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Pencil-Monkey
2013-08-07, 08:25 AM
RPGMP3.com (http://www.rpgmp3.com/) is a website overflowing with tabletop RPG Actual Play podcasts. Since 2004 it has received contributions from multiple gaming groups spread through-out the world:


The UK (Bradford Adventuring Guild, Whartson Hall Gamers)
The US (Texan Gamers, Thistledown Gamers)
Canada (Yorkton Gaming Guild)
Not to mention several groups of people who're recording their online games via Skype or Google Hangouts (RPGMP3 Professionals, Pantsless Gamers), letting Swedes and Belgians team up with the Americans and Brits to fight orcs in 10' X 10' rooms.


Want to get a close experience of what a game plays like, before you spend your hard-earned money on it?
Do you need to sate your gaming itch, but can't find anyone in your local area who's interested?
Are you looking for a friendly, troll-free forum where you can discuss RPGs, gaming and sundry nerdy hobbies?

If any of those reasons sound enticing to you, or if you're just looking for quality podcast entertainment, visit RPGMP3.com (http://www.rpgmp3.com/).
The site has recently been relaunched in a shiny new version, with a crisp and clean exterior, and even more room for Actual Play mp3s and the ensuing discussions about the games, and gaming in general.

The list of games that have been played and recorded is as long as your arm - and several games have been played by two or more groups, giving you several different perspectives on the same game:


Apocalypse World
Best Friends
Call of Cthulhu
Cat
Chill
Classroom Deathmatch
Cold City
Dogs in the Vineyard
Dragon Age
Dream Park
Dresden Files
Duck Trooper
Dust Devils
Empire of the Petal Throne
Everyone is John
Feng Shui
Forgotten Futures
Fringeworthy
FUDGE
GURPS
HERO System
Houses of the Blooded
InSpectres
Jaws of the Six Serpents
My Life With Master
Point Blank
Risus: Supervillains
Rolemaster
Runepunk
Santa's Soldiers
Sorcerer: Cyberpunk
Swashbucklers of the 7 Skies
The Mountain Witch
The Secret Lives of Gingerbread Men
Traveller
Truth & Justice
Tunnels & Trolls (both vanilla and Monsters! Monsters!)
Unisystem: All Flesh Must Be Eaten
Victoriana
Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay (1E and 2E)
Wilderness of Mirrors



In addition to all these classic games - new, old and Indie darlings - the site also boasts a complete play-through of the renowned World's Largest Dungeon, several homebrew games like World of Tropis and S.L.I.D.E.Ways, and an excellent D&D scenario inspired by the audio on the site: Tomb of Haggemoth.

And, of course, mainstays like:



D&D (from Red Box through 2nd. edition, over 3E and 3.5 to 4th edition and then some)
Pathfinder (Jade Regent, Carrion Crown, Shattered Star, Serpent's Skull, Kingmaker, Curse of the Crimson Throne)
Savage Worlds (Sundered Skies, Necessary Evil, Rippers, Pirates of the Spanish Main, Rocket Nazis on the Orient Express, Monster Hunters, Call of Cthulhu: Delta Green, etc.)



One of the very best, and most entertaining, gaming groups on the site is the Yorkton Gamer Guild (http://www.rpgmp3.com/ipb/forum/146-yorkton-gamer-guild/). As an appetizer for all the audio gaming goodness that awaits you at RPGMP3.com, this thread will present you with snippets and anecdotes from their take (http://www.rpgmp3.com/ipb/topic/6157-dragons-delve-session-01/) on Monte Cook's Dragon's Delve (http://www.dungeonaday.com/).

Featuring:

Kurtis as Roger 'Rager' (elf barbarian)
Mike as Raven (Zen archer monk)
Paul as Guess (witch)
Scott as Davor (half-orc alchemist)
Vince as Asmoranomar (inquisitor)
with Carter Lockhart as The Friendly Neighborhood GM


PS: I'm a fan of the site in general and the YGGernauts in particular, but haven't actually participated in any of their recordings; the choice and selection of quotes in this thread purely reflects my own immature sense of humour. Pre-emptive apologies all round.

