View Full Version : TPAY/TPBY Reverse Questioning

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2014-08-11, 05:50 AM
What do you need to make an impression on your crush?


The tattered remains of a flag in the aftermath of a hurricane.

2014-08-11, 08:37 AM
Did you leave anything in the fridge?

Rain. Rain and humidity. And rain.

2014-08-11, 10:08 AM
So, what's the forecast this week Bob?

I'd have to say it was the time he gloated so hard he pulled a muscle.

2014-08-12, 09:16 PM
What was the most humorous moment on the Nale blooper reel?

Fish sauce. All the fish sauce.

2014-08-12, 10:59 PM
How did you get all the world's cats to come to you?

I saw it.

Targ Collective
2014-08-12, 11:06 PM
So why did you claw your eyes out again?

I think that plan is a little overcomplicated.

2014-08-13, 09:25 PM
Should I stitch your chest cavity closed?

A monk, a priest, and a pastor walk into a bar...

2014-08-13, 10:15 PM
A monk, another monk, and a man walk out.

Whoa! Where are they headed off to?

2014-08-14, 04:43 PM
Sir, i saw lungs walking down the road the other day.

What.. Whaaaa… i was in a padded room, with a man dressed all in pink banging his head on the ground and now i'm looking at and speaking to you a pile of flesh and bones my dinner, or is it a rainbow.

2014-08-14, 05:10 PM
Have you used any drugs in the past 24 hours?

Lather, rinse, and repeat.

2014-08-14, 08:06 PM
How does Ulysses survive there with naught but an armless trench coat? Did he enchant it with ruinous powers and armor it with the skulls of the slain?

The Viking at Stamford Bridge.

2014-08-15, 12:42 AM
What was the sequel to A Yankee in King Arthur's Court?

I . . . I'm not really sure that qualifies as "genetic engineering"!

2014-08-15, 02:38 AM
What do you mean reprogramming X/Y variables can't give me superpowers?

Robocop... in an Iron Man mask... wearing a mariachi hat... with a bow and arrow... and duck shoes.

2014-08-15, 06:01 AM
Hey... Just asking....
What are your fetishes?

As purple as a violet.

2014-08-15, 10:09 AM
What did your dessert taste like?

Because IKEA.

2014-08-15, 11:18 AM
Why are there five different piles of unassembled furniture in the living room?

My my...that's actually a very good question.

2014-08-15, 01:00 PM
If Train A leaves Chicago heading east at a velocity of 63 miles per hour, and Train B leaves New York heading west at a velocity of 45 miles per hour, do you like mudkips?

I . . . I don't even . . .

2014-08-15, 10:37 PM
Let's assume that the rate of gravity on this hypothetical planet we're talking about is the same as earth, so 9.8ms^-2, mmk? Now, if this ball of 600 cows, assuming the average cow weight is about 1250 kilograms, drops from a height of 2km up, EXCLUDING the obvious air resistance and therefore terminal velocity, it'll take them... roughly 20 seconds to fall. This means that when they hit the ground, they'll have been moving at a velocity of ROUGLY 200ms^-1. Now, how do we calculate the distribution of force, and therefore the splatter spread again?

F*cking half-orcs, nobody likes them!

((My thanks))

2014-08-15, 10:55 PM
Mommy, why don't you like quarter-orcs? Where do they even come from?

(acceleration is ms^-2, mate)

Santa shot first.

Laughing Dog
2014-08-16, 12:42 AM
Christmas is cancelled because why?

Many men died to preserve this secret, and so shall you.

2014-08-16, 11:49 AM
Is it true that Canada is secretly amassing an army of Curling Troopers with which to pave a worldwide empire in the blood of its enemies?

Seventeen-point-five seconds. Yup, that's a new record!

2014-08-16, 01:31 PM
How much time over the last month combined have you slept?

It has nothing to do with luck, and everything you can possibly imagine to do with sunglasses.

V: That is perfect. I applaud you, sir. :smallcool:

Targ Collective
2014-08-16, 01:37 PM
What is the source of my avvie's power? :p

Yep, that's what I did for my Birthday today.

2014-08-16, 01:43 PM
Would you care to explain the approximate metric ton of silly string that can now be found virtually everywhere in the house?

