NPC Rights Group HQ

[Hoseki]

A large, plain wodden building has sprung up, built by voulenteer NPCs only. A sign on the door says


No PCs!
Please?

Inside, there is a small boxy room occupied by a big desk and a bulletin board. The board has many messages thumb-tacked to it, including:


The Non-Player-Character Rights Group
TNPCRG
President: Jason A. Brown
Vice-President: Harry P. Green
Treasurer: Lily Y. Smith
Secretary: Robert L. Johnson

Have you ever felt oppressed by the PCs who dominate the Town? Have you lost family or friends to the PC gods or just ridiculously high-leved PCs? If so, then TNPCRG can help!

We at TNPCRG work to help the commonpeople of Town. We have fought to make killing and assaulting of NPCs a criminal offence that actually gets punished. Members of TNPCRG recieve names upon joining, instead of demeaning numbers. (Names include a first name, last name, and middle initial.) We hold meetings just sort of whenever, and all are welcome, be they shopworker, night shift priest, or random thug!

Behind the desk is either Phil O. Williams or his wife Mary H. Williams, depending on the time. They will glady give out informative pamphlets and suchlike.

During meetings, the large meeting room is crammed with every sort of person- warforged, therianthropes of every kind imaginable, humans, elves, half-orcs, birds, shadows, dragons, gnomes, moles, wolves, gnolls, goblins, hobgoblins, bugbears, dopplegangers, giants, demons, devils, centaurs, treants, unicorns, yuan-ti, rakshasa, owlbears, ogres, and gelatinous cubes, just to name a few. Sometimes they plan demonstrations at places like Trog's.

[Xerillum]

A random npc wanders in.

[Hoseki]

Mary H. Williams looks up. "Hi! Welcome to TNPCRG HQ. How can I help you?"

[Xerillum]

"ummm, I was looking for the NPC civil rights group. I'd like to join."

[Hoseki]

Mary H. Williams beams. "That's us! Just fill out this form and I'll give you your membership card. Did you have a name you were hoping for?"

[Lykan]

((You have NO idea how much I want to light this place on fire. :biggrin:))

[Kyrian]

((I second it wolfman...))

[Hoseki]

((See?! This is exactly the kind of disrespect the NPCs are fighting! :smallwink:))

[Lykan]

((See?! This is exactly the kind of disrespect the NPCs are fighting! :smallwink:))

((The irony, the irony...))

[Rumda]

((I just hope you send the mini-tarrsque through here...))

[Hoseki]

((Why would I do that?!))

[Lykan]

((Why would I do that?!))
((Becasue the tarasque is a killing machine... And it'd be funny. :smallamused: ))

[Hoseki]

((But it's cruel! And sadistic! The NPCs would press charges!))

[InaVegt]

((You have NO idea how much I want to light this place on fire. :biggrin:))

((Thirded))

[Kalbereth]

(HEY! No random slaughter of the helpless civilians!)

[Sneak]

Sneak walks in and sidles up to the front desk. "Hey, I'm looking for the BS Union. Is this it?"

[InaVegt]

Sneak walks in and sidles up to the front desk. "Hey, I'm looking for the BS Union. Is this it?"

((So funny))

[Hoseki]

Mary H. Williams scowls. "I'm afraid not, sir."

[Exachix]

((Napalm on Standby Sir.))

[Sneak]

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, I must've been mistaken. Good day." He bows deeply and walks back out.

[Hoseki]

Mary H. Williams mutters something about sarcastic PC cat god things and begins reading a trashy romance novel. By an NPC author, of course.

[Kalbereth]

(You can't tell me you were expecting Sneak of all people to not respond to this...:smalltongue: )

[InaVegt]

A small skinny dwarf walks in, he looks at the NPC behind the counter.

Me this place new. You who are?

[Kyrian]

((*Waves "Bring back Fenhai" sign*))

[Flabbicus]

The grammar patrol comes in and smacks the dwarf.

Use proper pronouns!

The fly away.

