View Full Version : TPAY/TPBY Reverse Questioning

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2014-01-25, 03:11 PM
Ooooooo, can you say that again?

It wasn't me, officer!

2014-01-26, 11:40 AM
Did you see anything of the mass homicide next door?

WAIT! I'll go get my Expo markers!

2014-01-26, 08:06 PM
You actually expect me to believe there is a form of writing more permanent than words carved into solid rock? :smallconfused:

But it was just a bachelorette party, honest!

2014-01-26, 09:57 PM
So I suppose you had nothing to do with the noise violations, calls to the police for disorderly conduct, and fifteen city blocks burned to the ground?

Trust me. You REALLY don't want to know.

Targ Collective
2014-01-27, 01:18 AM
Is this what it really looks like????


2014-01-27, 11:34 AM
Could you please put that transmission on speakerphone so we can all hear the alien leader's demands?

Four aces and a dancing bear.

2014-01-27, 11:41 AM
Who will starring in the next Top Gun movie?

I simply will not eat that.

2014-01-27, 02:17 PM
So, is it true you're a humanitarian?

I-it's not like I LIKE you or anything! Baka!!

2014-01-27, 02:29 PM
Is there a reason you tried to club me to death with a baseball bat yesterday?

Sorry, but we only accept euros, GP, and/or Nutella.

Zar Peter
2014-01-27, 02:44 PM
So, I'd really like to buy this carpet. I have VISA and MasterCard. And here are some Cowries. How much?

And now I REALLY want you to turn on the light!

2014-01-27, 03:24 PM
Did you hear that floorboard creek?

I'd suggest looking behind you.

2014-01-27, 04:49 PM
I'm telling you, it is scientifically impossible for a Tarrasque to sneak up on someone!
Wait, is it just me or can you smell something strange, like something is... breathing on you?

Laurin's heavily-debated favour.

2014-01-27, 04:51 PM
What is the opposite of Victoria's Secret?

Because they have ANOTHER day of cancelled school due to COLD. :smallmad:

Zar Peter
2014-01-27, 05:49 PM
Why are the kids replaying Harry Potter Part VI in our sleeping room?

Because they don't know better.

2014-01-28, 09:38 AM
Why are the kids happy about missing a vital day of their education?

Nope, I ordered a hot chocolate.

2014-01-28, 10:24 AM
So this vat of acid and dragon tears isn't yours?


2014-01-28, 12:13 PM
OK, how should we start off the marathon?

...and that's why starring Justin Beiber in a remake of Star Wars would make the best film EVER.

2014-01-28, 01:32 PM
Listen. People like to stab themselves with forks, am I right?

People people people. I'm sure there is enough asparagus for you to kill the zombies with. I counted!

2014-01-28, 04:33 PM
Are you sure this is going to help us all ascend to lichdom?

Either 3+2i, 3-2i, or the asteroid belt.

2014-01-28, 06:09 PM
How much can you give me for my old baseball card collection?

OK, my advice: don't let go of that button. Just wait here, and I'll go get a crane and a big freaking hammer.

2014-01-29, 10:42 AM
Was it a bad idea to press the large red button labeled "never press this button?"

It's not a bug, it's a feature!

Targ Collective
2014-01-29, 07:56 PM
Your computer is attacking me! Make it stop!

Heehee, that tickles.

2014-01-30, 09:44 AM
Would you mind if I stab you with this spoon?

But it was just sitting there!

2014-01-30, 05:17 PM
WHY OH WHY, Why in heavens name did you emty your whole mag. Into the puppy Corporal Rose

A cardinal sin, two midgets and a magic sword, not to forget the disease

2014-01-30, 05:25 PM
What did those overly-complex 1E bard class entry rules involve, again?

The entire Homestuck fandom.

2014-01-30, 10:02 PM
Who are all those people chasing you with torches and pitchforks?

Just before I left the coffee shop.

2014-01-30, 10:05 PM
Wait, when did you set the bonfire?

Not since the porcupine ate it.

2014-01-30, 10:08 PM
Have you seen the brillo pad?

Well, it starts out with a relaxation massage, followed by a hot stone treatment, and then finishes up with a skin peel.

2014-01-31, 12:20 AM
How did the secret police carry out the interrogation?

