Gamer Humor Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: Pun & Pun, Rules-Attorneys at Law [Archive] - Page 5

Scow2

2014-02-07, 11:57 PM

*The two assassins sent after the party were supposed to be a flavorful addition to the world, but ultimately a random encounter to let the players handle a situation - not an excuse for them to adopt the survivor as the new PC for the guy who just joined.
** Letting the human sorcerer overchannel to summon a demon-dragon then lose control of it to serve as a mutual threat to justify the allegiance change was a bad idea.
*I made the ship captain they met be a slaveholder and rapist so they'd have no qualms about killing him, freeing his crew, and commandeering his ship to advance the plot. They were NOT supposed to see him as a sympathetic character and get someone else to play him!

*Even if my group is low on players, letting them grab others hanging around the den to hijack my NPCs to get players into the game is an experiment that was doomed to failure that I must try again next time I get the chance.

Doorhandle

2014-02-08, 01:16 AM

*The proper response to "this will be a difficult campaign" is not to make a PC that could easily level the countryside in one blow
**nor is it to make one more destructive than that, either.

*Less destruction is acceptable. It is understood that this means a LOT less destruction, not "one damage die lower."

*Cannot name my insane halfing sorcerer "Demon sultan Azathoth."
*He is only the centre of the universe in his own mind.
*He is sure as hell not radioactive.
*Cannot designate any random player character as my "Evil vizier" just to keep myself sharp.
* Chaos bolt, as of current errata, does not bounce between friends. It is wrong to tell the D.M this.

GPuzzle

2014-02-08, 01:57 AM

*I will not play a Goblin Bard/Druid/Rogue/Wizard/Sorcerer/Barbarian/Monk/Cleric/Paladin/Fighter/Ranger.
** The party will not be made out of Goblins.

*If my weapon's damage is a 9/10, it can't be on the Richter Scale.

Prince Raven

2014-02-08, 03:05 AM

*No playing a vampire assassin who dual-wields heavily enchanted hand crossbows.
**He does not have a female town guard thrall
***He did not have a relationship with the Queen
****A vampire aristocrat who fights with wires is right out!

If one of my players did this I would be thrilled to run Hellsing D&D.

Deremir

2014-02-08, 02:26 PM

*I will not play a Goblin Bard/Druid/Rogue/Wizard/Sorcerer/Barbarian/Monk/Cleric/Paladin/Fighter/Ranger.
** The party will not be made out of Goblins.

***I may not give up all not combat essential aspects of my fighter to become great.
****my cleric may not worship the dungeon master
*****the demons name is not walter
******nor is it bob
*******or george
********or sam
*********or grinnora... dang it

unseenmage

2014-02-08, 05:30 PM

* I may not play an entire warband of goblins.
** No, not even if the CR to HD ratio does match up.
*** No not even in 4E where it would appear to be a viable homebrew.

Sith_Happens

2014-02-10, 11:49 AM

* I may not make a character that fights with a spiked chain in a extremely small bikini.
** ...Yes, I did just use the sentence "You can't spell 'stripper' without 'tripper.'"
*** No need to get the handcuffs, I'm escorting myself to Pun Jail for that one.

SouthpawSoldier

2014-02-10, 12:00 PM

*May no longer make references to strippers in handcuffs.
** This especially includes male strippers and Chinese finger cuffs.
***Nor may I offer to "share" Chinese fingercuffs.
****I have to leave my Cards against Humanity at home, for the sake of Humanity.

Wookieetank

2014-02-10, 12:37 PM

*May not use randomly drawn cards from Cards Against Humanity
**Doing the same with Apples to Apples is also frowned upon
***Even if it was the DM's idea in the first place

GPuzzle

2014-02-10, 02:36 PM

Arkhosia

2014-02-10, 02:38 PM

*My bard may be blind.
**he can be a human named Ray, yes.
***His preferred instrument is a piano? Well, okay...
****His last name is Charles? Wait a minute...

Ksheep

2014-02-10, 05:19 PM

* My bard may not write a comedy called "How to Train Your Dragonborn"
** Nor may he write a tragedy titled "Beauty and the Beastmaster"
*** An epic titled "The Warforged of the Worlds", "Star Warforged", "World Warforged Z", and/or "Charlie Wilson's Warforged" are also disallowed
**** The same goes for "The Day The Earth Dwarf Stood Still"
***** And again for "A Beautiful Mindflayer"
****** Not allowed to write a song titled "The Catfolk Came Back" either
******* Definitely not allowed to show up with the screenplay/lyrics for any of the above at the beginning of the session for extra RP exp
******** Especially if I try to pull this stunt every session

GPuzzle

2014-02-10, 05:34 PM

NightbringerGGZ

2014-02-10, 06:41 PM

* I am not allowed to play a Kokiri Cavalier riding a giant Cucoo in my Zelda-themed PF game. Even if the character winds up being completely rules legal.

** I am not allowed to optimize for DR and AC to the point that I can't be damaged. Especially on small-sized mounted characters.

*** If I'm playing anything like said character, I shouldn't be out damaging the rest of the party by a significant factor.

Necroticplague

2014-02-10, 06:52 PM

*if the rest of the party complains about my damage output, i will not nova myself into killing the rest of them all in one flare of magic.

SouthpawSoldier

2014-02-10, 06:57 PM

*My female Favored Soul cannot be named Anne Alone.
** Her catchphrase and nickname will not be "I can!"
***She cannot Nova
**** I am not a Light Side Nexus.

Necroticplague

2014-02-10, 06:59 PM

*similarly to before, complaints about the partie's lack of plot impact will not be solved by Locate City Bombing a large chunk of the setting.

Socratov

2014-02-10, 07:06 PM

*My Bard doesn't sing Psycho Killer when the Fighter kills an enemy.
**He also doesn't sing TNT when the Wizard uses a burst/blast.
***He doesn't sing Iron Man when the Warforged Warlock kills an enemy.
****He can't sing Hungry Like the Wolf when the Druid kills someone.
*****My Bard is mute. Period.
******No, he isn't deaf and blind either.
*******And he cannot play a mean pinball.

*My bard may be blind.
**he can be a human named Ray, yes.
***His preferred instrument is a piano? Well, okay...
****His last name is Charles? Wait a minute...

I love you guys!

unseenmage

2014-02-10, 07:17 PM

* My albino Grippli Bard is no longer allowed to sing 'It's Not Easy Bein Pale' for every bardic music ability.
** Even if I did rewrite the entire song on the fly mid combat.
*** I am to desist humming that infernal tune!
**** Yes, it is my tone-deafness that earned me that DMG shaped lump on the noggin.
***** No my bard is not allowed to write or perform a blues number about the above experience.

GPuzzle

2014-02-10, 07:35 PM

*To break the fourth wall, my Barbarian doesn't need to make an attack against it.

FabulousFizban

2014-02-10, 07:54 PM

Dire Panda

2014-02-10, 10:39 PM

* I may not research a Wall of Peasants spell to delay pursuit by hungry dragons.
* * If I do research such a spell, the DM is within their rights to make at least one of the peasants a close relative of our frenzied berserker.
* * * No matter how quickly I roll him up, my new character cannot be one of the peasants from the wall. I must wait until the next session.
* * Any dragon which is still hungry after getting through the wall was probably one we shouldn't have been fighting in the first place.
* * I do not get a bonus on Diplomacy checks for offering NPCs use of my "Wall of Sexual Favors." Generally the authorities will be called.

* I may not research a Wall of Text spell whose damage depends on the length of the DM's last monologue.

* No longer allowed to cast wall spells.

Ksheep

2014-02-10, 11:30 PM

* When starting a session, I may not say "When we last left our antiheroes…"
** Nor may I call the PCs "villains
*** If I do either of the above, I shouldn't be surprised if they start ignoring the plot and/or turn evil
**** I'm still not allowed to use either of the above if they STARTED OFF by ignoring the plot and/or turning evil

Doorhandle

2014-02-11, 12:24 AM

* I may not research a Wall of Text spell whose damage depends on the length of the DM's last monologue.

Reminds me of the last evil cleric my group fought. He spent his surprise round monolouging.

Was quite a dangerous fight though, so I can forgive him for it. Also, 4x crits are scary and he had a heavy pick.

Spore

2014-02-11, 04:35 AM

Reminds me of the last evil cleric my group fought. He spent his surprise round monolouging.

DMing done right!

Sith_Happens

2014-02-11, 07:42 AM

* When starting a session, I may not say "When we last left our antiheroes…"

** "Previously on Dragonball Z..." is right out.

Prince Raven

2014-02-11, 08:00 AM

** "Previously on Dragonball Z..." is right out.
*** I may no longer begin sessions by summarising all the terrible things the PCs did in the last session

unseenmage

2014-02-11, 08:08 AM

* Even if the DM did foolishly decide to DM for ten players I may not refer to them all by MtG Ravnica Guild names.
** Even if we are all MtG players.
*** Especially as we're playing in the card shop across the room from folk playing MtG.
**** Having my character loudly shout MtG terminology which is confusing enough it lures the MtG players to our table is right out.

* When we are finally split into two groups I'm not alowed to play in both.
** Not allowed to declare attacks, vengeance, or family feud with characters in the other group either.
*** I must now remain in my own chair at all times and am only allowed to speak when spoken to.
**** When spoken to by the DM.

GPuzzle

2014-02-11, 11:35 AM

*The Paladin cannot try to use the Avenger as a sword.
**That doesn't mean the Avenger is an heretic and therefore unholy.

Jurai

2014-02-11, 11:49 AM

*Batman wins every fight.
**Batman is immune to the effects of Wish, Miracle, Reality Revision, Gate, and all spells of negative first level or higher.
***I am not allowed to make Batman.

Lord Raziere

2014-02-12, 05:22 AM

* Batman does not win every fight.
** nor does Squirrel Girl, Xanatos, Chuck Norris or Superman
*** arguing with the GM about that will only result in more dead favorite characters.
**** No the GM does not care if they were proven to be able to defeat this or that, all is imperfect and all get defeated by something someday, no matter how good they are.
***** No the GM does not care how popular of a meme it is on the internet, or what a fandom thinks, or a bunch of gathered "proof". They are characters. Not idols. They can die and be beaten. Deal with it.

Sith_Happens

2014-02-12, 10:24 AM

*The Paladin cannot try to use the Avenger as a sword.
**That doesn't mean the Avenger is an heretic and therefore unholy.

