Hit Girl vs Batman

[ArlEammon]

Hit Girl vs Batman. . .

In this alternate universe, the Joker kills Big Daddy. Hit Girl is after him to torture and kill him. Batman arrives to bring the Joker to justice and is goaded by the Joker to let it happen, or to make use of himself and prove what he believes by taking on Hit Girl. Robyn suggests that Batman take on Hit Girl and stop her from killing the Joker, but he is busy doing something else. Let's say he is solving some other crime.

If it's a curbstomp against Hit Girl, assume that Kick Ass has support of some of the members that Colonel Stars and Stripes has made.

Batman has five or so minutes, maximum to 'Prepare" for any confrontation against him, and he is within sight of the Joker.

[Traab]

The only thing that gives her any possible advantage is guns if she uses them. Batman is bigger, stronger, faster, better trained, better equipped, and more experienced. In hand to hand combat, he beats her like a government mule.

[Fan]

Hit girl is a pre puberty girl, Batman is an olympic scale athlete with peak human attributes in every respect.

She does not have the physical capability to compete with Batman, even with assistance. 5 minutes of prep is all Batman needs to grab one of his powered armor suits, or get The Bat Transformer (from Batman: The Brave and The Bold.)

[Traab]

Closest thing to a victory would be her using the rest of the kick ass crew as throw away mooks to hold batman off while she quickly guns down joker. That might buy her a whole 30 seconds to do what she set out to do.

[Giggling Ghast]

It's always Batman.

[Selrahc]

Hit girl is a pre puberty girl, Batman is an olympic scale athlete with peak human attributes in every respect.

She does not have the physical capability to compete with Batman, even with assistance.

Agreed.

Kick Ass 2(the comic) showed what would happen if she fought a professionally trained adult. She would get her ass absolutely kicked.

She managed to win in the comic basically through story fiat, but Batman is far far deadlier than the ex-Russian special forces bodyguard lady. She would have to get unreasonably lucky to win.

[Fan]

Agreed.

Kick Ass 2(the comic) showed what would happen if she fought a professionally trained adult. She would get her ass absolutely kicked.

She managed to win in the comic basically through story fiat, but Batman is far far deadlier than the ex-Russian special forces bodyguard lady. She would have to get unreasonably lucky to win.

It's not even just the physical aspect, Batman is INSANELY intelligent in every sense that matters in a fight like this.

She REALLY isn't on Batman's level here.

[The Glyphstone]

Even the Nolanverse Batman, who's about as low-power Bats as you can get without going back to Detective Comics #1, would curbstomp her.

[Raimun]

There's only one incarnation of Batman that would lose here...

... and that's Dark Knight Rises Batman, right after Bane has broken his back.

So, if all this was happening at that time I would give it to Hit Girl, hands down.

[The Glyphstone]

There's only one incarnation of Batman that would lose here...

... and that's Dark Knight Rises Batman, right after Bane has broken his back.

So, if all this was happening at that time I would give it to Hit Girl, hands down.

What are Hit Girl and the Joker doing in a hellhole South American prison anyways?:smallcool:

[ArlEammon]

What are Hit Girl and the Joker doing in a hellhole South American prison anyways?:smallcool:

Actually, that sounds like Hit Girl's birth place.

[Eldan]

What are Hit Girl and the Joker doing in a hellhole South American prison anyways?:smallcool:

Obviously, this Hit Girl is Talia al Ghul.

[Kitten Champion]

Goddamn Batman, the bane of versus threads.

The only way Hit Girl would be able to fight him would be in a scenario where she, like the intelligent and reasonable girl that she is, deduces Bruce Wayne is Batman and simply shoots him in the back.

[Senator Cybus]

Goddamn Batman, the bane of versus threads.

The only way Hit Girl would be able to fight him would be in a scenario where she, like the intelligent and reasonable girl that she is, deduces Bruce Wayne is Batman and simply shoots him in the back.

