View Full Version : TPAY/TPBY Reverse Questioning

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2014-10-06, 03:53 PM
Are there chunks of gravel in this smoothie?

Hard starboard and on til midnight.

2014-10-06, 04:14 PM
You there! Boy! Which way to Disneyland?

It's not my fault they've never won!

2014-10-06, 05:10 PM
So, just what IS with those Besaid Aurochs anyway?

I suppose then we really could call it FINAL Fantasy.

2014-10-06, 06:45 PM
Did they ever say what will happen when the next FF is released and it precipitated Ragnarok?

Someday my prints will come.

2014-10-07, 04:17 PM
Any word from forensics on that broken wine bottle?

The short answer is: due to a quantum overload in the phase induction loop, we lost all power to the polyhedral inhibitors, causing a cascade failure of the microencephalon's poly-decaffeinator, thereby destabilizing the entire bovine defecation subsystem.

2014-10-07, 04:24 PM
Exactly how high are you right now?

A pyramid made of out crystals.

2014-10-08, 12:05 AM
What do you think a polite gift to send to Cleopatra would be?

Yes, but if I did that I would lose all my socks.

2014-10-10, 09:23 AM
Hey, want to help me test my clothing disintegration ray?

It was yesterday. There were no survivors.

2014-10-10, 10:08 AM
So, did you ever try out your gasoline-and-a-box-of-matches idea on your little flea infestation problem?

That's what a collection of rocks is for.

2014-10-10, 10:31 AM
Is there a reason why my bag is so heavy?

It just sort of...happened.

2014-10-10, 02:43 PM
Would you care to explain to me why New Jersey is now an immense crater lake filled with an army of mutant sea monkeys?

Okay, yes, I may have been involved . . . but it was Martha Stewart's fault!

2014-10-10, 05:16 PM
Who was the genius who decided to repaint the command center for my doomsday machine bright pastels?!

Shoot it in the head!

2014-10-11, 12:40 AM
We're out of targets to practice at the firing range, but we do have a lettuce. What should we do?

Yes, but if you did that they would never let you into Disneyland again.

Scarlet Knight
2014-10-11, 07:07 PM
Do you think I can fill my teacup with tea?

"And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck..."

2014-10-11, 09:28 PM
What did you say that made the aliens decide to destroy the universe?

It all comes down to the theory and practice of the everyday Grammar Nazi.

2014-10-12, 11:04 AM

Ideally I'd like to see more flesh-eating termites, but I suppose it will have to do.

2014-10-13, 08:47 AM
What do you think of my idea of a movie with an outbreak of rampaging, homicidal sloths?

It must be at least considered to be one of the key moments in sports of all time.

2014-10-13, 01:55 PM
did you catch the WNBA game last night?

I hid it...in places...:smalleek:

2014-10-13, 03:16 PM
Okay...what did you do with my video game collection?! :smallfurious:

Like that mountain over there?
Let's see if I can get a theme going here...

2014-10-13, 05:36 PM
Have you ever seen an erupting volcano up close?

Bill Gates paid me good money to say yes.

2014-10-13, 09:35 PM

Just jiggle it a little, and Bob's your uncle.

Targ Collective
2014-10-14, 04:37 AM
What phrase brings the most disturbing images into your mind?


2014-10-14, 02:55 PM
What is your favourite method of preparing bacon?

Lunars are not furries!

2014-10-14, 03:41 PM
Why won't you let us perform "What Does the Fox Say" for the divine emissary?

An electronic drum set, fourteen strips of bacon, and a live diamondback rattlesnake.

2014-10-14, 05:40 PM
What did you bring for the party?


2014-10-14, 05:45 PM
Can I ask you a question?

That's not a fact, that's speculation.

2014-10-14, 08:15 PM
Didn't I hear somewhere that you are actually not always online?


Laughing Dog
2014-10-14, 08:22 PM
When will the coffee be done brewing?

She said, "Soon"

2014-10-14, 08:29 PM
Did she say when the coffee would be done brewing?

