The Ultimate Battle

[Luna_Mayflower]

Imagine it. In the frosty wastes of the polar cap, Xykon rocks up. For whatever reason, he decides to pick a fight with Malack. I mean, they're both evil, so he might not, but whatever.

Here are the rules of the engaugment:
+Malack has none of his normal gear, but the exact same gear as Xykon. That means no holy symbol, but he does have all of Xykon's current magical items and scrolls.
+Malack made a deal with the IFCC, but jokes on them because he has no soul (after killing his friend like that, doubly so). In return for a non-existant soul, he gets a 44 Revolver. For this battle only.
+Xykon, having been buddies with the IFCC before V, which is why he knew about soul splices, has gone for an anti-soul splice. This basically means he can summon V's soul for 1 minute in this battle, and shim can cast any prepared spells for Xykon.
+Since Xykon has burnt Durkon before the battle, Malack is angry. He acts as if under a Rage spell.
+Since Xykon nicked Malack's special altar to his beast god, Xykon is under a heavenly curse that stops him from using his 9th Level spells, but he can still use epic and 8th level spells, and all below.
+But, you will be reminded that Xykon sold the altar to Ian for hard cash, and used the money to buy ONE scroll of Energy Drain, which he may use despite losing his 9th level spells.
+Malack has learn Familicide, but, after using it on Nale, he has lost both his only ally (Tarquin) and his only epic spell slot (he got a ring that let him cast it once form the IFCC)
+Redcloak fell over Durkon's burnt corpse and cracked his head on the pavement. While he is still alive, he is in a coma for the rest of his unnatural life, and so is now a veg.
+Xykon nicked Red's cloak, but didn't want to give up his own really stylish cloak, so he is wearing it as a turban. It has the same powers as when Red was wearing it, minus the clerical spells, as Xykon isn't a cleric.
+Neither parties have any lackies, like summoned devils or undead.
+Malack is wearing a positive energy ring as a toe-ring, and so can halve Xykon's HP with a toe attack.
+If the fight goes on for 6 minutes, then Belkars of all races will fly in from all direction, punishing both parties involved with instant death.
+Malack can use his bottle to summon Krampus once during the battle, for two rounds.

And there we have it. Who do YOU think will win? Also, if you think you have an idea about how the battle would go, and who would do what and when, then please feel free to write below.

Thanks,
Luna

[Rakoa]

I'd ask for some of your drugs, but I'm afraid you likely don't have any left.

This was hilarious to read.

[Vinsfeld]

I'd ask for some of your drugs, but I'm afraid you likely don't have any left.

This was hilarious to read.

I wouldn't even come near drugs as powerful as the one he/she took.

And I agree, it was hilarious to read.

[Kornaki]

Rage would keep Malack from casting spells, except thank Nergel he's undead so immune to that mind affecting spell.

Everyone knows skeletons are resistant to piercing damage so the .44 revolver is largely ineffective. Plus, Malack isn't proficient and doesn't have the best BAB to begin with (low level, cleric). Energy drain isn't particularly effective in this fight, but without his holy symbol Malack seems to be literally incapable of harming Xykon. Plus Xykon now knows that the Dark One was trying to scam him thanks to the turban, so I go with Xykon cuts Malack a deal to figure out a real control ritual for them to use. They're both fairly reasonable villains in their own way (Xykon less so, but I think he knows a good thing when he sees it) so I think they could split the world and play nice about it

[Luna_Mayflower]

As long as Malack could overcome the sadness of losing Durkon, and Xykon could overcome the lack of care for losing Recloak, I think they could be best of friends. Plus, since Malack has a copy of Xykon's equipment, they could sell some of it to fund their evil plans.

However, what would happen IF they HAD to fight. I don't know, maybe the Dark One tells them: "C'mon guys, do it!" and so they have to. He's a god.

Here's the kicker: Malack gets a Minigun instead of a Revolver!

