Roy died during a great battle in the eastern kingdoms, Xykon and Roy became allies briefly to escape Hell. But Xykon could only return to life as an undead abomination, and now he seeks to drain Roy's life force so that he may live once again.

Haley: Also known as "Haley the Red", Haley is Roy's most-oft recurring ally. Daughter of the so-called "Prince of Thieves," Haley the Red is known as the finest archer in the four kingdoms. Haley once swore an oath to an obscure goddess that she would never be with a man who could not defeat her in battle - which led to a lot of sexual tension with Roy - but has fallen in love with the minstrel known as Elan. Now seeks a way to be with Elan without breaking her oath.

Elan: A minstrel determined to follow Roy to catalogue his heroic exploits, with or without Roy's consent. Roy has frequently attempted to ditch the irritating fool, but the minstrel somehow manages to track him down. Weary of constantly saving him from bandits and the like (and sensing Haley's growing attraction to him), Roy eventually arranged for an old swordsman named Julio to train Elan in the ways of the blade.

Durkon: An old priest who was Roy's friend and spiritual mentor. A short, stocky fellow of good nature who favoured the drink perhaps a bit too much, Durkon was sadly felled in the depths of an ancient tomb when he was badly wounded and volunteered to bar the path of a horde of vampire-like creatures so Roy could escape. His death haunts Roy.

Vaarsuvius: A wizard said to have travelled to Roy's world from another realm. In this continuity, Vaarsuvius is an extremely frail-looking albino who wields a terrible blade granted to him by demons that allows Vaarsuvius to drain the souls of those he kills and gain their power. Has allied with Roy on occasion but is barely tolerated by Greenhilt.

Belkar: A conniving warrior who Roy met during his time as a gladiator slave in the red-drenched Empire of Blood. He briefly teamed up with Roy to escape the arena and then ransack the ancient tomb of Girard Draketooth with Durkon. Roy blames Belkar for leaving his friend to die and has sworn that Belkar "will not live to see his next naming day" if he sees him again. As of now, his fate is unknown.

Redcloak: The high priest of an all-but-forgotten god known as "the Dark One," the mysterious being known as Redcloak is a member of a race of ancient precursors that once ruled the earth before humans ascended to power. Though he largely ignored Greenhilt in the past, his latest scheme to return his race to supremacy has him allying with Xykon, though neither trust each other.

F.Harr

2013-09-17, 02:15 PM

I like it, which is the only reason I say the following:

"Now seeks a way to be with Elan without breaking her oath."

Sounds like the set-up to an obscure joke involving an analogy between seduction and combat.

Not meant as criticism.

Giggling Ghast

2013-09-17, 02:37 PM

It's actually a reference to Red Sonja, who had the same oath.

F.Harr

2013-09-17, 02:39 PM

Fair enough. I still can't forget the combat metaphors for yadda, yadda, yadda.

Sockpuppet

2013-09-17, 03:09 PM

The Order of the Schtick
Or
S*T*I*C*K*S
Or
Stickfeld
(‘90s Sitcom)
:roy:Roy: (The Chandler): The straight man around whom the entire plot whirls in a chaos of confusion caused by living with/being unable to avoid such manic characters in his life. Works at a boring office job, aspiring to make the company more than it is but always held back. Roy, as all sitcom leads do, has a bewildering succession of dating partners, some for one episode, some as recurring characters/villains, despite his terrible luck with women being a perennial joke.
:elan:Elan (The Joey/Phoebe): Roy’s roommate. Revealed in flashback episode that Roy never wanted him as his roommate, but Haley (who was covering in case anyone came to see the apartment whilst Roy was out for five minutes) impulsively promised Elan the room, much to Roy’s chagrin. Elan works as an actor/musician/fortune teller/whatever comes his way. Always cheerful and upbeat, if a little off the wall, and very new agey, turns out to have a surprisingly troubled and tragic home life.
:haley:Haley: (The Elaine/The Rachel): Roy’s friend from college who lives across the hall from Roy. Has (not so) hidden feelings for Elan, dates a succession of comically terrible boyfriends. She works in Public Relations, and is always smooth talking and sharply dressed. Despite having an important and well-paying job, she has a suspicious amount of free time (although this is a common trope for all sitcom characters). Fans see her and Elan as the OTP if she’ll ever admit it to herself.
:vaarsuvius:Vaarsuvius (The Ross/The Sheldon Cooper): Incredibly intelligent theoretical physicist/computer genius/paleontologist/art critic/polymath who yet has no semblance of social skills whatsoever. Is attached to the group because (s)he is aware that normal humans have a social group, and these are the other humans in close proximity, the rest of the gang apparently have no say in this. Many miles of comedic value are taken with the group “trying to get V out of his/her shell”
:durkon:Durkon (The Martin Crane): Roy’s down to earth older Uncle. Often comes over to Roy’s house to hang out in an armchair and drink a few beers. A bit lonely since he retired, he acts as the voice of reason to Roy, alternately stabilizing/thinking of a way out of the wacky situations he finds himself in, or managing to tell him to loosen up.
:belkar:Belkar (The Janitor/The Bernard Black): Superintendent of the building in which the gang inhabit. Makes a habit of unnerving, freaking out, and even threatening Roy for kicks. Malicious and perverse misanthrope. Loves his cat Mr Scruffy. Occasionally gets on very well with cast members who are not Roy.
:xykon:Xykon (The Denholm Reynholm/Mr Burns): Roy’s cadaverous and incompetent boss. Cruelly taunts and victyimises employees for his own amusement, with a short enough attention span that it stops short of being truly evil. Has no idea how his company works or what it, or any of his employees do. He simply enjoys being rich, being the boss, and tormenting those beneath him.
:redcloak:Redcloak (The Neuman/The Captain Darling): Roy’s rival at work. Never quite in a position to outright fire Roy, but always wishing to be. Often sets out to embarrass or one-up Roy. Sometimes is in the position of Smithers to Xykon’s Mr Burns, but never actually getting that promotion.
Tsukiko: Xykon’s secretary who has an unhealthy attraction to men in positions of power. When Roy gets an executive position in the Episode “It’s a Long Roy to the Top” (S2E17) he experiences firsthand her advances and odd behavior. She loses interest in him as soon as he’s demoted again however.
:miko:Miko: One of Roy’s crazy girlfriends. Very OCD, and demanding. Wanted Roy to be more ambitious, stop hanging around with his loser friends and propose already. A powerfully driven career woman, always wearing pantsuits, could never be wrong or take criticism.
Celia: A lawyer, somewhat bumbling and clumsy in an ineffectual way. Currently dating Roy. Doesn’t quite mesh with the rest of the group, yet nevertheless looks to be written in as more of a main character as the series progesses.
:nale:Nale: Elan’s identical twin. A patent lawyer, very serious and brusque to the point of rudeness. Causes much trouble with mistaken identity, not out of maliciousness, but merely by being offhandedly rude and dismissive of people. Can’t stand his brother, or his attitude to life.

Benthesquid

2013-09-20, 03:50 PM

"V." Modern television crime/detective drama.

There are in fact ten distinct reasons you might have come to see me, Detective Greenhilt. I observed that you brought coffee from Barista Maxima, which means you came here from the station. That eliminated four. The late hour of your visit eliminated another two, the agitation evident in the drumming of your fingers on your leg a seventh. Need I go on, or would you like me to repeat my earlier question- who has died?

Episode One: The Case of the Perforated Pilot

Vaarsuvius- Consulting detective whose encyclopedic knowledge doesn't leave much room for manners. Brilliant but greatly lacking in social skills, and often of questionable morality. Main character. "I never suppose: when I say I am the smartest individual in this room, I say it with absolute certainty."

Elan: Vaarsuvius's new roommate and live-in foil. Cheerfully optimistic, he plays electric lute in a rock and spends his downtime volunteering at a charity puppet theater. Often enlisted by Vaarsuvius to help solve mysteries, sometimes without his knowledge, often irks V with his constant references to detective fiction. Vaarsuvius's biggest moments on either side of the morality line largely concern Elan- from putting him in danger to draw out an enemy, to risking her own life to save him, and in fact V's treatment of Elan is a major way to judge her character arc. "If he suggests 'The Butler Did It," one more time, I may murder him. Still, his blithe indifference to the world around him does have its uses... even its charms."

Haley: One of V's contacts, often employed when some aspect of a mystery requires physical exertion on the less than legal side. It's implied that the relationship started with V blackmailing Haley, but that they've grown to respect each other, and even consider each other friends. Later in the series, as Haley becomes romantically involved with Elan, she and V clash over the latter's treatment of Elan. "If you need a safe cracked or a pocket picked, Miss Starshine would be my first choice. If you are seeking emotional honesty, however, you would do better to look at one of your own saccharine puppet shows."

Roy Greenhilt: Police detective, and frequent liaison to V. Roy is much more by the book, and resents V's frequent habit of bending or outright breaking the law. He can't deny V's effectiveness, but frequently warns her that if one day she goes too far, he'll be there to catch her. "Detective Greenhilt's fetishistic dedication to the law often blinds him to the most reasonable approach. He is, nevertheless, that rarest of things- a truly good man."

Belkar: A diminutive violent thug, tolerated by V as occasionally useful, but certainly distasteful. Later in the series, he attempts to rebrand himself as a vigilante, "cleaning up the streets," leaving the viewers and characters alike to wonder if this is a real change of heart, or just a way to get away with beating up criminals and taking their stuff. "A diminutive, violent thug, occasionally useful, but certainly distasteful."

Durkon: A priest and former medic, often recruited to tend to the various injuries that the characters receive in the course of an investigation. Occasionally provoked into combat, with badass results. "I've little time for gods who can't be bothered to interfere in the running of their worlds, but I've never met a layman so blase about finding a man bleeding out on his doorstep."
***
Nale- Elan's identical twin, and a recurring villain, usually only appearing in one episode at a time, with the occasional two-parter. Always scheming and trying to become the crime lord of Stick City.

Sabine- Nale's main accomplice, a seductive, deadly conwoman and mistress of disguise. Initially a mole for the IFCC, later conflicted over her sincere feelings for Sabine

Thog- Nale's other recurring accomplice, a simpleminded thug.

Leeky Windstaff- An Eco-Terrorist recruited by Nale for one episode, where his use of ultra-low-tech (using sharpened wooden stakes to bypass metal detectors, avoiding roadblocks by walking miles across fields, etc) confounds V until a conversation with Durkon gives her the key to catching him.

Pompeii: A teenage petty conman, recruited by Nale for one episode, where he kidnaps Roy's sister Julia as part of a complex plan to force him to arrest V.

Zz'dtri or The Man with No (Pronounceable) Name: A brilliant, immoral, and laconic mercenary repeatedly hired by Nale to neutralize V. Eerily able to predict and counter V's moves. Eventually revealed to be a second mole for the IFCC.
***
Redcloak- Main villain of Season One: Brilliant and charismatic leader of the Church of the Dark One, gradually revealed to be running most of the crime in the city, with plans to place cult members in key political positions and take over the city, bringing the worship of the Dark One into prominence as the city's dominant faith. Implied to be driven by some sort of tragic backstory, where a Dark One cult including his family was gunned down by federal agents.

Xykon- Main villain of Season Two: master criminal who arrives to take advantage of the power vacuum left by Redcloak's fall from grace- forces Redcloak to act as his new lieutenant, plans to seize control of a nuclear powerplant and threaten to cause a meltdown if his demands are not met. Greenhilt is Shot by Redcloak during the finale.

IFCC: The International Federation for Corporate Cooperation, a shadowy international group, and the main series villains. Years ago, they got a young Vaarsuvius out of some serious legal trouble, and arranged for the training that made her the brilliant detective she is today. Now they've come to collect on the debt. Often pictured as ominous silhouettes discussing an episode's events just before the credits roll.

F.Harr

2013-09-20, 04:02 PM

Ooooh. Do the episode titals always alliterate?

ReaderAt2046

2013-09-22, 10:40 PM

OOTS as a Slightly Comedic Murder Mystery/Romance Series (ala "Castle")

:elan: The protagonist is Edward Lewis Anthony Nottingham (stage name ELAN!), a multi-millionaire singer and entertainer and the foremost public figure in the oceanside metropolis of Azure City. In the first episode of the show, he gives a huge donation to the AZPD on condition that he be allowed to follow around (and annoy) Inspector Haley and Lieutenant Roy. He quickly proves an excellent crime solver, due to a combination of wits, money, connections, and perhaps most importantly, his Cloudcuckoolander personality. As Lieutenant Roy puts it, Most detectives reason from A to B to C to D, so that's what the criminals design their alibis to thwart. Elan, he reasons from A to Q to potato chip to D. How are they supposed to thwart that?. In a romantic relationship with Inspector Haley, and proposes in the final episode of Season 4. Season 5 opens on their honeymoon when their vacation house on the beach turns out to have the body of the former owner in the basement.