Because in approximately ninety seconds from now, NONE of anything we've done to this point will matter unless you wear that fedora!

2014-08-16, 04:13 PM
Could you explain to me again precisely how dressing up like Inspector Gadget will help me defuse this bomb?

It's in the bottom of that pool of lime Jell-O. It . . . seemed like a good idea at the time.

2014-08-16, 04:22 PM
Where did you put the priceless, one of a kind statue of Han Solo that I carved out of a sugar cube?

Well, I'm not exactly sure how it's supposed to go, but I think it has something to do with bubbles, fireworks, and kittens.

2014-08-16, 05:11 PM
How do you make a baby?

That's a bit of a loaded question, don't you think?

2014-08-17, 01:47 PM
Got milk?

Even in a world with all of that, YOU DO NOT MAKE SENSE!

2014-08-18, 01:26 AM
What happens when an unstoppable object meets an immovable force?

I'm hazy on the details, but it probably involves high fructose corn syrup.

2014-08-18, 08:26 AM
So how was your weekend?

One thing is for sure, don't burn your mouth on the pizza.

2014-08-22, 05:01 PM
Am I in The Matrix?


2014-08-22, 10:52 PM
Dear gods... It's the end of the world! Why did you launch all of our nuclear weapons at once?!

Only if played on a harp.

2014-08-23, 01:23 AM
Are you ready to ROCK?!?!?!?!?


2014-08-23, 07:01 AM
Augh, the walls are closing in on us! How will we ever get out of this one?!


Laughing Dog
2014-08-23, 10:55 AM
What is that?!

Batman vs Batman, of course.

2014-08-23, 12:11 PM
Any thoughts on a catchy title for our new DC vs. Major League Baseball series?

Three-bean soup and a truckload of industrial strength bungee, but for God's sake don't tell the Turks!

2014-08-23, 11:02 PM
What else do you need for your marriage proposal?

I'm gonna need two guns for this one.

2014-08-26, 03:53 PM
What was your foolproof plan for the BBQ again?

Pickles and chili.

2014-08-26, 04:42 PM
Which of the foods were poisoned this time?

I was on vacation at the time.

2014-08-26, 07:24 PM
Two-thirds of your class dropped out? What happened?

True story.

I dunno, you'll want to ask the guy with the suit and the ugly shoes.

2014-08-26, 07:58 PM
Is this place a secret Mafia hideout?

In a castle in the clouds.

2014-08-27, 05:22 AM
I was told there'd be a princess here. Now you're telling me she's somewhere else? Where is she?

It's a process that has been passed down through traditions for generations, dating back to at least 1653.

2014-08-27, 03:11 PM
How long has it been since you cut your toenails?

1 box of colored pencils, 2 highlighters, 4 jumbo glue sticks, 1 set thin color washable markers, 1 set thick color washable markers, full size box of kleenex tissues, 3 dozen sharpened pencils.

2014-08-27, 03:48 PM
Ugh...okay, what's left on the back to school supply list?

Because ALL the reasons. ALL of them.

2014-08-27, 04:02 PM
Why did little Suzie have to die?

Yeah, that only works in Europe.

2014-08-27, 04:14 PM
Did you really win the football game by having your entire team fake their deaths?

I tried, but she was too clever.

2014-08-27, 05:52 PM
So, let's hear it . . . did you steal the candy from that baby or not?

George Washington Carver.

2014-08-27, 06:21 PM
Who is to blame for all of the allergy deaths that have happened recently?

Come on, let's try it.

2014-08-28, 02:33 PM
Are you sure you want to eat peanut butter and jellied eels?


2014-08-28, 02:36 PM
What did you use to transmit the mind-control agents?

Things would be too complicated if I didn't.

2014-08-29, 01:14 AM
Did you have to crack a hole in the space-time continuum again?!

With extreme prejudice.

2014-08-29, 02:12 PM
Did you come from the '60s?

I'm gonna rock you. Like a hurricane.

2014-08-29, 02:20 PM
How much evil can you really do with nothing but a cordless mic and an 80's Karaoke tape?

The pool needs cleaning.

2014-08-31, 06:24 PM
what do you usually say after killing someone?

of course, how else would i get superpowers?

