Death Chicken!

[BenShums]

So my DM's house-ruling a feat for me called "Proficient with chickens", meaning I can whack an enemy with a chicken. I'm playing a level 5 orc barbarian with 10,500 gp.

With 10,500 gp, what can I do to beef up my chicken?

I was thinking of putting spiked armor on it, for 1d3 damage + strength. (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Armor_Spikes)
What else?

[BenShums]

Any clever ideas on what I can do with a chicken in general?

[Nettlekid]

....Please tell me you've heard of this (http://brilliantgameologists.com/boards/index.php?topic=7652.0) (reply 9 specifically).

Vow of Poverty might be pretty good to make them +5 chickens which defeat DR X/Good. Similarly, the Paladin spell Holy Sword/Lawful Sword can make them +5 Holy Chickens or +5 Axiomatic Chickens.

I also vote Bloodstorm Blade so that you can Power Attack/Shock Trooper/Leap Attack/Heedless Charge and two-handedly hurl your chickens at your foes to deal BAB*6 damage with every Free Range Missile.

[Slipperychicken]

Any clever ideas on what I can do with a chicken in general?

Cast Grease on it.

[NeoPhoenix0]

Step 1: disguise yourself as the target
Step 2: whack a chicken until it summons a storm of angry invincible chickens
Step 3: lose the disguise
Step 4: ... (fans of ocarina of time should know)
Step 5: porfit

I heard about a build from a friend where a guy tripped his pet chicken so he could throw it at an opponent. I'm not sure how it worked though.

[Nettlekid]

I heard about a build from a friend where a guy tripped his pet chicken so he could throw it at an opponent. I'm not sure how it worked though.

Just based on that description, it sounds like it has something to do with Swordsage and the various Setting Sun maneuvers that let you trip your foe and throw them, potentially into another enemy for damage.

[NeoPhoenix0]

Just based on that description, it sounds like it has something to do with Swordsage and the various Setting Sun maneuvers that let you trip your foe and throw them, potentially into another enemy for damage.

That could be it. I don't use ToB. Maybe there is a low level maneuver that could be leaned with a feat?

[Waddacku]

Acquire fire resistance 6+ or fire immunity for it and set it on fire.

[TheWombatOfDoom]

Make sure you protect the chicken in some way, or it will be dead after one feathery thwack to the enemy. :smallfrown:

[TripleD]

I'm going to go out on a limb and say this is a humorous camapaign? In that case, to quote McBain, "Let's get silly".

Bestow Curse (Petrification): Upon hearing a certain trigger phrase, perhaps "Rock Out With My **** Out!"*, the chicken turns to solid stone and deals damage as a club of some kind. Saying a second phrase, maybe "Nuggetify!"*, restores it's poultry-ness. Chickens that have won 1st prize in livestock show count as masterwork weapons and can be enchanted as such.

Lycanthropy - Col. Clunky is no ordinary chicken. No, your little friend has been touched by the moon. By expanding two tricks, and a DC 25 Handle Animal, you teach her to activate her curse mid flight after being thrown by you (with proficiency). "Hah, what is this fool doing throwing a chicken at OH GOD GET THIS BEAR OFF MY FACE!!!"

Bantam-borine: Why limit yourself to just weapons? If you're playing a bard you could argue that "proficiency" counts as an instrument as well. Most likely some sort of percussion device, but a bagpipe-style contraption is not out of the question.

Chick-On-A-Stick: Tie the chicken to the end of a quarterstaff. Now it's a reach weapon. Teach the chicken to grab with it's claws and it's a trip weapon as well.

Egg-splosive Runes: Find a way to have them pop out with the runes already transcribed and you'll have the gift that keeps on giving.

*Alternative Phrases
"Stop! Hen-mer Time!"/"Rooster Booster"
"Cluck This!"/"This Club Is Off The Hook"
"And My Bird Can Kill"/"Here Comes The Sun"