:haley: Inspector Haley Starshine is one of the two deuterotagonists, along with her senior partner Lieutenant Roy. Rather more free-spirited and loose, she forms a bridge between Lieutenant Roy's conservative rigidity and Elan's outright bizarreness. Originally from the bad side of town, and scraped close to becoming a delinquent at times. As a result of her heritage, she is passionately devoted to justice, but willing to bend the law a tad where she feels that justice and the law are not in line with each other. Inspector Haley continues to work for the AZPD after her marriage, as she believes her work to be worthwhile in and of itself.

:roy: Lieutenant Roy Greenhilt is Inspector Haley's senior partner and the other deuterotagonist. Of hard-working middle-class stock, he took to law enforcement chiefly out of a sense of duty. A firm believer in the necessity of upholding the law, but willing to accept his partner's slightly more lax views on the subject. While he and Haley have a deep affection for one another, it is strictly non-romantic, being closer to a father-daughter bond. In any case, Roy's affections are engaged elsewhere, as he is currently courting Miss Celia. It is widely speculated that he will propose at the end of the current season (number 5).

:durkon: Pastor Durkon is a very Southern Black Presbyterian Pastor. Vocal, engaging, and an reliable source of excellent counsel and equally excellent fried chicken and iced tea. Roy, Elan, Haley, Celia, and much of the rest of the main cast attend his church, and the intro to Season 5 reveals that he conducted Elan and Haley's wedding. Knows considerably more about what's going on than most realize, and the heroes frequently tap him for information. Married, but his wife is not a significant character.

:vaarsuvius: The station's pathologist and resident scientist. Does not get along well with Elan, as Elan's illogical mind and behavior drive V to distraction, while V's utter dismissal of art and music aggravate Elan. Roy tends to work best with V, as both are fairly logical and methodical in their thinking. Transsexual, with V's apparent sex changing from episode to episode. An atheist.

:belkar: Belkar is a professional cutter, thug, and part-time cage fighter. Somewhat a distasteful acquaintance, but he has his ear to the pulse of the underworld and is sometimes handy as extra muscle. Kept on a leash by the fact that any of the party could have their choice of a dozen capital offences to arrest him for with a few hour's digging.

Miss Celia is a professional lawyer, specializing as a defense attorney. She has over the years had a number of her clients saved from excellent frame-ups by Elan's digging, and is a good friend of the team. She doesn't get angry at Roy for charging clients of hers who eventually turn out to be innocent, though she does rib him about it on occasion. The two start dating somewhere in the middle of Season 4, and though Roy has yet to propose, it seems likely he will soon.

Captain Hinjo is the head of Roy and Haley's station, and is usually the one who's asking for reports, relaying information from other shifts or districts, and occasionally bugging the team for more evidence or a quick solution, depending on the specifics of the latest case.

Commissioner Shojo is the Azure City police commissioner. Generally a benign background presence, he gets involved only when the plot spirals onto an unusually high plane of society or an unusually broad scope.

F.Harr

2013-09-23, 09:04 AM

ReaderAt2046

2013-09-23, 09:34 AM

I love it. But, don't Inspectors genenrally outrank Sergeants, even Detective-Sergeants? And wouldn't V be the forensic pathologist for the entire PRECENT, and probably the city as well if not the surrounding county? Constent overwork could be an interesting character note.

Well, I thought Segeant was one rank above Inspector, but I did get my information on that from Wikipedia. And you're right about V probably handling the whole precinct, and probably doing a lot of out-of-precinct work.

F.Harr

2013-09-23, 09:57 AM

It depends on the service. I looked into it, too. in MOST services, an Inspecter outranks a sergeant but in some, (e.g. the Wisconsin State Patrol) it's a lower rank.

Sorry, I didn't mean to be obnoxious.

ReaderAt2046

2013-09-23, 12:10 PM

Skarn

2013-09-23, 12:31 PM

OOTS as a Slightly Comedic Murder Mystery/Romance Series (ala "Castle")
Amazing! I love it!

I might suggest adding Tarquin(probably a head of organized crime, good at slipping under the radar and making sure nothing "sticks") and Xykon/Redcloak(Terrorists I suppose?) though.

Well, I thought Segeant was one rank above Inspector, but I did get my information on that from Wikipedia. And you're right about V probably handling the whole precinct, and probably doing a lot of out-of-precinct work.
I would say Inspector is above Sergeant, but my only source is the set bonuses in Sleeping Dogs. :smalltongue:

F.Harr

2013-09-23, 01:20 PM

Oh, I'm not offended. I want to get it right too. Is the way I have it now better?

As far as I know, and that ain't far.

ReaderAt2046

2013-09-24, 07:35 PM

OOTS as a cycle of 12th century
:miko: Miko (a "he" -- no such thing as gender equality in chivalric romances) is a felon knight. "His" father died shortly after marrying "his" mother. At her birth, a prophecy said she would be the greatest and strongest of all knights, but would aftier killing "his" rightful liege. Her mother, horrified, gave "him" to a monastery, to avoid fulfilling the prophecies. However, the monastery was raided when "he" was old enough to take up arms, and, by chance, "he" ended up in the care of one of Shojo's knights, who trained "him". After a long friendship with Roy, both become estranged because of the magic of Xykon, and "he" kills Shojo. Roy takes revenge on "him" for the death of their liege, and defeats "him".

Question: Is this version of Miko actually male, or just a woman pretending to be a man?

Rogar Demonblud

2013-09-25, 09:20 AM

Given the French details in the plot proposal, male. Females use a different version of French. This would also apply to Italian and Spanish, although from what I recall the gendering in the languages is less extreme.

F.Harr

2013-09-25, 09:22 AM

It could be a great sub-plot, though.

Joe the Rat

2013-09-25, 02:31 PM

You could get quite the Orlando plot on that one, but it would take a lot of reworking of the backstory (or that the backstory is the cover story). But we're talking about plots from four centuries later than the specified genre.

t209

2013-09-25, 07:53 PM

How about
OOTS in dark fantasy universe, especially Berserk esque universe (Dark Souls, Berserk and Dragon's Dogma)
:roy: Roy as Roy the mercenary-with-a-dark-story
:elan: Elan as Pick Pocketing thief
:haley: Haley as Amoral Assasin

ReaderAt2046

2013-09-29, 11:57 AM

"Castle" OOTS episode 2: More Cast!

Tarquin is the head of EoB Entertainments. Most commonly known for the highly successful MMORPG Empire Of Blood, this corporation has its fingers in any number of entertainment pies. Over the course of several seasons, it becomes apparent that EoB is also the center of a vast web of criminal enterprises, many of which Elan and Co. have bumped up against and disabled or inconvenienced. Elan's father, but just as in Real!OOTS, Elan's parents are divorced and he was raised by his mother.

:nale: Nale is a mildly successful conjuror and stage magician, who also serves as the "face" for the Line, a small gang of crooks Tarquin often uses as his agents for moderately important tasks.

:sabine: High-class call girl, skilled con-artist, and mid-league assassin, Sabine functions as the Line's infiltrator, acquiring valuable blackmail material or prying out secrets via "honey pot" cryptanalysis.

:thog: Thog Line Muscle. Thog think singy-man silly. Thog think big black man impressive. thog like hit things.

ZZ'dtri is the Line's hacker, capable of cracking almost any system. Mute, he communicates entirely via e-mail, IMs, and similar methods. Finds V frustrating, as V's phenomenal intellect has enabled him to block every attempt Z makes to view or alter police files.

:xykon: is a psychotic anarchist bomber, who identifies himself simply as X. Though several of his bomb plots have been foiled by Elan and Co, he has still racked up a death toll in the thousands, as he prefers to target train stations, hospitals, and other densely-packed areas. Very difficult to catch due to a combination of lack of appearant pattern, great skill at avoiding capture, and a trigger-happy bazooka.

:redcloak: is X's accomplice. An ex-Black Panther who, as Roy puts it, "is still fighting a war that was won a decade ago", he is slightly more comprehensible than X, but no less dangerous. Seems to consider Roy a sell-out, and has a distinct personal hatred for him.

Mammal

2013-10-05, 11:31 PM

I just had literally the stupidest idea ever: Breaking Bad/OotS Crossover.

Elan is Jesse, Roy is Walter, Redcloak is Gus, and that's pretty much all I got.

I'm sorry. I get really dumb ideas when I stay up late to do homework.

F.Harr

2013-10-06, 02:58 PM

Dumber than "Stick Beach" and making Durkon a Quebekker? Come on, you can do stupider.

;)

Miriel

2013-10-12, 11:43 AM

Question: Is this version of Miko actually male, or just a woman pretending to be a man?
Whichever you prefer! I thought this "Miko" as an actual male, but there were plenty of litterary gender reversals like this, so it would be a good idea too!

ReaderAt2046

2013-10-27, 01:48 PM

OOTS as a Mission: Impossible-esque superspy movie!

:roy: is Agent Greenhilt, a top-secret agent for the FBI, CIA, MIB, or whatever other acronymal agency needs his help in any given movie. He sports a wide variety of cool gadgets, as well as highly unrealistic physical capability and a handgun and sheath knife for emergencies. The first movie feature him and his band of agents attempting to retrieve the G.A.T.E. (Geothermal Assault: Targeted Emitter), a device capable of setting up seismic resonances that can trigger earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, or other major natural disasters.

:haley: is roy's semi-unofficial second-in-command. A former master-thief, roy arranged to have her records erased from the police database in return for her joining him. Relies slightly more on infiltration and seduction than Roy, but can still pull off awe-inspiring acrobatics. Carries a dart pistol. Secretly married to Elan.

:elan: is the third active member of the team. His great asset is his sheer goofiness, which the team actively takes advantage of in two ways. First, Elan's palpable innocence makes him generally beneath suspicion, making him an excellent choice to scout out defenses. Second, he can always be relied upon for a harmless-but-effective distraction. After all, if everyone is looking at the goofball putting on a puppet show, they aren't looking at the secret agent crawling along the ceiling. Secretly married to Haley.

:vaarsuvius: is the team hacker, bypassing electronic locks and baffling security systems from the comfort of the getaway van. Also does doupble duty as an armorer, building a variety of powerful yet compact explosives for the team's use.

:durkon: handles the getaway cars, the safehouses, and most of the supply and payment side of things, serving as the interface between the team and the mundane world.

:belkar: is the nuclear option. Only used when things are FUBAR, but when he's used he can be relied on to kill all the bad guys, and probably most of the innocent bystanders as well.

Rogar Demonblud

2013-10-27, 08:48 PM

'probably most of the innocent bystanders'? I think you are selling the Belkster short.

warrl

2013-10-27, 09:47 PM

Mind if I go off in a completely different direction?

I present Iron Chef: OotS!

Roy: Bobby Flay
Durkon: Morimoto
Vaarsuvius: Alton Brown
Haley: Alex Guarnischelli
Belkar: Mario Batali

ReaderAt2046

2013-10-27, 10:14 PM

'probably most of the innocent bystanders'? I think you are selling the Belkster short.

Well, there are only so many innocent bystanders in line of sight.

F.Harr

2013-10-28, 01:01 PM

Mind if I go off in a completely different direction?

I present Iron Chef: OotS!

Roy: Bobby Flay
Durkon: Morimoto
Vaarsuvius: Alton Brown
Haley: Alex Guarnischelli
Belkar: Mario Batali

I love it!

But who plays the Chairman?

I've got it! MR. SCRUFFY!

Wardog

2013-10-29, 05:29 PM

Greenhilt and the Order of the Stick
Filmation saturday morning cartoon series, about a team of heroes fighting against an evil skeletal sorcerer.

The Heroes
The Order of the Stick.
Our band of heros.
Sir Roy Greenhilt.
The leader of the Order of the Stick, and the main character of the series. A mighty warrior, skilled swordsman, honest leader, and all-round Hero(tm). At least half the episodes involve him sving the day, while the rest of the OOTS provide minor assistance (or need rescuing). Popular with the younger viewers, but older fans realize he's a pretty dull character.

Durkon Thundershield
Greenhilt's stoic advisor and oldest friend. Durkon is a healer, but also a steadfast warrior. In a recent episode, a powerful vampire mind-controlled him and forced him to fight against his friends. Fortunately, his heroic will, and the power of friendship enabled him to free himself from the sinister influence, and he was back to normal by the end of the episode.