Forty hours in a hot air balloon, but that was nothing compared to the last time.

2014-01-31, 07:52 AM
How long did you spend dropping Rust Monsters on low-level fighters?

EDIT: Forgot my answer.

Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM, MUSHROOM!

2014-01-31, 10:39 AM
Did you remember to take your medication this morning?

A piece of yellow chalk should do the trick.

2014-01-31, 11:40 AM
Professor, this tumor is outside of my purview. How would you recommend treating the symptoms?

OK, OK, I'll do it. Just put that thing away before you hurt someone.

2014-01-31, 03:06 PM
Can you sharpen this? *swings diamond sword around like a maniac*

Jello! JELLO! JELLO!!!

2014-01-31, 04:03 PM
*Picks up phone* Yellow?

The purple-eyed, stick-thin yet with huge boobs, dating Jozan and Regdar, half-dragon half-fiend elf archmage who is oh, so conflicted and troubled about her heritage except when it's inconvenient.

2014-01-31, 10:01 PM
Quick! I need a Mary Sue for my D&D parody!

A dash of salt will do.

2014-02-01, 07:52 AM
How do you season your Slug Soup?

Fresh air and a big knife.

2014-02-01, 11:00 AM
What causes people to become psychopaths?

Duct tape. CORRECTION: PINK duct tape.

2014-02-01, 12:09 PM
What did I need to bring to the this week's Brownies meeting?

That one d20 which hates the player rolling it.

2014-02-01, 03:37 PM
How did you manage to lose a fight to a single angry squirrel?

Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

2014-02-02, 03:34 AM
So who is the fathers of all your half dragon kids

At 24 o'clock on that special night

2014-02-02, 07:15 AM
What's another way to say "12:00 PM on that special night"?

Sorry, but it's halfway across the solar system by now.

2014-02-02, 08:57 AM
So you're saying you can't get my toaster back?

Just put it anywhere.

2014-02-02, 09:18 AM
Where do you want me to hide the evidence?

He's a severe liability. Kill him.

2014-02-02, 09:27 AM
What should I do when Santa comes this year?

A pencil case containing no pencils, but several angry fire ants.

2014-02-02, 01:46 PM
Wait, you brought what to art class?!

Because friendship is magic, duh!

2014-02-02, 01:50 PM
How did you just turn your best friend invisible?

A George Washington bobble-head.

2014-02-02, 11:33 PM
What do you want for Valentine's Day?

Only the three on the left.

2014-02-03, 03:50 AM
*deep bow* May I kiss your hand?

All of the sleepiness.

2014-02-03, 12:37 PM
How much sleepiness would I need to rule the world?

Go back to the part where you kicked a falling meteor back into space...No no, the time before you suplexed the narwhal.

2014-02-03, 08:34 PM
Have you seen my contact lens?

You don't honestly expect me to give you that particular piece of information, do you? :smallconfused:

2014-02-04, 08:54 AM
What's your shoe size?

That sounds unpleasant.

2014-02-04, 10:54 AM
Would you like a lava bath?

It's a gazebo.

Zar Peter
2014-02-04, 12:22 PM
So, after I shot this poisoned adamantine arrow at it, what does it do?

Take one Aspirin and go to sleep.

2014-02-04, 01:16 PM
How do I heal wounds inflicted by flying sourcebooks?

The dracolich.

2014-02-04, 03:01 PM
OK, who ate my leftover pizza again?!

Umm...OK, but I don't think it'll do much.

2014-02-04, 07:09 PM
Lets use the summon LG epic arch angel of revenge scroll we found to stop the four 2nd level cultists who are trying to summon a imp.

A scrubery offcourse

2014-02-04, 07:15 PM
What is the best use of a shrubbery when you have an itchy back ?

Ten point nine nine nine nine ..... !

Passive Pete
2014-02-04, 09:34 PM
On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is the smell?

You see, the bears are the ones that steal the grapes, THEN you come in with the rubber chicken.

2014-02-05, 09:15 AM
How will we steal the fruit from the farm if I'm allergic to grapes and it's guarded by dire chickens?

Actually, the cake is the truth.

2014-02-05, 10:35 AM
What counteracts the pie?

