Some assistance required

[Doc_Maynot]

In our group, we play many different RPGs. With me usually DMing all of them. Now, we have a problematic player. This time around however he feels like being the DM for once and do D&D so I decide to accept the break. The "downside" in his campaign is we are all starting with 10/11 scores in our attributes and our starting class is commoner. The upside? All 3(.5) material is legal and any number of flaws. Starting gold is 500, and I'm playing a Changeling and I'm most likely going to go Bard > Chameleon.
The goal is to fluster him to no end (which he requested and I happily wish to oblige). However I don't have much 3.5 knowledge and could use some help.

[Feralventas]

Is there a particular reason that you're looking to disrupt or otherwise make the game difficult for the DM to run rather than looking for a versatile character to deal with whatever's coming up, or perhaps talk with them to figure out what might be useful?

Though yeah, Bard Chameleon will probably do nicely; spells, combat, utilities, etc. Can also do a lot with Warblade 4/Wizard1 (Precocious apprentice) into Jade Pheonix Mage and do pretty much the same.

[supervillan]

Your significant significant problem is surviving level 1. Once you're allowed to take PC classes Chameleon should be OK even with 10s and 11s in all your classes. I'd mix in warlock rather than Bard though. Warlock is pretty much NAD.

So how to spend your 500gp to maximise your chances of surviving as a Commoner? tanglefoot bags, crossbow, spear. Keep your foes at a distance.

[Doc_Maynot]

I'm not aiming to disrupt the game. Only to ruffle up the guy's feathers a bit as he requested of me. With the Bard > Chameleon, I was aiming at flustering him through my versatility.

[Doc_Maynot]

Your significant significant problem is surviving level 1. Once you're allowed to take PC classes Chameleon should be OK even with 10s and 11s in all your classes. I'd mix in warlock rather than Bard though. Warlock is pretty much NAD.

So how to spend your 500gp to maximise your chances of surviving as a Commoner? tanglefoot bags, crossbow, spear. Keep your foes at a distance.

So, which should i take as my ONLY simple weapon proficiency? Crossbow, or spear?

[Fates]

Chicken-infested anyone?

Eh-hem. Anyway, if you have access, check the DragMags for some flaws to use. Some of them are really specific to the point where they're easy to ignore.

For your weapon proficiency, I'd suggest a light crossbow. Maybe take rapid reload and another archery feat or two, if you have extra feats.

[Hamste]

Light Crossbow, also take every flaw that doesn't directly mess with your build and take as many feats as you want. Flaws tend to be useless enough that it is worth taking as many as possible.

[supervillan]

So, which should i take as my ONLY simple weapon proficiency? Crossbow, or spear?

Personally I'd go for the crossbow. Maximise the range between you and the foe, lock them down with tanglefoot. If you've got a fair sized party, try to get some of the PCs to take longspears though. You can make a commoner militia unit with mixed weapon tactics: longspears and crossbows are your best friends.

Also, alchemical smokesticks can be used to cover your escape.

[Doc_Maynot]

Chicken-infested anyone?

Eh-hem. Anyway, if you have access, check the DragMags for some flaws to use. Some of them are really specific to the point where they're easy to ignore.

For your weapon proficiency, I'd suggest a light crossbow. Maybe take rapid reload and another archery feat or two, if you have extra feats.

Just googled it, looks like a fun, silly flaw definitely taking it for the comedy factor. Now if only i could convince him to allow me to play the chicken as an instrument...
Sorry for the incompetence, but whats a DragMags?

[Doc_Maynot]

Light Crossbow, also take every flaw that doesn't directly mess with your build and take as many feats as you want. Flaws tend to be useless enough that it is worth taking as many as possible.


Personally I'd go for the crossbow. Maximise the range between you and the foe, lock them down with tanglefoot. If you've got a fair sized party, try to get some of the PCs to take longspears though. You can make a commoner militia unit with mixed weapon tactics: longspears and crossbows are your best friends.

Also, alchemical smokesticks can be used to cover your escape.