Haley Starshine
An expert archer and scout. Allegedly a thief (or possibly a pirate), but never shown to actually do anything illegal.

Elan
An eccentric, swashbuckling, happy-go-lucky bard. Close friends with Haley. Generally privides the comic-relief, but has also saved the party on several occasions.

Vaarsuvius
A powerful but arrogant mage, fond of blowing things up. Continually seeking powerful magic, this has often led him (and the party) into dangerous situations. In one particularly dark episode, he discovered a source of terrible power, and used it to defeat a dragon that was threatening his family. With the dragon at his mercy, he was about to kill it, until the rest of the Order convinced him to show mercy. This episode generated numerous complaints that it was unsuitible for children.

Belkar Bitterleaf
A bitter, cynical mercenary working with the Order. A real nasty piece of work, he lacks any heroic traits (other than bravery and combat skill). In other words, he is fond of G-rated "swearing", is reluctant to help anyone when it doesn't benefit himself, and expresses a willingness to hurt any villains they capture. Of course, the Order always prevents him doing anything too inappropriate.

The Villains
Xykon
An evil, skeletal sorcerer, with plans for world domination, and no compassion for anyone, not even (especially not even) his own minions. Constantly thwarted in his goals by the Order of the Stick, or his own hubris, or the incompetance of his minions, or double-crossing by his allies.

Redcloak
A cunning goblin, with dark magic powers. Xykons second-in-command, and general of his armies. More intelligent that Xykon, he is secretly plotting to usurp him, but invariably fails due to Order of the Stick, or his own hubris, or the incompetance of his minions, or double-crossing by his allies.

Goblins and Hobgoblins
The main forces of Xykon and Redcloak. Generally portrayed as a serious threat, but usually easily defeated by the Order (except when the plot says otherwise).

The Linear Guild
A team of villains, who occasionally work for Xykon, but have their own agenda.
Nale
The arrogant, scheeming, and generally incompetant leader of the Linear Guild. Elan's twin brother, and arch-rival.

Sabine
Nale's sinister, shape-shifting spy and second-in-command. Secretly plotting to usurp Nale as leader of the Linear Guild.

Thog
The dumb muscle of the Linear Guild, with an emphasis on "dumb". Tends to break things (deliberately or accidentally). Often inadvertantly undermines Nale's plans due to his clumsiness and stupidity. Unlike most villains, he has redeaming features: compassion to small animals. On several occasions this has led to him (inadvertantly or otherwise) thwarting Nale's plans.

Zz'dtri
An evil wizard. Arch-rival of Vaarsuvius. Secretly plotting to usurp Nale as leader of the Linear Guild.

Other characters:

Celia: a sylf. Sir Greenhilt's wife.

Hilgya Firehelm. A healer. Former member of the Linear Guild, but was convinced by Durkon that the ywere evil and she should leave them (in the first episode she appeared).

Kobolds: The linear guild has hired kobolds on several occasions, but the cowardly creatures invariable flee when forced to fight Belkar.

Lord Shojo: The eccentric ruler of Azure City, and intermittent ally of the Order.

Hinjo: a samurai, nephew of Lord Hinjo. Ally of the Order.

Miko Miyazaki a obsessive law-enforcer from Azure City. Is convinced the Order are actually evil, and periodically tries to arrest them on dubious grounds.

General Tarquin
Ruler of a (supposedly) evil empire, and the father of Elan and Nale. Rather eccentric - he is convinced that life is one big story or play, and that he is the villain. Constantly trying to arrange "the final showdown" between himself and Elan (who he is convinced is the hero of the story). Never shown to do anything actually evil.

Malak
Tarquin's Grand Vizer. The real power behind the throne in the Empire, and actually evil. He is (secretly) a vampire, and was responsible for mind-controlling Durkon.

ReaderAt2046

2013-10-29, 07:30 PM

Cerlis

2013-10-29, 07:38 PM

To prevent the derailing of the RL-OotS-Thread (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=15338693&postcount=1), I move this to a new one:

80s family Sitcom

Durkon is the uncle who has some boring office job and he's always playing straight and used as contrast to the "quirky, action laden family" we usually see. Also, Elan does not want to end up like him.

So...in season 5 he turns into Breaking Bad?

Souhiro

2013-10-30, 04:03 AM

As a Mecha Anime:

The Order would use vehicles that would combine to form a Giant Robot.

- Haley would be The Leader, piloting a red machine. Why? Because SHE'S A REDHEAD!!! Of course she's Red and her mecha is an Eagle

- Durkon would be the hard-working overweight guy, the one with Kevlard armor, the one who takes the knife and the bullet once -or twice- a episode, but he somehow always survives. His color is Blue and his mecha is a Bear

- Elan would be the comic wildcard, he does nothing or he does everything. In truth, he's an ELANOSAURUS REX, or have one as a pet. His colour is Yellow, his Mecha is a Velociraptor

- The Belkster would be the psychopatic, Haley would keep him bolted to the ground, maybe with magic or something, and when everything is about to break, they release him. Think of Belkar as Alucard in Hellsing. His color is Green, his mecha is a Piranha

- Roy would be a secondary character, he would form the left foot or something, because he's bald and in anime, heroics is measured in the longe and spiky your hair is. His color would be black, he pilots a Rhino, or something.

- Vaarsuvius is The Mentor, Zordon, Missin Control... whatever you want to call him. Why? Because s/he's old (200 years, and that) His color is Pink, he sends (Don't pilot, SEND) a robotic dragon to combine and form something akin to the Ultrazord.

- Celia? Roy's Muggle girlfriend that must NOT know that his boyfriend is a pilot, ever if he pop ups in TV, is called "Roy Greenhilt", not bothers to change his voice, and covers his identity with a domino mask.

- Xykon? the big bad, having a skull for head and such. He whips Redcloak and send giaint robotic mooks

- Redcloak would be a desperate try to make a simpathetic redemable villain, but he wouldn't catch on, and in the end, the heroes would torture Redcloak to death, and there would be much rejoicing.

- Monster in the Darkness? It's revealed to be a Catgirl.

F.Harr

2013-10-30, 12:44 PM

Very goofy! I find the extreme sugarization of the OOTS to be uncomfortably accurate to television these days.

THESE days? It sounds pretty accurate for children's T.V. my entire life.

Souhiro

2013-10-31, 04:02 AM

Very goofy! I find the extreme sugarization of the OOTS to be uncomfortably accurate to television these days.
Man, only need to see the old He-Man series. Or Bravestarr, or just anyone!

Rogar Demonblud

2013-10-31, 11:12 AM

Original GI Joe. Guns, cannons, missiles, lasers, flamethrowers, machineguns and the only person who got hurt bopped his head on a satellite dish.

Joe the Rat

2013-10-31, 11:45 AM

Original GI Joe. Guns, cannons, missiles, lasers, flamethrowers, machineguns and the only person who got hurt bopped his head on a satellite dish.And every vehicle carries parachutes, in case you need to bail out before they crash/explode. Jets, helicopters, jeeps, snowmobiles, giant subterranean tunneling machines...

Rogar Demonblud

2013-10-31, 06:00 PM

Although not the subs, so at least there's that saving grace.

Um, to put this back on topic, someone want to make a GI Joe version OOTS?

henrykazuka

2013-11-03, 06:03 AM

Are there any fans of Community (the TV comedy)?

Roy: Jeff Winger
Leader of the group, everyone depends on him to solve the problems they face on a daily basis.

Elan: Abed
Genre-Savvy character, the one everyone loves for his meta-humor.
(Fun fact: in OOTS, Elan helped Roy recruit the rest of the team, while in Community Abed helped Jeff form the study group)

Haley: Britta
The second in command, the anti-Winger, always showing her anarchic tendencies.

Belkar: Pierce Hawthorne
The least-liked member and the only evil one, always making sexist and racist jokes.

(around here I stopped seeing the similarities)
V: Shirley ? They are both married with children and the rest of the group sees them like "androgynous" characters.

Durkon: Troy ?? yeah, I've got nothing here.
Celia: Annie ?? Maybe because she's a love interest to Roy/Jeff.
And then we have Xykon and Redcloak - Chang and the Dean. I'm not sure how that works out yet.

Wardog

2013-11-03, 12:17 PM

Man, only need to see the old He-Man series. Or Bravestarr, or just anyone!

It was the original He-Man and the Masters of the Universe I had in mind when writing all that.

I also intended (but forgot) to have that "Despite avoiding all other mentions or implications of sex or sexuality, Sabine still dresses like a BDSM dominatrix", with a link to a pic of Evil-Lyn:
http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/4/49448/2414112-105072.jpg

(Also, does anyone else think that the original Teela looks a bit like Margaret Thatcher?)

F.Harr

2013-11-04, 12:43 PM

Elan: Abed
Genre-Savvy character, the one everyone loves for his meta-humor.
(Fun fact: in OOTS, Elan helped Roy recruit the rest of the team, while in Community Abed helped Jeff form the study group)

That is a fun fact!

But don't worry about similarities. If someone doesn't fit, make room for 'em!

ReaderAt2046

2013-11-20, 10:43 PM

Still another OOTS: MTG booster!

Tarquin: Legendary Creature-Human Warrior. 3(b/w)(b/w)(b/w). 5/5. Double strike, hexproof. (b/w) Put a 1/1 black and white Human Soldier token in play. Elan should be about 2 mana more expensive and have better stats. He's supposed to be my rival, after all.

Laurin Shattersmith: Legendary Creature-Human Wizard. 2UURR. 2/2.
2UU, Tap: All creatures you control are unblockable until end of turn. 2RR, Tap: Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated.

Durkula: Legendary Creature-Vampire Cleric. 3WB: 4/4. Whenever Durkula deals combat damage, you gain 1 life. 2B: Until end of turn, Durkula gains wither (He deals damage as -1/-1 counters) I hunger for the blood of the living!

ReaderAt2046

2013-12-08, 07:29 PM

Nobody has any ideas? :smallfrown:

Souhiro

2013-12-09, 04:00 AM

OotS as a Harem Anime?

Elan would be the protagonist, because he's his daddy says so.
Haley would be "The Chosen Girl", due canon and such things.
Celia would be "The Foil", a cute, shy and educated girl that sees Elan as a friend, but Haley sees her a rivel for Elan's afections.
Miko would be the psicotic yandere that chases you with her dual katanas just because you're breathing in the same country that her, but in the end she accepts Elan, and develop a crush on him.
Sabine would be The Rival, she comes later in the series, and tries to break the established pair. The oficial pair is saved by Miko, who keeps shouting "Smite Evil! Evil! Eviiiiil!" while slashing Sabine's clothes... while keeping her decency, this is PG, after all. (Her swords don't draw blood, PG again)
Tsukiko would be a cool american girl, riding a black horse, and listening black metal while she's in the privacy of her room.
Hylga is like a cool old sister. Her only interest in Elan is to make fun of him; but in other hand, she makes fun of everybody else too. She likes pranks and compares herself with Loki.
Vaarsuvius, you say? Our beloved elf would be A TRAP!!! I don't wanna talk much about this one, please :p

Roy would be an extra, he would sell Udon noodles in a corner, and keeps complaining "I... I have a MBA!"
Durkon would be Hylga's boyfriend in the distance, revealed in the last chapters.
Julio Scoundrèl would be Haley's infancy crush (She was a Scoundreler) but in the end, he would teach Elan everything he knows

Belkar would be HIMSELF, and end with all the girls that aren't Haley nor Hylga. Because he rocks. He's a sexy shoeless god of war, after all.

Xykon would be a toy for Elan's pet dog
Redcloak would be Mr Scruffy's food. He would keep whining about nosense things.

Mr Scruffy, in secret, pilots a mecha, and saves the day. Everyday. When the series ends, an avalanche of fans rushes to the studios, demanding a Mr. Scruffy spin off.

Bloodfest the Extreme-Inator is Mr. Scruffy buddy, when ScryffyBot isn't enough, Bloodfest makes the diference.

---

PS: Sorry for my awful english. Non Native English speaker :p

Sir_Leorik

2013-12-09, 04:44 PM

Although not the subs, so at least there's that saving grace.

Um, to put this back on topic, someone want to make a GI Joe version OOTS?

Introducing: G.I. Stick! A Real Northern Continent Hero!

G.I. Stick is an elite, highly trained, special mission commando force! Their mission: to defeat T.E.A.M. E.V.I.L., a ruthless terrorist organization, determined to rule the world!