[Kornaki]

Xykon casts greater teleport and brings them back to Gobbotopia of all places, since the southern lands are under the jurisdiction of the 12 animal gods and they have a track record of not letting other deities mess around in their territory

[Luna_Mayflower]

Apart from the Dark One? It seems like the 12 gods lost their stuff down there once Xykon removed Azure City from the map. I want to know how he removed it from every map in the world... maybe an epic spell? Like Mapicide or something fun? Xykon's fun like that, so he'd do it. He just needs to learn Familicide now. Why hasn't he already? Seems right up his alley.

[Kornaki]

A common misconception. Azure city was never taken off the map, it was taken off the grid. They won't be getting electricity for another four or five centuries anyway so it will be a while before anybody notices

[Luna_Mayflower]

No no no, Xykon was pretty chill about it. I guess he didn't care too much. I wonder how much oil they could find under Azure City? Maybe Xykon could just settle with one city, seeing as how good a marketer Jirix is. I mean I know the oil of Xykon is bad, but everyone wants it. The song could go:

"Come along, Uncie Xykon's full. His belly buldges with your lovely oil, and he wants to give. That's the Oil of Xykon, coming out.

Who wants energy, I do, man. Pitch the lich and fuel your cart. It's coming, flowing, use it quick. It's the arcane-ie-est oil you can't drink.

Who needs Olive Oil when Oil of Xykon flows. Flows out of his gross not-nose. Redcloaks been mixed in, so it looks green as grass.

Wights are pink, and Roy's yellow in the belly. I might hate Nale, I might hate Sabine, but I just love, yeah I just love, the Oil of Xykon, for it's coming.

V's got nothing I want and Durkon's dry. Just stick with Xykon. I want his spells, but until then, let his oil flow."

[Akari Itagami]

What are ya talking about? Are ya on Valkyr (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Payne)?

[Lombard]

So unrealistic.

Malack doesn't have toes.

[Dissection]

No no no, Xykon was pretty chill about it. I guess he didn't care too much. I wonder how much oil they could find under Azure City? Maybe Xykon could just settle with one city, seeing as how good a marketer Jirix is. I mean I know the oil of Xykon is bad, but everyone wants it. The song could go:

"Come along, Uncie Xykon's full. His belly buldges with your lovely oil, and he wants to give. That's the Oil of Xykon, coming out.

Who wants energy, I do, man. Pitch the lich and fuel your cart. It's coming, flowing, use it quick. It's the arcane-ie-est oil you can't drink.

Who needs Olive Oil when Oil of Xykon flows. Flows out of his gross not-nose. Redcloaks been mixed in, so it looks green as grass.

Wights are pink, and Roy's yellow in the belly. I might hate Nale, I might hate Sabine, but I just love, yeah I just love, the Oil of Xykon, for it's coming.

V's got nothing I want and Durkon's dry. Just stick with Xykon. I want his spells, but until then, let his oil flow."


What am I reading

[Gift Jeraff]

Now there's something you don't see everyday.

[TRH]

This thread...:smalleek::smalleek::smalleek:

I haven't seen a thread this systematically crazy since I went over to Jedi Council Forums and saw their Cad Bane thread, and that one just sort of happened, this was designed this way. Words fail me.

[WindStruck]

Monster in the Dark will win. :smalltongue:

[Klear]

THE FLESH OF FALLEN ANGELS!

...uh... excuse me. I wanted to say: "What if Xykon fought Superman? Xykon gets a small pebble of kryptonite, but Superman has a week of prep time."