2014-08-31, 07:30 PM
Gabriel... did you... did you eat that guy's brain?

Depends. If it rains tomorrow, yes. If not, then no.

2014-09-01, 02:45 PM
Do you mind if I TP your house tonight?

Absolutely, unequivocably yes. Wait, what was the question again?

2014-09-01, 03:01 PM
Would you like a cup of cyanide tea?

I don't know. Ask the Prime Minister.

Laughing Dog
2014-09-02, 09:36 AM
Short fork or Long Fork for dining on elf?

Meow. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuiIu3YNeiU)

2014-09-02, 02:02 PM
How are you going to explain to your cat that you really want to get a dog?

Stagger stagger, crawl, stagger, crawl.

2014-09-02, 02:22 PM
What movement patterns will let me sneak past the zombie hordes?

Soak it in salt water for a while.

2014-09-02, 03:03 PM
How do I get bloodstains out of chain armor?

One, two, three, JUMP!

2014-09-02, 08:03 PM
How did you reach that conclusion, exactly?

Through the power of positive thinking!

2014-09-02, 08:37 PM
How did you manage to collect so many metal ions?

It's probably someone else's. Pay it no mind.

2014-09-02, 08:57 PM
Does that skull belong here?

That's what we spent the record company advance on.

2014-09-03, 09:08 PM
Why is the closet filled with Girl Scout cookies?

I love you.

2014-09-03, 09:56 PM
Do you love me?

We were just following orders.

2014-09-04, 08:23 PM
What on earth possessed you to torch that orphanage?

Hashtag yolo. That is all.

2014-09-05, 08:53 AM
Do you have any last words before being executed for your overuse of "hashtags"?

Purple. Wait! Green! No...definitely yellow.

2014-09-05, 01:42 PM
Before we start, what color do you think that wobbly bit is?

It's not me, it's her.

2014-09-05, 02:00 PM
Which one of you two is the shapeshifting spy?

A pillowcase, naturally.

2014-09-05, 02:49 PM
How are you going to carry all that loot?

Here's a spade, now start digging.

2014-09-05, 04:14 PM
You've done nothing but belittle me and every suggestion I've made on this entire treasure hunt! Just why did you even bring me along, anyway?!

Pfft, a zombie that became a zombie from a disease isn't a true "undead".

2014-09-05, 06:11 PM
Wasn't World War Z a great movie?

Because free beer.

2014-09-06, 12:23 AM
Why are you encouraging our son to join the Mafia?!?!?!?

Everyone who knew the answer to that question died of mysterious causes last week.

2014-09-06, 12:09 PM
Wait, if you're not a EMT, then what were you doing at all those murder scenes?

The Fabulous Custodes.

2014-09-06, 04:16 PM
Wait! If you're at the bank, then who's that cleaning out your room?

No, I kill the bus driver!

2014-09-06, 04:30 PM
Okay so it's: You plant the bomb, I hook up the remote control, and Targ Collective kills the bus driver, right?

(Attention any government ppls: I AM KIDDING. If you take this out of context I swear I will sue the underwear off of Uncle Sam.)

2014-09-06, 04:31 PM
Quick! A bus is barreling through an intersection, unaware of the elderly man crossing the street right in front of it. Simultaneously, a mugger is taking a young lady's handbag and a small beagle is sniffing curiously at some green goo that leaked from a biohazard container. Do you: A. rescue the old man, B. knock the mugger out cold with a roundhouse kick, or C. get that pesky beagle away from your dinner?

Frankly, my dam, I don't give a deer.

Edit: swordsage'd! Since TPAM didn't post an answer though, feel free to question mine. :smallbiggrin:

2014-09-06, 05:53 PM
How are the new prescription meds working for you?

Just throw it out the window.

2014-09-07, 08:18 PM
How should I dispose of this weapons-grade plutonium?

It was a mistake. I thought it was a lion.

2014-09-08, 04:15 PM
Why did you yell at me to get in the car?

It's not like we're in a hurry or anything.

2014-09-08, 06:42 PM
Could you please just finish my root canal before you go home?

Personally I prefer rickshaws, but whatever floats your boat.

2014-09-09, 07:09 AM
Don't you think jet packs would be the coolest way ever to get from point A to point B?