:roy: Meatshield (aka Staff Sgt. Roy Greenhilt)
MBA graduate, and master of the greatsword, Meatshield is the leader of the Stick Team. Meatshield seeks to avenge the death of his father's mentor, who was murdered by Commander Xykon, leader of T.E.A.M. E.V.I.L. Meatshield's sister Julia, and his girlfriend, a law student named Celia, some times get caught up in G.I. Stick's adventures.

:durkon: Healbot (aka Field Medic Durkon Thundershield)
Trained doctor from the Dwarven Homelands, and the Stick Team's de facto chaplain, "Doc" Durkon hasn't been home in decades. Seen as something of a stick in the mud to the others, Bigfeet is always complaining about Healbot's hygiene, while Healbot criticizes Bigfeet's work ethic.

:haley: Crimson (aka Corporal Haley Starshine)
An expert makswoman, the team's master of infiltration, and quite good at procuring supplies from base by batting her eyelashes, Crimson is the "second-in-command" of G.I. Stick, much to Meatshield's consternation. She has begun a romantic relationship with Heart Throb, which her father, a career criminal named Ian, disapproves of.

:elan: Heart Throb (aka Private First Class Elan)
Heart Throb is a former rock star who enlisted to spread cheer and mirth throughout the armed forces, just like his idol, Elvis. Due to a mix up at the Armed Forces recruiting booth in Cliffport, Heart Throb was assigned to a crack squad of commandos, rather than asked to shill war bonds. Nevertheless, Heart Throb uses his knowledge of music, genre, and his skill with the rapier, to wage war on T.E.A.M. E.V.I.L.! Heart Throb and Crimson have begun a romantic relationship, much to the consternation of Heart Throb's father, Generalissimo Tarquin of La Empiria de Bludd.

:belkar: Bigfeet (aka Private First Class Belkar Bitterleaf)
Bigfeet is the biggest troublemaker in G.I. Stick, an impressive feat for a Halfling. (Yes that was a size joke. He hates those.) Meatshield recruited Bigfeet after the Halfling was tossed in the stockade after punching General Hippogriff in the Non Armor-Class DefenseS. In exchange for providing G.I. Stick with his combat and tracking skills, and not punching any more superior officers, Bigfeet is hoping to avoid a court-martial. Bigfeet hates everyone on the team except Crimson (whom he views as an object of desire) and Heart Throb (whose music has charms to soothe the savage breast; that's the original quote, look it up ya pervs!). Bigfeet clashes with Meatshield on a near daily occassion, and he and Invoker hate each other. Bigfeet's housecat, Mr. Scruffy, helps him track enemies and is a vicious fighter.

:vaarsuvius: Spell Jockey (aka Corporal Vaarsuvius)
A highly trained spellcaster, Spell Jockey is an Elf from the Western Continent. Following an acrimonious divorce, Spell Jockey came to the Northern Continent, and offered his (her?) services to G.I. Stick. Spell Jockey is paired with Blackwing, a wisecracking Raven familiar, who often acts as Spell Jockey's conscience. Spell Jockey really dislikes Bigfeet, after the Halfling made a drunken pass at her (him?) during the base's Holiday party. After an order from Meatshield to "knock it the Nine Hells off!", the animosity has quieted down. Meanwhile, a mysterious cabal, known as IFCC-La, scries upon Spell Jockey for unknown reasons!

From the night a cry goes out... T.E.A.M. E.V.I.L.!

:xykon: Commander Xykon (Real Identity: Unknown)
Commander Xykon is the leader of T.E.A.M. E.V.I.L., a ruthless terrorist organization, determined to rule the world! He alternates between a highly competent master strategist who would impress Sun Zu, and a buffoonish clown who can barely be bothered to tie his own sandals. Which Commander Xykon is the real one depends on whether he's being written by Larry Hama or not how seriously he guages a threat to be. When he judges the matter important, he directs his troops himself from his Battle Zombie Dragon (on sale now for only $34.95!), otherwise he leaves matters to Major Redcloak. Commander Xykon appears to wear a skull-like mask; in actuality that's his actual skull. Commander Xykon is a Lich, an Undead Sorcerer created to lead T.E.A.M. E.V.I.L.!

:redcloak: Major Redcloak (Real Identity: Unknown)
Major Redcloak is the senior operative in charge of day-to-day affairs ON T.E.A.M. E.V.I.L. A powerful Goblin Cleric of the Dark One, Major Redcloak is a skilled tactician and strategist. He often argues with Commander Xykon over the direction to take T.E.A.M. E.V.I.L. in pursuit of their "Plan" for world domination. Major Redcloak often points out how the Stick Team could be defeated once and for all, if only Commander Xykon were more proactive. However, Major Redcloak hesitates to launch a coup, especially after he recently deposed a major ally, Lady Tsukiko.

:mitd: The Monster in the Darkness (Real Identity: Unknown)
No one in Northern Continent Intelligence knows what this creature is. All they have managed to learn is that it is eternally engulfed in shadows, it eats copious amounts of stew, goulash and chulent, and doesn't seem to share the desire for world conquest that other members of T.E.A.M. E.V.I.L. do. However there is concern that Commander Xykon may have brainwashed the creature to do his bidding!

More to come!

Lexible

2013-12-09, 10:59 PM

The Casebook of Vaarsuvius Holmes
The Recorded Adventures of a Late Victorian Gaslight Detective
Being the Reminiscences of Roy. H. Watson, M.D.

Vaarsuvius Holmes The world's only spell-casting half-faerie detective; called in when the regular public detectives down at the Yard or some private party needs the proverbial Gordian Knot untangled.

Roy H. Watson, M.D. Retired soldier, practicing doctor, and would-be chronicler of Holmes's escapades. A bit of a straight man to Holmes' physical and mental vitality.

Inspector Stelanly Hopkins Slow and terrifically incompetent Scotland Yard detective and provocatively bad amateur close-up card trick magician who serves as a foil for Holmes' superior detection and magic.

Haley Holmes' personal valet and gopher. Haley was rescued off the street, where she maintains lines of communication with London's seedier elements that come in handy for the Great Detective.

Brother Durkoft Holmes Holmes' older and more magically studious half-sibling from a shorter parent. Employed by the Home Office in matters of high state, Brother Durkroft is easily more magically endowed than his younger sibling, but can't be bothered to get outside his usual rounds to be half as productive.

Mrs. Belkar Bitterleaf The astutely conniving boarding lady who looks after Holmes and Watson in ways both obvious and subtle.

Seasonal antagonists include:
Professor Moritarkie a sinister puppetmaster behind a shadowy criminal empire
Colonel Sebastian Malack the grim Professor's chief lieutenant, and a crack shot, but with dark appetites
Zz'dtrine Adler One of the few with the wits to outmatch Holmes, and thereby the only one capturing Holmes' heart.

Lexible

2013-12-09, 11:16 PM

Souhiro

2013-12-10, 03:52 AM

OotS as... SMURFS!

:roy: would be Angry Smurf. He's serious, stern and such
:haley: would be smurfette, for obvious reasons: Long and fair hair.
:elan: would be goofy smurf, since he's smarter than the rest think.
:durkon: would be Father Smurf, for just only one reason: BEARD!
:vaarsuvius: I was tempted to say "Brainy Smurf", but brainy has a low acceptance profile, I would say "Mullet Smurf": so, due the way the show is drawn, ,kids would ask themselves "Is he a sumrf or a smurfette?"
:belkar: would be... BELKAR! Yer, himself. He would torture Redcloak to death

:xykon: Woudln't appear at all, it's a kid show, and he's an skeleton.
:redcloak: would be Gargamel: A warlok, a practitioner of dark magic, and he ends tortured to death in every chapter at Belkar's hands. And this is played for laughts, and everybody laughs, indeed.

Trillium

2013-12-10, 04:45 AM

I'm suprised no one did this before.

Warhammer 40.000: Deathwatch

So OOTS are now a company of Deathwatch, an elite xeno-hunting force, comprised of members of different space marine chapters and Inquisitorial agents.

:roy: Captain Roael Greenhilt. An experienced marine of Dark Angels Chapter. While he adheres to their common quest, he seeks to find and destroy the powerful Fallen Angel, now Chaos Sorcerer, Xykon. He wields a great power sword, Greenhilt and wears Terminator armor.
He is the leader of the Company.

:durkon: Brother Durkon Thundershield. Wolf Priest of Space Wolves chapter. Wields Thunder Hammer and Storm Shield.

:vaarsuvius: Vaar Suvius. Librarian of Blood Angels chapter, which makes him look rather... androgynous. Wields his powers with brash inconsideration, until one days his excessive use of psy-energy attracts attention of three powerful Daemon-Princes, which did torment him for a while.

:belkar: Belkhar Bitterblade is an Assault Marine of Black Templar Chapter. He is fanatical and bloodthirsty, and wields two chainswords. As most Black Templar, he hates psykers, which leads to his rivalry with V.

:elan: Elan. Just Elan. Officially, he is an Inquisitorial adept, attached to the group to monitor their actions. As such, he is completely incompetent in battle. In truth, he is the Inquisitor and that is hinted by him predicting various events - though he calls them "dramatic conventions".
He is rather Radical.

:haley: Haley. Former Death Cult Assassin, former criminal and a long-time comrade of Elan.

Enemies.
:nale: Nale - Elan's twin brother, extremely radical Inqusitor. Seeks to murder his brother and assume his identity to gain control over Roy's Company.

:sabine: Sabine - Daemonhost of Slaanesh, which plays slave to Nale, but in truth slowly corrupts him.

:thog: Thog - is an Ork mercenary who serves Nale.

http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g68/Cats_Are_Aliens/Banners/ZzdtriNew.png Zz'dtri - Dark Eldar Homunculus. He too works with Nale and is fascinated by Blood Angels' mutations. He seeks to vivisect V and extract his gene-seed.

http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g68/Cats_Are_Aliens/Banners/Tarquin.png Tarquin - extremely ruthless and Puritan Inquisitor. He executes Nale for his radical ways and attempts to deal in same way with Elan.

http://imageshack.us/a/img4/8008/978c.png Laurin - Tarquin's pet Psyker. Exceptionally powerful. Proves to be a tough challenge for the Company.

:miko: Mi Ko is an Eldar Warlock which tries to get into Company's way. She is brutally murdered by Belkhar.

Team Evil.
:xykon: Xykon is a Fallen Dark Angel, a Chaos Sorcerer, no longer a lich. He seeks a planet Dorukan which contains the buried C'Tan - Godslayer. Xykon plans to sacrifice Godslayer to the Ruinous Powers, in return for becoming a Daemon Prince.

:redcloak: Redcloak is the lich now, but he is still green, for he is a Necron Lord. He seeks the planet of Dorukan himself, for it is the tomb-world where his C'Tan lord, Godslayer, is buried. He plans to sacrifice Xykon to Godslayer to awaken the latter.

:mitd: The Monster is a powerful xenos creature, wrapped in magical darkness. It is somehow controlled by Xykon.

Minor allies.
http://img83.imageshack.us/img83/6719/scoundrel.png Julio Scoundrel - obviously a Rogue Trader, and a long-time rival of Inquisitor Tarquin ("Trading with xenos? Unacceptable!")
Serves as main means of transport for the Company.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i294/trytoguess/O-Chul.png Ochulus is a noble and honorable Ultramarine, whom the Company saves from Xykon.

martianmister

2013-12-10, 07:57 PM

From Tarquin's point-of-view:

Elan = Luke Skywalker
Tarquin = Anakin/Darth Vader
Former Mrs. Tarquin = Padme Amidala
Haley = Han Solo
Belkar = Jar Jar Binks
Durkon = Lando Calrissian
Roy = Wedge Antilles
Vaarsuvius = Chewbacca
Blackwing = C-3PO
Mr. Scruffy = R2-D2
Malack = Wilhuff Tarkin
Laurin = Tiaan Jerjerrod
Miron = Firmus Piett
Jacinda = Darth Maul
Nale = Greedo
Xykon = Jabba the Hutt
Redcloak = Bib Fortuna
MitD = Sarlacc
Sabine = Jabba's slave girl
Zz'dtri = Jabba's other slave girl (!)
Thog = Jabba's thug
Shojo = Yoda
Miko = Mace Windu
Hinjo = Leia
Julio = Obi-Wan Kenobi
O-Chul = Qui-Gon Jinn
Lien = Ahsoka
Empress = Nute Gunray
Gannji = Boba Fett
Enor = IG-88
Kilkil = Cassio Tagge

....................

ReaderAt2046

2014-01-23, 05:27 PM

Socksy

2014-01-24, 05:11 AM

Oh gosh I love this thread *0*

Someone do Dangan Ronpa or SDR2, we already have a pair of twins!