A nail file, a cup of coffee, two computers, a smart phone, and a tablet.

2014-02-05, 11:08 AM
What's in your trunk?

367, actually, but only once.

2014-02-05, 07:12 PM
Wait a minute, I have to stab this guy once per day every single day for 365 stabs in the year?

Screw that! I'm goin' in!

Meth In a Mine
2014-02-05, 11:10 PM
Hey why are your clothes off?

That there is Michael Bay's Portable Movie Maker.

2014-02-06, 10:08 PM
What the-? What is this cardboard box doing over my toilet?

Only in Russia.

2014-02-07, 12:41 PM
Is that knish eating you?

It's the only way I can get a gold medal.

2014-02-07, 01:02 PM
Did you have to kneecap her?

But I like to have fries with that.

2014-02-07, 02:42 PM
(( It keeps eating my replies D: ))

You can't dunk your fries in glue!

The long and winding road.

2014-02-08, 12:19 AM
So which way gets me to your place again?

With a large Mountain Dew.

Scarlet Knight
2014-02-08, 06:19 PM
"Say, Pappy, how do you make friends with a McCoy?"

The last mango in Paris.

2014-02-08, 11:21 PM
What was the primary cause of the Great Mime Rampage of 2011?

God, you're such a whiner.

2014-02-09, 04:36 AM
Does anyone have a needle and thread? I think my leg just got blown off.

Pokémon diamond and pearl

2014-02-09, 04:52 AM
What are the devil's worst fears?

I didnt think Id like it this much.

2014-02-09, 09:39 PM
How was the no-anesthesia surgery?

I did that in high school.

2014-02-10, 09:41 AM
When did you destroy SkyNet?

That's The Wiggles.

2014-02-10, 09:54 AM

It was only 9 cups.

2014-02-10, 09:59 AM
Is it true you went back in time and introduced Smallpox to the human population?!

A gerblet. Like a hamlet, but without the hamsters.

Passive Pete
2014-02-10, 01:29 PM
Where did Fluffy say he was gonna raise his family?

673, without all of the steak-fat.

2014-02-10, 03:50 PM
I'm sorry sir, how much beef did you want on that pizza?

Oh, it was just a quick little mix of NyQuil and lemon juice.

2014-02-10, 04:01 PM
I asked for something to help me sleep with her... What did you give me?

Sure, Here's my calculator.

2014-02-10, 05:17 PM
Quick give me the murder weapon so I can hide it before the cops arrive.

No you get Pentagon.

2014-02-10, 08:09 PM
Can I have Kremlin for Christmas?

Purple, with a slight tinge of green, followed by a lovely :smallyuk:.

2014-02-11, 03:30 AM
What does your baby look like?

A lonely, tiny circle on a graph I was meant to prove was a straight line.

2014-02-11, 11:12 AM
Why did you fail geometry?

I've been keeping it locked in this drawer until it dies of thirst.

Zar Peter
2014-02-11, 02:28 PM
Is it save? Can I come in now? Where DID you put the spider?

There's nothing I can't do for you, ma'm!

Laughing Dog
2014-02-11, 03:46 PM
You said what to Lloth?


2014-02-11, 08:06 PM
Wait, is that a-

No no no, I said entertain our guests!

2014-02-11, 09:17 PM
Where would you like the bodies?

Hang on, I'll ask Siri.

Holy cow, that works as the answer to the question too.

2014-02-12, 02:35 AM
Why doesn't Siri work?

Depicted as a teenage camel.

2014-02-12, 10:38 AM
Where did you see them before?

Because the coffee ran out.

2014-02-12, 11:46 AM
Why did you write this incomprehensible 37 page blog post?

She begged me to do it.

2014-02-12, 01:29 PM
Why on earth would you dump my dice down the garbage disposal?!

I think it's the murder weapon.

2014-02-12, 02:05 PM
Why on earth are you putting the baby in a bag :smalleek:

Nothing short of genesis will do it

2014-02-12, 04:27 PM
Can Wish create a planet made entirely of hats?

Conclusive proof that Hannah is also Redcloak's niece.

2014-02-12, 04:28 PM
What would it take for you to stop read OotS?

I'm allergic to cats.

2014-02-12, 05:36 PM
Would you accept this cat-fur sweater on behalf of all the dogs of the world?