PPS: This thread may contain SPOILERS from the Dragon's Delve campaign. It is also likely to be quite sweary, and occasionally downright offensive. None of the remarks are meant to be taken seriously, and besides, some of the players probably have learning disabilities, or Tourettes.

Pencil-Monkey
2013-08-07, 08:28 AM
Paul: "We're on the first floor, aren't we?"
Scott: "There's like, a gajillion floors."
Mike: "A zizillion!"
Scott: "Yeah, and each floor is scrumptulescent!"


The players quickly break into a discussion on the alchemist's class abilities, as Scott and Mike try to determine how many mutagens can be brewed per day, how long their expiration date is, and sundry details.


Scott: "Of course, it still takes me an hour every time I brew something..."
Kurtis: "You realize the average day for us down here is, like, two hours! We spend two hours wandering around the dungeon and then go: 'Y'know, I don't feel so good, let's go lie down' - 'Yeah, let's go lie down'."
Mike: "You know, Carter - Scott's right! He can brew 50 billion of them if he had the time: 'The mutagen stays active until it's used'. It's an hour of downtime, but still..."
Carter: "I'm gonna have to read over it myself, at some time."
Mike: "It says: 'It takes one hour to brew a dose, it remains active unti-'"
Carter: "No, I'm talking about his bombs."
Mike: "I know, I'm just reading the section out for you so you don't have to."
Carter: "I can read it on my own, later."
Kurtis: "Wait - Carter, you can read?!" :amused:

*Long silence*

Mike: "...That was awful."
Carter: "Negative level!" :mad:
Mike: "YESSS! I've been waiting for some arbitrary GM fiat." :biggrin:
Carter: "Bad move!"
Mike: "That was pretty low, dude."

Pencil-Monkey
2013-08-07, 08:29 AM
Lockhart: "When we last left our group of heroic adventurers..."
Kurtis: "We heard a loud awe-inspiring *Ding!*"
Lockhart: "Nope."
Mike: "And that's when you woke up next to the elf who made you pancakes."
Kurtis: "Woohoo! Pancakes!"
Lockhart: "Actually no, he doesn't - his servant does, and they're crêpes."
Kurtis: "Woohoo! Crêpes!"
Mike: "Those are ***** pancakes."
Lockhart: "Exactly!"
Kurtis: "Yeah, I'm gonna complain about THAT."
Paul: "Doesn't matter, they're free."
Mike: "Do you get porridge at the end? Porridge is better."
Kurtis: "Better than crêpes?! Have you ever had crêpes with sugar?"
Mike: "I've had crêpes, I've had crêpes a lot, crêpes are tasty - porridge is better; I love oatmeal."
Paul: "I hate oatmeal, I had it too much in my youth."
Scott: "Going to grampa's house, 'here's breakfast'!"
Lockhart: "And you guys are served cold oatmeal for breakfast at the inn."
Mike: "Woohoo!"
Vince: "But we're paying six silver?"
Lockhart: "That's assuming you're paying three silver for a cold meal; I suppose for five silver, there's an egg or two."
Vince: "That's an expensive egg."
Mike: "Can I just pay three silver and warm my porridge up?"
Lockhart: "...Suuure."
Kurtis: "With what?"
Mike: "The fire?"
Kurtis: "Gonna use your X-ray vision, Superman?"
Mike: "...Yeah!" :cool:
*Laughter*
Scott: "Touché!"
Lockhart: "Apparently X-ray vision now heats things up, instead of irradiating them."
Kurtis: "2nd level monk with X-ray vision - way to go, Pathfinder, you broke **** again!"
Mike: "I can't use it on other creatures, only porridge - really strict limitation."
Kurtis: "That'd be an awesome quirk."
Mike: "Infravision!"
Scott: "Your eyes emit microwaves, WAWAWAWA..."
Mike: "And cats blow up across the street." :biggrin:

Pencil-Monkey
2013-08-08, 04:06 AM
More silliness from The YGGernauts (http://www.rpgmp3.com/ipb/forum/146-yorkton-gamer-guild/):

As our party of heroic adventurers explore the dungeon, they come upon a locked door. The only character with ranks in Disable Device in the party at this point is Davor, the half-orc alchemist, who tries to pick the lock - and fails. Raven, the brash and foolhardy monk, promptly leaps forth and plants a punishing Kung-Fu kick on the door - and rolls a natural 1. Cue the Family Guy references:

http://sportsmedla.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/peter5.gif

Several rounds later, every party member is sporting bruised shoulders and sprained ankles from wailing at the door, but they've finally managed to open it.

Carter: "So, this room was a workroom, and still has a large grindstone, a potter's wheel, a table and cupboard filled with rusty tools, empty crates and baskets..."
Mike: "Search the room!"
Kurtis: "Help him search the room."
Carter: "Amidst the tools, you find a set of masterwork stoneworking tools, and a magnifying glass."
Mike: "Write that down."
Carter: "There's also a key on a keyring hanging next to the door."
Mike: "Hey, doesn't a magnifying glass give you +1 to Search checks? No, that's something else..."
Kurtis: *Bursts out laughing* "Like Sherlock frickin' Holmes?! Aha!" http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs15/f/2007/081/1/b/_sherlock__revamp_by_deejaylobo.gif
Carter: "I think it's applicable to Appraise checks on gems and stuff?"

Mike AKA Raven the Monk checks his inventory, and notices that he's already carrying a large bronze key.

Mike: "That means I've got two keys... Can they both on the same keyring?
Carter: "Goodness, no! The big bronze key is, like, key-to-the-city type size."
Kurtis: "It's BIG!"
Carter: "It's big and ornamental."
Mike: "I should sell it when I get back to town."
Kurtis: "So you'll be like: 'I'll sell you the key to the dungeon!', or you'll go up to the big Nordic chick you're always hitting on and be like: 'This is the key to my heart!'"
Mike: "What are you talking about? I'll be like: 'This is the key to your chastity belt, let's go!'" http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/100/3/f/jawa_wink_emote_by_reaper8436247-d3dnc6q.gif
Kurtis: "And she'll be like: 'I'll take the key for later'"

Kurtis holds out his hands in front of him, like a fisherman showing the size of his latest catch, with Carter chuckling at his juvenile antics:

Kurtis: "Or: 'You must be THIS big to enter!'"

Mike glances at the size of the space between Kurtis' hands with a calculating eye:

Mike: "Yeah, I'm good."
Kurtis: "No, you're not! Are you a frost giant? No! You're not!"
Mike: "My Con says I'm big enough."
Kurtis: "Wait, so Constitution is penis size? Can I adjust my stats? I feel embarrassed!" http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2010/060/b/3/Dark_Link_emoticon_2_by_jioplip.gif

Carter pretends to read from the Dungeon Master's Guide:

Carter: "1d6 + Con modifier." :wink:
Mike: "Inches, right?" :biggrin:
Kurtis: "I'm an elf, it's 1d8!"
Paul: "Is this where we ****-slap people, now?" http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs23/f/2008/019/a/7/a793c9c34ed7a1a9.gif
Kurtis: "Or is it: I'm an elf, so I get to use my Charisma mod instead of Con mod?"
Mike: "No, you get your Dex mod: it makes it FEEL as big - it's not the size, it's how you use it!"

The discussion is underscored by Kurtis' constant chuckling, filling the room with his rumbling guffaws of laughter.

Kurtis: "We're bad!"
Carter: "You guys have spent too much time reading the book on, umm (http://www.rpg.net/reviews/archive/9/9982.phtml)..."
Mike: "I'm a monk, I studied the Kama Sutra. I know how to make my schlong huge; Wisdom score gets added, as well."
Kurtis: "Oh, ****!"
Carter: "Trust me, you don't really wanna know what the Kama Sutra says about that subject."
Mike: "I know what it says. You know what you do? You take wasp stingers and rub them all over your pecker till it swells, and then you lay down on a massage table..."