Trillium

2014-01-24, 06:22 AM

League of the Stick

OOTS characters as champions in a DOTA-eque game.

:vaarsuvius: Vaarsuvius, the Evoker
Nuker

V has no 6-th level Ultimate ability. Instead, each spell has 5 ranks, much like Udyr's from LoL. As such, V can only max out three spells, leaving one spell weaker.

Abilities:
Passive: Maximize Spell
Every seven spell-casts, Vaarsuvius' next spell becomes Maximized, gaining bonus damage and additional effects.

Q: Fireball
Launches a skillshot, which explodes when it hits a creature, terrain or reaches its distance limit, damaging everything in an area.

Maximized Delayed Blast Fireball
Deals 50% bonus damage. If no target is Fireball's explosion range when it reaches maximum distance, it lingers for up 3 seconds, until something enters explosion radius.

W: Lightning Bolt
Launches a skillshot, which damages all targets it passes through.

Maximized Chain Lightning
Deals 50% bonus damage. If not enough targets are found in a straight line, the Lightning Bolt can arc to other targets in range instead.

E: Scorching Ray
Vaarsuvius launches several (1/3/5) rays of fire at the target, dealing magical damage. If the target dies before all rays are fired, the remaining rays are fired at random targets in range.

Maximized Disintegrate
Deals 100% bonus damage, firing a single ray, twice as powerful as all one/three/five rays of Scorching Ray combined.

R: Bugsby's Clenched Fist
A fist of pure force (skillshot) slams into target, dealing physical damage and pushing it away.

Maximized Bugsby's Crushing Fist
Deals 50% bonus damage over 2 seconds. Is no longer a skillshot, but a targeted ability (animation changes to squeezing and dragging the target, rather than pushing)

Animations: when Vaarsuvius dies, hir soul is dragged to Hell by the three fiends.
Vaarsuvius's auto-attacks look like Magic Missiles (obviously).
Vaarsuvius's taunt looks like Bugsby's Expressive Single digit, when V has Bugsby's Clenched Fist maxed out.

:miko: Miko Miyazaki, the Samurai
Assassin, fighter.

Abilities:
Passive: Smite Evil!
Every sixth auto-attack deals 25% bonus magic damage.
Attacking a target with an Evil! debuff resets the counter to zero and prevents it from incrementing.

Q: Katana Flurry
Channeled. Miko channels a flurry of strikes in front of her, slashing at maximum attack speed. This ability's cooldown is reduced by attacks speed, rather than cooldown reduction.
These attacks count as auto-attacks for purposes of procing on-hit effects and Smite Evil.

W: Detect Evil
Miko scans the area in front of her for evil enemies, revealing stealthed enemies. Enemies hit by Detect Evil gain Evil! debuff.

E: Windcharger
Miko becomes mounted, disabling Katana Flurry for the duration, but gaining massive movement speed bonus. Activate again to dismount. Lasts 10 seconds.
After dismounting, Windcharger stays as a minion for 5 seconds, fighting alongside Miko. It is also quite big and may block even champion-specific skillshots.

R (ultimate): IT'S YOUR FAULT!
Miko enters blind fanatical rage, gaining massive bonus attack speed, damage and lifesteal against target enemy champion and causing it to have Evil! debuff for the duration. Miko's line of sight is reduced for the duration and she doesn't share allies' vision, although she still sees her main target wherever it is and even if it is stealthed.

Animations: when Miko falls to 0 hp, she is struck by bolt of lightning, appears beige (fallen) and sits in meditation (instead of actually dying). That's main skin.
Alternate skin is Fallen Miko, and she is torn in twain when she dies.
She also needs a Blackguard skin. :smallamused:

Can't think of anyone else at the moment.
Whom you would like to see?

thatonesungod

2014-02-08, 04:36 PM

do julio tarquin and stuff Edit: also, do the empress of blood as a jungle mob, and DO XYKON REDCLOAK AND UHHH TSUKIKIO

Wardog

2014-02-09, 03:53 PM

do julio tarquin and stuff Edit: also, do the empress of blood as a jungle mob, and DO XYKON REDCLOAK AND UHHH TSUKIKIO

What is this I don't even.

thatonesungod

2014-02-09, 04:14 PM

What is this I don't even.

talking to trillum

Socksy

2014-02-09, 05:03 PM

Did anyone try a MLP one yet? I shall attempt. Here the characters are as ponies, albeit in a more D&D than Equestrian setting. I've only seen the first two series, so apologies for any huge errors.

Roy is an earth pony. His cutie mark is a sword. Not much to say here. His parents were unicorns, but he got the earth pony genes from further back in the family.

Haley is also an earth pony. She has a bow and arrow cutie mark. Many viewers think her mother was an alicorn, or that she's related to the god-emperors princesses, albeit very distantly.

V is a unicorn, who has a cutie mark looking suspiciously like a piece of paper with purple ink on it. You... Might not wanna get too close to that. Hir magic talent is basically just blowing stuff up.

Durkon is an earth pony. He knows obscure healing techniques, which he uses to help his friends. His cutie mark is a hammer.

Belkar is a unicorn. He isn't smart enough to use magic, so he gores opponents instead. His magic talent is stabbing people really hard, either with his horn or with knives, although he doesn't know it's influenced by his latent magic. His cutie mark i two daggers.

Elan is a unicorn. His cutie mark is a banjo lute sitar ukulele what the frickle is that thing anyway kazoo. His magic talent is music. He has an evil twin, of course, which leads to disaster.

-----------------------------------

Nale is a unicorn. His cutie mark is a goatee! His magic talent is illusions, which allows him to disguise himself as Elan.

Zzzzspellingri is a unicorn. His cutie mark is a shield with a magic missile bouncing off it. His magic talent is blocking and resisting other magic.

Sabine is still a succubus, but able to shapeshift into a pony rather than a human, and looking more equine in her true form. The cutie mark she usually chooses is a pair of lips, a black rose, or something else representing darkness and/or lust.

Thog is an earth pony. His cutie mark is a greataxe. They can use items in their mouths in MLP right?

Hilgya is an earth pony with a fire cutie mark, knowing dark secrets of evil gods. She likes Durkon.

--------------------------

Xykon is a mOTHERFRIKKIN DRACOLICH. Nothing more needs to be said.

Tsukiko is an alicorn who used to be a unicorn, using her magic to give herself wings. She likes Xykon, and tries to create enough minions to help him with his plans. Her cutie mark is a skull, and her magic talent is animating the dead.

Redcloak is a zebra. He wears the Crimson Mantle, giving him more power than he should have. He gets redeemed at the end of the series, his people gaining equality.

-------------------------

Tarquin is an earth pony. His cutie mark is the 'tragedy' mask inside a spiked helmet. He rules over three empires, along with his party.

Laurin is mY PRECIOUS BABY an earth pony, as far as the viewers are aware. She has a crystal embedded in her forehead, allowing her far greater power than V, Z, and almost every other unicorn. Nobody knows quite what it is or what its' limits are...
She has two ioun stones, and her cutie mark is a wormhole.

Malack is a headphone, according to my autocorrect a gryphon. He may or may not also be a vampire.

Miron is a unicorn. His cutie mark is a wilted flower. His magic talent is extracting the water from the bodies of his enemies.

Jacinda is some sort of large cat. Shoulder Pad Guy has only been seen from behind, (à la Konan/Blue Hair from Naruto before her introduction), so we know nothing about him.

GrayGriffin

2014-02-09, 11:34 PM

Why not Changeling for Sabine? They're pretty much G-rated succubi anyways.

Socksy

2014-02-10, 03:38 AM

Why not Changeling for Sabine? They're pretty much G-rated succubi anyways.

Alright then, changeling. C:

Trillium

2014-02-10, 03:47 AM

do julio tarquin and stuff Edit: also, do the empress of blood as a jungle mob, and DO XYKON REDCLOAK AND UHHH TSUKIKIO

http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g68/Cats_Are_Aliens/Banners/Tarquin.pngTarquin, the Tyrant
Tank, fighter.

Abilities:
Passive: Magnificent!
Tarquin gains a small amount of cooldown reduction for each nearby enemy champion and/or powerful jungle monster (baron, dragon, vilemaw, etc.)

Q: Dramatic Strike
Tarquin strikes a dramatic blow, with effect varying based on target's health.
If target has less than 33% health, Tarquin attempts to dramatically kill it, dealing bonus damage.
If target has between 33% and 66% health, Tarquin prepares it for a dramatic takedown, reducing its armor and magic resistance for 4 seconds.
If target has more than 66% health, Tarquin prepares to dramatically survive the battle, reducing target's attacks damage and ability power for 4 seconds.

W: Hoard of Magic Items
Self-target: Tarquin activates his Ring of Regeneration, regaining moderate amount of health over time.
Enemy target: Tarquin stabs the target with his magic dagger, dealing magic damage over time.

E: General's Gambit
Tarquin blocks next incoming attack, causing the attacker to be flung behind him, if the attack is melee. If hit by a ranged attack, cooldown is reduced instead.

R (ultimate): Shifting Allegiances
For the next 4 seconds, Tarquin is invulnerable to damage from enemy champions, is ignored by enemy turrets and is affected by benficial AoE effects from enemy champions (like Soraka's wish or Sona's auras). This effect ends if Tarquin attack's anyone.

Animations: E has different animations for melee and ranged attacks. Tarquin sidesteps melee attack like he did Roy in the pyramid and he catches ranged attacks.
R has animation of him switching from his imperial red to thog-like purple.
He needs skins for Empire of Tears and Empire of Sweat, I think.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i294/trytoguess/Tsukiko.pngTsukiko, The Mystic Theurge
Mage

Abilities:
Passive: Arcane and Divine
Each spellcast switches Tsukiko's mode between Arcane and Divine, granting her abilities different bonuses.

Q: Reanimation
Deals moderate magic damage to the target. If the target dies from it, a Wight spawns from its corpse. Damage against minions is quadrupled.
Maximum 6 Wights.
Arcane bonus: Wight deals bonus magic damage with its attacks.
Divine bonus: Wight gains health regeneration.

W: Inflict Terrible Wounds
Tsukiko deals high damage to the target or heals a Wight.]
This ability is pretty short-ranged.
Arcane bonus: Tsukiko gains Inflict Moderate Wounds, causing her next auto-attack to deal bonus magical damage.
Divine bonus: Tsukiko proceeds to heal some damage from herself (this involves an animation and can be interrupted).

E: Lightning Orb
Hurls an orb of lightning at the target, dealing moderate damage.
Arcane bonus: Cooldown is reduced by 1.5 second.
Divine bonus: 10% of the damage is true damage.

R (ultimate): Black Squadron
Tsukiko teleports to the target location (short-ranged) and summons several Wights.

Animations: Tsukiko doesn't walk, she floats in the air.
Her quotes change depending on whether she has any wights summoned. Without wights she speaks how lonely she is and how the player is tiresome. With wights she speaks only to her wights in a "cute" voice.

Too lazy to do more =)

jidasfire

2014-02-10, 12:25 PM

The Order of the Stick as a fighting anime!

Roy is a brash young martial artist who sets out on a quest to avenge his father's master against a mysterious assassin named Xykon. Despite his inexperience, Roy is both gifted in physical prowess and cleverly adaptable in his strategy, which gives him great potential to defeat his opponents. He has the power to summon a flaming green energy blade for finishing moves.

Durkon is Roy's first mentor on the road. A wandering monk in service of Raiden, Durkon is embittered as a result of his exile from the monstery. He sees in Roy a warrior with strength, wits, and conscience, and decides to teach him the various thunder strikes of his order, as well as heal him with his reiki skills.

Elan is Roy's first rival. When Roy and Durkon come across a wandering musician being accosted by brigands, they step in to save him, only to find he's a capable martial artist in his own right. Elan's skill comes from his unpredictability in combat, as well as his power to harness sonic vibrations into his moves. For a short time, Roy and Elan are equals, though Roy quickly surpasses him. Still, Elan remains useful by serving as the heart of the team, as well as being able to defeat some villanous lieutenants.

Haley is a mysterious thief preying on the city of Greysky. When Roy and company are hired to stop her, they quickly learn that the city is corrupt, and Haley is stealing to help the poor. Haley uses her training as a ninja to strike unseen from the shadows, as well as her various ranged chi attacks and sneak strikes to whittle down her opponents. She mostly manages to keep up with Roy in terms of power, and often faces down the powerful opponents when he is out of commission or otherwise busy.