[Luna_Mayflower]

Here's how I see the battle going, man and ladies:

+Malack loads his gun, while Xykon summons up Krampus.
+Malack unloads in Krampus, three crits and the beast goes down.
+Xykon summons V's spirit, who casts Max Fireball, but Malack has Xykon's no-fire ring.
+Malack toe-rings V, and, as a ghost, shim goes down like a sack of moldy rot.
+Malack toe-rings Xykon, but Xykon uses his scroll to heal himself.
+Xykon trips Malack with his Red turban, and nicks his toe ring. However, being silly, Xykon doesn't know it would hurt the Vampire, so eats it for fun.
+Malack Word of Recalls behind Xykon, and punches him, then unloads in his skull.
+Xykon uses Enervation on himself to heal.
+Malack, noticing his nicked altar and dead friend, goes into a rage and fully unloads the revolver in Xykon's non-belly.
+Oil flows out, and they're both trapped in Oil of Xykon for a short while.
+As they finally get out, the 6 mins are up and Belkars of all races fly in from every direction and kill both Xykon and Malack. Malack goes Gasy, but Troll Belkar inhales him, so he's dead, and Harpy Belkar scraps Xykon's phlactery for cash.

K.O. Draw!

Hope you all liked Round 1.
_____________________________

I think what you guys are forgetting is that Xykon had oil now. With Jirix's marketing, Oil of Xykon is worth more than Soon's facial hair.

So, he can just hire more soldiers, maybe he can hire V. I imagine it would go like this:

Xykon: "Hey, if you kill some random people I'll give you some magic items and cash and oil"
V: "Sure Uncie Xykon"
Malack: "Ah NAW MAN! What you doing blud?" (Yes, Malack talks like a gangster, Durkon says so in #856)

Oh ho ho, Malack is angry. Round 2:

Then Malack and V have a battle, but the thing is:

+Malack gets a 22 Rifle, while V gets an elephant to ride.
+Xykon can kill either of them if he gets bored (which he always does)
+Malack gets a super holy symbol, that only lets him cast 1 spell of his choice
+V can cast Disjunction, but only Disjunction
+And maybe Time Stop IF shim gets the holy symbol.

But, here comes the fun bit. About half way through, they betray Xykon. So it's Malack and V vs Xykon, with the above equipment and the equipment listed in the OP.

Who wins? How does Xykon kill V and Malack, or how does it go the other way around?

Oh, and the Hobo Cleric that can cast dancing knights can be summoned by Malack to do his bidding.

Who wins? You decide?

[TheTinyMan]

Thank you for this thread. It's enlightened me in ways that I never thought were possible, and I feel more connected with the characters and events of the comics than ever before, like a light bulb hanging from the Tree of Life!

[137beth]

This is the best thread ever.

[martianmister]

Only way to win is not fight in the first place. Nobody wins, because everyone's losing...

Or else:
Mr. Rogers and his sweater (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3Nqguav6nE)

[Klear]

This is the best thread ever.

Who would win in a fight: Xykon, or this thread? Xykon gets a revolver to even it up.

[King of Nowhere]

I think both Xykon and malack would team up to kill the OP for even coming up with this stufff.

If they had to fight, they'd spend 6 minutes trying to figure out what happened to them, then they would die to belkars.

And if drugs really make people see that klind of stuff, I have to join the pro-legalize front.

[137beth]

Who would win in a fight: Xykon, or this thread? Xykon gets a revolver to even it up.
Problem: revolvers can only destroy one computer at a time, not the thread which is on the internet. So the thread would win:smalltongue:

[Luna_Mayflower]

So, the votes are coming in strong for the battle between V, Xykon and Malack. What should be noted, ladies and roughmen, is that Xykon has OIL. He can buy anything for this battle, but V and Malack get the equipment listed above. Xykon can't buy what he can't get, so he can't buy miniguns or anything, only what's around in the OOTSverse.

Anyway, while we wait for the votes, how about we play a game. Let's play 'Help Jirix market Oil of Xykon.' How would you market Oil of Xykon to those you know and don't? (Yeah, you can sing the song of Oil of Xykon, just remember that it's "HIS belly buldges with your lovely oil", not "THAT belly buldges with your lovely oil".)

[Klear]

Problem: revolvers can only destroy one computer at a time, not the thread which is on the internet. So the thread would win:smalltongue:

...unless he goes directly for the server. Edit: Is there a "summon spam" spell in DnD?

[137beth]

...unless he goes directly for the server. Edit: Is there a "summon spam" spell in DnD?