I blame fluorescent light bulbs.

2014-10-15, 02:15 AM
Why is it so dark in here?


2014-10-15, 07:39 AM
Do you have a special name for your privates?

A nuclear launch originating from Antarctica would likely leave the entire world perplexed, if you ask me. No one would expect it.

2014-10-15, 07:59 AM
Do you have an idea for the next big party we throw?

Angels and violets. Maybe a coin or two.

2014-10-15, 09:54 AM
Anybody know what goes into making Angel Surprise Cake?

Build the walls higher, and be quick about it.

2014-10-15, 12:53 PM
What would be the most ineffectual defence against flying enemies?

Faster than light.

Septimus Faber
2014-10-15, 03:32 PM
In terms of quantum physics, describe how these questions go.

Five pints of bitter, a used postage stamp, a Trident missile and an identity crisis.

2014-10-16, 01:08 AM
"So how was your day?"

If you don't mind never being able to eat pickles again.

2014-10-16, 07:10 AM
I noticed that there weren't any more pickles in the fridge, so you don't mind that I grab your last one?

Some say he breeds pet Porsches, and that he once killed a rabbit just by looking at it.

2014-10-16, 08:33 AM
What can you tell me about Haruki-Kun?

But it was a royal flush!

2014-10-16, 10:21 AM
Why did you dump your winning poker hand in the toilet?

Damn it, I'm a doctor, not a detective!

2014-10-16, 02:00 PM
What killed him?

Peanut butter and bananas.

2014-10-17, 06:38 PM
What would you use to fix this radiator leak?

Ridiculous! He was clearly Bulgarian!

2014-10-17, 09:01 PM
Would you say this rhinoceros was from Sumatra, or Java?

A beard so big, birds live in it.

2014-10-17, 10:05 PM
What would you like us to plant in your backyard, sir?

I'm sorry, I don't play Pokemon.

2014-10-18, 01:48 AM
Hey, did you see that game last night?

Yes; rather sunny.

2014-10-18, 02:01 AM
Are you certain that you adequately assessed his disposition?

Duct tape, fresh spinach, and a fetal hamster.

2014-10-18, 09:28 AM
Just how do you plan on capturing Popeye?

NO! No I won't sing with you next time, gosh darnit!

2014-10-18, 04:00 PM
Would you join me for a duet of Total Eclipse of the Heart on karaoke night?

With a ten-minute tambourine solo.

2014-10-18, 04:41 PM
How did you enter the party?

You know the answer. You just don't want to admit it.

2014-10-18, 05:53 PM
But if you're really a woman, then what does that make me?

Fire, and lots of it.

2014-10-20, 05:19 AM
What would be your first solution for extraction when finding out that a spider had burrowed in under your skin like that Australian guy?

Travis never found out if lying when he was 17 caused it to rain on him all the time.

2014-10-20, 03:47 PM
What do you have to say for yourself, Mr. Sheen?

Only if it's entirely in iambic pentameter.

2014-10-20, 06:15 PM
What do you consider to be pure poetry.

well I was walking along then BOOOOM!!! and now I'm here

2014-10-20, 07:34 PM
Can you explain screen transitions the way Michael Bay explained them?

Try working the shaft.

2014-10-20, 09:23 PM
Hi, I'm here to repair your elevator. Any idea what went wrong with it?

You'd have a lot of problems with making popcorn.

Targ Collective
2014-10-21, 04:11 PM
[twitch... twitch] The popping... Always the popping... Poppity, poppity, pop... [twitch... twitch]

You might think so, but it's not actually all that bad... Some even think it invigorating!

2014-10-21, 04:26 PM
Isn't ice swimming generally unhealthy?


2014-10-21, 04:27 PM
Was that even a question? :smallbiggrin:

(Ninja'd by the Coffee Queen!)

How do you CIA types pick out the double agents?

Put simply, we'll have to drown it in toothpaste.

2014-10-22, 04:20 PM
I'm not quite clear on your plan here, General. In layman's terms, what are you saying we'll need to do to defeat the alien threat?

