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DarkLightDragon
2014-01-25, 03:11 PM
Ooooooo, can you say that again?

It wasn't me, officer!

ts20fan
2014-01-26, 11:40 AM
Did you see anything of the mass homicide next door?

WAIT! I'll go get my Expo markers!

EmeraldRose
2014-01-26, 08:06 PM
You actually expect me to believe there is a form of writing more permanent than words carved into solid rock? :smallconfused:

But it was just a bachelorette party, honest!

rs2excelsior
2014-01-26, 09:57 PM
So I suppose you had nothing to do with the noise violations, calls to the police for disorderly conduct, and fifteen city blocks burned to the ground?

Trust me. You REALLY don't want to know.

Targ Collective
2014-01-27, 01:18 AM
Is this what it really looks like????

[garbled]

Orm-Embar
2014-01-27, 11:34 AM
Could you please put that transmission on speakerphone so we can all hear the alien leader's demands?

Four aces and a dancing bear.

AKA_Bait
2014-01-27, 11:41 AM
Who will starring in the next Top Gun movie?

I simply will not eat that.

Socksy
2014-01-27, 02:17 PM
So, is it true you're a humanitarian?

I-it's not like I LIKE you or anything! Baka!!

ImpSyndrome
2014-01-27, 02:29 PM
Is there a reason you tried to club me to death with a baseball bat yesterday?

Sorry, but we only accept euros, GP, and/or Nutella.

Zar Peter
2014-01-27, 02:44 PM
So, I'd really like to buy this carpet. I have VISA and MasterCard. And here are some Cowries. How much?

And now I REALLY want you to turn on the light!

AKA_Bait
2014-01-27, 03:24 PM
Did you hear that floorboard creek?

I'd suggest looking behind you.

Socksy
2014-01-27, 04:49 PM
I'm telling you, it is scientifically impossible for a Tarrasque to sneak up on someone!
Wait, is it just me or can you smell something strange, like something is... breathing on you?


Laurin's heavily-debated favour.

EmeraldRose
2014-01-27, 04:51 PM
What is the opposite of Victoria's Secret?

Because they have ANOTHER day of cancelled school due to COLD. :smallmad:

Zar Peter
2014-01-27, 05:49 PM
Why are the kids replaying Harry Potter Part VI in our sleeping room?

Because they don't know better.

AKA_Bait
2014-01-28, 09:38 AM
Why are the kids happy about missing a vital day of their education?

Nope, I ordered a hot chocolate.

rs2excelsior
2014-01-28, 10:24 AM
So this vat of acid and dragon tears isn't yours?

RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

Dudeons
2014-01-28, 12:13 PM
OK, how should we start off the marathon?

...and that's why starring Justin Beiber in a remake of Star Wars would make the best film EVER.

D20ragon
2014-01-28, 01:32 PM
Listen. People like to stab themselves with forks, am I right?


People people people. I'm sure there is enough asparagus for you to kill the zombies with. I counted!

Socksy
2014-01-28, 04:33 PM
Are you sure this is going to help us all ascend to lichdom?

Either 3+2i, 3-2i, or the asteroid belt.

ImpSyndrome
2014-01-28, 06:09 PM
How much can you give me for my old baseball card collection?

OK, my advice: don't let go of that button. Just wait here, and I'll go get a crane and a big freaking hammer.

AKA_Bait
2014-01-29, 10:42 AM
Was it a bad idea to press the large red button labeled "never press this button?"

It's not a bug, it's a feature!

Targ Collective
2014-01-29, 07:56 PM
Your computer is attacking me! Make it stop!

Heehee, that tickles.

EmeraldRose
2014-01-30, 09:44 AM
Would you mind if I stab you with this spoon?

But it was just sitting there!

Blood_caller
2014-01-30, 05:17 PM
WHY OH WHY, Why in heavens name did you emty your whole mag. Into the puppy Corporal Rose

A cardinal sin, two midgets and a magic sword, not to forget the disease

Socksy
2014-01-30, 05:25 PM
What did those overly-complex 1E bard class entry rules involve, again?

The entire Homestuck fandom.

PurityIcekiller
2014-01-30, 10:02 PM
Who are all those people chasing you with torches and pitchforks?

Just before I left the coffee shop.

Cuthalion
2014-01-30, 10:05 PM
Wait, when did you set the bonfire?

Not since the porcupine ate it.

EmeraldRose
2014-01-30, 10:08 PM
Have you seen the brillo pad?

Well, it starts out with a relaxation massage, followed by a hot stone treatment, and then finishes up with a skin peel.

Orm-Embar
2014-01-31, 12:20 AM
How did the secret police carry out the interrogation?

Forty hours in a hot air balloon, but that was nothing compared to the last time.