I would like fried rice with that.

2014-02-12, 09:16 PM
What would you like with your dead baby soup?

I could maybe do it...three more times.

2014-02-12, 09:25 PM
Good sir, could you stab that enormous ice giant to death?

But he asked me to!

2014-02-13, 02:46 AM
Did you really Polymorph him into a Tarrasque??

Blanket fort.

2014-02-13, 08:51 AM
What's the best way to handle the current weather?

I left it in the robing room.

2014-02-13, 10:13 AM
Have you seen my whip?

But, they told me there was only one way!

2014-02-13, 10:34 AM
Um, are you sure the anime convention is on the other side of this volcano?

...in a can!

2014-02-13, 11:01 AM
So, we've got the unstable mass from the center of the star...Now, where do you think we should put it?

I was under the impression that we'd need at least a dozen more, but I guess they're just that effective.

2014-02-13, 11:18 AM
You accomplished all that with just one zergling?

Not even if you washed it in bleach and holy water.

Zar Peter
2014-02-14, 04:07 PM
Do you think I can get rid of this evil red wine stain on my best white shirt?

5 gallons of gasoline and a long hose.

2014-02-14, 04:16 PM
Is there anything else we need for the Valentine's Day Party?

Not even if its life depended on it.

2014-02-14, 04:31 PM
You're sure that a mastodon couldn't play ragtime-y piano?

No no, you're thinking of the traditional one. This new version has seven legs.

2014-02-14, 10:37 PM
You needed a 6-legged turkey for your plan master?

My trashcan could do better.

2014-02-15, 04:12 AM
Did you like my singing?

Wi-Fi's out.

2014-02-15, 09:09 AM

But it's dark out and we're wearing sunglasses!

2014-02-15, 11:11 AM
It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, and you want to just go?

If you're not shaking, you need another cup.

Zar Peter
2014-02-17, 05:44 PM
Another? Are you sure? I mean, 14 cup of coffee should wake up a rhinoceros...

Definitely. This is the end of the line.

2014-02-17, 05:49 PM
So the subway doesn't keep going through that wall to Hogwarts?

No, it's not enough. Not even close.

2014-02-17, 06:37 PM
One lump or two? Five?

A pot top.

Scarlet Knight
2014-02-17, 09:41 PM
"Well, if you didn't want this Pop Tart, what did you want?"

Lord, what fools these mortals be!

2014-02-18, 01:52 AM
You do realise reading the entire works of Shakespeare doesn't make you better than us, right?

In a soft, fluffy onesie.

2014-02-18, 09:46 AM
Have you seen the cat?

When I want to.

2014-02-18, 10:46 AM
When are you going to do something about your crippling caffeine addiction?

Because it's there.

2014-02-18, 03:11 PM
Why are you climbing the Empire State building like King Kong?

I looked it up on Urban Dictionary.

2014-02-18, 03:44 PM
Who told you goatse was a nature documentary about goats?

Humongous Mecha Margaret Thatcher. (Which actually fits with my question, too.)

2014-02-18, 03:46 PM
OK, so your plan for world peace is what?

And I did it with nothing more than this rusty spoon.

Zar Peter
2014-02-18, 04:22 PM
You ate all 4 gallons of pumpkin soup I just made?

Well, first I take Manhattan.

2014-02-18, 06:49 PM
Well I have made this cake that looks like N.Y. do you want a pice or two.

Just lock the monkey in the basement, that will do.

2014-02-19, 12:16 PM
Your mother arrived, shall i show her to the guest room?

A really big shoe!

2014-02-19, 12:50 PM
What's the secret to kickboxing?

You could at least try to do it before Mom gets home.

2014-02-19, 01:23 PM
If I dress the dog up as the cat and the cat up as the dog, do you think mum and dad will notice?

*Tips fedora* M'lady.

2014-02-19, 03:28 PM
Are you the doctor?

Meh. I'll get to it later.

Zar Peter
2014-02-19, 04:00 PM
Don't you want to check if the anesthetics are working before you begin with the surgery?

I take my statement back and argue the converse!