Because it was undeniably wearing Aunt Tillie's bloomers.

Scarlet Knight
2014-10-22, 07:00 PM
"How can you be so sure your Aunt's a werewolf?"

Election Day.

2014-10-22, 10:09 PM
When do we elect the president?

Floss, fire, and poetry.

2014-10-23, 07:34 AM
What would you say are the three most important things in the development of humanity as we know it today?

Sean Plott, Rosanna Pansino and Felicia Day, with a dash of Wil Wheaton.

2014-10-23, 01:13 PM
How would you describe your ideal pet?

One thing is for certain, it isn't very warm here.

2014-10-23, 02:04 PM
How's the vacuum of deep space treating you these days?

To start with, we'll need a gallon of Nutella and the keys to the South African ambassador's moped.

2014-10-23, 03:06 PM
If you're planning a heist, shouldn't you have a complex plot geared to run like a Swiss watch?

Twenty fathoms deep, wrapped in a spare anchor chain, and probably eaten away by crabs at this point.

2014-10-24, 12:32 PM
Where the heck did Bob get to?

Because I am SICK of everyone treating Reverse Questioning as The Noodle Implement Game!

2014-10-24, 01:00 PM
Why so many :smallfurious:?

Some days you just want to beat it with a stick.

2014-10-24, 01:27 PM
Your egg beater doesn't look so good. Does it give you problems?

I'm afraid I cannot let you do that.

2014-10-24, 04:13 PM
Can I haz hugs?

Hmmm... needs more bass.

2014-10-24, 05:01 PM
How's the fish soup?

No thank you, I have a penguin.

2014-10-24, 05:35 PM
Can I interest you in a puffin or two?

Make stew from what's left over.

2014-10-24, 05:41 PM
What exactly am I supposed to do with all these nails?

First, I was afraid. I was petrified.

2014-10-24, 06:37 PM
How did you survive?

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.

2014-10-24, 11:08 PM
What are your two favorite compliments? :P

That question.

2014-10-24, 11:53 PM
What do you hate being asked more than anything?

You can, but it's too much cookie and not enough chocolate.

2014-10-25, 08:41 AM
Can I offer you a job with an impressive-sounding title, even if it comes with no more authority than you already have and probably less pay too?

The directions say to light all the candles first, but, and this is important, not the green ones.

2014-10-25, 09:51 AM
What else was in that little booklet that came along with your mogwai?

Sir Elton John's magnificent glasses, of course.

2014-10-25, 10:56 AM
What is the source of that wondrous light?


2014-10-25, 11:00 AM
Can you wink?

I think only in Antarctica.

Laughing Dog
2014-10-26, 02:24 AM
Do you know where I could find some Dilithium at this hour?

Ice, unless you are fighting Steel.

2014-10-27, 07:42 PM
What opponent has a weakness to Vanilla?

Use more gun. And sprinkle in some dakka.

2014-10-28, 11:36 AM
What could make this awesome party any better?

I sure am. That's what worries me.

2014-10-28, 04:32 PM
Did you ever think you might be worrying too much?

There's a big-block engine with your name on it.

2014-10-28, 05:20 PM
You got any new parts for the General Lee?

Pure, blinding fury incarnate.

2014-10-29, 06:27 AM
Out of curiosity, how would you respond to a run-of-the-mill office prank?

I've never done anything like that, to be honest.

2014-10-30, 11:04 AM
What will it cost to get you to run around the world twice?

Sometimes it seems a little fire.

2014-10-30, 11:26 AM
So, how about that weather?

I didn't do it, and if I did do it, I didn't know I could do it until I did it!

Targ Collective
2014-10-30, 06:45 PM

Because we've all seen how terrifying EmeraldRose is without coffee.

2014-10-30, 10:50 PM
It's four in the morning, why did you drive to the grocery store at this hour?

Try taking it apart to see if you can find the issue.

2014-10-31, 08:53 AM
Do you know what could cause my laptop to give me an electric shock every time I try to use the Caps Lock key?