[Hoseki]

Mary H. Williams looks up. "I'm Mary H. Williams! This is TNPCRG HQ, or The Non-Player-Character Rights Group Head Quarters. How may I help you?"

[InaVegt]

Me look food for. Me hungry be.

[Sneak]

Sneak runs in the bar, hopping up and down, obviously very excited. "Ohmygod! It's Yoda! I heard him from out—" He looks at the dwarf and visibly deflates. "What? You're not Yoda. IMPOSTOR!"

[Kalbereth]

(Good lord, stop doing that...my spleen is going to explode one of these days...)

[InaVegt]

Sneak runs in the bar, hopping up and down, obviously very excited. "Ohmygod! It's Yoda! I heard him from out—" He looks at the dwarf and visibly deflates. "What? You're not Yoda. IMPOSTOR!"

((Stop being so funny, everyone was looking at me because I was laughing so hard))

[Hoseki]

Mary H. Williams bits her lip. "Oh! I'm sorry, all I have is a tuna salad sandwich." She looks up at Sneak. "Hello again, sir."

[InaVegt]

Me like tuna not. Me know tavern wants.

[Sneak]

(( *hangs head* I'm sorry.

...

Can you get my head down from that noose now? ))

[Hoseki]

"Oh! Well, we do give money to needy. Here; this ought to pay for lunch at Trog's if you tell Nina I sent you." She offers a few silver and copper pieces to the dwarf.

[Flabbicus]

Smack, smack, smack, and another for good measure.

You're doing it wrong!

They fly away again.

[Blood]

An ogre walks in and walks up to the front desk. He looks very beat up, with bruises and cuts all over. Some blood is oozing onto the floor. Those stupid adventurers always try to kill us. They said something about a random encounter. The ogres all died, but I ran away. He promptly turns into a pig, and snorts wildly. Then he turns into a human and says, Oh, and I'm a doppleganger, and apparently my shapechanging power is broken now too!

[Hoseki]

"You poor thing! Do you want healing? I think Hayate from the Temple of Inari is helping Lily with the finances in the back room..."

[Blood]

That would be- he turns into a hawk, then an elf, -fine.

He tries his best to walk to the recommended doorway, turning into something every three or four steps.

[Sneak]

Sneak catches up to the doppelganger quickly. "Hey, kid, interested in some work? I know a guy who runs a freak show. You might fit in there."

[Hoseki]

"No, please let me..." Mary H. Williams pokes her head through the door. "Hayte! A visitor needs healing!" A shadow kitsune glides out of the room, adjusing his kimono with embarassment. He casts Heal on the doppleganger.

[Blood]

Hey a- *pause* job offer already! Maybe I won't be an NPC anymore! I am not a random encounter! *pause* He turns back to the door, and continues his slow pace. Just let me get healed first...

He faces Sneak. Where is this freak show?

[Sneak]

"Right outside here, actually. It's called The Town. No, I don't know why they call it that."

[AmberVael]

((Did someone say 'freakshow'?))
http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h107/sjunderw/grothok.png
Grothok comes in the door, and his bizarre heritage shines clear. Or rather, unclear, since you can't quite tell what he is. Reddish scales cover him in patches, and tough, leathery purple skin covers the rest. He has strange crests on his head, and disgusting, largely membranous wings stretch from his back, along with two rubbery tentacles. His eyes are red, and his fangs show as he bares a snarl.
Grothok not want to be NPC!

[Blood]

The doppleganger, now a dog, growls at Sneak and turns to the lady at the desk. He transforms into a bunch of things before something that can talk comes up. Can you fix my transforming problem??

[Hoseki]

Mary H. Williams smiles nervously at Grothok. "It's not all the bad to be an NPC... besides the alternative is to be a PC, and they're all jerks..."

"I'm sorry, hon... I don't know how... Hayate?" "No idea, Mary. Sorry, sir..."

[AmberVael]

Grothok's ears waggle as he thinks this over.
That make sense to Grothok.

[Blood]

The "vulture" flies around the ceiling in circles, squawking madly in anger at his transforming problem. He turns into a rat and squeaks as he falls a long way, but ends up unhurt by luckily turning into a cat before hitting the ground.