** Successfully doing so does not make them a Holy Avenger.

* Batman does not win every fight.
** nor does Squirrel Girl, Xanatos, Chuck Norris or Superman
*** arguing with the GM about that will only result in more dead favorite characters.
**** No the GM does not care if they were proven to be able to defeat this or that, all is imperfect and all get defeated by something someday, no matter how good they are.
***** No the GM does not care how popular of a meme it is on the internet, or what a fandom thinks, or a bunch of gathered "proof". They are characters. Not idols. They can die and be beaten. Deal with it.

****** Killing jokes does not give XP.

Lord Raziere

2014-02-12, 10:38 AM

****** Killing jokes does not give XP.

******* But they do make Batman laugh.

:smallcool:

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHH.

Sith_Happens

2014-02-12, 11:16 AM

******* But they do make Batman laugh.

:smallcool:

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHH.

I'd like to say that I planned that, but I didn't. So touché.

Sith_Happens

2014-02-12, 08:30 PM

* Just because "[Insert real-life celebrity] is actually a Fetch; I'm the real thing" is a completely possible character concept in Changeling: The Lost does not mean I can actually use it.

Arkhosia

2014-02-12, 08:36 PM

*I may not play a female paladin of Pelor named Joan
**or a male paladin of pelor who lied his way into paladin school named Jaune

unseenmage

2014-02-12, 08:40 PM

* Just because a character gains phenomenal cosmic power does not mean he has to live in a lamp.
** Shrink Item-ing the character's home Stronghold is likewise not obligatory.
*** Unless the player Wish farms, that earns them an instantaneous transformation into a lamp-dwelling Wish granting creature of the DM's choice.

Socksy

2014-02-13, 09:56 AM

* Can't refer to the WIS 5 rogue's Will save as a Won't save.

illyahr

2014-02-13, 12:23 PM

* Can't refer to the WIS 5 rogue's Will save as a Won't save.

Ok, this is kind of funny. :smallbiggrin:

GrayGriffin

2014-02-13, 12:31 PM

* No longer allowed to make crack ships of my fellow PCs with anime characters
** Especially when the only thing they have in common is a bug theme
*** Even if everyone but said PC is entertained by it

Ksheep

2014-02-13, 12:54 PM

* I am not allowed to buy second-hand familiars
** I am not allowed to sell second-hand familiars
*** Especially if the familiar was originally owned by the recently-deceased spell caster of the party
**** Doubly so if we plan on resurrecting him
***** Not allowed to make a bluff check and tell the now-resurected spell caster that his familiar died in battle at his side
****** There is no market for second-hand familiars, no demand for it, so don't even bother asking
******* The same goes for animal companions

Socksy

2014-02-13, 01:18 PM

*There is no place for suvat in the Forgotten Realms.
**Nor calculus.
***Nor impulse calculations.
****Nor anything else from my A-level Mechanics course.
*****Especially if not everybody at the table knows the required maths.
******Especially not if I'm playing a psion with Telekinetic Thrust.

Hyena

2014-02-13, 01:40 PM

* DM doesn't care if I am going to scream bloody murder and CRPG syndrome. When shopkeeper dies, all the magic items vaporize.
** Next time I seduce a barmaid, she turns out to be a succubus. We don't have a cleric in the party, do we?

* If I am playing Star Wars during the clone wars era, I may not steal everything that is not nailed down from the Jedi Temple using the justification "They won't need all this stuff very soon".
** DM does not care if my skills allow me to disguise myself as the Emperor so good, that the Emperor himself will be fooled by it. I am not hijacking his throne.

Mrc.

2014-02-13, 03:54 PM

*I may not play a female paladin of Pelor named Joan
**or a male paladin of pelor who lied his way into paladin school named Jaune

*** No matter how hard I argue, a low-powered low-magic setting can't have any characters from RWBY in it. Because they're all too powerful that's why. And I'm the DM. :smallannoyed:

GPuzzle

2014-02-13, 03:55 PM

*** No matter how hard I argue, a low-powered low-magic setting can't have any characters from RWBY in it. Because they're all too powerful that's why. And I'm the DM. :smallannoyed:
****And no matter how hard I argue, we can't play that RWBY RPG I built from scratch.

Mrc.

2014-02-13, 03:59 PM

****And no matter how hard I argue, we can't play that RWBY RPG I built from scratch.

*****Even if it works
******ESPECIALLY if it works

Doorhandle

2014-02-13, 05:38 PM

No matter how hard I argue, a low-powered low-magic setting can't have any characters from RWBY in it. Because they're all too powerful that's why. And I'm the DM
*As a G.M, cannot choose to selectively hear "pony" as "Tikablang," "Jersey devil" or "Nuckelavee."

Next time I seduce a barmaid, she turns out to be a succubus. We don't have a cleric in the party, do we?
*Not allowed to have an item of permanent dearth ward JUST so I can screw succubi without penalty.
**You're paying childcare for the little hellspawn. Just so you know.

Mrc.

2014-02-13, 05:52 PM

*Not allowed to have an item of permanent dearth ward JUST so I can screw succubi without penalty.
**You're paying childcare for the little hellspawn. Just so you know.

***"It's so worth it" will result in several polyhedrals embedded in your face.

Sith_Happens

2014-02-13, 11:58 PM

****And no matter how hard I argue, we can't play that RWBY RPG I built from scratch.

Link. NOW.

Ksheep

2014-02-14, 12:27 AM

Link. NOW.

Here you go (http://static1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090805043447/zelda/images/a/aa/Link_Artwork_3_(Twilight_Princess).png)

I'll see myself out now

Erik Vale

2014-02-14, 02:23 AM

*Open's link*
*Gets confused*
*Relizes*
:smallbiggrin: ROFLMAO :smallbiggrin:

GPuzzle

2014-02-14, 03:14 AM

Link. NOW.

Sorry, I actually wrote down the rules in paper and never wrote it in the PC. Might do it fairly soon, though.

Living_Dead_Guy

2014-02-14, 05:25 AM

Arkhosia

2014-02-14, 09:13 AM

* You may not bring a live chicken to sacrifice to the dice gods.
** Or any other living creature.

*** No the prince does not have permission to gamble away his kingdom his kingdom
**** No Roshambo is not a legitimate medieval game
***** Even if it was, you must dictate the rules of a contest before playing

On a serious note DnD is banned in prisons :smallfrown:

If it was:
*If I play DnD with the big guy who's in here for murder, if his PC dies I will not be surprised at an ensuing shanking
**Playing with Bob the Friendly Robber means I'm not to be surprised if my dice go "missing".
***If I'm on death row, I cannot figure out how to set up a DnD game with said players again so I can troll them by being executed just as the story reaches it's climax.

Wookieetank

2014-02-14, 09:28 AM

Here you go (http://static1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090805043447/zelda/images/a/aa/Link_Artwork_3_(Twilight_Princess).png)

I'll see myself out now

Bwa hahahahahahaha! :smallbiggrin: Well played.

If it was:
*If I play DnD with the big guy who's in here for murder, if his PC dies I will not be surprised at an ensuing shanking
**Playing with Bob the Friendly Robber means I'm not to be surprised if my dice go "missing".
***If I'm on death row, I cannot figure out how to set up a DnD game with said players again so I can troll them by being executed just as the story reaches it's climax.

****May not smuggle in d4s to use as caltrops in my escape attmpt
*****Not to be surprised by solitary confinement after my d4 aided escape attempt fails.

unseenmage

2014-02-14, 10:23 AM

* A meticulous recreation of the Saint Valentines Day Massacre doesn't count as the wife's Valentine's Day present.
** Even if the plot was leading up to this moment since last Valentine's Day.

Socksy

2014-02-14, 02:14 PM

* If paladins in my campaign are of the more-lawful-less-good variety, and are dedicated to defeating chaos, I should probably tell the CG, CG, CG, NG party that before they meet one.

Spore

2014-02-14, 02:32 PM

Doorhandle

2014-02-14, 07:35 PM

LN Paladins aren't as threatening imho. Because they are predictable. If it crosses the law, they can't do it. :)

I dunno. They can get away with a lot If they have a licence for it. :smallbiggrin:

Necroticplague

2014-02-14, 07:40 PM

I dunno. They can get away with a lot If they have a licence for it. :smallbiggrin:

And someone who follows the law exactly will eventually get very good at finding loopholes in it.

Deremir

2014-02-15, 01:51 AM

*Not allowed to have an item of permanent dearth ward JUST so I can screw succubi without penalty.
**You're paying childcare for the little hellspawn. Just so you know.

.*no you cant reroll as the baby
**your ecxuse for why it aged 20 years means nothing
*** if you you do so you cant go and seduce an angel just so you can reroll as the devil/angel/human baby
****what? you want to add what into the mix? no. just no.
*****if your character acumulates more than 4 half______ templates angels will smite it for being an abomination

Adanedhel

2014-02-15, 03:11 AM

* If paladins in my campaign are of the more-lawful-less-good variety, and are dedicated to defeating chaos, I should probably tell the CG, CG, CG, NG party that before they meet one.

**Having the Paladins worship a deity called Javert does not make things any better if that wasn't known before they met said Paladin.

*** If those Paladins start to smite chaos, the Bard has every right to start singing 'The Confrontation' as Valjean.

****For once, this includes singing OoC.

Socksy

2014-02-15, 09:15 AM

* Not allowed to play a character based on a mathematical concept, and slowly drop hints until the DM makes a groan of realisation, ever again.

Sith_Happens

2014-02-15, 03:40 PM

* Not allowed to play a character based on a mathematical concept, and slowly drop hints until the DM makes a groan of realisation, ever again.

Details please.

hemming

2014-02-16, 05:42 AM

*I may not give an NPC a name with 7 vowels

*I may not create a character with the long term goal of setting up a pun (i.e. Heinz can spot 20 men hiding from 20 leagues away - that's why we say Heinz sight is 20/20)

*I may not create a message board in the village that is under constant threat from nearby trolls who do not like the postings

Socksy

2014-02-16, 07:15 AM

Details please.

> Wood elf? Sure
> Percussion-using Bard? Nothing wrong with that.
> Almost three centuries old? Yeah, sure. You want the extra CHA point, right?
> Her father studied numbers? Sure, why not. Always nice to have an NPC given to you via backstory.
> She has... Famous curves? I guess, it's not like it's a really low-level campaign.
> ...Wait, how old is she exactly, did you say? 2.72 centuries?
> Dammit! Your wood elf bard is not log-a-rhythmic!