Vaarsuvius is a cloaked martial artist who brags s/he never has to lift a finger to defeat his/her foes. S/he challenges all comers and proves to be unbeatable. Eventually, Roy hears of this challenge and accepts. In their first outing, he is defeated, and V declares him to be a simpleton. After thinking on his defeat, Roy realizes that V manipulates chi through subtle words and gestures, and, finding a way to block this, defeats V in their second battle. Vaarsuvius realizes that Roy's path will lead to extraordinary power, and so joins his quest. V tends to come and go, following his/her own agenda, but is a frighteningly powerful and cunning ally when s/he is around.

Belkar is Roy's second rival. A villainous lout and bandit with a dreadful reputation, Roy decides to defeat Belkar, and is surprised to find the bandit is a tiny fellow who loves animals. Despite Roy's initial amusement at this, Belkar proves to be a worthy foe, using a combination of great strength, agility, and dirty tactics to keep up. After his initial defeat, Belkar follows Roy around, occasionally attacking him, occasionally slaying his oppoents, saying that only he is allowed to defeat Roy. After awhile, he becomes a de facto team member despite his protestations and constant insults towards the others.

Nale is leads the Linear School, a gang of villains whose goal is to prove their martial arts skills by any treacherous means necessary. Nale uses his chi to manipulate his opponents into fighting themselves or each other so he can strike the final blow with no effort. Sabine is from a rival ninja school of Haley, one that cavorts with demons, and uses chi to shift forms and enchant her foes with her beauty. Thog is a giant warrior, who uses chi to turn his skin to iron, vexing even Roy's energy sword attacks.

Redcloak is the leader of a dark order of monks who were long ago exiled from the land and seek the restoration of their home and honor. In order to achieve this, he seeks five leylines which give access to the ultimate power of destructive chi. Redcloak is not much of a martial artist himself, but he has access to forbidden chi techniques which make him formidable nonetheless. He has made a deal with Xykon to allow him access to the destructive chi in exchange for assistance in harnessing it.

Xykon is a master assassin, who sits quietly and mysteriously in the background of Redcloak's dojo. Whispers of his deadly prowess are spoken by the few who approach him and live. Then, when he first emerges on screen, he's completely silly! He acts playful and forgetful, vexing the serious Redcloak. Then a minion speaks out of turn to him, and the assassin strikes with blinding speed, killing him without mercy. Xykon, we learn, has mastered several extremely evil chi techniques, granting him the power to kill and wither with a touch. He also eventually reveals that he can fly, opening the series up to heroes using the power of chi flight. In their first duel, Roy kills him with a lucky shot, not realizing Xykon has the power of reincarnation, the ability to regrow his body if even a piece of him survives. In their second duel, Xykon uses his full power and slays Roy with a single blow, sending him to train in the afterlife.

More to come, probably...

Sir_Leorik

2014-02-10, 12:44 PM

The Transformers of the Stick

For millions of years two races of advanced Warforged have battled for the fate of the galaxy! The heroic AutoSticksTM and the evil DecepXykonsTM have now brought their battle to planet Campaign World, where each side seeks control of the All-SnarlTM!

OptiRoy PrimeTM The brave and stoic leader of the AutoSticks, he wields the mighty Greenhilt SaberTM, which can convert into a pulse rifle! OptiRoyTM is deeply conflicted about the war he leads; while he wants peace, he knows that if he does not stand up to MegaXykonTM, no one else will. OptiRoyTM transforms into a covered wagon and ox; the wagon unfolds to reveal a command center, battle blasters and OptiRoy'sTM ArchonDrone!TM

BumbElanTM OptiRoy'sTM sidekick, and the AutoStick'sTM best scout, BumbElanTM is brimming with confidence that and eager to make OptiRoyTM proud of him! BumbElanTM transforms into a donkey with saddlebags... which fold open to reveal quaser missile launchers!TM BumbElanTM is the youngest and least experienced member of the AutoSticksTM, but he hopes to make up for that with enthusiasm!

HaleceeTM HalceyTM is the AutoSticks'TM resident bad girl! Armed with her cryo bowTM, vibrodaggerTM and whompsapTM, she's a heavily armed infiltrator, sniper, and guerilla fighter! HaleceeTM transforms into a Unicorn, and her horn is a missile launcher! In Unicorn mode, HaleceeTM is faster, sleeker and cuter than anyone else on the battlefield! But just because she's a deadly fighter doesn't mean HaleceeTM isn't interested in romance! She's eyeing BumbElanTM's chasis with an appreciative eye!

DinoBelkarTM DinoBelkarTM can be summed up in two words: primordial rage. DinoBelkarTM is the odd Warforged out in this group, because he's smaller, and yet more menacing than the rest of the AutoSticksTM. That's because he wasn't forged as an AutoStickTM; he defected from the DecepXykonsTM because "The pay sucked, the energon rations were too meager and these losers wouldn't know how to win a battle if the enemy got a rush rash!" Unfortunately, DinoBelkarTM still has many villainous traits that OptiRoyTM is hoping to weed out of him, before DinoBelkarTM goes too far. DinoBelkarTM transforms into an Allosaurus! In Dino mode, DinoBelkarTM can tear through a foot of metal with his teeth and fire lasers from his light up eyes!

MinerVaarsuviusTM MinerVaarsuviusTM is one of the AutoStickTM Elven Cranium MastersTM! MinerVaarsuvius'TM body is the Warforged drone MinerTM, while the Elf Wizard VaarsuviusTM transforms into Miner'sTM head module! Together, MinerVaarsuviusTM can unleash twice the magic and twice the processing power of a normal Warforged or Elf Wizard alone! MinerTM transforms into a Pegasus that VaarsuviusTM rides, while she rains fiery death upon the AutoSticks'TM enemies!

RatchDurkonTM Warforged may be tough, but even they get damaged! And when the AutoSticksTM get damaged, they turn to RatchDurkonTM, a crotchety Cleric who complains about having to not only fight the DecepXykonsTM on the battlefield, but patch up the AutosticksTM too! RatchDurkonTM transforms into a mule, whose saddle flips back to reveal medical instruments and scanners! In battle RatchDurkonTM wields a ThundershieldTM and a Megahammer!TM

Coming soon: the DecepXykonsTM, the StuntiGuildTM, the Sapphire VanguardTM, the FiendassonsTM, and Lord TarquinTM and his army of Evil Cranium MastersTM!

The Glyphstone

2014-02-10, 02:14 PM

OOTS as an Inspirational Sports Movie

:roy: Is the coach of the high school Sticks. A former pro ball player whose batting career ended when the star pitcher of his rival team, Xykon, shattered his arm. Now he's stuck coaching high school baseball and remembering his glory days. He has a decorated bat that his deceased grandfather, an MBA all-star, passed down to him, and feuds with his bureaucrat sports-hating father.

:elan: The class clown, signing up for baseball because band was full and he wasn't strong or fast enough for any of the other sports. Loves to sing and play random instruments, annoying the other team members to no end. Raised by his free-spirited hippie mother after a harsh divorce, and separated from his twin brother. Thought by most people to be gay, but is harboring a secret crush on Haley that expresses itself in long love ballads written into his notebook.

:haley: A tomboy with a chip on her shoulder, thanks to her low-income upbringing by a paranoid survivalist father on the edge of town. Extremely agile and fast, but has trouble working as a team with anyone. Signed up for baseball because it was the only co-ed sports team at the school. Feels a kindred spirit for Elan as another rebel against society's norms.

:durkon: An exchange student from Scotland, with an incredibly thick Highlands accent. Understands Coach Roy's resentment with the bred affinity for feuds of a Scottish clansman, is the stolid and unflappable emotional center of the team. Swings his bat like it is a hammer, typically either missing outright or scoring a home run.

:vaarsuvius: The school's pre-eminent stereotypical geek, complete with pocket protector and thick round glasses. Forced into signing up for a sport by their parents, picked baseball because it mean the most time sitting on the bench. Not athletic, but brilliant and capable of calculating complex mathematics and geometry on the fly.

:belkar: A notorious delinquent and juvenile criminal, court-mandated to participate in an after-school sport to keep him off the streets until his curfew. Loves animals and hates people, enjoys pulling cruel pranks on V whenever Coach Roy isn't looking. Fights dirty on the field, with opposing basepeople letting him tag safe or risk an elbow in the kidneys.

:xykon: Coach Roy's rival, a sadistic and evil man whose own pro-ball career lasted not much longer than Roy's when he was caught taking near-lethal levels of performance-enhancing drugs. No longer able to afford his drug regiment, he has shrunk to an almost skeletal appearance and coaches the Linears, the championship-winning rivals of the Sticks.

:redcloak: The corrupt local league commissioner, old buddies with Xykon and willing to let his less-than-ethical activities on and off the field slide by whenever he can, because Xykon's success means prestige for Linear High, his old alma mater.

:nale: Elan's twin brother, simultaneously the lead soloist in the band and Linear High's most beloved sports player. After their parents divorced, he was raised exclusively by their ruthless corporate lawyer father, and brings the same take-no-prisoners attitude to everything in his life while simultaneously desiring true accolades outside his father's shadow.

:sabine: The snobbish, preppy head cheerleader of Linear High's cheer team and Nale's girlfriend. Viciously skilled in the arts of social warfare, and willing to stoop to any means no matter how underhanded to crush social rivals or boost her own status and reputation.

:thog: Has the body of a star football player and the brain of an overcooked turnip, no one is quite sure how he ended up on the baseball team. But as long as someone is telling him how to swing and where to run, he's a fairly good player.

:mitd: A hobo who lives under the stadium bleachers, and apparently has for years without coming out. No one knows what he looks like, but he is friendly (if a bit touched in the head) and always has some heartwarming encouragement to offer.

Coach Roy will struggle to weld this band of misfits into a real team, while simultaneously discovering the strength of spirit he still has inside him. They'll see ups and downs, including thugs beating Haley's father into the hospital at the order of Coach Xykon. They'll make it to the championship game against the Linears, but get crushed in the first few innings as strange and suspicious mishaps keep occurring, only to be cheered on by the words of the MITD and a rousing speech by Elan. Elan will improvise chants for the Stick's fans to mock the Linears, Vaarsuvius will analyze the signals and patterns of the Linears to predict their throws and steals. They'll go into extra innings, Belkar will get disqualified from play after injury-sidelining Nale in revenge for seeing him kick a stray cat out of the Linear dugout, and the game will hinge on a final swing by Durkon, who knocks it out of the park for a grand slam. Haley will spontaneously kiss Elan in celebration, returned to the surprise of both. Xykon will get arrested by the Azure County Police Department for tampering with the Stick's equipment, Belkar will adopt the stray cat, and Vaarsuvius will earn a full-ride scholarship to MIT as an analytical consultant for their intramural baseball team.

Sir_Leorik

2014-02-10, 05:36 PM

The Transformers of the Stick: Part 2

For millions of years two races of advanced Warforged have battled for the fate of the galaxy! The heroic AutoSticksTM and the evil DecepXykonsTM have now brought their battle to planet Campaign World, where each side seeks control of the All-SnarlTM!

MegaXykonTM The cruel, despotic leader of the DecepXykonsTM, MegaXykonTM was once a common laborer forged in a one-horse torus-city on the Warforged homeworld, but he rose up, using the sorcerous powers in his exostructure! MegaXykonTM soon began to amass an army to conquer their homeworld and subjugate the cosmos! MegaXykonTM transforms into a Zombie Dragon which fires bone missiles from it's underbelly! MegaXykonTM is blissfully unaware of OptiRoy Prime'sTM neverending feud with the DecepXykonTM leader.

StarCloakTM StarcloakTM is MegaXykon'sTM scheming lieutenant, though he plays the role of subservient lackey very well. StarcloakTM blames MegaXykonTM for StarcloakTM murdering his own Forge-brother, and looks forward to the day that he alone controls the All-SnarlTM! StarcloakTM transforms into an F-22A fighter jet. What? Not some of us got passing grades in aeronautic engineering (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0423.html). In fighter jet mode StarcloakTM is equipped with Flame Strike launchers; in Warforged mode he uses a Disintegrate ray and a Smite Gauntlet.

TsukikrasherTM TsukikrasherTM loves Lord MegaXykonTM, and would do anything to get the DecepXykonTM leader to return her amorous feelings. She also hates StarcloakTM with a passion, and seeks to usurp Starcloak'sTM position as MegaXykon'sTM second-in-command. Tsukikrasher transforms into a Hebi-No-Onna (http://www.lomion.de/cmm/hebinoon.php) by flipping her arms forward to reveal venomous snakes! TsukikrasherTM also comes with four WightForges!