[Hoseki]

Mary H. Williams nods encouragingly. "At TNPCRG, we help people become more confident about their NPChood. Do you need any help with that?"

[AmberVael]

Grothok need job.

[Hoseki]

"Well, NPCs are in high demand as workers. I can't think of any places hiring off the top of my head, though. Maybe you would consider a bouncer job at one of the taverns?"

[AmberVael]

No. Police not like Grothok hitting people. Grothok not mean to...
Grothok tugs on one of his tentacles in an awkward fashion.

[Blood]

Now a dwarf, the doppleganger leaves, grumbling.

[Hoseki]

"Oh, I'm so sorry... what other skills do you have? I'm sure we'll come up with something."

[AmberVael]

Grothok thinks obviously and shakes his head.
Grothok not know much.

[Hoseki]

"Acolyte? Are you a religious type?"

[AmberVael]

Grothok shakes his head.
Grothok not like temply people. They stuffy.

[Hoseki]

Mary H. Williams scratches her head. "Cook?"

[DarkHunter]

The town librarian stomps in, still dressed in his mismatched equipment.

I'm tired of being "The Town Librarian"! I deserve a name!

[Hoseki]

"That's the spirit! Let's see what male names are free... Do you have a preference, or should I just yoink an available one?"

[AmberVael]

Grothok growls.
Dumb orcs not give Grothok chance to learn.

[InaVegt]

The strange dwarf awakens from his water induced sleep and goes to trog's

[Hoseki]

"Oh, that'll be fine! Mark R. Hance has chef training. He'll teach you the culinary arts, if you're interested!"

[DarkHunter]

The librarian frowns

Well... I am an elf...

[AmberVael]

Grothok waggles his ears.
Grothok try that.

[Hoseki]

"Hmm... How about Ivellios Q. Holimion?"

"Sounds great, Grothok. Hayate, would you please get Mark?" "Sure." Hayate drifts off.

[DarkHunter]

The newly-christened Ivellios smiles

Thanks! That lazy player never bothered to name me.

He strides out of the building

[AmberVael]

Grothok hums a rather creepy and choppy tune that sounds like breaking people's bones.

[Hoseki]

"Have a nice day, Ivellios!

"While you're waiting, would you like to become a member of TNPCRG, Grothok?"

[AmberVael]

Grothok's eyes narrow in thought.
What that mean?

[InaVegt]

((I have a nice name you could give to one of them: Neopidus Perdenal Catmandu))

[Hoseki]

"Well, you could attend our occationally-held meetings and protests. We do collect some dues from members, but it's not really that much. Membership gives you discounts at all shops run by other members- for instance, if Hayate healed you at the Temple of Inari, you'd get a discount. Same with Trog's- all the NPC staff are members."

[AmberVael]

What happen at meetings?
Grothok idly crackes his knuckles.

[InaVegt]

((Not the NPC wait staff of the magical warehouse, they get fired if they become members of this terrorist group))

[Flabbicus]

The Times are Tough NPC enters.

(( Hoseki gets full control of him now. :amused: ))

[Hoseki]

((Since when is this a terrorist group?))

"Let's see... we sing 'We Shall Overcome'... Talk about what we're going to do to promote NPC equality... Eat food...

"Stat! Marcey's in the back room. Good luck!"

*Sigh* Times are tough." Stat goes into the back room.

((I have to go for a short while.))

[AmberVael]

Grothok goes to the back room to learn how to cook. Disaster and hilarity ensues.

[Xerillum]

A bunch of sneak's sweatshop workers charge the doors.

[Hoseki]

"What? What is it?" Mary H. Williams asks, jerking awake.

[Xerillum]

A few are tasered, and 150 get in.

[Hoseki]

((Who's tasering the sweatshop workers?))

"What's going on?! How do you all even fit here?!"

[Sneak]

Sneak sweatshop workers look around, wondering why they exist, seeing as no one besides Sneak and some elves (voluntarily) ever worked in Sneak's sweatshop.