Something like that :D

Sith_Happens

2014-02-16, 01:07 PM

> Wood elf? Sure
> Percussion-using Bard? Nothing wrong with that.
> Almost three centuries old? Yeah, sure. You want the extra CHA point, right?
> Her father studied numbers? Sure, why not. Always nice to have an NPC given to you via backstory.
> She has... Famous curves? I guess, it's not like it's a really low-level campaign.
> ...Wait, how old is she exactly, did you say? 2.72 centuries?
> Dammit! Your wood elf bard is not log-a-rhythmic!

Something like that :D

*thumbs-up*

(I just hope you were planning on multiclassing into Druid or Ranger. You know, so she'd be both natural and log-a-rhythmic.)

Silus

2014-02-16, 02:01 PM

Though the ban on this has not yet come for me, I'm doing a preemptive "I may no longer do this".

*I may no longer play a Minotaur.
**I may no longer play a Minotaur Luchador.
***I may no longer refer to him as a "Moochador"
****And the name "El Heffer" is not allowed, even if it's a clever variation on "El Hefe"
*****And no more Hulk Hogan + Macho Man Randy Savage voice. Ever.

Slipperychicken

2014-02-16, 02:36 PM

*To break the fourth wall, my Barbarian doesn't need to make an attack against it.

**Bull-Rushing enemies into the fourth wall does not deal extra damage.

***I may not use the fourth wall as an anchor for a Web spell.

unseenmage

2014-02-16, 02:49 PM

**Bull-Rushing enemies into the fourth wall does not deal extra damage.

***I may not use the fourth wall as an anchor for a Web spell.

**** Under no circumstances can I Animate a section of the fourth wall.

***** No, there is NO price adjustment high enough to make the walls of my Stronghold from fourth wall material.

Socksy

2014-02-16, 03:02 PM

*I may not create a message board in the village that is under constant threat from nearby trolls who do not like the postings

**No, Flaming weapons do not work like that. In fact, trolls are extra vulnerable to fire!

SouthpawSoldier

2014-02-16, 04:52 PM

Slipperychicken

2014-02-16, 05:41 PM

**No, Flaming weapons do not work like that. In fact, trolls are extra vulnerable to fire!

***Internet troll Bards, however, are resistant to [flame] and use it as their preferred weapon.

****I may not make PCs roll Composure to resist the urge to respond to trolls' posting.

GPuzzle

2014-02-16, 05:51 PM

*I cannot be the son of Hernández.
**I cannot go to Damián's house.
***I cannot have told my father, as a child, that I don't wanna be like him when I grow up.
****I should know what to do with myself.
*****I should stop quoting Uruguyan bands that I'm the only one who hears in the middle of the session.
******I cannot play said songs so people will have heard the songs.

In case anyone is wondering, I was singing Cuarteto de Nos and the songs are El Hijo de Hernández(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMW3giznx-U), Yendo a la Casa de Damián(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7XcO81TckU), Cuando Sea Grande(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9LlnLTH87U) and Ya no sé qué hacer Conmigo(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ae9_FVR_MQ), respectively.

Socksy

2014-02-17, 03:01 AM

*Just because there are no half-Maenads doesn't mean the Maenad Bard can sleep with whoever he wants as long as she isn't another Maenad.
** No, perform (oratory) does not work like that.
*** That's it, you are now the father to a beautiful brood of half-Dragon wyrmlings.

Sith_Happens

2014-02-17, 05:11 AM

** No, perform (oratory) does not work like that.

*** That NPC meant that she needed use of my Bardic Knowledge and extensive language list, and I am not to pretend I didn't know that.

Lord Raziere

2014-02-17, 05:17 AM

*** That's it, you are now the father to a beautiful brood of half-Dragon wyrmlings.

**** No you can't start teaching the children how to steal
***** Or set things on fire
****** Or make things explode
******* Or teach them to do anything ever
******** you cannot use my children as minions at all.
********* Y'know what screw it, your children all die and your wife is out to murder you.
********** No this does not mean now is a good time to get a new girlfriend so that you can "rebuild your army".

Socratov

2014-02-17, 05:46 AM

*Flaming doesn't mean what I think it means;
**No, my sword doesn't sing Broadway hits;
***Sure, I can play a Halfling Bard. Sure, he can take ranks in Perform "Dance" and Perform "Sing". But naming him/her "Little Richard Simmons"? Right out.

****I am however allowed to make a cha 18 human bard with the versatile performer feat for Perform(Award Ceremony), Perform(Sing), Perform(Oratory), Perform(Comedy) and pick all illusion spells and Glibness.
*****No, Perform(Award Ceremony) does not get synergy bonuses from eveyr other kind of Perform skill out there.
*Iron Heart Surge is not desribed as "Whenever I get _____, I stop being ____ and be awesome instead"
**Oh, it is?
***Well, you can't have it through Martial Study
****No, You are not a crusader on a quest for women's pants, nor do you have a prayerbook with techniques on how to aquire said items.
*****If you want a cod eof conduct so bad why don't you pick a paladin
******No, A paladin is to remain chaste
*******I don't care what your code of conduct says.
********Bards are now off limits.

Socksy

2014-02-17, 05:54 AM

********** No this does not mean now is a good time to get a new girlfriend so that you can "rebuild your army".

*********** That's it, your ranks in Diplomacy have all been shifted into Use Magic Device.

Sith_Happens

2014-02-17, 06:04 AM

*********** That's it, your ranks in Diplomacy have all been shifted into Use Magic Device.

************ THAT IS NOT WHAT WANDS ARE FOR.

Socksy

2014-02-17, 06:12 AM

[A whole bunch of stars] That's not what a protection scroll does either! I don't care what her alignment is!

Sith_Happens

2014-02-17, 06:20 AM

************* That's not what a protection scroll does either! I don't care what her alignment is!

(Added right number for you.)

************ No longer allowed anywhere near an Immovable Rod.

* I may not build a gun that fires asterisks and use this thread as a nigh-unlimited ammo source.

Socksy

2014-02-17, 06:59 AM

* Casting Shocking grasp won't cause the sorcerer/druid to become an ex-druid.
** Same applies to Electric orb.
*** Or Lightning bolt.
**** Neutral characters are allowed to hold an electrical charge without ceasing to be neutral, dammit!

DigoDragon

2014-02-17, 11:40 AM

We are no longer allowed to do the following:

The time lord may not weaponize self esteem.
Do not teach the unicorn how to use a firearm.
The martian is banned from doing any kind of research at Starbucks.
Vans with sliding side doors are now banned from the team's use.
We are no longer welcomed in Monte Carlo.
The unicorn is prohibited from being more stealthy than a ninja.
No matter how much explosives you use, a 5-story bank office will not double as an 'improvised rocket'.

Ksheep

2014-02-17, 12:53 PM

We are no longer allowed to do the following:

No matter how much explosives you use, a 5-story bank office will not double as an 'improvised rocket'.

** The solution to this problem is not "Add more boosters!"
*** Nor is it "Add more struts!"
**** I cannot use anything I learned in KSP in any of our campaigns…

Ionbound

2014-02-17, 01:19 PM

Socksy

2014-02-17, 01:54 PM

*Not allowed to kill off two level 6 characters with a sole CR4 monster.

*Spilling the Red Bull on the game board does not mean someone set off a mass Fly spell.
**Nor does it mean the Wood elf became an Avariel elf.
***Nor does it mean we all take Energy damage.
**** Nor are we all Hasted.
***** We do not have to break out the drowning rules, it only comes up to their ankles!
****** Just get a paper towel.:smallmad:

Ksheep

2014-02-17, 05:20 PM

From a published adventure (Party was level 6):

*Not allowed to have a Dragon as adversary to the melee focused party
**Certainly not allowed for this dragon to spend all of the combat 100 feet off the ground strafing the party.
***What do you mean he's also a level three Druid??
****No longer allowed to have any dragons show up in any campaign.

On a related note:

* Not allowed to have the White Dragon specifically target the spell caster that has fire spells
** Especially if this "targeting" means grabbing said spell caster and flying away with him
*** Doubly so if it dives off the 500' tall cliff that the battle is taking place on and into the water
**** Even if it's justified in wanting to put out the fire (and drown the spell caster)

* May not have a Roc steal the same spell caster the following session and try to feed that player to the baby rocs
** Even if I rolled randomly for who got grabbed, I shouldn't do it. The players might think I have it in for that character
*** May not tell them "No, I don't have it in for the Pyromancer, I have it in for the Summoner who recently got the ability to summon demons"
**** Especially if I haven't touched said Summoner in four sessions
***** It's not my fault that that player plays very cautiously

Slipperychicken

2014-02-17, 05:43 PM

On a related note:

* Not allowed to have the White Dragon specifically target the spell caster that has fire spells
** Especially if this "targeting" means grabbing said spell caster and flying away with him
*** Doubly so if it dives off the 500' tall cliff that the battle is taking place on and into the water
**** Even if it's justified in wanting to put out the fire (and drown the spell caster)

***** "At least he didn't drop you off that cliff" is not sufficient consolation for the bereaved player.

******Nor is "hey, at least you know to take Still Spell on your next character"

Lord Raziere

2014-02-17, 10:01 PM

* I may not yell "WHY? WHY? WHY?" in a crowded fae court when playing the Dresden Files.

DigoDragon

2014-02-17, 10:48 PM

Just get a paper towel.:smallmad:

LOL, perfectly timed.

Not allowed to use jacks on the game board as a deterrent against the roommate's cat jumping on the table. Cat's are liquid and just flow around them.
Not allowed to rub catnip on the druid's mini as a prank either. >_>

Prince Raven

2014-02-17, 11:14 PM

* Cats are not to be used as substitutes for miniatures
** Neither are hamsters
*** Using both cats and hamsters at the same time is a very bad idea

Slipperychicken

2014-02-17, 11:44 PM

Not allowed to use jacks on the game board as a deterrent against the roommate's cat jumping on the table. Cat's are liquid and just flow around them.

**Trying to drink live cats, however, is not a good idea.

***Using Prestidigitation to make peoples' drinks taste like cats will earn me enemies.

Spore

2014-02-18, 12:09 AM

**Trying to drink live cats, however, is not a good idea.

***Using Prestidigitation to make peoples' drinks taste like cats will earn me enemies.

Cats are liquids but so is fuel. Both are highly explosives if handled wrong.

