Things I'm Not Allowed To Do While Gaming

[littlechicory]

835) i may not call a warforged bard "Jukebox"
836) neither can i call it "I Pod"
837) it doesn't play an electric lute
838) neither does it have a built in amp.
839) my Warforged Paladin's warcry is not "For the Greater Good"
840) my Warforged Cleric's holy symbol is not the windows logo
841) Neither is it the Apple logo
842) and its Diety is not "Mr Gates"

DM: Your warforged gets the blue screen of death. Roll a new character.

[Hzurr]

All nouns can be verbed. :smallwink:

Yay English!

Actually, this happens all the time. I mean, how many times have you heard someone say "facebook me." Since we lack a group of people to tell us how the language works (*shakes fist at l'acadmie francais*), people are free to do pretty much whatever they want with it. Now, I'm not saying this is a good thing (*glares are rap music*), but it happens.

[Alex12]

Yay English!

Actually, this happens all the time. I mean, how many times have you heard someone say "facebook me." Since we lack a group of people to tell us how the language works (*shakes fist at l'acadmie francais*), people are free to do pretty much whatever they want with it. Now, I'm not saying this is a good thing (*glares are rap music*), but it happens.

Wow, that sounded smart. I'm going to go Google you.:smalltongue:

[Soups]

DM: Your warforged gets the blue screen of death. Roll a new character.

Naw. It falls unconcious untill you hit it in the neck arm and head. Then wait 30 rounds untill he revives.

[Naleh]

Yay English!

Actually, this happens all the time. I mean, how many times have you heard someone say "facebook me." Since we lack a group of people to tell us how the language works (*shakes fist at l'acadmie francais*), people are free to do pretty much whatever they want with it. Now, I'm not saying this is a good thing (*glares are rap music*), but it happens.

Actually, I've never heard anyone say "facebook me" . . . although as Alex12 pointed out, I hear "Google (something)" every day.

On an entirely related note (:smallconfused:), I notice this thread has just passed the 2,000-post mark.

[Leicontis]

6263: As a level 6 party, must NOT act incautiously towards the Justicator, especially when all but one member of the party are Chaotic...
6264: Just because the LN outsider wants a Helm of Opposite Alignment, doesn't mean he's going to be able to knowingly put it on.
6265: Attempting to lie to the LN outsider will probably not end well.
6265b: Misleading and partial truths, however, are just fine.
6266: There has GOT to be a better way to trick him into putting the helm on than disguising its appearance, hiding its magic aura, mixing it in with a bunch of crappy and ridiculous-looking mundane hats made with creation spells, and asking him to put on every hat in the bag "which contains a number of mundane hats".
6266b: But there is unlikely to be a much funnier way.
6266c: Especially one that involves getting a Justicator to put on a sun hat made of grass and a cowboy hat made of dog hair.
6267: This space intentionally left blank.
6268: DO NOT screw around with the crazy super-powerful wizard. Playing off his insanity and/or temporarily participating in it, however, are fine.

[Telok]

6269: The CN gnome druid who has no name and insists on being called Sir cannot force the GM to call him Sir. The gnome druid will accept the GM calling him Hank.

6270: The gnome druid cannot threaten to start killing gods to force the GM to call him Sir. But that's only because he's still only level 9.

6271: The rest of the party is not allowed to call the CN gnome druid Hank. The gnome can summon snakes and spider swarms into their bedrolls all night.

[Freelance Henchman]

Newspeaking goodthinkful. Oldthinkers unbellyfeel newspeak. Read Orwell.

Doubleplus cromulent.

[Effluvio]

A few announced by my wife for me:

6270: One may not roleplay a sexually abiguous urbanite gnome named Metro
6271: One most certainly cannot play said gnome while singing such hits as "gnome, gnome on the range" and "you're gnome body til somebody loves you"
6272: Naming your female necromancer after the rotting fluids coming from her thrall is a sure way to cause rocks to fall
6273: altering said name by one vowel and making said character male IS acceptable, barely


for a seperate game, DM declares rules 6274 and 6275
6274: no you may NOT create silver jacketed hollowpoint rounds filled with essence of garlic, no you may NOT use said as your primary ammunition
6275: No you may not create a blood clown who does the fireman routine with a pumper truck full of holy water

[Studoku]

6276:I am not allowed to choose Tourette's Syndrome as a flaw
6276b:Or a trait
6276c:Or just roleplay tourette's syndrome

[Ravyn]

6277. The GM is to refrain from killing interesting NPCs in ways that cause me to feel responsible. It gets old.
6277b. If he does so anyway, and the NPC takes a little while to expire, he should expect that I will do everything in my power to prevent it. Including using that astral eavesdropping portal spell I'm so fond of to invent the tracheal bypass. (This was in a freeform.)
6278. On a slightly different note (and different game), even if I am making sure the group is thinking as one, I need to stop taking so many opportunities to create massively epic stunts that incorporate all the PCs and the occasional NPC. The GM is getting entirely tired of the stunt barrier breaking so regularly.
6279. I should remember that "I attempt to convince the power-hungry megalomaniac that he doesn't want to become a god because the paperwork is atrocious" will probably not work outside my game group, or even with characters other than the one I just pulled it off with.
6280. And make sure the character who did it is better with the red tape before he tries it again. For verisimilitude if nothing else.

[Darkantra]

At the request of a DM I will now sometimes make characters with spiritual beliefs other than atheism in a Faerun based campaign. Mostly because of the points below.