[Renrik]

The Goblin Labor Party sends two nameless goblin NPCs to serve as envoys and as a show of support to the NPC Rights Group.

((We support civil liberties for all. Plus, a lot of the goblins (most of them) are NPCs anyway.))

[The Orange Zergling]

(HEY! No random slaughter of the helpless civilians!)


((If only someone had told me that BEFORE I thought up The Shadow's concept... :smalltongue:))

((Poor random NPCs 35215-35373... I knew him them well.))

(("Pfft, I'd be turning in my grave right now if I had a grave... mutter mutter..."))

[TheHawk]

((Poor random NPCs 35215-35373... I knew him them well.))


((So thats where #352307 went. He owed me money. Ah, well, a PC's life goes on.))

[cosmo]

I find it insulting that you'd make some random mook your President instead of choosing the man who's easily the most famous NPC in Town.

No more free drinks for you losers!

[CabbageTheif]

two faces that havent been seen in a long time walk through the door. thats right, its the elf twins Iris and Siri!!!

i think this is the place. um...... excuse me? excuse me?

hey, me and my sister here want to join! where do we sign up?

[Hoseki]

((Hey, this organization is for the random mooks, created by the random mooks, and will thus be run by the random mooks!

And CT, these people are NPCs. NPC them! Mary'll sign Iris and Siri up, though.))

[Death, your friend the Reaper]

*Death runs down the list of names of those who are due to die soon. Amazingly it is awfully like the NPC role call list. Coincidences truly are amazing aren't they?*

[Atreyu the Masked LLama]

*King and Ala come walking in.*
We haven't seen Muffy in days and Auntielarra and Uncle Jaspero went sailing. We came to see what NPC's are suppsed to do.
Yeah. Atreyu won't even let us be a part of any dangerous plots. Its fine when someone is around to RP us, but right now, we just hang out in our rooms.
*The guy who works night shift stares and thinks* Well, the problem is that you aren't proper NPC's. You have names and backstories and developed personalities. The real bad thing is you aren't really up for community control. I mean, you are, since Masked LLama doesn't really mind someone NPCing you, as long as they don't do anything out of line or put you two in danger, but even then, those are heavy guideline restrictions for NPC's. You're more like community apprentice PC's. We just aren't prepared to deal with that here. So, I'm gonna give you two some candy and hope that satisfies you enough to leave.

*he hands some candy to the kids who thank him and disappear out the door.*

[Thri-Kreen_DK]

A gnome enters.
He is wearing exotic gnomon clothes and pulling a cart behind him.

He drops it to the ground.

"I am so sick and tired of being forced to be the generic gnomish shopkeeper that dissapears moments later!" He rants, "Every PC in the Universe see's me at some stage! Do you know what that means? That averages to be 200 PC's a day I have to find and serve!
That aswell as create all of the items to sell.
I'm sick and tired of the lot of them!"

[Supagoof]

Godric, Krysta, Ravina, and Feorwyn of the Gufipolice fly into the room.

We want to sign up! Ravina says.

That's right, we're sick of PCs telling us what to do. Krysta follows.

Yeah, did you know they won't even let us show our love in public, let alone get married. Godric exclaims.

It's hide here, or come out of the backroom here, giggling. What it should read is that Godric and I are making out right in the center of the station.

And they expect us to keep full tabs on all the cases that come into the station, whether or not the cops who work there start and investigation. Feorwyn adds.

Get the donuts, get the coffee, fill the forms, install a new door, take stuff from the armory, lock that prisoner up, watch through that scrying glass.....

We don't even get badges, and yet we do more to uphold the law in this town then most of the force.

((Badges, we don't need no stinkin badges))

We....Feorwyn start sobbing...we don't even have backstories yet!

Let alone last names!

Forget the last names, I just want someone to spell my name right. It's always Christa, or Krista, or Chrysta, or Crystal, but it's spelt K-R-Y-S-T-A! Look at the first thread of the first police station. It got changed with the new ownership.

You put us on that list, or else well start arresting everyone here for not following the laws regarding public gatherings!