Except you just know that Batman would have anticipated this exact scenario, and installed a layer of triple-weave kevlar and fake blood pellets into his business suit to fake his death, so he could later track down and capture Hit Girl by, like, remembering the exact sound of her retreating foot steps or tasting the bullet or some damn thing.

Goddamn Batman! :smallmad:

[Traab]

Goddamn Batman, the bane of versus threads.

The only way Hit Girl would be able to fight him would be in a scenario where she, like the intelligent and reasonable girl that she is, deduces Bruce Wayne is Batman and simply shoots him in the back.

Yeah but it isnt even the whole, "Batman never loses" type of thing, its a pure weight class variance. Give hit girl another 15-20 years experience and MAYBE she would have enough training skill and relative stats to at least put up a decent fight. But at her age? Hell no. Not if we gave her the entire lineup of kickass good guys all working together. As I said earlier, at best she could use them to slow down batman long enough to pump a dozen rounds into the joker. And honestly, I wonder how that trial would go?

Prosecutor "Your honor, members of the jury, I will show that this young woman did willingly, and with malice aforethought deliberately commit murder in the first degree on the night in question."

Defense "Your honor, members of the jury. IT WAS THE FREAKING JOKER!!!!"

Judge "Case dismissed, with the courts thanks. Glad someone had the stones to finally do it."

[Tiki Snakes]

Except you just know that Batman would have anticipated this exact scenario, and installed a layer of triple-weave kevlar and fake blood pellets into his business suit to fake his death, so he could later track down and capture Hit Girl by, like, remembering the exact sound of her retreating foot steps or tasting the bullet or some damn thing.

Goddamn Batman! :smallmad:

Or, you know. Simply managing to spot the fact that a girl packing a concealed pistol is trying desperately to get out of his field of vision.

[Surrealistik]

This is probably the most blatant mismatch I've yet seen on these forums, and that's saying a lot.

[Kitten Champion]

Or, you know. Simply managing to spot the fact that a girl packing a concealed pistol is trying desperately to get out of his field of vision.

I keep forgetting about his Byakugan, silly me.


Yeah but it isnt even the whole, "Batman never loses" type of thing, its a pure weight class variance. Give hit girl another 15-20 years experience and MAYBE she would have enough training skill and relative stats to at least put up a decent fight. But at her age? Hell no. Not if we gave her the entire lineup of kickass good guys all working together. As I said earlier, at best she could use them to slow down batman long enough to pump a dozen rounds into the joker. And honestly, I wonder how that trial would go?

Prosecutor "Your honor, members of the jury, I will show that this young woman did willingly, and with malice aforethought deliberately commit murder in the first degree on the night in question."

Defense "Your honor, members of the jury. IT WAS THE FREAKING JOKER!!!!"

Judge "Case dismissed, with the courts thanks. Glad someone had the stones to finally do it."


Yeah, I doubt Hit Girl could beat a seasoned Navy Seal in battle fatigues let alone Batman. However, in reality, and with guns, you only need to get one lucky shot to win a fight. That's not comic logic though.

[ArlEammon]

This is probably the most blatant mismatch I've yet seen on these forums, and that's saying a lot.

So Kickass v.s is THAT extremely underpowered compared to Batman . . . Hmmm.

[Fan]

I keep forgetting about his Byakugan, silly me.




Yeah, I doubt Hit Girl could beat a seasoned Navy Seal in battle fatigues let alone Batman. However, in reality, and with guns, you only need to get one lucky shot to win a fight. That's not comic logic though.

Batman has access to an electro magnetic field projector that flawlessly deflects cop killer rounds. He keeps it in his rolex.

He only doesn't use it because the ricochet's endanger innocents. (Source: Batman: Year One. Damn fine comic.)

[ArlEammon]

Batman has access to an electro magnetic field projector that flawlessly deflects cop killer rounds.

He only doesn't use it because the ricochet's endanger innocents. (Source: Batman: Year One. Damn fine comic.)