Socksy
2014-01-31, 07:52 AM
How long did you spend dropping Rust Monsters on low-level fighters?

EDIT: Forgot my answer.

Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM, MUSHROOM!

AKA_Bait
2014-01-31, 10:39 AM
Did you remember to take your medication this morning?

A piece of yellow chalk should do the trick.

ImpSyndrome
2014-01-31, 11:40 AM
Professor, this tumor is outside of my purview. How would you recommend treating the symptoms?

OK, OK, I'll do it. Just put that thing away before you hurt someone.

ts20fan
2014-01-31, 03:06 PM
Can you sharpen this? *swings diamond sword around like a maniac*

Jello! JELLO! JELLO!!!

Socksy
2014-01-31, 04:03 PM
*Picks up phone* Yellow?

The purple-eyed, stick-thin yet with huge boobs, dating Jozan and Regdar, half-dragon half-fiend elf archmage who is oh, so conflicted and troubled about her heritage except when it's inconvenient.

Dudeons
2014-01-31, 10:01 PM
Quick! I need a Mary Sue for my D&D parody!

A dash of salt will do.

Orm-Embar
2014-02-01, 07:52 AM
How do you season your Slug Soup?

Fresh air and a big knife.

ts20fan
2014-02-01, 11:00 AM
What causes people to become psychopaths?

Duct tape. CORRECTION: PINK duct tape.

Socksy
2014-02-01, 12:09 PM
What did I need to bring to the this week's Brownies meeting?

That one d20 which hates the player rolling it.

Lifscuetorya
2014-02-01, 03:37 PM
How did you manage to lose a fight to a single angry squirrel?

Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

Blood_caller
2014-02-02, 03:34 AM
So who is the fathers of all your half dragon kids

At 24 o'clock on that special night

Solse
2014-02-02, 07:15 AM
What's another way to say "12:00 PM on that special night"?

Sorry, but it's halfway across the solar system by now.

rs2excelsior
2014-02-02, 08:57 AM
So you're saying you can't get my toaster back?

Just put it anywhere.

alaalba_123
2014-02-02, 09:18 AM
Where do you want me to hide the evidence?

He's a severe liability. Kill him.

Socksy
2014-02-02, 09:27 AM
What should I do when Santa comes this year?

A pencil case containing no pencils, but several angry fire ants.

Dudeons
2014-02-02, 01:46 PM
Wait, you brought what to art class?!

Because friendship is magic, duh!

ts20fan
2014-02-02, 01:50 PM
How did you just turn your best friend invisible?

A George Washington bobble-head.

alaalba_123
2014-02-02, 11:33 PM
What do you want for Valentine's Day?

Only the three on the left.

Socksy
2014-02-03, 03:50 AM
*deep bow* May I kiss your hand?

All of the sleepiness.

ImpSyndrome
2014-02-03, 12:37 PM
How much sleepiness would I need to rule the world?

Go back to the part where you kicked a falling meteor back into space...No no, the time before you suplexed the narwhal.

EmeraldRose
2014-02-03, 08:34 PM
Have you seen my contact lens?

You don't honestly expect me to give you that particular piece of information, do you? :smallconfused:

AKA_Bait
2014-02-04, 08:54 AM
What's your shoe size?

That sounds unpleasant.

alaalba_123
2014-02-04, 10:54 AM
Would you like a lava bath?

It's a gazebo.

Zar Peter
2014-02-04, 12:22 PM
So, after I shot this poisoned adamantine arrow at it, what does it do?

Take one Aspirin and go to sleep.

Socksy
2014-02-04, 01:16 PM
How do I heal wounds inflicted by flying sourcebooks?

The dracolich.

ImpSyndrome
2014-02-04, 03:01 PM
OK, who ate my leftover pizza again?!

Umm...OK, but I don't think it'll do much.

Blood_caller
2014-02-04, 07:09 PM
Lets use the summon LG epic arch angel of revenge scroll we found to stop the four 2nd level cultists who are trying to summon a imp.

A scrubery offcourse

smuchmuch
2014-02-04, 07:15 PM
What is the best use of a shrubbery when you have an itchy back ?

Ten point nine nine nine nine ..... !

Passive Pete
2014-02-04, 09:34 PM
On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is the smell?

You see, the bears are the ones that steal the grapes, THEN you come in with the rubber chicken.

Socksy
2014-02-05, 09:15 AM
How will we steal the fruit from the farm if I'm allergic to grapes and it's guarded by dire chickens?

Actually, the cake is the truth.

EmeraldRose
2014-02-05, 10:35 AM
What counteracts the pie?

A nail file, a cup of coffee, two computers, a smart phone, and a tablet.

alaalba_123
2014-02-05, 11:08 AM
What's in your trunk?

367, actually, but only once.