**** You can't evade that Unholy Blight spell by spontaneously incinerating innocent creatures.
***** Not even as an prepared action.
****** Did you just quicken a Fireball to kill woodland creatures? No! Antimagic Field.
******* You have alchemical bombs to burn the forest? WITH A DRUID IN GROUP?
******** While alignment shifts happen, I cannot shift my alignment several times per session. You will become CE AFTER the battle.

Arkhosia

2014-02-18, 12:16 AM

*My wizard PC does not have a habit of taking his clothing off.
**My pyromancer does not have motion sickness and a flying cat familiar

Slipperychicken

2014-02-18, 01:07 AM

*My wizard PC does not have a habit of taking his clothing off.

**Saying "I put on my robe and wizard hat" in response will only make the situation worse.

Socksy

2014-02-18, 01:41 AM

* Invisibility affects your gear too. You do not need to be naked to use it!

* People with the Pyromaniac flaw are not allowed near large quantities of paper.
** This also applies in-character :smalltongue:

* No statting up anything I can't spell.

Socratov

2014-02-18, 05:52 AM

*My wizard PC does not have a habit of taking his clothing off.
**My pyromancer does not have motion sickness and a flying cat familiar

***There is no such thing as a key to the heavens as a focus for the Summon Monster line of spells. No, neither for gate, nor any other means of trans-dimensional travel.
****yes such keys would be valuable beyond belief
*****No, that does not mean you can find them all in your spell components pouch

Socksy

2014-02-18, 06:23 AM

***There is no such thing as a key to the heavens as a focus for the Summon Monster line of spells. No, neither for gate, nor any other means of trans-dimensional travel.
****yes such keys would be valuable beyond belief
*****No, that does not mean you can find them all in your spell components pouch

****** Cannot refluff the tuning forks necessary for planar travel to look like keys.

Hyena

2014-02-18, 08:20 AM

* When I DM, it's perfectly acceptable to create a reasonable and well-sounding villain with ideas.
** It's also acceptable to create unpleasant good guys.
*** However, when I do both, I may not be surprised when the party sides with the "bad guys".

DigoDragon

2014-02-18, 09:08 AM

Invisibility affects your gear too. You do not need to be naked to use it!

Memories of Mystery Men. :smalltongue:

Using Prestidigitation to make peoples' drinks taste like cats will earn me enemies.

I wouldn't even know what that would taste like...

Not allowed to subject such thought exercises upon my players.

Scow2

2014-02-18, 10:16 AM

*My wizard PC does not have a habit of taking his clothing off.
**Getting around this by having a habit of not getting dressed at all isn't an option either.

Wookieetank

2014-02-18, 10:19 AM

Memories of Mystery Men. :smalltongue:

I wouldn't even know what that would taste like...

Not allowed to subject such thought exercises upon my players.

**Hamster flavored beverages is also right out

KOedBarbarian

2014-02-18, 10:24 AM

*Upon defeating the nefarious lich after the loss of one or more party members, I should not immediately chug the remnants of his lich transformation potion 'to be sure no one else can use it'.
**I cannot be or replace the BBEG, even if the potion gives my barbarian 6 levels of wizard and telepathic contact with the lich king
***While hilarious, discussing these things with the DM via passed notes while the rest of the party looks on with mounting horror is not, apparently, how we should end the horror campaign
****I must now build a barbarian/wizard boss for a later campaign

Socksy

2014-02-18, 11:14 AM

* Basing my character off anyone from the Big Bang Theory is a no-no.

* What caused my knight to cease being an adventurer was not "A shrubbery to the ni"

may have stolen that one off a motivational poster... :p

Mekboy

2014-02-18, 12:20 PM

* Even if my character has just found out her parents are dead, she cannot spontaneously become Batman.
** Nor is it an excuse for the line 'My name is ______, you killed my parents, prepare to die'

unseenmage

2014-02-18, 12:23 PM

* Even if my character has just found out her parents are dead, she cannot spontaneously become Batman.
** Nor is it an excuse for the line 'My name is ______, you killed my parents, prepare to die'

*** Becoming Superman is right out.

illyahr

2014-02-18, 12:32 PM

****** Cannot refluff the tuning forks necessary for planar travel to look like keys.

*******Even though the Calling enchantment causes the equipment to become equipped to you, it does not allow you to keep several sets in reserve as they don't unequip the last item I equipped.

Wookieetank

2014-02-18, 12:37 PM

*******Even though the Calling enchantment causes the equipment to become equipped to you, it does not allow you to keep several sets in reserve as they don't unequip the last item I equipped.

********May not use this to effectively become Iron Man.

GPuzzle

2014-02-18, 12:39 PM

*I cannot derail the Western story by derailing the train out of its tracks and into the ravine.

*Okay, I'm not allowed to make a Paladin with maxed out Charisma just to use the pickup line of "you want to see what that maxed out Charisma is worth under the shiny armor?" on the Sorcerer.
**Even if the girl playing the Sorcerer is hitting on me.
***And the DM knows we have a crush on eachother and just stutter like crazy when I see her.

And an adenddum to the other player...

*No, a female Sorcerer that uses a Polearm as an implement cannot do "pole-dance" to try to charm the Paladin.

Hyena

2014-02-18, 12:48 PM

* Summon swarm permits bats, rats and spiders, not the bees.
** Don't say it. Don't you dare.

Arkhosia

2014-02-18, 12:51 PM

* Summon swarm permits bats, rats and spiders, not the bees.
** Don't say it. Don't you dare.

***Summoning a swarm of birds and bees is not how a seduction charm is cast

Red Fel

2014-02-18, 01:01 PM

* So you want to play a Kyton Bard? Well, this is a high-level game, so I guess...
** You're adventuring with the party because you are secretly artistically-natured, despite your frightful appearance, and wish to experience adventures and share them with the world? I guess that makes sense for a monstrous Bard, sure...
*** And you'll use your DR and regeneration to withstand various degrees of abuse, occasionally to comedic effect? Well, that's useful...
**** You're going to reproduce your adventures using Silent Image, reimagined with you in the starring role? Wait a minute...
***** Your Kyton's name is Buster? Okay, rocks fall, new campaign.

Socksy

2014-02-18, 02:19 PM

* Not to refer to the Dire Octopus as a tentacle monster.
** The dwarf fighter is not allowed to grapple the tentacle monster Dire Octopus. We don't need that mental image.
*** While the scantily-clad Maenad wilder and Elf bard simultaneously grappling with the Dire Octopus may be hot, nobody wants to figure out all the bonuses/penalties involved, so they don't get to fight it either.
**** Just kill it with your sword!

Hyena

2014-02-18, 02:30 PM

***Summoning a swarm of birds and bees is not how a seduction charm is cast
**** Not allowed to point out that a reference I made was to another medium, not birds and bee-
**** NOT THE BIRDS AND BEES, NOT THE BIRDS AND BEES, THEY ARE IN MY EYES

Socksy

2014-02-20, 04:21 AM

* If I make another lewd comment involving my Rod of Lordly Might, my Portable Hole, and my Salve of Slipperiness, I lose all three.

TuggyNE

2014-02-20, 04:34 AM

* If I make another lewd comment involving my Rod of Lordly Might, my Portable Hole, and my Salve of Slipperiness, I lose all three.

** Also something else.

Prince Raven

2014-02-20, 07:09 AM

* My Imperial Guarssman may no longer make sexual innuendo about deep striking Old One Eye through a Trygon tunnel.
** Power fisting the rear armour is also out.
*** My Halfling may no longer make innuendo about the elf being "openly fey", nor may he state that half elves "go both ways"
**** That's not even what the Innuendo skill is for.

Socksy

2014-02-20, 11:42 AM

***** And that is definitely not what silent image is for.

Jurai

2014-02-20, 11:50 AM

* Elves are not trees, and therefore do not have to make a Will save vs. Chainsaw.
** Elves are not grasses, and therefore do not have to make Will save vs. Cow.
*** Halflings must bathe more than once per century.

Hyena

2014-02-20, 12:14 PM

* If I have levels in jedi knight, sith apprentice, imperial knight and a dathomiri witch, I've got some explaining to do.

Jurai

2014-02-20, 12:38 PM

** If I have levels in Dread Necromancer and Paladin, I'd better have a VERY good reason.
***If I have levels in Blackguard and Holy Liberator, I'd better have a VERY Good reason.

Ionbound

2014-02-20, 12:41 PM

****If I have levels in Radiant Servant of Pelor and Pale Master, it better be because Pelor is the Burning Hate.

Hyena

2014-02-20, 12:43 PM

If I have levels in Dread Necromancer and Paladin
Impossiburu. Being one disqualifies you from being another. Paladin requires being lawful good, necro requires being nongood.

Red Fel

2014-02-20, 12:51 PM

****If I have levels in Radiant Servant of Pelor and Pale Master, it better be because Pelor is the Burning Hate.

***** Pelor is not the Burning Hate in this campaign.
****** Pelor is not the Burning Hate in any of my campaigns.
******* It's a funny joke on the forums, sure, but if you kill one more Cleric of Pelor under suspicion of serving the Burning Hate, Asmodeus will personally climb up out of Nessus and take you home in a basket.

******** . . . No more using Clerics of Pelor in rituals to summon Asmodeus.

Jurai

2014-02-20, 12:54 PM

Zytil

2014-02-20, 01:02 PM

*I am no longer allowed to play a cat with levels in soul eater.
**I am no longer allowed to play a cat. Of any description.

*I am no longer allowed to suggest the wizard set the fighter on fire, no matter how beneficial it may be, or how impossible it would have been to save his life.
**I am no longer allowed to suggest anything to the wizard.
***I am no longer allowed to play a wizard.

*I am no longer allowed to play characters with low wisdom scores.
**I am no longer allowed to convince the group to play characters with low wisdom scores.
***I am no longer allowed to talk to characters with low wisdom scores.

*I am no longer allowed to wield a spiked chain

*I am no longer allowed to play a race with LA.
**I am no longer allowed to use templates
***I am no longer allowed to use non-core races

Ksheep

2014-02-20, 01:28 PM

* So you want to play a custom class? Sure, if it's balanced
** Ranged fighter with limited spell casting? Doesn't sound much different from a ranger
*** He mostly uses guns? OK, I guess, but you'll have to make your own ammo
**** He's able to modify the guns to increase damage and ammo carrying capacity? Sure, why not
***** Wait, what spells can he learn anyway? Burning Hands, Summon Swarm, Sound Burst, Cone of Cold, Telekinesis… wait a second
****** No, you cannot play as Jack Wynand, and we are not playing in Rapture.
******* You aren't Booker DeWitt, either
******** You can't base anything off of Bioshock…

Socksy

2014-02-20, 02:12 PM

*I am no longer allowed to play a cat with levels in soul eater.