Well, there is fireball (although flaming is different from spamming, its close:smalltongue:)
There is, however, Create Food And Water, which allows you to choose the kind of food, so creating Spam is an option. It doesn't create enough to cause a serious problem for the mods though, unless you get it as an at-will ability from an item or something...

You could also create an epic spell to create trolls:smallamused:

[Flame of Anor]

http://www.troll.me/images/idiot-gaston/what-am-i-reading.jpg

[Klear]

Well, there is fireball (although flaming is different from spamming, its close:smalltongue:)
There is, however, Create Food And Water, which allows you to choose the kind of food, so creating Spam is an option. It doesn't create enough to cause a serious problem for the mods though, unless you get it as an at-will ability from an item or something...

You could also create an epic spell to create trolls:smallamused:

Maybe there is a more direct approach than that. I know there is a spell used to open locked doors and stuff (knock?) Is there one that can lock things?

[137beth]

Maybe there is a more direct approach than that. I know there is a spell used to open locked doors and stuff (knock?) Is there one that can lock things?

Yes, arcane lock being just one example (there are probably others I haven't thought of). The catch is, arcane lock is limited by the area of the thing being locked. So all I have to do is use my browser's zoom until the thread has a larger area than can be magically locked!

[Koo Rehtorb]

Who will win? The fans!

[Klear]

Yes, arcane lock being just one example (there are probably others I haven't thought of). The catch is, arcane lock is limited by the area of the thing being locked. So all I have to do is use my browser's zoom until the thread has a larger area than can be magically locked!

What's the upper limit Xykon could possibly reach at his level?

My VERY rough estimate is that this thread is currently around 12 metres long on my display with 500% magnification (limit, at least in Chrome). That might be possible to lock for an epic sorceror, right?

(though we'd have to replace Xykon's revolver with some prep time for this fight)

[Finn Solomon]

Gods protect you, Luna Mayflower.

[137beth]

What's the upper limit Xykon could possibly reach at his level?

My VERY rough estimate is that this thread is currently around 12 metres long on my display with 500% magnification (limit, at least in Chrome). That might be possible to lock for an epic sorceror, right?

(though we'd have to replace Xykon's revolver with some prep time for this fight)

Xykon's level is definitely between 21 and 47. Arcane Lock does 30 square feet per level. So if we take the upper bound for Xykon's level, it needs to be 1410 square feet, or roughly 133 square meters. So you said it's 12 meters long? If we can get it as long as it is wide, then the thread is safe. Note, this is only using the absolute upper bound on Xykon's level.

[Klear]

Xykon's level is definitely between 21 and 47. Arcane Lock does 30 square feet per level. So if we take the upper bound for Xykon's level, it needs to be 1410 square feet, or roughly 133 square meters. So you said it's 12 meters long? If we can get it as long as it is wide, then the thread is safe. Note, this is only using the absolute upper bound on Xykon's level.

Hmm... I'm counting 630 ft², or almost 60 m² as the lower limit. This thread is unlikely to get significantly wider, though, unless someone posts a very unreasonably shaped image.

Anyway, standard DPI seems to be 96 pixels per inch, and the width of this thread is 963 pixels (the poster/avatar bar included), which puts it almost exactly at 10 inches. Determining the thread height would be rather difficult, though.

Pseudoedit: Nevermind the difficulties - the height of the first page is roughly 690 times 5,5 when shrinked to 25%, or 15180 pixels, the second page (sans my post and any that may have been posted before I was done with these calculations) roughly 1380. Together that makes 16560, or 172,5 inches = 14.333333 feet. (Incidentally, that's just over 4 metres, so I was way off in my earlier estimation).

Together that gives up paltry 3.58 ft squared, something you could pull off at character level 0.2 =P

Without a dramatic increase in width (which would get the thread locked anyway), it would have to go on for more than 190 more pages to reach size that a level 21 Xykon (lower bound) couldn't lock.

Xykon wins!