Dudeons
2014-02-05, 07:12 PM
Wait a minute, I have to stab this guy once per day every single day for 365 stabs in the year?

Screw that! I'm goin' in!

Meth In a Mine
2014-02-05, 11:10 PM
Hey why are your clothes off?

That there is Michael Bay's Portable Movie Maker.

ts20fan
2014-02-06, 10:08 PM
What the-? What is this cardboard box doing over my toilet?

Only in Russia.

AKA_Bait
2014-02-07, 12:41 PM
Is that knish eating you?

It's the only way I can get a gold medal.

EmeraldRose
2014-02-07, 01:02 PM
Did you have to kneecap her?

But I like to have fries with that.

Socksy
2014-02-07, 02:42 PM
(( It keeps eating my replies D: ))

You can't dunk your fries in glue!

The long and winding road.

Dudeons
2014-02-08, 12:19 AM
So which way gets me to your place again?

With a large Mountain Dew.

Scarlet Knight
2014-02-08, 06:19 PM
"Say, Pappy, how do you make friends with a McCoy?"

The last mango in Paris.

CrimsonKnight
2014-02-08, 11:21 PM
What was the primary cause of the Great Mime Rampage of 2011?

God, you're such a whiner.

Socksy
2014-02-09, 04:36 AM
Does anyone have a needle and thread? I think my leg just got blown off.

Pokémon diamond and pearl

Pocal
2014-02-09, 04:52 AM
What are the devil's worst fears?

I didnt think Id like it this much.

ts20fan
2014-02-09, 09:39 PM
How was the no-anesthesia surgery?

I did that in high school.

Pocal
2014-02-10, 09:41 AM
When did you destroy SkyNet?

That's The Wiggles.

EmeraldRose
2014-02-10, 09:54 AM
WHAT IS THAT HORRIBLE NOISE?!?!?!?!

It was only 9 cups.

Socksy
2014-02-10, 09:59 AM
Is it true you went back in time and introduced Smallpox to the human population?!

A gerblet. Like a hamlet, but without the hamsters.

Passive Pete
2014-02-10, 01:29 PM
Where did Fluffy say he was gonna raise his family?

673, without all of the steak-fat.

Dudeons
2014-02-10, 03:50 PM
I'm sorry sir, how much beef did you want on that pizza?

Oh, it was just a quick little mix of NyQuil and lemon juice.

ts20fan
2014-02-10, 04:01 PM
I asked for something to help me sleep with her... What did you give me?

Sure, Here's my calculator.

Blood_caller
2014-02-10, 05:17 PM
Quick give me the murder weapon so I can hide it before the cops arrive.

No you get Pentagon.

EmeraldRose
2014-02-10, 08:09 PM
Can I have Kremlin for Christmas?

Purple, with a slight tinge of green, followed by a lovely :smallyuk:.

Socksy
2014-02-11, 03:30 AM
What does your baby look like?

A lonely, tiny circle on a graph I was meant to prove was a straight line.

AKA_Bait
2014-02-11, 11:12 AM
Why did you fail geometry?

I've been keeping it locked in this drawer until it dies of thirst.

Zar Peter
2014-02-11, 02:28 PM
Is it save? Can I come in now? Where DID you put the spider?

There's nothing I can't do for you, ma'm!

Laughing Dog
2014-02-11, 03:46 PM
You said what to Lloth?

Incoming!:eek:

Dudeons
2014-02-11, 08:06 PM
Wait, is that a-

No no no, I said entertain our guests!

ts20fan
2014-02-11, 09:17 PM
Where would you like the bodies?

Hang on, I'll ask Siri.

Holy cow, that works as the answer to the question too.

Socksy
2014-02-12, 02:35 AM
Why doesn't Siri work?

Depicted as a teenage camel.

EmeraldRose
2014-02-12, 10:38 AM
Where did you see them before?

Because the coffee ran out.

AKA_Bait
2014-02-12, 11:46 AM
Why did you write this incomprehensible 37 page blog post?

She begged me to do it.

Dudeons
2014-02-12, 01:29 PM
Why on earth would you dump my dice down the garbage disposal?!

I think it's the murder weapon.

Blood_caller
2014-02-12, 02:05 PM
Why on earth are you putting the baby in a bag :smalleek:

Nothing short of genesis will do it

Socksy
2014-02-12, 04:27 PM
Can Wish create a planet made entirely of hats?

Conclusive proof that Hannah is also Redcloak's niece.

AKA_Bait
2014-02-12, 04:28 PM
What would it take for you to stop read OotS?

I'm allergic to cats.

EmeraldRose
2014-02-12, 05:36 PM
Would you accept this cat-fur sweater on behalf of all the dogs of the world?

I would like fried rice with that.