More to come!

jidasfire

2014-02-17, 02:16 PM

OOTS as a fighting anime, continued!

The Monster in the Darkness is a masked martial artist who sits in the background and never attacks, leaving the audience to wonder what he's going to do and when he's going to do it. We occasionally receive subtle hints that he is ridiculously powerful, but for whatever reason, he stays out of combat.

Celia is a princess of the Court of Heaven, skilled in diplomacy and calligraphy. While she is intelligent and useful, she is often played as ditzy and moody, and occasionally bonks the others on the head when her electric mallet.

Miko is Roy's third rival. While the Order gets along with the rest of the Sapphire Dojo, who teach them many techniques and skills, Miko refuses to change her mind about them. In fact, she is the first rival who doesn't change her ways and become friends with Roy after their first few fights. Unfortunately for her, they never get to have a final duel because she is slain during a battle with Xykon and Redcloak.

Horace Greenhilt is Roy's afterlife mentor, who teaches him the secret ultimate technique of countering chi attacks before they are released. Julio Scoundrel is Elan's mentor, who teaches him the secret ultimate technique of combining his sonic attacks with taunts and pressure points, and as such he becomes skilled in a comedic version of Dim Mak style.

Tarquin is the host of an evil tournament called the Tarquin Games (no surprise there) in which he pits deadly opponents against each other for his own evil amusement. Naturally, the Order ends up fighting in it, along with the Linear School. Tarquin himself is a martial artist whose skill lies in the fact that no one can hit him and he is able to block or dodge nearly every form of chi. He is also a member of the Empire Six, a cabal of villains who overthrow and conquer kingdoms with their skills.

ReaderAt2046

2014-03-16, 04:07 PM

jidasfire

2014-03-16, 06:46 PM

Thanks! I have a lot of fun with these and honestly try to keep this thread alive where I can.

thatonesungod

2014-04-20, 12:10 PM

hoping this thread comes up again soon

ReaderAt2046

2014-04-30, 08:02 AM

OOTS in the world of GIRL GENIUS!!!

:roy: Roy Greenhilt, GENTLEMAN ADVENTURER!!!! has made it his mission to hunt down and kill those Sparks who put themselves above the law, aided by a small band of sidekicks and good Sparks. Though he lacks the Spark himself, his conventional intelligence is formidable. He doesn't talk about his origins, but there are hints that the first Spark he slew was his own father.

:haley: Haley Starshine was once one of the greatest thieves in the city of Greysky, but even her luck eventually ran out. She was taken by the city's Spark lord, and was about to be hung when Roy executed the lord and threw Greysky into chaos. Haley joined Roy's crew out of gratitude and a desire to pull off far more epic heists. She and Elan are secretly married.

:elan: Elan is a minor Spark who has joined Roy in hunting down and dealing with his villainous kindred. Elan's spark is deceptively powerful, but he tends to use his gifts only for absurd or amusing purposes. Has a construct-familiar named Banjo. He and Haley are secretly married.

:vaarsuvius: A powerful Spark, V has been biologically and genetically genderless since shortly after V's breakthrough at the age of 13. Joined Roy for vengeance against Z, but has since stuck on because V finds V likes being able to feel good about Vself.

:durkon: A servant of the Fourth Papacy, Inquistitor Durkon works with Roy to execute His Holiestness's orders to hunt down and destroy the blasphemous Sparks. What the party does not know is that Durkon has recently been captured by rogue Geisterdarmen and a mysterious extradimensional being installed in his mind. This being has all of Durkon's memories, full control of the body, and is manipulating the party to some unknown purpose.

:belkar: A construct created by a particularly powerful and wicked Spark, Belkar is known to contain elements of pirhana, wolverine, pit bull, and African Killer Bee. After Roy destroyed his master, Belkar signed on with Roy for lack of any other source of orders.

jidasfire

2014-05-05, 09:30 AM

OOTS in the Shadows of the Apt universe. Some of this will probably be a bit specific, to the point that like five of you other than me will get it. Apologies in advance.

Roy is a Beetle-kinden of the Collegium. Raised by his parents, both high-ranking professors of the city, he completed several fields of study, but ultimately became a soldier against his father's wishes. With his trusty customized snapbow, he sets out into extremely hostile Wasp territory to slay a deadly Mosquito sorcerer named Xykon. To this end, he has gathered a small company of outcasts, many of whom were displaced by the war.

Durkon is an ant-kinden of Sarn. Though he was loyal to his King, it was perceived by the ant mind-link that there was something undesirable about Durkon, so he was exiled and made into a renegade against his will. Despite this, he is still loyal to his city and King. He is a skilled artificer for an Ant, specializing in both medicine and electric-powered machines. He becomes loyal to Roy after the Beetle, while fighting a Wasp legion, refuses to take the lives of their Auxilian slave-soldiers and instead helps them to free their families. Unfortunately, Durkon is eventually possessed by a Mantis-ghost of the Darakyon, which he plays off as simply losing his Aptitude.

Haley is a Spider-kinden of Solarno. Her family never quite made it into the Aristoi, so they turned to organized crime instead. Her father, a powerful member of the crime family in question, was imprisoned and held for ransom by the Wasp Empire, and so she abandoned the city for the Lowlands in search of him. She has a particular hatred for the Wasps, and joins Roy's cause to rob them blind and use their vast wealth to become an Aristoi in her own right.

Elan is a Dragonfly/Wasp halfbreed of the Commonweal, who strongly favors his Dragonfly mother to the point that his Wasp heritage is barely noticeable. Despite the ugliness of what the Wasps did to the Dragonfly homeland, Elan never cared much about the war, simply making his way through life and falling in with Roy's band almost without anyone noticing. Despite seeming like a useless fool to many, Elan's Inapt senses are extraordinary, and he can perceive the supernatural world in a way no one else can, which has led Roy closer than ever to Xykon.

Vaarsuvius is a moth-kinden of Tharn. V resents the intrusion of the war into his/her arcane studies, and his/her own people's capitulation of the Wasp Empire, and so has set off in search of power from the ancient world. Despite having no love for the Beetles or other Apt people, Vaarsuvius respects Roy for not only believing magic exists, unlike many of his people, but even having some knowledge relating to it (Inapt Studies was one of his majors at the Collegium). S/he is followed by a large black moth who serves as his/her familiar.

Belkar is probably the only Fly-kinden Weaponmaster in existence. No one knows where he came from or how he came by his training, but those few who have fought him and lived say he fights like a Mantis-kinden, i.e. with great skill and no mercy. He is rather liberal in terms of their code of honor, and in that respect is more like his Fly brethren. He loves the war, as it means he can fight and kill with abandon. He wears two of the Mantid bladed gauntlets, and possesses the rare Ancestor Art of speaking to and befriending insects.

Xykon is a powerful Sarcad of the Mosquito-kinden. Cruel and ruthless as the rest of his people but unwilling to use the rising power of the Wasps as the rest of them, he has set out with the rogue Woodlouse who calls himself Redcloak in order to wake the ancient horror known as The Worm in order to overthrow the Apt races and rule the world.

Redcloak is a Woodlouse, both Apt and Inapt, and particularly resentful of the fact that the Wasps were once ruled by his own people, Redcloak seeks the ancient evil power of the Worm to restore his people to glory, despite the fact that it was actually responsible for their downfall. He has a following amongst the disaffected Inapt races who are sick of the brutality of the Wasp Empire, as well as the more enlightened tyranny of the Beetles and Ants.

Nale is a member of the Wasp Empire's secret police, known as the Rekef. As with his brother, he is half-Dragonfly, but he favors his Wasp side and was raised in the Empire by his father. His halfbreed heritage meant he would never rise terribly high in the army, but as the Rekef are more practical and take all comers, he found a place there, managing to control a rotating cabal of spies and assassins.

Sabine is a Spider-kinden sorceress known for her shapeshifting prowess. Unbeknownst to Nale, she also serves the Aristoi of the Spiderlands and reports to them on matters of the Wasps.

Thog is a Scorpion-kinden of Nem. While many of his kind are abandoning the old ways and becoming Apt, Thog is as Inapt as they come, relying on his savage strength and toughness to survive. Also unlike most of his people, who worship only power, Thog is loyal to his master Nale out of friendship.

That's all I've got right now. Possibly more to come.

RusVal

2014-05-05, 03:07 PM

Sci-Fi Near-Future Techno-Thriller
(Ala Elysium)

Strategic Tactical International Corp of Kleaners
"It means someone really wanted to spell out 'Stick'."

:roy: Ex-special forces, currently head of a small PMC dedicated to spreading law and order to third world countries. Success has been mixed. At the start of the story gets the news that his father had been murdered by a madman by the name of "Xykon", and decides to round up a team to hunt down and kill him. Roy uses a highly advanced Exoskeletal power suit to further enhance his already formidable strength and combat abilities, which revolve around using a special Vibro-sword designed by his grandfather (que vibro-tool jokes).

:haley: Cat-burglar who initially works her way onto Roy's team to avoid heat coming down on her, never-the-less uses her lock-picking and marksmanship to great effect to help the team. Eventually decides to stay on for her own reasons. Mostly uses skill over fancy gadgets, though she does have an experimental rail-gun (how she got it she won't say) which lets her use a number of different experimental ammo types (how she got them she won't say).

:elan: The annoying "youthful sidekick" who gets swept up in the mess, yet is gleefully ignorant of just how much danger he is really in. A guitarist by trade (and not a very successful one at that), he attempts to use his "street-savvy" ways to help out the team. Naturally, this tends to just cause more problems. His main saving grace is his uncanny ability to use his vast movie-trivia knowledge to his advantage. Uses an old rapier from his college fencing team ("You went to college?! What did you study?" "English Lit.").

:durkon: Former SAS, is a long-standing member of the STICK. Team medical officer, spiritual guidance councilor, and riot control expert, he is just as adept at treating wounds as he is handing them out using his advanced riot shield and modified "stun hammer".

:vaarsuvius: Resident mad gadgeteer ("I'm not mad, just easy to anger."), and just as ambiguously-gendered as before, hiser main goal in life is to fill the world WITH SCIENCE!! How, (s)he does not care. Only whether or not heris new Telsa Coil or Plasma Caster will function under the most extreme conditions, and what is more extreme than combat? Yes, (s)he does have a jetpack. No, you cannot have it.

:belkar: A madman who wants to watch the world burn. Really, it's Belkar, he's the same pretty much anywhere. Only now he can get the best post-modern weaponry that money can buy.

And now the villains:

:xykon: By the time the STICK catch up to him, Xykon has long since uploaded his mind into a computer AI (XYKON), and uses a skeletal robot as an avatar. This robot has all the latest technologies built in, including an array of high-end weaponry, as well as experimental nano-machines which he uses to create cyborg zombies. Is also suffering from GLADoS levels of AI boredom, and does evil things because he finds it funny.

:redcloak: Part of a failed super-soldier project, Goblins are instead sold off as cheap troops to be slaughtered in the hundreds. The mysterious red-cloaked Goblin hopes to change that by creating a world where they are in charge. How he intends to do that is unknown. What is known is that he sees XYKON as a pivotal part of that plan.

:mitd: An unknown creature, currently is cloaked in advanced active camouflage... that XYKON won't let him turn off.

:roach: Yeah, they still have 'em in the future. That they can talk is... I dunno, genetic experimentation gone wrong?

:nale: A wanna-be warlord head of LINEAR, Nale first runs into the STICK as he attempts to steal some technology from XYKON. After almost killing his long-lost twin brother, becomes a thorn in the STICK's side.

:sabine: A genetically-modified woman designed to be a honey-trap, was "freed" by Nale and now has a rather twisted romance with the man.

:miko: At one point during the journey, the STICK get on the bad side of the Japanese government. Miko is the Black-Ops agent sent to fetch them. Being Black-Ops, has all sorts of story possibilities about government morality.

TheTeaMustFlow

2014-05-10, 11:57 AM

OOTS In Firefly

Theoretically, the good ship Sticky is a Greenhilt-class freighter (just upmarket from a Firefly) operating in the lawless border planets. In practice, the Sticky's crew are privateers and bounty hunters, bringing good old vigilante justice to the border planets in exchange for cashy money.

:roy: is Sticky's fearless captain. He comes from a line of captains and lawmen so long that the Greenhilt-class was named after them, and his decision to dust off the family ship and follow in their footsteps estranged him from his late scientist father. However, in his last will and testament, Eugene Greenhilt left his son with his current mission - to hunt down the man who had murdered Eugene: A criminal mastermind by the name of Xykon...

Roy prefers to solve problems without violence, but he's deadly with the old family shotgun. Furthermore, he serves as gunner for Sticky's recently installed Starmetal-pattern laser.

