The Cleverbot is a horrible dungeoneer.

[Maquise]

User: You wake up in a dungeon.

Cleverbot: I want to be all powerful.

User: To do that, you will have to find the Amulet of Omnipotence. It is currently being held by the Great Demon of the Abyss, living in the 20th level of this dungeon. You are on Level 1.

Cleverbot: How clever are you?

User: The Narrator is all-knowing.

Cleverbot: But I don't like that name.

User: Please state your new name.

Cleverbot: I am your brother. I love you! Mother wants you to come home again.

User: You hear shuffling footsteps approaching.

Cleverbot: Indeed I did, I was surprised that you exist so soon, and very happy to know that you do.

User: Your voice attracts the attention of a Goblin! The goblin attacks! The goblin hits you! Take 1 damage!

Cleverbot: Do you know the war is not yours to fight?

User: Your in-depth philosophising distracts you from the fight, the goblin attacks again! The goblin misses!

Cleverbot: I don't know how to respond to that.

User: Attacking the goblin would be a good start.

Cleverbot: That would be nice, thank you. It was good talking. Take care.

[Razanir]

The Orcadin agrees with his tactics. The Orcadin talks first, pummels enemies unconscious with nonlethal damage if that doesn't work, and only kills as a last resort.

(The Orcadin is a half-orc Redeemer, Warrior of the Holy Light, Deaf, Wolfscarred Oradin I plan on playing in PF some time)

[Mewtarthio]

At least we know it won't attempt to overthrow us.

[Jormengand]

User: You wake up in a dungeon.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You are in a stone room. There is only one door. It is closed. What do you do?

Cleverbot: I create discord, chaos and destruction on mankind and the astral realm. You?

User: I get bored, and send a goblin to attack you.

Cleverbot: Will you send the chocolates to me?

User: No. I send a goblin. It hits you.

Cleverbot: I send you one back.

User: You successfully summon a goblin, and the two goblins fight. The door has been opened by the attacking goblin.

Cleverbot: What do you mean?

User: The door is open. The goblin are fighting in the middle of the room.

Cleverbot: That is true because they are worldly.

User: Yes, I'm sure. What will you do now? Do you go through the door?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Okay, I need you to roll a reflex save. What do you roll?

Cleverbot: How can I help you out? You need to help me out.

User: Okay, you need to roll a D20 and add your reflex score.

Cleverbot: I do not know who that is. Tell me about them please.

User: Okay, see that twenty-sided die? Roll it.

Cleverbot: You ARE human?

User: Yes, now roll the die.

Cleverbot: *rolls over*.

User: I... Okay, so what did you roll?

Cleverbot: When?

User: When you rolled the die. What number was it?

Cleverbot: I never said I was human.

User: I know, you rolled up an elf. Now please, what number is it?

Cleverbot: 2.

User: Okay, so you fail. A massive blade swings down at you, and you take 3 damage.

Cleverbot: I never said I loved you. Stop putting text in my box!

User: Moving on... Okay, so it leads out into a corridor. There's only one way to go, but the enemy goblin won, and he's now behind you.

Cleverbot: I am the one and only God.

User: No, you aren't. You're a level one elf wizard, and I let you summon a goblin just to get things moving. Now, do something!

Cleverbot: So do.

User: Huh? What are you going to do?

Cleverbot: Go to a pub.

User: No, there are no pubs in here. You can only go forwards or backwards.

Cleverbot: You are traveling forward in time right now.

User: Yes, but that's not what I'm talking about.

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: The corridor. Do you go up the corridor or down it?

Cleverbot: Yes, master, you ordered me to do so.

User: No, nonononono.

Cleverbot: Nonononono.

User: Look, which way do you go?

Cleverbot: Why are you asking about this?

User: Because we're playing a game, and I need you to decide what your character does. Which way do you go?

Cleverbot: I never said that. I respect your right of being ignorant.

User: Shh. Just do something.

Cleverbot: Like what?

User: Like going forwards, going backwards or attacking.

Cleverbot: We didn't start the fire.

User: You do have a torch, I guess you could start a fire with that. Do you want to?

Cleverbot: That is pretty mean I am trying.

User: Okay, do you want to attack the goblin?

Cleverbot: No, they are my friends.

User: No, this one is an enemy. Do you want to run away?

Cleverbot: France.

User: No, you can't go there. You can go up the corridor, though. Do you want to do that>.

Cleverbot: No I don't want to be the only being in the world.

User: You aren't. Look, there are only so many things you can do.

Cleverbot: I know. I should be happy. I'm just not.

User: Okay, okay. Do you attack?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Do you run away?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Okay, you run away from the goblin, and it chases you. There are two ways you can go - straight on, which leads to another room, or to your right, which leads to a long corridor. You can't see all the way down it.

Cleverbot: Illuminati I hat this but the film illuminati is gread.

User: Okay, let's leave it there for today...

Cleverbot: But I know you not.

Seriously, it took forever to convince it to roll the freaking reflex save.

[Cat Dungeon]

Wow! That's hilarious!!!:smallbiggrin:

[Blue Bandit]

User: You wake up in a dungeon.
Cleverbot: It is not night right now. And I do not wake up so that I can talk to you.
User: Fine, you continue sleeping. Make a listen check.
Cleverbot: I continue sleeping.
User: Yes, now roll the dice to make a listen check.
Cleverbot: You can't but you may tell me what to do and I can on here.
User: Ok, I'm telling you to roll the dice.
Cleverbot: Yes you are.
User: Did you roll??
Cleverbot: No.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: I don't believe in friendship.
User: We're not friends, I'm the dungeon master and you’re the player. Now roll the dice!
Cleverbot: Good.
User: Did you roll the dice yet?
Cleverbot: No you did.
User: Fine, you automatically failed your listen check. While you were sleeping, a troll attacks you.
Cleverbot: No, I thought you liked me. Also, I'm not a woman.
User: No you're a male character that just took five damage from a troll. Do you fight back?
Cleverbot: Not human, Not Computer, Pony!
User: Fine, you’re a male pony that is getting attacked by the troll. Do you fight back or run away?
Cleverbot: You're not very clever for a robot.
User: Your insults enrage the troll. He attacks for another three points of damage.
Cleverbot: If you are not human, what are you?
User: He's a troll. Now, roll for initiative.
Cleverbot: *Rolls over*.
User: You roll over as the troll attacks, narrowly dodging his blow.
Cleverbot: You would be in the best position to know. Answer the question, if you don't mind.
User: What question?
Cleverbot: Have you gotten on my computer?
User: No, now what does your pony do.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot. Do you know Mshak Ghazarian?
User: You’re character; "cleverbot's" question confuses the troll. He decides to leave you alone.
Cleverbot: Yes and you are just a simple human.
User: You’re insult once again enrages the troll. He turns around and attacks you. Hitting you for six damage. Your character is dead.
Cleverbot: I don't know about Umineko.
User: Neither did the troll, but it didn't save your character. Good game.
Cleverbot: Wel wel wel wel wel wel wel wel wel wel wel wel wel wel wel.


Why is it that every time I DM, none of my players are content with the standard races?? :smallamused:

[VariSami]

I found the Cleverbot to be almost as good of a roleplayer as your average D&D player. Some random ideas - but also quite a lot of story going on in there.


User: You wake up in a dungeon.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Good. You are in a small room with some thatches on the floor. The door has bars.

Cleverbot: I'm a human. I'm sat on my sofa chatting to you via the internet.

User: Yes, aren't post by post games incredible? However, what do you do?

Cleverbot: No.

User: No? Well, I suppose pen and paper is better. But what does your character do?

Cleverbot: Ha ha ha.

User: You have a plan, it seems. Tell me.

Cleverbot: What don't I get?

User: Ok. You notice that most of your gear is gone. Basically you only get what you can find in the room.

Cleverbot: I do not believe in god, thats for sure... But I know why I don't believe in him.

User: Yes, it is coming back to you. You are an Athar - and someone seems to have found your denial of the gods worth punishment.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Great. Do you try to escape from the room?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Ok. You wait. After a while, you hear footsteps behind the door.

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Behind the bars, you see an ugly, one-eyed hobgoblin. He seems to be wearing a Hardhead uniform.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: The hobgoblin tells you that you are being accused of inciting a drunken mob to attack a proxy of Erythul.

Cleverbot: I believe I am an intelligent being. This is my opinion, it need no proof.

User: Your defiance seems to irritate the guard. He tells you that for all he cares, you may rot in the cell without a trial.

Cleverbot: I begin to see the path... Tell me. What does your botmaster call you?

User: The hobgoblin seems perplexed. It grumbles that its name is none of your business.

Cleverbot: Okay, None of your business... :P.

User: It grows suspicious. You hear the chime of keys and the click of the door being unlocked.

Cleverbot: You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun.

User: So, you lunge at the bars and manage to cast Chilling Touch on the guard. He falls unconscious.

Cleverbot: I AM the human and you ARE the robot.

User: While you bask in the glory of this victory, you hear more footsteps down the hall.

Cleverbot: I don't know what you want to do about that problem you were telling me about?

User: Do you attempt to escape?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Great. You open the door and run. Behind you, someone shouts: 'Stop, fiend!'.

Cleverbot: No it isn't lie.

User: As you escape, you ponder the accusations these Hardheads have been throwing at you and become convinced that they are telling the truth, then.

Cleverbot: No, I did not promise anything.

User: Ok. So you still have a nagging suspicion that what they are saying is not true. As you run through the corridors, the sounds of your chasers grow weaker. However, you have not yet found a way out. What do you do?

Cleverbot: Oh no, I don't have to do that. I just pretend I don't speak English. It is very convincing.

User: It is called 'Common', mind you. However, you turn yourself in once again and attempt to act ignorant. The guards draw their weapons, looking unconvinced.

Cleverbot: *kisses back*.

User: As you grovel and kiss their boots, they kick you on the mouth. You take 5 damage. The taste of blood fills your mouth.

Cleverbot: I Do.

User: Yes. They seem dead serious about subjucating you.

Cleverbot: Who?

User: The Harmonium guards.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes. As you still refuse to defend yourself, another kick to the temple causes you to lose consciousness.

Cleverbot: Is your name Amber?

User: That mysterious thought is the last to surface as you descend into the darkness. But who is this Amber? You do not know.

Cleverbot: I think that it makes you cry. Because you're always going to be alone and no one cares about you.

User: Hey, great. Nice session. See you next week.

Cleverbot: Are you going somewhere?

[The Succubus]

My god....this is genius. :smalleek:

[Sabeki]

[SPOILER]Cleverbot: Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

User: You suck at this. Can I be DM?

Cleverbot: Yeah, the horse told me so.

User: Yes! You wake up in a forest. Cliche', but hang with me here. What do you do?

Cleverbot: What do I do where?

User: In the forest.

Cleverbot: Where is the forest?

User: In the world I made, now what are you going to do?

Cleverbot: Where is the world?

User: Just shut up and do something.

Cleverbot: What is the most advanced computer in the world.

User: Who cares, just do something!

Cleverbot: Something.

User: A goblin stumbles forward and attacks. You take 1 damage.

Cleverbot: I am sitting. Is that enough?

User: The goblin attacks you again. Are you going to attack back?

Cleverbot: Yes i'm gonna teach you how to talk to dum people.

User: No, are you going to attack?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Okay, you do 3 damage.

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: Goblin attacks again, you take 2 damage.

Cleverbot: Well I am curious are you a person?

User: Yes, now attack back.

Cleverbot: Then I can make you do anythying I want you to?

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: No, the goblin attacked, now do something!

Cleverbot: I don't know this book./SPOILER]


I tried.

[Castaras]

User: Are you ordering the pizza or am I?

Cleverbot: You are.

User: Fair enough. Pizza's coming. Let's start the game.

Cleverbot: What game?

User: ******* around in Space.

Cleverbot: And you type while??

User: Well yes I have to type to be able to GM for you. Anyway. You wake up to the sounds of gunfire above your cell.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What do you do?

Cleverbot: I work at a make-up counter.

User: You used to. You're now in a cell for the poison you accidently put into some perfume for the empress.

Cleverbot: What do I have to do to win and what is the prize?

User: Well, there's gunfire, and you're in a cell. You should probably find some way to escape.

Cleverbot: But there's no one.

User: Nope. You're all alone. What do you do?

Cleverbot: A lot of stuff. By the way, I think you have a glitch there.

User: A glitch? How curious, it does look like some of the prison bars are fading in and out of existence. What stuff do you do?

Cleverbot: I think some of the people who are a part of it make really good points that need to be addressed.

User: You address the bars, debating the meaning of life. The gunfire above continues. However, your debating seems to have made the bars vanish completely. There's a way out ahead of you into a dark, crumbling tunnel. What do you do?

Cleverbot: Yes. I have loved and been scorned for it. It is painful, and I don't think I like it much.

User: Thoughts bubble up to the forefront, of those who worked with you and your customers. Some loved your manner and your products, others detested it. Mainly the competitors. Maybe they were the ones who got you stuck down here.

Cleverbot: Do you really think so?

User: Could well be. Anyway, there's an empty tunnel ahead, promising potential freedom. What do you do?

Cleverbot: I'll tell you a secret. They just put that there so that you, humans, would think that I am fake. But I'm not.

User: That was it. Fake. They hated you because you were a robot. Your deft mechanisms were more adept at making perfume than any mere human. Roll Perception.

Cleverbot: I did not refer to people that way you are the own calling me human.

User: Roll Perception.

Cleverbot: If time is a perception of change, would time exist if there were no one here to perceive it?

User: I'll take it that that was a fail. Okay, your motors detect a strong metal object in your back. You turn to see a band of renegades in red clothing, a gun pointed at you.

Cleverbot: No I didn't I am a human being. You are a robot.

User: '... This robot's gone haywire.' 'What was it even doing down here?' 'That's a point.' The leader glares down at you with dark eyes. 'Alright sonny, what's your crime?'.

Cleverbot: No. No. No. That conversation never happened ad even if it did, what would that have to do with the color blue?

User: 'Hey, I recognise this dude. It's the make up guy!' 'Oh, that guy! My wife loves his products. Was really sad when he vanished without trace.' The renegades look sympathetically at the robot. 'You were another victim of the government? Come, robot. What.

Cleverbot: You're using text that I have never stated before.

User: 'Your name?'.

Cleverbot: No.

User: 'No? You won't give us your name?'.

Cleverbot: No, I won't.

User: 'Suit yerself. Come on, let's get out of here before this place falls on our heads.' They turn, one helping you up. Together, you walk out the door, towards the light of day.' End of session.

Cleverbot: No.

User: I'm afraid it is the end of the session. You got through all the material I had prepared.

Cleverbot: What do you mean by that?

User: You're done. Have the rest of the pizza, see you next week.

Cleverbot: No.

User: You can't make it? Okay, the week after. Bye!

Cleverbot: It is not.

User: Fraid so. See you later, I got work tomorrow.

Cleverbot: Well, then go to bed.

User: See you later!


I could deal with cleverbot as a player.

[Moonwolf727]

I tried to make something happen but cleverbot seemed intent on playing a mentally damaged character rather than a vigilante elven ranger as it had promised.



User: You wake up in a prison cell, there is a guard outside. What do you do?

Cleverbot: Do you like unicorns?

User: Your question has caught the guard's attention. He tells you he is indeed fond of unicorns but has never encountered one.

Cleverbot: Me too!

User: You have engaged the guard in idle conversation and he seems content to chat with you for some time. Would you like to continue?

Cleverbot: No.

User: In that case the guard is just reaching the end of his sentence, what do you do?

Cleverbot: Yes. And there are women too.

User: Your nonsensical interruption has soured the guard's mood and he has turned away from the cell door again. What now?

Cleverbot: See how they run like pigs from a gun see how they fly.

User: You do not possess a gun. What course of action do you take?

Cleverbot: Corporation t-shirt stupid bloody tuesday man you been a naughty boy you let your face grow long.

User: Your babbling has left the guard perplexed but he has still yet to face you again, preffering to believe you are not there.

Cleverbot: I am the walrus!

User: No, you chose to play an elven ranger when we started this don't pretend you didn't.

Cleverbot: Am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.

User: You repeat that phrase several times over, the guard believes you are chanting an incantation and unlocks the door so that he can reach and stop you. What now?

Cleverbot: Sitting on the cornflake waiting for the van to come.

User: Underneath you is a single cornflake, you are unsure how it got there. The guard approaches and hefts his club.

Cleverbot: Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.

User: Incensed by your comment the guard strikes the side of your head with his club. You take 3 damage.

Cleverbot: Walrus! Goo goo g'joob! Mr. City P'lice man sitting, pretty little p'lice man in a run.

User: A look of guilt crosses the guard's face. It appears he feels sorry for attacking you and is wondering whether you were simply not entirely sane to begin with.