Pocal
2014-02-12, 09:16 PM
What would you like with your dead baby soup?

I could maybe do it...three more times.

Arkhosia
2014-02-12, 09:25 PM
Good sir, could you stab that enormous ice giant to death?

But he asked me to!

Socksy
2014-02-13, 02:46 AM
Did you really Polymorph him into a Tarrasque??

Blanket fort.

AKA_Bait
2014-02-13, 08:51 AM
What's the best way to handle the current weather?

I left it in the robing room.

EmeraldRose
2014-02-13, 10:13 AM
Have you seen my whip?

But, they told me there was only one way!

Dudeons
2014-02-13, 10:34 AM
Um, are you sure the anime convention is on the other side of this volcano?

...in a can!

ImpSyndrome
2014-02-13, 11:01 AM
So, we've got the unstable mass from the center of the star...Now, where do you think we should put it?

I was under the impression that we'd need at least a dozen more, but I guess they're just that effective.

AKA_Bait
2014-02-13, 11:18 AM
You accomplished all that with just one zergling?

Not even if you washed it in bleach and holy water.

Zar Peter
2014-02-14, 04:07 PM
Do you think I can get rid of this evil red wine stain on my best white shirt?

5 gallons of gasoline and a long hose.

EmeraldRose
2014-02-14, 04:16 PM
Is there anything else we need for the Valentine's Day Party?

Not even if its life depended on it.

ImpSyndrome
2014-02-14, 04:31 PM
You're sure that a mastodon couldn't play ragtime-y piano?

No no, you're thinking of the traditional one. This new version has seven legs.

ts20fan
2014-02-14, 10:37 PM
You needed a 6-legged turkey for your plan master?

My trashcan could do better.

Socksy
2014-02-15, 04:12 AM
Did you like my singing?

Wi-Fi's out.

Arkhosia
2014-02-15, 09:09 AM
WHY THE [Expletive] DID YOU GO ON A CITY-WIDE RAMPAGE?!??


But it's dark out and we're wearing sunglasses!

EmeraldRose
2014-02-15, 11:11 AM
It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, and you want to just go?

If you're not shaking, you need another cup.

Zar Peter
2014-02-17, 05:44 PM
Another? Are you sure? I mean, 14 cup of coffee should wake up a rhinoceros...

Definitely. This is the end of the line.

rs2excelsior
2014-02-17, 05:49 PM
So the subway doesn't keep going through that wall to Hogwarts?

No, it's not enough. Not even close.

ts20fan
2014-02-17, 06:37 PM
One lump or two? Five?

A pot top.

Scarlet Knight
2014-02-17, 09:41 PM
"Well, if you didn't want this Pop Tart, what did you want?"

Lord, what fools these mortals be!

Socksy
2014-02-18, 01:52 AM
You do realise reading the entire works of Shakespeare doesn't make you better than us, right?

In a soft, fluffy onesie.

EmeraldRose
2014-02-18, 09:46 AM
Have you seen the cat?

When I want to.

AKA_Bait
2014-02-18, 10:46 AM
When are you going to do something about your crippling caffeine addiction?

Because it's there.

ts20fan
2014-02-18, 03:11 PM
Why are you climbing the Empire State building like King Kong?

I looked it up on Urban Dictionary.

Socksy
2014-02-18, 03:44 PM
Who told you goatse was a nature documentary about goats?

Humongous Mecha Margaret Thatcher. (Which actually fits with my question, too.)

Dudeons
2014-02-18, 03:46 PM
OK, so your plan for world peace is what?

And I did it with nothing more than this rusty spoon.

Zar Peter
2014-02-18, 04:22 PM
You ate all 4 gallons of pumpkin soup I just made?

Well, first I take Manhattan.

Blood_caller
2014-02-18, 06:49 PM
Well I have made this cake that looks like N.Y. do you want a pice or two.

Just lock the monkey in the basement, that will do.

Ninjaman
2014-02-19, 12:16 PM
Your mother arrived, shall i show her to the guest room?

A really big shoe!

Dudeons
2014-02-19, 12:50 PM
What's the secret to kickboxing?

You could at least try to do it before Mom gets home.

Socksy
2014-02-19, 01:23 PM
If I dress the dog up as the cat and the cat up as the dog, do you think mum and dad will notice?

*Tips fedora* M'lady.

ts20fan
2014-02-19, 03:28 PM
Are you the doctor?

Meh. I'll get to it later.

Zar Peter
2014-02-19, 04:00 PM
Don't you want to check if the anesthetics are working before you begin with the surgery?

I take my statement back and argue the converse!