** I am definitely not allowed to play an intelligent weapon with levels in soul eater.
*** Also not allowed to take any spell or power that lets me transform part or all of myself into a weapon.
**** No, not even if I'm a Warforged druid. Wild Shape doesn't work like that.
***** Iron Heart Surge does not cure the condition: "Unable to turn into a scythe at will".

GrayGriffin

2014-02-20, 06:55 PM

* I am not excused from the extremely idiotic action of attacking the BBEG without further intel just because I shouted "Leeroy Jenkins!" first.
** IC or OOC.

* "Burn it down" is not the solution to everything.
** Nor is "destroy it with an earthquake."
*** Neither is "flood it out."

Deremir

2014-02-20, 07:24 PM

*no you may not eat the black blade and survive
**i dont care about fortitude scores. no.
***42? .... fine
****no eating the black blade does NOT give you black blood
*****it also dosent alow you to sommon the sword at will, its inside you
******STOP STEALING IDEAS FROM SOUL EATER!

Arkhosia

2014-02-20, 07:32 PM

GrayGriffin

2014-02-20, 07:36 PM

* No longer allowed to cheese the maze with hidden opponents by using aura vision.
** Especially since the latest update just rebalanced your class abilities to make doing that so much harder.

Kane0

2014-02-20, 08:53 PM

*If your roll ends up cocked or falls off the table "Let's just say 13" is not a valid answer.

Ksheep

2014-02-20, 09:02 PM

*If your roll ends up cocked or falls off the table "Let's just say 13" is not a valid answer.

** Especially when rolling anything other than a D20

Afool

2014-02-20, 10:13 PM

There is no class alignment prerequisite (a la Paladin, Monk, Barbarian, Warlock, Hexblade, et al.) that says that a Dread Necromancer cannot be good, and that being good does not cost him his class features or advancement potential.

Err, yes there is *gets Heroes of Horror*

Alignment: Not all dread necromancers are evil, although
the best of them could easily be described as evil-tolerant. No
dread necromancer can have a good alignment. Performing
evil acts is a basic feature of the class, but some dread necromancers
manage to balance evil acts with good intentions,
remaining solidly neutral (most PC dread necromancers fall
into this category).

Now I'm of the mind that proper use of Necromancy (asking for permissions and such) allows for Good uses of it, but per pure RAW, A Dread Necromancer cannot be of the good alignment.

*May not exploit GM fluff rulings to get benefits from using your own Paladin abilities on your own Undead. (I don't know how, but I swear someone on this form could figure it out.)

Kane0

2014-02-20, 10:32 PM

** Especially when rolling anything other than a D20
***I don't care how many laughs you generate doing this on purpose, it won't fly with me as DM.
****More than twice.

Socksy

2014-02-21, 02:59 AM

*May not exploit GM fluff rulings to get benefits from using your own Paladin abilities on your own Undead. (I don't know how, but I swear someone on this form could figure it out.)

IIRC, there's a feat allowing you to stack Bard and Paladin levels for purposes of Bardic music and I think Smite Evil. You could surely bolster a free-willed undead on your team with bardic music gained through paladin levels, which you could have created with a scroll of an undead-makey thing or Miracle.
You could also go for the simpler and less dubious virtue spell on your undead.

* Cannot make an Eldritch Theurge Psionic Variant/Mystic Theurge Theurge Class.

EDIT: It's called Devoted Performer.

Prince Raven

2014-02-21, 09:40 AM

* There is no such thing as "Smite Annoying NPC"
** Neither is there "Smite A-hole"

* No matter what god I worship or what my views on mercy-killings are, killing an entire village of innocent people is never a good act.

Socksy

2014-02-21, 12:11 PM

From latest session:
* Cannot date the plane of Mechanus
* The Cartesian plane is not part of the D&D cosmology
* If the person currently after the party is an assassin with lots of nasty poisons, must remind the party if they have feats or items boosting Fortitude

* Shouldn't go down a dungeon with no armour or weapons. Eighth levels can afford backup gear while their stuff is being upgraded.
** Really shouldn't point this out if I remember in the middle of combat.
*** I should explain to the party why I'm laughing so hard before making my six auto-hit rake attacks, not after.

Ksheep

2014-02-21, 03:44 PM

* When trying to get a campaign back up an running after a year-long hiatus, the first session shouldn't start with intense combat
** Especially if it's with slavers from a race they've never heard of before (Thri-Kreen)
*** Doubly so if the slavers have Psions, and there hasn't been any psionic anything in the campaign up till this point
**** I shouldn't be surprised when the party gets captured and sold into slavery or to gladiatorial games
***** Especially when I look back on the slavers and realize that I made them 3 levels higher than they should have been
****** Saying "at least it wasn't a TPK" isn't much consolation, especially if they are forced to fight each other in the arena

DigoDragon

2014-02-21, 03:49 PM

* Shouldn't go down a dungeon with no armour or weapons. Eighth levels can afford backup gear while their stuff is being upgraded.

We must have players with similar logic patterns.

*No longer allowed to devise an assasination plan on the prince using a floating castle, a dominated green dragon, a giant bathtub, and half-a-ton of copper coins.
**Cannot pay land taxes with this plan either. The collector does not deal in small change.

Smorgonoffz

2014-02-22, 05:50 PM

*I t doesn't matters if he owes you money, sending a solicitation letter to Asmodeus isn't allowed

**Throwing the wizard down the stairs and saying deal with this , while Pazuzu and asmodeus are down in the inn it's not a good action.

*** No more plans involving Flaming boars and explosive children.

Ksheep

2014-02-22, 08:00 PM

Arkhosia

2014-02-22, 08:07 PM

*A sorcerer/psion hybrid is perfectly acceptable.
**She can focus on telekinesis and electric spells.
***An electric spell can be fluffed as launching a coin at an opponent like using a railgun if high level.
****No, she may not be nicknamed "Railgun".

Doorhandle

2014-02-22, 08:10 PM

* When designing mercenaries for the PCs to fight, sword fighters are perfectly acceptable
** So are explosives
*** Adding monster abilities, however, is frowned upon
**** Especially if you give him obscenely high Fast Healing, Regeneration, and the Tarasque's "Cannot die unless Wished away" ability
***** I may not also give him the ability to break the 4th wall via the Self-Aware Player Character PRC

*No such thing as a throwing swordsman.
*I can use 1 weapon/per hand, and no more. So I cannot hold 6 swords at once.
**Or hold a third one in my teeth.
***Swordchucks are right out.

*Using a cannon is fine. Being able to use it as a cub is not.

druid91

2014-02-22, 08:18 PM

*Never EVER allowed to make a character with a name consisting of a title in latin.

** Never allowed to imitate the original by trying to elevate the prime material to an even military, economic, and political standing with the outer planes. While enforcing rule of law with an Iron fist and Ethereal boot.

Sir Pippin Boyd

2014-02-22, 08:27 PM

-I cannot sacrifice fellow PCs to Asmodeus for stat boosts

-I cannot subject fellow PCs to multi-templating biology experiments against their will

-I cannot look at a blank clipboard and pretend to read made-up data to get a bluff bonus

-Despite their similarities, Profession (Whoring) and Profession (Rules Whoring) do not yield the same benefits in character.

-Optimancy is not a valid specialization school for my Wizard

-Neither is YOLOmancy

-Adamantium-barded Skeletal Hydras make excellent minions, but they are not permitted inside city limits, even with a leash.

-Perform (Fiddle) cannot be used to get a free res, even with a bonus of 38

-I will not trick NPC adventuring parties into doing the main story for me

Tetraplex

2014-02-22, 09:41 PM

*Having my hands in my pockets does not qualify my unarmed strikes for Iaijutsu Focus.
**Not even with Improved Unarmed Strike

*My Eldritch Theurge may no longer use Quicken SLA, Grease, and Scrolls of Fireball to two-shot a horde of enemies.
**My ET may not use scrolls for Spellblast

*I may not play a half-golem human Alchemist
**Sorcerer/Alchemists that only use fire spells are right out.

*Rod of Ropes and Decanter of Endless Water are not the solution to every problem.
**RoR does not qualify for Weapon Crystals just because it can bull rush targets. DoEW also doesn't count.
***My DM is in fact aware of how police often dealt with Civil Rights protesters, and while hoses were used as weapons, emulating those events will shift my alignment.

Socksy

2014-02-23, 04:39 AM

Baroncognito

2014-02-23, 08:04 AM

* If the Dragon NPC loosely based on Pinkie Pie very occasionally says something disturbing ("If the Maenad dies in battle, can I have his body? I have ranks in taxidermy and he's so shiny!" etc), I must certainly cannot have her invite the PCs in for cupcakes.

We did this with the bodies of one of our enemies after we discovered that we couldn't melt him down to use the mithral his skin was made of.

DCraw

2014-02-23, 10:11 AM

* No, casting Gate does not let you call a Dawn Caste Solar.

* While Inspire Courage lasts as long as you continue singing, you cannot sing "the song that never ends" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZNaecq_rpU) between encounters to keep it up in case of an ambush.
** Not, not even if you sing it OOC.
*** Especially not if you sing it OOC.
**** Everyone, roll a will save.

* No, you can't call your Disciple of Dispater 'Wil Itblend.'
** You can't call your Bardblade that either.
*** Neither of them can use that as their battle cry.

unseenmage

2014-02-23, 10:23 AM

...

* No, you can't call your Disciple of Dispater 'Wil Itblend.'
** You can't call your Bardblade that either.
*** Neither of them can use that as their battle cry.

**** Nor is their family motto, "Don't breathe this!"

Erock

2014-02-23, 12:09 PM

Socksy

2014-02-23, 02:53 PM

* If the answer to the riddle necessary to open the elf's door involves saying "ami" (friend), that's fine. If the answer to the riddle involves saying "Les chaussettes de l'archiduchesse, sont-elles seches archiseches?" (Are the arch-duchess's socks dry or super-dry?) three times quickly, my players will hate me and make me try it too.