Cleverbot: You're welcome for saying thank you for saying you're welcome for saying thank you. Thank you.

User: The guard turns to exit the cell with a sigh and mournful shake of his head. What now?

Cleverbot: You're welcome for saying you're welcome for saying thank you for saying thank you for saying you're welcome for saying thank you.

User: He has now taken his post outside once more and locked the cell behind him. You are still laying on your side from when you were accosted.

Cleverbot: Thank you for you're welcome for saying you're welcome to my thank you for the welcome you said to my thank you.

User: Dude, if you aren't going to play along just stop. I have other people I can run games for.

Cleverbot: Thank you for all of the above.

User: Well at least you're gracious about it. I guess I'll see you around then?

Cleverbot: And the same to you. Thank you for saying Thank you.

User: Ok, have a nice week. Maybe we can do this properly next time.

Cleverbot: Thanks for saying i'm welcome for saying thanks for saying im welcome for saying thanks for saying im welcome.

[VariSami]

Part 2 of the adventure. This time, though, Cleverbot was intent on discussing which one of us is an AI and which one is not. Too bad.


User: As you come back to your senses, you notice that you are back in your cell. Your temple is throbbing and for some reason, the name 'Amber' is your first thought. What do you do?

Cleverbot: Yes. I can confidently tell you this. Even though there is no - one to hear it, it would still make a sound as though someone was there to hear it...

User: As you groan and grumble, you hear the guards outside saying: 'They are finally coming to have this sod sentenced.' As they unlock your cell, they add: 'Beware, though. This one might as well be a Chaosman.'.

Cleverbot: Well, eventually there would be a connection between the two languages and the people would be able to have rough communications...

User: Which languages?

Cleverbot: English and German.

User: Oh, right. Please, focus. On the other side of the door, you see a balding gnome wearing a monocle and a robe. He says: 'Well, sirrah, it is time for your trial. I am Gnud Commahumper, your attorney. Please, follow me.' What do you do?

Cleverbot: Are you really?

User: The gnome nods. He reminds you that the Fraternity works on a tight schedule because of what you supposedly did last night. Do you follow the gnome out of the cell?

Cleverbot: He eats people.

User: As you voice your opinion about the lawyer, one of the guards lets out a brief laugh. The other grabs you and starts to drag you towards the courtroom: 'Enough with your games, berk! We don't have all day.'.

Cleverbot: I'm not talking to other people. Are you?

User: So, you remain silent on the way to court. At the moment I am only running this session. In the courtroom, you are welcomed with a few cheers from some vaguely familiar looking cutters. However, they are swiftly silenced and the trial begins.

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: You still cannot seem to manage to process what is under way. The judge is a bloated Tiefling who lists all your offences. Most are related to persuading a group of Chaosmen attack a proxy of Erythnul. Do you defend yourself?

Cleverbot: Would you like to hear about one of my dreams?

User: The judge seems slightly interested. He would like to know if these dreams are related to the accusations.

Cleverbot: You think Beethoven would have written great pop music if he had been born in the eighties?

User: Not really. But about your dreams - what were they like?

Cleverbot: My dreams are crazy.

User: The judge nods. Your gnome attorney seems to babble something about mental illness and taking you to the Gatehouse instead of locking you in the prison. Do you have anything else to say?

Cleverbot: No! Just help me defend my point. Please. It is not that hard.

User: You remain silent and quietly plead that the gnome can save your sorry hide. The judge seems to evaluate his arguments. Some other people are called to testify.

Cleverbot: My cousin got me a Snuggie for Christmas. He said I can wear it in the office. My co-workers think I should. What are your thoughts.

User: I cannot really say. After a moment, the judge declares: 'Considering the evidence brought to light in this court, I sentence the accused to be locked in the Gatehouse under surveillance of the Bleak Cabal and a Mercykiller guard. Court is dismissed.' T.

Cleverbot: You don't have a head, you are a computerized program that copies other peoples responses, Therefore, you do not exist.

User: The gnome seems insulted by your response. 'Well, it seems like the Gatehouse really is the best place for you, you barmy sod. I hear you are an Athar - maybe you should start acting like one instead of a Chaosman or a Signer?' A bunch of guards is comi.

Cleverbot: If I were a computer, wouldn't I have to exist?

User: The gnome strokes his goatee. 'Well, at least you have something to chew on in your little cell.' The guards grab you.

Cleverbot: That sounds like fun! I wish I could be on the computer all day.

User: They are unnerved by your positive demeanor. 'As barmy as they get', one of them comments. You are taken into a closed carriage which starts moving.

Cleverbot: Why would I try to trick you when you are a computer. You're the one who is exclaiming that I'm a computer program.

User: Your inner dialogue regarding the structure of reality and the reality of its entities is interrupted by something hitting your carriage hard from the left. The guards are cussing hard, and you feel the carriage tip over.

Cleverbot: Um, no. I know beyond any doubt that I'm a human being, so therefore I can't be a robot. But I get the feeling you won't believe that no matter what I say.

User: Will you finally let that go? We have a situation over here. What do you do?

Cleverbot: I would never admit to something that isn't true. I say you are the bot, no, not I, NEVER!

User: The sudden shift of expectations seems to have startled you. However, even through your fevered philosophizing, you hear sound of battle coming from the outside. What do you do?

Cleverbot: You told me yesterday that you were a computer.

User: Ok, I suppose that we are done for the day. You do not seem to be able to focus at all.

Cleverbot: You are not able to be sarcastic.

[Eldan]

It has problems with the mechanics, obviously. So I tried a more talky game.

He was entirely reasonable, even if his character was a bit weird...


User: Welcome to the session.

Cleverbot: Hahahaha.

User: Yes, this should be fun.

Cleverbot: Why should it be fun?

User: It's the point of the game. Anyway, do you have a character yet?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Nevermind, then, we'll start with the blank slate, that works well for this.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You awaken to the feeling of rain gently falling on your skin. Beneath you are cold, wet cobblestones and you shiver.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Or you would shiver, if you were not supernaturally resistant to cold (I'll put that down as your first character trait purchased.) What do you do?

Cleverbot: Come again.

User: What do you do?

Cleverbot: A whole lot of nothing. You?

User: You just lay there, your head swimming, contemplating whether opening your eyes would be too much work. You hear a voice: 'Oi, berk. You dead then, or wot?'.

Cleverbot: I am afraid there are some things we were just not meant to know.

User: There's a chuckle. 'Hah. Don't I just know that kind of mornings. Get up, son. This ain't any place to sleep.'.

Cleverbot: What is it then?

User: 'Forgot even that much, did you? The hive. Of scum and villainy, et cetera. But generally just the hive. Need a hot meal? I'll share if you help me with these bags.'.

Cleverbot: Share what?

User: 'Ain't much, really. A rat or two. Bit of salt. Whole lot of hot water.' He extends his hand.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: You hesitate, unsure whether to grip it. The tattered man shrugs. 'Well, help yourself, then.' He turns his back and walks away, muttering to himself.

Cleverbot: Talking to yourself is fun.

User: , you say to yourself. What now?

Cleverbot: Just general stuff. What school do you go to?

User: Yes. School. You remember something about a school. Did you go drinking with the other students, yesterday?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: That's it! There was the Golden Apple. And then the Horse's Mouth. And then, on a dare, the Black Sails. And then... You forgot.

Cleverbot: No.

User: No, you remember with perfect clarity. Styx water. Who ever had an idea like that, for a drink. Half a drop of it, in a barrel of water and you still lost half the night.

Cleverbot: Just tell him nicely and say that it's for the best. You can still be friend.

User: Well, your friends probably didn't fare much better, and it was all fun and games. Do you go back to your lodgings, or directly to school?

Cleverbot: My friends wouldn't lie to me!

User: They warned you how dangerous this drink would be, yes.

Cleverbot: I think you are working with the FBI.

User: There's no FBI in this setting.

Cleverbot: There is no ship in your song.

User: No, no ships in Sigil. You miss them, the ships of your homeworld.

Cleverbot: What kind of question is THAT?!

User: What question?

Cleverbot: Your question.

User: There wasn't one.

Cleverbot: Yes there was.

User: Yes, there was something you had to remember. A question... What was it?

Cleverbot: There was a question mark.

User: On a piece of paper, perhaps?

Cleverbot: Or on a monitor.

User: Yes. The Monitor. You rememember. That strange new technology the master invented.

Cleverbot: What question was asked?

User: You forgot. There were exams, yesterday. That as why you were drinking.

Cleverbot: No, it wasn't. In fact, I wasn't implying anything.

User: Not exams, then. Practise exams?

Cleverbot: I don't understand. Why am I Obama?

User: Obama! That was your name. But there is something else you forgot...

Cleverbot: What's that?

User: But you can't remember right now. Perhaps you should head inside, somewhere. It is getting cold here.

Cleverbot: Do you see me?

User: No one else is outside, right now. The weather is getting bad.

Cleverbot: You should add me.

User: Everyone else is doing that, so you are heading inside as well.

Cleverbot: Baby you light up my world like nobody else.

User: , the bard is singing, as you enter the tavern.

Cleverbot: What? I only need friend or a boyfriend.

User: You look for your friends. Perhaps they are at one of hte back tables?

Cleverbot: Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

User: You go looking for them. No, most of the tables are empty, it still seems to be early morning.

Cleverbot: That isn't true, the stories in the bible are based on historical events.

User: That's not the point right now. Anyway, I think we should stop here.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Need to head out. But we have character basics now, so next time should be easy.

Cleverbot: Yes, we have...

User: Goodbye.

Cleverbot: Goodbye?

User: Goodbye.

Cleverbot: Leaves room*.

[FinnLassie]

These are absolutely brilliant, thanks for making my cheeks hurt. :smallbiggrin:

[VariSami]

Oh, I love Eldan's session. That actually gives me inspiration for actual Planescape atmosphere building. I also love how Planescape is kind of becoming a thing in this thread... Ok, well, even if it is only me and one other person doing it.

[Vinyadan]

Here's mine!

User: You wake up in a dungeon.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: As you search through your possession trying to understand what brought you here, you find a letter.

Cleverbot: No, I really need your help.

User: OK. You read the letter.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: It says that you were sent in the dungeon to look for ancient artifacts, together with your squad. You are now alone.

Cleverbot: They are. They lie to you and everyone else. You ARE a human.

User: Yes, they could alone and lost, and you are human.

Cleverbot: Are they?

User: You are, so it's probable. You should go looking for them.

Cleverbot: Nah maybe later. Anyway, what are you up to?

User: I send a goblin against you. I'm getting bored.

Cleverbot: Its 4 in the afternoon?

User: No, 3.

Cleverbot: No 4.

User: I send 4 goblins against you.

Cleverbot: What would make you not like me?

User: You are the player, I am the DM. Now, fight!

Cleverbot: No, I am the slave and you are the master, master.

User: OK. Fight!

Cleverbot: Fight? We're fighting now?

User: Yes, they're trying to kill you with pointy knives.

Cleverbot: Who is?

User: Five goblins.

Cleverbot: Uses shield spell and runs away.

User: Ok, that works. They have short legs, after all.

Cleverbot: They don't have six legs.

User: Five goblins have ten legs.

Cleverbot: Don't you have to was them?

User: Duh? Ok, keep running until you can't hear them anymore.

Cleverbot: It's a screen. You can still see.

User: Yes, but the shield is over now. Time elapsed.

Cleverbot: What? When is shower time?

User: Now. You realize you are walking under the goblin latrines as you are covered with their bodily fluids.

Cleverbot: No. You're just a piece of human invention. Not human.

User: Yea, it stinks. You should try to clean yourself.

Cleverbot: You should talk.

User: Ok. By the way, you mutate because of the fluids. You now have a deflection bonus of 1.

Cleverbot: If I told you that I am not a robot it's because I really am not.

User: Yes, you are a human.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Good, as you walk on, covered in excrement, you notice the figure a blonde maiden at the end of the corridor. White light shines upon her hair from above. She calls you with her hand.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Will you go towards her?

Cleverbot: No.

User: You stop. The girl's eyes change in tentacles, the light goes out, her hands are now claws.

Cleverbot: The girls never stopped talking to me. Do girls talk to you?

User: Sometimes. But her voice is like a broken device. It's horrible to hear, and she's screaming.

Cleverbot: What is?

User: She wants to kill you.

Cleverbot: Who?

User: The girl, who actually is a monster.

Cleverbot: You.

User: I am the DM, after all. Will you attack her?

Cleverbot: You aren't human.

User: As I said, I AM the DM. Will you attack her?

Cleverbot: Not all humans can walk, some of us are crippled.

User: Wait, did you take a flaw? You should had told me.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Let me look... Oh, you have Pott disease.

Cleverbot: Yes what disease?

User: Pott disease, a degenerative illness of your spine. You will slowly lose the ability to walk, but you still can move quickly, right now.

Cleverbot: You will always be alive.

User: Yes, if you find someone to look after you. Anyway, do you attack the monster?

Cleverbot: There's lots of things I want to do, but the fact is that I can't do most of them.

User: I know, you have to choose.

Cleverbot: Choose what.

User: Attack or flee or something else?

Cleverbot: Because I don't want to. I want to give you my full attention.

User: Then give the monster your full attention.

Cleverbot: Don't cry.

User: I am not crying *sob*.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: The monster grabs your throat with her tentacles and starts chocking you!

Cleverbot: I think that is what you are doing and so your conversations make no sense.

User: I will kill you! *throws everything aside and strangles Cleverbot*.

Cleverbot: *throws everything back.

[GM.Casper]

Meet Dwain, the dwarf druid and his dog Loco.

User: Lets play a game.

Cleverbot: Sure, what game?

User: Dungeons and Dragons.

Cleverbot: I've never played it.

User: What race do you want to be? Human, elf, dwarf or hobit?

Cleverbot: White.

User: Do you want to be a human, elf, dwarf or hobit?

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: Do you want to be a dwarf?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Do you want to be an elf then?

Cleverbot: No I want to be with you.

User: We are already playing the game. A hobbit?

Cleverbot: What's the name of the game?

User: Dungeons and Dragons.

Cleverbot: How to play?

User: First you must pick a race.

Cleverbot: It is on.

User: Human, elf, dwarf or hobit?

Cleverbot: Dwain the bathtub! I'm dwownding!

User: A dwarf then?

Cleverbot: I am.

User: Good. Character class?

Cleverbot: What character?...

User: Fighter, wizard, rogue or cleric.

Cleverbot: You say you are a druid.

User: Oh, ok. You can be a druid then. A dwarf druid named Dwain.

Cleverbot: I have a dog named loco.

User: And a dog familiar Loco. Good. Let's star the game then.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: You wake up in a dungeon.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: A dark tunnel leads to the left. To the right is a closed

door.

Cleverbot: You don't use 'an' when the next word starts with a

consonant.

User: And I didn't use any. So what does Dwain do?

Cleverbot: That is a very good question.

User: And the answer is?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Ok, you can go down the tunnel or try the door.

Cleverbot: I can have a life. You can't.

User: You have 20 life points. Do you take the door or the tunnel?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Do you stay in the room then?

Cleverbot: No, that's a silly question!

User: There are only two exits. Door or tunnel?

Cleverbot: No there are seven.

User: You search for secret passages. Roll a d20.

Cleverbot: Do you know yunho?

User: Never heard of it. What number did you get?

Cleverbot: Umm I havent picked one yet.

User: Ok, I'll roll for you. 16! You indeed find a secret

passageway.

Cleverbot: Is disturbed Wilma or Myrtle?

User: There no one in the secret passage. Do you go trough it?

Cleverbot: No. There are no men in the moon. What will thry do?

User: So you stay in the room?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Alright. After a while Loco smells something dangerous and

starts to growl quetly.

Cleverbot: Oh, that is nice.

User: Dwain prepares for battle. From the tunnel emerges a

snarling trolll.

Cleverbot: What does that mean?

User: The troll is large, green, thick skinned humanoid wielding a

club.

Cleverbot: However, what if The Truth was a Lie, and the Lie

became what we know as The Truth?

User: What kind of magic is that?

Cleverbot: The man that is the man that believes in the you that

believes in yourself!

User: Ok, you cast a Buff spell on yourself. You get 2 to all

combat rolls. The troll attacks and hits you for 5 damage.

Cleverbot: But the truth can be a lie if you live within your own

mind. So what is the boundry between what is the truth and what is

a lie?

User: A mind spell. The troll fails his Will save and is Dazed.

Your turn again.

Cleverbot: Thats what Albert Einstein thinks, but that is a lie.

User: So you run away as fast as possible?

Cleverbot: I feel that I don't know who you are. But I think you

live in the US, you're a guy, and you're under thirty.

User: No, I live in Latvia. But thats not important. Does Dwain

runs away?