(sorry if this isn't english, google translator is my friend sometimes)

EmeraldRose
2014-02-19, 07:18 PM
Why are you arguing with your Sketchers? :smallconfused:

(Yes, I know, I took it out of context, your translation was fine. :smallbiggrin:)

Yes, I know, I took it out of context, your translation was fine. :smallannoyed:

Aorani
2014-02-19, 08:14 PM
Was my translation that bad?

No! No, I swear... I didn't! No... please! PLEASE NO! HAVE MERCY! I beg of you... No, please! Anything but that...

Socksy
2014-02-20, 04:36 AM
Did you want to come up on set and meet the teletubbies? *They advance towards you, arms outstretched*

I'M GOING ON A CITY-WIDE RAMPAGE!

ImpSyndrome
2014-02-20, 09:44 AM
What'cha gonna do today, Godzilla?

Give me some space, I'm trying to concentrate!

EmeraldRose
2014-02-20, 10:04 AM
Do you mind if I just sit here right next to you and talk about whatever happens to be going thru my mind at the moment like a snowstorm is coming and there will be a couple or few more inches of show and eventually it has to warm up and all melt and then we can all go outside with just a sweatshirt instead of looking like we are bundled up because the world is freezing over and then we need to have more coffee and what will we do without coffee the world would be ending and then where would we go for our coffee do other planets have coffee and would they send us coffee assistance or would they take advantage of our seriously caffeine deprived selves and kill us all off?

Yes.

AKA_Bait
2014-02-20, 10:24 AM
Are you over-caffeinated?

No.

Socksy
2014-02-20, 11:34 AM
Wanna hear how high I can play on my flute?

And as the stars align, I shall achieve true power!

rs2excelsior
2014-02-20, 11:40 AM
So what happens after you stuff the giant wooden alpaca with potato salad?

I think it's in Scotland...

Duck999
2014-02-20, 12:32 PM
Where is America?

Yeeeaaah, no.

ts20fan
2014-02-20, 03:11 PM
Want to play Pokemon?

Hang on- THERE.

AKA_Bait
2014-02-20, 03:45 PM
What are you doing with that knife?

It's the thought that counts.

Socksy
2014-02-20, 03:50 PM
How do psions work?

Twelve.

Zar Peter
2014-02-20, 04:18 PM
Wait Cinderella, when you said you've got to be home?

It's all a great misunderstanding.

Duck999
2014-02-20, 04:24 PM
What is the meaning of life?

Lets go ride bikes!

Socksy
2014-02-23, 05:29 AM
Your mounts are fatigued, your casters are out of spells and resting, and the paladin is on watch. What do you do?

A bag of marbles inside three other bags.

kulosle
2014-02-23, 07:05 AM
Can you explain to me what a multiverse is?


The day shall come when you no long are of any use to us.

Scarlet Knight
2014-02-23, 11:29 AM
"So what about job security?"


Fins to the left! Fins to the right!

AKA_Bait
2014-02-24, 03:16 PM
Wait, Disney hired you to write the cartoon version of The Charge of the Light Brigade?

Because I said so, that's why.

Dudeons
2014-02-24, 03:54 PM
So this bomb strapped to my gonads is essential why?

POWER! UNLIMITED POWWWEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Socksy
2014-02-24, 05:46 PM
What do they serve at the all-you-can-eat buffet?

Whenever I feel like it, don't judge me!

EmeraldRose
2014-02-24, 10:30 PM
HOW often did you say you eat 20 gallons of ice cream?

Only if the coffee is gone.

AKA_Bait
2014-02-25, 10:06 AM
Will you be activating the Doomsday Device?

We're ALWAYS hiring!

Dudeons
2014-02-25, 10:17 AM
So, do you believe in the whole 'too many cooks spoil the broth' thing?

With grizzly bears and bull sharks, that's what!

Laughing Dog
2014-02-25, 01:42 PM
You plan on stopping Galactus with what?

ts20fan
2014-02-25, 03:12 PM
(insert question here) The meaning of life the universe and everything?

A Google Legos.

AKA_Bait
2014-02-25, 04:26 PM
What are you planning to use to build that Death Star?

It's never too late to say SHRUBBERY!

Socksy
2014-02-25, 05:55 PM
You mean we should stop saying "Ni"?

Adorable Vector Legion group cuddle scenes, because they all need some love.

Blood_caller
2014-02-26, 03:19 AM
So now you have become a god in the oots universe what is going to be your first act as a god?

Let them eat cake

EmeraldRose
2014-02-26, 09:14 AM
What should we do when the last meat muffin is gone, and we still have three million ants to feed??!

It only hurts when I look left.

Dudeons
2014-02-26, 09:57 AM
You broke your neck and you can still move your head like an owl?

OBJECTION OVERRULED!!

AKA_Bait
2014-02-26, 10:14 AM
Judge, why are you taking off your pants?

I'm pretty sure that's illegal.