Ksheep

2014-02-23, 03:44 PM

* The name of that small child is not Thrackerzod
** That is not a perfectly ordinary name for a child

* Splitting the group up in to 6 color-coded teams (with NPCs filling in to make sure each team has 2 people) to traverse the dungeon is not OK
** I may not insist that the group wears color-coded foam helmets during the dungeon
*** Having the teams compete against each other in a series of challenges is also frowned upon, especially when losing teams are knocked out throughout the dungeon
**** No, this dungeon is NOT based on Legends of the Hidden Temple
***** The head is NOT on backwards

Socksy

2014-02-23, 04:43 PM

(Your sig made me Google Bride of the Portable Hole.

It still exists.

There's also a Son of the Portable Hole.

What.)

Ksheep

2014-02-23, 04:58 PM

(Your sig made me Google Bride of the Portable Hole.

It still exists.

There's also a Son of the Portable Hole.

What.)

Yes, a fun little series of third-party source books (starting with Portable Hole Full of Beer) full of game-breaking mechanics, inside jokes, and just general all-around randomness. I would not suggest using it unless you don't mind having books and/or dice thrown at you. For instance, some of the things you should NOT use from it are as follows

* I may not have the party face the Dread Gazebo
* I may not wear a chain mail bikini
* My magic-user cannot learn Summon Mojo, Power Word: Dye or Power Word: Sea
* I may not gain the Self-Aware Player Character PRC
** Doubly so if I plan on reaching the capstone for the class
*** I shouldn't be sad when my character doesn't become real, live in my house, steal my girlfriend, and drink all my beer
**** However, I should be glad when my character doesn't become real and try to kill me

Socksy

2014-02-23, 05:35 PM

* No such thing as the Half-Tarrasque template.
** Nor the PC Slayer template.
*** Nor the Half-Dread-Gazebo template.
**** No making up templates!

* Female barbarians don't get special bonuses to their Rage for three to seven days every month.

GPuzzle

2014-02-23, 05:39 PM

*My Bard can play an arcane version of an electric bass.
**That does not mean I can bring my bass to the table and dress up like the bard.
***STOP PLAYING PSYCHO KILLER, GODDAMNIT!

Socratov

2014-02-23, 06:09 PM

*My Bard can play an arcane version of an electric bass.
**That does not mean I can bring my bass to the table and dress up like the bard.
***STOP PLAYING PSYCHO KILLER, GODDAMNIT!

Are you kidding? I would totally allow that. Then again, your perform result would be judged by your performance on the instrument, so you might not want to do that...

Socksy

2014-02-23, 06:47 PM

Are you kidding? I would totally allow that. Then again, your perform result would be judged by your performance on the instrument, so you might not want to do that...

* Not allowed to abuse the fact that I play clarinet and recorder to a grade six level and sing to a grade seven level to get myself a higher bonus than my low-level bard would have had.

* Just because I can sing the Queen Of The Night Aria in its original going-up-to-top-F glory doesn't mean I should.
** That does not mean transpose it upwards!

* No longer allowed to play a bard.

DigoDragon

2014-02-23, 07:53 PM

* The name of that small child is not Thrackerzod

*Not allowed to steal battle cries from The Tick
**Nor allowed to base my super villains off enemies of The Tick
***Especially when I made 'The Idea Men' actual respectable, competent villains.
****Also, I will no longer be allowed to cause my players to pee themselves in fear from the dreaded construct known as 'The Infinity Ball'. When they figure out what it is, I shouldn't be surprised that they throw dice at me.

Sith_Happens

2014-02-23, 08:05 PM

* No such thing as the Half-Tarrasque template.

* I may not use mind-controlled celestials or fiends to breed an army of templated Tarrasques.

GPuzzle

2014-02-23, 08:12 PM

Are you kidding? I would totally allow that. Then again, your perform result would be judged by your performance on the instrument, so you might not want to do that...

Well, apparently the problem wasn't that I was playing Psycho Killer, but rather the selection of songs I was playing (no, seriously, I most of the time during that session playing the bass) that triggered when an event happened.

Psycho Killer was the Fighter's theme song, Born to be Wild was the Ranger's, Hungry Like the Wolf, the Druid's, for the Warforged Artificer, Iron Man, for the Goliath Barbarian, Hard as a Rock.

And mine was Band on the Run.

You can imagine why.

Arkhosia

2014-02-23, 08:14 PM

*My ranger PC's favored enemy cannot be Titans.
**The electricity sorcerer's best friend is not a teleporting person who's in love with her.
***A fire sorcerer with a pet flying cat is right out.
****The swordmage isn't named Weiss
*****Rules above don't apply if the DM has never watched an anime.
******However, getting the other players to reference animes with their PCs just to see how long the DM takes to realize it is frowned upon.

GPuzzle

2014-02-23, 08:21 PM

Arkhosia

2014-02-23, 08:57 PM

Okay, I only managed to get the references to RWBY and Attack on Python Titan. What are the other references?

In order:
Attack on Titan
A Certain Scientific Railgun
Fairy Tail
RWBY

Prince Raven

2014-02-24, 02:49 AM

*My ranger PC's favored enemy cannot be Titans.

** My character did not just invent 3D Manoeuvre Gear
*** No matter what his Craft (Mechanism) skill rank is
**** No, not even with a natural 20

Arkhosia

2014-02-24, 02:53 AM

*Any player is banned from playing any type of vampire if they get a hold of Hellsing

Socksy

2014-02-24, 08:50 AM

*Any player is banned from playing any type of vampire if they get a hold of Hellsing

Someone's already mentioned 'no Maenad vampires', haven't they? If not: No Maenad vampires!:smalltongue:

** Vampires are also not split into "White court, red court, black court, jade court" for your convenience.
*** Succubi don't work like that in D&D
**** Cannot have four completely different types of werewolf in the same campaign.

** My character did not just invent 3D Manoeuvre Gear
*** No matter what his Craft (Mechanism) skill rank is
**** No, not even with a natural 20

* Making a belt which grants the Brachiation feat even in lightly forested and urban areas is not allowed, especially if it also grants Haste while in midair.

Prince Raven

2014-02-24, 08:55 AM

*Any player is banned from playing any type of vampire if they get a hold of Hellsing

** Even if they only watched the Abridged version
*** Especially if they've seen both of them.

DigoDragon

2014-02-24, 09:52 AM

* Cannot have four completely different types of werewolf in the same campaign.

What if the campaign is using the Werewolf Apocalypse setting? :smalltongue:

*If the GM sets up a Fallout campaign, I'm not allowed to assume it's the version with Ponies.
**Even if I can reasonably argue that it's the better version.
***No longer allowed to debate campaign flavors with the GM either.
****Fallout doesn't translate to "PC with the grenades wins."
*****Even if I can reasonably argue how grenades can solve non-combat encounters.
******Unacceptable! 100 years dungeon!
*******GM is no longer allowed to watch Adventure Time before running Fallout.
********Even if he can resonably argue the similarities in both settings, and allows new mutant templates.
*********But I still can't play a Pony.

Lord Raziere

2014-02-24, 10:16 AM

* near-nuclear explosions, as a GM, I'm fine with.
** teleporting your enemies to other dimensions, also fine
*** I however, draw the line at using care bears and ponies as weapons against your enemies.

Ryu_Bonkosi

2014-02-24, 11:12 AM

** Vampires are also not split into "White court, red court, black court, jade court" for your convenience.
*** Succubi don't work like that in D&D
**** Cannot have four completely different types of werewolf in the same campaign.

***** No, faeries don't work like that.
****** No, you may not play a spirit of intellect, or carry around a skull in hopes that one will inhabit it in the daylight.
******* Look, if you want to play Dresden Files, we will. But stop trying to turn every game into it.

DigoDragon

2014-02-24, 11:58 AM

* I however, draw the line at using care bears and ponies as weapons against your enemies.

The last D&D wizard I played was a transmuter with a pony familiar. :smallbiggrin:
So yeah, this one's legit.

Socksy

2014-02-24, 01:11 PM

* Cannot have the spikes at the bottom of the spiked pit actually be a mimic.

unseenmage

2014-02-24, 01:16 PM

* Cannot have the spikes at the bottom of the spiked pit actually be a mimic.

** Nor can each spike be it's own Mimic.

*** Having the entire pit be an advanced Mimic whose mouth the party just fell into is just wrong.

Slipperychicken

2014-02-24, 08:26 PM

*My Bard can play an arcane version of an electric bass.

**A divine version, however, is strongly encouraged.

***Doubly so if it's inlaid with holy unholy symbols.

****Triply so if its engraved with images of forgotten beasts and demons eating dwarves.

Ksheep

2014-02-24, 09:54 PM

* The party loves it when I give them extremely powerful ranged weapons
** They don't love it when they realize that the ammo cost is ridiculously high
*** They will start throwing books at me when they realize that the weapon has a clip size of "0", and therefore cannot be used (due to some bizarre flaw in the mechanics of the game)
**** Especially if they only realize this AFTER they pay for the over-priced ammo

Svata

2014-02-25, 12:05 AM

Nah, they just have to chambereach round manually. Each getsone shot before having to doit again.

Socksy

2014-02-25, 03:35 AM

* Not allowed to send a third- to fourth- level party against an allip, a shadow, a vorr, or That Damn Crab.

3WhiteFox3

2014-02-25, 05:14 AM

*My bards cannot use Perform (Lullaby) to make enemies fall asleep.

*My bards cannot be based off of Ruby Rhod
**My bards may not reenact any scenes from The Fifth Element that require acting like Ruby Rhod.
***I may no longer use my Chris Tucker impression.
****No, love is not the fifth element, especially not in an Avatar: The Last Airbender campaign.

*Not allowed to turn skeletons into fashion accessories

*My characters are no longer allowed to carry glass balls.
**They are especially not allowed to juggle them.
***They are not allowed to have tight pants either.

*Awakened Pony is no longer a legal reincarnation option.
**My characters cannot speak entirely in bad rhymes.
***Not even if the character is a Awakened Zebra rapper.
****I am to stay away from Zebra characters.

DigoDragon

2014-02-25, 09:29 AM

* Having the entire pit be an advanced Mimic whose mouth the party just fell into is just wrong.

Huh, you had one of those in your campaign too?

Ksheep

2014-02-25, 10:00 AM

*My bards cannot be based off of Ruby Rhod
**My bards may not reenact any scenes from The Fifth Element that require acting like Ruby Rhod.
***I may no longer use my Chris Tucker impression.
****No, love is not the fifth element, especially not in an Avatar: The Last Airbender campaign.