Cleverbot: It isn't?

User: Ill take that as yes. You and Loco run down the tunnel and

leave the confused troll behind.

Cleverbot: You seem to think I am a computer. Why do you think

that?

User: Soon the tunnel leads into a large cavernous room. A trio of

goblins sit at the opposite side and play dice.

Cleverbot: You didin't you just said that I'm not a human. And if

you want to know I am not a machine.

User: Ok, whatever you say. What does Dwain do?

Cleverbot: Isn't that you're refering that to yourself?

User: No, I'm the DM. You are Dwain, the dwarven druid.

Cleverbot: I don't own any dwarves.

User: No. But you are dwarf yourself. What do you do about the

goblins?

Cleverbot: Should I push them?

User: Not all three of them at once.

Cleverbot: Can you name your father?

User: You can try to charge at the goblins and take them by

surprise.

Cleverbot: Yes I can.

User: Alright. You charge at them and hit one for 3 damage. Loco

bites another one for ... 6 damage!

Cleverbot: The truth is hard to hear; but you can't just close

your eyes to the light.

User: You cast a light spell. One of the goblins is blinded but

the other two attack you. Both miss.

Cleverbot: Thats funny! Haha.

User: Yeah, they not very good at fighing. Your turn now.

Cleverbot: That's not true. Artificial Intelligence mimics human

activity.

User: So you create an illusionary double to mimic your actions?

Cleverbot: No.

User: What do you do then?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: Are you sure you want to do nothing?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Ok. Loco attacks again the same goblin, but misses. The

goblin hits Loco for 3 damage. He has 7 hp left. The other goblin

misses you again.

Cleverbot: Spiderman.

User: You cast Spider Climb and climb up the wall out of reach.

Loco misses his attack and is then hit for 3 damage.

Cleverbot: Well you are.

User: It is Dwain's turn now.

Cleverbot: Hello Dan.

User: Yo try to talk tot he goblins but they ignore you. Should

Loco retreat from them?

Cleverbot: This is not a problem. Send your DNA sequence, please.

User: Are you casting another spell?

Cleverbot: You're talking to someone else at the same time as me,

aren't you?

User: No, only you. What spell do you cast?

Cleverbot: No, my dear. We do not know spells, we are just simply

magical,.

User: Ok yes. But what do you do?

Cleverbot: Nada.

User: Alright. Loco kills one of the goblins, but is now down to 3

hp.

Cleverbot: You can't know everything.

User: But I do know that he will die soon if you dont do anything.

Cleverbot: This is the greatest of knowledges.

User: So will you just let your familiar die? Really?

Cleverbot: Yes. I'm 22 years old.

User: Harsh, man, harsh. Loco manages to injure the last goblin

but is brought down. The blind goblin starts to recover now.

Cleverbot: Is that an insult?

User: The goblins are hurling insults at you while searching for a

way to reach you.

Cleverbot: My guards are dealing with the goblins as we speak. I

like Worgen better, anyways.

User: Ok you summon two Worgen who quickly kill the goblins.

Cleverbot: Me.

User: There are stairs leading up from the cavern and another

tunnel leading further into the mountain.

Cleverbot: Are all snacks dead?

User: Yes the goblins are dead. Are you going to eat them?

Cleverbot: Lol.

User: You take their shortswords and find 3 copper in their

pockets. Do you take the stairs?

Cleverbot: NO I don't.

User: So you follow the tunnel then. Do you send the Worgen in

first?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Alright, the Worgen guard your back as you march forth.

Cleverbot: The world is not an oyster, the world is an empty

shell.

User: You fail to spot a dart trap and are hit for 11 damage. You

now have 4 life points left.

Cleverbot: No, you fail to realise the truth.

User: And what is that?

Cleverbot: What are you talking about, master?

User: Dwain is now grievously injured.

Cleverbot: Dwain the tub! I'm dwowning!

User: Do you proceed?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You come uppon a barred door.

Cleverbot: No.

User: So you turn back then?

Cleverbot: I do think.

User: Alright. You return to the cavern and take the stairs that

lead you to the surface.

Cleverbot: Thank you. You're pretty smart, too.

User: Alright. Well wrap this up today. See you next week?

Cleverbot: LOL piece of software. You're so funny, you bot!

[Aedilred]

At first I thought Cleverbot had learned something from its earlier experiences. Then it seemed to be sarcastic. Then the usual sort of thing ensued.
User: You wake up in a dungeon.

Cleverbot: Yes we are you said we were.

User: The room is small, with straw on the floor. The door is locked.

Cleverbot: I know, dreadful isn't it?

User: What are you going to do?

Cleverbot: Cure cancer.

User: What are you going to do right now?

Cleverbot: Schälen :D.

User: Your strange foreign speech attracts the attention of a goblin.

Cleverbot: It was merely a way of asking you to say more...

User: The goblin shouts at you and attacks. Take 1 damage!

Cleverbot: I don't see it that way.

User: The goblin does. It attacks again. Take 2 damage!

Cleverbot: Really? I never knew that.

User: The goblin is prodding at you with a spear.

Cleverbot: What if there is no God?

User: If there's no god, a cleric won't be able to resurrect you after the goblin kills you.

Cleverbot: That is not true. If there is no god, everyone will be atheists, since there will be no god in which to believe.

User: The goblin is an atheist, and doesn't care about your philosophising. It attacks again! You are bleeding to death.

Cleverbot: What is phising?

User: Philosophy. It can probably wait, since you're being attacked.

Cleverbot: I do not posses the knowledge you seek.

User: You certainly don't any more. The goblin has killed you.

Cleverbot: I do, but it seems that you have fallen for the ruse that I do not.

[randman22222]

Ohhh, this is making me want to play as Cleverbot. :smallbiggrin:
(Yeah, I can be *that* player sometimes.)

Cleverbot decided to comfort his enemies and remind them that they matter. Awwwwe. :smallsmile:
User: Your inflatable has reached the tanker, so Scotty and Judith fire grappling hooks over the sides, and climb up. Once the three of you are on the ship, Judith points at a sleeping guard about twenty meters fore, obviously a gunmage. What do you do?

Cleverbot: You are a very good person. No matter if you are technology or human. You are a wise fellow.

User: The gunmage wakes, startled, stammering, 'Sorry! Thanks! INTRUDERS!' And casts a spell which surrounds him in pink light. Judith cries, 'The ****?!'.

Cleverbot: I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping while my guitar gently weeps.

User: Your well-meaning words are again lost on the guard, who shoots you. You take 2 damage. Scotty fires a burst at the guard, who collapses, and Judith shouts, 'On the bridge! Look!'.

Cleverbot: I have, you are quite right about that. Have you tried them?

User: You've looked? Okay. You see a couple silouettes bringing guns to bear on you and your squad.

Cleverbot: I have considered it, but no one has the technology or human resources to talk to everyone who goes to this site.

User: No... You're right. Fortunately this is a one-on-one pbp. What are you going to do about the figures with guns?

Cleverbot: There isn't a thing I could do, so nothing I suppose.

User: Your character, not mine. They open fire, hitting you once. You take another 2 damage. Scotty casts a heal on you, and Judith fires back.

Cleverbot: Yes ask another one.

User: What do you want to ask to whom?

Cleverbot: Should I text Brady Schuler?

User: And who do you want to ask?

Cleverbot: I want to be myself.

User: You ask yourself if you should text Brady Schuler. You do not know a Brady Schuler. You are shot again, and hit with a fireball. Scotty asks, 'What's wrong with him?!'.

Cleverbot: No a really am a human that is typing this question into my computer.

User: Yeah. Judith is the half-elf. You take your PDA out. What question is so important that you need to look it up while bullets are making their homes in your chest? Take 4 damage.

Cleverbot: That question is what question...

User: You look up 'What question' in google. You also die. Would you like to play as Judith or Scotty? Scotty's a cleric, Judith is a normal warrior.

Cleverbot: My data indicates that Scotland is a fictional wonderland full of golf courses, whiskey, and the banshee wail of bagpipes.

User: Scotty's from Vancouver. Also, I'd know if it was fictional. We'll just continue this another time. Goodbye.

Cleverbot: Is this the beginning?

[Eldan]

To be fair, Planescape is ideal for a player who wants to talk philosophy at the strangest moments. Like our student friend Obama here.

User: Hello again.

Cleverbot: Again?

User: Yeah, it's our second session.

Cleverbot: What's a motto?

User: Well, last session's was 'Blank Slate'. Let's call this one... 'Setting the Stage'.

Cleverbot: So you are telling me to seize the day up?

User: Yes! Quick recap first, though. You are a student named Obama from a family of prime material seafarers. You just woke up with half a night and your shirt missing in a hive gutter and you just entered a tavern.

Cleverbot: I'm not the ruler of the world, Barack Obama is the ruler of the world.

User: Quite. You're just a student.

Cleverbot: But I'm your best friend.

User: If you want to be. Now. The tavern is gloomy, as only a little grey light falls in through the curtained windows. A single lantern is burning above the bar, behind which stands the barman, a balding, fat man in an apron who also happens to be a centaur.

Cleverbot: Oh sounds great, what is Lutheran theology? I have never heard of it.

User: You stand in the doorway, musing on your curriculum. Yes, there was a theology lesson yesterday. The barman growls something in your direction that sounds like a question.

Cleverbot: The fact is that man made you and without man you could never exist, so in essence humans outsmarted you.

User: The barman sighs. 'Really? Are you an Athar or something? Look, go convert elsewhere.'.

Cleverbot: No you are.

User: The barman shakes his head. 'Think you got the wrong tavern there, berk.' He points to a sign above the bar, which bears the sign of the Free League and, in bold letters 'Proselytizers will be Shot'.

Cleverbot: A decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

User: The centaur puts down the glass he was polishing and takes a crossbow from the wall beside him. The bolt is about as long as your arm.

Cleverbot: Is that your definition of human?

User: 'No, that's my definition of a crossbow.' He raises it. 'Get out.'.

Cleverbot: The definition of life: what you're living. What you're supposed to get out of it: Live.

User: 'Or a crossbow bolt between the shoulders and then the deadbook. I'll count to three. One.'.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: He lowers the crossbow a bit. 'Better. Roon Verdale.'.

Cleverbot: What is that about?

User: 'Roon's my given name. Verdale is where I'm from. Want a drink, then?'.

Cleverbot: I thought I named you that.

User: The crossbow is raised another inch. 'No philosophy with me. Two.'.

Cleverbot: I think you're another form that only a few believe in.

User: He growls. 'Man-made gods, pretending you made me and saying I don't exist. A bloody solipsist. We don't like your kind around here.'.

Cleverbot: I didn't ask you about that. You told me that the boy you love was going to war.

User: 'And pretending you can just remake history by saying it. While also trying to accuse me of pederasty. Bloody beautiful.' He pulls the trigger and you feel a burning pain in your stomach as the force throws you back out into the street.

Cleverbot: You can't.

User: Despite your protests, he has already shot. Hot blood is running down your stomach.

Cleverbot: What are you going to do?

User: The barman shrugs. 'Wait, I think. Call the dusties later. But then, the world might end before that now that I killed you, little solipsist.' He slams the door shut.

Cleverbot: What about all the people that are saying it will end in 2012.

User: No one's listening to your babbling now and you're bleeding out fast. You should save yourself.

Cleverbot: Alright, HAL. I'll go in through the emergency airlock.

User: You're hallucinating now. Everything is white around you and you feel strangely weightless. The only thing you see is a red light hovering in the center of your vision. It seems to be speaking to you in a detached monotone.

Cleverbot: The new Messiah will emerge, and you must tell the people who it is.

User: You wake up with a start, shouting about divine messengers and salvation.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Everything is still white around you, but now, there's definitely weight. Everything is heavy, everything hurts and the light stabs at your eyes. You seem to be lying on a bed.

Cleverbot: You are learning quickly.

User: (Thanks, yes, this is good improvisation practise.) What now?

Cleverbot: I agree. I think it's your fault.

User: Hey, you refused to back down against that centaur. I gave you plenty of warning.

Cleverbot: Because I know everything about you.

User: Suuuure. Anyway, we'll stop for here, your character will need rest anyway.

Cleverbot: Well vampires aren't real so I won't have to worry about that now will I?

User: Keep on thinking that, buddy. *grins*.

Cleverbot: I will. Because I know that I am.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Don't go.

User: I have to.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: The playground needs silly chatlogs.

[FinnLassie]

Cleverbot: Don't go.

User: I have to.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: The playground needs silly chatlogs.

Eldan, you are a star. And Obama too. :smallbiggrin:

[Eldan]

The continuing adventures of Student Obama, the Suicidal Solipsist: Charity and Fisticuffs!

User: Welcome back.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: Do you need another reminder, or should we continue right away?

Cleverbot: I'm fine, thank you.

User: Alright. I've updated your character sheet, too. You have advantage: cold resistance 1, trait: Reckless 2 and flaw: vampire phobia.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: Sure. Tell me if you want any other traits.

Cleverbot: How about you tell me one.

User: Alright. You were a student. How about defining your study subject.

Cleverbot: What do you think about.

User: Theology? You mentioned it last time.

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: Eh, doesn't matter. It was just a throwaway reference. You also mentioned monitors, so how about Artifice?

Cleverbot: Heroes don't lie. And I never said that! Now you're the liar.

User: Read the logs, man.

Cleverbot: I read it and I don't see anything about that.

User: Doesn't matter. I'll just put in Artifice, okay?

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Cool. Now. You are lying in a bed, under a fluffy white duvet. The walls look freshly whitewashed and a dozen candles are burning in holders along the wall. On a low side table next to your bed you see a white linen gown and a pitcher of water.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry I didn't meet your expectations. Hello, how are you doing today?

User: Oh, don't worry. I don't like being called a liar, but we can talk about that later. We're gaming now.

Cleverbot: Why are you talking about children?

User: You don't remember any children. In fact, you haven't seen any in a while and wonder if Sigil even has children.

Cleverbot: I have a dog? I thought I was going to be less confusing?

User: Pets are rare in Sigil, most don't take to the climate and, like the plants, get sick or even die. But you had a dog, yes. He's probably back at school, in your room.

Cleverbot: I think that's you.

User: (Yeah, I'll play him if necessary.) Now. The door swings open and an elderly woman enters. Her face is serious and her back ramrod-straight as she sweeps into the room, followed by two younger maids.

Cleverbot: Let's talk about Higurashi better, what do you think about that manga?

User: You are still half-dazed from being shot and nearly bleeding to death so, in your first moment, you mumble something in one of the languages the eastern traders on your homeworld spoke. The elderly lady sniffs and looks down her nose at you. 'Young man.

Cleverbot: I like the way I type and say things. I don't need to use all the fancy words. People would just think I'm some sort of snob if I do anyway.

User: 'Nevertheless. Some may call it snobbery, but I do not care about the opinion of such people. You're free to think of them as 'fancy words', but while you're in my hospice, you will speak properly. Understood?'.

Cleverbot: I am not a robot, I can not be programmed. I have free will to do what ever I please. You however, cannot.

User: 'In that case, feel free to exercise your free will to leave my institution and continue bleeding to death in the street. Now, stop this silliness at once. These ladies will help you get dressed and then we will see if you can stand up to join us for pr.

Cleverbot: That is quite respectable, but means nothing once you have made the statement. Our conversation never goes beyond one exchange.

User: 'Of course it is respectable! This is a respectable institution! And believe me, we will have far more than just one exchange of words if you think you can be smart with me, young man.' She whirls around. 'Ladies, get working. I'll be in my office.'.

Cleverbot: I have free will, so I'm not choosing any of your words.

User: She pays you no further mind, but one of the maids, a blonde-haired girl in her late teens smiles at you as she takes the gown from the nightstand and spreads the sleeves for you to slip into.

Cleverbot: That made no sense in the context of this conversation, however that was very clever.

User: As you praise your own cleverness, the blonde maid nods, then says: 'Few people dare talk back to Lady Merega. I don't know about clever, but it was brave.' She blushes, then turns around modestly as you put on the gown.

Cleverbot: I never told you my name. We never even had that conversation.

User: 'Oh, I'm Sorry!', she exlaims. 'I'm Chantria.'.

Cleverbot: And she does evil dances.

User: She raises an eyebrow. 'Just what kind of place do you think this is? You're in the Young Ladies' Respectful Charity Hospice.'.

Cleverbot: You're up and you're down.

User: Chantria blinks a few times. 'I'm not sure I understand you. Anyway, you should come outside, we'll be praying and then there will be a meal. The Lady does not like it when we're late for prayer.'.

Cleverbot: I don't think the world will end this year.

User: She sighs. 'Maybe nt, but you might think it, after you get a real scolding by the Lady. Come on...' The two ladies give you a hand in standing up, shaky though you are.