Blood_caller
2014-02-26, 01:36 PM
Ok my plan.
We rush the cave, kill the goblins and save the virgin, they plan to sacrefise to their demon god.
What do you think AKA_Bait the Paladin?

Just take off our pants

Socksy
2014-03-01, 05:47 AM
How do I break the curse?

My heater, again.

HisHolyAngel
2014-03-01, 12:54 PM
Where's my pet goldfish?

Ms. Scarlet, in the Observatory, with the Revolver.

ts20fan
2014-03-01, 03:24 PM
Want to play Clue?

762 dead AA batteries.

Dudeons
2014-03-01, 03:29 PM
OK, what happened because of your month-long Mario Kart tournament?

WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!!

Socksy
2014-03-01, 03:57 PM
You imagined the bride getting married with what in her hand??

Step 1: Tarrasque
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit!

Zar Peter
2014-03-01, 05:29 PM
So, you think this valley would be a good place for us now that we reached level 10?

When it's over you will thank me for that.

Aorani
2014-03-01, 07:36 PM
Why did you murder everyone I ever loved or cared about as soon as I accepted your quest?


I believe that means it's poisonous...

EmeraldRose
2014-03-03, 09:53 PM
What does it mean if you eat it and your ears fall off?

I have a paperclip, some lint, and an iPhone.

Socksy
2014-03-04, 03:41 AM
Wanna trade lunches?

No! There's a huge difference! Aaaargh!

AKA_Bait
2014-03-04, 10:31 AM
Aren't Tarquin and V's actions morally equivalent?

I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together.

smuchmuch
2014-03-05, 07:56 AM
We're broke again, when is the next bounty comming our way ?

I think a few people in the South do ?

@V I hope you realise this mean war ?

Dudeons
2014-03-05, 09:06 AM
Come on man, who plays 2nd edition Mutants and Masterminds anymore?

Hold on a second. QUACK!

Socksy
2014-03-05, 10:32 AM
Hey, is that a demonic duck of some sort?

Well, it worked last time!

AKA_Bait
2014-03-05, 10:57 AM
You thought hitting the server with a sledge hammer would fix the problem?

It's not me, it's you.

ImpSyndrome
2014-03-05, 01:11 PM
Egad, what is that terrible stink?!

A wizard did it.

Targ Collective
2014-03-05, 09:01 PM
Why am I trapped on a Plane of Infinite Jests?

Heheheh. Whee!

EmeraldRose
2014-03-05, 09:05 PM
What did the snake say to the badger?

Gatorade.

Socksy
2014-03-06, 03:16 AM
What do you get if you cross a doctor with an alligator?

No, you were meant to cast it on me, you ignorant buffoon!

Zar Peter
2014-03-06, 04:54 AM
I did cast stoneskin on me to save me from the arrows, as you commanded. Aren't you happy?

Seriously, you should put more effort in it.

AKA_Bait
2014-03-06, 11:01 AM
Why can't I transmute this lead into gold?!

That was true yesterday, but not anymore.

Dudeons
2014-03-06, 11:59 AM
I thought Paladins were allowed in this campaign! What the heck?

We just walk in -blaring Weird Al on a boombox, mind you- beat up everybody there, take their action figures, and leave town.

Jester of Doom
2014-03-06, 11:54 PM
Okay guys, does anyone have a plan to stop the Cult of Asmodeus?

Yes, I did. But in my defense, it was technically not cannibalism.

Targ Collective
2014-03-07, 12:11 AM
Oh my god, did you eat a leg???

Of course you know this means peace.

Blood_caller
2014-03-07, 04:14 AM
OH Great hero who was born a pesant and swore eternal revenge on all orc's when they slaughtered your village, the orc's have brought you a offering, a steak dinner.

What do it mean?

We put them into the ground, mourn for a while and go to crazy town.

Socksy
2014-03-07, 04:28 AM
The party truenamer died, what are the cele- uhh, funeral plans?

The ninth.

EmeraldRose
2014-03-07, 09:30 AM
Which was your favorite Doctor?

1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

AKA_Bait
2014-03-07, 09:37 AM
What did the Roman centurion name his children?

It's been in your left hand this entire time.

ts20fan
2014-03-07, 11:11 AM
Where are my left hand bones?

It doesn't last long.

Socksy
2014-03-07, 12:03 PM
What happens when your favourite character is alive, well, and happy?

No, I painted her.

smuchmuch
2014-03-07, 12:10 PM
Did you drew her ?

♪ Twooo biiits !

PurityIcekiller
2014-03-07, 01:58 PM
How much information can you store on your hard drive?

Yes, and it only took about two minutes.

Blood_caller
2014-03-07, 06:07 PM
Congratulations, I have heard your wife is with Child.