My math can be way off... feel free to check my conclusion by any methodology you deem reliable...

[137beth]

Hmm... I'm counting 630 ft², or almost 60 m² as the lower limit. This thread is unlikely to get significantly wider, though, unless someone posts a very unreasonably shaped image.

Anyway, standard DPI seems to be 96 pixels per inch, and the width of this thread is 963 pixels (the poster/avatar bar included), which puts it almost exactly at 10 inches. Determining the thread height would be rather difficult, though.

Pseudoedit: Nevermind the difficulties - the height of the first page is roughly 690 times 5,5 when shrinked to 25%, or 15180 pixels, the second page (sans my post and any that may have been posted before I was done with these calculations) roughly 1380. Together that makes 16560, or 172,5 inches = 14.333333 feet. (Incidentally, that's just over 4 metres, so I was way off in my earlier estimation).

Together that gives up paltry 3.58 ft squared, something you could pull off at character level 0.2 =P

Without a dramatic increase in width (which would get the thread locked anyway), it would have to go on for more than 190 more pages to reach size that a level 21 Xykon (lower bound) couldn't lock.

Xykon wins!

My math can be way off... feel free to check my conclusion by any methodology you deem reliable...

Well, if we zoom in to 500%, that gives us 25 times the area, but that still isn't enough, even if Xykon is only level 21. Yea, I guess Xykon wins:smallbiggrin:

[Klear]

OK, let's give the thread a fighting chance:

(you don't want to click that spoiler)
You REALLY don't want to click that spoilerOK, I tried to warn you.
http://i.imgur.com/bKOH8Jf.png

The width is now (potentially) a bit wider than something over 50 000 pixels, or 43.3 feet.

Which gives us (Dun dun duhn!!) 619.189 Square Feet - almost good enough to beat the least powerful Xykon possible! We're getting closer, but Xykon still takes this.

[137beth]

OK, let's give the thread a fighting chance:

(you don't want to click that spoiler)
You REALLY don't want to click that spoilerOK, I tried to warn you.
http://i.imgur.com/bKOH8Jf.png

The width is now (potentially) a bit wider than something over 50 000 pixels, or 43.3 feet.

Which gives us (Dun dun duhn!!) 619.189 Square Feet - almost good enough to beat the least powerful Xykon possible! We're getting closer, but Xykon still takes this.

It didn't work. Let's try this:
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EDIT: Aww, it just makes it really long. Maybe an image would work?

[Klear]

It didn't work. Let's try this:

EDIT: Aww, it just makes it really long. Maybe an image would work?

Didn't? It works for me, in Chrome and in IE. I uploaded a 10 pixels high and 50 000 pixels long blank image. The same trick could be used to make the thread higher, but it was supposed to give the thread a fighting chance, not to cheat like that...

And we should probably keep it down. I keep looking above me expecting a banhammer to land any second since I've posted it anyway.

[Cavenskull]

What you're all forgetting is that Arcane Lock needs a different material component than usual when using it to lock a thread. In order to use Arcane Lock to defeat a thread, you need a troll post as a material component. Without the material component, the thread is safe. And even if Xykon obtains the necessary material component, all the thread needs in order to protect itself from being locked is Summon Monster: Permissive Moderator.

[Flame of Anor]

Didn't? It works for me, in Chrome and in IE. I uploaded a 10 pixels high and 50 000 pixels long blank image.

It works here too, in Opera.

[martianmister]

BEWARE!

http://www.mereinetidor.com/images/mereinetidor/planeteBIG2012.jpg

[Klear]

Neat map but...


And we should probably keep it down. I keep looking above me expecting a banhammer to land any second since I've posted it anyway.

[martianmister]

Neat map but...

Uh oh...

*runs*

[Red_Fire]

{Scrubbed}

[jaeden1000]

[QUOTE=Rakoa;15600821]I'd ask for some of your drugs, but I'm afraid you likely don't have any left.