(sorry if this isn't english, google translator is my friend sometimes)

2014-02-19, 07:18 PM
Why are you arguing with your Sketchers? :smallconfused:

(Yes, I know, I took it out of context, your translation was fine. :smallbiggrin:)

Yes, I know, I took it out of context, your translation was fine. :smallannoyed:

2014-02-19, 08:14 PM
Was my translation that bad?

No! No, I swear... I didn't! No... please! PLEASE NO! HAVE MERCY! I beg of you... No, please! Anything but that...

2014-02-20, 04:36 AM
Did you want to come up on set and meet the teletubbies? *They advance towards you, arms outstretched*


2014-02-20, 09:44 AM
What'cha gonna do today, Godzilla?

Give me some space, I'm trying to concentrate!

2014-02-20, 10:04 AM
Do you mind if I just sit here right next to you and talk about whatever happens to be going thru my mind at the moment like a snowstorm is coming and there will be a couple or few more inches of show and eventually it has to warm up and all melt and then we can all go outside with just a sweatshirt instead of looking like we are bundled up because the world is freezing over and then we need to have more coffee and what will we do without coffee the world would be ending and then where would we go for our coffee do other planets have coffee and would they send us coffee assistance or would they take advantage of our seriously caffeine deprived selves and kill us all off?


2014-02-20, 10:24 AM
Are you over-caffeinated?


2014-02-20, 11:34 AM
Wanna hear how high I can play on my flute?

And as the stars align, I shall achieve true power!

2014-02-20, 11:40 AM
So what happens after you stuff the giant wooden alpaca with potato salad?

I think it's in Scotland...

2014-02-20, 12:32 PM
Where is America?

Yeeeaaah, no.

2014-02-20, 03:11 PM
Want to play Pokemon?

Hang on- THERE.

2014-02-20, 03:45 PM
What are you doing with that knife?

It's the thought that counts.

2014-02-20, 03:50 PM
How do psions work?


Zar Peter
2014-02-20, 04:18 PM
Wait Cinderella, when you said you've got to be home?

It's all a great misunderstanding.

2014-02-20, 04:24 PM
What is the meaning of life?

Lets go ride bikes!

2014-02-23, 05:29 AM
Your mounts are fatigued, your casters are out of spells and resting, and the paladin is on watch. What do you do?

A bag of marbles inside three other bags.

2014-02-23, 07:05 AM
Can you explain to me what a multiverse is?

The day shall come when you no long are of any use to us.

Scarlet Knight
2014-02-23, 11:29 AM
"So what about job security?"

Fins to the left! Fins to the right!

2014-02-24, 03:16 PM
Wait, Disney hired you to write the cartoon version of The Charge of the Light Brigade?

Because I said so, that's why.

2014-02-24, 03:54 PM
So this bomb strapped to my gonads is essential why?


2014-02-24, 05:46 PM
What do they serve at the all-you-can-eat buffet?

Whenever I feel like it, don't judge me!

2014-02-24, 10:30 PM
HOW often did you say you eat 20 gallons of ice cream?

Only if the coffee is gone.

2014-02-25, 10:06 AM
Will you be activating the Doomsday Device?

We're ALWAYS hiring!

2014-02-25, 10:17 AM
So, do you believe in the whole 'too many cooks spoil the broth' thing?

With grizzly bears and bull sharks, that's what!

Laughing Dog
2014-02-25, 01:42 PM
You plan on stopping Galactus with what?

2014-02-25, 03:12 PM
(insert question here) The meaning of life the universe and everything?

A Google Legos.

2014-02-25, 04:26 PM
What are you planning to use to build that Death Star?

It's never too late to say SHRUBBERY!

2014-02-25, 05:55 PM
You mean we should stop saying "Ni"?

Adorable Vector Legion group cuddle scenes, because they all need some love.

2014-02-26, 03:19 AM
So now you have become a god in the oots universe what is going to be your first act as a god?

Let them eat cake

2014-02-26, 09:14 AM
What should we do when the last meat muffin is gone, and we still have three million ants to feed??!

It only hurts when I look left.

2014-02-26, 09:57 AM
You broke your neck and you can still move your head like an owl?


2014-02-26, 10:14 AM
Judge, why are you taking off your pants?

I'm pretty sure that's illegal.