Put on the monkey suit and climb down the rabit hole with the nuklear bomb

rs2excelsior
2014-03-07, 06:23 PM
We have rabbits in the garden, and only twenty minutes before we need to leave for a dinner party. How do we get rid of them?

I swear, it was someone else.


(aside)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5.


What did the Roman centurion name his children?

It's funny because it's true...

EmeraldRose
2014-03-07, 06:32 PM
^ :smallbiggrin:

Did you eat the last Time Lord?

Tea.

Jester of Doom
2014-03-07, 07:15 PM
Oracle, what is the one weakness that can kill the Dread Lord Argak?

Simple, cover him in birdseed then release a horde of chickens.

Socksy
2014-03-08, 06:19 AM
Oracle, what is the one weakness that can kill the Dread Lord Argak?

Simple, cover him in birdseed then release a horde of chickens.

I'm laughing because that perfectly fits your question.

How do you get your DM to stop using swarms on you?

Because everything is better with dragons.

Blood_caller
2014-03-08, 06:37 AM
Why can't we just play chess normaly

Well a Lannister always pays his depts!

ts20fan
2014-03-08, 09:32 AM
Do you still owe me your soul?

Because the ticking time bomb said so.

Dudeons
2014-03-08, 12:39 PM
Why are you singing K-pop and tap dancing?

By the unholy powers of 4chan you shall be silent!

rs2excelsior
2014-03-08, 12:52 PM
I don't think you can be a cleric of the Internet...

Then we will die with honor!!!

Blood_caller
2014-03-08, 04:57 PM
Sir we have run out of donuts!

A giant gorilla i new york!

Targ Collective
2014-03-08, 07:50 PM
Who or what are you?

No-one I've told this story has ever believed it. Maybe it's better that way. It all began on a demiplane devoted to making up unbelievable stories...

EmeraldRose
2014-03-08, 08:40 PM
Isn't that the same excuse you tried the last time you owed me money?

Two knives, three arrows, a pot, some chickens, and a potato.

elly87
2014-03-09, 04:21 AM
How much is a soul worth, anyway? http://watchfree.me/66/w.png

Socksy
2014-03-09, 08:40 AM
What does white space sound like?

DIE PLANET! DIIEEEEEE! [Large Ham intensifies]

Orm-Embar
2014-03-09, 12:03 PM
Say, did anyone ever tell you that you look a lot like Galactus?

Imagine how the glass of water feels.

AKA_Bait
2014-03-10, 09:13 AM
How do I achieve inner peace?

I can't afford that.

Dudeons
2014-03-10, 09:40 AM
Quick, call 911!

It's not in my contacts.

EmeraldRose
2014-03-10, 12:09 PM
Did anyone see where that laser went?

Given a choice, I think I'd go with red.

Socksy
2014-03-10, 02:19 PM
Pick a number, any number!

I may have fumbled my Psicraft check... D:

Targ Collective
2014-03-10, 03:15 PM
So, Psion, you say that the crystal is ice based.... Why did it just burn me???

ts20fan
2014-03-11, 05:39 PM
What is your signature?

There's fine.

Blood_caller
2014-03-12, 12:09 AM
If you would just point on your body were I should shoot you with this elephant rifle?

You simply light it up and throw.

Socksy
2014-03-12, 03:10 AM
How do I use this stone to see at the bottom of the well?

I'll only pay for it if you take your sister with you.

Dudeons
2014-03-12, 09:42 AM
Didn't you say you'd be buying my ticket for BronyCon as a birthday gift?

This demon can only be driven out with breakdancing.

AKA_Bait
2014-03-12, 12:27 PM
What should we do about this M.C. Hammer possession?

Gross.

Socksy
2014-03-12, 04:27 PM
Hey, dude, can you do this?

I believe it's a +3!

Blood_caller
2014-03-12, 05:17 PM
Can you heal me im dying from the masterwork sword the Ork is hitting me with.

That sound EPIC!!!

Aberrant17
2014-03-12, 08:25 PM
I ever tell you about the time my buddy Kieth drove a car off a cliff and broke both his legs?

Orange croutons zoom-zoom butterscotch. :smallamused:

Zar Peter
2014-03-13, 02:24 AM
This... this tastes AWESOME! What's the name of the drink again?

Yes, you should do exactly that.

Socksy
2014-03-13, 03:18 AM
You really think I should test my new spell on the only healer?

It's METAL! YEEEEEEEEEAH!!

Blood_caller
2014-03-13, 03:51 AM
I don't think it a good idea to upgrate our wooden stakes to steel ones right before we go hunting vampires do you?

You just glue the toast onto the back of the cat, marmalade side up!

Targ Collective
2014-03-13, 09:55 AM
What's a cheap and easy to construct free energy device powered by old wive's tales?