***** The fifth element isn't Heart, either
****** Combining all five elements doesn't summon Deus Ex Machina

Red Fel

2014-02-25, 10:06 AM

*My characters are no longer allowed to carry glass balls.
**They are especially not allowed to juggle them.
***They are not allowed to have tight pants either.

* Yes, you may play a Half-Fey Bard.
** Yes, I suppose you may give him an accent.
*** Yes, you can use Diplomacy to take leadership of that tribe of goblin- wait a minute...
**** No, you may not transplant the entire tribe into a maze.
***** No, you may not abduct an idealistic teenager's baby brother out of a misguided - that's it, rocks fall, everyone dies, we're playing Call of Cthulhu.
****** No, you may not play the same character in CoC. I don't care if his castle has non-Euclidean geometries.

Rockphed

2014-02-25, 10:27 AM

* Yes, you may play a Half-Fey Bard.
** Yes, I suppose you may give him an accent.
*** Yes, you can use Diplomacy to take leadership of that tribe of goblin- wait a minute...
**** No, you may not transplant the entire tribe into a maze.
***** No, you may not abduct an idealistic teenager's baby brother out of a misguided - that's it, rocks fall, everyone dies, we're playing Call of Cthulhu.
****** No, you may not play the same character in CoC. I don't care if his castle has non-Euclidean geometries.

The obvious answer is to have The Goblin King be the villain of CoC. And be better at it than the player.

Socksy

2014-02-25, 11:05 AM

What are you guys referencing? It sounds pretty cool.

Red Fel

2014-02-25, 11:10 AM

What are you guys referencing? It sounds pretty cool.

Labyrinth, a 1986 film by Jim Henson Studios starring David Bowie as the be-codpiece'd Goblin King and Jennifer Connelly as an 80's teen who gets in over her head when she thinks that life is supposed to work out the way it does in her fantasy novels.

Dancing goblins, bouncy songs, an entertaining menagerie of muppets and Bowie in spandex. It's a wonderful film.

Socksy

2014-02-25, 11:15 AM

Labyrinth, a 1986 film by Jim Henson Studios starring David Bowie as the be-codpiece'd Goblin King and Jennifer Connelly as an 80's teen who gets in over her head when she thinks that life is supposed to work out the way it does in her fantasy novels.

Dancing goblins, bouncy songs, an entertaining menagerie of muppets and Bowie in spandex. It's a wonderful film.

Thanks, I'll check it out sometime c:

* Unless we're in some sort of Narnia-based setting, "Jesus but a lion" is not a valid character concept.

YossarianLives

2014-02-25, 11:24 AM

*I may not play a kobald bard with 22 charisma.

Jay R

2014-02-25, 12:11 PM

* When my player gives the king his gift, it must still be a gift.
**When my player is finished guarding the maiden princess, she must still be a maiden.
***When my player leaves the castle, it must still be a castle.
****When my player walks out of the forest, it must still be a forest.
*****When my player comes down from the mountain, it must still be a mountain.
******When my player blasts off from the world, it must still be a world.
*******When my player is finished with the universe, it must still be a universe.
********I am no longer allowed to play.

imaloony

2014-02-25, 12:19 PM

*We are no longer allowed to feed evil flails to the Zaratan.

Socksy

2014-02-25, 12:43 PM

*Gestalt means "Wizard // Psion", not "2e Psion // 3.5e Psion"

(did I use the //thingy right?)

Erik Vale

2014-02-25, 02:12 PM

[Yea, it's either that or | ]

Slipperychicken

2014-02-25, 05:01 PM

(did I use the //thingy right?)

*I shall remember that "/" represents multiclassing, and "//" represents gestalt.

**For example, "Wizard4/Psion3" represents a character with 4 Wizard levels and 3 Psion levels.

***As a second example, "Wizard//Psion" represents a gestalt character with the same number of levels in both wizard and Psion.

****No more gestalt for me.

Adoendithas

2014-02-25, 05:13 PM

Labyrinth, a 1986 film by Jim Henson Studios starring David Bowie as the be-codpiece'd Goblin King and Jennifer Connelly as an 80's teen who gets in over her head when she thinks that life is supposed to work out the way it does in her fantasy novels.

Dancing goblins, bouncy songs, an entertaining menagerie of muppets and Bowie in spandex. It's a wonderful film.

* Even if I can contact-juggle in real life, I cannot demonstrate it at the gaming table.
** Especially not with a d100.
*** Or any other die.
**** It doesn't give me any bonus to Perform, that's meant to represent your character's abilities!

Socksy

2014-02-25, 05:30 PM

* Even if I can contact-juggle in real life, I cannot demonstrate it at the gaming table.
** Especially not with a d100.
*** Or any other die.
**** It doesn't give me any bonus to Perform, that's meant to represent your character's abilities!

***** That's it, no more Perform skills in-game for anyone who has them IRL.

Drakeburn

2014-02-25, 11:02 PM

As the DM:

* I may allow my little sister to recruit friends for the adventure I'm planning.
** Even though it was meant to be a one - player adventure
*** After their first characters die, they may no longer play as changelings
**** Or pixies (That in a nutshell is what the group is made up of, minus my little sister's character. I kid you not [Pun not intended] )

Adoendithas

2014-02-26, 08:23 AM

***** That's it, no more Perform skills in-game for anyone who has them IRL.

****** No more Perform skills that have real-life analogues, period. The Bard can only use fictional instruments from now on.

Wookieetank

2014-02-26, 09:25 AM

Socksy

2014-02-26, 10:34 AM

* Must put ALL my d4s away after using them.

(My brother fell off his chair and onto one while we were playing earlier and had to bandage his knee. It was hilarious horrible.)

unseenmage

2014-02-26, 10:46 AM

* No longer allowed to wonder where all the leftover bits of space go if the universe is entirely made of cubes and squares.
** Magic, sure lets call it magic.
*** No I do not get to harness the awesome might of untapped magics just by calculating the volume of a sphere in a gameworld made entirely of cubes.

**** No longer allowed to discuss geometry while playing.

DSmaster21

2014-02-26, 12:13 PM

*No longer allowed to use the PF Dual-Shielding Fighter to slaughter wizards that my DM declares are too powerful to defeat.
**No longer allowed to Use the Dual Shield Fighter to kill everything but wizards and then ignore the wizards attempt to fight me.
***Not allowed to Dual Shield.
****Equipping my fighters with things that make it very difficult for wizards to fight him effectively will lead to a fighter ban.
*****Banhammer applied to fighters for me.
******Building a Dual Shielding Eldritch Knight is not allowed either.
*******Despite you managing to gain a working build for it a Dual Shielding Dragon Disciple is also out.
********Ditto for the Ranger Rogue wizard Arcane Trickster build.
*********Same again for the Mystic Theurge
**********No if you use druid levels to qualify for mystic theurge that is not a vastly different build
***********Listen if you have a touch defense that is over 15 or the tarrasque needs a roll over 10 to hit your AC at any point in a build that build is banned.

Hyena

2014-02-26, 12:17 PM

The wizards in your games must be pretty low-op.

illyahr

2014-02-26, 01:02 PM

Mrc.

2014-02-26, 01:08 PM

You remind me of the babe. :smallcool:

Which babe?

unseenmage

2014-02-26, 01:09 PM

Which babe?

The babe with the power. :smallcool:

Mrc.

2014-02-26, 01:10 PM

The babe with the power. :smallcool:

What power?

That just made my day. I've waited SO LONG to be able to do that! :smallcool:

Ksheep

2014-02-26, 01:18 PM

What power?

That just made my day. I've waited SO LONG to be able to do that! :smallcool:

Power of voodoo…

Mrc.

2014-02-26, 01:21 PM

Power of voodoo…

Who do?....

illyahr

2014-02-26, 01:25 PM

Who do?....

You do. :smallsmile:

Ksheep

2014-02-26, 01:26 PM

You do. :smallsmile:

Do what?

Filler

Mrc.

2014-02-26, 01:27 PM

You do. :smallsmile:

Do what? :smalltongue:

Edit: And then it was said, and the ninja's did come and it was glorious.

illyahr

2014-02-26, 01:34 PM

Do what? :smalltongue:

Edit: And then it was said, and the ninja's did come and it was glorious.

Remind me of the babe.

High fives all around, people. :smallcool::smallbiggrin:

Mrc.

2014-02-26, 01:44 PM

Yeah, we did good. Now let's stop this here before it gets too off-topic.

*No matter how tempting, I may not quote entire songs, post-by-post on the GitP forums.
**Even if the songs are David Bowie.

3WhiteFox3

2014-02-26, 02:19 PM

Yeah, we did good. Now let's stop this here before it gets too off-topic.

*No matter how tempting, I may not quote entire songs, post-by-post on the GitP forums.
**Even if the songs are David Bowie.
***Especially if the songs are David Bowie.
****Safety Dance is similarly disallowed.

*My whip-user's catchphrase is not allowed to be 'whip it good'.
**Making the 'whipped husband' sound with the character's whip is also no good.
***My character cannot volunteer to 'punish' any of the DM's femme fatale NPCs.
****Not even if they deserve it.
*****That's it, whips are banned for everybody. Nice job breaking it PC.

Red Fel

2014-02-26, 02:47 PM

Yeah, we did good. Now let's stop this here before it gets too off-topic.

*No matter how tempting, I may not quote entire songs, post-by-post on the GitP forums.

** Or in-game.
*** Or out of character.
**** Or in casual conversation three days later.
***** Not even if the other players know them.
****** Especially if the other players know them.
******* Especially if the other players respond in kind.
** Nor may I quote even a single lyric from known earworms.
*** Nor may I hum a few bars.
** Nor may I make passing reference to any Disney songs.
*** Nor any songs referenced by Spike on Buffy.
**** Nor any songs from the 80s.
***** Nor anything from Rocky Horror.

* I am no longer allowed to own or be aware of music in any form.

Sith_Happens

2014-02-26, 04:59 PM

* Must put ALL my d4s away after using them.

* A d4 is not a masterwork caltrop.
** A LEGO piece, on the other hand, probably is.
*** My character may not invent LEGOs purely in order to use them as caltrops.

*No matter how tempting, I may not quote entire songs, post-by-post on the GitP forums.

* The somatic component of Time Stop does not include a jump to the left, a step to the right, putting my hands on my hips, or a pelvic thrust. In fact, Time Stop has no somatic component at all.
** Neither does Celerity.
** I may not take the Arcane Performer flaw specifically to get around this.