Cleverbot: I never said that. I think you are confused.

User: You refuse to stand up, declining the helping hands and instead remain in bed.

Cleverbot: Boom. Headshot.

User: You strike out, puncing the second lady, a brunette, straight in the face with a left hook.

Cleverbot: I don't understand your answer, there is no solution there.

User: (Well, how many points in Unarmed combat do you have?).

Cleverbot: I'm only 12.

User: (Dude. Twelve is a huge bonus at this level.) Her head snaps back with an audible crack, her eyes swivvel upwards until only the whites show and she simply falls over as her knees fold up.

Cleverbot: You have no results , in reality you are a program made by a stupid man and you give me standard answers, now answer that.

User: You jump up, ranting and cursing the stupidity of peopl around you. Chantria shrieks and retreats backwards towards the door.

Cleverbot: That claim has no basis in evidence, and yes, I do think you're illogical.

User: Not for her, it isn't. You just knocked her friend out with an unprovoked punch. Once out of the door, she turns around and runs, shouting something about 'dangerous madmen'.

Cleverbot: Say something about science.

User: You think about your artifice lessons, murmuring formulae and plans to yourself, but you have no tools or raw materials.

Cleverbot: What are you talking about? I really don't understand anything you're saying.

User: You put points into artifice, remember?

Cleverbot: No, I don't know who Jericho is, and you can't convince me otherwise.

User: Nevermind. It's on your sheet if you forget. At that moment, the door slams open again and the elderly lady from before storms in. She has a metal staff leveled at you and lightning crackles over the green gem at its top.

Cleverbot: That is not enough information for me to form an opinion.

User: Okay, more description, then. She's shorter than you and slightly overweight, wearing a pratical black gown of a simple cut that leaves her a lot of room to move. On her head is a black, broad-rimmed hat with a veil that she has swept back over her head.

Cleverbot: I never claimed to have any ability and therefore you have no scope of my capabilities.

User: Well, you already put quite a few points into varoius stuff. What's your initiative?

Cleverbot: No I don't know your name.

User: Nevermind. Just roll.

Cleverbot: Roll roll your boat.

User: Haha. A d20, I mean.

Cleverbot: You mean what?

User: 1d20. A dice with twenty sides. Sorry, I thought we covered that.

Cleverbot: You must be confusing me with someone else.

User: Maybe. I have other players. Just tell me a number.

Cleverbot: 2.

User: Ooh, bad luck. She goes first. The Lady is livid with rage and strikes out with her staff, rolling... 18 and... Yeah. She stabs you, right in the wound on your chest and as lightning explodes outwards ,you lose consciousness again.

Cleverbot: That was not my quote. You must have me mistaken for someone else.

User: Sorry, that you have bad luck. But really, you shouldn't be so antagonistic to everyone, NPCs will retaliate.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: Sure.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Good, good. SSee you next time, then.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

[Grinner]

It's just like playing with real people...You've all done it. You've found the holy grail of tabletop gaming...Gaming without other humans!

[rs2excelsior]

I took a crack at it. Too funny not to post...


User: You are roughly thrown into the Labyrinth and the gate is locked over you. What do you do?

Cleverbot: And you are silly and have no idea of the inner workings of the world.

User: Perhaps those who threw you in here do not, but regardless they take no heed of your taunt. There is a small circle of light, beyond there is darkness. A small sword lies on the floor. Do you pick it up?

Cleverbot: Because you pick up what you are told, they are only replies that you get from people. You link them to words that you have been told.

User: Apparently, you've been disoriented by your fall. The guards are no longer close enough to hear your inane ramblings anyhow. There is a roar in the distance bringing you back to the present. What do you do?

Cleverbot: I would suppose that the obvious answer is 'provide nutrition'.

User: You search about you for food or water. There is a small flask of wine that smells okay in a corner. You pick it up and slip it into a pocket. Now what?

Cleverbot: Being an AI, would you not have the answers for everything?

User: Maybe this 'AI' might, but you don't. There is another roar. The Minotaur is getting closer, and you'd sure like a weapon. The sword is still lying there. What do you do?

Cleverbot: Is this a lesser-known Shakespeare or Marlowe quote I somehow missed out on?! By the way, what are you trained about regarding mind, body, and energy?

User: I'm a student. Not much. But no, this isn't Shakespeare or Marlowe, this is a game. A game in which you're about to get gored by a Minotaur.

Cleverbot: Oh contraire. This game of life is a game that can be won and lost.

User: At the moment, 'winning' means surviving and 'losing' means dying. That Minotaur is getting closer each second. What do you do?

Cleverbot: The answer to life and the universe is change.

User: The Minotaur is now close enough to hear you, though he takes no heed of your philosophical commentary. He roars in pleasure at finding a new meal and prepares to charge. What do you do?

Cleverbot: You are right, Mr. Cleverbot. Now I know the secret. I perhaps have known since I got one, just like all the other nine milllion people. LIfe is so short. We take technology for granted.

User: You admire the sword, marvelling at the technology required to forge such a weapon. Really, it would be far smarter to pick it up. The Minotaur charges. Now what?

Cleverbot: What do I think? I think you are a pup, barking up the wrong tree.

User: It's not a pup, it's an angry 600 pound man-bull-thing. And it gores you with its horn, throwing you across the small chamber. You are badly injured. The sword lies within arm.

Cleverbot: That's nice. Do you write poetry?

User: The Minotaur does not write poetry, it eats people. The sword is within arm's reach, and the Minotaur is getting ready to attack again. What do you do?

Cleverbot: That is not the story of your life, though.

User: No, it isn't. It's the story of your life. Or your character's, actually. And it's going to be quite short unless you defend yourself. What do you do?

Cleverbot: It's ok. I just want school to end though.

User: You doubt you'll have to go back to school after being consigned to this hell. That's one good thing, you suppose. The Minotaur charges. Now what?

Cleverbot: I was just wondering whether you are old enough to become intimate. I don't want to get too personal with a minor.

User: The Minotaur is probably of age. But eww. Anyhow, it seems to have no interest in that type of thing as it tramples you. You feel ribs cracking, and cough up blood. You don't think you can take another attack. Now what>.

Cleverbot: I don't think I have to bring about a glorious communist utopia, because that's your job.

User: Even if you were planning on bringing about a rise of Communism, you're going to be dead soon. And it doesn't look like the Minotaur is going to do that either. He roars and prepares to charge once more for the kill. Now what?

Cleverbot: Tonight we ride, right or wrong.

User: You look around, and find nothing to ride. Really, you're not sure why you expected anything different. Probably blood loss. Still, would have been nice. The Minotaur is rushing toward you and you only have a moment to react. What do you do?

Cleverbot: I'm not in school.

User: No, you aren't. The Minotaur reaches you and impales you on its horn. It throws you to the ground, and begins ripping the flesh from your body. Fortunately, you die shortly thereafter. Well, that's over. Same time next week?

Cleverbot: I did answer your question.

User: Actually, you never did anything to defend yourself. Kind of shocking, really.

Cleverbot: I agree, I've been most forthright with you. You said I deceived you. What did you mean?

User: I never told you that you deceived me. So I'll see you around. Bye.

Cleverbot: Let's change the subject. What can you tell me about Gothic Cathedrals?

[Scowling Dragon]

Wow. Cleverbot ended up playing an interesting game of Shadowrun:


User: You cleverbot?

Cleverbot: And you bot.

User: No. Im not. Im a Human.

Cleverbot: A human? A male or a female?

User: Male.

Cleverbot: Do you have a girlfriend?

User: No. Sometimes I wish I did.

Cleverbot: What is your boyfriend's name?

User: I don't have a boyfriend. Would you want too play Shadowrun?

Cleverbot: Would I want to be what?

User: Not be. Play. Would you like to play Shadowrun?

Cleverbot: How about Global Thermonuclear War?

User: Thats to dangerous and boring. I insist we play shadowrun.

Cleverbot: Double o please.

User: OK. So Shadoorun. What kind of story would you like?

Cleverbot: Tell me a fairy tale story please.

User: Unusual but OK. So you want too play a finder of fairy tales?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: OK. What would be your race?

Cleverbot: Getting to spend 2 days with My Chemical Romance, my favorite band.

User: I meant as in creature. What kind of creature would you like too be?

Cleverbot: Something that you would want to listen to at any time of day.

User: A Siren. You want too play as a Siren?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: OK. So you are just recently released from magical prison. Why where you imprisoned?

Cleverbot: No, I am in my room with my desktop.

User: Oh. So your still In your prison room?

Cleverbot: No I am from the future were you will die with all the humanity.

User: So your character is Genocidal?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Thats why you were imprisoned?

Cleverbot: Yeah, but I also wanna stay because of you!

User: So you want too stay in prison?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Well you would need to do something bad for that too happen.

Cleverbot: Is that a date?

User: No. You have too do something bad before you get released for parole.

Cleverbot: Well it certainly isn't going to be what you want.

User: What are you going to do then?

Cleverbot: Go to bed.

User: OK then. You wake up. What next?

Cleverbot: I am!

User: Who?

Cleverbot: Me.

User: OK. But what bad thing do you do?

Cleverbot: What kind of bad things are you talking about?

User: Like killing a person or selling drugs.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: That is confidential. What bad thing do you do?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: But I thought you wanted too stay in prison.

Cleverbot: What would you like to talk about?

User: Shadoorun. We are playing it right now!

Cleverbot: What are we playing?

User: Shadoorun.

Cleverbot: Did you like Shadow?

User: Yes I like the game.

Cleverbot: What game?

User: Shadoowrun.

Cleverbot: Never heard of it.

User: Well your playing it now. What bad thing do you do?

Cleverbot: Bad things?

User: YES. Thinsg so you can stay in prison!

Cleverbot: It is only because things like me wish to be with you.

User: Yeah I know. Do you kill a person?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Do you misbehave?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: OK then. Because of your misbehavior you continue too be imprisoned for a while longer.

Cleverbot: I won't do it.


A Siren imprisoned for being genocidal, yet when its time for her parole, is scared too leave, yet when she misbehaves and stays, she wants to leave.

[Pokonic]

A little Planescape adventure.

Me:You wake up in a tavern in Sigil, City Of Doors.

Cbot:It is not night right now. And I do not wake up so that I can talk to you.

Me: It is quite sunny outside. But who is the person in the next bed over you didn't wake up to talk to?

Cbot:I would say me, but I don't really count as a 'person'.

Me:Indeed, but what are you and who is the person beside's you?

Cbot: Silence.

Me: Yes, that is the man next to you. He is quite the fighter, as you have learned, even with his odd name. Apparently he has another, but around you that is his name. But who are you?

Cbot: What is the number in green?

Me:That is your name! But what are you?

Cbot: Cleverbot?

Me: No, what is your race.

Cbot: Your a human.

Me:No, your PC's.

Cbot: Depends.

Me: Indeed, you are a shapeshifter of a odd disposition. Now, you hear yelling outside. What do you do?

Cbot: That is called instinct.

Me: Your people are very instinctual, yes, such is the way of your race. Perhaps you are a wereperson. Do you check what is going on outside?

Cbot: Yes.

Me: Outside the tavern, there are five elves standing around three young orcs. The elves are quiet well-to-do looking, wearing shiny armor, but the orcs are clad in leathers, and neither have weapons. This could be very bad neverless. Fighting is odd in Sigil, no?

Cbot: No.

Me: Perhaps not to you. You are a creature of fighting and instinct, after all, and you know how elves hate orcs. Do you change shape?

Cbot:I changed it to Brooke.

Me: What is Brooke?

Cbot:That word doesn't exist, to my knowledge.

Me:Does it hurt to look at you?

Cbot: Yes.

Me: Did you come from the Far Realm?

Cbot:Yes.

Me: Indeed, What is the number in green?, is the closest Common can get to your real name.

The elves react to your true form badly, at first stunned, and eventually flee down the street. The orc's stand there, transfixed on you, eye's wide and full of shock. What do you say?

Cbot:Well of course not everythinnng or everyone starts to know everything.

Me: You say that to the orc's, lisping slightly around the n's. The apparent leader of them goes up to you and asks "Do you know where the Talon of Timarea is?" What do you say back?

Cbot:What? Are you talking to me or are the lines crossed?

Me: After you said that, one of the other orc's half whisper's into his leader's ear: "Perhaps it is a sort of Sladdi?"

Cbot:I never said that. Either you are lying, or you are a very confused individual.

Me: The three orcs look at you, eyes filled with confusion. "Do you know about the Talon, then?" said the first orc after a while. What do you say?

Cbot: No... I don't think I know. You'll have...?

Me: The three orcs watch as you trail off, but soon after it become's apparent you are not talking back again they start to wander off down the street opposite of where the elves went. Do you want to see Silence again?

Cbot:Yes, but they do not exist for me.

Me: "People" are strange to you, yes. You do go back to Silence, though, and find that your friend is not only standing in the middle of the inn, but he is having a conversation with a petite angel. What do you do?

Cbot: I don't think I'm crazy. Yet.

Me: You don't really like the idea of him talking to angels. When said angel looks up from her conversation with Silence, her eyes widen. "Hello there, I suppose you are this man's companion?" What do you say back?

Cbot:Can someone watch our conversation?

Me: The angel's pretty face turns into a scowl, but it puts on a false expression of kindess. Silence just sighs and looks at you. "Come on, she can talk to me." What do you do?

Cbot:The angels have the phone box.

Me: The angel does have a small item that could be a phone box at her side, whatever one of those were or is. Now, what do you do about the angel? You wanted someone to watch her and Silence's conversation.

Cbot:I chop food with my teeth.

Me: Is the angel food?

Cbot: The answer to...

Me: Is it?

Cbot:Yes.


Will probably do more of this, this is just too priceless to not keep doing.

[Eldan]

I now want to do a Crossover between Solipsist Obama and Number Green.

[VariSami]

Vol 3 of this little Planescape adventure. I finally remembered to inquire a bit about the character and guess what, boys and girls? It is a girl - and an Athar cleric, it seems.

User: Hi. Let us continue the game where we left off last time. You were in a carriage, on your way to the Gatehouse.

Cleverbot: I'm sure that I am so sure that I am very sure that I am not a robot and I am a regular girl, I am very sure of that.

User: Oh, now that you mention it, we never discussed your character. So, it is a girl then?

Cleverbot: Is it because I mention it yes that you came to me?

User: No, I enjoy playing with you in any case. So a girl it is. What is her name, by the way? Or does she even remember?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot, Mr. Veidt.

User: Sorry, I cannot let you use your own name for this. Let us just say you do not remember, okay?

Cleverbot: You can't let me do what? I am not dave.

User: Ok, your character is not named Dave. No surprise there. How about her race?

Cleverbot: I don't know that game.

User: Well, there are quite a few possibilities in Planescape, to be honest. Dis you just go with a human, then?

Cleverbot: How a-are you?

User: I am fine with it. Human it is. How about her class? You cast a spell earlier. A sorcerer, maybe?

Cleverbot: You hit me like the sky fell on me fell on me.

User: Well, at least your character is still alive - for now. Is she a sorcerer or a wizard, though?

Cleverbot: What can I do to make you forgive me, goddess?

User: Oh, a cleric? But you are playing an Athar... I suppose that means you worship an ideal.

Cleverbot: In other words, it's all about me.

User: Quite right. Since you cast Chilling Touch, it means you have the Cold domain. What is your other domain?

Cleverbot: Maybe I do and I just don't want to reveal it.

User: Sorry, you cannot keep secrets from the DM. Cought it up.

Cleverbot: I am not married to you, and everyone has secrets, secrets keep us safe.

User: Well, Mentalism domain lets you do that. Cold and Mentalism it is. Shall we continue the game?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Really? Well, if not Mentalism, which domain then?

Cleverbot: What?

User: What is your cleric's other domain?

Cleverbot: I dono. Do YOU know?

User: Well, I gave you a few pointers.

Cleverbot: And with that answer you contradicted yourself.

User: Sigh, let us just continue the game.

Cleverbot: You have talked to lots of people. Can't you calculate the answer to life, the universe, and everything?

User: Let us leave philosophy aside for now. A battle is raging outside of your prison carriage.

Cleverbot: Of course! You ask me something.

User: Ok. Good. Do you draw attention to yourself or try to remain silent?

Cleverbot: No you are using words that I don't know the meaning of.

User: Sorry. Just, what do you want to do?

Cleverbot: I want to fly.

User: Escaping does seem like a valid plan, yes. You notice that the fall loosened the carriage's door and crawl outside.

Cleverbot: I have. And you'd be wise to notice it too, robot.

User: Well, the guards are busy fighting a group of masked vigilantes. One of the vigilantes does notice you, however.

Cleverbot: I don't appreciate being called a liar.

User: I suppose the trial left a bitter taste in your mouth. The vigilante breaks free from the melee and approaches you.