Can we do that? Snnnf. Her sobbing begins to clear up.

Sure, there's gotta be a form somewhere....Nevermind, add us to that list.

I ain't gonna take anymore orders until we get some headway.

We want fair wages.

Yeah, at least Cosmo even gets some tips once in awhile.

We want a single person to operate us.

Yeah, we want - Wait, won't that make us PCs?

Oh yeah, nevermind that then, we want some respect!

The fairies continue to go on with their demands and injustices of the jobs.

((And are now available for whomever.....love the absolute silliness of this thread.))

[Renrik]

The two goblin NPCs play in the corner with Mark and Ivelios, hustling them at Three Dragon's Ante.

[Thri-Kreen_DK]

The gnome goes over to the fairies.
"You wouldn't believe how many times I've been manhandled by those filthy 'PC's.'
I'm sick of it too.
I get KILLED by them aswell! You know how much XP I have to keep re-earning?! No you don't!" The gnome is building up into total rage over the PC's injustices.

[Graklok]

NPC #56781s9-1 comes into the center.

Fellow NPCs, the time is upon us. One of those PC's attacked and killed my brother. The trial is underway. You watch, he'll get off! This is injustice at it's best. Wouldn't you agree?

Some NPCs nod their heads in agreement.

We need to rise up to arms. We need to organize against this travesty. If they let the ogre go, we need to re-act, swiftly and with distinction. We're not going to take it!

Whose with me?

The rest of the NPC gathering send shouts of approval for NPC #56781s9-1 plea. The whole group is upset.

[CabbageTheif]

Iris and Siri have found a nice nitch in the group: the two of them serve drinks. the place has obtained a sort of concesion stand, run by thew two. they feel that any organization needs refreshments!

during all of the cheering, they get other npc's drinks and whatnot.

[Lord Iames Osari]

Iames enters, leading a group of NPCs in. These NPCs were murdered earlier today by Wukei, and I thought it would be a good idea to bring them here. He disappears.

[Hoseki]

Phil O. Williams and Mary H. Williams help all of the new NPCs get names, jobs, and counseling, if applicable.

[Renrik]

One of the goblins leaves the three dragon ante game and walks outside, then goes off to the slums. The other goblin joins in the shouts to topple the PCs who harm NPCs, and adds some Goblin Labor Party rhetoric to the mix.

[Lord Iames Osari]

((It's inside a building))

[Lord Iames Osari]

Iames fires three shots at the fleeing robot, continuing to pursue.

[Renrik]

The goblin ducks for cover as the shots are fired.

[Madmal]

Three individuals enter the building, looking around and examining the place.

The first one is clearly a lizardman, although he stands among the others due to his bulky built, he's carrying a spiked club on his right hand, and a blade is strapped to his tail.

The smaller one (a red-skinned kobold) bounces around the main room, taking measurements on the walls and the floor. She wears a flamboyant orange robe, and small glasses on her nuzzle.

The third one stays on one place, reading the bulletin board, at first, it resembles an elf, but the green skin and the long whip-like tail cancels this assumption. he's wearing some simple clothes, and covering her mouth and nose under a Handkerchief.

the muscled lizardmen decides to leave any talking to the other two, he lays back on a wall, and starts fidgeting with the spikes on his club.

[Hoseki]

Mary H. Williams looks up. "Ah, can I help you?" she asks the group in general.

[Madmal]

The elf-like creature moves his head towards the voice. After noticing the human, he moves gently towards her

"Errrr...yes, i believe so, miss...but first...can you tells us a little bit more about this place?"

[Hoseki]

Mary H. Williams beams. "Certainly! This is the headquarters of the NPC Rights Group! We work to give NPCs dignity, respect, and rights."

[Madmal]

"sooo...would you consider this place under the classification of...."important?"

[Hoseki]

"Oh, I would!" May H. Williams says happily.

[Madmal]

"Hmmm..interesting that...now, would you be interest-"

"Oh, For Drigiel!!! quit all that yippy-yappig all round , Sevathos, and get to the point!!!" The kobold spots

"Korath bored. Korath want some action!" says the lizardman, as he wields his club

the elf-like creature slaps his forehead
"you two know no subtlety, right?"