Muahahahahahaha!!!! Muahahahahahahahaha!!!! Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah!!!!!

AKA_Bait
2014-03-13, 02:58 PM
Is that you Kefka?

It's just a flesh wound.

Socksy
2014-03-13, 03:27 PM
Another papercut?

Only because I truly love you! She was getting in the way of our happiness!!!

Dudeons
2014-03-13, 03:28 PM
Honey, why is the baby on fire?

And magic makes it all complete!

Passive Pete
2014-03-13, 07:27 PM
So we put the strawberry cupcakes around the ring like this. . . and the chocolate ones in the middle?

I'm sorry. . . I just felt compelled to ride a goose around in circles.

Recherché
2014-03-13, 08:10 PM
Who thought applying the dire template to farm animals was a good idea?

Nimirum didici potes!

Targ Collective
2014-03-13, 08:54 PM
What's a Latin phrase?

At last, with this spell, I can defeat the Dark One! Now, all I need is a silver thimble, the semen of a live, virgin octopus and a phial of ink. Thaumaturge! Fetch my ingredients!

Jester of Doom
2014-03-13, 09:22 PM
Sir, is this the Bigby's Backscratching Hand scroll you asked for?

I'll only do it if I get my 50%.

enderlord99
2014-03-13, 10:03 PM
Are you going to help me sell your left lung on the black market, leaving you alive but horribly crippled?

"Platipeople," I guess...

AKA_Bait
2014-03-14, 09:12 AM
We need another humanoid creature type for Fifth Edition, any ideas?

That's not a knife; this is a knife!

Dudeons
2014-03-14, 09:36 AM
OK, I have a +5 flaming dagger. Bet you can't beat that!

I call it Rule 34: The Musical!

Socksy
2014-03-14, 11:34 AM
A-are those... my parents?!

You forgot to carry the e^2t...

Eternis
2014-03-14, 08:59 PM
...I blew up half the known universe using nothing but a grain of sand and a magnet.
Okay.
My question is, why is there suddenly a puppy with tentacles in front of me?!

Hm... better than when you tried it with the pants.

Blood_caller
2014-03-15, 04:05 PM
Look at me, I can take of my glooves realy fast.

Go back to sleep its just a dream, Im not realy here.

Scarlet Knight
2014-03-16, 07:39 AM
Megan Fox? Is that you?


Rum, seashell bra, grass skirt, and limes.

Dudeons
2014-03-16, 09:18 AM
OK, what do I need for the costume party?

Sir, we have a 9-2-7 in the White House.

Socksy
2014-03-16, 11:30 AM
Did my Chinese food arrive yet, political henchman?

I think... We are all Lucy. Cause... There's a sky, and diamonds and... Stuff, dude. It's like we're in wonderland.

AKA_Bait
2014-03-16, 11:50 AM
Have you been dropping acid and reading Peanuts again?

By playing a game of Calvinball!

EmeraldRose
2014-03-16, 12:19 PM
How do you propose we solve the issue of World Apathy?

Anything is possible if you just believe.

ts20fan
2014-03-16, 07:51 PM
Do you believe I can eat Chuck Norris?

A black dragon, whose scales are not all shiny.

Targ Collective
2014-03-16, 08:07 PM
How can you tell the black dragon is not good-aligned?

Oh look, a penny. Oh look, another penny. Wow, lots of Gil. Even more Gil! Gil, gil, gil, hooray!

OH NO GILTURTLE

RUN

Blood_caller
2014-03-17, 02:46 AM
So after telling your ogre girlfriend that you broke up, what did you say that got you away alive?

A 10 foot high giant space hamster suit

Socksy
2014-03-17, 04:00 AM
What did you hack Baldur's Gate to make Minsc wear?

EEEEEEEEEEEK! SPIDER!

Eternis
2014-03-17, 04:08 AM
Hey! Check out what I found in our closet, sis!

...Whatever you do, do not drop it like it's hot.

Both of my posts have been directly beneath socksy. Coincidence? I think NOT.(Actually, it totally is, and it's freaking me out.
<.< >.< >.>

Socksy
2014-03-17, 04:16 AM
It's because I'm reverse-stalking you :smalltongue:

AKA_Bait
2014-03-17, 09:08 AM
What should I do with the baby?

Because it's St. Patrick's day.

EmeraldRose
2014-03-17, 09:25 AM
Is there a reason why my coffee is green?

It's a story of the true love found between a cat and a dog.

ts20fan
2014-03-17, 03:14 PM
What is the movie "Forbidden Love" about?

Because of emoticons:smallbiggrin:.

Blood_caller
2014-03-17, 05:59 PM
Why do you want to kill EmeraldRose

You can leave your hat on