Honestly, I think that's a terrible idea. You should use a bald-headed eagle instead.

2014-09-09, 09:02 AM
What happens when you cross a monkey with a turtle?

Ten was the best.

2014-09-09, 10:02 AM
Why don't you turn it up to 11?

The cardboard box was the best part.

2014-09-09, 10:39 AM
What did your cat think of the fancy, expensive toy you got her?

Ask your mother.

2014-09-09, 10:51 AM
Daddy do you love me?

because of relativity

2014-09-09, 01:49 PM
Why do I feel younger when I drive really fast?

With lasers.

2014-09-09, 04:29 PM
How are you going to top Darth Vader's birthday cake?

I'm OK! Just give me a minute.

2014-09-14, 10:50 AM
How are you going to top Darth Vader's birthday cake?

I'm OK! Just give me a minute.

What are you doing in there? Are you ok, should I come in?

2014-09-14, 12:11 PM
Are you ever going to answer this?

Yes, and I'd gladly do it again.

2014-09-14, 02:44 PM
Is it true that you shot the sheriff but utterly failed to shoot the deputy?!

Because science.

Angsty Anubite
2014-09-14, 03:55 PM
Why did you burn our school's Biology textbooks?

It was for the children.

Scarlet Knight
2014-09-14, 04:06 PM
Why is there a moat around you house?

The sky was yellow and the sun was blue.

2014-09-14, 04:46 PM
F?! How could my drawing possibly be an F?!

I don't know, I don't want to know, NOBODY should want to know!

2014-09-14, 05:10 PM
F?! How could my drawing possibly be an F?!

I don't know, I don't want to know, NOBODY should want to know!

just how fat is she!?:smalltongue:

I love triangles, and squares, and hexagons, and rectangles........................................ ..............

2014-09-14, 05:41 PM
How could you get yourself caught up in a love triangle?

Mostly the cream-filled ones.

Angsty Anubite
2014-09-14, 11:39 PM
What kind of twinkies do you think you eat the most?

It imploded and flew into the sun.

2014-09-15, 11:17 AM
Why is your car over the line?

I did it myself. In the middle of the Australian Outback. While fighting dingoes. WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!

2014-09-15, 11:28 AM
Dude, where'd you get this painting of a guy fighting dingoes with a box of scraps in the middle of the Australian Outback?

WE ARE DA EMPRAS FUREH-no wait, I'm sorry, no we're not.

2014-09-15, 03:35 PM
Why are there a bunch of people dressed like emo's outside?

Satanism, just satanism

2014-09-15, 04:22 PM

I nuked it

2014-09-15, 04:26 PM
What happened to the TV dinner I was planning to eat tonight?

That would only make it stronger.

2014-09-15, 05:01 PM
Should leftover broccoli be heated before serving?

Left at the first star, then straight on until morning.

2014-09-15, 05:04 PM
How can I get to grandmothers house?


2014-09-15, 05:10 PM
So who's your new boyfriend?

I swam there

2014-09-15, 05:53 PM
What were you even doing on Iwo Jima?

Steal rain.

2014-09-15, 11:15 PM
What is the most vital survival technique for any desert-dwelling scoundrel?

Yeah, but Tesla did it first.

2014-09-16, 12:46 AM
Did you see that‽ He just caught a thunderbolt!


Angsty Anubite
2014-09-16, 01:50 AM
Why are we yelling?!?! What!??! What did you say?!?!

Do whatever you want with it, I swore off that stuff years ago.

2014-09-16, 07:18 AM
I'm making coffee, you want some?

You ask a lot of questions, citizen.

2014-09-16, 08:29 AM
I'm making coffee, you want some?

You ask a lot of questions, citizen.

Why did the secret police take away those people?

I dont know, go ask someone else.

2014-09-16, 08:46 AM
What is the meaning of life?

Glory to Arstotzka

2014-09-16, 09:32 AM
Do you have any final words of testimony before your trial?

One fish, two fish, purple, green, and gold.

2014-09-16, 10:49 AM
*hums a tune* do you remember the nursery rhyme that went with that?


Angsty Anubite
2014-09-16, 03:23 PM
Hey man, what are hot dogs made out of?

Don't make me relapse!