2014-02-26, 01:36 PM
Ok my plan.
We rush the cave, kill the goblins and save the virgin, they plan to sacrefise to their demon god.
What do you think AKA_Bait the Paladin?

Just take off our pants

2014-03-01, 05:47 AM
How do I break the curse?

My heater, again.

2014-03-01, 12:54 PM
Where's my pet goldfish?

Ms. Scarlet, in the Observatory, with the Revolver.

2014-03-01, 03:24 PM
Want to play Clue?

762 dead AA batteries.

2014-03-01, 03:29 PM
OK, what happened because of your month-long Mario Kart tournament?


2014-03-01, 03:57 PM
You imagined the bride getting married with what in her hand??

Step 1: Tarrasque
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit!

Zar Peter
2014-03-01, 05:29 PM
So, you think this valley would be a good place for us now that we reached level 10?

When it's over you will thank me for that.

2014-03-01, 07:36 PM
Why did you murder everyone I ever loved or cared about as soon as I accepted your quest?

I believe that means it's poisonous...

2014-03-03, 09:53 PM
What does it mean if you eat it and your ears fall off?

I have a paperclip, some lint, and an iPhone.

2014-03-04, 03:41 AM
Wanna trade lunches?

No! There's a huge difference! Aaaargh!

2014-03-04, 10:31 AM
Aren't Tarquin and V's actions morally equivalent?

I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together.

2014-03-05, 07:56 AM
We're broke again, when is the next bounty comming our way ?

I think a few people in the South do ?

@V I hope you realise this mean war ?

2014-03-05, 09:06 AM
Come on man, who plays 2nd edition Mutants and Masterminds anymore?

Hold on a second. QUACK!

2014-03-05, 10:32 AM
Hey, is that a demonic duck of some sort?

Well, it worked last time!

2014-03-05, 10:57 AM
You thought hitting the server with a sledge hammer would fix the problem?

It's not me, it's you.

2014-03-05, 01:11 PM
Egad, what is that terrible stink?!

A wizard did it.

Targ Collective
2014-03-05, 09:01 PM
Why am I trapped on a Plane of Infinite Jests?

Heheheh. Whee!

2014-03-05, 09:05 PM
What did the snake say to the badger?


2014-03-06, 03:16 AM
What do you get if you cross a doctor with an alligator?

No, you were meant to cast it on me, you ignorant buffoon!

Zar Peter
2014-03-06, 04:54 AM
I did cast stoneskin on me to save me from the arrows, as you commanded. Aren't you happy?

Seriously, you should put more effort in it.

2014-03-06, 11:01 AM
Why can't I transmute this lead into gold?!

That was true yesterday, but not anymore.

2014-03-06, 11:59 AM
I thought Paladins were allowed in this campaign! What the heck?

We just walk in -blaring Weird Al on a boombox, mind you- beat up everybody there, take their action figures, and leave town.

Jester of Doom
2014-03-06, 11:54 PM
Okay guys, does anyone have a plan to stop the Cult of Asmodeus?

Yes, I did. But in my defense, it was technically not cannibalism.

Targ Collective
2014-03-07, 12:11 AM
Oh my god, did you eat a leg???

Of course you know this means peace.

2014-03-07, 04:14 AM
OH Great hero who was born a pesant and swore eternal revenge on all orc's when they slaughtered your village, the orc's have brought you a offering, a steak dinner.

What do it mean?

We put them into the ground, mourn for a while and go to crazy town.

2014-03-07, 04:28 AM
The party truenamer died, what are the cele- uhh, funeral plans?

The ninth.

2014-03-07, 09:30 AM
Which was your favorite Doctor?

1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

2014-03-07, 09:37 AM
What did the Roman centurion name his children?

It's been in your left hand this entire time.

2014-03-07, 11:11 AM
Where are my left hand bones?

It doesn't last long.

2014-03-07, 12:03 PM
What happens when your favourite character is alive, well, and happy?

No, I painted her.

2014-03-07, 12:10 PM
Did you drew her ?

♪ Twooo biiits !

2014-03-07, 01:58 PM
How much information can you store on your hard drive?

Yes, and it only took about two minutes.

2014-03-07, 06:07 PM
Congratulations, I have heard your wife is with Child.