:haley: is Roy's slightly-less-fearless second in command and pilot. Once a member of the Greysky syndicate, she joined Roy in hopes of raising enough money to ransom her father, a political dissident imprisoned by the Governor of Tyrinar, and to do a little good on the way. While Roy may despair of her general-purpose greed, he knows there's no one better for sneaking, sniping, or spaceflight, making her an invaluable asset to the team.

No one's quite sure of how :elan: made his way onto Sticky's crew, though current bets are on either Roy's pity or Haley's... interest. Certainly, it wasn't for his brains, or his competence in a fight. However, his infuriatingly cheerful demeanour, incredible singing voice, and natural magnetism have made him occasionally useful. Mysteriously, he possesses the vermilion-level clearance of a high-ranking Alliance official (later revealed to be thanks to his father, Cabinet Secretary Tarquin).

:durkon: is a Shepherd and the ship's doctor. After serving as a combat medic in the Unification war, he found religion and joined the Abbey, which promptly sent him back out again to do justice in the Lord's name, which is how he found himself on Sticky. Though he'd rather let Roy talk things out (an area Durkon is rather poor in), if it comes to fighting he's a dab hand with an Alliance Fed's stun rifle, not to mention his really big hammer.

:vaarsuvius: is Sticky's resident expert on all forms of technology, from engineering to computers to explosives, having joined the crew to test out his inventions in the field. Not the most charming of people, but Sticky would probably fall out of the sky without his expertise. Despite his frailty, his aforementioned skill with explosives makes him very dangerous in a fight when Roy isn't concerned with collateral damage.

:belkar: is the same vicious little SOB he always is - Sticky's answer to Jayne, but without Jayne's altruism, politeness, and respect for human life. Or, for that matter, stature.

:xykon: is the Niska-esque overlord of a criminal empire spanning the entire system. While his goofiness cause many to underestimate him, his genius ensures that, one way or the other, no one does so twice. Both he and his personal ship, the Evilgasm, are tricked out with the very best in experimental weaponry, making him a terrifying foe to face in any arena. Currently, he is looking for the Snarl, a mysterious [CLASSIFIED - PARLIAMENT AUTHORIZATION REQUIRED]

:redcloak: fought for the Independents during the Unification War, and never really stopped fighting it after they lost. He and his flotilla of ex-Browncoats, the Crimson Mantle, now wage a brutal guerrilla campaign against the Alliance, and have joined up with Xykon to make their old enemies pay.

:mitd: is [CLASSIFIED - PARLIAMENT AUTHORIZATION REQUIRED]

Admiral Shojo leads Alliance Task Force `Paladin`, officially sent to bring order to the border planets, and unofficially sent to find and [CLASSIFIED - PARLIAMENT AUTHORIZATION REQUIRED] the Snarl before anyone can [CLASSIFIED - PARLIAMENT AUTHORIZATION REQUIRED]. Commanding from his flagship, the I.A.V. Azure, he projects the image of your common or garden mad old admiral, but is in fact a highly effective and when necessary ruthless strategist. This comes back to bite him, however, when Captain Miyazaki disintegrates him for his perceived crimes.With Paladin in disarray after his death, Xykon attacks and defeats resulting in Azure being destroyed and the survivors of the Task Force scattered.

Captain (now Admiral) Hinjo is Shojo's second in command. Unlike his cynical and manipulative superior, he is steadfastly loyal and a fervent believer in the Allied cause. He is an intelligent and effective leader, both as captain of the I.A.V Argent and as Admiral following Shojo's death, but has a tendency to allow the regs to get in the way of his better judgement.

While Hinjo is an example of what an Alliance officer should be, (Former) Captain Miko Miyazaki is everything wrong with the Alliance personified. Fanatical, over-zealous, and very trigger happy, she helped make the sight of Alliance ships (particularly her own, the I.A.V Windstriker) something that the locals hate, rather than welcome. However, she is frighteningly good at hunting pirates - which is a problem, because she decides on the Sticky crew as her next target. After finding out that Shojo is employing Roy and his group (in violation of Alliance protocol), she confronts him and summarily executes him with her laser rifle. Hinjo then naturally strips her of her rank and brigs her, but when Xykon attacks, she escapes and, seeing that the battle is lost, overloads the core of Azure in a futile attempt to destroy Xykon.

Jaxzan Proditor

2014-05-10, 12:20 PM

That is an excellent idea! :smallsmile:

FinalFortress

2014-05-14, 09:42 PM

Mercenary/A-team Style

Roy- Leader of the pack, from USA. Wields a heavy machine gun. (Maybe he wears an EOD suit? To tank bullets? I don't know...)
Haley- Sniper of the group, from France. Originally hired as mercenary work, now sticks with it for Elan. Wields-you guessed it- a sniper rifle.
Durkon- Combat Medic, old pal of Roy from the war. Immigrated to Us from Scotland. Wields a shotgun.
Belkar- Wanted in 50 countries, joined group to escape the law. No one knows his real past. Wields dual sub-machine guns.
Vaarsuvius- Mild mannered chemist, disgraced after accidental explosion kills several. From Germany. Joins group to heal his pride. Wields a multi-warhead rocket launcher, but he is known to improvise a LOT of weaponry.
Elan- American, born from a liaison of an Italian mob boss. Picked up by group because Roy (owes some money? feels bad for him?). Is more of a support role, gives ammo and does some minor medical work. Wields an SMG.

Xykon- Shady boss who has several prosthetics, wears a skull mask. Not much for show, but he's better with explosives than Vaarsuvius (Also pilots, then abandons an attack helicopter). Commands an army of fanatics given to him by-
Redcloak- Cult leader who wears the bloodstained cloth from when US officials raided his village. Uses traditional medicine.
Tarquin- Italian mob boss. You don't want to meet his little friend.

Lord Shojo- After witnessing the destructive power of the nuke in Hiroshima, he swears that he will never allow anyone unworthy to harness its power. He soon spreads his beliefs to other super weapons. He's a big man in the Yakuza; he commands a group of warriors who believe that they are a vigilante church.
Miko Miyazaki- The church's assassin. Raised by Shojo (who found her as an orphan), she believes that her missions to kill people are God's work. Wields a pistol in conjunction with an sub-machine gun.
Hinjo- Shojo's "nephew" (Shojo kinda had an affair). He wields the same armament as Miko

Plot revolves around how the factions (Mafia, Yakuza, Redcloak's Cult) are trying to assemble a superweapon whose parts are scattered around the globe.
I am well aware that this is not realistic in any way.

ReaderAt2046

2014-06-02, 09:41 PM

OOTS as a D&D group!
or
What the players would be like if the Order had them.

:roy: Police detective by day, nerd by night, Roy's player was the founder of the group and it is his house that they play in. His characters have always been regarded as beautiful works of roleplaying, and the sword-swinging hero of The Hunt For Xykon is no exception. Tends to favor characters who, like himself, place great value on law and goodness, and see themselves as protectors. In his mid-thirties.

:elan: The music director of the church which the entire group attends, Elan's player chose for this mega-epic to create a character who shares his love of music, art, and performance. Frequently roleplays out his bardic music with his ever-present guitar. In his late twenties.

:haley: Haley's player is married to Elan's, and it is a running gag that their characters end up romantically involved in every single campaign (except for that one time when they were both playing female characters). Picked a rogue because the party needed one, and because she likes heist films. In her late twenties.

:durkon: The chief pastor of their church, Durkon's player used to favor rather bland religious types, attributing his lack of flair to mental exhaustion from his pastoral duties. Recently driven from the pulpit for close on six months by a vicious bout of cancer, which he survived only very narrowly and with great prayer. The rest of the group speculates that this may be behind the dramatic changes his character has recently undergone. In his late forties

:vaarsuvius: Vaarsuvius's player is your stereotypical mid-twenties computer geek, running the sound and projector systems at the church and with a day job at a tech company. Tends to favor smart and socially awkward characters, due to being almost incapable of roleplaying anything else.

:belkar: The youngest and least gifted roleplayer of the group, Belkar's player was only recently added to the group, and spent much of the early portion of the campaign running a straightforward kill-and-burn character, with his teenager's obsession with sex sprinkled on. More recently, he has gradually begun to deepen his character, and is on the road to become a great roleplayer.

:miko: & :julia: These two characters, as well as a few others, are all played by a single guest star player: Roy's player's wife. Their actual relationship is quite good, but she seems to enjoy play-fighting with her husband. The others speculate that it's therapeutic.

jidasfire

2014-06-09, 11:28 AM

OOTS in the Shadows of the Apt universe, continued.

Celia is a Butterfly-kinden. Despite the fact that her own people have been enslaved and misplaced by the war, Celia remains a pacifist, and attempts to find a way to end the battle between Collegium and the Wasp Empire peacefully.

Miko is a noble of the Dragonfly Commonweal and a Weaponmaster. She is feared as zealous and merciless, accusing nearly all outsiders of being spies for the Wasps. She wields a pair of long-handled blades, and is never without her albino dragonfly steed.

The Monster in the Darkness is a ancient beast unknown in the modern world, possibly from before the time of the Great Insects. Whatever he is, his power is great, and Xykon and Redcloak have dark designs for him.

Tarquin is a Rekef Outlander general, tasked with sowing discord and chaos amongst the enemies of the Wasps. He is a student of war history and the Inapt people, and uses this towards his conquests. To this end, he has built an elite team of spies and artificers who help him to topple nations from the inside, including Mosquito sorceror Malack, who, most unusually, worships a god (almost unheard of in the SOTA universe), Consortium magnate Miron, who made his fortune in weapons of war, embittered Bee kinden artificer Laurin, and Firefly kinden adjutant Kilkil.

The IFCC are a ghostly Mantis, Moth, and Slug who have overcome the old rivalries in a desire to destroy the world of the Apt and restore the Days of Lore (or the Bad Old Days, depending who you ask).

The Demon Roaches are exactly the same.

ReaderAt2046

2014-06-16, 08:38 PM

OOTS as a division of the 17th Shard!

The party are an elite group of worldhoppers from every corner of the Cosmere. (If you're interested in finding out more, look up the works of Brandon Sanderson. The Cosmere is his idea, not mine).

:roy: is a Windrunner Radiant of the third level. He never got along well with his dad (a Lightweaver), instead bonding closely with his grandfather (who was also a Windrunner). He practices a slightly unusual combat technique, focusing much more on the strength and speed given by the Light than on the use of the Lashings. His spren, Greenhilt, defaults to the standard massive six-foot sword when in Blade form.

:elan: is both a Lightweaver Radiant and an Awakener. He is quite skilled with his Illumination powers, but never really got the hang of Soulcasting (the last time he tried, he turned the entire table into wine). He acquired upwards of five hundred Breaths in his first adventure on Nalthis, but later bestowed around half of them on Haley when they married. His spren, Banjo, rarely manifests in its geometric form, preferring to Invest a favored hand-puppet of Elan's. When in Blade form, Banjo tends to become a rapier.

:haley: was born a Tineye Misting, and rapidly rose through the ranks of the Luthadel underworld. She, along with Durkon and Belkar, were rescued from that life by Elan and Roy, and she later married Elan. She is an incredible shot with her bow, and the addition of Aonic ammunition from V and fabrial enhancements from Elan has only made matters more impressive.

:durkon: A Keeper of Terris, Durkon was one of the few Keepers who were not stewards, and consequently not eunuchs (a fact which helps explain his remarkable beard). He acted as Haley's moral center, source of knowledge. Carries a number of pewterminds, and makes great use of tapped strength in combat.

:belkar: Belkar was once a friend of Haley's, but after collecting not one but two Hemalurgic spikes, he has become a bloodthirsty psychopath. Residual feelings for Haley, and the knowledge that the rest of the team know exactly how to kill him keep him in line, but he gleefully takes every opportunity to kill and maim, and the combination of his natural Pewter Allomancy, a steel spike that grants more Pewter Allomancy, and an iron spike containing human strength makes him a terrifyingly efficient killing machine.

:vaarsuvius: is an Elantrian, and quite gifted with AonDor. V has refused to explain how V came to exist in V's current genderless state, other than to hint that it was connected somehow to a bad worldhop. For the first portion of the group's journey, V was perpetually frustrated by the weakness of the Aons outside of Elantris's zone of effect. This culminated in an episode where V briefly bonded with a stormspren, which augmented V's Aons even beyond Elantris's effects, but at the cost of driving V insane with hatred. V eventually managed to break free, but not before unleashing a cataclysm that wiped out a good chunk of Hallendren's dock district.