Necroticplague

2014-02-26, 05:13 PM

* A d4 is not a masterwork caltrop.

*If i have an ability letting me decide what the dice roll is considered as, it must be a number the dice actually has a face of.
**I may not use marbles, claiming they're "infinigonginal dice".
***similarly, I may not use a d6 with sides of pi, e, r, i, golden ratio, and log(0) just to screw with every system written.

3WhiteFox3

2014-02-26, 08:27 PM

*If i have an ability letting me decide what the dice roll is considered as, it must be a number the dice actually has a face of.
**I may not use marbles, claiming they're "infinigonginal dice".
***similarly, I may not use a d6 with sides of pi, e, r, i, golden ratio, and log(0) just to screw with every system written.
**** I am no longer allowed to bring in dice that are visibly melted, have smoothed edges or land with a suspicious sound when they hit the table.
*****All of my dice are to be inspected by the GM before my use.
******I am not allowed to bring any dice that I have 'customized' in any way.

*I am never allowed to bring up the reproductive behavior of ducks.
**Not even if my character is a zoologist.

GPuzzle

2014-02-26, 08:37 PM

*I cannot ask for Bouncy Bubble Beverage at the tavern.

*I cannot have a door made of cheese.

*crosses fingers to see if anyone gets the reference*

Arkhosia

2014-02-26, 08:44 PM

*There is no such thing as a Were-Manbearpig
**I may not homebrew one
***If I bring one to the table, the DM will force me to name him Kenny and give him the lowest HP of the group.

Ksheep

2014-02-26, 08:59 PM

**** I am no longer allowed to bring in dice that are visibly melted, have smoothed edges or land with a suspicious sound when they hit the table.
*****All of my dice are to be inspected by the GM before my use.
******I am not allowed to bring any dice that I have 'customized' in any way.

******* I may not specially design a die for extremely climactic moments in the story
******** If it has it's own special carrying case and needs to be rolled on a specially designed steel tray, it is not allowed to be rolled in the house. (http://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0629.html)
********* The die should not announce that it has been armed upon shaking it (http://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0630.html)
********** Nor should the die spontaneously burst into flames after its first roll. Flaming dice have a tendency of distracting the players. (http://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0631.html)
*********** I should not be surprised when the DM (and local police) forbid me from making or using custom dice ever again. (http://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0890.html)

Necroticplague

2014-02-26, 09:12 PM

Arkhosia

2014-02-26, 09:15 PM

*I may not plot to overpopulated the heaven by cloning and killing someone infinite times.

Deremir

2014-02-26, 09:15 PM

*No matter how tempting, I may not quote entire songs, post-by-post on the GitP forums.
**Even if the songs are David Bowie.

Far over the misty mountains cold:smallbiggrin:

Necroticplague

2014-02-26, 09:21 PM

*I may not plot to overpopulated the heaven by cloning and killing someone infinite times.

**Nor may I intend to overpopulate the physical world through the cloning of several of myself, and then having all of compete to see who can sire the most.

Ksheep

2014-02-26, 09:32 PM

Far over the misty mountains cold:smallbiggrin:

Is it "over" or "o'er"? Personally, I prefer "o'er", but that's probably because I'm more used to the 1977 Rankin/Bass version (http://youtu.be/f4TysZL6YiA?t=51s).

* I may not debate the proper spelling of lyrics of songs
** Especially if it's nitpicking over whether a single word should be sung as one syllable or two
*** Doubly so if the lyrics were originally from a book which did not include the notation for the tune of the song and all debates are centered upon which later rendition of the song is the "best" rendition
**** Triply so if the original author passed away before either of the renditions were released and didn't provide any feedback as to whether they were the correct in how they were sung

Deremir

2014-02-26, 09:38 PM

Is it "over" or "o'er"? Personally, I prefer "o'er", but that's probably because I'm more used to the 1977 Rankin/Bass version (http://youtu.be/f4TysZL6YiA?t=51s).

its only o'er if your a dwarf. im not a dwarf.

*may not have my attempted thread de-railing de-railed

Adoendithas

2014-02-26, 09:52 PM

Through dungeons deep and chasms cold...

Ksheep

2014-02-26, 09:54 PM

Through dungeons deep and chasms cold...

Hey, I thought I derailed that derailment…

Deremir

2014-02-26, 09:57 PM

Hey, I thought I derailed that derailment…

to bad:smalltongue:

We must away ere break of day

Prince Raven

2014-02-26, 10:51 PM

To claim our long-forgotten gold. - This is now the movie version

*I am never allowed to bring up the reproductive behavior of ducks.
**Not even if my character is a zoologist.

*** The reproductive anatomy of ducks is also banned
**** Even OOC

Drakeburn

2014-02-26, 11:03 PM

I thought it was "To find our long forgotten gold". Oh well. *shrugs*

The pines were roaring on the height

*****I'm not to be surprised if this evolves into MLP.

***** If it comes to this, the players should either forget about playing an MLP game, or find themselves another DM.
****** Having MLP monsters in D&D is a no-go.

Ryu_Bonkosi

2014-02-26, 11:17 PM

*** The reproductive anatomy of ducks is also banned
**** Even OOC

***** Don't you even think about bringing up echidna genitalia.
****** That's it. I don't care how much information you have about animal genitalia floating around in that head of yours, stop bringing it up.

The sad thing is I really do know an astounding amount of animal genitalia facts...

Arkhosia

2014-02-26, 11:24 PM

***** Don't you even think about bringing up echidna genitalia.
****** That's it. I don't care how much information you have about animal genitalia floating around in that head of yours, stop bringing it up.

The sad thing is I really do know an astounding amount of animal genitalia facts...

*******Especially spider genitalia!
:smalleek:
I blame Cracked.com for that one

GrayGriffin

2014-02-27, 12:25 AM

I thought it was "To find our long forgotten gold". Oh well. *shrugs*

The pines were roaring on the height

***** If it comes to this, the players should either forget about playing an MLP game, or find themselves another DM.
****** Having MLP monsters in D&D is a no-go.

******* I will check the context of quotes before saying stuff that implies little girls shouldn't be allowed to RP about a TV show they like.
******** I will do background checks before saying stuff that implies banning basilisks, manticores, hydras, and dragons from my game.

Ksheep

2014-02-27, 12:53 AM

******* I will check the context of quotes before saying stuff that implies little girls shouldn't be allowed to RP about a TV show they like.
******** I will do background checks before saying stuff that implies banning basilisks, manticores, hydras, and dragons from my game.

Basilisks? I don't remember any basilisks. There was a cockatrice, but no basilisk that I can recall.

Also, you forgot to add Phoenix, Minotaur, Griffon, Sea serpent, Windigo, and Cerberus… or vampiric jackalopes

* I shouldn't try to one-up someone on the Internet regarding shows originally designed for little girls
** I shouldn't add items based on the comic series based on said show, as not all fans of the show have read the comics
*** Even if I do post it with white text to help hide potential spoilers

TuggyNE

2014-02-27, 02:17 AM

Basilisks? I don't remember any basilisks. There was a cockatrice, but no basilisk that I can recall.

Cockatrices are also D&D monsters, so the point is largely irrelevant.

Also, you forgot to add Phoenix, Minotaur, Griffon, Sea serpent, Windigo, and Cerberus…[/QUOTE]

Are windigoes seen in D&D? Wendigoes, yes, but they're different enough I'm not sure they count.

Sith_Happens

2014-02-27, 02:58 AM

AND MY AXE! --Wait, that's not right...

* Singing "Let it Go" as the verbal component of Fimbulwinter is funny exactly once.
** My Sublime Chord may no longer cast [Cold] spells.

Prince Raven

2014-02-27, 03:17 AM

***** Don't you even think about bringing up echidna genitalia.
****** That's it. I don't care how much information you have about animal genitalia floating around in that head of yours, stop bringing it up.

The sad thing is I really do know an astounding amount of animal genitalia facts...

I did zoology in university, I now know far too much about animal genitalia and reproductive behaviour than someone should.

Mrc.

2014-02-27, 03:26 AM

Far over the misty mountains cold:smallbiggrin:

What have I started? :smalleek:

Silverbit

2014-02-27, 03:50 AM

I thought it was "To find our long forgotten gold". Oh well. *shrugs*

The pines were roaring on the height

The wind was mourning, in the night

Ahem. I hope we get up to the "Bells were ringing" bit.

*may not suddenly decide to play an animate brick.
**especially not in a otherwise serious WoD game

*No matter what it says in the rules, Dwarves can become prone if they really want to. They are not immune to beds.

Mrc.

2014-02-27, 03:53 AM

I thought it was pale enchanted gold? At least in the book, because I believe they repeat the verse at the end with long-forgotten gold instead? :smallconfused:

Socksy

2014-02-27, 08:08 AM

*
* The somatic component of Time Stop does not include a jump to the left, a step to the right, putting my hands on my hips, or a pelvic thrust. In fact, Time Stop has no somatic component at all.
** Neither does Celerity.
** I may not take the Arcane Performer flaw specifically to get around this.

*** Time Hop similarly has no such components.
**** Cannot make a campaign setting based off Rocky Horror.
***** Especially not if it's set in Transsexual, Transylvania rather than in the castle, and the BBEG is a tumblr SJW trying to blow up the planet for being offensive.
****** ... Okay, if this setting happens, you're allowed to have the dance be the somatic component for Time Stop.

DigoDragon

2014-02-27, 09:01 AM

* I may not debate the proper spelling of lyrics of songs

This is why I banned Smashing Pumpkins one time. :smallbiggrin:

* Having MLP monsters in D&D is a no-go.

As DM, I may no longer throw the following creatures at my players:

Quad-wielding barbarian pegasi
Bear-wielding druid pegasi
Unicorns with levels in any spellcasting prestige class
Citrus acid-spitting fruit bats
Diamond Dogs
Sass-Squashes
Anything voiced by John DeLancie

Deremir

2014-02-27, 09:02 AM

To claim our long-forgotten gold. - This is now the movie version

*i shall never take a quote from the movie over the book
**to do so is blasphemy
-1 internets
*** i will not demerit internets without having a contex for what they are

I thought it was "To find our long forgotten gold". Oh well. *shrug
no its To seek the pale enchanted gold

The pines were roaring on the height

now your just skiping verses:smalltongue:

The dwarves of yore made mighty spells,