Put on the monkey suit and climb down the rabit hole with the nuklear bomb

2014-03-07, 06:23 PM
We have rabbits in the garden, and only twenty minutes before we need to leave for a dinner party. How do we get rid of them?

I swear, it was someone else.


1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

What did the Roman centurion name his children?

It's funny because it's true...

2014-03-07, 06:32 PM
^ :smallbiggrin:

Did you eat the last Time Lord?


Jester of Doom
2014-03-07, 07:15 PM
Oracle, what is the one weakness that can kill the Dread Lord Argak?

Simple, cover him in birdseed then release a horde of chickens.

2014-03-08, 06:19 AM
Oracle, what is the one weakness that can kill the Dread Lord Argak?

Simple, cover him in birdseed then release a horde of chickens.

I'm laughing because that perfectly fits your question.

How do you get your DM to stop using swarms on you?

Because everything is better with dragons.

2014-03-08, 06:37 AM
Why can't we just play chess normaly

Well a Lannister always pays his depts!

2014-03-08, 09:32 AM
Do you still owe me your soul?

Because the ticking time bomb said so.

2014-03-08, 12:39 PM
Why are you singing K-pop and tap dancing?

By the unholy powers of 4chan you shall be silent!

2014-03-08, 12:52 PM
I don't think you can be a cleric of the Internet...

Then we will die with honor!!!

2014-03-08, 04:57 PM
Sir we have run out of donuts!

A giant gorilla i new york!

Targ Collective
2014-03-08, 07:50 PM
Who or what are you?

No-one I've told this story has ever believed it. Maybe it's better that way. It all began on a demiplane devoted to making up unbelievable stories...

2014-03-08, 08:40 PM
Isn't that the same excuse you tried the last time you owed me money?

Two knives, three arrows, a pot, some chickens, and a potato.

2014-03-09, 04:21 AM
How much is a soul worth, anyway? http://watchfree.me/66/w.png

2014-03-09, 08:40 AM
What does white space sound like?

DIE PLANET! DIIEEEEEE! [Large Ham intensifies]

2014-03-09, 12:03 PM
Say, did anyone ever tell you that you look a lot like Galactus?

Imagine how the glass of water feels.

2014-03-10, 09:13 AM
How do I achieve inner peace?

I can't afford that.

2014-03-10, 09:40 AM
Quick, call 911!

It's not in my contacts.

2014-03-10, 12:09 PM
Did anyone see where that laser went?

Given a choice, I think I'd go with red.

2014-03-10, 02:19 PM
Pick a number, any number!

I may have fumbled my Psicraft check... D:

Targ Collective
2014-03-10, 03:15 PM
So, Psion, you say that the crystal is ice based.... Why did it just burn me???

2014-03-11, 05:39 PM
What is your signature?

There's fine.

2014-03-12, 12:09 AM
If you would just point on your body were I should shoot you with this elephant rifle?

You simply light it up and throw.

2014-03-12, 03:10 AM
How do I use this stone to see at the bottom of the well?

I'll only pay for it if you take your sister with you.

2014-03-12, 09:42 AM
Didn't you say you'd be buying my ticket for BronyCon as a birthday gift?

This demon can only be driven out with breakdancing.

2014-03-12, 12:27 PM
What should we do about this M.C. Hammer possession?


2014-03-12, 04:27 PM
Hey, dude, can you do this?

I believe it's a +3!

2014-03-12, 05:17 PM
Can you heal me im dying from the masterwork sword the Ork is hitting me with.

That sound EPIC!!!

2014-03-12, 08:25 PM
I ever tell you about the time my buddy Kieth drove a car off a cliff and broke both his legs?

Orange croutons zoom-zoom butterscotch. :smallamused:

Zar Peter
2014-03-13, 02:24 AM
This... this tastes AWESOME! What's the name of the drink again?

Yes, you should do exactly that.

2014-03-13, 03:18 AM
You really think I should test my new spell on the only healer?


2014-03-13, 03:51 AM
I don't think it a good idea to upgrate our wooden stakes to steel ones right before we go hunting vampires do you?

You just glue the toast onto the back of the cat, marmalade side up!

Targ Collective
2014-03-13, 09:55 AM
What's a cheap and easy to construct free energy device powered by old wive's tales?