I though dressing up as the Grim Reaper and then go knock on the windows of the local retirement home, pointing at random old people would be a fun thing to do.

2014-10-31, 09:17 AM
Can you explain to the court your reasoning behind the recent reign of terror you precipitated?


2014-10-31, 09:36 AM
Level with me: how much is this going to cost me?

2 cubic tonnes.

Archonic Energy
2014-10-31, 10:30 AM
how much halloween candy is too much to eat in one sitting?

40% ABV

2014-10-31, 04:40 PM
This Kahlua cake is amazing! What's your secret ingredient?

It was in the original design specs but they removed it after the first few decapitation incidents.

2014-10-31, 09:49 PM
Why can't you wear plaids and stripes together?

Elementary, my dear poster!

2014-11-01, 12:02 AM
When did you first learn about European history?

I would, but I prefer to keep it as is.

2014-11-01, 02:56 AM
Wouldn't you think your hybrid would get better mileage without that taxidermed ostrich protruding from the hood?

A disabling case of flatulence, I'd say.

2014-11-01, 09:34 AM
Why is everyone from your office standing outside in the rain?

Because it's the one day of the year they get to eat candy until they are sick.

2014-11-01, 11:37 AM
How come people love the day after Valentine's Day so much?

I have absolutely no idea.

2014-11-01, 11:49 AM
Why are doing this when it's not meant to be done this way?!?!?!

Next to the controller you last used.

2014-11-01, 02:23 PM
Honey! Where is my supersuit?


2014-11-01, 03:18 PM
Did you see this cute little fluffy beholder?

Well, it started out as an apple pie, but then the irradiated cinnamon was added by mistake...

2014-11-03, 07:37 AM
Why is there a portal to the Nine Hells of Baator in my living room? And more to the point, why does it smell so delicious?

That would be my pet rhinoceros, Fluffy.

2014-11-03, 11:24 AM
Has the world gone mad, or did I just see a heavily armored unicorn trot through here?

They're hanging from the tree out front.

2014-11-03, 11:55 PM
Did you hide the bodies?

I really wish you didn't.

2014-11-05, 04:58 AM
What was the wish you made to the genie who said he'd like you to wish for you to really, really like him?

Wasted effort, all of it.

2014-11-05, 10:00 AM
What do you think of all the decorations for our After-After-After-After-After Halloween Party?

Well, it was a lottery.

2014-11-05, 01:31 PM
Is there a reason the swimming pool is filled with one-dollar bills?

No, officer, that was my other personality.

2014-11-05, 03:13 PM
Do you know how fast you were going?

Only if I don't have any ketchup.

2014-11-05, 04:42 PM
You're...not gonna still kill us all of a sudden are you?

That should NOT be a meme.

2014-11-05, 05:02 PM
Have you seen this freaky kitty with this text?

In seven seas, across the lands...

2014-11-06, 05:28 AM
Excuse me, could you point me toward the restroom?

Like I solve all problems: with prodigious amounts of banana pudding.

2014-11-06, 07:47 AM
How did you manage to memorize Pi to the millionth decimal?

Because it was free.

2014-11-06, 10:38 AM
Why do dogs chase cats?

Quick, don't think about cats!

Dire Moose
2014-11-06, 11:12 AM
How do I escape the fuzzy kitten pile?

Drive me closer! I want to hit them with my sword!

2014-11-06, 12:03 PM
Don't you think we should leave the wandering minstrels alone?

Because someday you will regret it.

2014-11-06, 12:12 PM
Why shouldn't I go through the effort of getting a Snorunt in Gen III?

Duct tape.

Laughing Dog
2014-11-06, 12:59 PM
How do you think we should fix this hole in the ship?

Just follow the smoke clouds and screams of the dying, you'll catch up to them. Don't know why you want to, though.

2014-11-06, 04:09 PM
Are you sure the 4chan convention is this way?

Honey, I'm home!

2014-11-06, 04:35 PM
Have you ever thought what your last words will be?

The kind that never goes away.

