Latin Help

[Razanir]

So there's this really dramatic sounding song... The Dramatic Song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WteF0j5gYGk) (youtube link). The gist of it is that he's bad at writing words, so it's only really dramatic if you don't understand a word he's saying. I want to sing it for the dorm talent show, but in a foreign language. And what better language for sounding dramatic and awesome than Latin? :D

I think I can mostly manage it, seeing as I found a free Latin grammar online, but I'd still like people to help make sure it's correct. So far, I have:


Hīc est dramaticum
At c-u-m verbīs malus sum
Sī nōn intellegās
Hīc vidētur optimum
Cōgitās mē cantāre
De rēbus sevērīs
At in vēritātem
Cantō carmen de nihil
Hīc est magnum
Et adfectum
Sī nōn
Intellegitis

which I think means


This is dramatic
But I am bad with words
If you don't understand
This seems very good
You think I am singing
About serious things
But in truth
I am singing a song about nothing
This is intense
And emotional
If you (pl.)
Do not understand

which is close enough to the actual


This song sounds dramatic
But I'm bad at writing words
If you don't speak English
This probably sounds pretty good
You probably think I'm singing
'Bout some pretty serious stuff
But in reality
I'm singing 'bout the lack of stuff I'm singing 'bout
This part's intense
And emotional
As long as
You don't understand it

[Grinner]

What grammar guide are you using?

I haven't studied Latin for a long time now, but it looks alright. Two points of concern are the word "cantāre" in line five and the entirety of line eight.

Cantāre literally means "to sing", but I'm not sure how it interacts with the other words in that line. Again, it's been a while since I've bothered with Latin, and I was never very good at the language's more idiomatic aspects to begin with.

Line eight, "Cantō carmen de nihil", translates to "I sing song about nothing". The basic idea is there, but it's not quite what you meant.

In the end, it's probably not worth worrying about, since I know of only one person that speaks Latin fluently. :smallwink: You would do just as well if you sang it as is.

[Razanir]

Cantāre literally means "to sing", but I'm not sure how it interacts with the other words in that line. Again, it's been a while since I've bothered with Latin, and I was never very good at the language's more idiomatic aspects to begin with.

Line eight, "Cantō carmen de nihil", translates to "I sing song about nothing". The basic idea is there, but it's not quite what you meant.

The guide I used (I think) was saying to use the infinitive there. And I know about line 8. Latin doesn't use articles. Hence it can mean either "I sing a song," "I sing the song" or the nonsensical "I sing song" depending on the context

[Kneenibble]

Line 5 is fine, it's an accusative-infinitive subordinate clause.

Line 8 is fine as Razanir said.


Near all of it is passable -- not very polished Latin style, but it works.

Just two problems:
In line 2: malus doesn't mean bad like unskilled, it means bad like pernicious or nasty. I'd go with rudis.
In the final line: you should keep the number of the verb declension consistent, make it singular or all the others plural.

[Grinner]

And I know about line 8. Latin doesn't use articles. Hence it can mean either "I sing a song," "I sing the song" or the nonsensical "I sing song" depending on the context

Actually, I was referring to the verb. It's in the simple present tense when it should be a participle of some kind.

[Kneenibble]

Actually, I was referring to the verb. It's in the simple present tense when it should be a participle of some kind.

The aspect of Latin present tense is quite flexible between simple-progressive, so again, it's fine.

[Razanir]

Near all of it is passable -- not very polished Latin style, but it works.

Just two problems:
In line 2: malus doesn't mean bad like unskilled, it means bad like pernicious or nasty. I'd go with rudis.
In the final line: you should keep the number of the verb declension consistent, make it singular or all the others plural.

1) Not trying for polished. I'm going for grammatically correct, then shifting word order around to fit the tune better.
2) Thanks. Will change malus -> rudis
3) Throughout the song, I tried to keep it singular. I only used plural whenever I needed an extra syllable to make it fit the tune better.
4) You seem to know Latin. For if-then, is it Subjunctive-Indicative, Indicative-Indicative, or does it not actually matter?


The aspect of Latin present tense is quite flexible between simple-progressive, so again, it's fine.

Yeah, I come from German, so I'm familiar with simple present and progressive present being the same conjugation. It's also how I already know somewhat how to use all cases except that irritating ablative case.

[Kneenibble]

1) Not trying for polished. I'm going for grammatically correct, then shifting word order around to fit the tune better.
2) Thanks. Will change malus -> rudis
3) Throughout the song, I tried to keep it singular. I only used plural whenever I needed an extra syllable to make it fit the tune better.
4) You seem to know Latin. For if-then, is it Subjunctive-Indicative, Indicative-Indicative, or does it not actually matter?

Yeah, I come from German, so I'm familiar with simple present and progressive present being the same conjugation. It's also how I already know somewhat how to use all cases except that irritating ablative case.

On the verbs -- I'd really push you to keep the number consistent, however you have to do it. That's a matter of correctness, not style.

On if-then -- there's six standard Latin conditions, but just to keep it simple I'd do a simple fact present with indicative-indicative. In which case, forgive my not noticing, you should put intellegis instead of intellegas in line 3.

One more thing I missed, lines 1, 4, and 9 should probably have neuter hoc instead of masculine hic: to agree with carmen.

[Razanir]

Okay. My last two questions, then, because everything else is fairly self-explanatory.

1) What's the syntax for dēbeō (must)?
2) I know -que is a valid substitute for et if it's a two closely related objects. Like from later in the song, I translated "sol lunaque occidit." What if it's two verbs with the same subject? Is that valid, or is there some other construction?

[Kneenibble]

Debeo takes the infinitive. Carmen cantare debeo: I must sing the song!

-Que can be used with verbs as you say, as far as I know.

I'm pretty sure that two subjects joined by -que still constitute a plural subject, though, so it should be occiderunt.

[Razanir]

Debeo takes the infinitive. Carmen cantare debeo: I must sing the song!

-Que can be used with verbs as you say, as far as I know.

I'm pretty sure that two subjects joined by -que still constitute a plural subject, though, so it should be occiderunt.

My bad on that last part. It's translated correctly in the song, at least