Muahahahahahaha!!!! Muahahahahahahahaha!!!! Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah!!!!!

2014-03-13, 02:58 PM
Is that you Kefka?

It's just a flesh wound.

2014-03-13, 03:27 PM
Another papercut?

Only because I truly love you! She was getting in the way of our happiness!!!

2014-03-13, 03:28 PM
Honey, why is the baby on fire?

And magic makes it all complete!

Passive Pete
2014-03-13, 07:27 PM
So we put the strawberry cupcakes around the ring like this. . . and the chocolate ones in the middle?

I'm sorry. . . I just felt compelled to ride a goose around in circles.

2014-03-13, 08:10 PM
Who thought applying the dire template to farm animals was a good idea?

Nimirum didici potes!

Targ Collective
2014-03-13, 08:54 PM
What's a Latin phrase?

At last, with this spell, I can defeat the Dark One! Now, all I need is a silver thimble, the semen of a live, virgin octopus and a phial of ink. Thaumaturge! Fetch my ingredients!

Jester of Doom
2014-03-13, 09:22 PM
Sir, is this the Bigby's Backscratching Hand scroll you asked for?

I'll only do it if I get my 50%.

2014-03-13, 10:03 PM
Are you going to help me sell your left lung on the black market, leaving you alive but horribly crippled?

"Platipeople," I guess...

2014-03-14, 09:12 AM
We need another humanoid creature type for Fifth Edition, any ideas?

That's not a knife; this is a knife!

2014-03-14, 09:36 AM
OK, I have a +5 flaming dagger. Bet you can't beat that!

I call it Rule 34: The Musical!

2014-03-14, 11:34 AM
A-are those... my parents?!

You forgot to carry the e^2t...

2014-03-14, 08:59 PM
...I blew up half the known universe using nothing but a grain of sand and a magnet.
My question is, why is there suddenly a puppy with tentacles in front of me?!

Hm... better than when you tried it with the pants.

2014-03-15, 04:05 PM
Look at me, I can take of my glooves realy fast.

Go back to sleep its just a dream, Im not realy here.

Scarlet Knight
2014-03-16, 07:39 AM
Megan Fox? Is that you?

Rum, seashell bra, grass skirt, and limes.

2014-03-16, 09:18 AM
OK, what do I need for the costume party?

Sir, we have a 9-2-7 in the White House.

2014-03-16, 11:30 AM
Did my Chinese food arrive yet, political henchman?

I think... We are all Lucy. Cause... There's a sky, and diamonds and... Stuff, dude. It's like we're in wonderland.

2014-03-16, 11:50 AM
Have you been dropping acid and reading Peanuts again?

By playing a game of Calvinball!

2014-03-16, 12:19 PM
How do you propose we solve the issue of World Apathy?

Anything is possible if you just believe.

2014-03-16, 07:51 PM
Do you believe I can eat Chuck Norris?

A black dragon, whose scales are not all shiny.

Targ Collective
2014-03-16, 08:07 PM
How can you tell the black dragon is not good-aligned?

Oh look, a penny. Oh look, another penny. Wow, lots of Gil. Even more Gil! Gil, gil, gil, hooray!



2014-03-17, 02:46 AM
So after telling your ogre girlfriend that you broke up, what did you say that got you away alive?

A 10 foot high giant space hamster suit

2014-03-17, 04:00 AM
What did you hack Baldur's Gate to make Minsc wear?


2014-03-17, 04:08 AM
Hey! Check out what I found in our closet, sis!

...Whatever you do, do not drop it like it's hot.

Both of my posts have been directly beneath socksy. Coincidence? I think NOT.(Actually, it totally is, and it's freaking me out.
<.< >.< >.>

2014-03-17, 04:16 AM
It's because I'm reverse-stalking you :smalltongue:

2014-03-17, 09:08 AM
What should I do with the baby?

Because it's St. Patrick's day.

2014-03-17, 09:25 AM
Is there a reason why my coffee is green?

It's a story of the true love found between a cat and a dog.

2014-03-17, 03:14 PM
What is the movie "Forbidden Love" about?

Because of emoticons:smallbiggrin:.

2014-03-17, 05:59 PM
Why do you want to kill EmeraldRose

You can leave your hat on