2014-11-06, 05:08 PM
What is the worst pain possible?

Ernelia Cenelia, master jester, disapproves of every single word you said in every possible use for them.

2014-11-06, 05:18 PM
What's that thing growing out of your shoulder have to say about the cost of tea in Canada?

One of these days.

2014-11-06, 06:23 PM
When is the world scheduled to be devoured by Things from Outside?

I've decided to plant them.

2014-11-06, 10:30 PM
So how are you going to raise the chickens?

I think I'd rather just get a soda.

2014-11-07, 05:10 PM
Wanna go on a quest to destroy this ring and save the world?

A potato.

2014-11-07, 05:40 PM
What's the flamethrower for?

I'll do it when Satan can go ice skating.

2014-11-07, 08:49 PM
So, what did you think of the plan to make hell a boiling furnace?

I insert several ninjas, holding kitties, and the kitties are shuriken.

Laughing Dog
2014-11-07, 09:27 PM
You do realize this isn't the D&D Vending Machine, right?

The lead monk holds up his hand and say, "Please, let us put aside our differences and speak of peace." What do you do?

I have no idea what you're on about! I'm just here doin' my job!

2014-11-10, 05:38 PM
Did you just . . . break into my house to euthanize my dog?!

I'm vacillating between "signs point to yes" and "ask again later".

2014-11-10, 07:51 PM
Have you finished your resume for that job as a Magic 8 Ball?

Yes. No. Ice Cream.

2014-11-10, 07:57 PM
So, is liqueur your favorite coffee flavored thing that's not coffee?

Necroscope86's voice.

2014-11-10, 09:34 PM
What's a sound you know of and I don't?

The bravest warrior of Eberron fell to a mighty housecat who scratched out his eyes.

2014-11-11, 02:01 PM
Does the story have a happy ending?

Standing on the beach with a pocket full of shells.

@V That's what was playlooping in my head. :smallamused:

2014-11-11, 03:42 PM
Mr. de la Rocha, could you describe your dream vacation?

I um . . . the longjohns are a bit much.

2014-11-12, 04:04 AM
How do you like my new swim suit?

Contrary to what some people may think, a copy machine does not contain a bunch of pixies that are very quick at painting what they see.

2014-11-12, 03:40 PM
Name one thing about my office that is boring.

I am a man! *punch*

2014-11-12, 04:39 PM
Zeus: "puny mortal, you are naught but a worm beneath my feet, what makes you think that you can stand up to my might?"

That is the porjik, and I don't have to tell you what a porjik is.

2014-11-14, 08:06 PM
What is that a picture of? And DON'T YOU DARE say it's the Funyarinpa!

The world's foremost experts convened recently on the subject, and they STILL couldn't find the answer.

Dire Moose
2014-11-15, 04:26 PM
Does this sweater make me look fat?

I didn't do it! You can't prove I did it! The sheep are lying!

2014-11-15, 07:18 PM
:xykon: + :roach: = ?

Because the other one cost too much.

2014-11-15, 09:24 PM
Why is my gun made of balsa wood?

Well, according to this, you have no legal right to be existing.

2014-11-17, 03:50 PM
What gives you the right to eat my cheeseburger?

I don't know, you tell me.

2014-11-17, 09:47 PM
Sir, do you know how many miles per hour over the speed limit you were going?

There's a simple remedy for that kind of thinking.

2014-11-17, 10:56 PM
Can't I just compare all these fields for incoming queries?

Excadrill holding a Balloon.

2014-11-18, 08:16 AM

It started with a chicken.

Laughing Dog
2014-11-18, 08:44 AM
Queen EmeraldRose, what exactly caused this horriffic slaughter today?

Shedinja that somehow acquired sturdy.

2014-11-18, 11:53 AM
What should NEVER be allowed to exist?

I could tell you, but there's a 67% probability that doing so would rend the very fabric of space and time. Either that or you'd spontaneously combust.

2014-11-18, 01:09 PM
What is the answer to four times four?

It's either everything or nothing. Nothing can be said with absolute truth, so why bother looking for the answer?

2014-11-18, 04:59 PM
Where are my keys?

Oh, sorry about that, I had something in my throat.

2014-11-18, 05:42 PM
Why are there horse heads all over the floor?

In about thirty seconds.

2014-11-18, 06:34 PM
Are we there yet? How about now?

That won't fix everything, you know.

2014-11-18, 11:08 PM
Have you tried turning it off and on again?

That only worked once and we didn't get very far.

Laughing Dog
2014-11-19, 01:23 AM
Have you tried turning the car off and on again?:smalltongue:

Batman, Nightwing, and Robin all walk into a bar. They say, "Ow."

2014-11-19, 03:25 AM
What's Green Arrow's favourite ice breaker when trying to pick up girls?

You can't calculate that, as the wall would prematurely stop the car.

2014-11-19, 09:35 AM
What's the average speed of a car traveling directly through a brick wall on its way to the Super Bowl?

But it's snowing out there!

Dire Moose
2014-11-19, 09:46 AM
I'd like to go to a nudist camp this weekend. What do you think?

I don't care if it's a natural THIRTY.

2014-11-19, 09:56 AM
Look at my thac0, then look at the dice I just rolled, just what do you mean I can't hit that thing?!

That should totally be the title for the next thread.

2014-11-19, 12:32 PM
Is this the X-rated version?

You're no fun.

2014-11-19, 03:44 PM
Could you put that thing away?

Over there, over there, and up there.

2014-11-19, 08:55 PM
Have you seen our explosives specialist?

Can't you do that yourself? :smallsigh:

Targ Collective
2014-11-19, 09:39 PM
Poof! Kazam! Magic!

Because it's always the season to be giving.

2014-11-20, 08:29 AM
Why did you infect the thread with such a horrible virus?!?


2014-11-20, 01:05 PM
Why would you eat his spleen, while he was alive, and watching you do it?

because I was bored and my xell phone was dead

2014-11-20, 06:54 PM
Can I ask you why you suddenly started replacing all your C's with X's?

It was in Brussels, man! Anything goes!

2014-11-21, 05:00 AM
Did I not tell you that it's unacceptable to punt babies?

Your current options is to either leave it alone and hope it goes away on it's own, or raise an issue with the supervisor and let them handle it.

2014-11-21, 08:13 AM
How would you handle a neighbouring cubicle which has spontaneously developed a dull but malevolent sentience?

Don't worry, you'll get used to the chafing.

2014-11-21, 11:03 AM
Shouldn't you be wearing the Pikachu costume?

I need a volunteer.

2014-11-21, 11:49 AM
Are you going to saw someone in half?

There should still be a few of those left in the garden.

2014-11-21, 06:19 PM
Have you seen my socks? They weren't in the dishwasher...

Unless and until Apple starts calling their operating system "Smilodon."

2014-11-21, 06:27 PM
How long is Bill Gates going to keep his lolsabertoothcatz page going?

The answer is beyond the power of mere mortal minds to comprehend.

2014-11-21, 10:56 PM
What's for breakfast?

It started out as a simple dungeon crawl...

V: That's actually completely true. :smallwink::smallbiggrin:

2014-11-21, 11:02 PM
So how did you two meet?

No, I don't have enough patties.

2014-11-22, 06:39 PM
So, are you ready for Thog to show up?


2014-11-22, 06:43 PM
Spongebob! Did you make that septuble krabby patty yet? How many ninjas did you have help you?

Six hundred ninety-four million, seven hundred twenty-eight, three hundred fifty-one and one one-billionth.

2014-11-23, 02:13 PM
Can you guess how many grains of rice, sacks of flour, tons of sugar, and concentrated essence of souls, went into making this Devilish Surprise Cake?

A single elegant word in the proper ear.

2014-11-25, 10:51 PM
What was the murder weapon?

Whoa, perfect score!

2014-11-26, 10:38 AM
What do you have to say about this?

One thing's for sure, there won't be any more turkeys for a loooooong time.

2014-11-26, 05:08 PM
Okay, so we've just discovered this intergalactic confederation of sentient races, and they all want traditional Thanksgiving dinners. What are the possible ramifications?

Just keep hitting it until it works again.

2014-11-27, 01:38 AM
So now that we've surgically removed the arrested heart from the patient's chest, what's the next step in the procedure?

A chicken feather, a matchstick, a coffee mug, and a gallon of Cherry Garcia ice cream.

2014-11-27, 08:27 AM

Don't look now, but I think it's that guy right over there.

Dire Moose
2014-11-28, 12:49 AM
Have you found the ancient eldritch abomination that is destined to destroy the universe as we know it yet?

Well I guess it worked, but you could have avoided making such a huge mess for everyone else to clean up.

2014-11-30, 02:05 AM
How did you know shoving the shoggoth into a blender would kill it? (Not the best fit :/)

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

2014-12-02, 02:06 PM
Why did you have to press the big red button?!?

It looks like a perfectly ordinary, innocent hallway, with no traps at all that you can see.

2014-12-02, 02:31 PM
What's the one set up line a DM can use to ensure absolute paranoia in their players?

Because it's snowing. Again.

2014-12-02, 04:27 PM
Why exactly are you browsing online for a flamethrower?

But I like goblins. :smallfrown:

2014-12-02, 07:09 PM
Do I really have to tell you that "goblin parmesan" is not on the FDA-approved list?

Quick! We need more weedwhackers and theremin music!

2014-12-03, 11:23 AM
The DJ called in sick and the wedding reception is in five minutes! What do we do?

The Bay of Pigs invasion reenacted by the Justice League!

2014-12-03, 04:30 PM
What's your 10-second pitch for the next movie this studio should make?

Suddenly all the red lights on the instrument panel came on at once.

2014-12-03, 04:39 PM
How were you able to tell it went all the way to 11?

A squeaky hedgehog.

2014-12-03, 08:18 PM
What do you get if you cross Sonic with a rubber ducky?

Five thousand dollars.

Sgt. Cookie
2014-12-09, 06:34 AM
What's the current going price for a galleon of papal holy water?

I don't know how it happened, but he spontaneously combusted.

2014-12-09, 08:08 AM
Can you please explain how come the person staying in room 13 on the 13th floor of this hotel went into the room, locked the door from the inside and then disappeared off the face of the earth?

I don't think anyone is fully capable of grasping the immenseness of the repercussions of these events, were they ever to happen.

2014-12-09, 09:42 AM
May I touch your helmet?

My pet hedgehog.

2014-12-09, 04:39 PM

It would take a miracle...

2014-12-10, 10:05 AM
Think I can find a picture of a cat somewhere online?

As long as you only read the first page.

2014-12-10, 10:48 AM
In your opinion, would you say that 50 Shades of Gray is a literary masterpiece?

I just opened the door and the light fixture fell from the ceiling and almost hit my head.

2014-12-10, 04:53 PM
What in the name of Miyamoto's sweet granny happened here?!

About the same as the odds someone will put a question that's specifically related to a given answer in this thread. :smalltongue:

2014-12-10, 06:51 PM
What are the odds I survive this?

It involves a rubber band, eleven sheets of paper, a tub of custard, and 7 12-gauge shotgun shells.

2014-12-11, 09:24 AM
What's your survival plan in case of a zombie apocalypse?

That's no excuse for parking over the line!

2014-12-11, 10:31 AM
When did they remove all the paint from the parking spaces?

Because it requires you to actually be at work to complete.

2014-12-12, 03:25 AM
Why do I have to get up so early in the morning to do this survey thing?

It's actually a rapidly growing sport in the UK, contrary to popular belief.

2014-12-12, 04:58 AM
So who's even heard of Extreme Underwater Ferret Bowling anyway?

As fun as that sounds, I don't think it's an economically viable solution.

Scarlet Knight
2014-12-12, 06:05 PM
Don't you think the "Gold Bar Snatch and Run" would make a great Olympic sport?

The Wall Street Wobble

2014-12-12, 06:30 PM
Is there anything worse than the Kansas City Shuffle?

That is just sick and wrong...I LOVE IT!

2014-12-16, 08:17 PM
Have you ever considered playing tennis with mice?

Never would've guessed it.

2014-12-17, 02:11 AM
Ever thought about how when ever you look at the stuff that have been written on internet, somewhere out there is an actual human being who wrote that thing?

Please put it down, now.

2014-12-17, 03:30 AM
Since I know the fundamentals of juggling three balls, do you think I should try swapping one of the balls out with this kitchen knife and try juggling that?

Modern 'inventions' aren't always modern. The palace at Knossos in Crete actually had a rudimentary water flushed toilet system.

Dire Moose
2014-12-23, 10:10 AM
It never fails! Every toilet I've own has inevitably exploded at some point. Will someone please invent a non-exploding toilet?

Steampunk versions of things that have absolutely no reason to be steampunk.

2014-12-23, 11:42 AM
What sort of collector's items are you searching for these days?

If it involves a TARDIS and something potentially deadly to the entire human race, I'm in.

2014-12-23, 11:35 PM
Would you watch a Doctor Who Anime?

I would prefer it if you took it somewhere else.

2014-12-24, 02:07 AM
Do you want to see how my automatic server for mouse tennis works?

I can't believe you would do that to a waffle!

2014-12-24, 03:11 AM
Don't you think the nitrogen triiodide adds a nice blast of flavour?

I think the dog did.

2014-12-24, 04:48 AM
What the- who completed all my math homework?

Too canon for my tastes.

2014-12-24, 12:24 PM
Didja hear the new Star Wars movie was gonna have the Millennium Falcon in it?

Santa, obviously.

2014-12-24, 01:24 PM
How exactly did you wind up in that stocking?

I swear it was the eye drops.

2014-12-24, 05:38 PM
Would you explain why your little brother has a black eye? :smallmad:

It's supposed to be that color!

Dire Moose
2014-12-25, 10:09 PM
Just what exactly did you DO to that guy? There's blood all over the walls!

In my pants.

2014-12-26, 11:33 AM
Where's the victim's body?

You had ONE JOB!

2014-12-27, 11:28 AM
How should I have known what you actually meant by 'take care of her'?

A lollipop might work. Kill all the little girls until one drops a lollipop. If none of them have it, wait until the resurrection and try again. Might take 10 or more resurrections.

2014-12-27, 12:25 PM
I want some candy, how can we get some candy?

Seems like they just don't last as long as they used to.

2014-12-27, 12:47 PM
I just tried out the newest model of Andriod BoyfriendTM, and he came even faster than before! What sort of stupid design is this?

Stay up until 2 am.

Dire Moose
2014-12-28, 12:16 AM
My chainsaw broke down and I'm low on money, so I'll need to borrow one. Is there anyone in this town who has a working chainsaw, and if so, how do I meet them?

That is NOT the way you were supposed to use it, but I guess results are results.

2014-12-29, 04:20 AM
If you're not supposed to use a musket to batter your opponent ove the head using it like a cudgel, how do you explain all the neutralised zombies?

Because we're on page 50, and you're as good as any to start the new thread.

2014-12-29, 01:43 PM
How does me dressed as David Bowie promote this thread in any way?

To the thread-mobile!

2014-12-29, 01:45 PM
Does this mean you're starting the new thread?

It used to be covered in sprinkles but the cat ate them.

2014-12-29, 01:47 PM
What happened to the old thread?

I suppose it had to happen eventually.

2014-12-30, 02:45 PM
Did you hear how elves won the gnome punting tournament?

More Fireballs!

2014-12-30, 04:32 PM
Quick, how can we avoid these deadly fireballs?!

Because there ARE no rules.

2015-01-02, 06:12 AM
Why won't you tell me the rules?

Here's a video that explains it. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)

2015-01-02, 08:18 AM
Where's the new thread?

Oh, lookit! There it is! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18595029&postcount=1)