Foiled again by my own curiosity!

[Traab]

Batman has access to an electro magnetic field projector that flawlessly deflects cop killer rounds. He keeps it in his rolex.

He only doesn't use it because the ricochet's endanger innocents. (Source: Batman: Year One. Damn fine comic.)

I remember the mythbusters trying to deflect bullets with electromagnets. it. . . didnt work very well. (I know, I know, comics) But that was for a james bond myth.

[Irk]

I really like hit girl and all, but I would have to concede that batman would easily defeat her. She isn't a superhero in the traditional sense, and as someone mentioned, she only defeated mother Russia with a great deal of luck, the circumstances that brought about said luck being absent from this scenario.

[Lamech]

Yeah, I doubt Hit Girl could beat a seasoned Navy Seal in battle fatigues let alone Batman. However, in reality, and with guns, you only need to get one lucky shot to win a fight. That's not comic logic though.
Yeah, out of movie verse where the good guys never get an unlucky bullet fragment to the face, things get a lot more dicey. I'm not sure of Hit Girl's level of competence, but I do know when bullets start flying there is no real "safe".

And this isn't so much a fight against Batman as it is a fight to kill the Joker. Assuming reasonable competence with a gun she'll shoot the Joker in the face, and call it good. What's Batman gonna do after that? Capture her and send her to the police? In not movie world; she's released and they try to track down Batman. Also Batman more or less gets immediately pinged as Bruce.

Even if Batman stops her from killing Joker time one around, Batman will still get immediately pinged as Bruce, and she'll just kill him time two after Bruce gets locked up.

Long and Short: Batman only works because the world is designed around him. Also I'm running off of Nolan Verse.

[D_Lord]

Ok, now i'm curious why does everyone think in the real world that bruce = batman can be found out in seconds when, there are two main problems, 1 we have a lot of OoC knowledge like where the bat is a lot more than most people, two the common limit that he is so clearly rich so it has to be this guy is a bit harder. it doesn't look like it but next to where I live there is quite of few people that have it made but don't live like it.

[Kitten Champion]

Batman has access to an electro magnetic field projector that flawlessly deflects cop killer rounds. He keeps it in his rolex.

He only doesn't use it because the ricochet's endanger innocents. (Source: Batman: Year One. Damn fine comic.)

Of course he does.

He probably has a logic deflecting device somewhere in his utility belt as well.

[Fan]

Of course he does.

He probably has a logic deflecting device somewhere in his utility belt as well.

Well obviously.

It's one of many reasons Batman isn't my favorite hero, especially since he claims to be a "Realistic" hero.

[Jayngfet]

In terms of prep time, in a fight like this like five minutes is all Batman actually needs. Going against some lower mid-tier unpowered people with at best basic protection, he basically just grabs the proper utility belt from the rack and the batsuit and cape to compliment it.

Wouldn't be that hard. He has a batarang that shoots riot foam to lock them into place, another electromagnetic batarang to lock down their metal weapons, then some other trick batarang for the knockout. This is all just basic stuff he keeps in his closet in large quantities. He literally doesn't even need to take a single step to win.

[ArlEammon]

In terms of prep time, in a fight like this like five minutes is all Batman actually needs. Going against some lower mid-tier unpowered people with at best basic protection, he basically just grabs the proper utility belt from the rack and the batsuit and cape to compliment it.

Wouldn't be that hard. He has a batarang that shoots riot foam to lock them into place, another electromagnetic batarang to lock down their metal weapons, then some other trick batarang for the knockout. This is all just basic stuff he keeps in his closet in large quantities. He literally doesn't even need to take a single step to win.

Can he do this all without killing?

I'm just curious.

[BWR]

Prosecutor "Your honor, members of the jury, I will show that this young woman did willingly, and with malice aforethought deliberately commit murder in the first degree on the night in question."