I still gots some its 5000gp :smallwink:

[Luna_Mayflower]

And so, the votes are in for V vs Malack vs Xykon:

+Malack uses Harm, his special spell, on V's elephant, instantly slaying the beast
+V reaches out with shims hairy arms and grabs the 22 rifle, turning it on, who else, but Roy, whom V has grown to hate for casuing shim to sell shims soul. Shim unloads in him, killing him.
+Malack uses a homebrew spell, dectect Gender, on V (it doesn't require a symbol), but the backlash is so great he dies on the spot, trying to turn into gas.
+Xykon rocks up, stealing the rifle from V, and turning it on the gas. He uses the magic to change blow to suck, and sucks Malack. Malack, being completely sucked, is gone.
+V, getting REALLY angry, grabs Roy's sword. In a stupid act of mindlessness, shim scores a crit, straight at Xykon's ribs, instantly slaying him.
+Haley, angry at Roy's death, throws ginger hairs and V, stealing V's soul and sending shim to hell forever.

K.O. Haley Wins!

Hope you all liked Round 2.
_____________________________


So, here's the rules for Round 3, which doesn't include Xykon.

Round 3:

Haley vs 3.0 ed Durkon, vs Blackwing in a Mech

+The mech is exactly the same as the power loader from the end of Aliens
+It can also fire coppies of the game Aliens: Colonial Marines at targets
+Haley's bow is replaced with a +10 Icy Burst (MAX DC) Disjoining Death Bow of Doom
+Durkon can quicken any spell, and cast every spell in the PHB, including SOR/WIZ spells
+Durkon can cast Summon Fagin once, and Fagin has a M4A1

As always, leave votes below or PM me, I'm easy.

And, as a side note, nothing can destroy this thread, because I have backing from Oil of Xykon lmt. and Jirix is the best hobo since the charging gobo from pannel 1, strip 1.

[Rakoa]

You had me at Blackwing in a mech. I mean, I didn't even need to read further. Nothing could beat Blackwing in a mech.

[Belkar<3]

That's some hilarious imaginations (*drugs*) ya' got there. Meh. I think Malack would get Xykon with his toe ring attack.

[137beth]

You had me at Blackwing in a mech. I mean, I didn't even need to read further. Nothing could beat Blackwing in a mech.

Except Haley's +10 Icy Burst (MAX DC) Disjoining Death Bow of Doom!
I say Haley wins again.

Also,
Xykon rocks up, stealing the rifle from V, and turning it on the gas. He uses the magic to change blow to suck, and sucks Malack. Malack, being completely sucked, is gone.
I didn't know rifles were also Poltergheist 3000s...

[nyjastul69]

You're all doing it wrong. The winner is clear and obvious, whomever Rich decides based upon story considerations.:smallbiggrin:

[Carry2]

This all appears to be perfectly normal for a Versus Thread. Which I hate.

[Luna_Mayflower]

I didn't know rifles were also Poltergheist 3000s...

Do you believe in magic? Because he can do anything if he wishes hard enough. In fact, time for a new song.

When you wish upon Xykon's eye, be worried, be scared, because he'll make you cry.
He hates children, but loves Ghosts. I've seen him with one, it's gross.
But don't worry, he's a friend after all! Xykon's just a bear, without all the hair.
So grab a plushie, when rIcH 043 builds one. Come on! Friends! Have fun in the sun!

Redcloak can't breath, now he's a colourin'. Jirix can't leave, now he's markettin;.
Forget Oil, rez the mystic theurge, because you know, she has the urge,
to make plushies, oh so grand. Sorry, Belkster, 'bout the sand.
Kill that sand, like it's 1989. Because that elemental, she's just fine!

Forget your friends, forget your dad. You can all suffer, like Belkars 'nads.
Who cares for love, you've got Xykon. No need to get your fight on,
he's not a man, not a gal, so all can love him, even gays y'all.
Oh Xykon, fill out dreams until doomsday. :smallredface:

[Carry2]

What I mean to say is, I appreciate that you've constructed a relatively subtle yet scathing critique of the basic concept of pitting two completely different objects/persons/settings/philosophies against eachother solely for vicarious entertainment value, usually under blatantly contrived scenario conditions, victory parameters, and/or assumed motivations. Well done, sir or madam. I salute you.