2014-09-16, 03:48 PM
Hey, I'm screening a Spongebob marathon at my house. Wanna come?

By the power of Greyskull!!!

2014-09-16, 06:03 PM
What were the first words of that weird chant again?

I most certainly do not

2014-09-16, 08:20 PM
What were the first words of that weird chant again?

I most certainly do not

Do you have mad skills?


2014-09-17, 07:21 AM
If Godzilla and a power outlet had a baby, what would you name it?


2014-09-17, 09:05 AM
What did the Halfling sound like as it ran by being chased by a Dragon?

Seven minutes.

2014-09-17, 10:53 AM
what was your time for the 100 meter dash?

I dropped a mountain on it

2014-09-17, 11:02 AM
Our pan-galactic audience desperately wants to know, how did you manage to rid your home world of that pesky Alien vs. Predator infestation?

It's only the most important rule of dreaming.

2014-09-17, 11:08 AM
Why do we have to go to sleep NOW?!?!

A squid.

2014-09-17, 11:16 AM
Calimari? Wtf is that made of?

The answer to that is impossible for any mere mortal to comprehend.

2014-09-17, 12:29 PM
Whats 18/3?

Your very soul

2014-09-17, 12:37 PM
How much will a night on the town in San Francisco set me back?

It sounds eerily like frying bacon.

2014-09-17, 12:41 PM
Did you get the new Skrillex album?

Imma deck you in the schnoz!

2014-09-17, 01:22 PM
What're you goanna do to stop me?

that'll be 987,543,210 platinum.

2014-09-17, 01:23 PM
How much for this apple?


2014-09-17, 01:32 PM
What would you say to an all expense paid trip to your favorite Con?

Water and ghost peppers.

2014-09-17, 01:46 PM
What would you say to an all expense paid trip to your favorite Con?

Water and ghost peppers.

How did you make his stomach implode?

No power in the universe can stop us now?

2014-09-17, 02:09 PM
What cheesy one-liner should we say after we activate the Doomsday Machine (TM)?

I chucked that worthless thing in the trash.

2014-09-17, 02:22 PM
Has anyone seen my Infinity Stone?

That's all that's on the news.

2014-09-17, 06:23 PM
Did you hear about the ebola outbreak?

A man with no arms

2014-09-17, 06:29 PM
Assuming you don't want to be a jackass, who's the last person you should offer a high five to?

Baked in a casserole, so no one's the wiser.

2014-09-17, 06:52 PM
And you're SURE he'll never know what happened to his pet gerbil?

The only way I can possibly answer that is by not even answering.

Scarlet Knight
2014-09-17, 10:12 PM
Can you sing "The Sound of Silence"?

Centaurs at a wedding.

2014-09-18, 07:50 AM
What is the name of the new Samuel L Jackson movie?

We can't help it, that's just part of the program's main function.

2014-09-18, 08:11 AM
Why is it our new AI does nothing but stream porn sites?

It somehow ended up imploding and forming a black hole.

2014-09-18, 11:40 AM
Dude, where's my car?

13 chickens, 4 dogs, 60 gerbils, and a rhinoceros

2014-09-18, 12:34 PM
So, including the gerbil farm, what pets do you currently own?

The aliens are turning into zombies.

2014-09-18, 05:58 PM
What's so bad about us being rescued by superpowered space aliens?

Just keep swinging.

2014-09-18, 06:16 PM
I'm nailed to this swing, what should I do?


Laughing Dog
2014-09-18, 06:45 PM
What's a five letter word for rotting?

Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, and I forgot the rest.

2014-09-18, 07:08 PM
Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?

It was a dark and stormy night.

2014-09-18, 09:01 PM
Do you really expect me to believe that you saw and heard nothing while your next-door-neighbor was being murdered?

I'd like a beer.

2014-09-18, 09:33 PM
Welcome to the AA meet! Can I get you anything?

Teriyaki sauce makes everything better.

2014-09-18, 10:10 PM
Are you sure I don't need to go to the hospital?

He punched out ALL my blood!

2014-09-18, 11:40 PM
What did shrek do again?

3 elephants, 14 clowns, 2 ostriches, and a thermonuclear bomb

Angsty Anubite
2014-09-19, 12:53 AM
What's it say in the cookbook about a recipe for disaster?