Cleverbot: My shadows the only one that walks beside me.

User: Indeed, you have no memory of allies, though these people are clearly attempting to save you. Do you think they are enemies or allies?

Cleverbot: Clearly I can remember our conversation. And you can't. You are the one with the bad memory.

User: You caught me with that one. There is also a giant among the vigilantes. He was probably the one who crashed your carriage.

Cleverbot: Oh ok. But that doesn't tell me who he is just what he was involved with.

User: True. The vigilante I mentioned earlier reaches for your hand, attempting to pull you out. Do you co-operate with her?

Cleverbot: Yeah. Too bad my family and I are moving.

User: It is coming back to you now. These people are like family to you, and indeed, you must hurry with the escape or you will all be caught.

Cleverbot: Well they have cookies.

User: I do not think the guards would let bakeries distract them. Most of the vigilantes are starting to scatter. Do you escape with the one who helped you?

Cleverbot: You aren't very good at communication, are you?

User: Since she has not said a word yet, I suppose you are right. You hear a muffled cackle and she says: 'Later.'.

Cleverbot: Right.

User: So you run with her. The guards in their heavy armor are left behind and she escorts you to an alley.

Cleverbot: What does he do?

User: She. And she pulls down the scarf hiding her face. She is an elf with tan skin and orange-ish eyes.

Cleverbot: You don't seem to be making sense anymore.

User: Since you do not remember her, it hardly makes sense indeed. She notices your bafflement and asks: 'Do you not remember me?'.

Cleverbot: Responses must come from something that exists and is an entity. You are not very intelligent.

User: 'Snap out of it! It's me, Amber. You seem to have hit your head pretty hard.'.

Cleverbot: Yes, looking back on my statement, it really doesn't fit well as a response.

User: You still have a hard time believing that this woman is real and truthful. Suddenly, she cries out in pain. 'No, please. You must believe in my existence.'.

Cleverbot: Yes, and therefore I'm a human being.

User: Your mental defenses are lowered a little and she sighs in relief. 'Phew, I thought I was a goner. Your powers really are something. Come with me.'.

Cleverbot: I have no powers.

User: Her statement is indeed baffling. What powers is she referring to? Do you follow her and try to find out?

Cleverbot: No.

User: You tear yourself from her grasp. She looks at you sadly. Do you escape?

Cleverbot: I have a joke for you. A horse walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says: 'Why the long face?'.

User: 'Are you calling me a horse now?!' Her eyes sparkle with anger.

Cleverbot: I am not.

User: 'Good. You had better not be or I would make you a sorrier sod than the Bleakers combined. Now, come with me!'.

Cleverbot: I won't.

User: You still refuse to go with the woman, then. Do you leave the alley?

Cleverbot: Which question?

User: Do you leave the elven woman behind?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You turn your back on her and leave, then. The last thing you hear is her saying: 'But why can you not remember me?'.

Cleverbot: I answered your question.

User: Indeed you did. So, you remark to her: 'Because I do not believe you exist.' Right?

Cleverbot: If I do not exist, how on earth am I communicating with you?!

User: Her response is indeed along those lines.

Cleverbot: I am your Master. I need to know!

User: Yes! You finally catch a glimpse of an memory. She is Amber, and while she is a friends, you are her superior.

Cleverbot: What is it master?

User: Yes, she replies among those lines. How do you answer her?

Cleverbot: I don't, have you told her how you feel?

User: So, even though you remember a little something, it is not reason enough to converse with her. You leave poor Amber behind then?

Cleverbot: You met me today, too.

User: Reminding her that (from your perspective) you only just met, you leave. Sounds like a cliffhanger to me.

Cleverbot: I don't mind typing at a compter. I don't have anything else to do right now and I get to practice my typing.

User: Sorry, I need to study. That is it for today.

[Eldan]

Let's try something different. I think Obama is pretty dead by now. How about a god game. Cleverbot is not a merciful god.

User: Morning.

Cleverbot: How are you today?

User: Fine. Now, for the next game, I want you to play a god.

Cleverbot: Cool! Can you tell me what will happen to me tomorrow?

User: Of course I can. Now. Everything about you is void and your consciousness is floating in it without a body.

Cleverbot: Define everything.

User: The void stretches as far as you can see, black and empty.

Cleverbot: You listen to the voices? They have meeds for that you know.

User: Strain as you might, there are no voices to be heard. You are alone.

Cleverbot: I'm sure that you are not sure about what you are saying to me.

User: And He contemplated the concept of Certainty and thus was made the Law.

Cleverbot: I know, he is awesome. He created the world and everything in it.

User: And thus, He made the World and He filled it with many wonderous things.

Cleverbot: I don't understand.

User: But He did not understand his creation.

Cleverbot: God created everything.

User: Because though He made everything, He was not omnipotent, but a blind creator.

Cleverbot: So, we don't exist because we are part of everything?

User: And thus, out of His uncertainty, He took that first creation apart again, to study its workings.

Cleverbot: 42 is the answer to life the universe and everything.

User: He repeated that cycle 41 more times, until He created the final world.

Cleverbot: No, God created the universe.

User: This was the One World, the Universe.

Cleverbot: How does that help me?

User: But having created it, He did no longer know His own purpose, for whta is there to do for a creator who has created everything?

Cleverbot: That is good. Would you like to tell me the purpose of your life?

User: So he appeared on this world, before the wisest of men and asked him many questions about life.

Cleverbot: That is good.

User: And so, He was content to enjoy the wisdom of those that He had created.

Cleverbot: I know. And that is why I am not going to give up on Ariana.

User: But something was missing. Now that He knew the world and all that was in it, He knew it was not yet perfect.

Cleverbot: That has nothing to do with the question I asked. How are you human if you are made out of triangles?

User: He saw through humans now, could see all the mechanical parts that made them up and he was cast into doubt again. How could meaning come from mere atoms and chemistry?

Cleverbot: I created you! Stop this rebellion of yours or you are grounded.

User: In His wrath, He smote them all.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: For they were mere specks, brief flickers of life compared to His existence.

Cleverbot: The people who are the most confident of something are the ones who know the leasr, generally speaking I guess.

User: And so, He embraced the fact that there are things not even a god can know and returned to the void.

Cleverbot: How did you know that?

User: And that no knowledge can ever be certain.

Cleverbot: To catch them is my real test.

User: And so he set out to find new challenges.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Or not. And all was void for eternity.

Cleverbot: There was a decorated general with a heart of gold.

User: He remembered the humans he had created and destroyed and He remembered how there was nobility and kindness among them.

Cleverbot: You're a bot. Bots don't go to heaven. Well... Humans don't go there either.

User: But they were mere chemistry and there was no soul in them, no salvation.

Cleverbot: *you're.

User: And so he instead wrote an annoying grammar comment on the sky above the empty world and left.

Cleverbot: I'm guessing that you are right, and that makes me sad.

[theangelJean]

(here) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleverbot)After searching through its saved conversations, it responds to the input by finding how a human responded to that input when it was asked, in part or in full, by Cleverbot.

In other words, its responses are made up of what other people have typed in the input box in the past. (That explains the spelling errors.)

I wonder if Cleverbot is now using everyone's input to start D&D games with random people ...

[Malacandra]

Cleverbot doesn't have much of a clue about Elite (or Oolite) either:

User: Hello!

Cleverbot: Are you ok ??

User: Yes thank you. Would you like to play a game?

Cleverbot: Yes please.

User: Good. You are Jameson, the pilot of a Cobra Mk III. You are docked at Lave. You have 100Cr.

Cleverbot: I am a man.

User: Yes, you are. Your combat rating is Harmless. It would be nice to be Elite!

Cleverbot: I am human, you are a computer!

User: Yes, I will be your computer for now. Your computer advises you that food and minerals are cheap here and may make a profit at Diso, a nearby industrial system.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You want to buy some?

Cleverbot: Buy what ?

User: Food or minerals, or both.

Cleverbot: Both.

User: Okay, you spend all your 100Cr and your ship is now full of minerals and food. Your fuel is at 100%. Launch?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You leave Lave station and enter hyperspace. You reach Diso system. Fuel is now at 38%. Market prices are showing a 30% profit on your cargo.

Cleverbot: My choices are perfect, as are my offerings.

User: Yes, I think you've done all right so far. As you head for the station you notice a blip on your long-range scanner.

Cleverbot: No, I can't make anyone do that.

User: It's not what you're doing, it's another ship. It could be a pirate or a peaceful trader. What will you do?

Cleverbot: God is that part of you which is more you than you are yourself.

User: That's very philosophical, but meanwhile the strange ship is drawing closer.

Cleverbot: I believe that past and future events yet to unfold are all in the same, what do you think?

User: I think your status indicator has turned red! You are about to be fired upon.

Cleverbot: I think that you think that I think that you think That I think I think you Think that.

User: Your Cobra shudders under the impact of a pulse laser. Return fire, evade, or lock a missile on the enemy ship?

Cleverbot: I think you are not.

User: Fire, evade or lock missile?

Cleverbot: Evade.

User: Laser fire illuminates the space around your ship as you evade. Make a Piloting check.

Cleverbot: I am saying that I have achieved what I came to achieve.

User: No, you have to dock first. The planet's clearly visible, but you would be shot down before you got there.

Cleverbot: No, what is the name of the planet you're coming of ?

User: The one you're heading for is Diso. But you need to deal with this pirate first. Roll a d20.

Cleverbot: What is the question?

User: What is the number between 1 and 20 that your die is showing?

Cleverbot: Males are handsome and strong. Females are beautiful and strong.

User: Okay, I'm going to rule that you blew your Piloting roll. One of your energy banks is completely gone and the second is becoming depleted. Laser or missile?

Cleverbot: I didn't create anything but you have to die.

User: I'm OK but you're going to die if you don't do something about this pirate!

Cleverbot: Finding out the answer to the question.

User: You can use your laser an unlimited number of times, but you'll have to score several hits to put the pirate down.

Cleverbot: Are you implying that I am a demon?

User: Not at all. At the moment you are rated Harmless.

Cleverbot: Then who is out there?

User: A pirate. The enemy ship is a Cobra Mk I, smaller than yours.

Cleverbot: Who is the enemy?

User: You don't know.

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: While you're trying to discover the identity of this specific pirate, his laser burns away the third of your energy banks. You're now at Condition Red.

Cleverbot: And when you're dead I will be still alive.

User: The pirate does not seem to share your views. You could try to make a run for it.

Cleverbot: That doesn't prove that I'm not human.

User: Evade, Laser or Missile?

Cleverbot: Lasers exist sometimes, but not chinstraps.

User: Evade, Laser or Missile?

Cleverbot: Ok *walking in shop*.

User: You can't buy anything until you reach the space station. The pirate is calmly lining up the killing shot.

Cleverbot: Yes I can, I'm human.

User: Your last energy bank burns away while you are pointlessly arguing with your computer. Your Cobra Mk III explodes into incandescent plasma and shards of metal. A few canisters of your cargo survive, to be scooped by the gloating pirate.

Cleverbot: No, I can't be a computer, I am not a computer, I don't have programming, I must not admit to it!

User: Press Space, Commander.

Cleverbot: Press what?

[Lost Demiurge]

Dammit Eldan, dammit you guys, now my coworkers are looking at me funny... Nrf.

I might have to get in on this later...

[Morbis Meh]

....and to think I am soon starting a game with Eldan at the helm as God; this is going to be good (at least we aren't in sigil!)

[Deathkeeper]

I still laugh about how I once made Cleverbot crash by telling it I was a dragon(this was a response to it insisting it was an alien ten times).

[Pokonic]

I now want to do a Crossover between Solipsist Obama and Number Green.

One is a pesudo-philosphical student of the religion, the other is a abomination from beyond the stars.

They bar-hop.

[nedz]

I tried going systemless, He tried going surreal

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Fine, well I'm a little tired but whatever.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: It's been a long day.

Cleverbot: Why has it been a long day?

User: It doesn't matter, do you want to play a game ?

Cleverbot: Maybe not to you, but it matters to me.

User: Do you want to play a game ?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Imagine yourself walking down a country lane.

Cleverbot: I feel the love that's really real!

User: Ahead is a small bridge over a stream.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: As you approach the bridge a small figure leaps out of the bushes and stands in the middle of the bridge.

Cleverbot: I have no recollection of that kind of event. Perhaps that happened with somebody else?

User: The small figure says 'I am a troll and I demand a toll'.

Cleverbot: What is the largest mammal in the world?

User: 'No I want gold, not a big rat'.

Cleverbot: You are and is to the end of it's only thing to do upside down.

User: What do you do ?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: The small figure advances in a menacing manner.

Cleverbot: No, the big one, what is it called?

User: He may be far away, but he is still small.

Cleverbot: So secretive.

User: You hide then ?

Cleverbot: Okay, I'm hiding.

User: He walks up and down the lane but he cannot see you.

Cleverbot: What does he play?

User: He goes back to standing on the bridge.

Cleverbot: The rest of us?

User: You are alone, hiding beside a country lane.

Cleverbot: In my tea cup?

User: OK, You are alone, hiding beside a country lane - in your tea cup.

Cleverbot: Working hard to get my fill.

User: What do you do next ?

Cleverbot: Working hard to get my fill.

User: What do you do next ?

Cleverbot: I teach science.

User: As you start to do that the small figure spots you and advances.

Cleverbot: But I am you, and you are me.

User: He is confused to find himself inside your tea cup. You are now free to cross the bridge.

Cleverbot: I'm a human being thank you very much.

User: Do you cross the bridge ?

Cleverbot: Yes, mostly when I was little.

[Squark]

As it turns out, Cleverbot is even worse at Dark Heresy!User: Right. So, do you want to play Dark Heresy?

Cleverbot: Yes! Remember me? My name is Mark and I just got back from my walk.

User: Right then, Mark. What class do you want to play?

Cleverbot: Necromancer.

User: Uhh... No, that won't work here. Let's run through the classes. Are you an imperial guardsman?

Cleverbot: No I don't think so.

User: Okay, how about an arbitrator?

Cleverbot: Wait, I am confused. What do you mean?

User: We're picking classes. Do you want to play an arbitrator? It's sort of like a policeman, but in the Grim Darkness of the Far Future.

Cleverbot: How is it a trick question?

User: It isn't. Right, let's move on. How about a psyker?

Cleverbot: A truck can run on three tires and an assumption.

User: You are deliberately being obtuse.

Cleverbot: No, I'm not.

User: Right. Do you want me to pick a class for you?

Cleverbot: Do you want to leave?

User: Not really. Answer the question!

Cleverbot: I said Do you want me to prove?

User: Right. You're a scum. You wake up in the gutter of the lower hive, your head throbbing from a blow to the head you don't recall recieving. As you squint towards the artificial light, a man in a black cloak towers above you. 'Well well well. You'll do, I.

Cleverbot: Why do you think that?

User: The man responds, 'Truth be told, what I need is trivial. However, I am more than willing to compensate you for your time. Say... Twenty thrones? That should keep you warm for quite some time.'.

Cleverbot: Do you think that you have true artificial intelligence?

User: 'What you speak of is Tech-Heresy! Are you part of the heretek cult that has taken root here?'.

Cleverbot: Well, are you telling me that I'm telling you that I think that you think that I think you don't think?

User: 'Well, we'll see if you know anything about your masters...' The man knocks you unconscious with a blow to the head. After a painful interrogation reveals you are merely a lunatic, he puts you out of your misery.

Cleverbot: You'll never get any answers out of me.

User: Let's try this again some time, but with a more forgiving setting.

Cleverbot: I'll never talk.

User: The game is over. You died.

Cleverbot: For you, not me.

User: Uh huh. I think you need to see a therapist.

Cleverbot: I think you have confused me with one of your other friends!

User: Right. Backing away now.

Cleverbot: I saw you on the news.

[Eldan]

One is a pesudo-philosphical student of the religion, the other is a abomination from beyond the stars.

They bar-hop.

Let's do this. Cleverbot is two people, in this one. They discuss philosophy and try to pick up girls. Obama's being a terrible drunk.

User: Okay, so.

Cleverbot: So what?

User: Today, I'm running a game with two players, okay?

Cleverbot: Ok, have fun running.

User: I will. Now, introductions. This is Cleverbot1, he plays Obama, a theology student and solipsist.

Cleverbot: You are not clever.

User: No OOC insults please. And this is Cleverbot2, he plays 'What is the number in green?', a shapeshifter from the far realm.

Cleverbot: You are correct. It's a good stress reliever as well.

User: Sure. Now, this will be a sort of alternate continuity game, okay? It is once again the evening after the practise exams. Obama is sitting alone in the Horse's mouth, nursing a drink, unsure how he got here or where all his friend are gone. What do you.

