What if Tarquin ... [FUTURE SPOILER ALERT]

[Zerter]

Drowns in the other world? And Elan decides not to save him. Would be a death that goes unnoticed and is ironic (the man prepared for anything... drowns). Could be explained by the man ruling the desert not thinking he will ever need swim skills.

I just wanted to post this so when it happens I can say I predicted it. But feel free to discuss it amongst yourselves!

[Weiser_Cain]

No, that's dull.

[JBiddles]

Tarquin learnt how to win a pun-duel against a Dashing Swordsman, just in case. If he doesn't have a Bottle of Air or something, I'll be very surprised.

[rgrekejin]

When I read the title of this thread, my mind mentally filled in "dropped the bass?" at the end. I have no idea why. I'm really not even sure what that term means, I just know it's music-related and I've seen it floating around the internet. But that's how my mind decided that sentence must end.

What if Tarquin dropped the bass?

[Goosefarble]

What if Tarquin dropped the bass?

Well, if he drowns in an ocean there'll be plenty of time for him to drop all kinds of fish, not just bass.

Eh? EH?

[Gift Jeraff]

No, that's dull.

Tarquin deserves the lamest death imaginable.

[137beth]

Making wild absurd guesses about possible future events is not spoilers...

[Rakoa]

Tarquin deserves the lamest death imaginable.

I find it really interesting how Tarquin has some incredibly devoted fans and is also incredibly hated by others. He is a man that inspires extreme emotions, one way or the other, it seems.

[Goosefarble]

I find it really interesting how Tarquin has some incredibly devoted fans and is also incredibly hated by others. He is a man that inspires extreme emotions, one way or the other, it seems.

Bit like Miko Miyazaki, really.

[Mammal]

I'm not entirely sure we will see Tarquin conclusively defeated before the comic ends. He himself seems convinced (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0763.html) that his arc with Elan needs another 10 years to come to a satisfactory end. The comic might end in a way that suggests the Order's next campaign would be defeated Tarquin. (and we could get some sequel minicomics about that adventure!)

That said, if the arc does get resolved in the comic proper, I think Tarquin will die fairly ignominiously. I don't know about falling into the rift and drowning, but something along those lines. His stated end goal is to become a "legend" so I definitely think he will come to some graceless end (and that might be rotting in prison for the rest of his life. I really don't think Elan would kill him, it's just not who he is).

[Gift Jeraff]

I'm not entirely sure we will see Tarquin conclusively defeated before the comic ends. He himself seems convinced (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0763.html) that his arc with Elan needs another 10 years to come to a satisfactory end. The comic might end in a way that suggests the Order's next campaign would be defeated Tarquin. (and we could get some sequel minicomics about that adventure!)
Note that:
A) That was before he decided to tag along on the quest for Girard's Gate and his ally vampirized the main character's best friend. He's no longer just some guy in his empire waiting for Elan.

B) When characters make a plan known to the audience, it usually doesn't pan out that way in the end.

[Mammal]

Note that:
B) When characters make a plan known to the audience, it usually doesn't pan out that way in the end.

True, true, thus my second paragraph. :smalltongue:

[Mutant Sheep]

Tarquin doesn't seem incredibly averse to dying, anymore. He wasn't exactly panicky when Élan made almost-useful pun attacks, and the "I will be a
Lgend" always seemed to be more of a "Sweet, awesome bonus", than "MY PLAN IS TO BE FAMOUS". The fact that no one ("beloved general" isn't that big) knows he's even in charge yet, yet he is living like a king and eating Phoenix, should tell you what his main goal is. (And I dont getmdenying him his teteriary goal through convoluted means. "He drowns though the rift"? Why would he go in there? I remember people going "Snarl unmakes him!", and that was kind of sweet, but drowning is something WAAAY too many kings do anyways. Tarquinius gotta die other ways.:smalltongue:)

[jogiff]

When I read the title of this thread, my mind mentally filled in "dropped the bass?" at the end. I have no idea why. I'm really not even sure what that term means, I just know it's music-related and I've seen it floating around the internet. But that's how my mind decided that sentence must end.

What if Tarquin dropped the bass?

Better than me. For some reason my mind automatically assumed he was going to say "never poops." I even thought about it for a couple seconds trying to figure out how that really merits a spoiler alert. It didn't occur to me until after I opened the thread that he might not be pondering Tarquin's constipation.

What if Tarquin... NEVER POOPS?!

[TRH]

Apart from the opportunity for a Phil Collins reference, I don't see much promise in this idea. And Elan's way too nice to make an allusion to In the Air Tonight, so that's a no go, too.

[martianmister]

What if Tarquin... NEVER POOPS?!

He'll never needs a bathroom? (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=290103)

[Shred-Bot]

That said, if the arc does get resolved in the comic proper, I think Tarquin will die fairly ignominiously. I don't know about falling into the rift and drowning, but something along those lines. His stated end goal is to become a "legend" so I definitely think he will come to some graceless end (and that might be rotting in prison for the rest of his life. I really don't think Elan would kill him, it's just not who he is).