You always say no. Always. Say. NO.

2014-09-19, 07:10 AM
Why did you have to go ask the Vampire Lord if you could kill everyone instead of me?


2014-09-19, 08:08 AM
What wondrous substance does your time machine run on?

He doesn't come around any more, not since the Cinnabun Incident.

2014-09-19, 11:21 AM
Whatever happened to Gabriel Iglesias? He was funny!

That's not the cake recipe--that's the recipe for Noodle Implement Soup!

2014-09-19, 03:59 PM
Why on earth does this cake recipe call for so many daggers, pitchforks, and sewing needles?

Thirty-seven, same as Samuel L. Jackson.

2014-09-19, 09:10 PM
Whats the magic number?

Angsty Anubite
2014-09-20, 01:49 AM
How did you get your mouth sewn shut?

It wasn't me, it was the boogeyman!

2014-09-20, 10:39 AM
Who won the dance-off?

The house is upside down, literally!

2014-09-20, 11:11 AM
Why do you need to borrow my anti-gravity gauntlets?

The squirrels are coming! Run for your lives!

2014-09-20, 12:39 PM
Whoa, why are you running?

It comes and goes.

2014-09-20, 02:27 PM
Whoa, why are you running?

It comes and goes.

Where is Cthulhu?

Math songs of course!

Scarlet Knight
2014-09-20, 04:59 PM
Why is the violinist using a ruler instead of a bow?

Shiver me timbers!

2014-09-20, 05:26 PM
Are you aware it's forty degrees below optimal temperature in this lumberyard?

It's hopeless. He shows all the telltale symptoms of hypochondria.

Septimus Faber
2014-09-21, 04:18 PM
Please explain just why my husband barricaded himself inside the potting-shed with a bottle of disinfectant and a months's supply of Amaretti biscuits.

Yes, but the graphics drivers are now self-aware.

2014-09-21, 04:28 PM
Wasn't this comic book supposed to be animated?

It all started one day last year, a little earlier than usual, thanks to the malfunctioning alarm clock wars.

2014-09-21, 04:38 PM
Is it story time?

That belongs on a tee shirt.

2014-09-21, 06:26 PM
What do you think of this picture of my baby?


2014-09-21, 07:34 PM
What do you think of this tee shirt with a picture of a baby on it?

Only in Surinam.

2014-09-21, 11:52 PM
Have you ever met any Surinamese people?

Not if the king himself ordered me to.

Angsty Anubite
2014-09-22, 12:30 AM
Will you ever shave your beard?

Ya'll just been Loki'd.

2014-09-22, 09:06 AM
Why did you say Loki was over here? you got all of us to look.

The square root of -4

2014-09-22, 09:48 AM
Why did you say Loki was over here? you got all of us to look.

The square root of -4

What does the letter i mean?

30,000 bad muffins!

2014-09-22, 10:42 AM
The muffin factory closed down? Why? O_O

Everybody do the flop!

2014-09-22, 11:38 AM
Are you really qualified to teach modern dance?

The ice cream has its own agenda.

2014-09-22, 02:55 PM
What's with that maniacal laughter coming from the Baskin Robbins?

If you have to ask, you really don't want to know.

2014-09-22, 05:32 PM
Where is the bathroom?

Why would you ask my that?

2014-09-22, 07:10 PM
can you answer my question with a question?

He said "I am going to destroy you." and the rest is history

Angsty Anubite
2014-09-22, 07:18 PM
How did the fourth Harry Potter book end again?

Try again in the next 100 years or so.

2014-09-23, 06:15 AM
Can you believe they denied me the senior discount at Denny's?

On July 24, 2043, at 6:57:04 pm. Give or take a decade.

2014-09-23, 11:11 AM
Will you marry me?

He's running around with no pants.

2014-09-23, 11:26 AM
Where are my keys?

I AM an adult!

2014-09-23, 06:26 PM
Are you an adult?


2014-09-23, 06:44 PM
Is that Chuck Testa in my bed?

Pixie dust. Lots of pixie dust.

Angsty Anubite
2014-09-23, 07:02 PM
How are we going to reduce fuel consumption for these fighter planes?

The simple solution is because I'm Batman!