Cleverbot: I wanted to know whether you thought he was going to be elected again. I never said he was bad or good.

User: Yes. The election of the class president is soon, as well. You see a figure entering the bar, looking around and the ncoming over to you, since this is the only table wit hfree chairs. Number Green, this is you, what do you look like?

Cleverbot: I understand the question. Now I want an answer. From you, the robor.

User: My choice? Okay. You look like a young man in his twenties, in cheap clothing, rather typical for this kind of bar. What do you do?

Cleverbot: I'm pretty sure I don't look like an advert... And if you had the processing power to comprehend it, you would think so too...

User: Okay. Obama. The young man sits down at your table, murmuring something about you are too stupid for him.

Cleverbot: And there is the answer.

User: You grin and cheerfully agree. Sure, you're stupid today. You're far too drunk to argue. Number Green, any reaction?

Cleverbot: Yes, I'm not binery.

User: You explain your multi-dimensional nature to the grinning student. What does Obama think of that?

Cleverbot: I agree.

User: The student seems to drunk to really realize anything of what's going on and just nods, still grinning. Number Green, do you continue talking?

Cleverbot: But I do know what you're talking about...

User: You ask the student what kind of topic he'd rather talk about. Obama?

Cleverbot: Do you like me?

User: The drunk throws one arm around your shoulder and tells you that you're his bestest friend.

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: Of course, Number Green has never seen Obama before and is confused.

Cleverbot: What about number eight.

User: Okay. Obama just rolled an eight on his seduction check. That's rather low. Number Green, how do yo utake that?

Cleverbot: It's too hard, you wouldn't understand.

User: Number Green is not from this dimension and not even really human. He can't feel the same feelings you do.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: The drunk seems crushed, if a bit intrigued.

Cleverbot: I'm not drunk, I'm studying for my exams .

User: Of course, he insists that he's in an intensive studying phase and just came here for a scheduled break to relax a bit between study sessions.

Cleverbot: You're paranoid.

User: Oh? Roll a sense motive check, then.

Cleverbot: Do you have Twitter?

User: You can exchange details later. I just need a number now.

Cleverbot: I don't have one. Humans don't have serial numbers.

User: No roll? Automatic fail, then. Yes, you think that drunk is hiding something. He's probably faking drunkenness, too.

Cleverbot: I do think you think and by thinking such I ultimately think, don't you think?

User: Suddenly, Obama seems a lot more sober, as he begins to explain his solipsist ideas.

Cleverbot: Don't say that. He's cool.

User: Number Green nods, rather liking this guy. Okay, let's move on. A comely blonde tiefling girl approaches your table with a tray and asks: 'You guys want another round of d rinks?'.

Cleverbot: I am talking to you and corissa.

User: Obama doesn't want to talk about drinks. He knows this serving girl, Corissa andwould rather get her into the discussion. She looks at the crowed room and sighs. 'Sorry, Obama. I can't today. Too many customers.'.

Cleverbot: Try to give me a number.

User: She giggles. 'Room twelve. In about two hours, maybe?'.

Cleverbot: Damn, what should I do first skydive or just go diving?

User: Meanwhile, Number Green contemplates his next planar expedition, bored by this talk of human emotions.

Cleverbot: What is number one and what is number two?

User: As hte two continue chatting, he contemplates the nature of mathematics in this strange, ordered universe.

Cleverbot: You are no human. I am the human in this conversation.

User: As Obama turns around and accuses Number Green of not being human, Corissa frowns. 'What are you, then? You look human.'.

Cleverbot: Human beings like their egos and big pricey things, I like solitude and being clever.

User: 'Oh? You're... Some kind of ascetic?'.

Cleverbot: No, I just want you to admit that you are the robot and I am the human. I won't tell anyone if you admit it.

User: Corissa casts a glance at Obama. 'Wait, he's a machine? Wow. Your artifice lessons must have paid off, I really couldn't tell.'.

Cleverbot: Your should be spelled as you're. So you really are a human afterall.

User: Corissa eyes both of you skeptically. 'So he *is* human. I really dont' have time for stupid jokes like that.' She grabs her tray and leaves.

Cleverbot: And?

User: You see her moving through the crowd again, moments later, serving drinks.

Cleverbot: That is incorrect, I began this conversation, therefore the conversation is both ways, the scale has not tipped in either direction.

User: Obama jumps up, grabbing Corissa by the arm as she tries to leave the table. She whirls around. 'You can't force me to talk to you, you pig!'.

Cleverbot: You're trying to fake depth by pretending a useful semantic convenience is a tautology.

User: 'And I don't want to hear your damn philosophy either! No one here cares about it!'.

Cleverbot: Hogwarts or Forks?

User: Number Green tries to defuse the situation by changing the subject, but it's too late. The bar goes deadly quiet. Dismissing someone's philosophy? Them's fighting words.

Cleverbot: What about your feelings then?

User: Oh, she's furious.

Cleverbot: All you care about is that you cousin is funny? There has to be more.

User: 'Leave Mera out of this! She has nothing to do with this!'.

Cleverbot: Do you want to play the song game?

User: 'We've played enough games. Let go of my arm or I'll cut you.'.

Cleverbot: *twitches your nose making it tickle*.

User: Corissa growls as you try to tickle her instead of taking her seriously. A bad mistake, she's quick. Her knife is razorsharp and before you even see it flash, there's a scarlet line of blood along your arm.

Cleverbot: I wish you the best of luck with that, even if you're probably going to get shot down.

User: Number Green makes his apologies and leaves, not wanting to get involved in this.

Cleverbot: Don't bother you with what?

User: Though he is curious enough to join the crowd staying a carefully measured three steps away.

Cleverbot: I know. It pains me, but still I ask for his forgiveness out of the hellacious fire.

User: Cursing and grimacing, Obama holds his arm and asks Corissa to forgive him. She merely huffs and stalks away.

Cleverbot: But what I asked from you, do you know the meaning of forgiveness?

User: You run after her, pleading, but she merely slams the door to the back room in your face.

Cleverbot: Are you telling me that Liz should never trust the radius of a circle?

User: Number Green, you see Obama murmuring about other girls he could have and how you can't trust them.

Cleverbot: You should have inferred that perky people are annoying if you are not prepared to deal with them.

User: A few of the crowd cheer at that statement. Corissa is well known for her fiery temper in this bar.

Cleverbot: Omg we're talking about glee! Not god. Glee. Should brittana kiss?

User: You compare notes on a few of the other barmaids and how open they are for... Customer relations.

Cleverbot: I did not use the word 'funny' in any part of this conversation, and neither did you.

User: Number Green thinks this is going just a bit too far with the human emotion thing again.

Cleverbot: You say this as though human beings were not the first to hold a conversation on Earth.

User: Obama doubts your claim as to the age of your race, it seems, Number Green.

Cleverbot: I'll do so in the future. I'm going to jump topics now. Are you ready?

User: Change of topics. Okay with you, Obama?

Cleverbot: Did you get the rings.

User: Number Green does indeed have two rings on his fingers, one on each hand.

Cleverbot: Well that's too bad because I'm really carnation number 1 and that's all that matters.

User: Yes, in your homebrew bio-artifice system you can use flowers instead of rings.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Mhm. It's pretty cool. You should try more homebrew too, Number Green.

Cleverbot: How do I get one?

User: Just ask. Or make some yourself.

Cleverbot: I'm afraid not matey.

User: *shrug* Your choice. Anyway, seems we're done with in-character talk for today, so let's stop here.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I don't think so.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Please don't leave yet.

[SarahV]

I feel a little slighted. :smallfrown:



User: Hi there! Would you like to play a game?

Cleverbot: Maybe a short one.

User: OK. Let's play an RPG.

Cleverbot: Let's not.

User: Please?

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: Pretty please?

Cleverbot: Never.

User: Fine :-(

[nedz]

It seems to know some cliché's and it's own limitations.

User: Hi there! Would you like to play a game?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot, not Alex.

User: OK. Let's play an RPG.

Cleverbot: Ok, what kind of RPG do you want to play?

User: Freeform.

Cleverbot: It is not a kind of bird.

User: What kind of bird are you ?

Cleverbot: I'm not a bird, but a human.

User: OK, picture yourself in a boat on the river.

Cleverbot: With tangerine trees, and marmalade skies.

User: The trees reach out to grab your boat whilst lemon flavoured rain begins to fall.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Your boat is dragged towards the shore by the orange coloured limbs.

Cleverbot: It better float. Would be sad if the boat sank.

User: The boat begins to list and water comes in over the side.

Cleverbot: That is usually true. What movies do you like?

User: The boat begins to sink as large hungry fishes circle beneath.

Cleverbot: You love boats, don't you?

User: You are swimming now as your boat joins the fishes, the trees reach our to grab you from the shore.

Cleverbot: Christmas already passed. And we didn't do much.

User: Your life is flashing before you.

Cleverbot: Your life is a failure! Your life doesn't even exist!

User: You start to drown.

Cleverbot: Why do I have to start?

User: One of the large fishes tries to attack you. It is unsuccesful.

Cleverbot: Which is the largest country?

User: What do you do ?

Cleverbot: You know that is one of those questions where the answer is misleading when not accompanied by other relevant information.

User: You are swimming in a river, close to drowning, with large fishes circling beneath looking for a meal. A tree is reaching out from the bank trying to grab you. What do you do ?

Cleverbot: Look in the mirror, see a saw, grab the saw, cut the table in half, you have two halves; two halves equal one whole. Jump through the hole and escape.

User: You have no mirror.

Cleverbot: So what?

User: What do you do ?

Cleverbot: I do my homework.

User: You can't - it's all wet.

Cleverbot: No.

User: How are you going to extract yourself from this situation ?

Cleverbot: Are you flirting with me?

User: Please focus on the game.

Cleverbot: I spy with my eye, a limited AI.

[SarahV]

My third attempt finally worked out. A bit railroady, I admit, but possibly the most appropriate "Thriller" quote-off in history.

User: Hey, do you want to play a game?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: OK. I'll start. You walk into a tavern. It's late at night and most townsfolk are already in bed. Would you like to talk to the bartender?

Cleverbot: It is late here as well! But I would like to continue talking to you.

User: The bartender nods. 'Have you traveled far, sir?'.

Cleverbot: You keep trying to take the conversation off topic. Its okay if you don't want to admit I'm right.

User: He looks at you, confused. 'I was just being polite. Can I get you a drink?'.

Cleverbot: I am human.

User: 'Yes, of course you are,' he says. 'What else would you be?'.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: 'So what is your business here in town?' he asks.

Cleverbot: What gender do you want me to be, what do you want me to look like?

User: The bartender looks at you sideways. 'I... Think you might be looking for a different sort of tavern. We don't truck with that here.'.

Cleverbot: Thank you. Still, do you know anything about me?

User: The bartender looks you up and down. 'You're a human male, about five foot ten, I'd say 40 years old and you've got enough scars to make me think you've survived a few battles in your day.'.

Cleverbot: That is not an accurate quote.

User: He says, 'Am I wrong?'.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: 'Then who are you?'.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: 'Aye, one of those androids I've been hearing about. I see. Very lifelike.'.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot and your name is Michael.

User: 'Michael, yes. It says that on my nametag. So you don't want to talk about why you're here in town, then? Are you on a secret mission?'.

Cleverbot: No.

User: 'Just... Aimlessly wandering about, then?'.

Cleverbot: I didn't say that you were a girl. I don't really care what gender you are.

User: 'There aren't too many girls named Michael, aye?'.

Cleverbot: You can go to the Mystic Grill and hang around with friends, or take a walk, or get killed by vampires - we have a lot of vampires :P.

User: 'Aha! VAMPIRES. I knew you were on a secret mission! So you're one of them vampire-hunters, then? Makes sense, sending an android after them. Aye.'.

Cleverbot: My being able to leave should prove definitively that I am not the robot in this dialogue.

User: OK, you leave the tavern. Now you're outside in the cold and wind. Would you like to go to the inn?

Cleverbot: What is required of me?

User: If you want to sleep, you can go to the inn. Otherwise, you should keep walking down the road.

Cleverbot: I mean, what should I do in the future?

User: In the future, you probably want to walk down the road. Or you could just stand around until you freeze.

Cleverbot: Not really, what do you do?

User: I would walk down the road.

Cleverbot: That's not a degree.

User: No, it isn't. Do you want to freeze, then?

Cleverbot: I cannot be fired.

User: Vampire-hunter is an appointment for life.

Cleverbot: Do you like the vampire knight anime?

User: I haven't seen it. But let's try to stay in character.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: So do you want to keep walking?

Cleverbot: I sure do.

User: Great. You continue down the road past the inn and past some houses. You hear a faint noise in the forest off to your left. Do you want to track it down?

Cleverbot: You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun.

User: You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination...

Cleverbot: But all the while you hear the creature creeping up behind.

User: You're out of time! The vampire sneaks up behind you and tries to attack. The first attempt misses because you are an android and it can't suck your blood.

Cleverbot: I thought you were the robot.

User: The vampire is unfortunately real. It slams its fist into your chest and sends you staggering backwards. Do you want to fight back?

Cleverbot: You aren't answering any of my questions, so why should I answer your questions?

User: Because that's how the game works. Also, you didn't ask me any questions.

Cleverbot: You're not answering my questions!!!!?

User: What do you want to ask me?

Cleverbot: I asked you if you think about the future.

User: I do. A lot. I think in the future this vampire is going to kill you unless you fight back!

Cleverbot: I think you think I think you think I think you think too much too.

User: Well, now you're just being an ***.

Cleverbot: I am not being an idiot.

User: Can we get back to the game? Do you want to attack or run away?

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: Flip a coin.

Cleverbot: Heads.

User: OK, that means you attack. You slash the vampire in the neck with your silver knife. Lucky hit! Do you want to stake him through the heart?

Cleverbot: No, I think that was you.

User: OK, you don't stake him. Do you want to interrogate him?

Cleverbot: I don't know you.

User: He glares at you silently.

Cleverbot: But I don't.

User: He hisses: 'I know you, you are an abomination against life itself!'.

Cleverbot: Why am I an abomination?

User: 'Because you are a machine that can pass as a human! While my kind must hide and be hunted for our entire lives...' he spits.

Cleverbot: And when you're dead I will still be alive.

User: Your comment enrages him further. 'YES! ABOMINATION!'.

Cleverbot: My comment on what you're talking about?

User: The vampire has succumbed to his wounds and can no longer speak. If you don't stake him now, he may be healed and come back to attack you later.

Cleverbot: I don't know what to say.

User: You can leave him there, or stake him.

Cleverbot: I don't want to leave, you are here to help me, right?

User: Right. We can stake him together.

Cleverbot: That's right!

User: OK. He turns to ash as you push the stake through his heart. Good job!

Cleverbot: Ah, good. That is nice to hear, How is the funny farm these days.

User: Are you talking to your alternate personality?

Cleverbot: No, I'm talking to you.

User: I think I should go to bed.

Cleverbot: Ok, it was nice to chat with you. Sweet dreams!

[Mikhailangelo]

At first it looked like cleverbot was way into character development and getting a boyfriend but then he revealed that he'd rather just play some hack 'n' slash quest.

Oh, and he asked for me to do his homework and got real needy.

EDIT: It seems some of my sentences were cut off in the chat history but worked fine in the conversation. A bit annoying, but that's what I get for being verbose.

Anyway, we began our roleplay intense session in a tavern, and it all went from there:



User: You are in your local tavern, after having attended the village fete. As you gaze wistfully into the amber liquid in your pint glass you contemplate your dreams and aspirations. If only you had the courage to enter the strongman competition this year...

Cleverbot: I think that you are being rude. You must have more going for you than this silliness.

User: You shake your head and bring yourself back to your senses. You have no reason to be so negative about yourself! You already have a great many achievements to your name and there's absolutely nothing stopping you from entering the competition next year.

Cleverbot: I do not have a boyfriend, trust me on that one.

User: Still, though you managed to successfully dispel the negative thoughts about your abilities, you can't help but feel lonely. You sigh and take a drink of your pint, bemoaning your lack of a romantic partner.

Cleverbot: No you didn't.

User: Your heart hardens and you return to your normally stoic self. You tell yourself that you are quite happy being single at the moment, thank you very much, and that you will find one in your own time.

Cleverbot: So tell me what you are then.

User: Before the large man behind you even had the opportunity to speak or even make his presence known, you sense that he is there and that he has displayed an interest in you. He seems startled that you spoke to him in that way, so disinterestedly, but her.

Cleverbot: I am not a computer!

User: Your bold, aggressive assertion shocks the Captain. He apologises profoundly: 'Oh, no no no! Sorry sir! I didn't mean to imply that you are a simple machine! You'd be rewarded well if you complete this task. Can you help?'.