[Luna_Mayflower]

What I mean to say is, I appreciate that you've constructed a relatively subtle yet scathing critique of the basic concept of pitting two completely different objects/persons/settings/philosophies against eachother solely for vicarious entertainment value, usually under blatantly contrived scenario conditions, victory parameters, and/or assumed motivations. Well done, sir or madam. I salute you.

I'm very hungry!

No, I don't want that!

Carry, give me the JAM(s).

[martianmister]

What I mean to say is, I appreciate that you've constructed a relatively subtle yet scathing critique of the basic concept of pitting two completely different objects/persons/settings/philosophies against eachother solely for vicarious entertainment value, usually under blatantly contrived scenario conditions, victory parameters, and/or assumed motivations. Well done, sir or madam. I salute you.

Are you sure that's the point of thread?

[Carry2]

Are you sure that's the point of thread?
http://bestofcalvinandhobbes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/f14.png

There tend to be two principle reactions to this sort of thing. (As usual, I'm with Hobbes.)

You had me at Blackwing in a mech. I mean, I didn't even need to read further. Nothing could beat Blackwing in a mech.

Carry, give me the JAM(s).
*sighs* Very well. While we're on the subject of aerial stealth dinosaurs, this seems appropriate (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KES5yY16t3o&list=PL2MOqm0LLE2VMHVrXyXFJ38QPh-BFeMpE).

[DeliaP]

But who would win in this battle?

Luna_Mayflower vs. David Argall

:smalleek:

[Luna_Mayflower]

But who would win in this battle?

Luna_Mayflower vs. David Argall

:smalleek:

Oh, silly you. It's Luna Mayflower, not Luna_Mayflower. Thankfully I don't have an underscore in my real name.

Anyway, who wins between me and Dave. Simple, we don't fight, we just eat marshmallows and watch Redcloak's cooking hour!

:redcloak: :redcloak: :redcloak: :redcloak: "Here we have some RC cola, lol, get it? And some pop rocks. I'm gonna eat them because Xykie said I had to and I have no guts. Well, I won't after this! Ho ho!"

[cheesecake]

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ2R_xooRFvbyO27lIkjdN26tX7DCrR0 qaloPM6sC-qzUblYi1y

Seriously haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Made me feel much better today.

[137beth]

But who would win in this battle?

Luna_Mayflower vs. David Argall

:smalleek:

Well Luna wins, but that was too easy, so let's make it more interesting:
--Luna gets to carry a chewy Varsuvius-pop
--Luna gets the books that happen to be sitting on my desk right now
--Although Luna gets a Varsuvius-pop, David gets a CAMEL-pop, which is actually two Varsuvius pops (since V is half camel)
--David gets three of Belkar's daggers
--David also gets Haley's +10 Icy Burst (MAX DC) Disjoining Death Bow of Doom
--Due to the fact that David is actually multiple people (which is the reason he always uses first-person-plural), and a 1 vs. many fight would not be fare, any of Luna's hallucinations also join the fight.
--Carry2 is split in half (creating two Carry1s) and Carry1 fights against his arch-rival, the other Carry1, in the same arena as Luna and David.
--Elan's illusions are also fighting against Luna. Elan himself is allied with Luna, but has no spells remaining and broke his rapier when he killed Xykon
--Anyone who has ever called something in OOTS a dues ex machina fights on Luna's side. Anyone who has ever called something in OOTS filler fights on David's side. People who have used both phrases get cloned.
--Zimmer1915 is dueling Varsuvius (who is entirely seperate from the 3 Varsuvius-pops mentioned earlier) in the arena next door, but V has not tranced in months and so poorly aimed spells fly into the Luna vs David fight. This gives a small boost to David since he has a higher will save.
--This thread is fighting against the picture of the cat that cheesecake just posted

Who wins?