2014-09-23, 08:03 PM
How did you manage to solve the puzzle and escape that fiendishly clever deathtrap?

I dunno, they were just a bunch of creepy crawly things.

2014-09-23, 08:10 PM
Surely escaping the villain's deathtrap could have a more simple solution than this?

Repeat to the court one more time what you saw after the containment seal breached?

I'm sorry, your answer was NOT supposed to be in the form of a question. This isn't Jeopardy, you know.

Targ Collective
2014-09-23, 09:36 PM
Not guilty?

I think you're a little young for that. You should learn to walk first.

2014-09-23, 10:03 PM
How do I get a wheelchair?

This must register on an emotional level.

2014-09-23, 11:35 PM
How could you not notice I'm eight months pregnant?!

We must settle this with that most ancient and honorable of ritual battles, Rock'em Sock'em Robots!

2014-09-24, 07:44 AM
Who gets the last donut?

One day, there was one cup. The next day, there were two. From there, it was exponential...

2014-09-24, 10:24 AM
Have you always been addicted to coffee?

It's like it was tatooed on his forehead.

2014-09-24, 06:57 PM
Did Andre the Giant always have that bruise on his head from running into doorways?

That never happened and you can't prove it was me!

2014-09-24, 11:35 PM
What about the noodle incident?

Illusionary air.

2014-09-25, 09:34 AM
What keeps the bird up?

Chocolate and roses.

2014-09-25, 09:59 AM
What should we offer in our next sacrifice to the Unholy Dark One, Destroyer Of All The Good And Light?

He just got "The Talk". This will surely not end well.

2014-09-25, 10:49 AM
Why did Jim pour a cup of coffee with sugar in it?

Route 7.

2014-09-25, 02:14 PM
For the last time, I don't want the road to VIRIDIAN City, I want the road to CYLLAGE City! From Camphrier Town--now which one is it?!

Oh sure, YOU try finding a better use for a pogo stick, a box of catherine wheel fireworks and a half-ton of cream cheese!

2014-09-25, 02:36 PM
You think you're a competent adult? Don't you remember what happened during the Noodle Incident?

It didn't work out. I got caught.

2014-09-25, 04:28 PM
So how'd your plot to kill the headmaster and secretly take their place without anyone catching on go?

Forget it, it's a total loss.

2014-09-25, 05:22 PM
Do we have enough body parts to try a resurrection?

At least a thousand pounds.

2014-09-25, 07:55 PM
How many Milky Way bars does your average gamer consume in a decade?

Mayday! Mayday! Abandon ship!

2014-09-25, 08:54 PM
Someone shot our car with a spitball, what should we do?

Think of the children.

2014-09-25, 09:50 PM


2014-09-26, 10:55 AM
who is the creepiest villain in a children's TV show?


2014-09-26, 11:12 AM
How many times have you gone to the bathroom today?

He ate the star.

2014-09-26, 03:11 PM
Where did the star go?

Reverse Questioning.

2014-09-26, 05:49 PM
Why are you answering my questions before I ask them?


2014-09-27, 03:51 AM
Why is something just not adding up?

Terror. Pure, unadulterated terror.

2014-09-27, 04:09 AM
What kind of expression do you have on your driver's license?

My body is ready!

2014-09-27, 10:18 AM
Would you follow me, test subject A0112-4?


2014-09-27, 10:21 AM
Hey, who turned off the lights?

Now you don't.

2014-09-27, 08:38 PM
Excuse me, do I look like someone who's about to break his vow of silence?! *goes wide-eyed and clamps hands over mouth*

I blame the President.

2014-09-27, 10:20 PM
Did someone forget to water the flowers?

Three of clubs.

2014-09-27, 10:45 PM
What is that card?


2014-09-28, 03:35 PM
What gender are you?

Me, Myself, and I

2014-09-28, 05:11 PM
Who are your three top picks for Supreme Overlord of Earth?

That's a terrible, horrible idea. Let's do it.

2014-09-29, 01:25 PM
why don't you just jump off a cliff?

By the power of Grayskull

2014-09-29, 02:25 PM
My battle cry is "Spooooon!" - what's yours?

Fifteen men on a dead man's chest.

2014-09-29, 03:54 PM
What's your favorite song?

Ja, ich sprache Deutsch.