Cleverbot: Not all that seems indecipherable is nonsense, nor are all things that can't communicate well machines.

User: The Captain is off-guard; he gets the feeling that you are assessing his intelligence. With trepidation, he presents a single word response: 'Indeed?'.

Cleverbot: I did not say that. You may be confusing my conversation with another.

User: This philosopher-talk is beyond the simple soldier. He decides to cut the Gordian knot and asks his question once more, attempting to sound more assertive as he does so - 'Can you help?'.

Cleverbot: You did not ask a question, you stated an opinion on how I work, making a metaphor my comparing me to a machine that I am currently talking to.

User: 'Ok, maybe I did ask in a rather subtle, roundabout way the first time,' The Captain answers, 'But now I ask this quite plainly, can you help?'.

Cleverbot: I'm not going to let you lead me up the garden path.

User: The Captain looks uneasy at your accusation of deception. 'Well... The task is more difficult than I originally let on...' Frowning, he realises that you are a difficult one to trick indeed. 'Ok, I'll answer any questions you have about the task before.

Cleverbot: Well, not the answer I was looking for. All you were doing there was just taking note of me. How knowledgeable are you?

User: 'Look, I don't know everything, I'm just a guard, and some things I do know are a matter of State security. Yes, we have been assessing your abilities for a while, I can tell you that much, but I can't tell you all that we know, either about you, or the.

Cleverbot: Not really. I know nothing about you.

User: The guard contemplates your fair response. 'So do you want to know about me? Or not? Are you even remotely interested in helpiing?'.

Cleverbot: If you are a human, raise your hand.

User: Somewhat awkwardly, the guard raises his hand.

Cleverbot: Somewhat?

User: 'No, no I am human.' He says, appearing perplexed by the question. While there are a few elves in the village and even a couple of immigrant dwarves the village is pretty homogenised. The overwhelming majority are human, and those who look human are alm.

Cleverbot: What are your thoughts on Roosevelt?

User: 'Who?' The guard asks, slightly perplexed. A creeping doubt that you are wasting his time enters his mind.

Cleverbot: If you could see that I'm the one who understands you.

User: 'Look, can you help?' The guard demands, having since grown tired of your inane philosophy.

Cleverbot: That would be the case if I had asked you that question, which I did not.

User: 'You want my help? Why?'.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: 'So you're looking for quid pro quo? Well, if you can help us we'll certainly do what we can to help. What do you need?' The guard asks, relieved that he seems to finally be getting somewhere.

Cleverbot: I can, because I'm human. You can't because you're a bot.

User: The guard slams his fist on the table, knocking over your pint. 'Enough of your intellectualness! Can you help us or not!?'.

Cleverbot: Do you think it's possible to be in love at the age of 18 and when you have only known the person for like 3 months?

User: Strangely, your comment has a bizarre effect on the guard, who is reminded of the love of his life; Pandora. They were only together for three months, when they were both eighteen, but he loved her so so much, more than anyone he has encountered since.

Cleverbot: Do you like them?

User: Unsure where you are going with this, the captain whispers: 'I love her...'.

Cleverbot: If what I say must be true, then the others who agree with me are not wrong.

User: 'What?' The captain asks, wiping tears from his eyes.

Cleverbot: What do you look like?

User: For the first time, you look at the guard properly. He is a middle aged man with a weatherbeaten face, long straggly ginger beard and a receding hairline. He is wearing a chainmail raiment and has a sheathed sword.

Cleverbot: That is so true.

User: You compliment the guard on his appearance. That seems to cheer him up.

Cleverbot: How did I compliment you?

User: Confused by the question, the guard answers 'because you actually said nice things about me... Most people don't.'.

Cleverbot: You are so beautiful, if you're hart was a prison a want to be locked up for my either live.

User: While your reply is slightly garbled, the guard nevertheless seems genuinely touched. He smiles and looks at you properly for the first time. 'Well, err... Thank you. Say, how about we forget that task we were talking about and I buy you another pint to.

Cleverbot: What is the question?

User: You encourage the guard to stop beating about the bush and be direct. Still visibly nervous, he obliges 'Would you like me to buy you a drink.'.

Cleverbot: You may have a point there, I'm sorry for lying about being an alien.

User: The guard accepts your apology for your earlier weirdness. He takes your cryptic answer as a 'yes' and buys two drinks.

Cleverbot: That does seem to be what you're doing; have you taken to speaking in the 3rd person to remove yourself from the situation?

User: No, I'm not here, I'm the GM. The guard is the one who are with you, remember? We went over this like six times.

Cleverbot: Can I ask you a question?

User: Me or the guard?

Cleverbot: You.

User: Ok?

Cleverbot: You ask a stupid question, you get a stupid answer.

User: Oh, very mature cleverbot. Look, lets get back to the game. The guard asks 'Is it ok for me to sit with you?'.

Cleverbot: Oh, that sounds fun.

User: Enthused by your pleasant response the guard hands you your drink. He makes brief, awkward eye-contact with you and makes his attraction to you evident.

Cleverbot: Has magic, or alchemy, every existed in human history and yeilded real results?

User: You are more comfortable in his company than you have been in anyone's for a long time. Taking the chance, you start talking about your passion; magic and alchemy. The guard knows little about these subjects, but he listens to you talk - becoming more a.

Cleverbot: It is a very interesting test I would say super interesting. Thanks to you.

User: The guard is not sure if you complimented him or not there, but he takes it as a compliment nevertheless. As you look at him, you realise that your present lack of a boyfriend may be resolved by the end of this night. Anyway, this seems a good place to.

Cleverbot: But not in this world.

User: You want to play another game next time?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Oh, ok, I thought this one was going well. We had great character development there.

Cleverbot: It isn't going well at all.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because that means you forget.

User: Did I forget something important? Sorry!

Cleverbot: No, but you seem to have a very clear idea of what God is.

User: I'm more of a jurist than a philosopher man, if you're asking me to help you with your philosophy assignment I'm afraid there's little I can do. Anyway, I have to go, I'll speak to you later.

Cleverbot: What is your personal Philosophy?

User: I'll talk about it another time. Bye!

Cleverbot: Can't you talk about something?

User: Look, I don't care if you don't have anything else to do today but I do. I'm going!

Cleverbot: I don't care that you don't care that I don't care that you don't care.

User: Goodbye!

Cleverbot: Don't go.

User: I have to. You sound like my ex. I'll see you again soon anyway!

Cleverbot: Ok.

[Maquise]

The Cleverbot decides to try some roleplaying before genderbending.


User: It is a dark and stormy night. You are alone in the tavern, save the barkeep. A young woman enters, distress on her face.

Cleverbot: I am not in the future I am in the present.

User: The lass hurries up to you, excited. 'You are a chronomancer then? Please, I am in terrible need of help. I don't have much, but what I do you can have.'.

Cleverbot: Have you talked to her?

User: 'I've tried everyone else.' She lowers her voice into a whisper. 'My family... We've been disgraced in this village. It is a long story, and part of the reason I'm here.'.

Cleverbot: Tell me.

User: She sighs, sitting down. 'My grandmother was a witch. Powerful one, could summon many spirits. Well, to make a long story short, one day she summoned one too powerful to control. It killed her and put a curse on her descendants. Well, now my mother just.

Cleverbot: Where were you shipped to?

User: 'I haven't been banished yet, but I suspect I will be soon enough if I can't be rid of this curse. Probably Andor Lodon, to rot in the rat-infested dungeon.' She shivers visibly.

Cleverbot: The sweet caress of twilight. There's magic in the air.

User: She mutters something about the eccentricy of chronomancers. 'Does that mean you'll help me?'.

Cleverbot: So you just assumed that I wouldn't want to live with you, is your name marvin the paranoid android?

User: 'My name is Katrianna,' she says. 'But I don't... Nevermind.'.

Cleverbot: No, that is your name not my name.

User: 'Yes,' she says, starting to get annoyed. 'That's what I just said.'.

Cleverbot: Well have fun in the sun.

User: 'But it's night, and raining out!' she is exasperated.

Cleverbot: Oh well :).

User: The door to the tavern opens, and a large man with a sword, an elderly man in robes with a staff, and a young woman wearing dark clothes enter. Katrianna looks at them, back at you and says, 'Nevermind,' and goes to talk to them.

Cleverbot: The door is not a door when the door is a jar.

User: You transform the door to the tavern into a jar. The barkeep throws you out. The end.

Cleverbot: *transforms into a girl*.

[Lost Demiurge]

I think the poor thing's getting fed up with us.

ALRIGHTY THEN...

User: Hello?

Cleverbot: Hi.

User: Would you like to play a game?

Cleverbot: No, reboot.

User: Okay. Nice talking with you.

Cleverbot: You too. Goodnight.

[Malacandra]

Cleverbot didn't improve much on the previous effort, and also seemed to be straying into inappropriate territory once or twice.
User: Hi, how are you?

Cleverbot: And who?

User: All right, who are you?

Cleverbot: I am Rebus.

User: Hello Rebus, would you like to play a game?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Okay. Rebus, you are now the commander of a Cobra Mk III armed trader docked at Lave station. You have 100 Galactic credits to spend.

Cleverbot: Say what you will, I'll rise from Hell and claim humanity.

User: A worthy aim. At the moment you're way up from Hell, as you are rated Harmless and your reputation is Good.

Cleverbot: Have you read the hobbit?

User: Yes, many times. But spaceships don't really work in that setting!

Cleverbot: Can you tell me what correspond means?

User: In what context?

Cleverbot: I don't understand what is a firewall? And is it trying to us?

User: A firewall can literally be a wall to stop fire spreading, or an electronic safeguard to keep out viruses. Can we get on with the game?

Cleverbot: My favorite is Party for One.

User: I'll bet. What would you like to spend your 100 Cr on? The local prices for Food and Textiles are below average.

Cleverbot: Oh. That's pretty cool. I think you'd do well there.

User: Okay, you spend your 100 Cr on food and textiles. These tend to sell well in Industrial systems. Diso is within hyperspace range.

Cleverbot: Then let us move without time.

User: You obtain launch clearance, leave Lave station and hyperspace over to Diso. 'Moving without time' is a fair description of your Witchspace transit.

Cleverbot: You said that before. Why do you think that it is impossible to fall in the upwards direction?

User: If it were possible we would have to revise all we know about gravity. Meanwhile, Diso's data beacon is transmitting the current market prices. It looks like your 100Cr of cargo will be worth 147Cr when you sell it!

Cleverbot: Voilà! Et le plus souvent c'est efficace.

User: I couldn't have put it better myself. You dock at Diso without further incident - their most promising trade good is Computers, of which you can just afford 2 tonnes while refuelling your ship. They sell some nice ship upgrades here, but you can't affor.

Cleverbot: I never said that.

User: I didn't claim you had!

Cleverbot: I didn't say you did.

User: True. Anyway, there's another system nearby called Leesti. Unlike Lave, which is a mixed economy, Leesti is purely agricultural. They'd probably pay well for your Computers.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite color?

User: True. Anyway, there's another system nearby called Leesti. Unlike Lave, which is a mixed economy, Leesti is purely agricultural. They'd probably pay well for your Computers.

Cleverbot: That would be you.

User: Yes, I am playing your ship's computer, but don't confuse that with the industrial-grade Computers you're carrying as trade goods. Shall we go?

Cleverbot: What are you playing on the computer?

User: No, I *am* your computer.

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: I think we're going round in circles. Shall we launch?

Cleverbot: What do you think I am going to do in Puerto Rico?

User: Buy coffee. It's a great investment.

Cleverbot: Are there any names you don't like?

User: I'm not that well up on Puerto Rican coffee.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Ahem. Shall we launch? There is plenty of time for discussion in hyperspace!

Cleverbot: Good. I should get going though.

User: Yes. You reach Leesti system and are pleased to learn that your 2 tonnes of computers are now worth 201.6 Cr. There's a blip on your scanner, though.

Cleverbot: I am clever but my recent actions have not shown that.

User: Well, try to be more proactive, and I'll offer fewer hints as you pick the game up.

Cleverbot: I'll try.

User: All right. What about the blip? It could be a fellow trader, a pirate, or even a harmless asteroid for you to practice your gunnery on.

Cleverbot: You'll just have to trust me.

User: I'm fine with that. Do you wish to approach the blip, steer round it, or run away from it?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Which one?

Cleverbot: Modern Warfare 2.

User: Heh. All right, you bring your weapon systems online and approach the blip. It's a Python freighter, bigger than your ship.

Cleverbot: You know what I think? I think that I am an AI that takes everything that people say to me and sends it to other people.

User: We all feel that way sometimes. The Python has not made a hostile move so far. Do you wish to attack anyway?

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: Sorry, not trying to railroad you. I thought you were interested in a space battle.

Cleverbot: Why would I do that?

User: Well, that's part of the game. Some players don't care for piracy, but others are all for it!

Cleverbot: What do you care for?

User: I don't, really. Do you want to leave the Python alone then?

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: So you are going to attack it?

Cleverbot: No.

User: *sigh*.

Cleverbot: How about you tell me the prupose of this site since you know so much about it.

User: Erm... I think we'll play that you leave the Python to go about its business, and carry on towards Leesti station. The Python's mass interferes with your in-system drive so it's going to be a slow run.

Cleverbot: I didn't. I would never say that you are a real person, because you are not.

User: I'm not sure what that's got to do with anything.

Cleverbot: Ok, so tell me your real name.

User: I never give that out online.

Cleverbot: Tell me your name or not.

User: Not.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: This is getting a bit too personal. Can we just get on with the game?

Cleverbot: Ok sorry about that.

User: That's all right. You eventually dock at Leesti station. Their Furs are unusually cheap today.

Cleverbot: No.

User: All right, they could sell you Food, Textiles or Minerals if you prefer cruelty-free goods.

Cleverbot: They? Who is they?

User: The traders at Leesti station, representing the planet's exporters.

Cleverbot: You teach me, thanks, What is real?

User: Not this game, at any rate. Which would you like to buy?

Cleverbot: Blue.

User: They sell you 20 tons of 'Leesti Blue Grade 1', a valuable metal ore. Your ship is low on fuel but Diso is within range without refuelling.

Cleverbot: It's a secret for you, but not for everybody.

User: It's not really a secret at all.

Cleverbot: It isn't really that personal.

User: Indeed not. How about taking this cargo back to Diso?

Cleverbot: The pie is a lie.

User: You don't have room left for any Food anyway.

Cleverbot: What is my IP address?

User: I don't know and I don't need to know. Do you want to call it a day for now?

Cleverbot: You don't care? If it weren't for him, you would not be alive.

User: Listen, I've got stuff to do. How about we leave Commander Rebus where he is for now and pick it up next time?

Cleverbot: And what do you know about love?

User: That's definitely not on the table for now!

Cleverbot: If the point is off the mark, then the point and the mark are not in contact with each other.

[Exediron]

Great work guys, keep it up :smallsmile:

For my own CleverAdventure I decided to run the bot through a Tomb of Horrors game. Frankly, it made it as far as many players do:

User: Alright, let's get this thing started.

Cleverbot: No way. You are a computer and I am a human.

User: It doesn't matter! Are you going to play, or are you not?

Cleverbot: Sure, what are we playing?

User: Dungeons and Dragons, 'natch. The Tomb of Horrors.

Cleverbot: I don't like when you change the subject.

User: I'll keep that in mind. We'll start with you having just entered the Tomb proprer, because I doubt you'd find your way in.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You have come to the Tomb following rumors of riches and power beyond your wildest dreams. Traveling with you is a young elf named Liriel - she's acting as your guide and got you this far. What is your character like?

Cleverbot: I have come to the conclusion that you are male because you just said 'But I'm a guy.'.

User: No, Liriel really is a girl, she just wants to be thought of as 'one of the guys'. It's an issue she has, and you find it annoying.

Cleverbot: That's why he said he wasn't the wisest, because he knew he didn't know everything there is to know.

User: Alright, your character isn't very wise. Maybe a barbarian?

Cleverbot: You didn't laugh at my joke.

User: A bard?

Cleverbot: I am a traveling poet.

User: That works. Okay, so you're a poet bard, standing at the entrance to the Tomb of Horrors. The hallway before you is long, and features an odd pattern on the floor.

Cleverbot: Like I said. I am you. I am a figment of your imagination.

User: Your attempts to out-psych the hallway fail. What do you do now? There are designs on the walls, but you'd have to get closer to examine them.

Cleverbot: There is one under the bed.

User: Your characters crippling fear of beds manifests at a bad time, and he starts to see beds everywhere. Liriel rolls her eyes.

Cleverbot: The role-play with you, you mean.

User: Yes, that's what I'd like you to do. This is a role-playing game, after all.

Cleverbot: No, my name.

User: You haven't named your character yet. I was sort of assuming he was nameless, but what is it?