Defense "Your honor, members of the jury. IT WAS THE FREAKING JOKER!!!!"

Judge "Case dismissed, with the courts thanks. Glad someone had the stones to finally do it."

Traditionally, if you follow this line of thinking you end up with Kansas being nuked.

[Hopeless]

I'm afraid you've missed an important detail... you said Batman has FIVE minutes to prepare...

No he doesn't this is Hit Girl if she's just witnessed Joker killing Big Daddy its more of a case of who Joker puts between him and Hit Girl long enough for her to either tire or he can gain the edge on her or that five minutes passing and Bats turns up.

Either way this isn't Hit Girl vs Batman, its Hit Girl vs Joker and if he doesn't have plot armour, he's dead well within five minutes although he'd get a kick out of Hit Girl if she does the same hijinx she did in the Kickass movie where she turns up in her school outfit and catches his crew by surprise!

If he's still alive when Bats turns them its because Hit Girl is in trouble so Bats saves her and after learning her dad is dead will probably look into her becoming another sidekick maybe Barbara's since we could always use another Birds of Prey group!

Now what elsewhere story I'd love to see is Hit Girl becoming the latest Robin and then becoming the new Batman either or both will be incredible!:smallbiggrin:

[Fan]

I'm afraid you've missed an important detail... you said Batman has FIVE minutes to prepare...

No he doesn't this is Hit Girl if she's just witnessed Joker killing Big Daddy its more of a case of who Joker puts between him and Hit Girl long enough for her to either tire or he can gain the edge on her or that five minutes passing and Bats turns up.

Either way this isn't Hit Girl vs Batman, its Hit Girl vs Joker and if he doesn't have plot armour, he's dead well within five minutes although he'd get a kick out of Hit Girl if she does the same hijinx she did in the Kickass movie where she turns up in her school outfit and catches his crew by surprise!

If he's still alive when Bats turns them its because Hit Girl is in trouble so Bats saves her and after learning her dad is dead will probably look into her becoming another sidekick maybe Barbara's since we could always use another Birds of Prey group!

Now what elsewhere story I'd love to see is Hit Girl becoming the latest Robin and then becoming the new Batman either or both will be incredible!:smallbiggrin:

Joker could hold his own for 5 minutes v.s. Hit Girl.

Hit Girl's more aggressive in going for the kill, but Joker has more than enough goons and Harley Quinn to hold her off for that duration.

Hell, Joker himself hand to hand v.s. Hit Girl has the edge. Guy does routinely duke it out with Batman, even if he loses it's never an auto loss.

[Anteros]

Can he do this all without killing?

I'm just curious.

Yes...are you not familiar with Batman or something? He's ridiculously overpowered and doesn't really operate within normal human boundaries.

She may have a shot against Adam West Batman (although I doubt it), but any version of Batman that takes itself seriously is way out of her league. This is a guy who regularly teams up with people with planet busting power...and they're intimidated by him. I'm not saying it's realistic, but that's how it's written.

Heck, to be honest I don't think she could beat the Joker at all. He may toy around with her and let her fight Bats for fun, but if he gets serious she's a dead woman unless Batman saves her.

[Traab]

Yes...are you not familiar with Batman or something? He's ridiculously overpowered and doesn't really operate within normal human boundaries.

She may have a shot against Adam West Batman (although I doubt it), but any version of Batman that takes itself seriously is way out of her league. This is a guy who regularly teams up with people with planet busting power...and they're intimidated by him. I'm not saying it's realistic, but that's how it's written.

Heck, to be honest I don't think she could beat the Joker at all. He may toy around with her and let her fight Bats for fun, but if he gets serious she's a dead woman unless Batman saves her.

That is honestly a good point. I mean, the joker himself is a fairly tough hombre in a fight. So chances are good she has till he gets bored making puns with her names, mocking her big daddy's death, and otherwise entertaining himself with her struggle before he squirts her in the face with his smilex shooting lapel flower, or gives her a joybuzzer of doom.