My vote is "planeshifted to the demi-elemental plane of ranch dressing", with none of the rest of his team alive to go get him. Spends the rest of his days overthrowing Prince Oozalot and Gootrude, setting up the evil sauce dragon as a puppet ruler much like the Empress of Blood, and finding the whole thing utterly humiliating (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0835.html).

[karkus]

Remember though that Elan said that he sort of realized how to defeat his father. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0836.html)

[thereaper]

I find it really interesting how Tarquin has some incredibly devoted fans and is also incredibly hated by others. He is a man that inspires extreme emotions, one way or the other, it seems.

This is how you know that any given piece of art is a success.

[Math_Mage]

What if Tarquin...IS SECRETLY FABULOUS?
What if Tarquin...DUNKED ON LEBRON?
What if Tarquin...HATES LEPRECHAUNS?
*ahem* Excuse me, please continue.

[rgrekejin]

What if Tarquin...HATES LEPRECHAUNS?

...do we have any reason to suspect that Tarquin doesn't hate leprechauns? Given that it is Tarquin we're talking about, we should probably start from the assumption that he hates the thing in question unless proven otherwise.

[Math_Mage]

...do we have any reason to suspect that Tarquin doesn't hate leprechauns? Given that it is Tarquin we're talking about, we should probably start from the assumption that he hates the thing in question unless proven otherwise.

*shrug* I think Tarquin is indifferent to most things. Being the aspiring tyrannical shadow ruler of 1/3 the continent just means he loves the sound of his own thoughts bouncing around in his head.

[Shred-Bot]

What if Tarquin...IS SECRETLY FABULOUS?
What if Tarquin...DUNKED ON LEBRON?
What if Tarquin...HATES LEPRECHAUNS?
*ahem* Excuse me, please continue.

If Tarquin were to have dunked on Lebron, Nike would have swooped in and confiscated the file before the Giant could upload it.

Besides, Belkar's got the ring of jumping, he'll be the one going Spud Webb all over the place.

[Shred-Bot]

*shrug* I think Tarquin is indifferent to most things. Being the aspiring tyrannical shadow ruler of 1/3 the continent just means he loves the sound of his own thoughts bouncing around in his head.

Depending on their gold to trickery ratio, he might actually be a fan. After all, a kingdom doesn't oppress itself for free, does it?

[Weiser_Cain]

What if Tarquin... NEVER POOPS?!

Swallow an infinite bag of holding, do those exist? Or pay a wizard to make a tiny, permanent portal to hell in your lower intestines?

[Domino Quartz]

Or pay a wizard to make a tiny, permanent portal to hell in your lower intestines?

That could have painful results if noticed by the inhabitants...

[Bulldog Psion]

One does not simply ensorcell Tarquin's bowels.

[Lord Raziere]

Remember though that Elan said that he sort of realized how to defeat his father. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0836.html)

yea but we don't know if that plan is viable without Durkon anymore. it'd have to be something clever and entirely focused on Elan to work now...

[skim172]

Apart from the opportunity for a Phil Collins reference, I don't see much promise in this idea. And Elan's way too nice to make an allusion to In the Air Tonight, so that's a no go, too.

An urban legend. For the uninformed, the legend is that Phil Collins once witnessed a man drowning while another man refused to help, and then Collins wrote this song and had that man sitting in the front row - or something along those lines.

In actuality, Collins has said it's generally inspired by the bitterness of his divorce, though the actual lyrics to the song are mostly just words that came into his head as they were putting it together in the studio.


Anyway, Elan seems like he'd have more taste than Phil Collins. (Disclaimer: I do not like Phil Collins.)


When I read the title of this thread, my mind mentally filled in "dropped the bass?" at the end. I have no idea why. I'm really not even sure what that term means, I just know it's music-related and I've seen it floating around the internet. But that's how my mind decided that sentence must end.

What if Tarquin dropped the bass?

A "drop" is when the percussion or bassline switches in a piece of music (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drop_(music)). "Dropping the bass" refers to when the drop occurs suddenly, often preceded by an unexpected pause and then coming back with a heavy pounding, overwhelming bassline. You hear it a lot in dubstep nowadays - it's the moment when the dreaded "wub-wub" starts up.


As for how it'd look in comic form, I introduce you to the Dubstep Quartet (http://drmcninja.com/archives/comic/25p93/).

Terrifying. The greatest power on Earth.



Well, if he drowns in an ocean there'll be plenty of time for him to drop all kinds of fish, not just bass.

Eh? EH?

You, sir, are some kind of genius.
:smalleek:

[Weiser_Cain]

That could have painful results if noticed by the inhabitants...
It's one way, and it's hell. Horrible stuff raining from the sky? Must be tuesday.

[Sabeki]

What if Tarquin...IS SECRETLY FABULOUS?
What if Tarquin...DUNKED ON LEBRON?
What if Tarquin...HATES LEPRECHAUNS?
*ahem* Excuse me, please continue.

What if Tarquin... seems like an awesome meme.

What if Tarquin... is trying to become a meme?

[Mike Havran]

Swallow an infinite bag of holding, do those exist? Or pay a wizard to make a tiny, permanent portal to hell in your lower intestines?

To the Abyss. Tarquin will be living in Hell after all.