[Hoseki]

"Um... yes? Interested in what?" May H. Williams asks cautiously.

[Madmal]

"You see..."says the elf-like creature "my comrade here wishes to temporally adquire a part of this stablishment too-"

temporally? adquire? what are you talking about? i need this place demolished, and i want it now! it obstructs my view to the dragonne constelation!!

The elf-creature quickly turns around
"demolish? that outside our capacities!"- he narrows his eyes- "this was not stated on the contract..."

I give a damm! Miss Trelissa aproved my request, and it will be carried on! Korath! Start!! NOW!!

Bossy short-lady's the boss here.... The lizardmen says, as he picks his club, and starts to try aiming it against one of the walls

[Hoseki]

Mary H. Williams jumps up. "What in Pelor's name are you doing?!" she cries. "Stop that at once!" She hits a concealed red button and walls of force spring up, completely protecting the walls of TNPCRGHQ

[Madmal]

a Pelor worshipper? interesting... but this defenses won't last against-

"You! Stop!- the elf-creature firmly yells- we do not exercise any control on this town outside our respective quarters on the Underhill fortress. We can't do that..."

but miss Trelissa...

"You fail to remember that Miss Trelissa isn't the one in charge of the organization. all the responsabily of our actions fall upon Mr. Malmagor, and i'm pretty sure he would be against this capricious attitude...Korath! stop trying to harm the building and put miss Silak under custody..."

But, miss bossy short-lady said...

"Miss Silak may be an astronomer under the cares of Guildleader Trelissa, but i'm a beguiler from the verdant circle, therefore, my authorithy is independant, and i'm not as restricted as her...Besides, what do you believe Troopmaster Rennard will think about you when he hears about this?"

the elf-like creature smiles, as the lizardmen pales, and grabs the kobold

you..TRAITOR! you'll pay for this, miserable saurian!!

"Take her back...i have an apology to do...and be good...or i'll comunicate your tendency to obey the mages above the rest of the House Council"

The saurian smiles, as the lizardmen carries the kobold back to the fortress

[Hoseki]

Mary H. Williams looks utterly baffled. "What?" she asks faintly.

[Madmal]

The saurian turns to Mary H. Williams, a little troubled about her expression

"What what, miss?"

[Hoseki]

"Why did they... attack the headquarters?"

[Madmal]

"attack? hehe...this hasn't been an attack, miss (at least, not the ones i'm used to define) just a capricious arcane student, her dim-witted and easily intimidated Lycanthropic guard, and a misinformed information agent...sheshh..."

[Hoseki]

"The lizardman tried to bash down our walls for no discernable reason! That's certainly what I'd call an attack!"

[Madmal]

"So "it gets in the way between my boss' favourite constellation and her room" it's not a discernible reason?, you sure are an unusual lady, miss..."

"but in any case, i apologize for all the trouble i have caused by bringing this pair, i'll look into the matter, and accept the responsabilities in front of the Verdant Council, if you excuse me..." the saurian bows politely, and exits the building, while whistling a merry tune.

((RL calls. gotta go. thanks for participating on the sillyness))

[Hoseki]

((That's fine. :smallsmile:))

"But.. didn't say... constellation? What? I need a drink..." She drifts off to the back room and lets her husband take over.

[Daedrous Avari]

This thread is beginning to cause a paradox...

Player controlled NPC's?

[Hoseki]

((Anyone can control them, not just me. That's what makes them NPCs.))

[Lord Iames Osari]

Aerin lands in front of the building and enters. Hello, she says to whoever is on the desk. I'd like to report an NPC rights violation. At Trog's this evening, a creature calling itself Gatamu killed and ate an NPC without provocation in front of numerous witnesses.
http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=32186&page=28#825
I attempted to apprehend the creature, but to no avail. I will be consulting with outside experts on the matter, and you can rest assured that the police will not let this matter lie. However, I recommend that you take independent legal action as well.

Aerin leaves.