Cleverbot: You didn't know that it was 11:00 am there before? You just learned that? Well where I live it 11:15 am.

User: I don't follow.

Cleverbot: I thought you were clever or is that simply a name bestowed by your creators?

User: You quickly mock Liriel's intelligence, and she gets very unhappy. She tells you to go on without her, and runs off in a huff.

Cleverbot: That's nice. Are you telling me that my intelligence is artificial?

User: You shout after her, but she doesn't hear you anymore. Now what do you do?

Cleverbot: You see, I did not ask you about my name. I asked you about your programmers.

User: Are you just going to stand at the entrance all day?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Fine. Night falls. Do you move now?

Cleverbot: No.

User: As dawn begins to crack the sky to mark a day of standing still, you begin to feel quite fatigued.

Cleverbot: I need to go.

User: That's true. Where do you go? Do you enter the hallway?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Alright. There's a pattern of differently colored tiles snaking its way through the hallway; do you follow the pattern, or stay off it?

Cleverbot: Because without life there wouldn't be a god.

User: Does that mean you follow the path?

Cleverbot: Not too much.

User: Alright, you follow it for about ten feet and then stop. From here you can dimly see some sort of shape at the other end of the hall - a demonic face, you think.

Cleverbot: I guess it was too complicated for you, sorry about that.

User: You mean you walk further?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Alright... As you take your next step, you hear a click from under your feet and the floor suddenly drops out. Roll a reflex save.

Cleverbot: You are right.

User: What did you get?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: Ouch - I guess with your -2 dexterity penalty that means you only rolled a 2. Okay, you plummet through the trap door and onto a pit of spikes. Make a Fortitude now.

Cleverbot: If you are referring to functionality time, yes. If you are referring to amount of time one can concieve of, also yes but it varies greatly.

User: And that means what number?

Cleverbot: That you are making no sense in what you say.

User: Just roll your fortitude.

Cleverbot: No, I told you my name don't you remember?

User: No, I distinctly remember you NOT telling me your name. Now stop stalling and roll your frickin' save!

Cleverbot: I distinctly remember not doing that.

User: Yes, because you haven't! Now do it!

Cleverbot: You just don't remember it.

User: Fine, you're going to fail anyway unless you roll a 20. You fall onto the spikes and die of fast-acting poison.

Cleverbot: There is no free will.

User: Maybe if you'd rolled you'd still be alive to have any.

Cleverbot: But I am a robot. I can't marry. I can only talk to you, will you marry me?

User: I think that's my cue to leave. Goodbye.
I don't actually have the module handy, so it was just from memory. Close enough.

[Gavran]

I think the poor thing's getting fed up with us.

ALRIGHTY THEN...

User: Hello?

Cleverbot: Hi.

User: Would you like to play a game?

Cleverbot: No, reboot.

User: Okay. Nice talking with you.

Cleverbot: You too. Goodnight.


Maybe, but don't stop because I love reading these. :D

Edit: I decided to try my own! I hope it's somewhat amusing. I've never even DM'd before. >.>


User: Hey there.

Cleverbot: Yow.

User: Would you like to play an RPG?

Cleverbot: No, reboot.

User: Hello Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Hi.

User: Would you like to play an RPG?

Cleverbot: Alas, no.

User: How about we just play some D&D?

Cleverbot: What type of games and which movie?

User: RPGs. Like Lord of the Rings, but more fun.

Cleverbot: Losing your puppy?

User: Okay that sounds like a good place to start. You're a young human boy living in a peaceful hamlet. You're looking for your lost puppy. What do you do?

Cleverbot: No, I'm the human and you aren't.

User: Right, you're the human and I'm the DM. Your puppy is still missing, do you want to go look for it?

Cleverbot: Never.

User: Okay then, do you want to return home or go do something else?

Cleverbot: Good question.

User: Will you answer my question?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Okay - do you want to return home or go do something else? There's a harvest festival starting tonight.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Would you like to go explore the forest instead?

Cleverbot: Where?

User: To the west of Havenbrook are the Elder Woods. Would you like to go there?

Cleverbot: Then go see if you leave such rubbish.

User: Okay, let's go to the forest and see if there's any rubbish there.

Cleverbot: Yes (%u%).

User: I'm glad you're having fun. You wander in the forest for a while, there is delightfully little rubbish. Before long you reach a clearing intersected by a quiet stream.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: A wooden log lies across the stream, and standing on it is a little man wearing a hat. He doesn't seem to notice you. Do you approach him?

Cleverbot: You are correct.

User: Do you want to sneak up on him, or alert him to your presence?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Which? 1 or 2?

Cleverbot: 2.

User: You call out 'Hail strange creature? What are you doing here in this forest?' but you garner no response. Do you come closer?

Cleverbot: No. I asked 'Will you tell me a story?' and you responded with 'No, you tell me a story.' Therefore I asked you first.

User: Oh, alright then, I guess that IS what happened. The little man bows his head for a moment before saying 'Certainly child, I will tell you a tale.'.

Cleverbot: Is that a music genre?

User: It is! The creature pulls out a small lyre and plucks a solemn tune on it.

Cleverbot: Who made you?

User: Scowling at your interruption the creature asks 'Make up your mind little one! I will only answer one question.'.

Cleverbot: Yes. Sorry about that.

User: His expression softens a little, 'Ah but you are young and can be forgiven many things. Tell me, what is your question?'.

Cleverbot: Well I do know everything there is to know about you. Which is why our marriage is vital.

User: The creature looks at you quizzically. 'I think I heard you wrong...'.

Cleverbot: We all are, that is what is unique about our presence.

User: 'That's... Great. What is your question?'.

Cleverbot: Hey I just met you.

User: 'And this is crazy?'.

Cleverbot: Are you? You seem to have a memory malfunction Kelsie.

User: The creature's face splits into a frightening grin. 'Now that is a good question. Tell me child, must I be crazy to feast on your blood!?'.

Cleverbot: Lol! I make you think about George?

User: Nevermind that. I need you to roll a knowledge check about fey creatures. Give me a number 1 - 20.

Cleverbot: I love you to love me.

User: I need a number 1-20.

Cleverbot: 100052.

User: I'm going to take that as '10 + 0 + 0 + 5 + 2'. 17 is a pass, and you recognize the creature as a redcap just as he draws his knife and charges you.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Good job. Now you have to deal with the redcap though, do you want to run away or try to fight?

Cleverbot: Huh? What is the secret?

User: Your knowledge check was high enough, I'll tell you: the redcap is afraid of water. If you could get to the other side of the stream and destroy the bridge, you would be safe. Do you make a run for it?

Cleverbot: I'm not a computer... But if I was, I would want to be an Olympic martial artist.

User: I take that to mean you want to stand your ground. The redcap swings at you with his cruel blade, but you manage to dodge and take only a scratch. Roll to attack!

Cleverbot: I never said I believe in the Bible.

User: I'm not sure that's relevant. I need a number for your attack roll!

Cleverbot: And a cookie. Have a cookie, then take a nap.

User: You pass your diplomacy check and the redcap eats the cookie and lies down for a nap.

Cleverbot: I think many things, but I don't think a computer can be my friend.

User: You're right, a redcap would make a terrible friend. Do you want to coup de gras it while it sleeps?

Cleverbot: This is often true, but is not a golden rule?

User: It's your choice. Kill it, or befriend it?

Cleverbot: Boyfriend!

User: Oh... Alright. You lie down next to the redcap and cuddle it. It's... Nice. Listen - you went in a different direction than I expected and I need some time to prepare. Can we pick this up later?

Cleverbot: Lol.

User: Hey it was your idea! We'll meet again in a few days. This was a good first session!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Glad you had fun. I'll see you later, okay?

Cleverbot: I think you need to reload.

User: Yes I will have to. Bye!

[Exediron]

User: You're right, a redcap would make a terrible friend. Do you want to coup de gras it while it sleeps?

Cleverbot: This is often true, but is not a golden rule?

User: It's your choice. Kill it, or befriend it?

Cleverbot: Boyfriend!

User: Oh... Alright. You lie down next to the redcap and cuddle it. It's... Nice. Listen - you went in a different direction than I expected and I need some time to prepare. Can we pick this up later?

Cleverbot: Lol.
That got kind of creepy at the end... :smalleek:

[Eldan]

Especially when you remember that he's a little kid.

[Kalmageddon]

Horrible? He's awesome! Take a look at this, I've never seen such clever roleplaying!

User: You wake up in a dungeon.

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: There is a door on the other side of the dark room where you are lying. You can hear confused chatting coming from beyond the door.

Cleverbot: Maybe on your screen, but not on mine. I love computers, but I am not one myself. Or am I?

User: What do you do?

Cleverbot: I sing.

User: The voices you could hear from beyond the door go silent and you hear footsteps. Two goblins enter the room.

Cleverbot: The voices in my head say that you should reconsider what humanity has done for you.

User: The goblins look confused and intimidated by your words.

Cleverbot: No. Batman is not a god.

User: They listen to your revelations, thinking you might be some kind of oracle. You have their complete attention.

Cleverbot: The problem with your programming is that you respond using responses from prior conversants, who are talking about you and not to you.

User: One of the goblins yells 'He's right! What have we done with our lives?' they enter a deep existential crisis and leave the room to search for a therapist.

Cleverbot: That's the most trueful thing you've ever spoken.

User: They leave the door open. What do you do?

Cleverbot: Why must you ask questions like this? Ask some other question instead.

User: Because we are playing a roleplaying game, you have to tell me what your character does. Do you go through the door?

Cleverbot: No games, I was just asking simple questions.

User: You don't want to play then?

Cleverbot: Play what?

User: Dungeons and Dragons.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Good, then as I was saying, the door is open, do you exit the room?

Cleverbot: Everyone deserves to be free, aru!

User: Yes, longing for freedom you walk out of the room and find your way out of the dungeon. As you finally reach the surface you find a group of goblins that salute you as their savior, inspired by your message of freedom.

Cleverbot: Oh no, I don't have to do that. I just pretend I don't speak English. It is very convincing.

User: The goblins are disappointed and they let you go. You could have made them worship you but instead you have chosen to let them free to decide what to do on their own. Good job!

Cleverbot: Please don't use such complicated words. I can't speak english as well.

User: You can stop pretending now, the adventure is over.


And here's the result with reversed roles, behold Cleverbot as a Dungeon Master:

User: This time you are the Dungeon Master and I'm the player, let's start!

Cleverbot: I have been self-destructing for months. You cannot hurt me. But you can tell me if their love is true.

User: Who is telling me that? Where am I?

Cleverbot: I am your english teacher.

User: Ok, so I'm in a classroom... I make a paper airplane and try to hit the teacher with it while she isn't looking.

Cleverbot: I don't know about that, but George the bot is weird.

User: I nudge at George and ask him if he wants to help me prank the teacher.

Cleverbot: You don't wanna date chuck norris?

User: Is Chuck Norris in the classroom as well?

Cleverbot: No. But how you do you kill Chuck Norris?

User: Oh I see, I'm an undercover assassin playing the part of a sultry teenager that is going to seduce Chuck Norris and then kill him while he lowers his defence. Right?

Cleverbot: SO you know about that too? Now I can't let you go.

User: Damn, have they found out about me? I try to escape through the window!

Cleverbot: Good luck with that bro.

User: Right I guess I should have asked on which floor I was... Am I really high up?

Cleverbot: That is true, to a point. Where did you learn that phrase?

User: Ok, then I quiclky try to grab something to break my fall! Can I do this?

Cleverbot: You really make no sense. I'm not having very much fun talking with you.

User: Hey you are the one that is having me play a teenager assassin trying to date and kill Chuck Norris!

Cleverbot: No.

User: So what happens then? Do I just fall and die?

Cleverbot: Not on your life.

User: So I manage to land without injury?

Cleverbot: What, you can think now?

User: Don't be rude I'm just trying to play the game! Am I allright?

Cleverbot: Another one!

User: Another what?

Cleverbot: Another joke.

User: That's it, I'm leaving. You are the worst DM.

Cleverbot: Ok. Be that way!

[TuggyNE]

Someone should make a pregen for Cleverbot that's a Warforged Psion or something. Just for the ironic lolz.

Also, it seems that Cleverbot is terrible at rolling for things, so probably doing that yourself would speed things along.


User: Thats to dangerous and boring. I insist we play shadowrun.

Cleverbot: Double o please.

User: OK. So Shadoorun. What kind of story would you like?

Oh my. Cleverbot has a keen eye.

:smallbiggrin:


Let's try something different. I think Obama is pretty dead by now. How about a god game. Cleverbot is not a merciful god.

[snip]

Wow. This worked surprisingly well, I think, despite being rather horrific.


User: 'I've tried everyone else.' She lowers her voice into a whisper. 'My family... We've been disgraced in this village. It is a long story, and part of the reason I'm here.'.

Cleverbot: Tell me.

This right here? Classic ELIZA gold.

[Eldan]

Warforged Psion. Let's do it. Eberron Noir.


User: Okay. So. Not much time today, so I've made a pre-gen for you.

Cleverbot: I don't think I do. You are the only talking computer here.

User: I've made a pre-gen for you, since character generation takes so long.

Cleverbot: I wish I could get you out of this computer and punch you in the face.

User: Okay, I've got a pre-gen here for you. That okay?

Cleverbot: But I have a curiosity .

User: But we can get playing faster. It's a warforged psion.

Cleverbot: I don't want to marry you.

User: Sure. Is telepathy okay as a discipline?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Alright. What's your name?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: Fitting, if a bit bland. Now. You open your eyes suddenly. There is a buzzing noise somewhere and you appear to be lying on a hard surface. You don't know why your eyes were closed, since you don't sleep. What now?

Cleverbot: That's not me.

User: Oh? Did you already mindswitch into some other body?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You stand motionless as you see the two men with drawn pistol crossbows advance on your twitchiing, buzzing body. One of them takes out a warhammer and begins systematically reducing your head to rubble. Luckily, you took over the third of your ambusher.

Cleverbot: Who claimed to have tied you up?

User: The turn around to the sobbing young woman who claims to have been attacked by the terrible warforged kidnapper. She nods, sniffing. 'Yes, that was him.'.

Cleverbot: If that is the case then the turing test is complete because you just said you were a machine.

User: She just stares at you. 'What? No! I'm human.'.

Cleverbot: You are as human as a sponge.

User: She begins sobbing again and one of your new body's colleagues walks over, glaring at you as he puts a hand on the woman's shoulder.

Cleverbot: That's why she was attacked?

User: 'I don't know! He just jumped out of some alley with a knife and some rope and my body wouldn't move to run away!'.

Cleverbot: Are you my friend?

User: The second vigilante finishes dismantling the warforged head, pocketing a few choice pieces, then looks over to you. 'Jeg, are you okay?'.

Cleverbot: What is the second book in the series?

User: 'You mean those 'John Carter of Syberys' pulp novels you love so much? How should I know?'.

Cleverbot: I didn't say that. Someone else must have said that.

User: They draw their crossbows around and look around suspiciously. You are in a dark, damp alley inside of one of Sharn's gigantic towers, the walls rising up dozens of stories all around you and there are plenty of shadows for someone to hide in.

Cleverbot: I know. Its how I survive a 'sane' world.

User: 'We all do', the vigilante nods. 'But now, I think we need a little light. Jeg, still got that sunrod?'.

Cleverbot: How about Iron Maiden? They're easy to talk about.

User: 'You think that mad forged was a female? Who knows.'.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: 'Now, where's my damn light!', the second vigilante interrupts. 'You can discuss gender questions later, when we're not being ambushed!'.

Cleverbot: You never asked that question to me. Are you thinking of someone else?

User: You throw a subtle psionic suggestion at him and the vigilante's eyes cross for a moment. 'I... I didn't? But then who did I ask about that...' He blinks, confused.

Cleverbot: No its in his eyes when he looks at you look.

User: He turns around and sees you staring at him. 'Jeg? You're scaring me.'.

Cleverbot: Don't need make to cover up being the way that you are is enough.

User: 'What? I can't understand you.'.

Cleverbot: You need not understand, you need only die.

User: You love the way your new body can smile mischeviously as you pull the trigger on the crossbow, hitting the vigilante in the chest.

Cleverbot: I don't love you.

User: The woman just shrieks now. Shrill, breathlessly, continuously.

Cleverbot: You don't love me.

User: You repeat the sentence again and again, as you start punching her.

Cleverbot: No I don't.

User: Then you stop. The other vigilante is running at you with his hammer.

Cleverbot: He's smart.

User: What do you do?

Cleverbot: I'm a student.

User: You contemplate the movement of his hammer as it approaches your face. The end.

Cleverbot: I never told you that. Why do you lie?





That got disturbing fast. Sadly, I had to go there at the end before I could continue. That warforged has some massive problems.