6282: If I do play an atheist then when forcing a cleric of Kelemvore to explain why there are such harsh penalties for the faithless I cannot have him say, "Okay, I call bull**** on that."
6283: Especially when the cleric is important to the plot.
6284: Especially if my character had poor rolls and will most likely die.
6285: Especially if when he does die he gives Kelemvore a raspberry and says, "Jog on." on the Fugue plane.
6286: Especially because he'll be fast-tracked into the Wall of the Faithless.
6287: I cannot demand a Will save to become a Vestige in order to piss off the gods after his judgement has been rendered.
6288: Even if I roll anyways and get a natural 20, I still can't.
6289: I cannot have my new character worship the old one as the patron of atheism and then start a church for all of the disgruntled mortals of the world, no matter how hilarious the fallout with the gods might be.

[UserClone]

Yay English!//*glares are rap music*
Define irony.

[Unscrewed]

6290: The wiseass wizard is not named Harry Dresden.
6291: I am not the Master of the Extremely Dangerous Climax.
6292: Weirdness is not the sixth horseman of the apocalypse.
6293: I cannot surf on shockwaves.
6294: I cannot shoot anyone just because they're laughing maniacally.
6295: Air compressor abuse is banned.
6296: I cannot call shotgun. Any shotgun. Ever.
6297: Never again shall the Smart Hero and the Artificer meet.
6298: I cannot have any car that would make Q jealous.
6299: I cannot one-up Sherlock Holmes.
6300: Watson is fine though.
6301: I cannot talk fallen angels into redemption in less than twenty seconds.

[GuesssWho]

6302: I am not Q. (The Star Trek one OR the Bond one!)
6303: I am not a cleric of Azathoth.
6304: Or of Hastur, Nyarlathotep, or Cthulhu.
6305: Killing babies does not give me an unholy bonus of any kind. Neither does eating people. No, not sacrificing my enemies either.

[ElHugo]

Actually, according to the BoVD, properly sacrificing your enemies DOES give you unholy bonusses

[Alex12]

Actually, according to the BoVD, properly sacrificing your enemies DOES give you unholy bonusses

6306:No using the BoVD unless everyone agrees.

[Leicontis]

6306:No using the BoVD unless everyone agrees.

6306a: Especially the DM.

[Alex12]

6306a: Especially the DM.
6306b: Actually, letting DMs know the BoVD is in use is not suggested. It gives them ideas.

[Naihal]

6307. Not allowed to kill off the extremely annoying plot-critical NPC paladin through manipulation of the rules for the DM's homebrewed plane, clever segregation of IC and OOC knowledge, and a dimension door spell.

6307b. Especially when playing a good character, even though technically it's not evil since the paladin gets killed indirectly.

[NotAboutBalance]

6308. No one can be a half-orc named "Bob the Barbarian" who kills his party members with a giant magical weapon.
6309. The melea party members cannot run away to leave the primary spellcasters fighting the dragon.:smallannoyed:

[Naihal]

6309. The melea party members cannot run away to leave the primary spellcasters fighting the dragon.:smallannoyed:

Why not? It's not like the fighters are anything but stylized bowling pins anyway.

[Rockphed]

6308. No one can be a half-orc named "Bob the Barbarian" who kills his party members with a giant magical weapon.


6308b: Especially in his weapon of choice is a giant spoon.

[The Extinguisher]

6310: While poisoned caltrops at the top of the stairs are very, very effective, stopping to pick them up while being chased by a big scary monster is not.

[Icewalker]

(Actually I still need to try this one)
6311: I cannot combine a grease spell with a bag of caltrops then insist that the larger floor area covered by his falling body would cause much more caltrop damage to be taken.

[Sstoopidtallkid]

stealing that, my wizard could always use more fun stuff.

[NotAboutBalance]

(I didn't do this, someone in my party did.)

6312. Tumbling out of a circle of monsters and leaving your weapons and equipment behind, while funny, is not useful to your party.

[puppyavenger]

6314 The BBEG's fertress will not be called moral
6315 If it is it willl not be on the high ground

[TheAlmightyOne]

6316: While invading a town if the party bursts into an inn the fighter should attack the enemys rather than killing some cowering children and then getting a drink while the wizard, cleric and bard bullrush the enemy. During this the rogue should not attempt to steal bricks from the wall just because he can and the warlock should not force the animated corpse of a child to attack his parents in order to permanantly scar his former brother

We have an incredably disfunctional group. Its fun

[joe kickass]

6317: I will not summon dolphins in the female player's bed.
6318: Especially not in a desert campaign where I have never seen a dolphin.
6319: Reducing the DM to hiding under the table is not a good thing.
6320: A low charisma won't help my intimidate check.
6321: Kicking the slave driver in the face and breaking his jaw will get you hit back.
6322: DO NOT open the gates to hell then leave for a coffee.
6323: Even though a ancient chinese proverb dictates that "If you give me enoughf D20s, I will eventualy roll a natural 40," that is not a reason to take on the dragon as a lich with my bare fists.

[AKA_Bait]

6317: If adventurers are rare, powerful, and to be feared in your campagin setting informing the inkeeper that the party just found the mayor's murdered body one shall not proceed by simply saying "[npc name is dead]".

6318: If the innkeeper then panics you shall also not grab him by the lapels and scream "There is no running!"

6319: When checking for traps you shall not simply hit it with a stick and wait to see if anything bad happens.

6319b: Especially if you actually have the ability to disarm traps.

[Lord Iames Osari]

How has this thread not been locked by now? It's 18 pages over the limit.

[AKA_Bait]

How has this thread not been locked by now? It's 18 pages over the limit.

It... is... IMMORTAL!!!

Que thread locking.

[Lord Iames Osari]

Already reported it.

Seriously, anyone who's been to the RPGnet Motivator threads knows that letting a thread get too long can be a Bad Thing.

[Roland St. Jude]

Sheriff of Moddingham: Locked. If you restart it, please do so in the Silly Message Board Games section. Thank you.