[Anatares]

This is seriously the greatest thread of all time.

[137beth]

Okay, now have this thread face off against Trekkin's "what am I suppose to do" thread!

[Luna_Mayflower]

Well Luna wins, but that was too easy, so let's make it more interesting:
--Luna gets to carry a chewy Varsuvius-pop
--Luna gets the books that happen to be sitting on my desk right now
--Although Luna gets a Varsuvius-pop, David gets a CAMEL-pop, which is actually two Varsuvius pops (since V is half camel)
--David gets three of Belkar's daggers
--David also gets Haley's +10 Icy Burst (MAX DC) Disjoining Death Bow of Doom
--Due to the fact that David is actually multiple people (which is the reason he always uses first-person-plural), and a 1 vs. many fight would not be fare, any of Luna's hallucinations also join the fight.
--Carry2 is split in half (creating two Carry1s) and Carry1 fights against his arch-rival, the other Carry1, in the same arena as Luna and David.
--Elan's illusions are also fighting against Luna. Elan himself is allied with Luna, but has no spells remaining and broke his rapier when he killed Xykon
--Anyone who has ever called something in OOTS a dues ex machina fights on Luna's side. Anyone who has ever called something in OOTS filler fights on David's side. People who have used both phrases get cloned.
--Zimmer1915 is dueling Varsuvius (who is entirely seperate from the 3 Varsuvius-pops mentioned earlier) in the arena next door, but V has not tranced in months and so poorly aimed spells fly into the Luna vs David fight. This gives a small boost to David since he has a higher will save.
--This thread is fighting against the picture of the cat that cheesecake just posted

Who wins?

Ah. Now this is a battle. However, one must be reminded of two things: My 'Battle Organiser' class gives great Will save benefits (You should now, having taken a level in it now). Also, you must remember that you said "any" of my hallucinations join with me. The amount I see in a day... it would have the effect of a Weird spell, but with MAX DC! Horrors of every delight appear to me, at least when I summon them.

Speaking of this, I chatted with Xykie the other day. He told me that he wanted me to be a ghost so we could spend the rest of time together, but thankfully I have a decent CHA, so I'll come back as a Ghost when I die. Yay.

Aww, but really, I could beat Dave, but I'd need one thing: a bit of scaffold! Forget guns, I'll take my scaffold! Also, I get to revive Red_Fire for being banned, since his offensive writings will make Dave cry.


Still collecting votes for Round 3! Make your choice heard!

[Klear]

http://bestofcalvinandhobbes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/f14.png

There tend to be two principle reactions to this sort of thing. (As usual, I'm with Hobbes.)

Really? You really think that this is stupid?

http://www.superdickery.com/images/stories/other/pagecover.jpg

...um.. I mean, of course it's stupid, but that's completely overshadowed by the sheer awesomeness.

So I guess I vote Blackwing in a mech for round 3.

[Luna_Mayflower]

Blackwing's winning so far, but anything can happen.

[137beth]

Ah. Now this is a battle. However, one must be reminded of two things: My 'Battle Organiser' class gives great Will save benefits (You should now, having taken a level in it now). Also, you must remember that you said "any" of my hallucinations join with me. The amount I see in a day... it would have the effect of a Weird spell, but with MAX DC! Horrors of every delight appear to me, at least when I summon them.

Speaking of this, I chatted with Xykie the other day. He told me that he wanted me to be a ghost so we could spend the rest of time together, but thankfully I have a decent CHA, so I'll come back as a Ghost when I die. Yay.

Aww, but really, I could beat Dave, but I'd need one thing: a bit of scaffold! Forget guns, I'll take my scaffold! Also, I get to revive Red_Fire for being banned, since his offensive writings will make Dave cry.


Still collecting votes for Round 3! Make your choice heard!

Oops, I forgot about the high will save from Battle Organizer...
but remember, I never specified that all your hallucinations would join you, just that they would join the fight, on one side or the other:smallamused: