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View Full Version : The most disturbing/lecherous belkar strip



Erek Garnsfel
2006-12-08, 11:08 PM
Belkar is the epitome of Chaotic evil. He is a tiny, destructive, lecherous, little demon. We all know this. But when was his most lecherous/disturbing moment?

TinSoldier
2006-12-08, 11:16 PM
Offhand, I would say trying to check V's gender while she/he was a lizard.

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0177.html

Erek Garnsfel
2006-12-08, 11:21 PM
true dat. That was creepy

Balesirion
2006-12-08, 11:33 PM
The whole hitting on Roy thing was just ... ughhh ... really creepy to me.

Demented
2006-12-08, 11:35 PM
Acting to annoy Roy is just that, an act. Still, merely holding that salsa....
Checking out lizard-formed V is simple curiosity.
Contemplating manual owlbear creation? Speaking of V: Evan's... Spiked... Tentacles...

Thinking that leprosy is a valid excuse for dropping a limb?
Creepy.

Vindemiatrix
2006-12-09, 12:50 AM
Gender-checking V. Definitely.

Kjata
2006-12-09, 02:38 AM
Not an option, but I think it is "Check out the Belkstar in his swanky new hat" when he killed Yikyik

Aimbot
2006-12-09, 02:50 AM
Kissing V.

I'd like to think I would establish gender before swapping saliva regardless of my state of intoxication.

But since that's not an option... Alone.

Aldebaran
2006-12-09, 08:28 AM
I voted the first one, though I had a hard time deciding between "Alone" and the lizard gender checking...

Mitheria
2006-12-09, 09:52 AM
The salsa. Definitely the salsa.

The honest illusionist
2006-12-09, 10:38 AM
Belkar kissing V deserves mentioning on that poll, methinks.

But I voted for the "...alone" option anyway.

detrevni
2006-12-09, 10:38 AM
The salsa. Definitely the salsa.

i agree that was nasty:smalleek:

Mewtroid
2006-12-09, 11:24 AM
I don't think the V gender check counts. V's gender is such a mystery, and V seems to go to such lengths to keep it that way, that honestly, if the thought had occured to me I might well have done the same thing. Probably not, but it's a possibility.

If I did I would have done it by picking V up and turning him/her over rather than grabbing him/her by the tail and yanking upwards, though.

I'm in favor of Alone.... myself.

onikun86
2006-12-09, 12:26 PM
The whole hitting on Roy thing was just ... ughhh ... really creepy to me.

Not as creepy to you as it was to him!:smallwink:

I voted for "alone" as well.

I didn't find the salsa/chips part with Yok-yok as disturbing as I found it funny though. :smallsmile:

Fenix
2006-12-09, 12:34 PM
Leprosy, Alone second. But I find these funny rather than disturbing :D

Angela Christine
2006-12-09, 03:13 PM
I don't think the V gender check counts. V's gender is such a mystery, and V seems to go to such lengths to keep it that way, that honestly, if the thought had occured to me I might well have done the same thing. Probably not, but it's a possibility.

If I did I would have done it by picking V up and turning him/her over rather than grabbing him/her by the tail and yanking upwards, though.


I'd be tempted, sure, but I don't think I'd risk it. From V's perspective you are still manhandling his/her naked body in a very undignified way, and V is going to remember that when returned to his/her regular form. "My vengeance shall be prolonged, diminutive cretin."


Now that I think about it, naked lizard V riding on Durkon's bald head is pretty disturbing too. :smalleek:

Aimbot
2006-12-09, 04:11 PM
I wouldn't do it, but only because I know that you need a probe and a steady hand to determine the sex of a lizard.

Maybe Haley's Lockpick would work...

Demented
2006-12-09, 07:48 PM
Okay, now THAT would be disturbing.

Adeptus
2006-12-09, 09:55 PM
Offhand, I would say trying to check V's gender while she/he was a lizard.

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0177.html

Aww... but that was just sound empirical thinking. As a science major I've got to appreciate that.

Quantum Toast
2006-12-09, 11:03 PM
I think I'll go with the "...alone" one. If only because he's deliberately being disturbing there. The lizard-gender thing seems more like plain curiosity to me, and I don't even remember the leprosy one.

TinSoldier
2006-12-09, 11:12 PM
I don't think the V gender check counts. V's gender is such a mystery, and V seems to go to such lengths to keep it that way, that honestly, if the thought had occured to me I might well have done the same thing. Probably not, but it's a possibility.

If I did I would have done it by picking V up and turning him/her over rather than grabbing him/her by the tail and yanking upwards, though.

I'm in favor of Alone.... myself.V doesn't seem to purposely keep it a mystery... I think that he/she assumes that everyone knows his or her gender. The fact that his or her gender is a mystery doesn't occur to Vaarsuvius.

BardicLasher
2006-12-09, 11:17 PM
V knows that Belkar doesn't know because Belkar has ADMITTED to not knowing. HOWEVER, V probably assumes that the average person who has a wisdom higher than that of a lemming knows.

ElphabaFanatic
2006-12-09, 11:57 PM
I think "Alone..." is the worst. He was DELIBRATELY trying to creep out Roy. AND IT WORKED!


:roy:I think I'll go dip my brain in acid now.

Or something along the lines of that.

Aimbot
2006-12-10, 12:32 AM
Okay, now THAT would be disturbing.
Yeah, I think the result would be several delayed blast fireballs to the face.

Frankly I'd cop a feel on the humanoid V if I was that desperate, but I'm not curious enough to risk the fact that I occupy space...

Mr.Burn
2006-12-10, 12:39 AM
'Are you feeling ok? I'm really worried about you." Priceless

Esclados
2006-12-10, 01:01 AM
I think it's kinda disturbing that Belkar acting homosexual is way more disturbing to most people than Belkar hacking people's heads off and using them for hats, or salsa dip.

Aimbot
2006-12-10, 01:03 AM
I think it's kinda disturbing that Belkar acting homosexual is way more disturbing to most people than Belkar hacking people's heads off and using them for hats, or salsa dip.
Not people. Kobolds. They're walking EXP, only they don't walk for all that long.

Demented
2006-12-10, 01:05 AM
If YikYik was a raccoon or fox (or wolf or bear for those druids out there), we'd be all for hacking his head off and using him as a hat.
Raw meat makes very poor salsa though.

Esclados
2006-12-10, 01:07 AM
Not people. Kobolds. They're walking EXP, only they don't walk for all that long.

Pff. Read Goblins and then say that. :smalltongue: ( http://www.goblinscomic.com (http://www.goblinscomic.com/) plug plug plug )

The Extinguisher
2006-12-10, 01:08 AM
He wasn't acting homosexual. He was trying to disturb Roy. And technically he was a girl...

but "...Alone" definitely wins. That ran a shiver down my spine

Jazzvader
2006-12-10, 10:06 AM
Offhand, I would say trying to check V's gender while she/he was a lizard.

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0177.html

no that would actually help

mikeejimbo
2006-12-10, 10:14 AM
"I'll always have that image for when I'm....alone."

Ah yes, I love how he can suspend any insecurity he'd have just to freak out Roy. It's respectable, at least in the point of view of a person such as myself.

Amon Star
2006-12-10, 10:24 AM
I voted alone, but wish to change my vote. Anyway I can do that?


Offhand, I would say trying to check V's gender while she/he was a lizard.

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0177.html

I agree. It's a violation of privacy at the very least.


Kissing V.

I'd like to think I would establish gender before swapping saliva regardless of my state of intoxication.

But since that's not an option... Alone.

You've obviously never been that drunk then. :smallbiggrin:


If YikYik was a raccoon or fox (or wolf or bear for those druids out there), we'd be all for hacking his head off and using him as a hat.

I wouldn't.

Aimbot
2006-12-10, 02:46 PM
If YikYik was a raccoon or fox (or wolf or bear for those druids out there), we'd be all for hacking his head off and using him as a hat.
Raw meat makes very poor salsa though.
Off topic, but I never understood Druidic armor restrictions. You love animals and trees so you can only make your armor out of... Dead animals and trees?

Wooter
2006-12-10, 04:16 PM
They politely ask the bear if it can have its skin before they kill it.

Taelas
2006-12-10, 04:37 PM
Off topic, but I never understood Druidic armor restrictions. You love animals and trees so you can only make your armor out of... Dead animals and trees?
You're on the wrong track.

Druids revere nature and the balance inherent in nature, not animals and trees (they are simply part of it). Eating meat, using skin for clothes and wood for weapons are all acceptable to a druid (or a ranger, or any other woodsperson). If they refuse to do any of those, it has nothing to do with their role as a druid, it has to do with their personality. It's a common misconception.

On topic, Belkar's most disturbing moment was definitely the salsa. :smallyuk:

Demented
2006-12-10, 05:00 PM
I wouldn't.

Okay, I admit. The leather would need some tanning and curing first before I'd wear it. Otherwise that thing is going to start to stink, bad! After that, though, I'd think he'd make perfectly acceptable headgear, especially for someone who intends to multiclass into the 'barrbaryunz gild'.

I absolutely draw the line at salsa bowls, though.
Dragon and magic beast skulls only; I have standards.

Norenche
2006-12-10, 05:19 PM
the "alone" one is the most disturbing by far

Professor Tanhauser
2006-12-11, 01:25 AM
Hmm, I'd say it was when he killed the gobbos after they'd surrendered. On one hand that was bad, but then again how, exactly, do gobbos treat anyone who surrenders to them?

Amon Star
2006-12-11, 09:38 AM
Okay, I admit. The leather would need some tanning and curing first before I'd wear it. Otherwise that thing is going to start to stink, bad! After that, though, I'd think he'd make perfectly acceptable headgear, especially for someone who intends to multiclass into the 'barrbaryunz gild'.

I absolutely draw the line at salsa bowls, though.
Dragon and magic beast skulls only; I have standards.

I still wouldn't, but that's off topic. The problem with :belkar: using Yikyik as a hat is that he's sentient, while in D&D animal aren't. And in D&D using sentient flesh as animal flesh is an Evil act.

mockingbyrd7
2006-12-18, 07:37 PM
Option 1, definitely.

Orkimedes
2006-12-18, 08:45 PM
My vote;
:belkar: Wanna touch my rod of lordly might? Press the right button and it might extend

Erek Garnsfel
2006-12-18, 08:49 PM
dang, that's a good one

GSFB
2006-12-19, 01:06 AM
I think trying to goad a paladin into losing her powers, by murdering an innocent guard and then using his blood to make a trail to your trap, is truly evil.

But the salsa thing is certainly more icky.

The V thing is not evil or icky, just awkward. It's like when Niles and CC finally make out on The Nanny.

War
2006-12-19, 01:46 AM
I have to go with the lizard thing. Sure, hitting on Roy was creepy, but that was the point; Belkar didn't mean any of it, not even keeping the image when alone, we can pray. And at least Roy had the option of fighting back.

Manhandling your helpless, naked teammate for a better view of their genitals, on the other hand... that's just a no.

Nightmarenny
2006-12-19, 02:05 AM
I still wouldn't, but that's off topic. The problem with :belkar: using Yikyik as a hat is that he's sentient, while in D&D animal aren't. And in D&D using sentient flesh as animal flesh is an Evil act.Isn't there such thing as Dragonhide armor? Is that bad?

Fronko
2006-12-19, 03:50 AM
I voted for the fuglies. The other are more or less funny, in a twisted kind of way. The disrespect expressed with the fuglies is just bad. Bad Belkster, bad! :)

I generally like the way he thinks, though.

fire_hawk
2006-12-19, 04:01 AM
Alone. Definitely.

Manga Shoggoth
2006-12-19, 05:35 AM
I still wouldn't, but that's off topic. The problem with :belkar: using Yikyik as a hat is that he's sentient, while in D&D animal aren't. And in D&D using sentient flesh as animal flesh is an Evil act.
Isn't there such thing as Dragonhide armor? Is that bad?

I can't see the dragon being too keen on the prospect, at any rate.

Amon Star
2006-12-19, 05:47 AM
Isn't there such thing as Dragonhide armor? Is that bad?

I had forgotten about that. I would say that that is an exception written into the Alignment system by it's a fantasy cliche. Either that or using sentient flesh as animal flesh is an Evil act only applies to humanoids and Good sentients. Hey, I don't like it either, but I never wrote the game.

GSFB
2006-12-19, 01:46 PM
Dragon hide moves beyond the normal paradigm into the world of "relics." Carrying around a human limb just for shock value is creepy and weird. Carrying around the bones of a Saint for their blessed luck may still be creepy and weird, but it is an accepted part of many belief systems.

Armor and weapons made from the corpses of dragons or other superpowerful magical beings seems awfully parallel.

Kobolds, on the other hand, have no intrinstic mystical power in their flesh. So carrying around a kobold head is more like wearing a necklace of the ears of your foes for sheer shock value than invoking the power of some mystical force via relics.

Demented
2006-12-19, 02:39 PM
Kobolds ARE a draconic race. =P

It's one of the more subjective evil things. It's not Evil, just disturbing to humanoids to see other humanoids being used as gear, so humanoids would declare it evil, depending on their viewpoint. Likewise, I'd imagine quadrapeds wouldn't like to see other quadrapeds being used as gear. But would it be disturbing for a quadraped to wear humanoids as gear?

It's almost certainly evil to wear flumph, though.

Amon Star
2006-12-20, 10:11 AM
It's almost certainly evil to wear flumph, though.

Agreed!

However, I have recently read something to add more fuel to this fire. At the moment I'm reading The Crystal Shard and I've just gone past the bit where Bruenor, a Lawful Good dwarf, made stew out of the brains of giants.

Aidan305
2006-12-20, 10:53 AM
I would say that the answer to this one is the Jan 2007 Dragon comic. It involves Belkar and a custom-made wand of dispel clothing.

GSFB
2006-12-20, 12:53 PM
Kobolds only THINK they are a dragon race. We actual dragons know better.

EntilZha
2006-12-31, 12:56 AM
For me, it was #335, where we learn Belkar lusts after Hermione Granger, the little perv. :smalltongue:

Grim Oswald
2006-12-31, 08:41 AM
I don't find any of those options disturbing.

...Does that make me disturbed?

TroyXavier
2006-12-31, 11:12 AM
Alone is just creepy and funny on so many levels.

PaladinFreak
2006-12-31, 12:31 PM
Alone.... Totally alone.

Weebl
2007-01-01, 07:06 AM
Its so disturbing you just kinda have to wait for next really bad one.

Green Bean
2007-01-01, 07:51 AM
I wouldn't do it, but only because I know that you need a probe and a steady hand to determine the sex of a lizard.

Maybe Haley's Lockpick would work...

I was going to vote for .....alone, but now the mental image of Belkar using a lockpick to check V's gender appears every time I read that comic.

Tharj TreeSmiter
2007-01-02, 06:46 PM
I think his best line was actually in the "on the origin of PC's" with the whores two fore one!

zeratul
2007-01-07, 04:17 PM
Belkar is the epitome of Chaotic evil. He is a tiny, destructive, lecherous, little demon. We all know this. But when was his most lecherous/disturbing moment?

Once again belkar is not CE i repeat BELKAR IS NOT CE he is probably CN with evil tendencies. He isnt truley evil as roy said he could have killed them and stolen all their magic items but he did'nt

Khantalas
2007-01-07, 04:22 PM
If Belkar isn't evil:

1) Why was he unaffected by Unholy Blight?
2) Why does he avoid Detect Evil?
3) Why does he think Miko will lose her powers by travelling with him?
4) Why is he an overall twisted psychopath?

Belkar is evil, to the extreme. More evil than Xykon, probably. And if he wasn't evil, he wouldn't be as great.

EDIT: Oh, and why did he think killing OotS and stealing their items was a good idea?

Jazzvader
2007-02-12, 04:05 PM
Kobolds only THINK they are a dragon race. We actual dragons know better.

You weirdo. You aren't a dragon you stupid boy pike!!

the_tick_rules
2007-02-12, 09:33 PM
asking if roy's sister was hot.

Tilian
2007-02-13, 12:39 AM
Once again belkar is not CE i repeat BELKAR IS NOT CE he is probably CN with evil tendencies. He isnt truley evil as roy said he could have killed them and stolen all their magic items but he did'nt

It's been discussed before(and Rich has actually put forth the final word himself). There's no way Belkar isn't evil, but just because he's evil doesn't mean he's going to kill everyone around him just because he has the opportunity. He has a serious sentimental streak that makes him rather fond of some of his companions, and being sentimental isn't exclusive to good or neutral characters.