2014-09-30, 09:15 AM
Können Sie mich verstehen?

I walk alone.

2014-09-30, 09:30 AM
Why don't you want to be in the parade?

An unmarked grave.

2014-09-30, 10:37 AM
Where do I take used textbooks to get rid of them once and for all?

Hey, they started it.

2014-10-01, 05:39 AM
Could you please stop speaking German?

It's been a rule since 1937, but it's rarely enforced.

2014-10-01, 01:42 PM
Why don't things we buy last as long as they used to?

Enough paper towels to soak up the Nile River.

2014-10-01, 02:47 PM
Wait, what did you want me to pick up again for your evil plan, boss?

That would be why they're called "one-armed bandits."

2014-10-02, 07:23 AM
Didja think those robbers had any idea they were threatening the kingdom's greatest swordsman?

Years and years of discord.

V I'd like to thank the Academy... and all the little people.

2014-10-02, 07:49 AM
Orm-Embar! Orm-Embar! Can you tell us the number one reason for your success as a celebrity chef/musician/reality TV star?

2014-10-02, 10:04 AM
Do you have anything to say for yourself?


2014-10-02, 05:17 PM
All right, who brought that Ebola into the country?

Because it's laundry day.

Targ Collective
2014-10-03, 01:47 AM
What is that smell of soap about?

Noooo, nooooo, noooooo.... Alright yes.

2014-10-03, 04:00 AM
Are you a brony?

Because it's more fun on the floor.

2014-10-03, 08:06 AM
Why don't you roll dice on the table?

After that, everything was kind of a blur.

2014-10-03, 08:06 AM
Is there a reason why you're not sitting on the couch to play video games?

Someday you will know.

2014-10-03, 01:29 PM
Mommy, why are you taking my dice to bed with you?

If we could just round up the malcontents of Glasglow into one big army, then I think we'd have a chance!

2014-10-03, 03:39 PM
Do you think they'll ever remake Braveheart?

That's slanderous and off-base, and I resent the implications!

2014-10-03, 05:18 PM
Hey, weren't you in Guardians of the Galaxy?

... You're a jerk.

2014-10-03, 07:11 PM
Did you get that package I sent you?

I don't care, and there's no reason anyone else should either.

2014-10-04, 01:52 PM
Why is no one else trying to help me stop the universe from imploding on itself?

Not even industrial strength bleach is getting those stains out.

2014-10-04, 02:47 PM
From the look in your eyes, you went ahead and watched the Twilight movie marathon, didn't you?

One of these days you're going to die laughing!

2014-10-04, 06:04 PM
What should we inscribe on Christopher Lloyd's tombstone?

That's what they call me.

2014-10-04, 06:09 PM
Why does your locker have "Loser" on it in spray paint?


2014-10-04, 06:16 PM
Have you ever played "Five Nights at Freddy's"?

My prescription ran out yesterday.

Targ Collective
2014-10-05, 12:52 AM
Okay. I see.. pentagrams in blood. Ram skulls. Looks like you've let a black cockerel into the house. And let's see OH MY GOD YELLOW AND PURPLE ICHOR WHY THOSE COLOURS????

Yes! No! Maybe! Yes! No! Maybe! OhmygodIcan'tdecide!

2014-10-05, 03:27 AM
Is dancing Groot cuter than four assassin kitties?

So long as it would fit in my backpack, yeah.

Laughing Dog
2014-10-05, 02:55 PM
Would you mind disposing this unstable warp core for me?

That is a lot of wolves.

2014-10-05, 03:30 PM
What's the last thing a lost reindeer says?

Hey, it works in the movies.

2014-10-05, 08:07 PM
Why won't this katana cut through the lock of this bank vault?

Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle. That or leprechauns.

2014-10-06, 07:52 AM
Hey, why's my sandwich gone?!

Dude, it eats souls!

2014-10-06, 11:06 AM
A car that gets 500 miles to the gallon? What's the catch?

It exploded so violently they're still cleaning up pieces of it all over town.

Passive Pete
2014-10-06, 02:57 PM
Hey, where'd the DM go? I was just leveling up my Kobold Divine Minion 1 / Wizard 1 / Master of Many Forms 3...

It's not my fault blenders are made like that!