Alrighty, crossbow it is. So far I'm thinking noncombatant due to not wanting to be in melee range anyways, inattentive cause the character is going to be a bit of a ditz, feeble since it's only for skill based things, and chicken infested cause it's hilarious.

[Fates]

Just googled it, looks like a fun, silly flaw definitely taking it for the comedy factor. Now if only i could convince him to allow me to play the chicken as an instrument...
Sorry for the incompetence, but whats a DragMags?

Depending on how it's interpreted, chicken-infested is actually horribly abusable if combined with a spell component pouch, allowing for infinite chickens to be withdrawn.

DragMag is short for Dragon Magazine.

[Doc_Maynot]

Depending on how it's interpreted, chicken-infested is actually horribly abusable if combined with a spell component pouch, allowing for infinite chickens to be withdrawn.

DragMag is short for Dragon Magazine.

Wait, I think I saw that. It's based on the spell pouch being considered infinitely full right?
Still what can you do with a bunch of chickens?

[Rebel7284]

Wait, I think I saw that. It's based on the spell pouch being considered infinitely full right?
Still what can you do with a bunch of chickens?

Bury all your opponents? End world hunger? Break line of effect (wall of chicken as a free action!?)? Use your imagination.

Also, if you go evil cleric, Greater Consumptive Field + Chickens = POWER!

[Doc_Maynot]

Bury all your opponents? End world hunger? Break line of effect (wall of chicken as a free action!?)? Use your imagination.

Also, if you go evil cleric, Greater Consumptive Field + Chickens = POWER!

Won't need cleric to cast this as Chameleon. Looks beautiful.

[Immabozo]

Wait, I think I saw that. It's based on the spell pouch being considered infinitely full right?
Still what can you do with a bunch of chickens?

Druid 5 > Master of Many Forms 2 + Chicken infested = a level 23 or 25 character.

Take the form of a Dusk Giant, for every 20 chickens you eat, you gain 1 HD to a max of 21 or 23 or so. This is decidedly an attack and it is an extraordinary attack. For every 1 HD you gain, you gain 2 str and 1 NA and all level dependent bonuses (stats and feats, etc) for every 2 HD, you gain 2 con. You are also granted SLA from the gained HD (the extraordinary attack is granting you SLA's? yes, yes it is.) Plus you gain size categories up to huge, with stat bonuses in addition to those mentioned when gaining categories (Least to lesser, lesser to greater)

you end up with a str in the 40s or 50s and a con in the 30s or 40s, with a Nat AC or around 25, natural attacks, some decent SLAs and target DM's plans = derailed

[Fates]

And this is why I posted it in blue. :smalltongue:

[eggynack]

Still what can you do with a bunch of chickens?
What can't you do with a bunch of chickens? There's a sheer cliff face that your party wants to scale, so you hurl chickens until you have a massive pile of chickens, and climb up that instead. You're running out of money, so you make various bets with random townsfolk related to your chicken based superpowers. Better yet, perform a magic act based on putting a sword into a sheath, pulling it out, and having it spontaneously morph into a chicken before their eyes. Trap the BBEG in his dungeon by hurling chicken after chicken in there until the dungeon is nothing but chickens. Use the chickens as improvised throwing weapons, so that you can throw as many weapons as you have iteratives. Congest a local town by filling it with chickens, and then convince the leader of the town to hire you guys to kill the chickens. The possibilities are infinite when you have infinite chickens.

[Immabozo]

What can't you do with a bunch of chickens? ... The possibilities are infinite when you have infinite chickens.

can I sig this?

[eggynack]

can I sig this?
You can indeed. :smallbiggrin:

[Immabozo]

You can indeed. :smallbiggrin:

Thank you my friend

[Darth Stabber]

Some inspiration (http://what-if.xkcd.com/4/)

Only replace moles (the animal) with chickens.

[Immabozo]

Some inspiration (http://what-if.xkcd.com/4/)

Only replace moles (the animal) with chickens.

you = my hero for this.