Scott had left the room earlier to fetch a soda or whatever, and now returns in the middle of Mike's sentence:

Mike: "...But instead of a face hole, it has a dong hole. And then you wait for a couple of days till the swelling stops."
Scott: "What the heck?! http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2010/222/a/8/emoticon_shocked_by_furansu.gif I came in on the end of that!"
Mike: "It's all true."

Kurtis smirks at Scott, who plays an alchemist with a vast collection of toxins and dangerous chemicals.

Kurtis: "Hey Scott, you got any wasp poison?"
Carter: "Mike! Keep your bedroom talk at your own house!"

Pencil-Monkey
2013-08-16, 11:18 AM
Lockhart: "Rubble covers the floor in this room; the ceiling has apparently partially fallen in, and the cracked remains bow downward at an alarming angle. Fallen rubble has smashed the wooden furnishings, including what was likely a bed, a wardrobe and a chest. A small intact table and an overturned chair remains in the south end of the room."
Mike: "If I shoot the table and chair, do I get XP?"
Lockhart: "...If they're alive?"
Kurtis: "This is why we can't have nice things!"

Of course, no self-respecting party of adventurers could walk through a room in a dungeon without searching for loot, no matter how decrepit and dingy-looking it might be. The PCs soon find tracks and footprints in the scattered detritus. Looks like the orc-laden Random Encounter that dropped by during the night, while the party was trying to rest and recover spells, must have come this way. Kurtis is eager to move on, since the chamber seems to be devoid of portable valuables, but the other players show an increasing interest in the old, dust-covered furniture.

Kurtis: "Are we planning on hauling the table and chair out with us?"
Scott: "Were these made by orcs and goblins or...?"
Mike: "They were made by - YOUR MOM!"
Kurtis: "I heard orcish craftsmanship wouldn't stand up to a layer of dust this thick!" :smallwink:
Long silence, while Scott AKA Davor the half-orc alchemist is glaring daggers at Kurtis.
Lockhart: "Racism aside..."
Scott: "I will kill you."
Kurtis: "I said that coz he's an orc." :smallsmile:
Mike: "He's a half-orc, he was raised by goblins!"
Kurtis: "Same thing, same thing."

The GM reassures the players that the few surviving pieces of furniture is non-descript wooden stuff, not particularly valuable or even race-specific. The players then debate what their next course of action should be.

Mike: "Let's search everything!"
Kurtis: "Let's keep going."
Mike: [Talking through a mouthful of Doritos] "We can find awefome ftuff!"
Kurtis: "Mumble mumble murmur murmur?" :smallamused:
Mike: "Stop talking with a dong in your mouth!"
*Laughter*
Kurtis: "Good advice on being less gay! You ******."
Mike: "C'mon, that was hilarious! You got owned."
Kurtis: "What? No! That was just random crap coming out of your mouth! You're not even going for clever anymore! You used to be good at this, now you're just kinda like... flailing."
Mike: "Whatever you say." http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2010/127/1/1/11f357003a292b283561796198c477bf.gif

Pencil-Monkey
2014-02-07, 11:45 AM
Scene from Dragon's Delve episode 19, at 2 hours, 37 minutes, where Lockhart the GM gets a chance to practice his "creaky old guy" voice, when the brave adventurers save their buddy - an elderly halfling wizard - from a home invasion by a gang of low-level Rogues.

http://oi58.tinypic.com/2d9wbqp.jpg

Pencil-Monkey
2014-02-12, 11:48 AM
Still in episode 19, at 2 hours and 57 minutes:

http://www.rpgmp3.com/ipb/uploads/gallery/category_7/gallery_10823_7_473233.jpg

Pencil-Monkey
2014-03-19, 11:45 AM
Scene from the Yorkton Gamer Guild's Dragon's Delve, episode 26 (http://www.rpgmp3.com/ipb/topic/7869-dragons-delve-session-26/):

http://youtu.be/O8JhFSv94_Q