On the other hand, in this story im pretty sure the setup is, she has him down for the count and bats shows up. So maybe she ambushed him and he cant fight for whatever reason.

[comicshorse]

On the other hand, in this story im pretty sure the setup is, she has him down for the count and bats shows up. So maybe she ambushed him and he cant fight for whatever reason.

In that situation more likely the Joker deliberately threw the fight so Bats has to save him. Just to screw with Batman's mind

[Chen]

In this alternate universe, the Joker kills Big Daddy. Hit Girl is after him to torture and kill him. Batman arrives to bring the Joker to justice and is goaded by the Joker to let it happen, or to make use of himself and prove what he believes by taking on Hit Girl.

...

Batman has five or so minutes, maximum to 'Prepare" for any confrontation against him, and he is within sight of the Joker.

So the setup is Batman and Joker together somewhere and Hit Girl (and presumably the rest of the squad if we want to even make this remotely possible) are arriving in 5 minutes to kill Joker.

Joker is not mentioned to be incapacitated in any way since Batman arrived to capture him. Joker is trying to pit Hit Girl against Batman. But the situation is actually pretty bad. Batman needs to prevent Hit Girl and gang from killing Joker, while presumably also keeping Joker from killing the kids and himself.

[Fan]

Yes...are you not familiar with Batman or something? He's ridiculously overpowered and doesn't really operate within normal human boundaries.

She may have a shot against Adam West Batman (although I doubt it), but any version of Batman that takes itself seriously is way out of her league. This is a guy who regularly teams up with people with planet busting power...and they're intimidated by him. I'm not saying it's realistic, but that's how it's written.

Heck, to be honest I don't think she could beat the Joker at all. He may toy around with her and let her fight Bats for fun, but if he gets serious she's a dead woman unless Batman saves her.

I disagree that he doesn't operate within the normal human maximum, that's his entire point.

However, Batman is not a joke or someone to be taken lightly by people who can't bust planets or 1 shot him before his brain can process the light that's hitting his eyes.

Joker or Batman can take this by themselves, and if Hit Girl tries to get up on Joker, Joker's no stranger to bullets in his chest, and probably brought a few bullet shield goons.

[Tanuki Tales]

I was going to say...

What's to stop Joker from just killing Hit Girl himself exactly?

[Traab]

I was going to say...

What's to stop Joker from just killing Hit Girl himself exactly?

God that would be an interesting battle royale. Batman is trying to stop joker from killing hit girl, and to stop hitgirl from killing joker, and to keep both of them from killing him, throw in the kickass squad for extra confusion and random ass kickery and it could get so damn ugly so damn fast that aside from batman being the last man standing, I dont know how it would end up.

[paddyfool]

Alternative vs: Hit Girl vs Cassandra Cain (I'd give it to the latter, for massively superior ludicrous training, but willing to hear alternative positions).

[Tanuki Tales]

Alternative vs: Hit Girl vs Cassandra Cain (I'd give it to the latter, for massively superior ludicrous training, but willing to hear alternative positions).

She's a flat bullet timer. She'd curb Hit Girl just as hard, if not worse, than Batman would.

[paddyfool]

Yeah, but at least the weight class is the same (assuming we pick them at the same age).

[Jayngfet]

Yeah, but at least the weight class is the same (assuming we pick them at the same age).

Cass was arguably at her very best at that age, it just becomes an even worse match up at that point.

[Hiro Protagonest]

Can he do this all without killing?

I'm just curious.

If Hit Girl doesn't have a gas mask, auto-darkening lenses, and auto-noiseblockers for dangerously high decibels, then standard non-lethal grenades can send her reeling or leave her unconscious.

[paddyfool]

Cass was arguably at her very best at that age, it just becomes an even worse match up at that point.

Yeah, I was kind of wilfully ignoring the power differential between universes, while just comparing two portrayals of the "preteen girl trained to kill from a very early age".